What's going on in here?

She/her. Various fandom histrionics (mostly Critical Role at the moment) Also going to be posting the occasional crochet or cooking project. Also dinosaurs and paleontology. I queue almost everything.

[pups-2-dust]

[aroace-ryland-grace]

rocky eats shit (colourised)

[romanceyourdemons]

it’s a pretty well-known phenomenon that you only get a couple seconds with your horror creature fully visible onscreen before it gets “chuckied,” a term coined by yours truly referring to the shift between the first and second acts of child’s play (1988) as the audience gets used to seeing the little chucky puppet moving around and consequently can no longer buy into the film’s serious slasher tone in the absence of the horror of the unknown. the tuunbaq in the terror and the dogomorph in alien 3 (1992) are also famous victims of chuckying—just like how lovecraftian horror usually falls flat on the screen, too much visibility and your scary, amorphous creature will become a very morphous puppet or cgi’d in picture. the easiest way to combat this is of course to keep the creature obscured for as much of the piece as possible; for instance, despite their oppressive presence throughout their respective works, the beast in over the garden wall is shown for less than six frames and the eponymous kaiju of cloverfield (2008) is never properly shown, allowing each to retain their mystery and danger. another route is to simply lean into the campiness of it, like the later child’s play franchise and alien resurrection (1997). in the case of the blob (1958) a mere satirical title sequence song is enough to completely transform a fairly standard creature feature into an enduring masterpiece of hokey fun. the third option to combat chuckying is for the horror creature to constantly transform—the thing (1982), the fly (1986), and aliens (1986) show their creatures in loving detail, but there is always something the audience hasn’t seen yet, something they don’t know to brace themselves for. it’s a fine line to walk, of course, but that’s the nature of the game when you want to turn the concept of the unknown into something knowable enough to bite you

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[b33viemm]

[ID: tiktok by @/juzt_sammie with the caption "POV: You're visually impaired." A man walks up to a wall outside with a paper notice taped onto it. He says, "What is this? Let me put on my glasses." He puts them on and takes the paper, reading, "Beware, quicksa—" then cuts himself off with an annoyed look at the camera. As he says this he starts rapidly sinking downwards into the quicksand out of frame. End ID.]

[armadillorollup]

know the difference!

[themateriodictable]

alright I've decided the best way to spend my evening is to watch star wars episode III and drink every time I recognise a meme

also I guess I'm watching the rifftrax version as I cba to download another so here we go

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY REVENGE OF THE SITH

[themateriodictable]

"this is where the fun begins" hhhhhhhhhh im only 3 minutes in

[themateriodictable]

General grievous is a meme right

He feels like one

[themateriodictable]

"sith lords are our speciality" + obi wan dramatically taking off his cloak

this rum is pretty strong

[themateriodictable]

not a meme but this exchange is pretty raw

"my powers have doubled since we last met" "good... twice the pride, double the fall"

[themateriodictable]

DEW IT

[themateriodictable]

"wait a minute, how did this happen? we're smarter than this"

[themateriodictable]

JEDI SCUM

[themateriodictable]

"this will make a fine addition to my collection"

oh this was a bad idea

[themateriodictable]

"another happy landing"

[themateriodictable]

"hold on, this whole operation was your idea"

IT MIGHT AS WELL BE EVERY OTHER LINE

[themateriodictable]

"SO LOVE HAS BLINDED YOU?"

this dialogue will kill me before the rum does

[themateriodictable]

ooooohhhhh this version has "be careful of your friend, palpatine" "and your pal, friendpatine"

lmao ok I chose the best version

[themateriodictable]

"you are on this council... but we do not grant you the rank of master"

"this is OUTRAGEOUS its UNFAIR"

[themateriodictable]

"what about the droid attack on the wookies?"

why the fuck did that become a meme

[themateriodictable]

"it's settled then" ..... yes this innocuous line of dialogue also became a meme I hate this movie

[themateriodictable]

oh I'm at the "did you ever heard the tale of darth plageous the wise?" do I just keep drinking till he finishes

[themateriodictable]

"ironic..." isn't it? doncha think?

