Dig it in there Mr. Spock

- Hrshl/Hershel, xey/xem/xyr, French, 21+ - Pfp: a picrew that I can't find anymore like an idiot - main at jjeremysstash

[hrshl-soong-laforge]

moving all my posts from my main

I antidate them so if they act weird that's normal

I also only RB from other people than myself if I added a comment/tag to it, otherwise I just RB from myself (bc I noticed that the persons still received notification so I decided to lower the damage a bit)

[mostly-natm]

There is probably a better joke in here somewhere.

[garakcore]

Seeing the phrase “Guest Star: Andrew Robinson as Garak” = instant serotonin

[garak-pussy-indulgence]

maybe i’ll pull this back out 

[plant-dad-sulu]

[tess-mercer]

kasidy is so fucking cool.... and her relationship with sisko is so so good.... like almost every other captain romance is “chick of the week” meanwhile kasidy is like “yes I love you yes I have my own career yes I’m a captain YES i will go to jail for direct action but no I will not apologize for helping those in need and yes I only know how to cook microwave meals” and siskos just like

[startrekfashion]

Julian Bashir- "Let He Who Is Without Sin"

[startrekfashion]

Julian Bashir- "Rivals"

[startrekfashion]

Elim Garak- "Our Man Bashir"

[startrekfashion]

Spock- "The Return of the Archons"

[ladyoftheowls]

This is the BEST Spock fit and I will hear nothing else

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

BASHIR IS FUCKING BRITISH????????????????

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

hes fucking garak actually. my bad

[lacefuneral]

Kirk, with a tribble in his coffee cup: “Transphobic.”

Spock: “…Sir?”

Kirk, waving the cup around: “This! It’s transphobic.”

Spock: “…I do not believe this animal possesses a concept of gender.”

Kirk, exasperated: “My coffee. I need my coffee, Mr. Spock.”

Spock: “…I fail to grasp the relevance of-”

Kirk: “It’s a hate crime, I tell you!”

Spock: “It is a minor inconvenience at best, and is entirely unrelated to-”

Kirk: “I got one. hour. of sleep. last night, Commander.”

Spock: “One hour?”

Kirk: “One hour.”

Spock, punching in the code for spice tea: “…That is regrettable-”

Kirk: “That’s what I’m saying!”

Spock: “But it does not constitute a hate crime.”

Spock withdraws his mug from the synthesizer. It also contains a tribble.

Kirk: “…”

Spock: “…”

Kirk: “…”

Spock: “…Homophobic.”

[possumtion]

More beach episode stuff

Part 1

[tombpigeon]

For all the "Bones is Sarek's favourite" truthers, I raise you this scene of Sarek gently guiding him down the steps after Spock's katra is returned.

[aphrostiel]

"But it seems I've missed you. I don't know if I could stand to lose you again."

spock and bones scene redraw

[tlirsgender]

Star trek is cool but sometimes you can tell it was written by white people

[tlirsgender]

Billy shat, narrating: the savage alien race,

Me:

[tlirsgender]

I think about that tweet about "you can tell star trek was made by white people because they're talking about 'to boldly go where no one has gone before' and then like 90% of the planets they go to are inhabited" every day

[akhalinmochroi]

originally it was “no man” as in human but they changed it to no one to make it more gender neutral and you treat them this way 

[tlirsgender]

[businessboybrick]

A Star Trek idea: A comedy sitcom where instead of a Vulcan on a mostly human ship it is a human on a mostly Vulcan ship

[hanasheralhaminail]

All the Vulcans are fiercely protective of the ‘fragile, illogical, prone-to-danger, smart, reckless little human’.

To make the human feel more accepted (as it is only logical) the Vulcans try to include aspects of terran culture in the ship’s day-to-day life, failing spectacularly at it.

The human loves them even more for it.

[southerndrawlinmypants]

They’ll get better at celebrating the human’s birthday next year. It’s the thought that counts.

