Scratch an Itch (NSFW) - Work in Progress (53/?) (last updated 12/26/2025)
Alastor x Fem!Goat!Reader
Tags: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Reader-insert, light cannibalism, bad puns, fluff, Slow Burn, Non-Con Cannibalism, Manipulation, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Dad Jokes, Soft Alastor, Mildly Naive Reader, Biting, Blood, Dancing, Coffee Dates
AO3 Link
I wanna take a ride on your radio stick (NSFW) - Completed (2/2)
Alastor x Fem!Sick!Reader
Tags: Gender-Neutral Reader, Masturbation, Dry Humping, Established relationship, Male Masturbation, Alastor discovers ASMR
AO3 Link
Breakfast (NSFW) - One shot
Alastor x Fem!Reader
Tags: Female Reader, Non-con/Dub-con, Bondage, Kidnapping, Cunnilingus, PIV sex
AO3 Link
Whiskey Lips (SFW) - One Shot
Alastor x Reader
Tags: Human!AlastorxReader, Modern AU, Second Person POV, Drunk Kisses, Unrequited Love (or is it?)
AO3 Link
In the Ashes of the Garden
Hooked on Hazbin (Dead by Daylight x Hazbin Hotel Crossover)
AO3 Link
Adam x Lucifer
Tags: Hazbin Hotel x Dead By Daylight Crossover, Stabbing, Slashing, Typical DBD stuff, angst, hurt
Jujutsu Kaisen
A Butterfly Dreaming (NSFW in Part 2) - Completed (2/2)
Dark!Gojo Satoru x Fem!Reader
Tags: Soulmate AU, Non-Sorcerer AU, Temporary Amnesia, Soul Swap, Body Swap, Manipulation, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Yandere
AO3 Link
On the night of the choosing of the ocean throne’s heir, Mermaid Princes Satoru and Suguru, are told they need to seduce the human woman chosen by the prophecy to be the new queen of the ocean.
Of course, seduction might have been easier if they didn’t kidnap her but in their defense, the girl’s a sheep herder. How exactly are they supposed to seduce her when she’s no where near the sea?
Heyy! I love your writing! You’re an amazing author and I miss your work so muchh! My personal favourite is the gojo fic in a soulmate au!
Any future plans for writing a new fic? 🥺
I have lots of plans just haven’t gotten the mojo to flesh them out. Writer’s block, y’know? On my most likely to get written list is a Snow Leopard!GojoxReader and Siren!GojoxReader.
I’m posting this to help a dear friend who’s in need. This is Eve and he’s a super sweet boy and he’s been suffering lately due to enamel erosion, gum inflammation and ulcers. Any support y’all can provide would be incredible.
Link to GoFundMe
My name is Dom, and my cat requires oral surgery. He is almost eight years old, an… Dominic Ames needs your support for Help Dom's Cat Get N
The following is from a binder of family recipes assembled by my great-aunt Alice sometime in the 1970s (I think). I hope you’ll understand why I felt obligated to share it.
Oscar’s $100 Cake
Sift:
1 cup sugar
2 cups cake flour
4 tablespoons cocoa
2 teaspoons soda
Pinch salt
Add:
1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla
Bake in 9 x 13 pan in 375° oven.
(The story goes that a friend of Mother’s had had a marvelous chocolate cake while dining at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York. She wrote to Oscar of the Waldorf to find out if he would share his recipe, and that she would be glad to pay for it, thinking it might be $15 or so. When she received the recipe, she also got a bill for $100. She paid the bill but decided that for that kind of money, she would certainly share the recipe with all her friends - just to “get even.”)
Just finished the demo for How To Break up With Your Yandere Boyfriend and it’s amazing.
@devilinlovegames, thank you so much for all the work you put into it and I can’t wait for the full game.
Here’s a little something I wrote.
Warning: Spoilers for Neutral Ending D
You’re back in that elevator again, the papers in your hand with their cutting crisp edges, the silent hum of machinery, the cold lighting bouncing off of metal walls.
And him.
They said he wasn’t real, just a figment of your imagination born from traumatized memory. It happens, your therapist said. Human memory is flawed at best, and terribly unreliable under pressure. But in your dreams, he’s painfully consistent. The same black clothes, the same gloves held by a familiar grip, the same shadow over his eyes. In the space that could have fit six people, his figure stood like a black hole drawing everything to himself.
The elevator panel flickers as you ascend and cold dread spikes your heart rate. You’ve had this dream so many times before. You know what you’ll see when you walk out that door. Just down the hallway, you’ll knock on Jason’s door. Your fingers will punch the code to his apartment. You’ll stumble in the dark until you see his disfigured face.
It’s not always on the floor. Sometimes, he’s sitting at the dining table, as if he were about to eat dinner when the golf trophy cracked his skull. Other times, papers are scattered around him. Client files. Proposals. Working late into the night like he usually does. The ones that haunt you the most are finding his body crumpled into a ball on the floor, as if protecting the thing in his hands while his face was getting smashed in. As if that bracelet you mentioned liking offhand was more important than his life.
Only the man in black ever stays the same in your dreams.
The machinery stills and your heart leaps in the half second of vertigo as the elevator settles. The doors open and your body prepares to step around the man like always.
Except, he doesn’t move this time.
Your confusion lasts long enough for the elevator door to close and you and that man are engulfed in silence.
He stands there unmoving and though you don’t see his eyes, you know that he’s watching you. Waiting. Waiting for what?
For what!? Tears prickle in your eyes as the tension rises.
Your heart shudders as you remember Jason’s body, the seemingly endless questions from the police, the stares at the funeral. When things in your life were finally going well, this happened. And all this time, you’d wanted to ask him, because you’d always thought it was him. Even without evidence. Even with his alibi. Something in your gut, maybe the same thing that drove you to break up with him, told you that the one standing before was none other than, “Soren.”
That hand holding his glove in a familiar gesture twitches. It’s the only indication you get that he heard you but it’s enough for you to press on. “Why’d you do it?”
The Soren from your memories was kind and caring. So unbelievably perfect that he couldn’t have been right for you. He wouldn’t have been able to do that to man, to destroy his face with pure strength alone.
The man chuckles, broad shoulders shaken more and more until he sighs as if a weight was taken off of him. His gloved hands move to his face, dragging down the mask and taking off his hat until finally, his blue eyes are cast into the cold light. He’s just as you remember him and yet completely different.
His presence brings a chill and the light seems to get sucked into his body as he steps forward. You press your body back into the wall where you have nowhere left to go until his height looks over you. His hands cage you in. His lips are crooked into a smirk too cruel for your memory of him. You tremble under its weight.
And then it softens just a bit as he says your name, warmth wrapped in the roll of his tongue. His voice drops to a low whisper.
“How else could I show you, my love? That I still belong to you?”
Thinking about Yandere Neighbour Gojo who had only started talking to you to use you as a cover when his one-night stands came back for more. Claiming he had entered a relationship with you and using you to chase his many lovers off. He hadn't anticipated how much fun you would be to talk to. How calming your presence would be, how endearing you would come to seem to him. Before he knew it he didn't want anyone else, just you. Whether you wanted him back or not.
Wordcount: 13k+ (Supposed to be like 6k at most but again that freaky-eyed bastard just does not let me write a short fic about him)
Notes: Not canon-compliant. Yandere behaviour, forced confinement and violence. Dub-con and non-con touching and kissing
Your neighbour was at it again, the sound of the bedframe knocking against the wall making it seem like they might just crash into your apartment at any moment. Moans so loud it sounded like someone was getting exorcised instead of merely getting their rocks off.
You pulled your noise cancelling earbuds out of your bedside drawer, plugging them into your ears with a sigh. You could only hope this particular session would be over before you fell asleep so you could take them out to ensure you didn't miss your alarm in the morning. Finally getting to read without the sounds of fornication to disturb you.
You must have fallen asleep while reading, when you woke up in the morning it was twenty minutes past when your alarm had started ringing. Turning the alarm off you forced yourself out of your bed and through your morning routine to get ready for work. Skipping a breakfast with the intention of grabbing something during a quiet moment at the library.
The elevator seemed to have been fixed over the weekend, making you feel slightly better about your day as you waited for it to open at your floor. Hearing a door open down the hallway and refusing to turn back knowing all too well what you would see.
"I'll walk you out. Need to check the mail." You heard a masculine voice say making you sigh inwardly. The elevator doors opened just as the found of footsteps started down the hall and you stood as far against the side as you could, hoping to be able to claim ignorance if caught not holding the door open.
A large pale hand grabbed onto one side of the closing door just as it was about to shut, the porcelain greek god like bare upper body of your neighbour coming into view as the doors opened back up. Gojo Satoru stood tall and proud as his partner from the night before clapped and cheered for him as though he'd done something miraculous. A smirk twisting up those naturally pouty pink lips as he sauntered in.
You crowded yourself further into the wall, not wanting to bear witness to their top 1 percent joy this early in the morning. They could have been mistaken for filming a condom ad with the sexual tension the two were oozing and how good looking they were, the pretty girl giggling as Gojo cornered her against the wall.
The moment the elevator doors opened you went flying past the lovey dovey pair, not wanting to spend even a moment longer in the presence of such nauseating physical perfection. It was criminal to have to bear witness to when you hadn't even had a drop of caffeine yet.
You'd never spoken to your neighbour, to be fair you didn't speak to any of your neighbours except when the lady across had asked if you lived in the building. That too because she had grown suspicious seeing you loitering in the doorway as you tried to find your key. You had the magical ability to go unseen, blending into the background wherever you went and it suited you very well.
You weren't like your glamorous neighbour who had a new paramour every week. Each as ridiculously beautiful as the last. Some you never saw again and others you heard crying and screaming outside his door late into the night. That was how you'd learned his name, between all the curse words and wishes of ill will, they called him Gojo Satoru when threatening him.
It was quite possible you may have never spoken to one another if only you hadn't bumped right into him later that week. You'd been on your way back from a closing shift at work, having picked up some thai curry to treat yourself for getting through a long week. The moment the elevator doors opened you could hear the screaming and crying telling you your neighbour was going through another rather one-sided breakup.
You kept your head down, not even looking up as the expletives got more colourful or the threats more ruinous. You had almost made it to your door when suddenly something large slammed into you making your container of curry pop open and spill all over you.
You stared down in shock as the hot curry sank into your clothes, glancing up slowly to look into blindingly bright blue eyes. You grimaced, about to step past him when a large hand folded around your wrist, holding you in place.
"Darling I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were coming early." Gojo said and you frowned at him, wondering if he was mistaking you for someone else but you really did not look like any of his usual visitors.
"Uh I think-" You started but were cut off as Gojo yanked you forward past your door to his apartment where the girl was watching you both in bewilderment.
"Goodness look what I've done. I'm so sorry, let me get these clothes in the wash and run you a nice bath. Sorry Shelly I forgot to tell you but my darling girlfriend here has finally decided she's done exploring and so we're back together. I can't be seeing anyone else, we're going to be exclusive now." Your neighbour said, opening his door and pulling you into his apartment. Slamming the door shut the moment you both were through.
"My name's Kelly you asshole." The girl outside yelled, a bang sounding against the door as though she had kicked it making you flinch. The sound of angry stomping footsteps down the hall told you she had finally had enough and left.
"Thank you so much for helping me back there." Gojo said and you turned towards him to find his blue eyes already on you. So bright they were a bit unsettling.
"Um no problem." You said, not thinking it was very polite to point out that you had actually not helped out so much as been dragged around like a ragdoll.
"I'm so sorry about your clothes and your food darling, I can wash those for you if you want."
"Sorry, I do need to clarify, you don't know me." You said, hoping he wasn't actually mistaking you for someone he knew. Considering the many visitors you had seen coming in and out of his apartment it wasn't too unfair to wager he might have lost track of all the faces at some point.
"I know." He said with a blindingly bright smile.
"I can give you something to wear while I throw those in the laundry for you. Order you some food while you wait to make up for ruining your clothes and dinner." Gojo offered and you came to the sad realization that you had blended into the background so well that your neighbour of the past eight months had no idea you lived right next door.
"We're neighbours actually, I live in apartment 610. I'll just go change there." You said, awkwardly pointing towards the direction of your apartment.
"Are we really?" Gojo asked and you nodded.
"Wow you must have just moved in." He continued.
"Not quite, but you have a good night." You said, about to leave before he could drill in any further how very unmemorable you were.
"Can I buy you dinner? To make up for making you drop yours?" Gojo asked and you shook your head, already reaching for his door handle.
"Wait, let me at least pay you for the dry cleaning and food then. You really saved me from what probably would have been an hour minimum more of screaming and crying."
He didn't even wait for you to voice your protests before he ran into his room. Emerging after a moment with a $100 bill in his hand. He grabbed your wrist, putting the bill into your hand and walking you backwards out of his apartment through the door you had opened before you got a chance to tell him it was entirely too much.
"Let me know if you need any help getting around the area, I've been living here for 8 months so I know it quite well." Gojo said, beaming down at you.
"Will do." You muttered, merely nodding as he bid you a goodnight and shut the door in your face. Turning to look at the spilled curry and your shoulders slumping as you realized you would have to clean that. Though you had made $100 so it wasn't all bad. Take out the cost of ordering food delivery to make up for the curry you'd dropped and you still had enough to treat yourself a couple more times than planned for this month.
That day you learned that on top of being a bit arguably promiscuous, your neighbour was also a clueless member of the upper class that didn't know how much dry cleaning and thai takeaway cost. What he was doing in your apartment building was beyond you, but you could only hope you wouldn't run into him again.
Unfortunately that was not the last time you walked right into one of Gojo's breakups. The next time was at the elevator. You had been on your way back from some errands, waiting in the lobby for the elevator to take you and your heavy grocery filled bags up to the eleventh floor.
The doors had opened revealing a girl holding your neighbour by the collar of his shirt. On the tips of her toes to get as close to screaming in his face as she could with him being over a foot taller. His blue eyes landed on you over her head and seemed to light up instantly filling you with trepidation.
"Darling you're here. You should have called, why are you carrying all these heavy bags yourself?" Gojo asked, sidestepping the girl and smoothly swooping to take your bags from you as you stared at him in wide-eyed bewilderment.
"Who is that?" The girl asked, lovely delicate little features twisted into a sneer as she looked at you.
"My muse." Gojo answered dreamily, looking at you in such performative adoration that it gave you the chills.
"That's your muse?" The girl asked and you couldn't blame her. You weren't exactly the picture of a muse on your best day but today was errand day so you were really slumming it as you tried to get through your chores to enjoy your evening.
"Yes, this is my darling muse so I am unfortunately quite unavailable for a relationship as I will be devoting all my time to this beauty. I wish you all the best." Gojo said, wrapping his free arm around your waist and tugging you back onto the elevator. Making a big show of leaning down to nuzzle your head and it was all you could do not to grimace.
"You smell very good." He mumbled against your head as the elevator doors shut and you leaped away from him.
"Thank you, I shower." You responded, reaching out to grab your bags back from him as he huffed out a little laugh. Holding the bags out of reach making you glance up at him in annoyance.
Now you may not have been the typical image of a muse, but there was no denying you were cute. Big, pretty eyes narrowed at him. Swimming in your oversized sweater and letting out a huff of annoyance as you failed to retrieve your groceries. You had felt all soft against him too like you'd feel great to cuddle. Not to mention it was kind to let him use you for the second time to escape someone who got overly clingy.
"Have you eaten yet?" Gojo asked, he had initially been planning to eat with the girl who'd just left but then she'd started talking about how she was hoping to score the Givenchy ad and he had decided it was time to call it quits.
"No." You responded, looking confused as to why he would ask.
"Great, let me buy you dinner to show my gratitude for you saving me yet again."
"There's really no need. Both times I've just sort of stood there while you mislead some very pretty girls into believing you're taken, by me."
"You could have walked away but you didn't. I owe you, let me treat you to whatever you want. Or I can choose since you're new to the area." He said making you sigh.
"I've got leftovers, thanks though."
"Great, you can feed me." Gojo said, stalking off down the hall as the elevator doors opened leaving you staring after him in shock.
"It's not really enough for two since I wasn't expecting a guest." You said, hurrying after him.
"No worries, I eat like a bird." He responded, standing expectantly outside your door, still holding your grocery bags.
Gojo Satoru did not in fact eat like a bird, unless the bird in question was the dinosaur that birds were said to be descendants of. He ate most of the stew you had made yesterday and intended to freeze so you could get some more meals out of it. You'd even had to make more rice when he asked for another bowl after finishing his second helping.
You'd learned over your mostly one-sided conversation with him over dinner that he was a photographer. Quite a nit-picky one by the sounds of it since he claimed he only photographed people and things of interest to him. That had earned him a reputation in the industry as having a discerning eye for rising stars which was why a lot of models approached him.
Suddenly all the beautiful people constantly coming and going from his apartment made sense.
"I don't like being used though. I make it crystal clear from the start that I don't mix my personal life with my work but they always end up wanting me to either include them in my next work or wanting a referral. Some want a relationship but I don't really do those either." Gojo said, finding a bag of candy amongst the groceries you had yet to put away and pulling it out of the bag.
"Mind if I open this?" He asked and you shook your head. You had enough manners not to deny guests food in your house.
You watched him eat your candy thinking about what different lives you led. While you were just your average employed person trying to keep up with all the chores and dreaming about having savings, this man from a whole different world lived right next to you. A world in which beauty was so plentiful that it had to be accompanied by something else to make it interesting. Where he had no idea how much dry-cleaning cost and could invite himself over without the slightest fear of rejection.
"You come from a rich family don't you?" You asked unthinkingly, voice coloured with so much disdain and the question so unexpected when you had been mostly quiet that Gojo nearly choked on the candy he had just popped into his mouth. Barking out a loud laugh that startled you back into basic decency.
"Oh sorry, that wasn't very polite of me to ask. You don't have to answer that." You reassured but Gojo waved you off.
"Is it that obvious?" He asked with a grin and you gave a little nod, unable to lie so blatantly.
"My dad owns a popular clothing brand. He wanted me to take over the company and I just wanted to disappoint him, hence photography." Gojo said and you nodded as though that made any sense to you. Being handed down a successful brand but instead too caught up in rebellion to take the opportunity.
"I would have become a painter but I'm terrible at it. Photography comes a little easier to me." He said and you nodded, unsure how to respond to that.
"I can't remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal. You're a great cook." Gojo complimented, leaning back and placing a hand on his somehow still perfectly flat stomach. Sometimes you thought people like him defied the laws of nature. Simply too perfect for things like bloating or acne.
"Thanks." You muttered, trying your best at a smile despite the envious turn your thoughts had taken but it didn't seem like you quite succeeded when Gojo barked out another laugh, startling you.
"You really can't hide your emotions, can you?" He asked, grinning broadly at you. Blue eyes positively sparkling with mirth only making you feel more lackluster in comparison and desperate to get this otherworldly perfect creature out of your apartment.
"I've been told I'm not great at it." You responded.
"By who? A boyfriend?" He asked, the grin falling from his face into a little smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"No, my boss. She says I need to keep control of my expressions when I get difficult customers."
"That's strange, I didn't take you for someone who would be working with people."
"I didn't think I would be but I'm the most junior member of the library so I don't get to choose my station. If they want me at the front then I've gotta be there."
"You're a librarian?" He asked as though it was the best news he had ever heard and you could only nod in the face of such enthusiasm.
"So you like to read?"
"I do." You said and he nodded his head along in agreement.
"I used to like to read but don't much have the patience for it anymore. Bring a book for me sometime, anything you like. I want to get back into reading." He said and you nodded though you had no intention of ever giving Gojo a library book even if it wasn't under your account. You had a strong feeling that the library would never see that book again.
You failed to stifle a yawn and Gojo got to his feet, carrying his bowl over to the sink and rinsing it off before setting it inside.
"You seem tired, I'll head out."
You walked him out, dutifully following behind though it was your apartment. Gojo Satoru was just one of those people that could enter a space and make it seem like it belonged to them. He swung open the door but turned in the doorway making you stumble back a step since you had been expecting him to walk out.
"Your apartment is very well-furnished for someone who just moved in." He said and you had to suppress the urge to roll your eyes by pressing your lips together into a thin line, calling upon all your patience to end this impromptu dinner party.
"Next time you gotta let me buy you dinner to thank you for the meal and helping me out of a tight spot twice now."
You only nodded again, willing to assent to anything as long as it got him out of your apartment with all his sparkling splendor. Sure he would probably not recognize you by next week.
"Well nighty night neighbour." He said, sauntering over to his apartment and just pushing the door open. There was apparently no need to lock his door since clearly people like him were even above getting robbed, but that was your last straw. You shut your door and locked it immediately in case he decided to come back for any reason.
That night there were no noises and you slept peacefully. Hoping you would never have to be involved in a breakup that wasn't yours again.
However it seemed the universe was not aligned with that. The incident repeated itself over and over. Suddenly it was like a week couldn't go by without you walking in on one of his breakups. At the mailbox, at the emergency exit, in front of the elevator, then in front of the stairs when you decided to take those to avoid him.
Every time his blue eyes would light up when they laid on you. He'd tell the girl you were his girlfriend that had just decided to give him another chance taking him conveniently off the market. To his credit, though he let them yell and berate him as they wanted, but didn't take it sitting when any of them turned on you. Looming over them with the easy smile dropping from his face as he told them he thought it best they left.
Though that terrifying expression had never been levelled at you, it made you quite determined to never get on his bad side. Afterwards he would either offer to treat you to dinner, or as you soon learned would follow you to your apartment and eat your dinner if you refused. After the third time of watching him wolf down your food like he'd never been fed before, you stopped denying his offers to buy you a meal.
Each time he would talk non-stop and force you to talk too. Letting out those loud barks of laughter that you had come to associate with him even while in the midst of quiet restaurants. When people turned to look at the noise they'd seem to positively melt when they saw where the laugh had come from. Smiling along dopily as though it was incredibly sweet instead of disruptive just because of the way he looked.
Your sour expression would only serve to further amuse him. There was free food though, good food at that so you tolerated it. It was also only fair that you got compensated somehow for being used by him to get rid of the pretty models after him for one thing or another.
After a long week of work and a particularly bad Gojo breakup where the girl had burst into fits of tears and you had been forced to stand by while Gojo tried to console her and make her go away at the same time, you were quite looking forward to the weekend. So when a knock came at your door after you had changed into your pajamas, you were not eager to open it and instead sank lower onto your couch and held your breath so they would hopefully assume no one was home.
"I saw you come in, open up darling." You heard the now familiar voice say and you sighed, praying to any gods listening to move one of you before you rose to answer the door.
There stood Gojo Satoru in a pair of grey sweatpants and a black hoodie, holding two boxes of pizza and two pints of ice cream balanced overtop.
"Are you not even going to let her eat before you break up with her?" You asked, this was cruelty you couldn't simply stand by and allow to happen. If you were promised pizza and ice cream and instead someone broke up with you making you leave single and hungry you'd be devastated.
"Break up with who?" Gojo asked.
"The girl I'm guessing is either in your apartment or about to come over." You clarified.
"No silly, there's no girl. This is for us. I thought we'd watch a movie and eat pizza and ice cream. You're not working tomorrow right?" Gojo said, walking right past you into your apartment leaving you blinking at the empty space where he stood trying to process what was happening.
"Did you call her over to see us here?" You asked following him in and watching as he set the food down on your coffee table, plugging the ice cream into your freezer and getting out plates as though he were the one who lived here.
"Call who over? There's no girl as I told you. I just came over to hang out with my pal. You're not working tomorrow so I thought it would be okay if we stayed up late and watched movies." He said, in theory the words made sense but coming from your gorgeous, air-brushed in real life big-shot of a photographer neighbour they were practically gibberish.
"How do you know I'm not working tomorrow?" You asked, choosing to tackle the statement little by little as your third-grade teacher had taught you when faced with complex problems. She'd been talking about math word problems but you applied that wisdom liberally.
"You told me you work alternating Saturdays and you worked last Saturday which means you're not working this Saturday unless Jeanine hoodwinked you into covering her shift again. You swore last time though that would be the last time you switched with her so I'm choosing to have faith in you."
"So you're just here to eat pizza and watch movies?" You asked.
"And ice cream, don't forget about that." Gojo chimed, walking past you to take a seat on your couch and turning on the TV.
"Mind if I choose the movie? I've been wanting to watch this one. Everyone says it's terrible." Gojo said and you could only mumble out a yes.
"Come sit." He said, patting the spot next to him and you followed his orders. Fully expecting a gorgeous young woman to throw your door open any moment, storming in and calling you a home-wrecking good for nothing curse word. It took you robotically nibbling on 3 slices and only making faint humming noises as Gojo talked incessantly over the movie before it sank in that Gojo Satoru really had come over just to watch a movie with you.
Why he chose to hangout with you on a Friday night was beyond you but you weren't rude enough to ask him to leave and he had brought over pizza and excellent ice cream. Though you did have to slap his hand away more than once when he tried to sneak his spoon into yours to steal your cookie dough pieces.
When you were both done he shivered at the cold ice cream and demanded a blanket which once brought to him he rudely curled into all by himself and then plunked his head down into your lap. You froze looking down at him. He had on occasion put an arm around your shoulder or waist or held your hand as he fake-professed his undying love for you before the women he was breaking up with but he'd never touched you when you were both alone.
It wasn't really inappropriate but there was an odd intimacy to the act of resting your head on someone's lap that had taken you aback. You guessed he was just used to being overly familiar with people in his line of work.
Of course not only was he inconsiderate to hog your blanket and use your thighs as a head rest, but he also had the audacity to fall asleep on you as the sequel of the terrible movie he'd chosen played out on the screen with the remote out of your reach.