[themateriodictable]

HELLO THERE

AH GENERAL KENOBI

[themateriodictable]

4 lightsaber grevious fight FUCK YEAH

[themateriodictable]

oh I forgot another dramatic "grandma it's me anastasia" unrobing from obi wan

[themateriodictable]

I AM THE SENATE ⚡⚡⚡

[themateriodictable]

"it's treason then" my boy palpy is a fountain of memes

[themateriodictable]

I know this post is entirely memes (I'm sorry followers) but I just wanna say how much I love that shot of windu and palpy once palpy is disarmed and crawling away from windu with the lightsaber and all that it's actually a really striking shot maybe sometimes these movies are good

I mean they're not but I'm fond anyway

[themateriodictable]

"he's too dangerous to be left alive"

[themateriodictable]

UNLIMITED POWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

[themateriodictable]

"what have I done"

my vision is going a lil blurrh

[themateriodictable]

EXECUTE ORDER 66

[themateriodictable]

"master skywalker there are too many of them what are we goi g to do" wowee from zero to child murder rela quick

[themateriodictable]

God dammit how many ships landing/taking off transition scenes are we gonna get if I'd taken a drink for that I would genuinely be in hospital

[themateriodictable]

"not even the younglings survived"

[themateriodictable]

"the attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed"

[themateriodictable]

"so this is how liberty dies.... with thunderous applause" FUCKING RAW LINE

[themateriodictable]

"I've seen a security hologram of him.... killing younglings" I jsut love how ewan mcgregror is corspsing rn tee hee

[themateriodictable]

"anakin is the father isn't he?............... im so sorry" savage obi wan ahahahahaha

[themateriodictable]

"how am I gonna tell him I've decided to name our child 'sand'" ok rifftrax keep your rights I wish you'd cease with the c3po gay joke stho

[themateriodictable]

"love won't save you padme, only my new powers can do that" I want to die

[themateriodictable]

LIARRR

[themateriodictable]

Another unrobing from obi wan he's so cool I love him

[themateriodictable]

"only a sith deals in absolutes" I fuckin hate this line yyou hypocrite

[themateriodictable]

"my little green friend" hhhh palpy be my boyfriend

[themateriodictable]

THE SPINNY LIGHTSABER THING ZOOM ZOOM BZZT BZZT

[themateriodictable]

USING THE FORCE THE OUSH EACH OTHER AWAY IT'S JUST 2 ACTORS PULLING STPUPID FACES

[themateriodictable]

"FRO. MY POINF OF VIEW THE JEDI ARE EVIL"

"WE THEN YOU ARE LOST"

[themateriodictable]

IT'S OVER ANAKIN I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND

[themateriodictable]

YOU UNDERWESTEMIATE MY POWER

[themateriodictable]

YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE

[themateriodictable]

"you were my brother anakin..... I loved yoy" T_T

[themateriodictable]

Babies are not a reason to live

[themateriodictable]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[themateriodictable]

48 memes in one film Im dead

[themateriodictable]

I have a zoom job interview tomorrow this 2as a bad idea

[nautilusopus]

[themateriodictable]

SHIT UP I'M CRYING OVER ANAKIN GOIGN EVIL

[uss-emberprise]

[gayglitterqueen]

I watched Jaws for the first time last night and this was all I could think of the whole time

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[chrispineofficial]

saw an annoying post. but i’m being so brave about it

[chrispineofficial]

i’m obsessed with you. shall we get married

[islamprotestan-blog]

only 5 seconds

[zanyflowerpizzatrash]

i wasn't ready for that..lol

[suffer-no-humiliation]

Immediately recognized that look

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

The subtitles do really good work at conveying tone and mood here, but it's worth having sound on just for the noise he makes when she gets out of it.

[lesbianshepard]

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

[lesbianshepard]

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

[key--lime--pie]

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

[notaflippinmermaid]

No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.

…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.

[midnightmindcave]

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

[dinosauriaawesome]

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

[thesaltofcarthage]

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

[wholesome-dragon-lady]

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

[parkchanwoohoo]

I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account

It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

[thegenderal]

even before i lived in a place with a massive population of feral cats decimating the wildlife i had read the studies and knew the data said that TNR did not work and we need to be trapping and euthanizing feral cats but now that i’ve lived in a place where there are an enormous number of feral cats it’s like, inconceivable to me that anyone supports TNR, not just for the health of the world but for the sake of the fucking cats

[thegenderal]

nobody will even acknowledge it not even in most conservation circles. We have a solution to a massive, massive problem that is more humane, cheaper, easier, takes less time, prevents animal suffering, and saves valuable members of our disappearing ecosystem. And nobody is even willing to theoretically acknowledge that it exists outside of a few very small circles.

