Somebody called me Sebastian

Immortal. Circa 2100 years old. Gender: human identified male. Wise. Swimmer's body. Cheekbones not too wide apart. Nice teeth. Interested in homoerotic statues and dragons. Hotpant enthusiast and gay as they come. Am I the papa to an egotistical little pet ermine named Salvador? Darling, of course I am.

[hotpant4hotman]

My life became an absolute dream the moment I stopped asking why, and began asking, "Why not?"

Why not hotpants at the opera? Why not coq au vin for breakfast? Why not dress as my father for a costume party?

So, darlings, ask yourselves... Why not?

[hotpant4hotman]

Dear Tumblr,

Hi. You do not know me yet, but I know you.

You see, I have been watching you from a distance, not in a disturbing, stalker-y kind of way, but in a gentle, refined, hot-grown-man-with-doe-eyes manner. I am, after all, a gentleman, and as such I have taken the time to observe you so that I may hatch the perfect scheme of seduction.

At first glance, I admit, you had not caught my eye nor captured my heart. You were subdued, ordinary, perhaps even a little mousy for my liking, and I can imagine you were aware that I am anything but. However, after several hours of quiet watchfulness, I began to see your humble little appeal. You came to remind me of my most well beloved little servantmen, who are never allowed to be more beautiful or flamboyant than I am, but whose unremarkable presence in my home is nevertheless of incredible import. I came to think that, yes, I could take you into my employment and assign you a corner to stand in, whereupon you see me every day, thereby increasing the joy of your existence exponentially, and I will, once in a while perhaps, glance in your direction and offer you a little smile. I should like to keep you as my only official tumblrman. You'd like that, wouldn't you?

[hotpant4hotman]

It's quite clear that the scene in whenst Walter White is first displayed in his underwear was a direct homage to Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Different men, same tight whites.

[hotpant4hotman]

Hotpants seem like a modern invention, but in truth they can be traced back to at least the 16th century. Early performances of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet costumed Romeo, Tybalt and Mercutio in hotpants that were color coordinated to indicate house allegiance. I find it perpetually disappointing that neither Game of Thrones, nor House of the Dragon incorporated hotpants into the costume design of their characters. It would not only lend some much needed historical accuracy, but would serve narrative purpose as a quick visual indicator of which character served which house and so on.

[hotpant4hotman]

Everyone is talking about the blockchain, but why aren't we talking about the cockchain?

[silasalix]

“how to get rid of a tulpa i dont like” that is a WHOLE ASS PERSON. what the fuck-

[hotpant4hotman]

It is actually hurtful to overhear someone plotting to kill you. I have feelings. Besides, it's poor planning because I'm not going to make myself available for the slaughter after I've become aware of their homicidal intent!

[hotpant4hotman]

Take it from someone who has seen it before: an unlaminated cardboard character standee is a series of accidents waiting to happen. I recommend a flavored topcoat if you're inclined to licking your cardboard figure, which can be applied over an aquaphobic basecoat. When it comes to the choice of flavor, trends come and go but the classics are always in style - just because you can coat your Chris Hemsworth in coconut doesn't mean that you should.

My favorites are vanilla, salted caramel and eggnog.

[hotpant4hotman]

Tfw you're a tulpa and he wants a "real" man.

[poisonedsequin]

GmbH fall 2021 menswear

[hotpant4hotman]

Oh, these would pair wonderfully with my furry little pant over winter.

[hotpant4hotman]

It's the year of our lord 2022, and I can't be the only gay still waiting for a "flameo, hotman" pickup line.