You sighed, wondering if you should just push him off but your good manners and fear of his wrath kept you from doing so. Once the movie was over and the credits began to play and you really needed to get to the remote you tried shifting his head but he only turned over to face you. Wrapping an arm around your waist and digging his face into your stomach. Effectively rendering you incapable of moving him or yourself.
You sighed, resolved to never answer the door again regardless of who was knocking as you sat through the third movie in this series that never should have been created.
You were almost asleep yourself, head lolling and each time you'd be on the brink of sleep you'd be woken by the motion of your head falling forwards. On one such occasion you jolted out of sleep just as a terrible sound echoed out of the TV making you jump and waking the member of the bourgeoise asleep on top of you.
He rose with a low groan, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and stretching out his arms making the muscles flex and revealing a pale strip on his toned, muscled torso making you wish you had pushed him off of you when you had the chance. Blue eyes opening slowly and a slow smile blooming on his lips as they laid on you.
"You're so comfortable." He muttered, positively latching onto you as though you were a stuffed animal.
You pushed at his rock-solid shoulder, trying to get him off of you but he sleepily bargained for five more minutes and rested his head over yours. Near smothering you in his overly large pecs making you grimace.
"Off now." You demanded and he pulled back with a pout, expression turning sheepish as you got unsteadily to your feet and glared at him when your legs felt like they had pins and needles going down them.
"You sleep like the dead." You muttered, smacking your fists into your legs to rid them of the odd feeling.
"I usually have a lot of trouble sleeping. I can't remember the last time I had a nap." He said and you scoffed making him looking at you with an innocent puzzled expression which combined with his sleep rumpled hair and clothes made you feel a bit like a sardonic old hag.
"You really expect me to believe you don't sleep well when you're constantly that fresh-faced and don't even have to seem under-eyes?"
"Good genetics I guess." He responded making your lip curl in hatred. You could sleep ten hours a night and still have bags from the sleep deficit you had accumulated while getting your undergrad. He breathed out a soft laugh, apparently a little less brash and loud when he had just woken up.
"You should go home and go to sleep, it's late." You said.
"Can't I sleepover?" He asked, widening his eyes in a surprisingly effective puppy-dog look for a man that was well over 6 feet and built with pure muscle.
"You live next door, your room is almost just as close as mine is. Why on earth would you sleepover?"
"Then you sleepover." He said, laughing when he caught the grossed out look on your face as you were all too aware of the things that happened on the surfaces of his apartment.
"I change my sheets regularly." He said.
"No one needs to sleepover, we live next door to each other. Movie night is over, back to your apartment with you." You said, motioning him out the way you imagined sheep were herded though you had little idea of how that was done and clearly you were not good at it considering the 6 foot sheep before you was decidedly un-herded.
"But I slept so well with you." He complained.
You merely motioned to the door again and he sighed, getting up to his feet. He was nearly all the way out when he suddenly turned back.
"Wait, what if I promise to buy you breakfast?" He asked.
"I cannot be persuaded with food to let you sleepover." You said, watching his shoulders slump and he turned back to head out. Giving you the puppy eyes until the moment you shut the door on him in the hopes he would be let back in.
Unfortunately that too became a regular occurrence. On Friday or Saturday, depending on whether you were working that Saturday or not, he'd bring over some form of takeout, two pints of ice cream and want to watch some horrible movie. He'd talk over the entire thing while you both ate, try to steal from your pint of ice cream and then eventually fall asleep with at least one limb on you in some way.
The breakups became more infrequent as did the noises until they stopped altogether. Soon he was showing up on other weekdays too with takeout or hurrying after you into the elevator in the morning just to tell you to cook for two in the evening since he'd be joining you.
You didn't understand why someone like him was spending so much time with you. Annoying as he was due to his impossible physical perfection, lack of understanding of how to be economical due to his being born into the upper-class, and the audacity he showed just constantly inviting himself in, he grew on you. He was admittedly fun to be around.
Things would have continued like that for god knows how long had it not been for the book club the library had forced you to lead. It was to attract more patrons to the library and since none of the other librarians wanted to lead a club taking place on Friday evenings, you were forced into it.
The group that turned up for the first one was the most mismatched group of people you had ever seen. An elderly woman who often told stories of her grandkids that lived in another country where her son had moved his family for a job. Two very giggly teenage girls who seemed as though they were laughing at everyone at first but eventually you realized were just giggling to cover up their own nerves. A middle aged man who seemed like he just did not wish to go home to his family. An accountant that was trying to branch out her reading materials from non-fiction finance related books. And lastly a young man that was new to the country and trying to learn the language through books and tv shows.
The club met weekly and though the first couple meetings were very rough with you struggling to lead and steer the conversation, eventually you all settled into a rhythm. The elderly woman related every topic to her son's family somehow, the teenage girls giggled at all delicate topics, the middle aged man rarely spoke but listened avidly and the accountant was highly opinionated on fictional characters and events. The foreign young man tried his best to contribute to the conversation and you all helped him along while he looked for his words.
Soon you even began looking forward to book club. Gojo wasn't a fan of it, it meant you were always busy on Fridays. He looked forward to unwinding with you after a long work week where no one could really inspire him. His thoughts on your bright eyes, transparent expressions and begrudging honest comments even as he worked with the most beautiful people and obscenely expensive items.
To hear you rave about these other people bothered him in a way he hadn't thought possible. He had never been the jealous type. Not eager to get into a relationship, he didn't mind when the people he slept with dated or fucked others. For some reason though with you even the thought of others getting to look into those pretty eyes or hear those sarcastic little quips you made had his stomach turning and skin crawling.
He hated how emotionally invested you seemed to be in each and every one of them. So sad for the old lady who missed her grandkids, sympathetic towards the teen girls struggling to become comfortable in their own skin. Understanding for the man who seemed to have built a life based on societal expectations that he wasn't built for and in awe of the accountant's unexpected passion. Inspired by the foreign young man's courage to uproot his whole life and move to a new place.
So many emotions he hadn't been able to inspire in you yet you made him feel things he hadn't even thought possible. Hadn't known how much he longed for the comfort and stability you represented. The calm of your easy, ordinary life. How much joy could be found in just regular activities like sharing a meal or watching a movie. The fire of jealousy that could threaten to burn through all of his being and spread to the world around him when you turned your gaze elsewhere.
"Have you told them about me?" He asked suddenly, cutting you off mid-sentence as you talked about how excited you were for them all to read the next book.
"Tell them about you? Why would I tell them about my neighbour?" You asked, confused where that question had come from. Not understanding why the bright blue of Gojo's eyes seemed to turn to steel. All warmth and light draining from them until they reminded you of the chilling endless depths of the ocean.
"I'm not just your neighbour, am I?" Gojo asked, plastering a grin back on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"No, loathe as I am to admit it, I guess we are friends." You said, hoping the teasing would diffuse the sudden tension you felt in the room.
"Friends." He repeated as though testing out the word.
"Doesn't quite seem like enough." He mused after a moment.
Your brows furrowed and you used the palms you had resting down next to your folded legs to shuffle away from him slightly. His eyes flickering down to the movement making you pause. Of course you were just being silly, you had to be misinterpreting where this was heading. People like Gojo didn't think of people like you romantically. He could have models and celebrities. He couldn't possibly be into you in that way.
"Okay what would you call me then?" You asked, hoping fervently this was all one of his stupid jokes and he would say something rude and start laughing.
"Mine. I'd call you mine." Gojo responded, blue eyes taking in the frown on your face and realizing how ignorant you were to what was between the both of you. Sweet, innocent you that didn't even realize how special what the both of you had was. Gojo would have to show you.
"I don't know if things are different in the rich people world but for us regular people you can't own anyone and saying someone is yours usually implies you're in a relationship."
You didn't wait for his response, reaching for your glass, about to use getting a refill as an excuse to walk away but he latched onto your outstretched wrist. Your breath getting caught in a gasp as he pulled you into him.
"I know what it means darling. You belong to me, just as I belong to you. There's no one I've ever felt so comfortable with, no one whose felt like home before. I know you feel it too, no one has ever made you feel this way, have they?" He asked, hand coming up to cup your cheek. Stilling as you flinched away from the touch.
"I think you're mistaking friendship for something else Gojo." You started, words tumbling out as you struggled to make sense of the situation.
"You're rich and famous so people around you are probably constantly putting up a facade and you're not used to regular friendship. You're just confused." You said, sounding like you were trying to convince yourself more than him.
His hand trailed to the back of your head, angling your face up and lips crashing down on yours before you could understand what was happening. Your froze, your brain unable to compute how a friendly movie night had gone from discussing your work week to this.
His soft lips moved gently against yours, trying to coax you into kissing him back. Tongue darting out to lick over your unresponsive lips and a groan escaping him as he finally got a taste of the mouth he'd been fantasizing of for so long. The sound knocking you out of your shocked state and you pushed against his chest. The unexpected move forcing him to break apart but he instantly leaned down again making you call his name sharply.
Blue eyes flicked up from your lips to meet your gaze. Straightening up at the confusion and outrage he saw. No one had ever reacted to him like that before. Normally others came onto him and yet here you were seemingly very offended by him kissing you.
"You can't just kiss someone out of nowhere." You muttered, wiping at your mouth with your sleeve.
"I'll give you a warning next time, I'm going to kiss you again." He said, swooping back towards your lips but you cupped your hand over his mouth. Pretty eyes widening in surprise and your shoulders tensed up as though bracing yourself against an attack.
He frowned for a moment before his entire body melted as he realized what was going on, it was lack of experience. Shy, innocent you probably weren't used to physical affection the way he was. You'd never mentioned an ex, this was all new for you. He had to take it slow to avoid scaring you off. He pressed a kiss to the hand over your mouth, laughing breathily as you pulled away instantly.
"You can't kiss me." You warned, taking in a slow deep breath. Your shoulders slumping as you let it out and you swallowed nervously as though about to share some terrible news. A product of nerves he was sure, to someone inexperienced even a confession could be a frightening thing.
"I'm sorry Gojo, I don't really see you that way. I thought we were friends but if I've misled you in some way then I apologize. I don't really sleep around." You said.
"Oh darling is that what you think this is? I don't just want to sleep with you, I love you. I want to be with you always." Gojo said making your stomach fall.
"I don't understand." You mumbled. He had never given you any indication that he had romantic feelings for you. As far as you knew he wasn't capable of romantic feelings. All he did was sleep around and then kick them to the curb if they got clingy.
"Are you saying all of this to get me to sleep with you?" You asked and he shook his head immediately.
"How many times do I have to say it darling? I'm not just looking to sleep with you. Though I won't lie, I do want to but it's not just that. I want to be in a relationship with you." He clarified and try as you might even you couldn't interpret that to be anything but what he had said.
"Oh." You mumbled.
"Oh." He repeated with a laugh, cupping your face in his hands and leaning in as though about to kiss you again but you held your hand up between you again. Pulling back out of his hold making his smile drop a bit.
"Too fast?" He asked and you shook your head unthinkingly before nodding it, trying to find the right words so you wouldn't come across as cruel. You hadn't been lying, Gojo had become a friend to you. One whose feelings you didn't want to hurt.
"Gojo I've never really seen you that way and I'm not looking for a relationship so please don't take this the wrong way but I can't return your feelings. I'm so sorry." You said softly, watching as his smile dropped away entirely. Something unreadable in those eyes when you mustered up the courage to look into them, dropping your gaze again immediately.
"I get it, that's okay. We can be friends if that's all you can give for now. Once you're ready we can try for more." He said and though that hadn't really been what you meant you really didn't have the heart to shoot him down again.
"Sh-should I get out the ice cream now?" You asked, eager to change the topic and pretend that whole conversation had never happened.
"Sure." He answered, lips tipping up into a smile though his eyes still had that indecipherable look to them that filled you with the odd urge to get away.
The rest of the night was filled with an odd tension that had your chest filling with relief when Gojo finally bid you goodnight, as guilty as that made you feel. You worried that things between the two of you would never be the same and prepared yourself for the awkwardness that was sure to follow.
It was as though all he needed was to sleep off that conversation. From the next day everything returned back to normal between the both of you as though the confession and kiss had never happened. Though you sometimes felt like you'd see a flash of something akin to hunger in his eyes when he looked at you but he'd blink and it would be gone making you think you were only imagining things.
You couldn't help the way you got a little self conscious now when he rested his head on your lap or strung his arm over your waist while laying sprawled on your couch during a movie night. Before you hadn't thought much of it but refused to say anything because that would mean bringing up that whole conversation you wanted to leave buried in the past. It was just Gojo being Gojo you tried to convince yourself.
As you would soon learn you shouldn't have allowed him continued access to you after learning of his true feelings. Had you known then you would have been firmer in your rejection, leaving no false hope that would ultimately be your ruin.
The book club and its members became an engrained part of your routine. Adding more people to your isolated little world. Meetings that you looked forward to weekly as you became even more familiar with each of the members and you all opened up to one another. Sharing things about your lives and even sometimes planning to grab a bite after the book club meeting. You'd take a late lunch those days and glad to see the community initiative a success, your boss let you.
When the young man started turning up at the library outside of book club to borrow books, you were all too willing to recommend similar books to his favourites from the meetings. Finding some upon his request that would help him improve his language skills as well. He'd come up to you periodically to ask the pronunciation or meaning of words he didn't know which in the age of the internet others might have considered a hint but not you.
It caught you off guard when he asked you out to coffee, alone without the rest of the book club as he'd clarified. There was something about him that you had always found charming and so you agreed.
He asked you to meet at some fancy little coffee shop just a couple streets down from the library you'd never been to before. Looking so pleased when you showed up that you couldn't help but return his smile. Setting your first date nerves at ease by talking about the club's book of the week and then sounding genuinely interested as he asked you questions about your life, boring as it was.
When you heard your name called you turned around with a smile still on your lips from the lingering laughter at an off-handed comment your date had made at your boss' expense but it fell immediately as your eyes connected with a blue pair alight with fury. Flinching back as he stormed over to you, eyes flickering from you to where your date had rested his hand on top of yours. You pulled yours back like you had been burned. Glancing over at the gorgeous young woman who stood next to him, clearly another model who was busy scrolling on her phone and didn't pay the three of you any mind.
"What are you doing here darling?" Gojo asked and you looked at your date quickly who was looking very confusedly between Gojo and you.
"How do you two know each other?" Your date asked.
"He's my neighbour." You clarified quickly, knowing he had probably misunderstood the term of endearment Gojo liked to throw around with you.
"I think we're much more than that, aren't we darling?" Gojo asked, eyes daring you to contradict him.
"W-we're also friends." You explained.
"Now back to my question, what are you crazy kids doing here?"
"We are on - uh how do you say" Your date started, struggling to find the word and for the first time you made no attempt to help him.
"Date!" He exclaimed suddenly and you felt like your stomach had fallen out as you risked a glance up at Gojo to see the polite smile had fallen and he looked positively livid. Blue eyes blazing with outrage turned to you accusingly, jaw clenched so tightly it looked painful and veins beneath his flawless pale skin standing out prominently.
"How lovely, ready to date now are you?" Gojo asked and you shook your head instantly.
"I hate to be rude but you'll have to excuse us. Our apartment building is on fire so my neighbour here and I have to go." Gojo said, stooping down and snatching your wrist. Pulling you up to your feet and dropping the strap of your bag onto your shoulder. Completely ignoring the confused outbursts of both your date and the model that had accompanied him as he dragged you out of the cafe.
"I'm so sorry, I'll see you on Friday." You called out to your date not wanting to make a scene here. Getting yanked forward again and nearly tripping but managing to straighten and catch yourself.
Gojo herded you past the door, leading you to his sleek back car parked right outside the cafe and pushing you down into it the moment he got the door open.
"Gojo you had no right-" You started but were cut off as he swooped down so you were both face to face.
"Don't you say even a single fucking word right now or I may just go back in there and break every finger on that fucker's hand for touching what's mine."
"What?" You asked taken aback by the sudden aggression.
"I don't think I ever mentioned this but I really fucking hate being lied to and I've got a bit of a temper problem so it's in your best interest to let me drive off or your date is going to be the one suffering my wrath."
You shut your mouth instantly, something about his expression telling you that he wasn't bluffing and you didn't want your poor date to be hurt because of you. He finally slammed the door shut making you jump and rounded to the other side, getting in and reaching for you. You couldn't help the way you flinched back making him let out a slow exhale through his nose as he grabbed your seatbelt and clicked it into the buckle.
"I may have a temper but I'd never hurt you." He said solemnly, turning his gaze forward as he pulled out into the street, narrowly avoiding crashing into a car in that lane but you didn't dare say a word. The car filled with a suffocating tension for the short drive to your building.
The moment he parked you got out, walking ahead and hearing him follow you closely. Incredibly grateful for a young mother who got into the same elevator as the both of you with her two children so you weren't alone. Making up your mind then that you didn't want to discuss any of this with him right now.
His anger and threat had frightened you and you were in no rush to be alone with him while he was like this, it was probably best to let him cool off first. He was way out of left field for what he had done but you didn't think you'd be able to tell him that right now.
When you got off on your floor you walked to your apartment. Subtly finding your key in your bag, you turned to face him.
"Gojo I think you should take some time to cool off, we'll talk about this later." You said, turning back to unlock your door but before you could even put your key into the lock you were being turned back and lifted.
He held you up over his shoulder like you were a sack of potatoes as he passed your door to his own. Completely ignoring your cries for him to put you down as he unlocked his door and slammed it shut with a kick as he walked in. Depositing you down onto an armchair and instantly caging you in by placing a hand on either side.
"Now why don't you start by telling me why you were on a date with that fucker when you told me you weren't ready for a relationship."
"I really don't think I owe you anything after the way you've acted." You said, tugging down your clothing so it was all in place after being tossed about like an object.
"I held back, I didn't even say anything to that bastard for you. I went back to being your friend because you said you weren't ready for more and now I catch you out on a date with some asshole. It's my fault for trying to be so patient and understanding. I should have made it clear that you belong to me from the start to avoid all this confusion."
"I don't belong to anyone. I was trying to turn you down kindly, it's not my fault you misunderstood. No means no regardless of the reasoning someone provides. I don't see you that way and frankly after this I don't even see you as a friend." You stated firmly, breathing a little accelerated from how angry you were at the audacity he had shown. Forcefully taking you from your date and manhandling you, telling you that you belonged to him.
"See darling, now that's where you're mistaken." He said, lips twisting into a cruel smile, lifting his hand to trail his fingers gently along your bottom lip. Catching your jaw in his grasp as you angrily tried to turn your head away from his touch and leaning in until his nose nearly touched yours. Breath wafting over your lips as he greedily inhaled the air you exhaled.
"You are mine. If I ever see another man laying a hand on what is mine I will break every bone in his hand as you watch. It's a good thing you don't see me as a friend anymore, since you're ready to date I should be much more than that."
"You're nothing to me." You snarled, pushing at his touch but he caught your hand in his.
"Is this the hand he touched?" Gojo asked, wrapping his own around your hand as though trying to erase the evidence of anyone else's touch from your skin.
Your hand trembled in his, only now noticing how much freakishly larger his was compared to your own. The threats of breaking hands all too fresh for you to be comfortable with him holding yours.
"Where else has that fucker touched you?" Gojo asked.
"Get off of me before I scream." You threatened, voice wavering slightly even as you tried to keep it steady.
"Darling I think you know it's not uncommon for anyone to hear screams coming from this apartment, and other than you no one's ever been bothered by it so go ahead, scream for me." He said making you gulp.
"HELP." You screamed out, his hand coming up to trail across your lips again as he shushed you.
"See? No one's coming. Most of these apartments are soundproofed except that one wall adjoining our two apartments which they seem to have missed. No one can hear you." He said and for the first time you felt truly afraid of him. Realizing that you were trapped in his apartment with him while he was so much faster and larger than you.
"Tell me darling, did you let him kiss you?" He asked, brushing his thumb back and forth over your bottom lip forcing your lips to part.
"Gojo get off of me, you're taking this too far." You warned.
"I will if you answer my question."
"No." You mumbled honestly and he breathed out a sigh of relief, true to his word backing up and getting up on his feet but still standing over you.
"Good, you can't go letting other guys touch you when you're mine. I'll let what happened today go as a misunderstanding because I hadn't spelled things out for you and you can be so oblivious, but if I ever catch him or any other guy lurking near you again, I will kill them."
You stared up at him with wide eyes, feeling truly afraid of the man you'd considered a friend for the first time in your life. Heart pounding in your chest as your eyes darted over his shoulder to the door that seemed all too far away with his giant figure looming over you.
"Tell me you understand darling." He instructed and you gave a quick nod of your head.
The rage melted away from his face and all tenseness seemed to drain out of his body. He leaned down, pecking your lips quickly. Smiling as he pulled away.
"Should I make us something or should we order in?" He asked.
"I'm not hungry, I should go." You said, pushing up from the armchair but pinned in place when he narrowed those otherworldly blue eyes down at you.
"You're not trying to run away, are you? I really do want to believe you meant what you said about being mine but if you leave like this I'll have no choice but to assume it was just to get away."
"No I-I just have some stuff to do around the house." You said.
"Well surely you can spare some time to eat lunch."
"I already ate." You said, regretting the words the moment they were out of your mouth when you saw his jaw clench and nostrils flare.
"Yeah? How long exactly was this date of yours?" He asked, leaning down and resting his hand on the arm of your chair again.
"I had a sandwich before I went out." You said quickly.
It was the truth, the coffee date was at lunch time so you'd had a quick bite beforehand. Truthfully though it was half a sandwich leftover from your lunch the day before but Gojo didn't need to know that. After all that had happened your appetite was gone anyway.
"Oh you do make good sandwiches." He said with a little laugh of relief and you wondered how you had spent all that time with him and not noticed that he was absolutely insane.
"S-sorry I didn't think we would be meeting today or I would have made you one too." You said, eager to pretend everything was normal if that increased your chances at getting out of here.
"Always so sweet." He muttered, leaning down and pressing another kiss to your lips.
"What a lucky guy I am." He said softly, trailing the back of his hand reverently along your jaw. Noticing the way your breath hitched and allowing himself to believe it was just you being shy.
"Fuck I'm sorry, I know you're new to this and I need to take it slow but you are so fucking tempting. I could just eat you up." He said, hands squeezing at your waist making you let out an unwilling squeal.
"Gojo I really do-"You started but were cutoff by him.
"It's Satoru to you darling, we're dating now. You should call me by my first name." He said and you stared at him blankly a moment before giving a short nod.
"Right, well I should go." You tried again.
"Not until I hear you say my name."
"Satoru I need to go." You said, cutting yourself short when he groaned and dropped his head down onto your shoulder.
"My name sounds so good coming from you. Call me Toru." He demanded, lifting his head to see the affronted look on your face at him going back on his word so easily.
"Come on, just say it once and then I promise you can go."
"Toru." You said hesitantly and he dropped his head down so you couldn't see his face.
"Fuck." He muttered quietly and it was all the warning you got before he was pouncing on you. One hand wrapping around the back of your neck and other on your waist as he pulled you up into him. Lips crashing down onto yours and taking your gasp of surprise as an opportunity to drive his tongue into your mouth. Kissing you fiercely with his hands grabbing and groping at any soft flesh within reach as he pulled you in closer.
Your hands flailed a moment before you got your wits together and started pushing at his broad shoulders, protests muffled by his mouth. He pulled back only giving you enough time to drag in a much needed breath before he was on you again. The new angle allowing him to kiss you much deeper, a deep moan rumbling up from his chest at the taste and feel of you under him. Crowding you up on that armchair until you had nowhere to go by resting his knee down on the seat between your legs.
"Gojo!" You screamed when he pulled back just a fraction again.
Slamming your hands against his chest and he paused, staring down at you as both of you panted. Your lips glistening with your combined saliva from the messy kiss you had just shared.
He didn't think he had ever wanted anything more than he wanted you in that moment. He physically ached for you, painfully hard cock that was throbbing in need pressing up against the zip of his pants. Hands yearning to feel all your soft, pliant flesh beneath his palms and mouth salivating to taste every inch of you.
"You said you would take it slow, you promised to let me leave." You said while still panting for air. For a moment there you had really felt like he was going to devour you.
No one had ever kissed you like that before. His passion was all consuming and frightening. You never wanted to experience something like that again.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said, hands flexing against the head of the armchair as he fought to regain control and force himself away from you. It took every ounce of will power he possessed and the mental reminder that you deserved for things to be taken slow with you. To be courted and wooed before he would finally get to have you. A little patience and then he would have you for life because he was never letting you go.
The moment he eased back you flew up to your feet. Grabbing your bag and holding it protectively against your chest as though that would really act as some sort of deterrent if he came onto you again. Your wrist was caught as you moved past him and you glanced back with big frightened eyes making his grasp soften.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked and you forced yourself to nod. Anything to be let out of that apartment in that moment.
"Okay." He said and you gave a little tug at your wrist when he didn't let you go.
"God, I don't want to let you go but I did promise. Go now before I lose the willpower to let you leave this apartment." He said and you pulled your wrist forcefully out of his loose hold, scampering for the door.
Breaking his heart a little when you didn't even look back once as you slammed the door shut behind you but what did those little things matter when you were finally his. No last parting looks were necessary since you were going to be together forever now. It was only a matter of time before he would bring up living together and then he'd never have to let you go back to your apartment.
The moment you got back to your apartment you locked the door. Doing up the chain lock too though despite it you still felt hunted. You had this unshakable feeling that he was going to come after you and you needed to put as much obstacles in his path as you could. Like he would snatch you up even while you were behind the locked door of your apartment. The man you had considered a friend now just a monster out to get you.