[thegenderal]

it works. It works. It is better for the cats. It’s better for the cats. Living in a place where you cannot drive 10 minutes without seeing a new roadkill cat almost every single day really makes you think about how much suffering could have been prevented if we just dealt with the problem we have created. It’s not a pleasant way to go, being hit by a car. Or being ripped apart by a predator, or eating a poison, or starving to death, of dying of an infection, or an illness, or any of the hundred thousand ways an animal in the wild passes without human intervention. Euthanasia is simply falling asleep. It is fucking wild to me that saying you think we should take responsibility for our mistakes and ensure that cats fall asleep peacefully instead of capturing them and then hurling them back out into the world SPECIFICALLY in order to allow them to die in agony makes people treat you like a fucking serial killer.

[thegenderal]

And if you don’t care about cats dying in agony do you care about the world around you? There’s a species of bird we only know ever existed because someone’s cat brought home our only example. That’s horrific. We’ve lost so much biodiversity because we simply won’t listen to the research, which again, has proven that TNR is not effective.

[thegenderal]

a peaceful death is not the worst thing that could happen to an animal.

[thegenderal]

@cathartidae sources for ya!

Sources:

https://ask.ifas.ufl.edu/publication/UW468 “How Effective and Humane Is Trap-Neuter-Release (TNR) for Feral Cats?” 

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6523511/ “A Case of Letting the Cat out of The Bag—Why Trap-Neuter-Return Is Not an Ethical Solution for Stray Cat (Felis catus) Management” (also has a thousand references attached that are handy)

Not a reference so much as the human society actively admitting that TNR does nothing to decrease population, actively contributes to harming wildlife, and doesn’t actually help the cats in any way, just reduces some of the nuisance behavior that people complain about: https://www.animalhumanesociety.org/resource/real-impacts-trap-neuter-return

Unscientific from here on out as i don’t feel like trying to find the studies i read in like January of last year:

https://hahf.org/awake/the-trouble-with-trap-vaccinate-neuter-return/ “The Trouble With Trap-Neuter-Re (Abandon!) from the hillsborough animal health foundation, articles also link to studies

https://abcbirds.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/The-Evidence-Against-TNR.pdf from the american bird conservancy, has scientific articles quoted. 

[thegenderal]

Even More Sources on TNR being non-viable and ways that cats are impacting the world from birds to *hawai’i’s monk seals*

Animal Emergency and Referral Center of Minnesota. (2022, October 26). Indoor cats vs. outdoor cats. Animal Emergency & Referral Center of Minnesota. https://aercmn.com/indoor-cats-vs-outdoor-cats/

Campbell, V. (2017, January 25). The Obituary of the Stephens Island Wren. All About Birds. https://www.allaboutbirds.org/news/the-obituary-of-the-stephens-island-wren/

Castillo, D., & Clarke, A. L. (2003). Trap/neuter/release methods ineffective in controlling domestic cat “colonies” on public lands. Natural Areas Journal, 23(3).

Coe, S. T., Elmore, J. A., Elizondo, E. C., & Loss, S. R. (2021). Free-ranging domestic cat abundance and sterilization percentage following five years of a trap–neuter–return program. Wildlife Biology, 2021(1). https://doi.org/10.2981/wlb.00799

del Hoyo, J., Collar, N., Kirwan, G. M., & Sharpe, C. J. (2022, October 25). Guadalupe storm-petrel (Hydrobates Macrodactylus), version 1.2. Birds of the World. https://birdsoftheworld.org/bow/species/guspet/cur/introduction

Dickman, C. R., & Newsome, T. M. (2015). Individual hunting behaviour and prey specialisation in the house cat Felis catus: Implications for conservation and management. Applied Animal Behaviour Science, 173, 76–87. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.applanim.2014.09.021

Edge. (2019, June 19). Guadalupe storm-petrel. EDGE of Existence. https://www.edgeofexistence.org/species/guadalupe-storm-petrel/

Galbreath, R., & Brown, D. (2004). The tale of the lighthouse-keeper’s cat: Discovery and extinction of the Stephens Island wren (Traversia lyalli). Notornis, 51(4).

Hawai’i Department of Land and Natural Resources. (2025). Feral cats. Feral Cats. https://dlnr.hawaii.gov/hisc/info/invasive-species-profiles/feral-cats/#:~:text=Feral%20cats%20on%20islands%20have,kill%20approximately%202.4%20billion%20birds.

