How do you fall back in love with life?
clean your room. Â clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesnât have miasma clinging to it can work wonders. Â clean the dishes. Â sweep. Â take out the trash. Â peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them. Â take a long shower. Â scrub behind your knees. Â brush your teeth. Â (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can. Â the end result is worth it.)
pull out your notebook. Â it doesnât need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you donât usually write in, or that you havenât touched in a while. Â fuck moleskins. Â the yellow legal pad will work fine. Â sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list. Â count clouds. Â describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise. Â sketch the cracks in the walls. Â note the shape light makes when it enters a space. Â talk about what the air tastes like, smells like. Â what sounds are there? Â even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything. Â remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail. Â remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness. Â your world is fathomless. Â it has potential.
drink cold water and try to eat something that isnât processed. Â it does not need to be fancy. Â buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions. Â eat it outside. Â if youâre someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs. Â take your fucking meds. Â remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body. Â your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesnât change its inherent worth and splendor. Â take care of it.
read a novel. Â underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen. Â read a novel like itâs poetry. Â read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious. Â watch a movie you havenât seen before. Â if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one. Â take your time. Â let yourself bask. Â if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down â marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
your chosen family is important. Â remember, they picked you as much as you picked them. Â the love has no obligation. Â it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion. Â you are not a burden. Â if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people. Â when they need you, listen and be gracious. Â always be gracious. Â the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
listen to new music. Â link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that. Â listen to something that you donât usually listen to. Â we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music. Â we are falling in love again. Â the soundtrack needs to be specific to that. Â
allow yourself to indulge in romantics. Â press flowers in old books. Â play movies with subtitles and mouth the words. Â dance in your room. Â wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldnât wear it in public. Â write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them. Â write poetry, even awful poetry. Â revel in its awfulness. Â eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market. Â
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