Mandatory hour long corporation propaganda video

A place where I can reblog all the things I find interesting. He/him. Follows from mediocreskills

[kosmogrl]

we got august this week

[phantomrose96]

I thought I got laid off during work today and it happened during a recorded meeting and the recording of my reaction is funny honestly. I look like I'm over-acting for a casting call.

[phantomrose96]

Outlook sends me push notifications on my phone for meetings when it's 15 minutes before the meeting start time

2:50 I'm in an ongoing meeting and I notice my phone buzz. I glance at it

Outlook notification that says "1:1 with [my full first name] [my last name] @3:05"

My only standing 1:1 meeting is with my manager

Not this day of the week, not this time, not titled like this

Ruling that out, for a meeting I did not expect and did not recognize, my next and most immediate assumption was "fuck. fuck it's a layoff snipe. they just put this on my calendar and it's a layoff snipe"

You can see this in my expression as I'm, on camera, frantically pulling up my work calendar

4 seconds into this I suddenly remember the new principal engineer in our org who, a few weeks back, scheduled a flurry of 1:1 meetings with other engineers in the org to meet/break the ice

I had, weeks ago, been like "yeah sure whatever. accept."

Me on camera full mouth-open head-tilt-back "OH" expression

I turned my camera off after another like 4 seconds because my face was not going back to normal

Had meeting with new principal engineer. He used to work on Club Penguin.

[wizardarchetypes]

never thought this day would come but i’m currently having a customer service experience so bad right now that i’m defecting from the employee regiment and joining the customers in their next battle. i don’t know who i am anymore.

[wizardarchetypes]

experience that makes me research local customer service supervisors for a global corporation and tag them in a LinkedIn post, to fall upon their mercy.

[wizardarchetypes]

long story short i have worked for a call center in customer service before and i knew something was not working out. i've had to call about this issue 5 times in 4 weeks because it's still not resolved, and each time the conversation has ended i've asked for an email confirmation of our conversation and a ticket number so i can call back and reference it with a new representative.

well every time i've called, the new representative has been like "i'm so sorry, but there's no ticket by that number. i have no record of you ever calling about this. i'll start a ticket for you."

finally, the fifth time i nearly burst into tears of frustration and i said "i don't want you to start a ticket for me, because it will be the sixth ticket created for this same issue. every week, one of your colleagues tells me they'll create a a new ticket for me, and then nothing happens."

they said, "i'm sorry but i have no record of those tickets existing." and i was like i KNOW. but they doooooo what is happening.

finally i got transferred to a supervisor's supervisor.

if you've ever worked in online customer service, you know that when a customer calls with a problem, you create a "ticket" that puts that issue into the system. if you can't resolve it, it goes into a ticket queue, where other people with the ability to resolve it select it, put it into their personal working queue, and resolve it.

well after 30 minutes of searching, this supervisor tells me, dumbfounded, that she's discovered a completely unique queue she's never seen before, where my tickets have been going somehow. a pocket universe queue that no one has access to or can edit or select from, not even her. she has no idea what's happening. she's like "yes, here are all your tickets, and no one can open them or comment on them or resolve them.....this is crazy......" and it's JUST my tickets in there. no one else's. of tens of thousands of customers.

all professionalism fell by the wayside. i told her i've worked with those queues before and also found that totally wild. she was like "what the hell is going on...." and talked me through everything she was seeing and how gobsmacked she was. we were both like "this is one for the books truly"

tells me she's going to have to bring this up above herself because this is a really big error on like, a coding level, that she has no idea how to resolve. tells me she will personally call me back tomorrow to update me.

four days pass with no word.

i call customer service again. random agent. explain the entire situation, including that last bit.

agent says "i'm sorry but i have no record of those tickets existing. i'll have to start a ticket for you. rest assured, it will be resolved."

i said, "no it won't be. it never will be. because they're in the special queue."

clearly not believing me, they said, "i've heard nothing about that. i'll start a new ticket for you."

[mothmanthebreadwizard]

Do you have a moment to talk about our liege and saviour the Croaker?

[tacitustempered]

2 AM (Redraw)

[noknowshame]

clearly some of you have not been to the labyrinth of pestilence deep beneath kentucky

[noknowshame]

alright so when I was a teenager I went to this bug-themed summer camp for socially stunted nerds and on the way back from it I visited the university of kentucky. I met with an entomologist there and while we were touring the department he asked "wanna see something cool?" so he took me down an elevator to what must've been a sub-sub-sub basement on a card-access only floor, and after turning several more corners we went through two sets of (I'm not even exaggerating) 12-inch thick doors, opening onto one long as fuck corridor. each side of this hallway was lined with about 50 refrigerators. and each and every single one of these refrigerators was filled with hundreds of thousands. of live. bedbugs. the very reasonable explanation for this was that they were doing research on insecticides and needed to test them on real samples, but they could not under any circumstances allow them to escape, so they had to be kept under area 51 levels of overkill containment. but reasonable or not that was very much not what I anticipated seeing that day. so yeah. I decided after that I did not want to become an entomologist