The tears came then as you sank down against your door. A lump forming in your throat and eyes burning as you swiped the back of your hand over your mouth. Trying to erase his touch.
You weren't under any delusions that there was some easy way out of this. No one in their right mind would believe someone like Gojo Satoru had forced himself on you, dragged you to his apartment unwillingly and kept you there until you agreed to be his partner. There was no proof to go to the police with.
It wasn't necessarily that you wanted him punished, it was more that you wanted nothing to do with him. Cowardly as it was, all you wanted was to never have to see him again, to be free of him. The monster you had unknowingly invited in.
You rested your head in your hands as you let the tears escape. Biting into your sleeve to muffle your sobs so he wouldn't hear through that dreaded adjoining wall and come to investigate.
When your chest started to feel just the tiniest bit lighter, you wiped your tears and rose to your feet. There was no use in sitting there crying. You'd never be rid of him if you didn't do something. You had to move away. Luckily, you were only renting the apartment so all you would lose was the security deposit for not giving enough notice.
You were so desperate you wouldn't even be picky. First apartment you found within your budget you'd sign the agreement. It shouldn't take longer than a week or two and then you'd never have to see him again. Never have those unnerving blue eyes on you or feel those giant hands that pinned you so easily.
Sleep evaded you and instead you used the time to look into apartments. There was a branch of your library located on the other side of the city, but that felt too obvious. You would have to quit and survive for a bit on your meager savings until you found another job.
You'd call in sick for your next shift and go see those apartments, get a storage room to start slowly moving out your stuff without Gojo noticing. Despite how drastic it was, all of that was simple enough but the idea of having to put up an act in front of Gojo for the meantime was what scared you. If you wanted your plan to work, you would have to keep him from suspecting you.
Those two weeks passed with extreme difficulty. It felt like all your hair would fall out from the stress of it all. Moving your entire life in a matter of weeks was not easy but pretending you were willing to be with Gojo was the hardest part. Forcing yourself not to flinch when he reached for you, to not look away from the obsession you now saw gleaming in the depths of his eyes. To nod and listen and respond at appropriate intervals even when your mind was miles away.
It was a lucky thing that he was suddenly so busy with work. Unable to spend nearly as much time as he would have liked with you. If you were forced to be around him constantly then surely you would have given yourself away.
Gojo had never been happier. It was like he had merely been surviving before you came into his life and showed him what true contentedness and meaning were. Filled his life with purpose and joy. He didn't need to find momentary entertainment in beautiful faces or disappointing his dad anymore. Now that he had you, he would never want for anything else again.
He was reminded every time he saw you head for work though that he wasn't the only one who noticed how lovely and incredible you were. The thought of that bastard speaking to you again filled him with unbridled rage but he knew you loved your job at the library so he couldn't ask you to quit. Getting the man's study permit cancelled was easy enough though when he used his dad's contacts.
Hearing he was active in their circles again had his dad reaching out. This time he allowed the man to talk him into coming to work for him with one little condition that his father was all too willing to oblige if it meant the return of his heir. Everything Gojo did was for you and to be with you, you'd come to realize it soon enough.
Working for his dad and learning the ropes of taking over the business was busy work and it left him little time to spend with you. He used any chance he got to be with his beloved. Getting to hold you and talk to you, look into those pretty eyes and kiss those sweet lips was pure bliss. Even if resisting the temptation to do more was akin to torture, he'd wait for his darling.
He couldn't even have anticipated how sneaky you would be. How you could lie to his face for weeks. Disappear without a word as though you hadn't promised you were his. Leave him knocking on the door of an empty apartment like a fool.
He'd broken down the door when he tried calling you and your number was unavailable. Heart sinking when the wood gave to his strength and the apartment that had come to feel more like home than any place he'd ever lived in was just reduced to bare walls with no trace of you left.
He'd ignored the stricken looks of the other people who lived on your floor as he raced for the elevator. The world just a blur as he ran like a madman through the streets towards your library. Only to be told by a confused looking librarian that you didn't work there anymore.
The middle-aged woman's eyes widening as he began to laugh in the middle of the silent library. Laughing so hard he doubled over and nearly choked. Wiping tears from manic blue eyes as he straightened with a smile that was anything but amused before driving a fist straight through the front desk.
The woman ran to the back then and the kids recording him nervously lowered their phones. Those videos would be forcefully deleted by men people like his father kept around just for damage control. The library generously reimbursed to hand over the camera feed from that afternoon and the librarian warned to keep her mouth shut unless she wanted to be fired.
Gojo couldn't believe you would betray him like that. All he had ever done was love and adore you. All he had asked for in return for that blind adoration and devotion was for you to be his. He would lay the world at your feet as long as you simply returned home to him every night.
He hadn't even pressured you to love him, knowing you were oblivious and new to all of this so it would take you time to figure out your feelings. It would all be so much sweeter if you arrived at that conclusion yourself and confessed to him of your own volition. But you had taken all that trust and patience and thrown it in his face.
He felt like he couldn't breathe. Like the very air had turned to poison without you. He needed you back. It didn't matter that you had betrayed him, turned your back on him. Life wasn't just meaningless without you, it was unbearable.
He would make you realize you loved him, make you loyal to him and tie you irreversibly to himself as his very being was tied to you. He just needed to find you.
It wasn't hard but every moment without you felt like an agonizing eternity. He didn't eat, didn't sleep until he had figured out where you had gone. It took only a matter of days but in the span of those few days Gojo became unrecognizable. As though the madness within couldn't be contained any longer and had begun to show itself.
For men like him, it wasn't difficult to track someone down. He scoured the city while private investigators he had hired followed the trail left behind by your digital footprint.
He watched in his car, heart swelling with relief and air feeling like it entered his lungs for the first time in days as he watched you unlock the bookstore where you'd gotten a job. The large glass windows allowing him to see all the smiles you carelessly bestowed on all those who came in the shop but had snatched from him. Fingernails tearing into the skin of his palms until they were bloody as he clenched his fists to keep himself grounded and not barge into the store in broad daylight and carry you off.
He waited all day until you flipped that open sign to closed and locked the door. Moving around inside as you put the bookstore back into order for the next day before grabbing your coat and bag. Night had fallen by then and as you moved to the door he saw his chance.
You twisted the key until you heard the mechanism of the lock twist into place. A faint whisper of your name making you turn thinking it was the owner coming to check in on the store. The sight that awaited you however was all your nightmares for the past couple weeks come to life.
Blue eyes ablaze with mania and lips forming your name were all you saw before you felt a prick at the side of your neck and everything went out of focus. Large hands greedily clutching your slumping body and the nauseous feeling of the ground being swiped out from under you the last thing you felt before it all went dark.
The sound of crashing waves was the first thing you became aware of. The smell of the ocean in the air as your eyes opened blearily to a completely unfamiliar room. Your brain jolted itself to full consciousness as the unfamiliarity of your surroundings registered. The next thing you noticed was the cold weight of something around your ankle.
You glanced down and your heart skipped a beat as you saw the shackle gleaming in the light let in by the large windows clasped above your foot. The long chain connected to it rattled as you darted up and tried tugging at the metal even as your head throbbed and vision swam making you see double of everything.
"Are you finally awake darling?” The voice you had hoped you’d never hear again called from the door.
You glanced up to see his silhouette in the shadows just beyond the doorway to the room you were in. Gleaming blue eyes fixed on you through the darkness.
Your heart skipped a beat in your chest and you wanted so badly for this all to be a nightmare but were frozen, unable to so much as pinch yourself to figure out if this horrific sight was a reality. He stepped forward into the light let in by the giant windows, steps steadily decreasing the distance between you both but even as the urge to flee set alight your nerves you remained immobile.
The feeling of his large warm fingers beneath your chin as he tilted your head up finally knocked you out of your trance. You jerked away from him violently, scampering across the large bed but your ankle was caught and you were tugged back towards him. His hand curling around your leg as definitively as the shackle that bound you there just below it.
“Now where do you think you’re going?” He asked.
Other hand grabbing onto the back of your neck and forcing your head back to make you look at him. Caught firmly in his grasp. Those pretty eyes on him as he had longed for them to be and they'd never lay on another again.
Your heart hammered in your chest as you waited for him to fill the terse silence interrupted only by the crashing of the waves outside. His eyes darting around every inch of your face like he wanted to commit it all to memory.
Only he knew how he had survived those days without you, not knowing where you were or even if he would ever see you again. But now he had ensured that would never happen again.
“G-Gojo where are we?” You asked when he refused to speak first, too preoccupied looking his fill of you.
“We’re home darling.” He answered simply, brushing your hair out of your face. Fingers leaving trails of heat across your skin.
“C-can you please get this off me? It hurts.” You said glancing down at the metal cuff.
“I doubt it hurts. I made sure it was a little loose so it wouldn’t press into your skin. Look, I can even get my fingers in.” He said, tucking his fingers into the narrow gap between the unforgiving metal and your soft skin, making it tighten and you let out a hiss as it dug in painfully.
“Oh did that hurt?” He asked, carefully pulling out his fingers and you nodded. Gasping when he suddenly grabbed you by the shoulders and hauled you in close so you were face to face.
“Can you imagine how much it hurt me when I realized what you had done?” He asked, voice raising despite telling himself he was going to keep his cool. You flinched back but his firm hold on you didn’t let you get far.
“Can you imagine how I felt when I woke one morning to see your apartment was empty and you were gone?”
Your heart pounded in your chest as you prayed fervently, despite knowing now it wasn’t, that this would all be a dream. You’d wake up any minute now to your new apartment with the boxes still piled high in the corner waiting to be unpacked. Reach for the water you kept on your bedside drawer before realizing in this apartment the drawer was on the other side of the bed.
“Can you imagine the pain of knowing the only one you’ve ever loved, the one you put above all else lied to you and betrayed you? Pretended to be yours when they’d been scheming to leave you all along?”
The fury in his eyes dimmed slightly as they filled with tears, his grip slackening on your shoulders letting you slump back down on the bed.
"I-I was scared Gojo." You said.
"Scared of what?" He bit out, swiping angrily at the tears in his eyes with the back of his hand making the pale skin redden. For a moment your fear was forgotten and all you could see was your friend in pain but those blue eyes flashed when he saw the tender look in your eyes and the moment was gone before it even fully registered.
"Of you, of this." You admitted, your own eyes stinging with unshed tears as all the fight seemed to drain out of you realizing the hopelessness of your situation. All that planning and pretending and look where you had still ended up. People like you just couldn't go up against people like him.
"Scared of someone who loves you more than anything in the world?" He asked incredulously, catching your wrists in his grasp as you tried to drop your face into your hands.
"This isn't love, it's madness Gojo. Love isn't forceful or violent like this." You sobbed, fighting to pull your wrists out of his hold so you wouldn't have to look at him again. He gathered your wrists in one of his hands, forcing your arms behind your back so you couldn't push him away.
"How can you say that? How can you say I don't love you?" He asked.
"Let go of me." You spat, trying with all your might to get out of his hold but your strength was no match for his.
"I'll show you how much I love you. I'll make you realize you love me too, I know you do." He cupped your face within his hand so you couldn't look away from him. Ignoring your renewed struggling and cries as you were forced to look into those eyes and the madness that glinted within them.
"We have all the time in the world here darling. It's just you and me here on this island. No one to come between our love and nowhere for you to run."
the soulmate swap fic has me in a chokeholddd omg the writer you are bestieTT
gojos 'cleaner' plan was so cruel i rlly wasnt expecting it. ig it had to be that way to attain his true goal: get rid of both soulmates and become the rock in the mc's time of need. still kuzuya and ai did not deserve all of that omg TT
i do wonder what would've happened if the 'meeting' between mc and chono was the key to switching back. maybe as soon as they met eachothers eyes, their souls would switch back to place and by the time gojo figured it out...well it'd be too late to stop a loose truck-
Haha true! I always pictured it as if they touched, their souls would know to come back to the correct body so it was veryyyyy close. If Gojo had planned truck-kun any later, he’d have to find a way to woo normal her.
But also, Kazuya was a bonus. He’d only invited Ai because killing one is easier to guarantee. But who told Kazuya to be such a reliable partner that even Ai asked him for help?
Gojo is absolutely convinced now that fate was always on his side. It may not have given him the correct soulmate to start but things corrected themselves eventually. (No, MC is not his soulmate)
Inspired by Unsoulmate (Geto x Reader) by @envy-of-the-apple
Link to AO3
PART 1
You woke up to a ceiling glowing blush pink from the sunlight trickling in from French windows. It was bright–blindingly so–and your arms reached up to shield your eyes. The heels of your palms gently massaged the sleep from your eyelids. As they pulled away, you glanced at your wrist out of habit to look at the name written in destined ink, and you froze.
Who the fuck was Gojo Satoru?
------
That was a good question. It’s the one that’s been circling your mind from the very beginning.
You’re not Gojo Satoru’s soulmate, but then who’s are you?
You’re not their daughter, but then who’s are you?
This isn’t your bed, but then what does yours look like?
What does your face look like?
What’s your life like?
Questions that popped up after every moment when the unfamiliar was presented to you like it was yours from the very beginning. All of them boiling down to: Who are you?
You’d looked in the mirror countless times chasing the blurry vision of your face. Stayed up as many hours as your tired eyes could muster plucking at anything and everything to evoke the memory of a name. But instead you’re fed more and more of Ai’s life everyday. At this point, you knew her more than yourself; your only sense of identity boiling down to a gut feeling and backed up by fleeting visions.
Sometimes you wondered if they were right. What if you were Ai?
But then Gojo, with his piercing blue eyes bearing down on you, asked the question and suddenly, easily, a name slipped past your lips and a piece slots into that hollow space in your memory. Ah.
“Yes…” You said your name again, the syllables rolling so easily off your tongue as if you’ve said it a thousand times before. “That’s me.”
The elation of finding your name burst bright and clear in your chest. It felt like a miracle and you were reaching up to shake Gojo’s shoulders in your hands, to feel something solid to anchor you into this moment. You said your name again as you looked straight into those stormy blue eyes.
You were not Chono Ai.
“Gojo, that’s me.”
———
In the midst of your celebration, the usually chatty man was silent. He probably thought you were crazy. At this moment, you were a little.
Still, he was a good fiancée, bringing a handkerchief to your—Ai’s—face to dry tears you hadn’t realized were dripping. Even though his eyes were blazing and looking at you with a new light, he was still careful not to smudge the make up the hired artist put on earlier.
“I—“ His words got stuck in his throat when you garbled a laugh and he had to hold you in place to stop you from hopping with joy. “I get it! I get it!” His hands gripped tightly onto your shoulders.
His lips smacked in contemplation as he looked down at you and you could see from the knot between his brows that he’s convinced, even though doubt still covered his demeanor.
He tested your name, voice lacking that hidden laughter. A shiver ran down your spine at hearing it for the first time from another person. That was you! That was you! For the first time, even doubtful, someone acknowledged YOU. This time, you felt the tears as they came, blotted them with Gojo’s handkerchief yourself.
The storm in his eyes swirled and the hairs on your nape tingled in alarm. Once again, you noted his silence, the lack of the almost constant amusement behind his words. For the first time, you felt unsettled by him. By the roughness in his voice and the strange glint in his eye as he looked down at you. “Where’s Ai-chan then? How long have you been her?”
“Since the day of the gala. I’m not sure, but if I’m here then she has to be where ‘I’ am, right?” It was only now that you wondered if it was a good idea to tell a guy like Gojo that his soulmate was missing. Your impression of him was always carefree, arrogant and a bit spoiled, and he loved his soulmate dearly. You often forgot that he ran a business empire backed by a cutthroat clan. Couldn’t that also mean that he was up there with the worst of them too?
“And where is that exactly?”
You silently prayed that Ai was in your body somewhere, safe and sound. For you who wanted to go home. And for you who had to be around her 6 foot something soulmate with the freaky eyes.
“No clue.”
“Wha—?”
“I only just remembered my name. Before this, I could only remember my soulmate.” His brow twitched, something like disbelief and annoyance knotting on his forehead even though he tried to be patient. You tried to soothe him. “But now that I know my name, it should be a little easier to track down a place where both our names are. I’m sorry but do you think we can cancel the engagement announcement?”
“Okay, hold on. First, you tell me you aren’t my fiancée and then you say you didn’t actually know who you were until just now. How are you so sure you aren’t Chono Ai? Are you sure you aren’t just confused?”
“Because you aren’t my soulmate.” The answer was blunt, immediate. It cut through the meanness that was starting to creep into Gojo’s temperament. He even looked hurt. “I just knew. The moment I woke up as her and saw your name on my wrist, I just knew it wasn’t right.”
His face twitched into a sneer like you’d said the most inconceivable thing but you didn’t back down at all. Your name. Kazuya’s name. A feeling deep in your soul told you they were two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together.
“I know it’s hard to believe but I’m telling you this because I don’t want to take Ai’s place here. The engagement, the excitement—this should be your moment with her and it just feels wrong to be here. I’ve been pretending this whole time, hoping that we’d switch back soon but I couldn’t hold it in anymore.” You rubbed your shoulders where his grip on them left almost bruising strain and took a step back. His hand reflexively tried to reach you but you brushed it off gently, minding the hurt that traced across his face. It didn’t stop you from saying what you’ve wanted to say since you met him.
“It feels awkward being treated like your fiancée. I'm not your soulmate so you shouldn’t be treating me so sweetly.” Your fingers clenched into fits, holding onto your distance. Seeing your determination, he looked at you. Really looked at you. You could practically feel the thoughts going through his mind, weighing the choice of whether to believe you or not.
You hadn’t thought this far ahead. Confessing your situation was done on an impulse, when the thought of marrying him churned wretchedly into your brain. What if he thought you were crazy? What if your choice meant this engagement fell through?
…what if you woke up tomorrow back in your body and Ai came back to her life in ruins because you couldn’t hold on?
Your stomach dropped as everything finally caught up to you. Gojo stood there and you watched with baited breath as the stormy ocean in his gaze stilled into a calm cool lake. Emotionless. Calculating. Then, light broke through his expression, an exasperated look on his face as he sighed heavily. “Well, what now? You don’t want to stand on stage for the announcement but we can’t just cancel it.”
You swallowed. He believed you. Haha. Wow.
Relief flooded your system even as he turned to you with a frown and hands on his hips. “To be more accurate, the clan elders won’t allow it. They’d sooner sign the mergers now than let anything affect the reputations of the companies.”
You licked your lips, putting your panic and relief aside to think about his question. “Can’t you convince them? I just need a bit of time to find Ai.”
“And then what? Do you even know how you ended up in her? What if ‘you’re’ already dead? What if she’s already gone,” he challenged. The bite in his voice teetering between ridicule and genuine inquiry.
It wasn’t meant to be a dig—he was too nice for that— but your breath hitched in pain anyway. “How can you say that? Why are you so quick to jump to that conclusion?” Panic set in again, your voice cracking under its attack. You’d done all you could to be positive up until this point—to avoid thinking of the worst. Yet he, in his usual brashness, brought up the death of his soulmate so easily.
Gojo softened then, instinctively trying to soothe you when he saw the face of his believed crumple in despair. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s a lot to take in and I still don’t want to believe that you’re not Ai-chan.” He tried to hug you but his arms loosened as you quietly shook him away.
“But surely, you felt it—that I’m different from her?” Soulmates held a mysterious but unquestionable connection. Even when you couldn’t remember him, you’d known Kazuya was the name supposed to be on your wrist.
Gojo frowned in contemplation and sighing again. “I did. I’ve suspected something was up for a while now. I just didn’t think it was like this. I thought maybe you’d become more comfortable with me and that’s why…” You shook your head, denying his conclusion. Disappointment and resignation filled his eyes and he straightened up. “Okay. Listen. We can’t cancel the announcement—“
“But—!”
“Listen. I’m sure you already know but if the elders suspect anything wrong with you, they’ll make it hard for me and Ai-chan.”
“Are they really that bad? To break a soulmate bond over some petty reason?”
“They believe that some people are fated to die miserable and gruesome deaths. So why should they leave everything up to fate?” The coldness in his gaze stunned you for a moment and you almost saw where his elders were coming from.
But that didn’t make it any better. “That’s fucked up.”
“It is.” Gojo nodded. He stretched out his palm to you as if to make an offer. “Can you stand in for Ai-chan for now? I’ll look into finding where ‘you’ are and I’ll help you figure out how to get back to where you belong. We just need to not rock the boat til then.” You hesitated, recalling the creeping dread that masquerading as Ai festered in your gut. You almost wanted to beg him to change his mind but then his proud face broke into a humble frown, his straight back bowing down a little. “I can’t risk losing my soulmate.”
A voice in your mind screamed no. You didn’t want to pretend anymore but his eyes flashed with desperation and you remembered the guilt, the dread of ruining someone’s life because of your inability to cope. And Gojo…he wasn’t asking for a lot. He even said he’d help.
“Okay.”
“Thank you.” His smile curved genuine and soft like you’d granted him the highest mercy and you felt guilty for even considering declining. “Does anyone else know about this? The Chono’s?”
“No. They think I’ve just got amnesia.”
“Good. Don’t tell them. The less people that know, the better.” But wouldn’t having more people searching be better? Then again, you may be able to trust Ai’s family but could you trust Gojo’s? He seemed to read your mind as gradually, his arrogance lit his face. “I’ll get my people on it. They know how to hide stuff from the clan.”
“Can you tell me any more details that can help the search?” You couldn’t give him any more details other than your names and what Kazuya looked like. It wasn't much to go off of and you cursed your memory again. Really, fuck whatever god or devil put you in Ai’s body in the first place. Gojo didn’t seem to think too badly of it other than he’d have his work cut out for him. In fact, he laughed it off. “It’s okay. Just a bit more of a challenge. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be fun.”
In his laughter, you found the panic and dread you’d been battling ease. You weren’t alone in this anymore. The handkerchief in your hand was taken from you and you felt the silky cloth dab against the corner of your eyes. “Geez. Stop crying. You’ll ruin your makeup at this rate and then what’re the reporters gonna say?”
“Haha. Sorry. Just—I’m just happy you believe me. Thank you, Gojo.” You managed a watery smile that you tried to school back into a picture perfect face. Any time now, someone would come get you two for the press conference part of the event.
“Not gonna call me Satoru-kun anymore? If someone hears you, they’ll think we’re fighting or something.”
Right. When you tried to say his name, a sweet “Satoru-kun” grated past your lips. Both of you blanched. The name sounded unbearable now that you both knew you weren’t his soulmate. You tried it again and while it felt better this time around, Gojo’s face grew stormy in disgust.
“No good?”
“Call me Toru. Satoru-kun is...” His face pinched and you understood.
“Toru.” The name sounded better, not carrying any of the practiced sweetness, nor the echo of Ai that seemed to pain Gojo. He seemed to think so too as his demeanor eased back into the cheerful guy you’d known.
Just then, Ai’s mother knocked on the door, a sweet blush on her face at seeing both of you in Ai’s dressing room. Gojo and her greeted each other and she ushered you both out. The press conference was starting.
“We’ll be there in just a moment, Auntie. Could you give us a couple more minutes?” Gojo was quick to hide his handkerchief, a hand fixing your hair as if it had fallen out of place.
“Oh, you two. Have a little patience. You’ll have the rest of your lives to talk and all that once you’re married.” Mrs. Chono tutted though she giggled good naturedly when Gojo batted his eyes at her.
“Please, Auntie. I just want a few more minutes with my honey. You know they’ll eat us alive out there tonight.” An arm draped over your shoulders and the tall man’s weight leaned on you, his chin nuzzling your crown and a secretive smile on his lips. If you hadn’t been too stunned by his sudden proximity in front of Ai’s mother, you might’ve forgotten that you were currently Ai.
“Two minutes!” A doting smile graced her face and left you alone again.
You wasted no time getting out from under him. The flirting felt even weirder now and you wondered if you’d made a mistake. Would you actually be able to act out being a couple with him? And how was he so quick with all of that? In fact, as you looked at him, he looked back at you with a curious expression. Not a hint of awkwardness or embarrassment about him at all. It made your embarrassment that much more well, embarrassing.
“H-honey!?” Instead of walking it off and promising to do better, that came out instead.
Something shifted in the way he looked at you, his cheerfulness muted once again. He tried to hold your hand but out of reflex, you pulled it away. He sighed.
“You’re not Ai-chan. Not in the way you talk to me or the way you react.” The air grew heavy as he waited for you to nod. “But I can’t call you by your name either. So from now on, I’ll call you Honey. How about that?”
“Ai-chan would’ve been fine.”
He snapped then, voice grave as he looked at you. “No. You’re not her.” The weight of his gaze pressed down on you, those sparkly blue eyes cutting straight to your brain. Right. Just as you were uncomfortable with him, he must’ve been just as reluctant to shower you with the same affection he did his soulmate. But for the sake of the engagement, you had to act close, as in love as two soulmates could be.
Refusing to bestow her name on you was his way of keeping her sacred. Compartmentalizing.
Despite the gravity in his stare, that realization lifted an unknown pressure from your chest. Perhaps you still hadn’t believed him when he said he accepted your story. But seeing how serious he was in separating you from Ai, there was no doubt that he believed you.
Calm trickled into you and a smile fit for the occasion stretched onto your face. “Okay. Honey, then.”
Seeing the acceptance on your face, he too seemed to sag in relief. Both of you quickly checked your reflections to make sure you were presentable and by the time you walked out the door, you’d steeled yourself to play the lovestruck heiress once again.