Loss, S. R., Will, T., & Marra, P. P. (2013). The impact of free-ranging domestic cats on wildlife of the United States. Nature Communications, 4(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/ncomms2380

McGregor, H., Legge, S., Jones, M. E., & Johnson, C. N. (2015). Feral cats are better killers in open habitats, revealed by animal-borne video. PLOS ONE, 10(8). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0133915

Medina, F. M., Bonnaud, E., Vidal, E., Tershy, B. R., Zavaleta, E. S., Josh Donlan, C., Keitt, B. S., Corre, M., Horwath, S. V., & Nogales, M. (2011). A global review of the impacts of invasive cats on Island Endangered Vertebrates. Global Change Biology, 17(11), 3503–3510. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1365-2486.2011.02464.x

National Research Council. (1992, January 1). Scientific Bases for the Preservation of the Hawaiian Crow. U.S. National Library of Medicine. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK235935/

NOAA. (2024, August 29). Toxoplasmosis and its effects on Hawaiʻi Marine Wildlife. NOAA Fisheries. https://www.fisheries.noaa.gov/pacific-islands/endangered-species-conservation/toxoplasmosis-and-its-effects-hawaii-marine

Read, J. L., Dickman, C. R., Boardman, W. S., & Lepczyk, C. A. (2020). Reply to Wolf et al.: Why trap-neuter-return (TNR) is not an ethical solution for Stray Cat Management. Animals, 10(9), 1525. https://doi.org/10.3390/ani10091525

Reed, L. (2022). The effects of free-roaming cats on native wildlife populations. Wildlife Rehabilitation Bulletin, 40(1), 17–21. https://doi.org/10.53607/wrb.v40.250

Salano, E. (2024, October 5). Eliciting the effect free roaming cats have on Native Hawaiian wildlife using stable isotope analysis. UKnowledge. https://uknowledge.uky.edu/biology_etds/103/ 

Steele, J. H., Thorpe, S. A., & Turekian, K. K. (2009). Encyclopedia of Ocean Sciences. Academic Press. 

science says it’s long past time to stop prolonging the suffering of feral cats, for the sake of the people, the native wildlife, and the goddamn cats themselves.

[boundless-ennui]

I was at a friend's house to check on carcasses I had macerating in his yard. A little grey cat ran up to me, yelling her head off in friendliness and wanting nothing more than to be pet. I had nothing to give her but let my friend know he should catch her since she was so friendly. I am ashamed to admit I didn't give her much thought beyond that, finishing my work and giving her a last pet before going home.

My friend told me how he'd seen her before but she always vanished before he could catch her. He works far too many hours and is always tired so he couldn't prioritize catching this cat.

Three months pass with no sign of her. I go back with my partner to check on carcasses and this same little grey cat appears. This time, however, a tooth has been snapped off and her tongue is so badly cut that she can't keep it in her mouth. She was thin and dirty and screaming to please be given some food.

This time I couldn't look away. I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow a cat carrier. She loaned me one and a tin of wet food that the grey cat willingly followed into the carrier. She didn't care at all about being put into the carrier - all she wanted was a hand on her. She'd arch up against the top just so my hand would rest on her back for a moment.

We drove through rush hour traffic to the only shelter still open. We knew we couldn't keep her and I couldn't stand the thought of putting her back out on the streets to die slowly.

The shelter couldn't take her. Her ear was clipped so she was a "community cat" and outside their ability to help. They tried desperately to offer alternatives to me as I cried over her carrier, knowing I couldn't take her home but also that if I didn't I couldn't live with the thought of her back on the streets.

I made a Hail Mary call to a local friend who is very connected in our city. They didn't have my number saved but answered all the same to hear me sobbing about a cat I'd found and to please help me find a place for her. Please. If I don't find something then she'll be alone on the streets again to die.

My friend came through. I could keep the cat in their garage overnight and in the morning my friend would be back in the city and could find someone to help the cat.

The shelter folk gave me a crate and some food - their hands were tied but they didn't want to leave me with nothing. They were good people doing the best they could in their own system. Community cats were ones they weren't allowed to "waste" resources on. Ostensibly they'd been dealt with and their fate decided. There was nothing the shelter folks were allowed to do for them.