[sergle]

@jvlianbashir​ THAT’S A GOOD END TO THAT EPISODE THOUGH… the vulcans put together awful, bland decorations. they make a cake because it’s of “significant importance”. they go through the process of putting together this party and Studying this Human Ritual and the entire episode is setting up to what you KNOW will be a horrible result. they do a bad job!! then when the human’s birthday comes, and they reveal the off-the-mark, underwhelming looking birthday bash, the human just. starts crying. because they had no idea their crew would go through all this trouble to celebrate their birthday, and even put up DECORATIONS, or make a CAKE, and there’s a birthday card with extremely polite impersonal messages written and a hundred perfectly tidy signatures. and the vulcans are just standing around like “you appear upset. the Birthday Party was unsatisfactory”.

[disappointingcake]

(Author’s Note: I don’t know a ton about Star Trek, please pardon any glaring inaccuracies.)

—————————————————-

T-30 Days

“Captain, I must make you aware of a significant upcoming event.”

T-12 Days

“And you are certain this is a necessary component of the ceremony?”

“I have been assured it is indispensable.”

“…Make certain the surrounding ornamentation is inflammable.”

T-5 Days

“Lieutenant, may I be permitted to scan your pendant in order to create a digital model?”

“O…kay? Any particular reason?”

“None which I may share at this time.”

T-0 days

…It’s been a long day.

Andi avoided verbalizing the thought through the habit of long practice. She did not want a well intention-ed reminder that ‘the ship’s day-night cycle remains constant, Lieutenant,’ and she wasn’t particularly in the mood to explain yet another ‘Terran colloquialism’. Normally she was more than happy to encourage her shipmate’s weirdly endearing insistence on adopting some of her more frequently used turns-of-phrase (the first time Sovos had solemnly called an outlier in his experimental results ‘the fluke’ she had almost choked to death to avoid laughing) but today she was just… tired.

She knew this assignment would be hard. Being the only non-Vulcan aboard a VSA exploratory vessel was never going to be easy, but the opportunity was once-in-a-lifetime. And she didn’t regret it. She didn’t! It was so different from Starfleet, not better per-say, but an entirely new experience to see these worlds through the eyes of top Vulcan researchers. And the others, bless their little logical hearts (which definitely existed), had been good about trying to accommodate all her weird Human needs and habits.  But that didn’t mean that it wasn’t still occasionally lonely.

Especially today. Five months was a long time, and she was entitled to being a little homesick on her birthday. The gifts and letters from her family had helped, even if they had been sent ages ago and carefully set aside with promises that she wouldn’t open them early. There was a part of her, though, that desperately wanted to hear a stupid pun, to laugh over an inside joke, to have a conversation that wasn’t entirely literal.

Which was why she was sitting here, re-reading the same sentence a third time, extremely close to calling it quits and curling up in her bunk for the rest of the day. Her cabin mate would probably only freak out a little.

“Lieutenant Brooks.”

Speak of the devil…

Andi turned in her seat, grateful for the unintended distraction. Once she actually took in Lekal, though, she couldn’t help but be slightly alarmed. Her posture was ramrod straight, with her arms held rigidly at her sides - one of her few outward signs of social discomfort. However, experience had shown that if she remarked upon it Lekal would spook like a feral cat, so she decided to go for direct observations instead.

“Good day, Researcher Lekal. For what purpose have you sought me out?” Watching closely was the only reason Andi caught the faintest twitch of her jaw before any expression was smoothed away. 

“I am extending an invitation for you to accompany me after the evening meal to Observation Room B. There are several phenomena occurring in proximity to the ship which will best be observed from that position.”

Andi was surprised. “An astronomical event?” she asked, tone just shy of neutral. “I wasn’t aware we were going to be near anything of significance.”

Another twitch.

“The objects in question are not of scientific interest, being already well understood. I was merely suggesting we observe them for recreational purposes. I have been informed they are… pretty.”

It was like a balm to her aching heart. Anyone who said Vulcans were heartless clearly had never befriended one.

“Thank you, Researcher Lekal,” she replied softly, “I’m sure it will be informative. May I in turn invite you to join me for the evening meal, so that we may depart together afterwards?” 

Lekal very careful did not shift her stance.

“That would be efficient. I accept. I will join you then, Lieutenant.” Having said her piece, she equally carefully did not run from the room, arms still stiff at her sides. Andi shook her head lightly as she turned back to her report.

—————————————————-

Bizarrely, instead of relaxing, Lekal seemed to become increasingly uncomfortable as dinner progressed. By the time they reached the observation room, Andi was certain her spine couldn’t have been straighter if the vertebrae were fused. Clearly, something was amiss; hopefully some stargazing would pry it out of her.