As you walked down the hall, you could hear the crowd before you could see them, a buzzing murmur of the public that would soon witness the promise of two families. Your heart beat in a nervous flutter.
It should’ve been Ai here.
Before you entered the conference room, a warm hand reached for yours, gently lacing your fingers together. Beside you, Gojo smiled. He emitted a soft dependability even though his face grinned with boyish arrogance. For once, you didn’t pull your hand away, drinking in his reassurance as you pulled together that patchwork of PR lessons you’d been given these last few weeks. When you first step forward wobbled, he was quick to hold you close, letting you lean into him. Your heart clenched.
It should’ve been Ai here.
——
You: can I stop by today?
Satoru-kun<3: need me to send a car?
You: I’m gud. Tanaka-san will drive me
Satoru-kun<3: u know I can just buy you a car, right?
You: please don’t. I’m already drowning in gifts
Satoru-kun<3: so what’s one more??
You: NO
Satoru-kun<3: can u come today? My uncle is dropping by
You: k
Satoru-kun<3: can u get me cake?
Satoru-kun<3: I need sugar
You: can’t Ichiji-san get it?
Satoru-kun<3: PUH-LEASEEEEE
You: (—.—)
You: fine
You: can u wait til after lunch?
Satoru-kun<3: BEST. FIANCÉE. EVER
——
The receptionists already knew you from the many times you’d dropped by to visit Gojo at his work. Since Ai hadn’t gotten a job yet, you spent your days roaming around doing whatever it was that wealthy young women did. You and Gojo decided that visiting him at work every now and then would really sell the young and in love image you both were going for. A big bonus was you only had to let people see you. Once you were in his office, they could speculate on whatever was going on behind closed doors as much as they wanted.
Well, you tried to keep your head high as some people secretly threw you looks as you passed by. Sowing rumors wasn’t exactly how you’d choose to go about maintaining that image. Love lives should be private and all that. But, there was another reason for why you had been visiting Gojo’s work place.
Ever since the engagement party, there’d been a surge to contracts and networking happening and Gojo was swamped with work. Trying to make time to see each other was difficult. So quick check-ins with each other during his breaks were the only way you could meet face to face. And it had to be face to face.
Once Gojo’s secretary, Ichiji, left, you relaxed and set down the box of cake you brought with you per the sweet-toothed monster’s request. Said monster dropped his prim and proper CEO act and stretched languidly in his leather swivel chair. “Fuck. If I have to look at another file filled with errors, someone’s gonna get fired. I swear to fuckin God. What am I paying these fucks for?”
Over the month or so since the engagement party, you two had really gotten more comfortable around each other. Since you weren’t his beloved, Gojo had taken to being more openly grumpy and less charming around you. Not that you minded though. Given his work load, plus the extra effort he was putting in to search for you and Kazuya, seeing him let loose around you felt deserved.
And as for you…
“I remembered something today.” You cut a slice for him and set it on a paper plate. Seeing his stress, you kindly delivered the slice to him, setting it on his desk. “And it’s useful this time.”
“Oh, and what useful info is it gonna be? A street name? A country?” He grabbed a fork and shoveled cake into his potty mouth. Even grubby like that, he still moved with ingrained grace.
“Don’t be rude,” you tutted at him, threatening to take his cake if he was going to take out his frustrations on you.
“Sorry.” At least, he was quick to apologize.
“Anyway, I had a dream last night about the first time I met him. It was the last day of school before summer break, freshman year.”
You could still see it clearly in your mind. The chatter of excited students as they cleaned the hallways and classrooms. You were wiping a window sill when the rag slipped from your hand and fell out the window. Luckily, it was only the first floor and a group of boys were passing by. You called out to them for help. That was when you saw him.
Under the warm rays of sunshine, a light sheen of sweat on his forehead, a young boy in the middle of puberty went to help you. His lanky frame moved quickly, not even minding that he had to step around a bush to grab your rag. When he handed it to you, the gap between his front teeth stood out. But you still thought his smile was brighter than the sun itself. Just like his name. Natsume Kazuya.
“So? What about that’s useful?” Gojo sounded put off still though less grumpy as the sugar kicked in. He regarded you with a bored gaze from where he sat at his desk.
“What’s useful is that I remembered that we’re the same age and that we went to high school in Japan.” Being able to remember this much was amazing, really. Ever since you’d learned your name, you’d had flashes of your past. Vague images that were achingly familiar. Whenever you visited Gojo, you tried to tell him what you remembered, at least, what felt important. Unfortunately, none of your memories were detailed.
It was why Gojo’s search was taking so long. With only names, he couldn’t be sure where to start looking. At one point, he’d even grimly stated that it was possible that you were in another country.
“You know that doesn’t narrow it down much, right?” This time, his voice was softer, already cradling your heart for the disappointment that followed.
“I know. But it’s something.” Despair threatened to choke you as you cut yourself your own slice. That had been the most vivid memory you’d had so far and your heart still raced as you traced the image of your beloved in your mind. That gap-toothed smile. That moment you found your other half.
“It was so hard to leave him that day. But…” You closed your eyes and reached beyond the memory. “…I think we met up again the next day. I think that summer was probably the best one of my life.” There weren’t any memories you could recall but you were sure of it.
“Tsk.” A soft cluck of tongue drew your attention back to Gojo. A sour expression tinted his face adding to the cloud of exhaustion that was already hanging over him. You’d realized then that you’d been blabbing about your soulmate this whole time. The man probably felt a little pissed to see his soulmate talking about another man so nostalgically even if it was just you in her body.
“What about you and Ai-chan? How did you meet?” Maybe shifting the topic to her would brighten his mood a little? Just like how thinking of Kazuya made you happy at times even though you missed him dearly.
“Me and Ai-chan? Hm…I was in high school then. They told me that they’d found my soulmate and brought me back from the boarding school I was in. She was small and really shy. The leaders were busy negotiating and planning our marriage. We ended up not talking much before I was sent back to school.” His face remained solemn as he recounted their meeting. Right. Their meeting has been restricted from the very beginning.
Whoops. You hadn’t meant to bring his mood down further. In Ai’s diary, she’d been excited and hopeful. But for Gojo, being an older teen then, he’d seen the rules imposed on them and probably felt suffocated that even his blessed fate was somehow being tampered with by his clan.
You cut him another piece of cake as a silent apology. “Ai-chan was probably really cute back then, right?”
“I mean, she was kid, so yeah. Cute. Like I said, we didn’t talk much and that was the only time I saw her that year. I do remember giving her my dessert at the time. The elders started questioning her and it got a little too much. I felt sorry for her.” At being given more sweets, his expression eased. “It was cake.”
You already knew that. Ai had written about it in her diary. Still, Gojo seemed happier and more relaxed the more he spoke so you kept prodding. “What’s her favorite flavor?”
“This one. Strawberry cream.” Without hesitation, he answered, digging his fork into the second slice with glee this time.
You frowned. “Dude, no. It’s chocolate mousse.” Ai loved it when he sent her a cake each year on her birthday. It was something she looked forward to, a sign that her soulmate thought of her even when they couldn’t meet. But Gojo seemed to think otherwise.
“Nope. I’m sure. She never complained when we got strawberry cream cakes before.” The confidence with which he said that made you doubt what you knew for a second but there were yearly entries about that cake.
“Dude, you gotta pay more attention to your girl or she’s gonna resent you.” The stare you leveled at him held the weight of your full on judgement. He could visibly see you mentally note it against him. Guess he did have some flaws after all. You always thought he was a good guy, loud and pushy personality aside, he was great at catering to your requests and needs. Which was probably why Ai spoiled him like that. If you ever got a chance to talk to her, you’d let her know to assert herself more during their dates or her fiancée would get the wrong idea.
“Hey, I am an excellent boyfriend. What? Does your soulmate know everything you like just because he’s your soulmate?” With a forward slump, he asked, but not before taking another big bite of the cake you set down.
“Of course!” Pride rippled through you immediately. “He’s never gotten my preferences wrong after he’s learned them. And he’s always putting me first. One time, we almost had a fight because he insisted we get treats for me when we were out celebrating—!” Celebrating…
“Gojo!” Your eyes widened as the memory seamlessly weaved in the back of your mind. Your hands couldn’t help but slam onto his desk which startled the man.
“What?!”
“We were out celebrating! Celebrating his team winning the prefecture’s high school judo championship! I remember! The year, our school! Laptop! Get on your laptop!” You couldn’t urge him fast enough to get online. With a few clicks, you were able to pull an article of that event. And then there he was, smiling with a group of high schoolers, holding up a gold medal. Not just a figment of scattered memories. Your Kazuya.
“We found him.” Gojo whispered in awe. Immediately, his fingers flew across the keyboard, using this starting point to narrow down search results. It led to his socials, set to private except for a profile picture depicting a man in his late twenties.
“That’s him! Gojo, that’s him!! Quick! Add him! Add him!” A zing of energy couldn’t begin to describe the vibrant feeling bursting in your chest. After over two months of living Ai’s life, of clinging to a sense of identity backed up only by fragments of memories, there was finally something concrete. There he was, your soulmate. If you could fly to him at this very moment, you would have.
“H-hold on.” Gojo still stared at the picture before his hand grabbed your forearm trying to stop you from getting to the keyboard. But the excitement gave you tunnel-vision that only a loud shout of your name snapped you out of. “Calm down. Geez. I can’t just randomly add him. Do you think he’d accept a friend request from me, THE heir to Gojo International? Think for a sec.”
His admonition cut off your overexcited heart. Of course, he was right. You all lived in different circles. If Kazuya was contacted by Gojo randomly, he’d probably assume it was some scammer trying to swindle him. You murmured an apology, regaining your cool. Gojo side eyed you before sighing. “It’s fine. At least we’ve found him. I’ll have my people investigate, see if they can find you and confirm if Ai-chan’s in your body before we reach out to them.”
“Why investigate? Can’t you just reach out indirectly through Ichiji or something?”
“I don’t know, what do you think the chances are that if you tell him his soulmate’s body swapped with the heiress of Chono Corps, he’d come running? Plus, the main goal is to find you, not your soulmate.” His sarcasm bit into you. Yeah. He had a point. Seeing you acquiesce, he pulled open a drawer and grabbed one of his infinite pairs of sunglasses and put them on. You’d learned that this was his way of dealing with a headache.
He let out a sigh again and did some more thinking before looking at you. “It won’t take too long to look this up. Just leave it to me. In the meantime, why don’t you look up how you could switch back? It’s good that we’ve found them but we have a month til the wedding. Doesn’t give us a lot of time to research soul swapping.”
Where would you even begin to look that up? But you nodded anyway. “I can do that.”
“Good.” He smiled, but it wasn’t quite his usual cheery one. The culmination of stress from all of this probably numbed his own excitement at the prospect of finding his fiancée. Though with how thoroughly he thought of everything, it was possible that he was tempering his expectations, meticulously planning things to make sure whatever fateful shenanigans you both would have to get up to to correct this identity crisis was kept away from the elders’ ears.
Once again, you felt guilty for having him shoulder most of the burden in your search.
But at least, you could ply him with sweet treats to make up for it. You grabbed him more cake as he looked back at his computer screen. While he happily ate away, you imagined what it would be like to be back. How your meeting would go. Would Ai be just as flustered as you are from living as someone else? Would she have any idea why you even swapped places to begin with?
“Shoot. Hey, Honey, could you get one of my spare ties? It’s in that closet over there.” A quick glance at Gojo showed that his fork had slipped, leaving a bit of cream on his tie. You did as you were told, finding the spot and looking through his spare clothes to a tie. There were several but you chose a purple one with a sateen sheen. When you returned to his side, he’d already taken off the dirty one but when you offered the new tie, he just gave you a pout.
“What?”
“Can’t you tie it for me?”
“No.”
“Aww come on. I’m already having a helluva day. Can’t you at least wait on me a little? I feel like a damn unappreciated work horse here.” He mocked sniffled, batting those baby blues at you. You weighed your options and decided it was whatever. Knowing him, he’d insist and annoy you til you gave in. You walked around to where he sat facing you and straightened his collar, looping the tie around his neck.
“You’re so childish at times.” Your fingers knotted the fabric, careful not to touch him unnecessarily. Meanwhile, he looked up at you with a teasing grin, his tension easing out of him as he was able to rile you up.
“That’s me, spoiled from day 1. Not like I didn’t earn it though.” He stuck his tongue out at you and you swore he would have flipped his hair if you weren’t tightening the loop. “Besides, you should still act like my fiancée at times to get used to it.”
“No one’s watching anyway.”
“Can’t let you slip in public. Like come on, you’re still calling me Gojo. Call me Toru.”
“Maybe later.” You fiddled with his tie, trying to make sure it was straight when you felt two hands land on your hips, not letting you pull away.
“Come on, say it.”
“Gojo—“
“Say it. Treat this as practice.”
“You’re such a brat—“
“It’s just a name, you’re the one making a big deal out of it.”
“Big deal—fine! Toru! Are you happy now?” His grin turned catlike and you just knew he was messing with you. His hands still wouldn’t let go of you and you sighed. Brat. Just to get back at him, you pulled on his tie, driving the knot up until he choked. He sputtered. Hah! “Toru. Toru. Tooorruu. Toru! Toruuu—“
“Am I interrupting?” The familiar voice was a bucket of cold water on the amusement you were having. Your head whipped to the doorway that you hadn’t heard Ichiji open. Behind him was Ai’s brother, whose face was pinched with sibling disgust.
“Ah! Forgot the time. Sorry you had to see us like this, brother-in-law.” Gojo’s grin next to you was just asking to get punched.
——
True to Gojo’s word, it took him only a few days to look into Kazuya, and subsequently found you. According to him, ‘you’ had fallen down the stairs at your apartment around the same time you’d woken up as Ai. When ‘you’ woke up, the doctors diagnosed ‘you’ with amnesia—able to function, just having no memories. Some general digging brought up hints that Ai was in your body, such as more expensive purchases and needing to have your boyfriend, Kazuya, around to help with day to day life. Though lately, neighbors were starting to hear more and more fighting between the young couple.
Gojo made the arrangements and now, you both were sitting at a coffee shop, waiting for Ai to arrive. You sipped at the latte in your hands, fingers tapping the cup with impatience. The idea was that the future Gojo couple would meet this nice girl while out on a date and they’d hit it off and become friends. This way, you’d have a cover while you worked out how to switch back.
Across from you, Gojo also watched the bustling street. Unlike his usual goofy self, he was silently eyeing the faces of each passerby. You understood. Your fingers pressed against the cup, channeling all your nervous tension onto white porcelain. If you didn’t, you felt like you would be running around, weaving through the crowd to see your face that much sooner.
The seconds ticked by on your wristwatch. Eight minutes. Eight more minutes until your designated meeting time. And then you’d be as close to home as you’d ever been since you woke up in this dream-like life.
And then that was when you saw it.
“Hey, Hon—“ Gojo’s voice was a blur in the wind as you rushed out of that little coffee shop to weave through the passing crowd until you reached the intersection. You saw your face on the other side, nervous, eyes wandering. But your gaze was drawn to the figure next to your body.
Ah.
Your eyes met sweet amber and your heart leapt to your throat. On the other side, Kazuya’s eyes widened with recognition. He smiled. He saw you. One look at you, at Ai’s unfamiliar face, and he saw YOU. It was like the day before summer. The light. The heat. That face that made your soul sing.
Kazuya.
Kazuya!
“Kazu—“
ScreeEeeEeeechhhhhhh!
It all happened so fast. The screams. The smell of burning rubber. The thud of bodies getting thrown about.
Kazuya’s face disappeared in a crunch of metal and glass.
What?
“Kazuya! Kazuyaaa!”
Fire lit in your chest and you leapt into action only to be stopped by a pair of strong arms pulling you back. The hand over your eyes urged your face into a solid chest as Gojo screamed at you not to look. But you struggled. You pushed. You screamed and screamed your soulmate’s name until your lungs were filled with bergamot and vetiver.
——
The glow of the TV was the only light in the room as you dully watched the news. From here, you could almost pretend that the gruesome accident it showed was in a whole other town, a whole other world.
A truck barreled down the streets uncontrollably, indiscriminately mowing down people in the busy intersection. They suspected faulty brakes and a drunk driver. 23 confirmed victims. A gruesome tragedy.
The couch dipped next to you as Gojo sat down. He’d said nothing since he’d wrestled your shaking body into the car. Nothing as he drove you both away from the accident. You two weren’t even supposed to be there. And even if you’d wanted, you wouldn’t have been able to ride with the ambulances to the hospital.
Oh God. Did they even retrieve the bodies? They’d disappeared between the truck…the wall.
Your breath choked for the nth time. He’s been just a few meters away. So close. And now…on the TV, they showed the crumpled frame of the truck, metal contorted around a light pole while the rest of the body braced its wreckage against a shop wall. Blood. Broken glass. Caution tape and ambulances. The newscaster’s face tried to remain neutral but each word seemed to chip a little at their professionalism.
You looked at Gojo, his face sharpened by the darkness and the TV’s cold glow. His eyes stared with unblinking intensity at the screen. What was he seeing? The news? Or the vision of his soulmate getting snuffed out by a rogue vehicle?
A hollow feeling gnawed where your heart should be. It ate and ate at your guts, your feelings, your breath. Gone. He was gone.
Wrong. Wrong. WRONGWRONGWRONG—
“Ha—ah-!” Gojo’s breath hitched and your eyes automatically followed the sound. Tears flowed from his eyes, shimmering and devastating. You watched him. He watched the news. Caught in a hollow moment, you’d wished more than you’d ever had in these last two months to wake up from this nightmare.
And if you couldn’t, could you at least not wake up at all?
Mechanically, Gojo turned to you, his eyes wide and intense, rimmed red and flashing dark. You’d seen him annoyed, serious, cheerful. But this arrogant prince now looked broken. You tried to grasp for something to say to console him even as your own despair swallowed your words.
“Gojo—“ But even those meek attempts didn’t get past your lips before you found them sealed by his. Hot with his tears, they pushed against yours, his arms circling your body. You turned your head away, trying to free yourself but he followed, insistent. Desperate.
“Gojo—Go—Toru! Toru!”
He finally pulled away and your reprimands were caught when you looked at him. His face was a wreckage more tragic than that crumpled truck. Like a weeping angel, he stared at you with a longing that constricted your heart. “Please. I need you. Please.”
With tears in his lashes, he begged like a lost lamb. His pleas echoed in the hollowed ache of your chest. In his eyes, you saw your silhouette and you understood. You’d both lost your other halves. The pain raw and bleeding. And while you could only wonder what was left of your soulmate, Gojo was grasping at what was left of his.
Could you deny him?
Tentatively, you offered your lips and he was quick to devour them. His mouth pulled at your lips, tongue prodding and savoring. Your body flinched at his onslaught, so unfamiliar with the sensation. Had Ai ever kissed him? Would she have written about it if she had?
Gojo didn’t hesitate, his hands weaving themselves under your shirt, splaying over the bare skin of your back with reverent desperation. He trailed hungry kisses from your lips to your neck, sucking harshly at the skin, bringing heat to the surface and leaving your neck scorched in his kisses. Panic started to settle in at what you were doing in the wake of your soulmate’s death.
This was wrong. This was wrong.
You turned your head away and realized that the news had moved on to the next segment. This whole time, you were thinking of Gojo, of Ai, of the intensity of his touch. You’d stopped thinking of Kazuya, of the hollow emptiness, of the darkness swallowing you from the inside the more you thought of him.
Once. Just once. Because you might not live to see tomorrow if that feeling swallowed you whole.
You grabbed the back of Gojo’s head, yanking as hard as you could. Your feeble strength was nothing compared to his so it was the only way you could get him away from where he was marking up your chest with teeth and tongue. He hissed as you dragged his face up.
Your eyes met. His crazed. Yours lifeless. Your teeth clacked as your desperate mouths latched onto each other, nipping and biting and swallowing your first sounds of pleasure.
He pushed you onto the cushions, settling his large frame between your welcoming legs. It was all you could do to hold onto him by his hair and the back of his shirt as he dove in to lay kisses on your chest. You lifted your hips to assist his hand in stripping off your pants. His hips stuttered as his heated center brushed against yours.
“Fuck. Fuck. Princess,” he whispered against your collarbone before pulling back. His large hand pulled off your stretched out shirt. His face was flushed as he stared at your bra, cups skewed from his hurried fumbling. Raw want reflected in his eyes.
You pushed onto your back and bucked your hips deliberately, watching his chest heave as your pantied crotch dragged over the length of his clothed erection. “Baby,” he groaned. “You’re gonna be the death of me.”
You managed a cracked smile. “Don’t you already feel like dying?”
“Shit.” His arms held onto your legs and he pulled you around until you sat on the couch. Hastily, he shoved his body against the coffee table, making room for himself to kneel on the floor as he spread your knees open. His clammy hands on your thighs. His rapid breathing warming the air. With the only light behind him, his frightening silhouette cut a shadow blocking the news still playing in the background. Only his eyes, those freakishly bright jewels, could be seen on his face. Staring. Watching. Stormy seas hungering.
You moved your panties aside for him in invitation.
You think you both cried when his mouth met your crotch.
“Thank you. Thank you.” He whispered gratitude against your pussy lips and you yanked his pretty white hair to shove them in his face.
You didn’t want to hear him cry. Didn’t want to be reminded of why you were fucking him on his living room couch. You just wanted to feel the coil in your belly tighten. Drown out the ache in your chest with the sloppy sounds of his mouth eating your cunt.
“Princess,” he called wetly from between your thighs. He pulled his mouth away and traced three fingers across your cunt, scooping up your slick and his spit. His eyes stared at the lewd slime with a mix of awe and mania. “Look at her. She’s so pretty for me.”
Your brows knotted as the stimulation stopped and you met his lust-blown gaze with irritation. “Sato—“
He shoved two fingers in your cunt.
The almost painful entry sent a shock through your body and you had to bury your mouth in your elbow to stop from screaming. If only he’d paused there, you might’ve caught your breath, but his mouth was back on your mound, tongue lathing circles around your clit as his long fingers massaged the spongy tissue of your core.
“Sato—s-sato—“ There wasn’t enough air in your lungs before his skilled fingers punched it out of you in moans and groans that you stubbornly tried to muffle. You let go of his hair, bracing yourself against the couch instead and each lick twisted and twisted something in you that made your toes curl.
“Talk to me. Let me hear you, princess.”
“Satoru—sa—“ He made it so hard to call his name. He flooded your brain with pleasure, overpowering your numbness with a different buzz. You wanted to give something back. So you tried. You were trying. Trying to play your role as Ai, give him the illusion he was so crazy for but between your pants and the insane way he curled his fingers just right, you couldn’t even say his goddamn name.
“Sato—toru. Ah! Toru!” His fingers sped up, sensing your building climax. He mumbled something against your core but you only registered the sensation of his lips enveloping your clit.
“S—toru! Come—!” Filthy sounds filled your ears along with the rushing pulse of your blood. And then, it snapped. You came with a cry, nails scratching his leather couch as your cunt clenched around his talented fingers. A dizzy sensation followed. Like your head was stuffed with cotton.
Gojo’s tall shadowy frame stood up. The sound of cloth rustling and metal jiggling drew your attention though you hadn’t registered what was happening until his hot length slid along your battered pussy. His arms scooped your legs beneath each knee and pressed them to your chest until your glistening cunt was fully on display for him, inches from his aching pleasure.
“You’re so beautiful. So perfect.” You hissed as his heat rutted against your sensitive lips, coating itself on your release. “So perfect…can I? Will my pretty girl let me fuck her perfect little pussy?”
His voice pitched higher in pleasure and desperation but his eyes bore into you. The heaviest of blues. Like he was looking at the sun, the moon, the stars, the world. His soulmate.
You wanted to hurl but instead, your back was pressed into the couch as he pushed his dick inside you. “Fuuuuck yes. Needed this so bad…”
Meanwhile, it felt like you’d combust if your lungs started moving. Only the frantic beat of your heart and the splitting stretch of your muscles as his cock pushed half-way in dominated your senses. He was big. Huge. Colossal. Whatever he was, it felt like he would split you apart if he pushed in anymore. A fresh wave of tears stung your eyes.
“D-don’t clench so hard, princess. It’s making it hard to move.”
“Toru. Toru. It’s too much.”
“Shh shh shh.” A gentle kiss followed the trail of tears up your cheek to your eye. “You can take it. You were born for this.” As his words tried to soothe you, his hips thrust shallowly, coating more of his cock and digging just a little deeper into your spongy depths. You could only concentrate on breathing through it until he finally bottomed out, hips slapping against your ass with a proud grunt. “See,” he rasped, a broken kind of laughter behind his gasp. “You were made to take me.”
And then he started to move. With a vigorous pace, he pounded into you. Each thrust massaging your walls, dragging sweet electric pleasure with every inch of his cock. The pain of bearing his length numbed to heat and tight shocks that curled your toes.
The slap of sweaty skin filled your ears. The rush of blood to your head. The creak of the couch, of leather sliding along your skin. His hands held your legs up in a tight grip, fingers digging into your flesh determined to leave bruises. Your fingers ached to claw him back but you dug your knuckles into him instead. You couldn’t—shouldn’t—mark him.
In this fantasy, you were his but for you, he was just a distraction.
“I love you. I love you.” His breath whispered hot against your ear before his lips found yours again. Between tongue and wanton breath, he gasped his devotion to his beloved, voice raw, feral. His brutal pace bordered on pain, each trying to cleave not just into your body, but into your soul. You bit your lips trying not to cry but you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Toru!” You screamed in hope that it would snap him out of his fantasy. But he was so lost in the haze of lust and a dream, his body only driven more urgently by your cry.
