Musings of a Midwest Heathen

The blog of a Heathen for Heathens. I'll also post anything that tickles my fancy.

[mrrobertgray]

Can’t stop, won’t stop. 😂

[bigbadkingboomboo]

there is a point i could have stopped this meme. I regret it all.

[koenigreus]

everyone go home because i win

[the-quintessential-0wl-deactiva]

me: I WILL NOT FUCK HIM ON A BOAT. I WILL NOT FUCK HIM IN A MOAT.

fandom: what’s under those ruffles bby 😩😎

me: *ignoring* I WILL NOT FUCK HIM ON A PLANE. I WILL NOT FUCK HIM ON A TRAIN.

fandom: Pennywise. more like-

me: *louder* I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND CLOWN DICK-

fandom: daddywise 😎😌🍆👅💦💦💦

me:

[never-a-good-thing-to-have-deac]

That motherfucker Pennywise is gonna fucking starve now because y’all too busy wanting to suck his dick to be scared of him 

[fastbucket-marty]

Totally unedited audio trust me

[codarpy]

[babyanimalgifs]

i’ve just come across one of my favourite videos on the internet

[shavingryansprivates-deactivate]

[dopenmind]

Reblogging this once more because my mom and I legitimately laughed to tears.

[idiotlibra]

this is my favorite video on the internet

[hashtagloveloses]

mental health tip: save this video. watch it when you’re sad. it’s the best goddamn thing on the internet

[spatscolombo-deactivated2022030]

Kirk

I know this is important to you

but I need you to take, like, three steps back from the camera

before I cry laughing

[avant-gardevoir-old-deactivated]

i think i finally figured this image out

“the” is the thing that links all these together, which is why its to the side while everything remains the same

“imagine the sky”

“touch the sky”

“how is the sky”

[beachcomberbythebeachbytheway-d]

finally, you have solved the riddle of the sphinx, accept your prize

a date with the sphinx

[avant-gardevoir-old-deactivated]

this is the best prize i could have ever asked for

[meiselr]

Name Aesthetics | Norse Gods & Goddesses

[fhoantells]

“I just want Bruce Lee to hold me as long as he can.”

I’m dying.

(imgur album)

[peterfromtexas-deactivated20250]

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone

[supapoopa]

What a time to be alive.

[tenthcorner]

“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)

[kineticpenguin]

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it

[brunhiddensmusings]

just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone

[stephendann]

Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll

[flightless-wings]

if a guy is hitting on u and he is clearly the alpha in his group of guys.. go for the third in command and undermine their whole power structure

[imperfectkreis]

Oh god, I used this tactic so often. Because in most cases I was trying to pull dudes for my friends, rather than myself. You figure out who their leader is, go for #3 or #4 in the group, who is generally much cuter and a bit more shy. This is why he ranks high, but not too high. You go hard on this dude. You hold his hand and smile at him. You don’t even have to go further. Dude #3 is just bewildered you brushed off #1. This makes the dude at the top antsy. It causes dissent in the ranks. Your friends can now swoop in, picking from the remaining dudes as they start to scatter in the wind. They have lost all sense of self. You have secured free drinks for the rest of the night. And whatever else your genitals desire.

[melaniesole-blog]

She broke that shit down so beautifully

[black--lamb-blog]

women are masterminds and i love it

[mothbug-deactivated20200626]

I need it to be known that I have not once but twice destroyed an entire male friend group by doing this

[rcktpwr]

you guys are weird lol

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

this is how i know none of yall have ever talked to boys irl yall think we’re a bunch of machiavellian shadow lords tryna dominate each other with power plays and shit that you can undermine by tryna fuck the shy one when in reality we all just make jokes about jerking off and talk about dragons. bunch of fucking nerds on this site i swear to god. you fuck the shy guy we’d be hyped as fuck cus my man deserves to get it!!!! my boys love each other!!!!

[illogical-bullshit]

This confirms the theory that no woman on this site has ever talked to a man, only to a burlap sack named Dude McMan

[raccoon-boy]

I love reading this post whenever I see it because it’s fucking insane.

[cisnowflake]

Do…do people on this hellsite really think that groups of guys are like that? This isn’t game of thrones for fucks sake.

[inthemoodforportnawak]

Buddah Cats - KyleKahotek (Imgur)

[ariristocat]

I am so happy

[dashaibo]

There’s something pure in this photoset.

[bando--grand-scamyon]

The last one omg

[officialcrow]

[binareff]

@xjjz