I took the cat to my friend's garage. She was settled into a crate on towels, happy as a clam to be warm and safe. This was a cat made to be loved and to love, as she immediately began trying to groom one of my friend's roommates. He stayed in the garage with her, giving her food and water and in exchange having no say on whether she was in his lap or not. She was always in his lap.

Nobby Nobbs (so named for the only other character known to man that is as scrungly as she is) was then formally adopted by my friend. Her tongue has healed, her fur remains scrungly, and she's every bit the rabid love bug I suspected her to be when she came to me yelling to be pet.

She's a TNR cat. Someone thought they were doing her a kindness in that and if nothing else she didn't add kittens to the world but that doesn't negate the pain she suffered before I found her - the broken teeth, the lacerated tongue, the ulcerated cheeks, the flea-bald patchiness of her coat.

I say this as someone who adores this cat and has the privilege to see her loved and cherished: I wish she'd never had to suffer what she did. I wish people were alright making the harder call that leads to less misery on the side of the cats.

TNR is a polite fiction, nothing more. Just so the humans can pretend they've done right by the same cats they're letting loose to die miserably somewhere else. As long as the humans don't see it it's fine.

The shelter folks told me she's a community cat and that I could take her home and release her by my house. Then I could feed her myself and keep up with her and know where she was! I could still keep her, after a fashion.

I am not proud of how I snarled back that I would never exchange a quick death for a slow one. I would be giving her a different funeral plot, not giving her a life. Even near me she'd be just as vulnerable to the innumerable predators that find cats quite delicious, let alone cars and poisons and the other cruelties humans practice on stray cats.

She's the second stray cat I've met that when I held them the cat melted in my arms, purring and so desperately wanting to be loved. The first cat I was able to trap and take to a local shelter only to find when I called to check on him a day later that his health had been so terrible, so beyond help, that he'd been put down. All the love in that tiny body lost because the people I lived beside didn't care enough to trap the cats they had.

My partner was asleep. I woke her up to crawl into her arms and sob, my heart breaking for the stupidity of the humans who hadn't cared enough to grant this poor little cat the chance to be either an indoor cat, loved and cared for, or to grant him a quick death long before I met him. I've other stories of the cats they kept around, essentially feeding the poor souls to the predatory birds and wandering dogs that frequented our area.

TNR doesn't work. It is a lie humans tell ourselves so we can pretend we haven't failed these animals on a massive scale. Cats are invasive and cause massive harm in their turn. It is humanity who needs to deal with this crisis, this horror we've made, and I pray one day we look it square in the face and vow to make it right.

[thegenderal]

sorry

[dykeofalltrades]

for the record, this includes barn and farm cats. ive grown up in a place where theyre common. theyre not better off

[marinella-ela]

[timaltman]

do you think the dc universe has a news site like the onion that’s just like…

“meddling parents still alive, preventing bruce wayne from adopting yet anther orphan”

[yesokayiknow]

“new study shows that 87% of all americans class superman as american citizen despite being born on a different planet, but only 49% avoided eye contact when asked about why martian manhunter doesn’t count”

“area woman thanking her lucky stars that batman and superman fell out on the same day she was due to go to boss’ niece’s bat mitzvah”

“arkham guard astonished by trip to iron heights, only now learning what locks are for”

“area man pretty sure he should be making more than $60k a year if his boss has 10 billion dollars to waste on robotic exosuit”

“breaking news: lex luthor sues superman for loss of earnings, claims that continually losing fights to him is negatively affecting his work ethic”

[littlemissonewhoisall]

“Hub City mayor declares state of unemergency after two hours without a violent crime”

“grown man who dresses in halloween costume every night thinks clown his biggest problem”

“disappointed child realizes Booster Gold at birthday party the real one, not just a guy in a costume”

“drunk Aquaman rampages through ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ ride”

[wombatking]

“new Teen Titan not attached to any Justice League member wonders why they’ve been issued a uniform with a red shirt”

“Earth totally not a tax haven, say Green Lantern Corps as they assign eighth lantern to same planet”

“’no one knows how to stop him’ says armed police officer as non-powered clown-themed supervillain begins 82nd massacre this year”

[greenreticule]

Halfway through these I forgot that these were supposed to be Onion headlines and not actual headlines for the DC universe.

[guessillalwaysbethisway]

The discovery of the statue of Antinous in Delphi, Greece in 1894

[fuckblast]

Really obsessed with this one like how old cameras worked making everyone blurry against the statue and just makes you realize how long the statue has been right. There.