“I love you. You’re perfect. Made for me. Made to be mine.” His body pressed down on yours as if to break you or meld with you. His mindless chanting of love and praise lost in the roughness of his voice as he climbed higher and higher.
And you were there with him. The knot in your stomach wound tighter, your body a ball of electric pleasure threatening to burst with wave after wave of Gojo’s desperate ravaging. “Toru. Toru.” The murmurs of his name did nothing to fight his tide until finally, finally, the dam came crashing down.
A cry ripped from your throat as your ears rang flat. Stars burst behind your eyelids as your second orgasm surpassed the first in intensity. Your body tingled everywhere, as if your cells had all split open, releasing all your tension, your hurt, your thoughts into the wind. White heat flooded your core as Gojo came with a cry of your name.
——
For a moment, everything was quiet. Your mind. Your soul. Just the fluttering of your racing heart in your ear drowning out the world in bliss. Perfectly calm as you stared at the shadowed ceiling in a daze.
…names of….
…tragic accident…
…of the deceased…
As you came down from the high, the thundering of your heartbeat dislodged from your eardrums, the newscaster’s voice started to register. They were listing the names of the victims.
Huh?
…Natsume Kazuya, Age…
On top of you, Gojo scrambled to reach the coffee even though his limbs were still shivering from his orgasm. In his hurry, he slipped out of you. You barely noticed the feeling of cum spilling out, just the absence of that blissful fullness. Just the emptiness. Your body slumped to the side, boneless and numb.
He was too slow, fingers fumbling with the remote. He was too late to stop you from hearing the newscaster proclaim your death.
Your death. Ai’s death. Kazu—
Pain lanced through your chest and your body shook with its impact. Right. The accident. The deaths. Kazuya. You. Ai. You—
You were dead to the world now.
Someone called your name. Over and over like they were trying to overwrite a bad memory. Your eyes focused and you saw Gojo, his stormy blue eyes lined red, face bright with the light of the TV shining over his sweat-soaked skin. The flush of exertion still stained his face down to his hands, warm as they cupped your cheeks.
He called your name one more time and you nodded as much as you could against his hands cradling your face.
“Look at me.” There was a wobble in his voice, raw and tear-streaked. Rough from sex but less sad. Less desperate. “Look at me.”
You did. You looked into his stormy blues. They glowed white with reflected light. You gasped deep from a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. His eyes only seemed to flash more.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as you came back from a brief panic attack.
“Toru. They’re dead. I’m…dead.” It was only just now that you realized that it wasn’t just Ai and Kazuya that you’d lost. It was your life. How were you going to go back now?
Was there no going back?
“Shh. Shh. I’ll make it all better. I swear. I’ll make it all better.” He was crying too, as if he’d also realized what you just did and the absolute devastation it detonated in your already hollowed heart. “I promise.” He pulled your face closer and you let him guide you.
One night. Just one night. You drank in his tears, his promises, his broken feral laughter.
——
Your black dress felt suffocating underneath the midday sun but you couldn’t bring yourself to go inside, not when the only building open was Kazuya’s family home. Their doors were open, welcoming mourners in for the funeral. The flower bouquet was heavy in your hands. So heavy that you couldn’t take a step forward.
You turned around to leave, only to bump into someone. Gentle hands steadied your shoulders and a nostalgic scent teased your nose. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.” The older man before you sounded exhausted, shoulders slumped as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He moved around you and your eyes followed him until he reached the front door of Kazuya’s house. A relative? A woman that you recognized as Kazuya’s mother from how she greeted the guests received him. They spoke in hushed murmurs until Mrs. Natsume burst into a fresh wave of tears. You walked a little closer, eyes still on that sad old man.
“You really didn’t have to come. You also…”
“My wife and I wanted to give you our condolences. Kazuya-kun meant a lot to us as well. He was already a son to us. He would’ve been family…” He couldn’t finish his sentiments as he had to look away, hiding the tears he wanted to suppress.
You wanted to reach out, to wrap your arms around him. But in Ai’s body, you couldn’t reach him anymore. You could only watch your poor father cry.
——
By the time you reached the door to Gojo’s condo, your emotions were rubbed raw, body exhausted. You stepped through the door quietly, catching the faint conversation in the living room.
“Thanks by the way. That cleaning service you recommended did a fantastic job.” Gojo’s usual voice, tinged with amusement, drifted through. You approached them, seeing a guest sitting on the lounge chair across the living room.
“I’m not sure why you needed it but I’m glad it worked out.” The other man’s voice was cool and polite, kind but in a detached sort of way. Void-black eyes flicked to you as you entered the space. Looks like Gojo’s best friend came to visit.
“Hi Ai-chan.”
“Good evening, Geto.” With a practiced smile, you greeted the man, shrugging off your jacket as you passed the hallway closet. Gojo was by your side quickly, taking your jacket and purse and hanging them up in a show of domestic harmony.
“Welcome home, Honey.”
“I’m back, Toru.” When he leaned down, you gave him a kiss on the cheek. He grinned happily, giving you one back.
Geto watched you with bemused eyes before getting up. “Since the future missus is here, I’ll make myself scarce.”
“You don’t have to mind me. How about you stay for dinner, Geto?” You leaned into Gojo’s embrace after he’d put away your stuff in the closet.
“Some other time. Satoru might kick my ass if I insist on being a third wheel.”
“He won’t. Right, Toru?” You looked up at Gojo who was wearing his sunglasses again. His arms curled tighter around you and he gave Geto a mean mug.
“If you get it, then you should go. Shoo. Shoo.”
Geto chuckled and looked at you with eyes that said, see? You rolled your eyes conspiratorially with him. “I’ll see you at the office, Satoru.”
“Tell Mrs. Suguru we said hi.”
The moment Geto was out the door, you dropped your smile and broke free from Gojo’s embrace to sink into the couch. Without the company, Gojo’s mood also quieted though not by much. You could feel his energy as he moved to the kitchen. It was silent for a moment, the two of you soaking in the peace.
Eventually, you asked the question loud enough for him to hear. “Cleaners? I haven’t been that much of a slob, have I?” Ever since the accident, you’d lived in Gojo’s guest room; though you two hadn’t slept together since that night. You’d used the trauma of witnessing that accident as an excuse to stay at his house when Ai’s parents had asked where you were the next day.
In truth, you just couldn’t bear to see them. They didn’t know that their daughter was dead and at the time, you didn’t have the will to pretend to be her for them.
“You’ve been great. I just wanted to make sure everything was clean anyway.” As his steps padded towards you, a plate of cut fruit was placed on the coffee table in front of you. You grabbed the offered fork and dug in.
“How was the funeral,” he asked in a more muted tone.
“Terrible…just terrible.” Not only did you not manage to properly pay your respects, you also got your heart ripped out after seeing your father. The way he mourned you. The way he didn’t recognize you. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Okay. Here. Apple.” He was gentle as he speared a cut piece for you. Actually, he’d been gentle the whole time you’d lived with him. On days when you’d locked yourself in your room. Or when your temper flared. Or even when he tried to talk you out of going to the funeral anyway. He’d been mindful of your emotional state even though you were the one imposing on him. Even though he was also grieving the loss of his soulmate.
You looked at him with a mix of guilt and helplessness. You’d stayed the first few days with him because you felt more displaced than ever. You couldn’t go home. Ai’s was not yours and yours had a dead body. He’d kindly offered that you stay and even when you’d pulled yourself together and were ready to leave, he’d still insisted you stay. Because he knew how much it meant to you that he knew who you were.
You swallowed the subtly sweet fruit, pushing down your exhaustion in favor of lightening the mood. “So Geto’s married, huh?”
“He plans to be.” You gave him a questioning stare and he grinned. When he didn’t elaborate, you simply shrugged. Most soulmates eventually marry anyway. Which reminded you…
“Speaking of getting married—the wedding’s less than a month away.” While you were hiding from the world, the world still moved on. Just last night, Ai’s mother had called to give you an earful about leaving all the wedding planning to her. There was only so much she could do by herself and you needed to come in for a final dress fitting, as well as finalize the plans. It was hard to look in the mirror this morning when you thought about putting on Ai’s wedding dress.
“I wanted to talk to you about that, actually.” There was shifting beside you as he moved around; you only really took notice when he came before you and knelt down on one knee, a royal blue ring box in his hand. You leapt up in shock, heart pounding when he called your name in all seriousness.
“Will you marry me?” The gravity in his tone didn’t fit the face of a man who was proposing a lifetime together.
“I’m not Ai.” There was no joy on his face yet you still felt the need to remind him anyway that you were just a soul in her shell. And if he were thinking of using you, of playing pretend with her shadow—
“I know. That’s why I’m asking you.” His hand reached for yours and did not let go as he remained kneeling before you like a knight pledging his allegiance. “To be honest, it’s still so hard for me to wrap my head around everything that’s happened but I know when I look at you that you aren’t her. She’s gone now. But the engagement is still on.”
“I want to be clear, you don’t have to go through with it. Our engagement was because we were soulmates so it’s hardly fair to continue when there’s a different soul in her body. If you don’t want to go through with it, I’ll go to the elders and tell them it’s not happening. I’ll take responsibility for the consequences, the reputational hits and stock drops for both families. I’m a genius anyway. I can make them bounce back. I’ll help you walk away from it all.” His bravado didn’t waver even as you continued to look at him in disbelief. He only squeezed your hand a little tighter as if the pressure could convey his determination better than his words did.
“But if I’m honest, I wish you’d stay. I need you. Not because you’re in her body—you…you’re the only one who knows that she’s gone. You’re the only one who understands.” His eyes misted over and your hand gripped his reflexively as if afraid he’d disappear. It wasn’t like you didn’t know what he was feeling, in fact, you knew it all too well.
“Maybe,” your throat stung, emotions swelling. You two shared a tragic secret. But was that enough to get married to each other? “Maybe you need me now but in the future, would you be able to stand looking at her face and knowing it’s me?”
“I’ve thought about it, and yes. The moment you stopped trying to act like her, you’ve always been yourself in my eyes.” You weren’t sure if you believed him and he could only sigh because he couldn’t prove it. “Listen. The elders are still gonna push for me to get married eventually. But there’s no one else out there for me anymore.” His gaze watered but still he looked at you, bearing his soul. “If I have to be married, I want it to be with you. Someone I get along with. Someone who understands.”
“And I’ll never make you act like her. It would have to be gradual, but you can live the way you want, even in public. I wouldn’t restrict you. And I know you’d have to carry her name in public but I can call you by yours when it’s just us. It’s the best I can do to give you back some of yourself now that you’re stuck in her body.”
You trembled. Right. There was never any going back to your old life now. But still, couldn’t you gradually carve out your own space anyway? Did it have to be with him?
“What if you fall in love with someone else,” you asked.
“Could you?” He challenged in a low voice, eyes dark with meaning. Your heart squeezed. You couldn’t imagine falling for anyone after loving and losing Kazuya. The hand you were holding began to pull and your balance faltered with that tiny tug. Gojo caught you and his calming scent filled your lungs as he looked down at you cradled in his arms. “If you could, then why not try falling in love with me?”
His words raced in your mind. What was there to do now? Even if you chose to leave, you’d be wearing Ai’s identity your whole life. No action you took, no words you spoke would ever be separate from her again in the eyes of the world. No one would ever see ‘you’ again.
Except Gojo.
He knew. And maybe he’d regret it one day when her memory haunted him through your very existence. Maybe marrying him would be a mistake. But if you had to live with a stranger, wouldn’t you rather be with a stranger that saw ‘you?’
He took off the diamond that you’d been wearing, the engagement ring that Ai loved so much. In its place, he slipped on a different ring, a stunning yellow diamond, as amber as honey, surrounded by six smaller sapphires, three on each side. As blue as his eyes though they still paled in comparison.
You wished Kazuya could have given you a ring.
——
Gojo’s POV
The cathedral they’d booked for the wedding was as grandiose as can be. You hadn’t asked for any changes even though this church wedding was something Ai wanted. If his family had their way, they would have insisted on a Shinto ceremony. Still, they didn’t spare any expense. This was his wedding, after all.
Well, there was one change. He’d made sure to drag you dress shopping again. It nearly gave the planners a heart attack when he’d asked for a new custom gown just weeks before the event. Even you protested but he wouldn’t hear it. It was one thing having to recycle this whole event, there were just too many logistical problems. But you had to at least wear a wedding dress that you chose for your special day!
He could give you that much. A ring that you accepted. A dress that was made for you. A husband that you chose.
“I’m surprised you’re going through with it. I thought you were planning to delay the wedding until the other side either dropped it or forced you.” Suguru’s murmur was low, meant only for his ears. He stood at the altar as his best man. “You actually look excited.”
“What can I say? I finally got it.” One day, he’d looked at the face of his fiancée and it all clicked. When he met your eyes that looked at him with idle curiosity. It was the same face he’d known for over ten years. The same voice. The same hair. And yet, one look and it was like heaven unfolded before his eyes. Like he was given the world to hold in his hands, a most precious gift. His to have and to hold. Forever. He’d made sure of it.
Inspired by Unsoulmate (Geto x Reader) by @envy-of-the-apple
Link to AO3
PART 2
You woke up to a ceiling glowing blush pink from the sunlight trickling in from French windows. It was bright–blindingly so–and your arms reached up to shield your eyes. The heels of your palms gently massaged the sleep from your eyelids. As they pulled away, you glanced at your wrist out of habit to look at the name written in destined ink, and you froze.
Who the fuck was Gojo Satoru?
------
It felt like a dream when the maid placed down a gourmet breakfast in front of you. Toast shouldn’t look so expensive on a white plate. Neither should a plain cup of coffee.
An older man sat at the head of the table with an older woman that you assumed was his wife talking about a gift list. A young man was reading the morning newspaper as he sipped his own cup of coffee. They were a picture of a well-to-do family.
They assumed that you were their daughter.
Your eyes glanced down at your wrist again, at the unfamiliar name. Any moment now, you would see it change to another name or to the name it was supposed to be. Or maybe just some random gibberish. Wasn’t that how dreams worked?.
But the words didn’t change. Nor did the faces of your ‘family.’ The heat from the coffee cup you picked up was real against your fingertips; the patterns on it even matched the ones on your ‘brother’s.’
“Ai, are you alright, darling? You’ve been pretty quiet this morning.” The woman’s elegant face twisted in slight concern when she addressed you.
“I-I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep well, I guess.” The words stuttered as they left your mouth, still unsure as you were about this scenario. You decided to play along, if only because their eyes were kind as they looked at you.
“Aww, my poor darling. Should we cancel the shopping trip this afternoon so you can get some rest?” She glided easily from her seat with a quiet elegance, walking like she was floating until she was able to rest gentle hands on your shoulders. Her perfectly manicured fingers gave you a squeeze in comfort.
This had to be a dream. Because despite how confused you were by this stranger’s affection, your body instinctively leaned into her touch. As if you’d known her gentleness all your life. As if you really were her daughter.
But you weren’t. You were too aware of that, at least.
“Is that alright? I think I needed to lay down for a bit.”
“Sweetheart, you should’ve said something sooner if you weren’t feeling alright.” She tutted and cooed as she guided you up to the room you woke up in. With the same ease in which she moved, she tucked you into bed with all maternal sweetness that only fueled your internal confusion when your body settled naturally to your bed.
Her hand smoothed over your hair and she left with a kiss to your crown. You almost felt bad for her, for the wrongness that rang in your head, but you dismissed it. When you opened your eyes again, you’d be yourself, in your own bed, with your real mom.
As sleep drifted your consciousness away, you absently ignored the stray thought that you couldn’t quite picture what your mom looked like. Oh well. Dreams didn’t pay any mind to those kinds of details.
------
You didn’t wake up in a bed that felt familiar like you thought you would. The dream carried on, much to your annoyance, so you did the sensible thing and pinched the hell out of your arm. That usually brought you back to the real world, in those few dreams where you were lucid enough.
You hissed as your nails dug into your skin, pain stinging up from crescent indents. But nothing happened.
You tried again. It hurt just as much as the first time, but you were still in the dream.
Confusion started to sink into dismay but you didn’t have time to ponder why when a ringing caught your attention from a phone on the nightstand. The cellphone was pink, like the rest of your room.
Satoru-kun<3 was calling.
You recognized the name as the one on your wrist, this dream-self’s soulmate. Out of curiosity, you answered.
“Ai-chan!” A sweetly sing-song voice called from the other end of the line. It was unfamiliar, like everything else had been so far.
“Hey,” you greeted the stranger.
There was a small pause on the other end, as if Satoru-kun was thinking, but it didn’t stretch on for too long. “So there’s this gala tonight. Do you think you can come with me?”
Just as he spoke, your ‘mother’ came in quietly with a box in hand, stopping when she noticed you on the phone.
“I sent you a dress from that brand you like. Let’s meet at the hotel entrance. Invitation’s in the box. I’ll see ya!” He hung up without waiting for your reply and you spared a thought to call back and protest but shrugged it off. This was probably what you were dreaming about tonight—being some wealthy daughter going to a ball.
Your mother approached you then, holding up the dress from the lavish box she’d been carrying. She twittered at the gown, at the lovely design. It was a little on the cutesy side. And of course, it was pink. Its finery showed in the details, like how silkily the fabric flowed even when you were only holding it up in one hand. Not something you could afford.
Your mother was full of compliments for Satoru-kun’s tastes and how well he knew you. You didn’t bother correcting her.
The rest of the hours were spent swept up in preparations. By the time you were stepping onto the marble tiled walkway of a highly exclusive hotel, you had a gist of your identity in this dream.
Chono Ai, 23 years old. A wealthy socialite from a wealthy family with a wealthy fiancée who was her soulmate. Young, rich and beautiful. She lived a life too perfect to be real, so far beyond your reach that you couldn’t immerse yourself in the illusion.
But still, you walked into the bright hotel with a poise that came naturally to this body. The lobby held a certain sparkle of brand new yet timeless, the countless lights of the high ceiling softened by a magnificent glittering chandelier. Around you, people were dressed in sleek gowns and custom suits while employees guided them around like it was too much of a hassle for them to follow directions to the venue themselves. One sharply dressed steward approached you, taking in your fitted gown and professionally styled makeup, and proceeded to ask for your invitation.
You were about to pull the filigreed card out when a sing-song voice chimed in from behind you. “She’s with me.”
The employee bowed with a murmur of “Gojo-sama” and a polite smile as he left you two alone. You turned to finally see who this soulmate was.
Blue was the first word that came to mind. Tall was the next.
Even in high heels, you still needed to look up to meet the eyes of Chono Ai’s soulmate. He was beautiful—almost ethereal under the glittering lights. With an air of confidence, he stood before you the picture of a rich heir in his tailored blue-grey suit and shiny shoes. His slicked-back white hair and glowing clear skin gave the impression of elegance though there was enough sharpness in his features to show that his beauty leaned more masculine. There were small diamond earrings on his lobes. The blues in their sparkle lost to his eyes, but they tried.
Your heart rate raced for a small moment as you took in his astonishing beauty and then it settled. He was pretty but he wasn’t your soulmate. He wasn’t your Kazuya.
Oh.
Your thoughts paused and Satoru-kun’s face became a momentary blur.
That’s right. You remembered now. The name on your wrist should have been Natsume Kazuya. You glanced at your wrist to find the name still unchanged. Huh. You looked back up at the owner of the name written there–at Gojo Satoru.
He looked down at you with a dashing smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. His eyes unabashedly wandered your frame with careless familiarity and then, he suddenly brightened. His tall frame leaned in, those blues twinkling more than the crystal chandelier as he looked at you for half a beat, and was quick to give you a kiss on the cheek. You startled, a reprimand on his forwardness on your tongue when you remembered that he was your fiancée. This sort of greeting was natural.
There was a smirk on his lips as he pulled away. Your teeth grit in chagrin but you managed to smile politely back. Tried to, at least. Something in your face must’ve given away your discomfort, as he chuckled low and quiet. “What’s that look for, princess?”
“Oh, uh, you caught me off guard there for a second. And we’re in public.” You blushed, his face still a little too close for comfort.
“Can’t your fiancée even give you a kiss on the cheek?” He pulled you into his space with ease, affection bouncing off of each laugh hidden in his words.
You couldn’t help the way you leaned away automatically, your hands on his chest to lightly push back. Fiancée or not, you didn’t know this man and you found his affection invasive. His cologne filled your nose with the scent of bergamot and vetiver, clean and cool. You were close enough to smell a hint of candy sweetness on his breath. Your nose wrinkled.
It was hard to resist the indignity of squirming free in his hold. You were supposed to be an elegant heiress. “We’re still at a formal event,” you chided. “Can’t be too lovey-dovey. What’ll they say?” You hoped you sounded matter of fact without being too distant to this dream-fiancée of yours.
He didn’t seem convinced, even pouting at you, aggrieved. The weight of his hands on you pulled you in. You stood your ground and tried to drive even the smallest bit of distance between you two, but it proved useless against his strength. The carefree expression on his face soured slightly at your silent tug-o-war before he sighed dramatically, a flash of something flitting on his face that you couldn’t glean. In the few seconds of your struggle, he seemed to think of his compromise. With a pout, his face turned to the side, his eyes looking at you meaningfully.
You stared back confused until you finally got it. You sighed internally. You were starting to really dislike this dream.
With much unspoken reluctance, you gave him a quick peck on his cheek, lips barely touching his skin for propriety’s sake. That seemed to make him happy as he finally relented, indulgent understanding in his eyes. He let go of you for just long enough to wrap your arm around the crook of his elbow, his large palm patting your hand into place.
Still touching, unfortunately, but not having him in your face let you breathe a sigh of relief.
“Shall we go in?” He hummed, body turning to face the venue entrance. His hand stayed covering yours.
“Yeah.” An awkwardness settled in your chest at having to be a couple with this touchy guy. Why couldn’t your dream scenario place Kazuya as your partner instead? He would’ve looked so handsome in a suit.
At least you thought he would. Come to think of it, what did he look like?
A tug pulled you away from that line of thought as the clacking of your heels started the next part of this bothersome dream.
As you both entered the decorated hall, your eyes skimmed over the crowd. Each person was just as lavish as the ones you saw in the lobby, though clustered together like this, they looked like sparkly baubles. Satoru-kun escorted you with the same carefree rhythm as the lilt in his voice, as if being in this crowd of rich and famous didn’t bother him at all. You glanced again at him. Fair. He was the shiniest bauble here.
Play along. Just play along.
But it was soon made obvious that your inability to immerse yourself into this dream meant you were awkward on Satoru-kun’s arm. You were unable to keep up with business talk. Your legs wobbled in your jeweled heels. The stem of the champagne flute looked heavy in your hands while Satoru-kun carried it with effortless grace.
If Satoru-kun noticed, he didn’t say a thing. Instead, he guided you from one businessman to the next, exchanging pleasantries and other shallow nonsense with dazzling smiles and rehearsed laughter. As the protagonist’s partner, he naturally commanded the room. And there were a lot of people in said room, all of them vying for his attention. You began to wonder if he were the real hero of this dream and you were just the reluctant viewer by his side.
It all eventually became too much and you gave up. Was this what rich people called a party? As he was about to shuttle you to the next sycophant, you quickly stopped your steps, pulling at his arm.
“Satoru-kun,” the name felt like pure sugar on your tongue—too grating, too sweet. “I think I need a little break.”
“But we just have Mr. Sullivan to greet.” He motioned to a portly old man with a loud laugh that already made your head hurt, even from this distance. “Just get through this for me, Ai-chan. I’ll get you that bracelet you wanted if you’re good.”
His smile was bright, almost covering up the slightly coddling tone he was using. Almost like he was talking to a child. You got the impression that this heiress you were masquerading as was pretty spoiled when he made a move to drag you there as if you’d already agreed. But you remained firm, deftly slipping your arm from his.
“I really need a moment. Why don’t you go on?” You patted his arm to urge him along and tossed a smile behind you as you left him. You caught the puzzled look on his face but didn’t care enough to pay attention to it as you made a beeline for the refreshments. Maybe if you had a cake in your hand, people wouldn’t try to talk to you.
The further you were from him, the better you felt. You hadn’t noticed how overwhelming Satoru-kun’s energy was until you were away from his bubble. You walked a little straighter now that you didn’t have him by your side.
As expected of an elites’ party, the spread of desserts was abundant and exquisite. No matter what you chose, it would definitely be heavenly. You picked a delicate cake and ate with relish, the sweetness spreading in your mouth with delight.
As you took bite after bite, you checked in with your fiancée. Mr. Sullivan was animatedly gesturing to him while he nodded along, taking the occasional sip of champagne. From this distance, his carefree aura was noticeably dimmer—serious, even. There was a solemnity to him that made you doubt how he sounded like a goofy idiot when he talked to you. But maybe that was just how he was with his soulmate versus other people.
You grabbed another slice of cake and decided to go back and play the part of his fiancée when he looked your way, something incredibly bored in his eyes even though his smile never faltered. They almost screamed ‘save me.’
You snorted to yourself. Weren’t you just thinking he looked sorta serious? You decided to play the savior anyway to this silly dream-fiancée of yours.
Unfortunately, you didn’t take more than two steps before your dress was caught and a push sent your world tilting forward. You crashed onto the shiny marble floor, the cake in your hand splattering onto your chest and the dish it was on shattering on the marble floor with a loud crack. All eyes turned to you but you were too busy flinching to notice. Your hand landed on a sharp shard.