The deck doors wooshed open. Andi was so focused on trying to figure out how to approach Lekal, it took her several seconds to realize something looked off, and several more to realize what.

The observation room had become… aggressively purple. There was bunting on the walls, streamers making perfect lines across the ceiling, and even a few sad balloons half-inflated on the floor, all in the exact same shade of alarming violet. What had to be every purple plant in the botany department were arranged around the different seating areas, and there was a table by the window covered by a purple table cloth.

After getting past the assault on her eyes, Andi also noticed that a majority of the crew was gathered, and all looking at her expectantly.

“Uh… Lekal? What’s going on?” 

Impossibly, Lekal stiffened further. “It was brought to the attention of the vessel staff that today is the anniversary of your birth, which our research indicates is an occasion Humans acknowledge with a celebration involving a specific set of traditional customs. We have attempted to recreate these customs to the best of our ability.” Now that she mentioned it, there was a banner on the wall proclaiming “Birth Anniversary Celebration” in large (purple) font.

Andi could feel her brain failing to process. 

“How did you know it was my birthday?”

“It was recorded in your personnel file.”

“And… why is it purple?”

Lekal shifted, which was the Vulcan equivalent of panicked uncertainty. 

“You had expressed previously that the pendant you wear was a mineral associated with your birth. Further research confirmed the significance, so we endeavored to match the color exactly.”

Andi gasped. “You- you made it purple because amethyst is my birthstone?” she whispered.

Finally, her higher functions began kicking back in. She drifted over to the table, where there was a perfectly circular purple cake which read “You Were Born” on it, surrounded by meditation candles. She knew that if she counted them, there would be thirty-two. Sovos stood nearby, holding a lighter and a fire blanket.

She was stunned. She was absolutely speechless, utterly gobsmacked by the fact that they had done this. It was a miracle she hadn’t started crying.

“I don’t… I don’t know what to say.” 

Captain T’kel came over, extending to her an honest-to-god paper card the size of a dinner plate.

“I am told, Lieutenant,” she explained quietly, “that this is the traditional sentiment conveyed on such occasions.”

The cover was a swirling purple sky, and inside was beautiful, hand-drawn calligraphy that read:

Your existence improves our own.

Surrounding the words were the neatly numbered signatures of what had to be every person on the ship, arranged by department.

Oh, there were the tears.

Andi collapsed into the nearest chair, clutching the card to her chest as she valiantly failed to stop crying. Everyone else began drifting over in concern.

“It would appear,” the Captain began, always one to take responsibility for her crew, “that the celebration was in some way lacking.”

“NO” Andi choked out. She swallowed and tried again. “No this is- this is perfect. Thank you all. Thank you all so much!”

Sovos made the next attempt.

“I was under the impression that crying was a Human expression of emotional or physical distress.”

She chuckled wetly.

“You’re not wrong. But not always.” Andi looked up at them all, smiling unabashedly, and felt her eyes start to well again.

“These are happy tears.”

“You indicate emotional distress when you are not distressed. How… illogical.”

She snorted. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is. Now, let’s see that cake.”

[exlibra]

i have this half-baked idea about molly o’brien working on a school project on the different species and cultures on ds9 and she has to go around interviewing people about their home planets and their animals/plants/climate

worf (has barely been on qo’nos): ”the targ is a beautiful and honorable animal.” end of interview. 0/10.

jadzia: in-depth and quite disgusting explanation about how the symbiont works, including the transplantation process. way too many medical details are included but molly seems to like it. 5/10.

garak: in-depth explanation about the different animals and plants on prime with a long detour into what types of poetry have been written about each one. he goes home and drinks himself to sleep afterwards. alcohol poisoning/10.

quark: ”yeah ferenginar fucking SUUUUUUUCKS. write that down, kid. S-U-C-K-S” useless/10.

[exlibra]

odo: slithers into a drain to avoid questions about the founders and also because he’s scared of human children. slime/10

julian: HE’S GOT SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ABOUT EARTH AND ALSO BIG PUPPY EYES. irrelevant to the assignment/10

[unamccormack]

Miles: lovingly prepares a full presentation about the birdlife of Ireland; Molly doesn’t ask him. Sad/10

[kaelio]