the clown makeup is permanent

my name is mallory and this is where i publicly talk to myself. she/her

[i-am-a-lazy-mess]

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[pixiecaps]

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

[parakeet]

if you go looking for doom and gloom all you will see is doom and gloom. if you go looking for reduced items at the grocery store you may find a littol treat

[beardedmrbean]

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[ohlivish]

hey did ya'll know that ed sheeran is working on a series of 6 albums named after media player buttons and the first one released last year and the last one is to be released posthumously on the day that he dies

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about Ed Sheeran to prove otherwise

[knifefarty]

…huh

[hotdogsummer]

what do you mean i get to come home after a yoga class and take a shower while a beautiful girl cooks me dinner and then we watch a movie together!!!!!!!????????

[hotdogsummer]

AND SHE LIKES ME BACK AND WE GET TO MAKE OUT ALL THE TIME NOW!!!!!!!!!!

[hotdogsummer]

update: she’s officially my girlfriend :)

[the-big-mood]

[wizardshark]

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

[thisisalovestry]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[insomniparty]

[lizardsmp3]

i'm gonna keep it real with u guys i don't think we're ever becoming the new pdf like this

[hungwy]

Really cool image I found online

[hotdogsummer]

what do you mean i get to come home after a yoga class and take a shower while a beautiful girl cooks me dinner and then we watch a movie together!!!!!!!????????

[hotdogsummer]

AND SHE LIKES ME BACK AND WE GET TO MAKE OUT ALL THE TIME NOW!!!!!!!!!!

[michameinmicha]

There are posts for explaining your url but i want one for blog title, so ill just make one myself:

Reblog this and tell us in the tags what your blog title means!

[gaytanic-panic]

[cartoonrival]

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

[cartoonrival]

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

[hotdogsummer]

what do you mean i get to come home after a yoga class and take a shower while a beautiful girl cooks me dinner and then we watch a movie together!!!!!!!????????

[hotdogsummer]

can i just take a moment to say OH MY GOD!?!??!? OH MY GOD!!!!!???????!!!!!