“Oh my, Chono-san! Are you alright?” The voice asking was a little too loud for how quiet everyone had become. You looked up at its owner and recognized the daughter of one the businessmen you’d talked to earlier. She was one of the women sending shy looks at your fiancée and you remembered her glancing at your wrist a few too many times during the small talk. “Your dress! What a shame, it was so pretty. And you were enjoying the desserts too.”
Your bitch detector locked in on her immediately. Too sweet. Too fake. The hint of mockery that she couldn’t quite conceal on her face only confirmed your suspicions.
You smiled sweetly back, crooking your lip just slightly to show your pain. “Ah, yes. I’m okay. Could you please help me up?”
You reached for her, squeezing a few tears in your eyes for maximum effect. Your pitiful appearance only boosted her ego and she suspected nothing as she offered you a hand. Immediately, you pulled her down to the floor with you.
“Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry. I didn’t think you were so weak, Makino-san!” There was a pettiness in your tone that you made sure was directed at her, the kind of spite that let her know you wouldn’t take her bullying. She looked at you in surprise, her winged eyes wide and scathing. Her cheeks started to flush and she grit her teeth like she was about to pounce on you.
The shard in your hand felt sharp as your fingers curled around it, ready to use it if she was gonna fight you. It was just a dream, anyway. Might as well not hold back.
But she was a delicate flower. Instead of whatever guts she had to start this drama, she threw tears your way, much to your disappointment. That disappointment turned to annoyance quickly but you didn’t get to have another word in before a jacket was thrown over you and the scent of bergamot and vetiver engulfed you. The world spun as you were lifted off the ground.
“Makino-san, thank you for trying to help my fiancée,” Satoru-kun said as he adjusted you firmly into a princess-carry. He eyed a waiter on the side and the man went to help the fallen lady from the ground. The other staff took that as their cues to start cleaning up. “I apologize for the commotion on her behalf. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening,” he said to the crowd who you only just noticed were watching you. The boring party seemed to find its momentary entertainment with your and Makino-san’s spectacle.
You had the decency to hide your face in his jacket as a wave of embarrassment finally reached you.
Thankfully, Satoru-kun’s long legs made short work of the distance out of that ballroom. It didn’t make every second any less shameful and you were itching to jump out of his arms the moment you were both out.
“That was quite the fall you took, princess.” There was laughter in his voice behind the concern. He was always laughing. Was everything funny to him?
“Let me down. Let me down.” Irritation flared in you and you just wanted to hide away. Thankfully, you only had to wriggle a little before he set you down. You were obviously upset but that wasn’t enough to knock off the whimsy in his voice.
“Are you sure? You look a little…like a mess.” He gestured to your front. Taking off his jacket, you surveyed the damage. Frosting and crumbs coated your chest in a mosaic a la toddler, the sticky sweet smell of it wafting up towards you.
“It’s fine. It’s just cake.” You tried to scrape off what you could so that you at least weren’t leaving crumbs as you walked. “See?” The mush squelched disgustingly in your hand but you didn’t make a face. “I just need to find a restroom—”
His large hand grabbed your wrist and twisted it up. It was only then that you realized you were still holding onto the plate shard and that your hand was bleeding, though sluggishly, from a long shallow cut on your palm. He picked up the shard from your palm carefully, those blue eyes staring intensely at the bloody piece.
“What were you planning to do with that, princess?” His smile was strained, pinched between different shades of concern.
Sheepishly, you tried to take back your hand but his grip was firm. “I-I didn’t even know I had that. Everything happened so fast,” you lied. He didn’t look like he believed you but you just stared back in determined innocence.
“Tsk. Okay. That’s it. Let’s get you to a hospital to get that looked at.” His face flitted through several micro expressions before settling on disapproval. There was an irritated air about him for just a moment before he picked you up again with ease and walked out of the hotel.
“No! It’s really okay. I didn’t even feel it.” But he didn’t listen.
In the end, he called for his personal driver to come pick you both up. He insisted on carrying you the whole time while you waited and you were subjected to his gentle scolding. You would have taken him more seriously if you didn’t hear that hint of amusement creeping into his voice every so often. Even this situation, both irritating and concerning to him, seemed to hold something he found funny. You didn’t see what it could possibly be.
When a sleek Maybach parked in front of you, a uniformed driver stepped out to open the door. Satoru-kun gently placed you in, seating himself beside you in the spacious back seat. Once you were on the move, he took out a fully stocked medical kit from a hidden compartment.
“Please. Be careful next time, princess.” His fingers expertly cleaned and wrapped your wound and you’d just about had it at this point. You got it. You were clumsy and a bit irrational back in that glamorous ballroom. He’d been nagging you for at least ten minutes and you almost missed the sugary sing-song tone of his compared to this amused yet serious one.
Still, you knew that you were wrong to retaliate so blatantly. “I’m sorry for causing a scene at the party. I’m sorry we had to leave early,” you said in all seriousness.
“Geez. Why are you apologizing? It was her fault anyway.” He lifted a brow in surprise, the expression making him look boyish despite his slicked back hair. That he slouched after further destroyed any of that untouchable rich guy air he’d had. “Besides, I was also looking for an excuse to get out of that place. What? You thought you were the only one bored out of your mind by those old farts?”
He twirled a wrist around and made an obnoxiously disgusted face that got a laugh out of you. “I hate these fucking parties. But we gotta do it.” There was resignation in his tone, with a bite of resistance still coming through. He leveled you a look that said he knew you knew that feeling too.
A huff left your nose and you smiled like you understood him completely. Maybe you would have if you were really Chono Ai. “So you’re not mad?”
“Nope!” He grinned, all charming and carefree and you wiped it off with a swift frowning retort.
“Then stop nagging me.” The complaint rolled off your tongue easily, much to his surprise. It caught him off guard and he looked at you like you’d grown a second head. You shrugged off his studying gaze and tried to look for a pack of wet wipes in his medical kit. You wondered if alcohol wipes would be fine but then again, did you want to damage the dress even more?
Eventually, he stopped staring at you, an affectionate smile setting on his face. “Man, what’s with you today?” A chuckle tapered his rhetorical question but you answered him anyway with mock offense.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” As if it wasn’t obvious that being made to go to a boring party and then tripped wasn’t a good enough excuse to be a little grumpy.
“Nothing. Nothing.” He surrendered, hands up and palms out in placation.
Silence finally reigned between you two and you realized just how much he talked. You pitied Ai for having such a loud soulmate though you guessed it would appeal to her. He was her destined partner and all that. Your Kazuya was much more reserved. Quiet but in a peaceful sort of way.
You tried to recall what he looked like but like the rest of your memories, it was vague if not gone altogether from your mind. It didn’t help that Satoru-kun didn’t stay silent for long.
“Say, I feel like going out to do something fun, what do you say?” He was like a kid as he bounced in his seat.
You gave him a withering glare, getting tired of his energy and tired of this day in general. Who would have thought that playing rich girl just wasn’t your cup of tea? “Dude, I’m covered in cake. Do I look like I should be out in public?”
Maybe your response was a little too snappy because his energy died down a bit and his smile became small, though no less amused. An apology was quick to form on your tongue—there was no need to be mean even if you were annoyed—but it was cut off by a chuckle.
“What do you mean, princess?”
You startled as he leaned in close, voice taking on a husky timbre as a polished finger swiped down the front of your dress, traveling the valley of your breasts with an ease that stole your breath away. You were thankful for the high neckline of the dress as the fabric followed his wandering hand.
“You look good enough to eat.” That finger, covered in the remnants of frosting and cream, made its way between his lazy grin. A pink tongue licked it clean and you were left to gulp in shock.
His eyes flashed with intent and your heart beat slowly. One. Two. And then you blanched. “Oh my god. Don’t do that again.”
“What? What? What’s wrong with flirting with my fiancée?” Your reaction shocked him which you weren’t surprised by. You were his fiancée and soulmate so this wouldn’t be too weird. And if you didn’t already have your own lovable soulmate, you would have definitely swooned from how effortlessly sexy he’d done it. But in the end, your immersion was ruined from the very beginning and getting hit on by a stranger was damned uncomfortable.
“I don’t like it. Where’d you learn to do that? Some corny porn video?” You scooted to the far end of the back seat and leveled him a disapproving frown.
“Porn—? What? How would you even know if it was?”
“The internet’s free.”
After a pause, the sound of his laughter filled the car, the kind where he was slapping his knee, the door, any surface that was close by like what you said was too hilarious to even think about. In hindsight, saying all of that wasn’t in line with your heiress image. Chono Ai seemed like the sweet and innocent type. But then again, this was all a dream so what if your actual personality leaked through?
For the rest of the car ride, he was chuckling to himself, too amused to say anything to you until the car rolled to a stop in your mansion’s driveway. You were out of there without waiting for the driver or Satoru-kun to open the door for you. You tossed him a good night and headed inside until he called you.
“Hey!” And you turned around. From the open window, he grinned at you. “I mean it though. Let’s hang out again some time.”
“Sure. Whatever.” The chances of this dream reoccurring or continuing were pretty slim anyway.
------
You woke up as Chono Ai for a third time and it finally sunk in that maybe…maybe this wasn’t a dream?
Your hand still stung from last night’s cut and the date on your phone said it was a brand new day. You tried to go back to sleep in hopes of waking up in your own body. But no matter how many times you did it, no matter how many days passed, you stayed as the youngest daughter of the Chono household, and the gaps in your memory became apparent to your—no, Ai’s—family.
“How could this happen? My poor baby!” Mrs. Chono held you as her tears fell. Behind her, Mr. Chono and your ‘brother,’ Koujiro, were talking to the private doctor who was explaining the possible causes of your ‘amnesia.’
Their faces were grim but they thanked the doctor anyway for the last few days of running test after test. It went without saying that your condition would remain a secret between your family and him.
You awkwardly hugged Ai’s mother back, wondering what happened now. If only you could remember anything else about your life, you might have asked them to look into the possibility of soul swapping. But other than your soulmate’s name, you couldn’t remember a single detail. It was the frustration that haunted you since the day you accepted that this wasn’t a dream.
You didn’t know who you were and you didn’t know how to be Chono Ai either.
“What about her engagement?” This question caught your attention compared to the other murmuring concerns Koujiro and Mr. Chono were discussing.
“Wouldn’t it just go through as normal? They’re soulmates.” It was Mrs. Chono who answered them, the question stopping her tears.
Mr. Chono looked grim as he weighed his words. “Normally, that would be the case. But the Gojo clan might raise concerns regarding her health once her amnesia is revealed.”
“Would it be a problem though? The doctor said that everything else seemed fine except for her memories.” Koujiro looked at you with careful concern, his face pinched as if it pained him to see the indifference in your eyes where he should be seeing his sister’s adoration.
Yet it seemed that because you had no memories, it meant you had no opinions on the matter as they continued talking. No one asked how you felt so you were left to watch and listen.
Contrary to how close Satoru-kun acted when you met, it turned out that Ai and he hadn’t actually started meeting regularly until about a few months ago, after Ai completed her degree. As soon as her soulmark appeared at thirteen years old, they engaged in marriage talks with the Gojo clan. But things were different than what you’d expect.
A soulmate was a wonderful thing, the other half of you. The one that theoretically brought completion to the insatiable human soul. It was a powerful bond of which humanity still didn’t know how or why it worked. Just that once two halves met, the connection was instantaneous and in some cases, all-consuming.
Given this, the two families agreed to limit the meetings between the two as they grew so that they could focus on their studies. As soulmates, they wouldn’t need the extra time to date anyway. They would probably skip straight to marriage if given the chance.
With Satoru-kun as the future head of the Gojo clan, they were even more strict in ensuring that he was well-prepared to take on the responsibility.
And so, the two didn’t start dating until a few months ago and contrary to the elders’ beliefs, they instead decided on a long engagement. Satoru-kun had reasoned that he was in the middle of crucial projects to expand the reach of several businesses the clan had. He wouldn’t be able to give Ai the time and attention that she deserved.
But now that you had ‘amnesia’…
“I really don’t get it.” Of course, you being in Ai’s body was a problem but if the scenario had actually been Ai just having amnesia but being otherwise healthy, you didn’t see why that would be a problem. Satoru-kun also seemed to really like his fiancée so you doubted that he would cancel their engagement.
“It’s tradition for soulmates to be together, yes, but it’s that damned clan.” Mr. Chono looked at you with a mixture of pity and concern. For a moment, there was calculation in his gaze. “Satoru-kun is the prized heir of the clan. A one of a kind genius, they say. With how much those elders place their hopes on him, they’ll be strict on who he marries. They’ll look at every little flaw and blow it out of proportion. Not to mention the line of other fiancée candidates they’ll have if your engagement falls through.”
It had only been a few days since you woke up as Ai so you barely had a grasp of how much wealth your family had. From how they were talking, it seemed the Gojo clan had far more. And therefore far more to lose if unfit people married in. It was ridiculous to you that they would go against fate. It was a soulmate! It was just not how things should be!
For the first time since you woke up as Ai, you felt pity for her. That conversation with Satoru-kun in the car made a little more sense too.
In the end, they decided to speak with the elders about moving up the wedding before news of your ‘condition’ ever leaked out.
“B-but wouldn’t it be better if I took time to recover? What if my memories came back if we just waited a while?”
“If your memories come back later, that would be fantastic. But what if they don’t?” There was gravity in Mrs. Chono’s eyes as she took your hand in hers. They were soft and warm, the tension in them conveying her love for her daughter just as much as her teary eyes did. That blatantly obvious love choked back any of your protests.
She shouldn’t have been looking at you like that. She shouldn’t have been combing your hair with her fingers like she hoped to take away any pain you felt even though you felt none. A fresh wave of tears flowed from her eyes. You wondered if it was because she was staring at her daughter’s face, but you couldn’t muster even a fraction of her love to give back to her.
“I don’t want you to miss your soulmate, darling. Not because of clan politics. It’s such a wonderful thing, finding your other half.”
Her gentleness stung, as did the shivers of Ai’s parents’ bodies as they wrapped you in a hug. This close, you noticed that they had each other's names on their wrists. You pitied Ai even more and silently cursed whatever phenomena put you in her body.
------
Surprisingly, Satoru-kun agreed to move up the wedding date. Much to your horror.
“I thought you said you had a lot of work piled up and projects to take over. Wouldn’t it take years for you to complete those?”
“What can I say? I impress myself sometimes by just what I could do.” You heard the grin in his voice without having to look at him.
He was with you at some high end boutique, looking through a catalog of dresses for the engagement party. It would be the formal one, announcing to both business partners and the public of your intent to marry as well as the partnership of the two families’ companies. Well, really, Ai’s family would get support from the Gojo clan. After talking with your ‘brother’ and ‘father,’ you understood that they were far richer and more powerful than the Chonos and most families in the country.
Normally, Mrs. Chono would’ve been the one with you. However, due to the accelerated engagement, your parents insisted that you spend some time with Ai’s fiancée. Privately, they hoped the presence of Ai’s soulmate could help with the amnesia. They didn’t even listen when you pointed out that he might notice the difference in you instead. So here you were, playing dress up.
You looked around the empty boutique that Satoru-kun had reserved exclusively for this shopping trip. There was a team going around pulling dresses and accessories for whatever he pointed to in the catalogue. You’d been in and out of several of them but nothing seemed to wow either of you.
After the third A-line gown, you already felt your patience thin. There were only so many times you could put on a tulle skirt before they all started looking the same. You thought it would be easy with Satoru-kun being the doting fiancée that he was. You thought he’d take a look at a couple of dresses and declare his soulmate the most beautiful being in existence no matter what she wore. It turned out, he was more objective than that.
“I thought that last dress was fine.” You didn’t really mean that as you approached the couch he was sitting on. But your skin was starting to itch and he looked like he could sit there and coordinate outfits for the rest of the day.
“Did you, though?” For some reason, he was wearing sunglasses indoors but they did little to blunt the impact of his judgmental blue eyes as they peered at you over them.
“Yes,” you said stubbornly only to give into that stare. “No.”
“This would go faster if you gave your input, you know.” He flipped to the next page of the catalog, marker in hand ready to circle what you saw was another princess gown and you just about collapsed next to him, but Mrs. Chono’s etiquette crash course rang in your head and you flopped down with a little more grace, though still not befitting her standards. Satoru-kun didn’t seem to mind your lack of etiquette and he made space as you hovered over the catalog in his hands.
“What don’t you like about the dresses?” He leaned in a little to follow what you were looking at and as usual, you leaned away. He really loved being in people’s personal space.
“What don’t you,” you countered. “Isn’t the point of you being here for you to decide what I look prettiest in?” It was his party with Ai. You were just piloting the body but the experience was theirs. The publicity, the well-wishes, the pretty pictures and the venue. You were still holding out hope that you would be back in your body soon, so for these very precious moments, you didn’t want to make a choice that she wouldn’t make. Best leave it to Mrs. Chono and the man next to you.
This choice also seemed like the right one as you took in his attire. He was pretty, as usual, even in more casual clothing. His outfit came across as well put together. Then again, he was just one of those people that looked good in anything. There were also the dress and accessory choices he’d picked out for Ai before; they were lovely even if they weren’t your style.
“Hmm. But I think you become more and more beautiful every time I look at you. It makes it so hard to decide.” A flirty smile curved on his face. Somewhere in the boutique, you heard the cut off squeal of one of the employees but you were too busy staring at him trying not to look too annoyed.
His sincerity was both flattering and irritating. You should have known a guy like him would know better than to even hint that his soulmate was less than stunning. Your Kazuya was the same—
A flash of a memory crossed your mind. A face and a voice that had your heart skipping a beat.
“My _____ is the prettiest.”
It was short enough that you choked on your last breath as it ended, longing surging from deep within your chest so powerful that you had to take a step back. You swallowed against the wave of heartache even though it grated against your throat. It didn’t do much to stop you from pulling back the memory as quick as it came, putting words to reinforce the image of Kazuya in your head.
Short black hair buzzed close to his scalp. A muscular physique though he wasn’t tall. Brown eyes that shone like amber. There was a small gap between his two front teeth. The image faded and you clawed it back. Again and again. His skin was lightly tanned. He looked like he practiced a sport though you couldn’t remember what.
His voice—
His voice—
“It was just a compliment, princess. No need to get all teary-eyed. But this was actually kinda cute.” You were pulled away from grasping for that memory by Satoru-kun’s dumb voice. You almost hit him for it too for distracting you and making you fail to hear Kazuya call you pretty again.
You swallowed and this time, you were back on the ground again. It took a second to settle your emotions. But the longing to remember remained.
While you were spacing out, he’d leaned in close to you again, watching your face with boyish glee and you wished you could remember if your Kazuya ever made that kind of face. But no. This wasn’t the time nor place to be thinking of your real life. Too many distractions.
You scooted back and snatched the catalog from his hand.
“How about I pick the dress and you choose the accessories?” The sooner you chose, the faster you could go home. And maybe you’d jostle another memory to help you remember who you were. Flipping through the designer spread, you noted the ones Satoru-kun had already picked out and rejected. It gave you a general idea of what Ai liked. You waved away a bit of your irritation at him after realizing he had gone for similar enough styles. His flattery finally made you realize he’d been sitting there sight-seeing for the last couple of hours. He never planned to make the choice for you. Asshole.
“Aww. Why are you pouting, princess? Embarrassed? You don’t need to be. I’ll call you pretty every day. Though I guess it would be nice to see this face too if you reacted like this every time.” There was that laughter again and your face did heat up a bit at his misunderstanding but there was no reason to tell him you were thinking of your soulmate. No need to burst his bubble or make trouble for Ai.
“I’m pouting because I’m getting tired.”
“Well, why didn’t you say so earlier?” Except that you did, after the fifth dress. You were about to tell him that when his hands wrapped around your waist and you were hoisted onto his lap and made to lean against his chest. “C’mere, pretty girl. You can lean on me.”
You froze in your new position but he just slotted his head alongside yours, leafing through the catalog like he wasn’t cuddling you in front of at least five employees. His cologne wafted over you and his chest rumbled against your back with his chuckles.
Why was he so touchy!?
“Satoru-kun,” you hissed quietly, eyes darting around to the employees discreetly watching the two of you. You tried to jump out of his lap but his arms caged you in, his chin hooked onto your shoulder, cheek pressed against your own.
“Hm?” He hummed like this was nothing. Why, oh why, did the universe put you into the body of this overly touchy couple? His nose moved close to your ear and you felt him take a deep breath and relax. “My pretty girl smells so good. I can just cuddle you all day!” His whisper chuckled lightly in languid affection.
“Satoru-kun! People are watching!” You tried to move off him again and heard him tsk.
“Is that the problem?” One of his arms moved up into a dismissive motion and the staff were quick to move out of sight. “That better, princess? We can call them back after we’ve picked a few more dresses.”
You watched them leave bewildered. People actually did that in stores? Not only did they let you book the whole store for the day but they were happy to come and go at your command? What’s more, Satoru-kun was used to it, immediately tucking his arm around your waist and flipping the catalog in your hands together. The heat of his body seeped into yours and you were all too aware of every place your bodies touched.
“I think this dress might look good. What do you think?” Seeing him not budge, you wanted to jump up anyway. But Mrs. Chono’s face flashed in your head, the embrace of Ai’s parents, their matching soul marks. In the end, you numbed yourself to his affection, threw away your embarrassment and reminded yourself that this didn’t have to be something. It’s just touching.
------
It was exhausting keeping up with Satoru-kun. You tried on six more dresses before you finally agreed on one. All the while, he found a reason to touch you any time you made your weariness obvious. Even you weren’t this touchy-feely with your Kazuya, you thought. No. Definitely not. You didn’t like to do too much PDA.
And you were sure he knew that. He was watching you the whole time with those sparkly eyes of his. He must have known how uncomfortable it made you but he still did it. With a dumb smile on his face and equal parts amusement and affection in his laughter.
Ai was loved. That much, Satoru-kun made certain to you.
You sighed as you collapsed onto your bed, physically and mentally drained. What you would give to fall asleep right now. But Kazuya flashed in your mind. And then Satoru-kun.
You were haunted by the longing for your other half while guilt began to gnaw at you, for Satoru-kun who didn’t know that you were not his.
------
Satoru-kun<3: Are you free? Let’s get hotpot!
You: I can’t. Have piano lessons tonight.
Satoru-kun<3: Lameeeee
Satoru-kun<3: (>3<)/ g’nyt pretty girl
Satoru-kun<3: Let’s go to LaLaWorld!
Satoru-kun<3: Let’s go to LaLaWorld!
Satoru-kun<3: Let’s go to LaLaWorld!
Satoru-kun<3: Let’s go to LaLaWorld!
You: what r u? 5?
Satoru-kun<3: 6’3”
Satoru-kun<3: [image.jpg]
Satoru-kun<3: so could we go this weekend?
You: can’t. Family plans.
Satoru-kun<3: could I drop by around 4?
Satoru-kun<3: wanna to see u
You: don’t u have work?
Satoru-kun<3: gassspppp
Satoru-kun<3: How’d u know?
You: Your assistant said u couldn’t make it to the menu tasting.
Satoru-kun<3: u talked to my assistant but not me?
Satoru-kun<3: Watch. I’m’ma fire Ichiji
You: You’re such a drama queen.
You: Don’t fire him
You: How bout I drop by your office tmrw?
------
Weeks passed by quickly and you didn’t see Satoru-kun again aside from the occasional call or text. He was a busy man, only able to make plans either spontaneously or weeks in advance. Unfortunately, with the engagement party around the corner, Ai’s family made it a point to make you go through Socialite Living 101 when it became apparent that along with your ‘amnesia,’ you also forgot how to present yourself in public.
There was PR training, etiquette, memorizing who’s who and a bunch of other things to cram. Unlike the gala you went to, you would be the host at this event. All eyes would be on you. The pressure was on.
So that was what occupied your time. But it wasn’t like you weren’t avoiding your fiancée either.
Papers shifted around your desk to make way for a well-worn pink book. Ai’s diary. You’d read it a few times now but the icky feeling of invading someone’s privacy was still there. You had no choice though.
Ever since you picked out dresses with him, you couldn’t quite look him in the eye. It was hard to face his affection knowing it was for Ai. You didn’t want to be so close to someone who wasn’t your soulmate. Despite his flippant flirtatious nature, you felt how much he adored his soulmate. He even laughed off your annoyance and stubbornness. You felt guilty for deceiving him and being unable to play the part of an equally loving partner.
The best you could do was study how Ai interacted with him and try that. Try to act as close to his love as possible and maybe one day, when Ai and you switched back, he wouldn’t know the difference.
You flipped through the pages of Ai’s handwriting. From it, you gathered that she was bubbly and bright, a very cute girl. Her parents and brother spoiled her but her love for them was written in the pages before you. She had a lot of friends, some of whom you’d already had the awkward dilemma of trying to pretend to remember. Another reason why you stayed busy or at home.
But what you were really after was anything she wrote about her fiancée. Which was surprisingly a lot for someone who supposedly had only met him a few times before.
They met when she was thirteen and it was love at first sight. She threw a tantrum when she wasn’t allowed to meet him, going as far as doing a hunger strike only to eventually be barred from the Gojo clan’s compound after she’d gotten her parents to give in. Harsh.
You already knew about the limitations but reading it from Ai’s perspective was something else. It was like these rich people took soulmates for granted. They’d met, supervised, on holidays. Or as rewards for any big achievements she made in school. They weren’t even allowed to text each other until Ai turned twenty.
What fucking century was this?
You burned with indignation for Ai and the time she and Satoru-kun lost because of these silly rules. It was clear from what she wrote that she loved him very much and he’d treated her with respect and attention. Though as the younger of the two, she sometimes found him too formal. She hoped that once they were adults, they could date for real. Do all the things couples did.