[curlicuecal]

absolutely baffled to get to the end of that story and hear you decide NOT to be an entomologist but possibly that's the entomologist in me speaking

[noknowshame]

as this breaches containment it is vital to me that The People know my problem with the bedbug labyrinth was NOT the bedbugs. that was obviously sick as fuck. the problem was it dawning on me how much entomology research is anti-bug instead of pro bug. weird girl equivalent of realizing how much time veterinarians spend putting down dogs

[normystical]

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

[eilooxara]

[gsirvitor]

[beaft]

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

[beaft]

recent example. lady at my careers appointment had a post-it with her name on it stuck to the monitor, so i introduced myself by saying cheerfully "hello, i'm eliot! you must be [name], it's nice to meet you!" and she stared at me as if i was the stupidest person alive and said icily, "yeah, i'm [name]. congratulations, you can read."

in bygone times this would have reduced me to a sort of quivering blancmange. thankfully i am now in a place where i was able to pull back, evaluate this interaction, and say to myself "this woman should probably not be working in a customer-facing job"

[cowboyjoshdun]

really love keeping up with my mutuals through their little tags and vent posts. getting updates on how they’re doing is something like: glad to know your job at the library is going well. i’m sorry you haven’t gotten that raise. glad your finals went well. i’m sorry your teacher is so unhelpful. glad your tv show got renewed. i’m sorry they killed your favorite character. glad that you scored tickets to see your favorite artist. i’m sorry they aren’t touring near you at all. glad your cat is doing well. i’m sorry your mom is sick again. glad you’re feeling better now that it’s your favorite season. i’m sorry your meds aren’t working. glad you’re married now. i’m sorry you have to step back for your mental health. glad you’re still here. i’m sorry life is so hard. glad you’re alive, i hope things get easier for you soon

[mortalityplays]

I highly recommend developing a tolerance for polite low level conflict, not just because it will serve you well when employers or whoever try to impose bullshit on you with the expectation you'll fold rather than expend energy arguing, but because it will make you a genuine asset to your friends and allies whenever they're in positions where they're less able to fight for themselves.

the first and most important step is learning to stay calm when someone with authority tries to pressure you. take a breath, think about what you actually believe, and respond in your own time. if they try to brush past or talk over you, you can say "excuse me, can I think about that for a moment. I'd like to give you a proper answer." self esteem. you're both just upright monkeys.

[creekfiend]

I’ve been meaning to ask this for a while and I am sorry if it comes off oddly. How do you navigate an intelligence gap in a relationships? I have dated men of equivalent or greater intellect and found them inadequate in other ways, but when I have dated men less intelligent than me I become frustrated with them and their insecurities bleed into the relationship. You and Ship (or the personas you perform publicly) seem content. How do you avoid getting frustrated? [cont.]

"[part 2] I mean no insult to Ship of course. They seem very attentive and I used to really enjoy their detective skits. From the contents of your blogs they come across as so much less intellectually curious that it surprises me that you are compatible. Do you get adequate intellectual stimulation from other relationships/is that not a need for you in a partner/are my standards unrealistic?"

i have no idea how to respond to this. we have all been in absolutely helpless hysterics about it for the last thirty minutes. this is by far the most deranged ask I have received about my personal life on this website in my fifteen year career on here, and that is saying quite a lot

i can't decide which part of this message is my favorite, but if I HAD to say, probably the part where you appear to be entirely in earnest about this? in almost any other case I would assume a message like this was an elaborate way of insulting me or my partner or both, but I really genuinely don't think that's the case for you, which is actually MORE confusing. its just so compelling. there's so many layers here. i want to hire someone to cross stitch this for me so I can hang it in our living room. i can hear ship intermittently breaking out in peals of hysterical laughter in the kitchen

[creekfiend]

you can see on my heart rate monitor when I opened this ask and began laughing helplessly

[lovewillbreakyourheartforever]

[shore-birds]

[nohoperadio]

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

[hemipenal-system]

while we're emptying the nuclear queer discourse takes magazine:

if your "queer space" doesn't allow cishet men i don't trust you to be normal about and respectful towards (especially pre/early-transition) trans women. some trans women look like men. if you don't let people who look like men in at all, your space is exclusionary towards trans women, and if you don't let them in unless they tell you they're trans women you're forcing girls out of the closet to access safe spaces. stop that

(this also applies to queer spaces where they allow people who look like men but they're Weird About It the whole time you're in there if you do)

[hemipenal-system]

someone mentioned this also happening to late-transition trans men and i’m gonna be honest i also think that’s bad and shouldn’t happen to them either but i’m not sure it’s really the same

if you’re a trans guy and you’re getting barred from queer spaces for looking like a man, you’re probably far enough along that not having that space (which you totally should still have, just ftr) is not going to actively influence your transition too much, but if you’re a trans girl who is on the fence about the whole thing and you don’t get that kind of support it might actively stop you from transitioning for a while longer or doing it at all

if you’re transmasc and you don’t pass, you’re just gonna get perceived as a queer woman of some kind. and like that’s bad and not true either but no one has ever been kicked out of a queer space for looking like a queer woman. i have seen girls who look like queer men get kicked out of spaces with my own two eyes