Horrible How-To

Learn how to do things. The wrong way.

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How to Make Your Very Own Horrible How-To Video!

Horrible How-To is a series of idiotic videos that I started in my garage, but that doesn't mean that I'm the only one who can show people how to do stuff. 

In celebration of the 20th video in my ridiculous adventure, I'm encouraging you to make your very own Horrible How-To Videos with this instructional gem. 

Materials:

Smartphone

Questionable Lighting (I use a desk lamp)

Inspiration (Typically lots of beer)

Aspiration (Tazmanian Devil or Cat Poster, preferably)

Instructions:

Get inspired!

Make a Horrible How-To Video on Instagram!

Use the hashtag #horriblehowto

Repeat

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And so it begins.

Do you find yourself wanting to make things, but constantly find yourself stuck on where to start? Well have I got the solution for you. 

Welcome to the official Horrible How-To blog — a destination for people who want to learn how to do things in true DIY fashion. 

Enjoy!

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How To Make an Old Fashioned!

The Old Fashioned is a cocktail that everyone should know how to make. Some use bourbon, some use rye. Some use whatever whiskey they can get their hands on.

This recipe is sure to make you a hit at your own cocktail parties or whenever you find yourself behind the bar. 

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How To Throwback Thursday!

Tired of lame "Throwback Thursday" or "Flashback Friday" social media posts? I know I am. All my baby pictures are dumb, and so are everybody else's. 

In this video, I'll show you how to do a real throwback.

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How To Listen to Bjork Music Properly!

Shit. Have you ever thought to yourself, "Man, I really love Bjork. I need to experience her music in a more ideal way than just driving to and from work?" I definitely have. 

This is the best way to listen to Bjork. Hands down.

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How To Pay a Small Tribute to the Late Robin Williams!

Rest in peace, dear Robin Williams. You were loved by many, and I will always think happy thoughts when I think of you.

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How To Make Butterfly Joints!

Have you ever wanted to make Butterfly Joints (AKA Dutchman Joints, Butterfly Keys, Bowtie Joints) for small or large woodworking projects? Sweet baby jesus, I know I needed to learn this skill due to my wife's affinity for mid-century modern furniture. Here's what you need to do. 

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How To Make the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Cowabunga, y'all.

So what if the new movie is a turd. What matters most is the actual turtles that you can make by watching this video. 

If you love TMNT for life and you call yourself a fan, this instructional video is critical.

You'll be able to hang out with Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello, and Splinter for the rest of your life if  you just follow these steps.

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How To Be a Hardcore MotherF***er!

Are you tired of not being a hardcore motherfucker? Well, that attitude just about sums it up.

Stop being tired about not being a hardcore motherfucker and JUST BE A HARDCORE MOTHERFUCKER! 

Watch this. You'll figure it out. If not, you should learn how to knit or some shit.

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How To Make Wolverine Claws!

"Whaaaaat?!!!" 

I know, right? Making your own Wolverine claws is the most kick-ass thing you could ever do. Ever.

Even if you never get married, have children, find a career path that you love, or any of that conventional bullshit, you can find comfort in the fact that you can (and will) make your very own Wolverine claws! 

Check out this video to learn how to construct Logan's signature weapons by using a few scraps from your garage. 

Please Snikt safely, folks. 

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How To Make Music with Beer Bottles!

Some people can play the guitar and woo everybody around the campfire and other bullshit. Others can't. And I definitely fall into the latter category. 

If you aren't musically inclined in any way shape or form, you can still get laid by learning how to play a very sexy, very accessible instrument — the beer bottle!

Watch this video to find out exactly how to hit the notes you need to hit to get the numbers you want to get by making magical melodies from carbonated libation containers. 

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How to Train Your Dragon! (Dragon Edition, Part 3 of 3)

Okay, so maybe the dragon you summoned was way to adorable to slay with your broadsword. And that's totally fine. As red-blooded Americans, we're naturally in to domesticating things that shouldn't be domesticated (cats, dogs, etc.).

If you don't have the heart to slay the dragon that you just summoned, you should follow these easy instructions to learn exactly how to train your dragon.

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How To Summon a Dragon! (Dragon Edition, Part 2 of 3)

So, you've learned how to make a broadsword. Great! Fan-fucking-tastic! Now it's time to put that sword to the test ... BY SUMMONING A DRAGON FROM THE DEPTHS OF WHEREVER THE HELL DRAGONS LIVE! 

Watch this video to find out how you can summon a dragon with a few things you can probably find around your house. 

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How To Make a Broadsword! (Dragon Edition, Part 1 of 3)

Oh. My. God.

I just got back from my LARPING session and I learned an amaaaaazing way to make a broadsword with just a few household items. 

Watch this video to learn how you can make  your own broadsword at home with a few materials in a few easy steps!

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How To Change a Lightbulb!

Knowing how to change a lightbulb is an essential home-repair skill for any homemaker. Basically, if you don't know how to do it, you are an idiot.

But just to make sure, I made this video to go over the step-by-step instructions on how to change your very own lightbulb.

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How To Make an Environmentally Friendly Popsicle!

I don't know about  you guys, but I live in Texas and it's fucking hot as shit outside. Growing up, there was nothing better than opening my parents' freezer and ungratefully consuming four to seven popsicles at a time during the summer months. 

But what if there was a popsicle that gave the gift of that kept on giving? Follow this easy instructions to make a tasty summer treat that you'll be able to enjoy for days on end!

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How To Recreate a Scene from "The Sandlot!"

Say whaaaaaaaaaat? You don't know how to make a classic scene from "The Sandlot?" You're killin' me, Smalls! 

Stop being an L7 weenie and learn how to do some directing, editing, and acting to re-live and re-make a wonderful scene from this 1990s children's gem.