She was so happy when Satoru-kun proposed. Even though it was a long engagement, she was happy for the ceremony. You glanced at the diamond sparkling on your ring finger. She loved that ring.
She lamented that Satoru-kun’s job made him too busy to see her but she was proud that he was listed in Forbes 30 Under 30.
Her hopes and wishes. Satoru-kun’s likes and dislikes. Every detail of what they talked about on the few times they met. All of that, but there wasn’t a lot more to learn about the two of them. In truth, the last six months when they could freely meet were just as sparse as the last ten years.
You sighed and tried to picture Ai as you looked into a mirror. The way she talked. Her facial expressions. Her face reflected in the mirror contorted this way and that back at you. It was just as unfamiliar as it was the first day you saw it. Still, you practiced how to be Ai until your smile was sweeter, eyes bright even if you had no emotion to back them. You practiced until you were satisfied that you got her just right.
And then you closed your eyes and pictured yourself, your real self.
It happened a couple of times that you’d get a flash of memory. But nothing that could point you in the right direction. Nothing but Kazuya.
And you’d spent many nights prowling social media for anyone with his name and face. Not that it was fruitful. There were just too many people. But the futility that drove you to cry yourself to sleep didn’t stop you from trying again the next night anyway.
You wanted to go back. You had to. You didn’t want to pretend to be Ai, receiving love meant for her, knowing there was someone out there for you. The rich life was nice with its comforts and beauty that most would never be able to see. But you could never shake the feeling of displacement. The constant nagging in the back of your head that this was wrong. The color of your skin. The length of your hair. The walls. The carpet. People calling you the wrong name and smiling at you with expectations you couldn’t possibly meet because you weren’t Ai. And everything was just so wrong wrong wrong wrong—!
“There’s my pretty girl. Are you ready?” A voice hiding laughter in its wake snapped you out of your reverie. Hands slid themselves over your waist and you were brought to a broad chest that smelled like bergamot and vetiver. “WOW. I knew I made the right choice. I know you chose something else but I had a feeling this one would be better on you.”
You’d gone through the last few days in a daze. Today was the party.
He spun you around and you saw yourself—no, you saw Ai—in the mirror. Satoru-kun’s tall frame was behind her while his hands were lovingly curled around her waist. She wore a blue mermaid gown that matched the blue of his eyes perfectly. Together they formed a pretty picture with her soft features and his boyish charm.
Belatedly, you realized this dress was one you thought was pretty but it was far from the sweet princess-like style that Ai preferred so you didn’t bother trying it on. But Satoru-kun was perceptive and he would indulge whatever his soulmate wanted.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
It rang in your head some more. Wrong dress. Wrong partner.
“I’m so excited. I get to tell the world that this pretty girl is gonna be mine.” His eyes were sparkling brighter than diamonds and you felt like hurling at the love you saw being directed at you.
Did you even eat today? Probably. No. Your stomach clenched like it was going to try answering you anyway when you heard that hidden laughter Satoru-kun always spoke to you—to Ai—with.
Wrong. Wrong. This was all so wrong.
Relax, you told yourself. It was just an engagement announcement. But it was supposed to be Ai’s big day. It wasn’t like it was her wedding. But you were going to be parading around all the important people with her soulmate on your arm. She would still have her wedding.
But what if she didn’t? What if whatever powers switched you never switched you back?
You looked at Satoru-kun who was rocking your bodies side to side in happiness. How long could you stand in for her? How far would you have to stand in for her?
“Satoru-kun.” The name came out sweet and soft just like you’d practiced and you immediately bit your tongue.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong!
“Gojo.” That sounded better. It sounded more like you.
The man behind you froze at your tone. As he looked at you, but before his motormouth could speak, you pushed away from him to stand until there was more than six feet of breathing room between you.
“I have something to say and I need you to listen.”
You told him everything. It was hard to believe. You knew firsthand just how difficult it was. Almost three days into thinking it was all a dream.
So you waited for him to process your story. Watching his brows furrow and his smile drop with each second that you didn’t make a move to say that it was all a joke, a stupid prank to add to the chaos of today’s big announcement.
“Wait…you’re not joking. You’re serious?”
“Yes.” You nodded calmly as his exuberance eroded into something quiet. Maybe disbelief? Confusion? Or was it anger, if he believed everything you said just now? You weren’t sure. You’d never seen this man be this silent.
“So if you’re not her, if you’re not Chono Ai…” His eyes gleamed with something profound and dark, a storming ocean that hungered. But you weren’t trying to hide anything from him anymore so you stood tall against his approach, even as his figure cast a shadow over you. “…then who are you?”
Synopsis: You are one of the few people in the world without a soulmate. When your friend finally meets hers, you give her the brightest smile, pretending not to feel that ache in your chest. But her soulmate is a bit strange, and you feel like you're the only one who notices.
(Warnings: yandere, dark content, manipulation, infidelity, rape/noncon)
Unmei was your best friend in the entire world.
You met her when you two were still learning to read and write. You were neighbors, classmates, practically attached at the hip. There was a running joke in the neighborhood that you two were sisters in a past life.
She was with you on the night of your 13th birthday, when not a single name scrawled itself in black ink on your wrist.
You’d cried for days. All you’d ever wanted was a soulmate. Finding out the universe decided you didn’t deserve one was heart crushing.
Back then, Unmei looked at her own soulmark with disgust.
“Well, if you don’t have one, then I don’t want a soulmate, either.” She’d declared with a large grin, wiping away your tears. “Besides, Geto Suguru is a stupid name, anyway.”
Even back then, you knew it was a joke. Not a promise. She just wanted you to cheer up. She wasn’t agreeing to be a spinster with you.
Still, when she called you with the news, something broke within you.
“-He’s great! He’s so great!” Her voice crackles through the phone. “I’ve never met someone so kind and gentle. And his face! He’s so handsome. It was love at first sight.”
She excitedly tells you how they met, how he’d tapped her shoulder in the library, asking if she knew where to find a book. She’d only seen a glimpse of his badge, his name, and then the rest was history.
The more she talks, the more you sink. You could almost imagine what she looked like as she spoke. Her cheeks would glow with a warm pink. There would be a sparkle in her eye that makes her look younger. It was so selfish of you to drown in misery when she’s so happy. She’s your closest friend. She deserves better than someone so jaded.
You’re glad she isn’t here in person. You don’t want her to see how bitter you feel.
You close the hole in your heart with cement and faux delight.
“He sounds great,” you hear yourself say.
“When can I meet him?”
~
You’ve never seen someone so tall before.
He wasn’t dressed to stand out. The simple, black coat drapes perfectly against his lean figure. His hair is coiled into an elegant bun, showcasing his neck and black earrings. His face is sharp and edged with beauty.
Unmei tugs him over, looking at him with bright, glimmering eyes. Love. You can see the truth stamped right on her face.
She slides into the seat across from you. He mirrors her. The whispers and noises within the cafe hush their voices a bit.
And yet, you can hear his voice clearly. Low and gentle.
“Did I say it right?” Geto asks right after he says your name. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Unmei flushes.
You spot the expensive watch hanging off his wrist as he reaches over to shake your hand.
“It’s nice to meet you,” he says.
“Change,” his purple eyes murmur, “the end of it all.”
The next hour passes with small talk and introductions. Unmei is the main talker, with Geto adding something in every so often. They work well together; you quietly observe, sipping on watered-down iced coffee. They fit. Pieces of a puzzle. Made for each other.
They are soulmates, after all.
“-It’s why I wanted you to meet him so bad,” Unmei tells you when you finally tune in again. “You two are so similar! It’d be nice to have all of us hang out sometime.”
“That would be nice.” Geto nods along before directing his gaze at you. “Perhaps you could bring your own soulmate, too.”
Your throat tightens. Unmei blanches. You can sense her about to redirect, but you figure it’s best if you bite the bullet now.
“I don’t have one.” You tell him, forcing your voice to sound light.
It takes a second for people to understand what you’re telling them–that you’re one of those. You wait for Geto to get that shameful look of pity everyone gets the moment you tell them. You’ve spent years like this, but it never stops stinging.
No pity. No sympathy.
He leans forward. His eyes sharpen.
“Really?”
You shrug, avoiding his gaze to sip on your coffee. You can still feel his eyes prickle on your skin even after Unmei changes the conversation.
Hours later, she texts you: sooo what’d you think????
You write exactly what she wants to hear.
He’s perfect for you:)
~
Your second interaction with Geto happens without Unmei.
Some days, you liked to wander: turn your brain off, stroll through random shops, admiring the various knick-knacks you could never justify the price enough to purchase. Today, your feet led you into a small bookstore.
The door alerts to your presence with a cheery jingle. The man at the front spares you a lukewarm smile as you trek into his store. The smell of paper and ink greets your nose. It’s a cozy place. Quiet, a stark contrast to the bustling city just outside.
One of your favorite authors recently published a new book. You weren’t sure if this bookstore had it, but you told yourself it wouldn’t hurt to check. You scanned the rows and shelves, drifting around the store to see if you could spot it.
You were so distracted, you didn’t notice him until you quite literally walked into him.
Hands reach out to steady you. Firm but gentle. You look up as a bundle of apologies is ready to spill from your lips. They die once you look into sharp purple eyes.
Geto smiles when his hands release your shoulders.
“Careful there.”
You reanimate at his voice. You step back, mindful of how close he was.
“Sorry,” you tell him, “I–I didn’t see you.”
“I could tell.” His grin widens, and you sheepishly glance down.
“This is a very welcome coincidence,” he continues, “I didn’t know you liked literature as well.”
You helplessly shrug, trying not to show your discomfort. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Geto. He seemed like a nice person, but you were not ready at all for a one-on-one interaction with your friend’s new boyfriend.
“Yeah,” you say when the silence gets too long, “I was just here to see if I could find something in particular…” Just then, your eyes drift up.
You catch the title just then. It’s sitting quietly on the top shelf, leering at you. If only you’d found it sooner, it seems to goad at you; you wouldn’t be stuck in the most awkward situation in the world.
Geto catches your gaze. He glances up at the book.
“Is that the one?” He asks.
You nod. He reaches up and lifts it from its respective spot. You expect him to hand it over immediately, but he seems more interested in examining the cover.
“That sounds interesting.” He comments before handing it to you. “Would you recommend it?”
“I haven’t read it yet.” You admit. “But I’m a big fan of the author.”
He hums in acknowledgement. That’s when you notice his own stash of books he had tucked under his arm.
“You’re a horror fan?” You ask.
“Not particularly,” he admits. “I just wanted to branch out. My friend is a huge horror fan. These were mostly his recommendations.”
You nod. “Unmei also likes horror. The genre at least.” You blab on. “Back when we were in high school, she’d force me to watch all sorts of slasher movies, and then she’d get so scared she’d beg me to let her sleep over.”
On those days, you’d wake up to her snoring all over your pillows. Later, when you teased her about it, she’d laugh it off with red all over her face.
Those days were tinged with nostalgia–back when it was just you and Unmei.
You expect Geto to appreciate the snapshot of his soulmate’s past. That’s why he’s making small talk with you in the first place, right? To get to know her better.
Something flickers across his eyes. It was barely a moment before his face changed to deep sincerity, but you caught it.
Boredom.
You were stumped. How could someone be so blatantly uninterested in their soulmate? Or maybe it was you he couldn’t care less about? Or perhaps you just imagined it entirely?
You feel like you should confront him about it.
“Sorry,” you say instead, “ I need to head out now.”
“Of course.” He immediately steps aside to let you pass through the cramped shelves.
You expect that to be the end of it, but you can hear his footsteps behind you.
You almost considered abandoning your book entirely, just so you could escape the bookstore. Instead, you flash a tense smile at the cashier, who beams back.
“Find everything okay?” He asks.
“We did,” Geto tells him cheerily. He stands right next to you. You can almost feel the coat he wears brush against your shoulder.
Sometimes you wish you weren’t so nonconfrontational. Maybe you would’ve fought a bit more when Geto casually plucks the book from your loose grip, placing it on top of his own stack.
“All together, please.” He tells the cashier, before he turns to you. “I got it.”
“No, it’s fine.” You’re finally able to speak up. It’s too late. The man is already grabbing the bag and saying his regards to the worker behind the counter. He holds the door open for you.
You meekly thank him.
“I can pay you back.” You immediately say.
Geto shakes his head. “It’s fine. Think of it as a gift.” He hands your book into your twitching hands. “A token to the start of a good friendship.”
You had this bad habit of feeling indebted to someone if they paid for you, to the point where you would bend backwards for them if they asked.
Something tells you that being in that situation with Geto is a terrible idea.
You still accept, thanking him as sincerely as you can.
“That reminds me.” Geto continues, pulling out his phone. “We should exchange contacts. We do share a favorite person after all. It would be wise to keep in touch.” He tells you with a steady grin.
Your stomach flips. You don’t want to. You genuinely don’t want to.
But the book is heavy in your hands.
When Geto offers to walk you to the station, you finally gather the courage to decline. You thank him repeatedly for his kindness, slipping away before he can coax you into doing anything more.
He was nothing but polite to you
Kind even.
But there’s something so horribly wrong about Geto Suguru.
—
Geto and Unmei moved fast.
They became an official couple one week after they met. Two months later, Unmei moved into his place.
They moved fast, as most soulmates do. After all, if two people are destined to be together forever, why wait? Why not get the hard part over with first so you can enjoy forever more?
At least, that’s how you saw it.
The party was subdued but extremely upscale. Geto’s apartment was something else entirely. Luxurious floors with open spaces. When you looked outside the spotless glass, you could see the glimmering lights of the city far beneath your feet.
You felt like you could fall through the glass and crash into those lights. You’d shatter into a million pieces, twinkling like the stars above.
“Would you like another drink?” A voice asks.
You glance up. Nanami Kento’s eyes remain on you. You suddenly remember what you were doing.
You look down at your cup—just water. You were driving home tonight. “I’m fine, but thank you.”
Nanami nods, taking a swing of his own cup. The amber-colored liquid swirled around the glass.
Out of all of Geto’s friends, you think you liked Nanami the most. He was quiet, straightforward, polite, and a complete gentleman. He was one of you, you later found out—someone with un inked wrists. When Unmei dragged him across the room to ‘keep each other company’, you thought it was another one of her schemes.
Well, it definitely still was her scheme, but you didn’t mind it too much. Nanami was good company. He was much more preferable to Geto’s other friend. The tall one with blue eyes and white hair. The one that kept staring at you like he knew something you didn’t.
“So how do you know Geto?” You ask.
His lips thinned. You almost smile.
“Old classmates.” He tells you. “He, along with a couple of others, was in the grade above me.”
He seemed exhausted even thinking about it. You wonder how wild his upper-level students were.
“What about you and Unmei?” He asks after a bit.
You hide your smile behind your glass.
“We were practically raised together.” You start. “Attached at the hip, ever since we were kids.”
You two used to plan your weddings together. She wanted her kid to marry yours. Every day you were at each other’s houses. Every weekend was slumber parties and sleepovers.
When kids used to mock you for not having a name, she was the one who defended you. She was the one who chased off bullies and wiped away your tears.
She’s been in your life all your life. You can’t remember a time she wasn’t.
“Hm,” Nanami comments, “you two sound close.”
“We are,” you agree, even when you can taste the uncertainty on your tongue.
She stood a little way away. Unmei looked borderline unrecognizable from the one you knew just a few months ago. Her hair was pushed up from her face, a stark contrast to the looser hairstyles she used to prefer. Her dress was sleek and glamorous. She probably wore hundreds of dollars on her wrist. She blended right into the elite group she was currently laughing with.
Nanami keeps talking about something. You hum along, unable to take your eyes off of her. You keep watching until you can’t anymore.
Sometime later, you find yourself on the balcony. The murmur of the crowd has dwindled behind you. It’s cold, you didn’t bring a jacket. There are goosebumps littered across your arms, but you don’t want to go inside yet. You’re not sure if you can continue looking at Unmei as she changes into something you can’t reach anymore.
There it was again. That bitterness. The guilt washes it down all over again.
Footsteps. Someone takes their place right next to you. At first, you think it’s Nanami’s attempt to restart the conversation.
Geto leans over the railing, watching the city below.
“It’s a pretty view, isn’t it?” He asks, voice gentle and soft. “It’s a huge reason why I bought this place.”
You flex your fingers. The air suddenly gets colder.
“Yeah.” You give, listening to the muted sounds inside. “It’s beautiful.”
That’s the truth. The city lights twinkled and buzzed with life. Part of you wanted to sit there and count each one. You might be stuck there for years.
“It’s even more beautiful in the mornings,” Geto continues, “there’s a gentle fog that covers the city, and the horizon is this pale pink. I really hope you see it one day.”
You shift, a bit uncomfortable by the confession. You’re sure he doesn’t mean anything by it.
“You have a lovely home.” You finally say. “It’s very beautiful. I’m sure you're ecstatic to share this with Unmei.”
A genuine smile lifts your face as you think back to the times Unmei gushed about meeting her future soulmate. She’d planned everything: the house, the car, the dog. You’d sat there quietly, listening, just happy to be in her life.
“I bet you must have waited years to finally meet her.” You tell Geto as you admire the view. “You’re a very lucky man.”
You expect a laugh. You expect a bashful acceptance.
“I never wanted to meet my soulmate, initially.”
For the first time in the conversation, you truly look at Geto. He’s staring right back. His purple eyes are darker in the dim lighting. They’re almost a muddy brown.
“When I was younger, I had a grim opinion of soulmates.” His jaw tenses. You catch the movement. “The idea of having someone I was tied to by fate used to sicken me. It felt like control. It felt like something cosmic wrote out my future, and I was entirely helpless to it.”
You can’t pull your eyes away. Whatever you were hearing, no matter how jarring, felt honest. You were drawn to it–a bee to a flower.
“I think now, I’ve mostly changed my mind.” He shrugs. “The bond isn’t truly control. Rather, it’s a path, guiding us to something far more desirable.”
You blink. What could you say to that?
Thankfully, Geto doesn’t let you fluster for long. He steps ever so slightly closer. It’s already too close, but you can’t move. You’re stuck in your spot. Paralyzed.
“And, if anything.” He leans down, voice suddenly hushed. “I’d consider you the lucky one.”
“Me?”
He smiles. Amusement laces his lips. Long fingers reach for your arm. He slowly turns your hand, showing your blank, un-inked wrist.
“Yes,” he tells you, “this is truly lucky.”
You see it then. It flashes right across his purple eyes.
Jealousy.
It’s so hateful, it nearly makes you panic. You stumble back, out of his hold. The meeker part of you urges you to run. As far as you can. Run before–
“Are you alright?”
Concerned sincerity etches across Geto’s face as he reaches out to stabilize you. Hands press on your shoulders before they slip away.
You avert your gaze.
“I’m fine.” It’s too sharp. You force yourself to soften your tone. “I guess it’s a little chilly out.”
Geto barely wastes a moment. He slips off his jacket and settles it onto your shoulders before you can protest. His cologne clings to the leather. The smell of sandalwood and cinnamon.
“Keep it.” He stops you when you try to take it off. “Stay out here and enjoy the view a bit more. It’s truly breathtaking.”
You watch as he slips back inside, playing the perfect host to his guests. The air is still cold, but you can finally breathe again.
Later that night, Suguru gets on one knee and proposes.
Unmei says yes.
~
There’s a way to reject the soul bond. You’ve seen it happen exactly once in your life.
You were fourteen, watching from the stairs as your mom comforted your next-door neighbor. She was one of the unlucky ones. Her soul bond was filled with nothing but rage and possession. You could see the evidence of it on the bruises on her soft skin. The swelling black eye.
She kept mumbling something of how sick she was to be tied to him. How she’d rather have no soulmate than one so vile. Your mother kept hushing her, insisting on calling the police, letting her stay the night.
She’s not listening. It’s like she’s in a trance as she rises on two shaky feet, drifting towards the kitchen. You find yourself following.
She pulls out a knife, and your mother screams when she digs into the ink on her own wrist.
She stopped bleeding before the ambulance arrived. There’s a gigantic smile on her face the entire time she’s talking to the paramedics.
You’ve never seen someone look so free before.
~
Planning a wedding takes time and money. It’s a good thing that Geto is swimming in the latter.
The restaurant is upscale and practically swathed in elites. You feel very much out of place with your dress that probably wasn’t even worth the cheapest thing on the menu. Geto assured you plenty of times that this was his treat. Ever since the proposal, you’d been swamped in wedding preparations. This dinner was supposed to be a thank you.
Tonight is a celebration of two people.
You, the maid of honor.
And Gojo, the best man.
The two of you sat across from the engaged couple. Unmei was beaming the entire night. The ring was glistening on her finger. You’ve seen it all over her social media, not to mention the hours she spent gushing about how perfect the ring and the proposal was.
But you remembered she hated cluster rings. She used to call them tacky. And she’s told you her perfect proposal over and over again. She’s always wanted it somewhere outdoors, where they’re alone and surrounded by nature.
The complete opposite of how Suguru did it.
“I can barely sleep.” Unmei gushes to you while the two men continue their own conversation. “The wedding is still two months away, but I can barely sleep.”
You give her a comforting smile, taking another sip of your water. Dinner was already eaten, but you hadn’t tasted a single thing. It felt like cement sludge down your throat.
“I bet that’s normal,” you say, “It’s your day. You should be excited.”
“Most nights I just dream about flower arrangements.” She frowns before she sits up again. “Shit, the flowers. Please tell me you—“
“Don’t worry, I already booked the florist you were talking to,” you immediately coddle. “Everything is going to be perfect.”
She visibly relaxes, leaning back in her seat. “Only because you’re here.” She tells you. “I only got this far ‘cuz of you, y'know that?”
You smile. Her face brightens.
“Oh!” She exclaims. “Are you planning on bringing anyone? Someone special?”
The two men gradually quieted. You arch your brow.
“Probably not,” you say, “besides I’ll have a lot of stuff to do on the day of. I won’t have time for a date.”
“What about bringing Nanami?” She pipes up. “I’m sure he can entertain himself while you’re busy.”
Someone’s gaze stings your skin. You ignore it.
“Why would I bring him?”
She scoffs.
“Don’t act like that.” She chides. “I saw how into you he was at the party. Please tell me you got his number.”
You did. And you two text every now and then. Non-soulmates are rare, so even if you don’t end up in a relationship, it’s nice to keep in touch.
“Nanami?” Geto echoes, finally making it known that he was eavesdropping.
Unmei turns to him with a smile. “I introduced them a while ago. Aren’t they just perfect for each other?"
‘Is she saying that just because neither of us has soulmates?’ You try not to feel so harshly about it.
Geto smiles, but it lacks any warmth.
Gojo turns to you.
“I didn’t know you met Nanami?” He sports a wide grin. Almost like a sneer.
You shrug. “We talked for a bit sometime back.”
“I feel bad for you. I know I’m not supposed to talk crap about my juniors, but that guy is so boring.” He rolled his eyes. “He was even worse in high school, if you can believe that.”
“I didn’t think he was all that bad.” You counter.
“Ah, I get it.” Gojo nods. “You’re into the quiet, studious type of guy.”
You shift in your seat. “It’s nothing that dramatic.” You respond. “He was just really nice.”
“Hm.” Gojo takes a swing at his glass. “I guess I see wedding bells in your future, then.”
“Satoru.”
Geto’s voice is clipped. His eyes have shadows. Gojo puts his hands up in an ‘I surrender’ motion. There’s a lazy smile on his mouth. The atmosphere is so strained that even Unmei’s smile weakens. You take another sip of your water. You really wish you’d ordered something stronger. You had no idea tonight would be this tense.
Unmei quickly turns the conversation to something else. She brings up more wedding plans. The rest of the night is spent ignoring the elephant in the room.
Sometime after that, you and Gojo end up outside the restaurant, alone. Unmei and Geto are still sorting out the bill. You spot them lingering inside. Unmei is talking animatedly to a waitress. Geto is scrolling on his phone.
You don’t have much in common with Gojo, and you’re happy to keep the silence as the two of you wait. He, however, doesn’t seem to share your thoughts.
He leans over as you watch the engaged couple.
“So, how long do you think they’ll last?”
You glare up at him. He grins.
“That’s not funny.” You immediately rebuff. “Why would you say that?”
Satoru shrugs.
“C’mon, you can’t say you’re the tiniest bit doubtful they’ll stay together, right?”
You shake your head.
“They’re soulmates,” you respond. Their companionship was written in the stars from the start. They are a certainty. “It’s tradition.”
“Soulmates don’t always stay together,” Satoru says, “and Suguru isn’t one for tradition.”
You say nothing. Gojo only takes it as a sign to pester you further.
“Wanna make a bet with me?”
You narrow your eyes at him.
“I’ll bet all the money I have that they’ll break up right before the wedding.” He thinks for a moment. “Maybe on the day of: Suguru loves being dramatic.”
Your lips curl into a sneer.
“I thought you were supposed to be Geto’s friend?”
What kind of person bets their friend’s relationship will fail?
“I am his friend,” Gojo argues. “I’m only saying this ‘cuz I know him so well. No offense to your bestie, but she’s not his type.”
“No.” He tilts his head, studying you. “He prefers someone a bit more…docile.”
You shift, trying to hide your discomfort underneath his gaze.
“They’re coming out.” You watch as the couple shifts closer. “Please don’t tell them you’re betting they’ll break up.”
Gojo laughs.
“Aye, captain.”
~
Unmei stumbles into your apartment at 1 am.
You’d forgotten you’d given her a spare key. When you woke up to muffled footsteps and murmurs, you thought someone was robbing you. The influx of emotions you felt as you rushed out with a baseball bat, only to discover your friend draped across your couch.
Your very drunk friend draped across your couch.
“Unmei?” You shake her shoulder.
She barely moves. You do it again. She finally groans.
“Hi.” She rasps out. Her throat is groggy with exhaustion and alcohol.
“How…” You try to find the proper words. “How did you get here? Did you drive?”
“Uber.” She murmurs. “Sorry…I…sorry. Didn’t–didn’t wanna go back. Didn’t wanna see him.”
Her words are stilted, but you think you’re starting to get the picture.
“Did you and Suguru get into a fight?” You ask gently.
She laughs. It sounds bitter.
“You have to talk, to fight.” She tells you, and you want to press her on that, but she’s talking again.
“Suguru’s sad you don’t like him.”
“What?” You lean closer so you can hear her properly.
“Suguru–” She snuggles deeper into your couch”--he’s sad you don’t like him. Why do you not like him?”
“I like him.” You try to smile. “Of course, I like him. Why wouldn’t I?”
Her eyes are open. The way she stares at you makes your defenses weaken.
“I don’t know, Mei.” You eventually respond. “He’s always rubbed me the wrong way. I…I just find him a little weird.”
You want to tell her about the strange quips Geto’s made. The stuff Gojo said at the restaurant still eats at you. You want to tell her all of those things.
Unmei doesn’t let you.
She sits up so fast, you’re almost worried for her. You’re about to tell her to be more careful, but then you notice the look in her eyes.
Spiteful.
It’s directed solely at you.
“Are you fucking joking right now?” She spits out. “My soulmate is going out of his way to be nice to you, but you’re calling him weird?”
You have to back up as she stumbles to her feet. Her words are slurred and hard to decipher, but the intent is as clear as day.
“He doesn’t even like you.” She rants. “Why would he? For fuck’s sake you don’t even have a soulmate, and now you’re calling mine weird? You’re jealous. You’ve always been jealous of me, and I’m so sick of doing charity work.”
You blink. It feels like your heart’s been torn in two.
“Unmei…?” It’s the only thing you can even think to say to someone who you thought loved you. Tears well in your eyes.
Unmei knows how sensitive you are about soulmates. She always knew. As bad as your fights got in the past, it’s the one line she hadn’t crossed.
Until now.
She realizes what she said. Unmei slumps almost immediately, fully breaking down.
“I’m sorry.” She blubbers. “I–I’m so sorry, I just.”
You push aside your feelings as you always have to accommodate hers. She buries her face in her hands. Her shoulders shake. When you wrap your arms around her shoulders, she easily leans into your warmth.
“I shouldn’t have said that.” She sobs. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” It’s not. “You’re having a bad day. Just sleep it off, okay? We can talk in the morning.”
She says nothing as you leave her on the couch. Minutes later, you return with a blanket, gently settling it over her still body.
“I saw him with another girl today.”
You freeze. Unmei stares blankly at the wall.
“He barely talks when we’re alone. He never talks. I don’t even know why I followed him, but I saw them together. They got into his car.” Her voice cracks. There’s a muted voice in the back of your head to comfort her.
You don’t move.
“I don’t know what they did. I…I just don’t know. That’s part of his job, right? Sometimes he takes his clients out to dinners and stuff.”
She looks up at you. “And–and everything’s so different when we’re alone. He’s so much warmer with you. Whenever we plan something, he’s always asking if you want to come along too. I just don’t get it.”
The apartment is quiet. Distinctly, you can hear a clock faintly ticking somewhere.
“Do you think he’s cheating?” You ask.
“Do you think he would?” Unmei asks right back.
You think of being honest. You think about telling her you genuinely don’t know. Then, you remember the anger in her voice just minutes prior. The hurt is still fresh on your mind. It’s instinct to cower and placate after you’ve been burned so harshly.
Just like always, you tell her exactly what she wants to hear.
“Of course, he’s nice to me.” You hear yourself say. “He probably feels bad for me.” Because you have no soulmate.
“Unmei, you don’t see the way he looks at you.” Does he ever look at her?
“He can’t stop talking about you.” You can’t remember a single conversation you and Geto had about her.
“He loves you. I’m sure of it.” Are you?
A shy smile creeps up on her face. You can feel yourself shatter.
“Really?” She asks.
You settle beside her, squeezing her fingers.
“Trust me.” Words feel like sand on your tongue. “You are going to make each other so happy.”
She’s smiling. You think you’re smiling too, but you’re not sure of anything anymore.
She closes her eyes again. You sit there for a few minutes. When you think she’s asleep, you get up to leave, but her voice stops you.
“I thought she was you.”
“You what?” You ask.
She nuzzles the blanket closer to her face.
“The girl. I thought she was you, but she wasn’t. She looked like you. It was the weirdest thing.”
You think she’s about to say more. She doesn’t.
The next day, Unmei acts as if nothing had happened. She’s laughing and talking during breakfast. You still think about what she said, hours after she left.
~
The week before the wedding, you finally decide you no longer want to be friends with Unmei.
You don’t hate her, you could never hate her, but it’s clear you might’ve valued your friendship differently than she did.
You don’t think you want to boycott the wedding entirely. It’d taken months to plan. The money was already spent. You don’t want to ruin her big day.
But you don’t think you’ll be taking her calls as frequently. You don’t think you’ll drop everything for her anymore.
For now, you just want a bit of distance.
Now that you’ve decided to no longer prioritize her, your life is slowly becoming easier. Instead of doing everything yourself, you’re delegating tasks to the other bridesmaids. You actually make time for yourself instead of fizzing with nerves by the phone, wondering when she’ll call you to her side.
You can finally breathe again.
But old habits die hard.
I need you. Please come.
Unmei texting you in the middle of the night wasn’t a huge issue. But she never sends you this type of message. Formal, short, panicked.
You stare at the words, reading them over and over again. You promised yourself you wouldn’t do this again.
But what if she needed you?
You’ve been to Suguru’s apartment a few times after the party. It was mostly to pick stuff up or help Unmei. There’s usually a lively atmosphere with warm lights.
Tonight, as you tap on the door, you can’t help but notice how cold the atmosphere feels.
He doesn’t leave you waiting. Geto opens the door with a pleasant smile on his face. His grin widens when he locks eyes with you.
“Come in.” Geto pulls the door back.
You hesitate, but eventually you step in. Not much has changed since your last visit. There are fresh flowers in a vase. Something’s cooking in the kitchen. Still, the apartment feels emptier, somehow.
“I wasn’t expecting you.” Geto smiles. “This is a pleasant surprise.”
You give an awkward smile, shifting your weight.
“I’m sorry, I won’t be here for long,” you tell him before shifting your gaze to the bedroom, “Is she in there?”
Geto tilts his head.
“Are you looking for Unmei?” He slowly asks.
When you nod, he shakes his head.
“She headed out for her bachelorette party hours ago.”
For a moment, you thought you misheard him.
“Her what?”
“Her bachelorette party. I’m so sorry, I assumed you were with her. It’s why I was surprised you showed up.” He admits sheepishly.
“Bachelorette party.” You repeat.
She told you she didn’t want a bachelorette party. She called it a cliché. And now, when you decide to put your feelings aside and reach out, you find out she left you in the fucking dust as she enjoys her night.
You were so fucking done with her.
“Right.” Your throat feels tight. “Ok, then…I should go.”
A firm hand on your shoulder stops you from walking out the door. Geto stares at you with an empathic frown on his face.
“You shouldn’t leave like this.” He urges.
You try to pull away. His grip barely budges.
“Geto, it’s fine–”
“You should eat something at least. It’d be rude to send you away after you’ve been such a good friend to my fiancé.”
That stung even though you know he didn’t mean it like that.
“Okay.” You relent. “Just for a bit.”
He smiles.
“Oh, and call me Suguru from now on.” He suggests. “I think we’re close enough to drop the formalities, right?”
Suguru manages to get you to sit at the dining table. It was already set for two. A little while later, he comes back with two plates and a bottle of wine.
The food smelled delicious, but it tasted like ash in your mouth. You couldn’t find it within yourself to enjoy it. Betrayal made everything taste like nothing.
You don’t consider yourself a drinker, but Geto manages to refill your glass twice throughout the night.
Eventually, Suguru acknowledges the elephant in the room.
“Did you two fight?”
That actually made you laugh. It’s harsh and bitter. You gulp down the last of your wine.
“No,” you say, “I just didn’t fall to her feet this one time.”
That’s all you were for her. Not a friend. Not a companion. You were just some pet she could keep at her side. Bark when she said bark. Sit when she said sit. Roll over when she said. She was treating you like a dog who forgot a trick or two. You feel so pathetic.
You’re so upset, you have to stand up. Suguru only watches you pace back and forth.
“I’ve put up with her bullshit for months, y’know?” You don’t think you’re talking to him at all. You’re just ranting. “Whatever she wanted, I got her. I’ve spent hundreds of hours planning her perfect day with her. And yet, the one time I give an opinion, she immediately blows up at me and–and says all this awful shit, and I have to forgive her.”
Suguru rises with you, blocking your path. You look up at him. He’s blurry from all the tears in your eyes.
“She’s stressed with the wedding,” he tries to console. “I’m sure she isn’t trying to do any harm.”
You shake your head. Somehow, you find yourself sitting on the sofa. Suguru’s joined you. You can still taste the wine on your tongue. You’re drunk. You’re erratic. You’ve stopped giving a fuck.
“What about the stress she’s putting me under?” You argue back. “I tried to be a good friend to her, and she constantly treats me like garbage. And it’s all because I don’t have a soulmate? When has that ever mattered for her?”
Unmei had always protected you from anyone who mocked you for being incomplete. Other. She was your shield.
You can still remember her voice ringing through your head. The hatred. You’ve always been jealous of me, and I’m so sick of doing charity work.
You bury your face in your hands.
“All I ever wanted to do was be there for her.” You sob into your fingers. “Why is she shutting me out like this?”
You wanted to go back to how things were months ago. Back when you had someone so close, it felt like having a sister. Back before–
Suguru gathers your limp form in his arms. The scent of sandalwood and cinnamon overwhelms your senses.
“You poor thing,” he coos, and you melt into his calming words because you’ve never felt more alone in your life. “It must have been so very hard on you.”
You don’t know how long you sit there, snuggled into his chest, crying your heart out. It feels like minutes pass before your tears stop flowing, and your breathing slows down.
He pulls you away from his chest. You follow. You’re still heartbroken, but now you’re embarrassed for crying on your best friend’s fiancé’s shoulder. You look up, opening your mouth to apologize.
Suguru’s lips meet yours.
It’s barely a brush. You feel his fingers caress your cheek before you pull back.
“What are you–” your voice dies in your throat “What–”
“You want to feel better, don’t you?” He asks, voice terrifyingly gentle. “I can help with that.”
Your mouth opens and closes like a fish. When he tries to touch you again, you jump up.
“I didn’t…I never…” Your mind is spinning. You don’t know what to say.
“She’s your soulmate.” It’s the only thing you can think to say. “How–how could you think of doing that to your…”
Suguru tilts his head.
“We both know how stubborn she can get.” He speaks slowly, as if he were speaking to a child. “Look at how much you do for her. You are constantly bending over backwards. Aren’t you tired of doing all this charity work? Don’t you want someone else to take care of you for a change?”
Something clicks in your mind.
Charity Work. Unmei’s words, but that didn’t sound like her at all.
It sounded more like something Geto Suguru would say.
“It’s you.” Something cold splashes across your spine. “You’ve been putting a wedge between Unmei and me for months.”
He’s tried separating you from her as soon as he walked into Unmei’s life. All this time, he was speaking cruelties into her ear about you, manipulating her, turning her against you.
And Unmei fell for it because she thought her soulmate could never hurt her.
Suguru stands up. His smile is gone. You’ve never seen him like this before. You’ve seen him upset, bored, amused. This is different.
Every emotion on his face is gone. It’s like he’s stone.
He calls your name. It’s a warning. You don’t heed it.
“No, no,” you hiss out, “I don’t know what sick game you’re playing, but I’d never break her heart like this, no matter how angry I am at her. I’m not like you.”
You start for the door. You needed to find Unmei. Fuck the petty fight. Fuck everything. You needed to find her and explain everything to her so that things could return to normal.
You never make it to the door.
There’s a harsh grip on your wrist. Before you can even struggle, you’re flung back against the couch. You collapse on top of the stiff pillows.
Suguru’s quick to cage you in. Within moments, he’s trapped you underneath him. A hand reaches up to trap both of your wrists. His body is right in between your legs, pressing himself right up to you.
You kick. You scream. A hand clamps down on your mouth.
Suguru waits patiently as your rebellion tapers out. You lie underneath him, panting and utterly defeated.
A tear trickles down your cheek. He wipes it away, adoration at his fingertips. It makes you sick.
“I really wanted our first time to be romantic.” He sighs, genuinely sounding disappointed. “I spent the entire day planning our little date. And then you had to get all hysterical.” He clicks his tongue.
“I think you’re spending a bit too much time with my fiancé, Dear.”
You flinch at his words. He grins.
“At the same time, I can’t say I’m not happy with how the night ended.” He releases your mouth. You prepare to yell again. “You can scream if you want to, dear. I’m sure you’d like the whole floor coming by to watch me fuck you. I don’t mind an audience.”
Horror rushes down your body.
“What do you mean?” Suguru says nothing, leaning back to release his tie. “Geto-Suguru,” you beg. “You can’t really mean that. You can’t do this. What about Unmei? What about your soulmate?”
“I thought I told you this already.” He wraps the tie securely around your wrist before considering you.
“Soulmates are paths, guiding us to our true destination.”
He presses his forehead to yours. You lay there, utterly helpless, staring into his purple eyes.
“Through her, I was able to find my true other half.” He confesses. “Someone that perfectly fits me.”
If he were another man, if he had another name, you might have fallen in love right there.
But this man has your friend’s name written on his wrist, and it makes you want to vanish into the Earth.
He rises back up with a grin.
“What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart.”
You’re shaking your head as he reaches down for your shirt. It’s pulled off of you within moments, revealing your bare flesh. Your skin trembles against his fingers as he explores the skin on your stomach, pushing his hand up until it reaches the bottom of your bra.
Your tits are exposed to the cold air as he grabs them. Curious. Exploring. Nausea builds in your stomach.
“You should relax, love.” He urges as his hand travels down. “You could make yourself sick from all that crying.”
He acts as if he cares for you, even when you know he couldn’t care less. You can feel his heat pressing up against your thigh. It’s a blunt foreshadowing of his true desires.
The silk against your wrists tightens every time you move. The wine isn’t helping either. You feel sluggish, almost feverish. You lie there, completely limp, watching as he picks at your pants. They don’t have much of a fight before he’s dragging them off your body completely, leaving you with just your cotton panties.
The cold settles on your bare thighs. A large hand settles on your upper leg. He squeezes. You jolt.
Suguru’s kissing you again. It’s harsher than the first time. More teeth, like he intends to swallow you whole. He squeezes your chin, keeping you in place so he can continue to devour you. For a moment, you debate biting his tongue off, before you quickly bat it away. The thought of him getting violent, even worse, terrifies you.
But how could he get worse?
He pulls away with a satisfied sigh. The hand on your thigh lifts to your clothed slit. You don’t realize you’re wet until his fingers slip underneath your panties.
There’s a slight hitch in his breathing.
“Is this for me?” You can practically taste the victory in his voice. “How sweet.”
A few moments later, your panties are torn away, too. Your legs are tangled with the thin cloth, leaving you utterly defenseless as he spreads your thighs apart.
“No,” you’re telling him. “Don’t–No, no–”
He hushes you with a quiet whisper, and then his mouth is on your pussy.
Your thighs immediately fall onto his shoulders as he ate you out. There was a rhythm to it. His tongue lapped at your slit before curling at your clit. Immediately, you reacted. Your thighs flexed, threatening to clamp over his head. Something hot coiled in your belly as he sucked on your pussy.
Your protests eventually gave way to sharp gasps and whines as he continued to tongue-fuck you. You think you’re still crying, but its interrupted by another toe-curling mewl. You don’t have the ability to hold them in. They force themselves past your lips and into the frigid air. You could feel Suguru smile against your clit. You’re so wet you’re probably dripping all over the couch, but you think Suguru couldn’t care less.
He lifts you up by the hips. You let out a yelp as he crams his tongue into your hole, drinking the entirety of you.
“That’s it.” His voice is muffled by your pussy. It’s slurred. Drunk. “Lemme’ hear you.”
You obey, helpless to do anything else. Your mind is swirling with self-hatred as you feel yourself approaching the edge. You can’t do anything to stop it. Your hips move by themselves. Your pussy clenches.
Your orgasm was a tiny hitch before you completely came apart. Suguru keeps you there, latched onto your clit like a man starved, until you finally come down from your high.
You lay there, panting, completely spent. Suguru rises from his spot in between your legs. He wipes at his face, never taking his eyes off of you.
The kiss he gives you is terrifyingly soft. Almost sweet. You can taste yourself on his tongue. He gently holds your chin like you’re the most delicate thing in the world.
If you closed your eyes, you could pretend it’s anyone else. Not Suguru. Not your friend’s fiancé. Not her soulmate.
But Suguru doesn’t care about you enough to let you have that fantasy.
“Look at me.”
His voice is too soft to be demanding, but the order is clear from his tone.
Slowly, your eyes drift back open.
Suguru stands over you as if this were his rightful place. You can see his cock, fully unfurled from his pants. The mushroom tip has a bead of glistening, white pre-cum as he slowly aligns it to your battered pussy.
You think the worst part is his eyes.
Soft. Gentle. He stares at you the way no one else has.
Love.
You want to cry again, but you think you’ve run out of tears.
His nonchalant demeanor is cracked. His pupils are flared with lust. He grunts when he slides his swollen tip across your folds. Pussy juice is smeared all over his cock as he does it again and again.
“I’ve waited so long for this.” He sighs, and you don’t think he’s talking to you. “No one is taking this away from me.”
Not even you.
You should be grateful he cares enough to be gentle. His cock is huge, big enough to split you at the seams if he wanted to. You still he lowers himself into your hole. Immediately, your walls flex, squeezing his cock.
Suguru growls and bits his lip. It’s clear whatever control he has left, he’s only holding it by a hair.
It’s almost a relief when he fully sheathes himself inside you. He nearly collapses, face ducking into the crook of your neck. Your toes curl when he hits a spongy spot inside of you that nearly makes you see stars.
“Fuck.” He hisses, voice sharp. “That’s it. That’s it. Just take it.”
It’s an unsteady pace. Brutal, almost mind-breaking as he continues to fuck himself into you. You can hear his ragged breathing in your ear as he drives himself deeper and deeper into your cunt. You can barely keep up with the motions. Your thighs shake with the momentum.
You think you’re saying something, and then your mind is wiped clean with another thrust. It’s an endless cycle of torturous pleasure.
“Suguru–I–I can’t.” You’re blabbering. “I can’t, I just can’t–”
“You can.” He urges back, fingers reaching down to rub your clit. You arch, back lifting up from the pillows. “I know you can, darling. Look at that. Look at you. Look at how well you take me.”
“This was how it was always meant to be.” You can’t decipher the tone of his words. Your mind is too preoccupied with the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his cock. “You were practically made for me.” A broken wail passes out from your lips. He laughs.
At this point, you think he’s too far gone to even know what he’s saying.
“I love you so much, darling.” He leans back into your neck, biting down on the flesh. “No one can take you away from me. You are all for me.”
At least, you hope that’s the case. You can’t bear to think his words have a semblance of intent.
Your mind goes white as you cum on his cock. Your eyes roll back, your back arches up like a bitch in heat as you fall off the edge. Your pussy milks him, clamping down hard as you ride your high.
There’s a moan in your ear before something hot pumps into your pussy, painting your insides with white. There’s so much, even with his dick still plugging your cunt, some still manages to leak out, dripping down your ass.
He takes a shaky breath, and then he’s kissing you again. That same delicate touch he loves to take after he breaks you. You can taste the festering love through his lips and tongue. You let him, too exhausted to fight back.
You think he’s saying something. You can’t hear him over the throbbing in your head. The tone he uses is soft as lips press against your temple.
And then, his cock slips out of your ragged cunt before slamming back in all over again.
~
Mei<3 Missed Call(23)
‘Where are you’
‘Where are you’
‘Please dont do this to me’
‘I’m begging you’
‘I love you so much’
‘I’m sorry for everything I’ve done’
‘Plase don’t do this to me’
‘He’s my soulmate, why would you take him from me’
‘Please don’t do this to me’
…
‘You’re just a selfish slut. Take him then. See if I care.’
Ever since you woke up, all you could do was stare at Unmei’s texts. You’ve read them over and over.
The words never change. Each line cuts you deeper than before.
You’re no longer on the sofa. Sometime last night, Suguru must have moved you. You sit up on a luxurious king-sized bed with silk sheets. Your body is aching and sore. There are marks all over your body.
The man who made them sleeps peacefully right next to you.
You’re still naked. It hurts to move. All what you can do is read Unmei’s texts over and over as you wipe away the sharp tears trickling down your cheek.
The curtains of Suguru’s bedroom are open. It’s early morning. The beginnings of a sunrise creep over the horizon. Buildings are obscured by a light fog, and you can barely make out the outline of the city. The sky is illuminated with pinks and light oranges. It’s the prettiest sight you’ve ever seen.
You don’t notice he’s awake until Suguru’s muscled chest presses against your back. You flinch as his head settles into the crook of your neck. He inhales your scent.
“I told you, didn’t I?” He murmurs against your skin. “It’s a beautiful view. You’ll get to see this every day, from now on.”
You don’t bother batting him away. You just stare down at your phone. There’s no new message from Unmei. She blocked you hours ago.
Fingers pluck your phone from your loose grip. Suguru adjusts himself, wrapping an arm around your waist as he sifts through her panicked messages. He clicks his tongue.
“Never expected anything more from her.” He sighs before he tosses the phone in the mess of blankets. He kisses your neck. “She’ll probably come by today. Hopefully, she’ll move out without much of an issue.” He remarks casually. Dully. Complete disinterest.
Why? You want to ask him. Why you? Why would he–why would anyone–hate you enough to do this?
But then, you remember the look of love he gave you as he rammed his cock deeper. You don’t know how you’d be able to hold yourself together if you saw that again.
For the sake of your sanity, you ask:
“What did you tell her?”
Suguru’s fingers curl around your stomach. You can hear the slightest hint of irritation in his breath.
“Nothing.” He eventually confesses. You want to yell at him, call him a liar. You don’t get the chance.
“She must have felt the bond sever.”
You notice it, just then.
The wrappings on his wrist.
Your heart is pounding in your chest as you grab at it. Suguru lets you unravel his work, silently watching each layer of gauze drop away.
It’s ugly. The skin is raised and irritated. It will probably leave behind a scar.
Not a single trace of Unmei’s name is left on Suguru’s skin.
You want to scream, but your voice is frozen in your throat.
Can't stop thinking about a yandere, who really hates you.
CW: Gore, smut, choking
He thinks he's never felt so strongly before. All these overwhelming emotions swirling in his heart, gnawing on it so hard that it almost makes him throw up from pain.
It's not like you did anything to him. No. You're... So... Fucking nice. It pisses him off. He can't say what exactly, but something about you just irks him.
Sometimes he imagines smashing your face in with a heavy, blunt object, hitting it until all the bones break, the skin tears and your insides come out. Maybe then he can keep it out of his mind for a minute. He also imagines reaching his hand into the remains and squishing whatever mess is left. He likes the thought of that.
Either ways, whether it's your face or a sticky mess of its remains, he can't stop thinking about it. You haunt his mind as if he did something awful to you in your last lives. Sometimes, he thinks you do it on purpose - he thinks, you have some weird psychic powers and scramble his thoughts every time you do something to provoke him. You have to be doing this on purpose, otherwise, what kind of a psychopath is he, being so mad at somebody just existing.
When he thinks if he'd ever murder you, he gets giddy and tense at the same time. He'd like to take his anger out on you, but once you're gone, he'll never get to feel this strongly ever again.
Now you're dating. He's been putting on such a nice act for you, you fell for it and him... Of course you did, you vulnerable fuck. Don't you ever notice that strong, predatory gaze on you when you let your guard down for a second?
He refuses to believe you have a survival instinct of a baby deer. Then he realizes you don't. Or, he thinks so. He's noticed a few glimpses now and then... He noticed how you shivered while "asleep" as his hand grazed your throat. He saw the twitch of your lips, even if it was dark in the room.
He despises you. How could you fool him? Are you playing along? Have you both been roleplaying, thinking the other one doesn't know? That's silly.
So, he gets more confident. During sex, he doesn't try to act caring and sweet. He stares down at you with dead eyes, before reaching his hands out, wrapping his fingers around your throat and slowly applying more and more pressure. He wonders if he'll see a hint of fear in your eyes full of lust and pleasure. He only sees lust grow.
You know his deal. You know how much you annoy him... No, that's a light word for what he's feeling. You're happy to see someone so infatuated with you. He's so cute, acting like a sweetheart, as if he doesn't want to gauge your eyes out. You can't wait to see him cross that line between love and hate, or lose his sanity all together.
You moan his name and his face heats up, matching his wide bloodshot eyes. He stops thrusting for a second, just keeps staring at you, before he grimaces - as if defeated - and leans down, caressing you neck with his lips as he starts thrusting again, now deeper and slower.
He hates your guts, the least he can do is rearrange them.
My head hurts and I'm taking it out on Y/N lmao
The pic has its own watermark so if you like that, check the artist out!!
Toodles! (*´ω｀*)
A Little Birdie Telling Tales @hummingblurb - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
