No-Theme

Various collections of things that either made me snort, exhale slightly, or politically left

[ratgod-deactivated20211130]

[displayheartcode]

[zvaigzdelasas]

[hottestroadkill]

i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

[yellow-cat]

when im 45 years old ill still be here posting like take my hand. lets go into menopause together

[hiveswap]

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

[elliot-amy]

at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”

[gastrointestinalhallelujahcannon]

Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor

[duckbunny]

don't infantilise yourself. you are not a child who needs an adult to make your decisions for you. you are a splendid and magnificent autocrat and you are consulting your trusted advisors. you are exercising great wisdom by inviting an expert to give their opinion before making your ruling. often the path of wisdom is to say "good morning, I'm trying to [perform task] and I have a question about [aspect], can you tell me who I should speak to for advice?" before you do it. sometimes the path of wisdom is to hire a plumber. there are times when you cannot do things for yourself but that doesn't mean you are not an adult. you don't need a grown-up. you need a specialist.

[duckbunny]

this has come up a couple of times so let me be really really clear:

the path of wisdom is sometimes to hire a plumber.

the path of wisdom is always to hire an electrician.

[bygonethreadsstudio]

A waistcoat I knit last year for my sister, using an original 1941 pattern.

This was my first attempt at colorwork knitting, and of course I jumped in the deep end with a vintage pattern. Luckily, it turned out to be a simple slip-stitch pattern. A lot simpler than expected.

Of course the resizing and added waist shaping wasn’t so simple, but all things considered, I think it turned out really well! And my sister agrees!

[notsofrangible]

the world has been horrifying recently but i have personally witnessed something that brought me joy

Every year, California’s largest sheep and fiber festival, Lambtown, takes place in Dixon, CA. On the second day of Lambtown, teams of eight compete in a “sheep to shawl” competition, where the teams must start the day with un-spun wool and end the day with a 72” woven shawl. Teams may “warp” a loom ahead of time (where you thread the loom with its foundation of parallel threads), but on the day of competition they must spin their wool into yarn and weave it into a complete shawl.

This year competition was stiff, and very very close, and the winning team finished their shawl with two and a half minutes to spare.

I frequently hear about “needing to keep “politics” out of fiber arts, but art is inherently political.

These were beautiful, masterfully spun, woven, and finished shawls and that in itself is worthy of note.

But watching this team of eight would fight for hours, and pour their love for their community into their art was deeply moving and I am still reveling in the opportunity to have seen this win.

There are few things to rejoice in today, but they do exist. The horrors may persist, but so do we.

[homunculus-argument]

Artfully layering an axe bodyspray deodorant and two different perfume oils to create a tasteful mixture of amber, oud, mint, lavender, moss and petrichor, producing a scent that smells exactly like damp, stale, rotting laundry.

[dreamsareliminalspaces-deactiva]

Reminds me of that tumblr user that made powdered milk with sparkling water and created instant spoiled milk

[homunculus-argument]

That was also me.

[adeline-wheat]

Do you know any other ways to speed ruin things?

[homunculus-argument]

I wish I knew any other way to do anything.

[globalchristendom]

The tomb of a pastor's wife and stillborn child in a church in Hindelbank, Switzerland, 1751, depicting their resurrection.

[cultivating-wildflowers]

@banana-with-a-bow-tie I agree with Citrus I’m sobbing thanks

[mondfahrt]

Oh, a colleague of mine just wrote her PhD dissertation on this!

This is the Grave of Maria Magdalena Langhans by Johann August Nahl. Nahl was hosted by the pastor and his pregnant 28yo wife Maria Magdalena when she died during childbirth. Moved by this, he decided, by himself and without being commissioned to do so by anyone to make this grave for her. It became a huge place of pilgrimage for the next 150 years.

[sewerfight-deactivated20250114]

Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on

[xenobotanist]

[61below]

Filing this in my memory right next to this thread:

[flowerbleedme]

is anyone imagining a dog with a propeller hat on

[hellenhighwater]

You know what, since I'm thinking about it anyways, let's talk formalwear accessories. Most of these are traditionally menswear but a bit of gender fuckery is good for the soul, and frankly most of these are about making your mass-produced clothing fit and lay properly without having to go to the tailor.

Shirt stays: these go around your thighs to hold your shirt down, so that it stays smooth and tucked in. They're usually elastic, with 1-3 clips, and if you wear skirts frequently this is a GREAT way to make sure your top doesn't ride up. The clips will be visible if you're wearing something tight, so loose pants or skirts are where these do best. There's also an insane version that clips to your socks, but that is for lunatics. If you wanted, you could also use one of these clips to hold up thigh-highs.

These do a great job of smoothing and narrowing the waist area by keeping your shirt from bunching there.

Sleeve garters: usually metal, leather, elastic, or silk. These are usually worn with button-down shirts to adjust where your cuff falls on the wrist or hand. They're properly worn on the upper arm, and you pull the fabric of the sleeve above the garter until you cuff is where you want it. Because this creates a puff of sleeve at the bicep, it also broadens the appearance of the shoulders. It's great if you're working with your hands or if your sleeves are often too long for your preference.

Waistband clip or belt adjustment clip/buttons

Three different ways of tightening the waistband of a pair of pants or a skirt. You're not going to get more than an inch or so tighter without weird bunching, and for most of these you'd want them to be hidden under a shirt or jacket, but they do the job if that's something you're having issues with.

Collar pins: There are so many fun ones out there, both with and without chains. They're not terribly practical, though the slight weight may help keep your collar where you want it. Also consider collar tips, which pin (surprise) to the very tips of your collar points.

Sweater clips/guards: meant to hold your sweater or cardigan mostly closed. Great if your cardigan doesn't button, or if you don't like it to be buttoned all the way.

There's tons of other stuff out there like this--etsy is a great place to find this stuff. A lot of these are old solutions to the very modern problem of mass-maufactured clothes not being as one-size-fits-all as advertised, but they're also a fun way to put a bit of personality into businesswear.

[thunderwhenhepurrs]

Okay I love shit like this and have to add: if you don’t like the garter shirt stays for any reason, next best is the stirrup kind.

But menswear doesn’t get to have all the fun! Here are a few traditionally womenswear accessories:

Hem weights keep your skirt from flying up. You can get sew in and temporary ones.

Lingerie pins keep the straps of your dress and your bra together! They can be hidden or very cute. You can go for vintage ones if you’re obsessed like me or just find either fancy safety pins or small bar pins.

Some also come in groups of three with chains that keep the straps from sliding off your shoulder.

(Often these will get mistaken for baby or doll pins because they are very small, 2-3 cm in length.)

Glove clips hold your gloves to your belt or purse whole you aren’t wearing them, but keep them close at hand (ha).

There are SO many things like this and I love discovering more of them. Humans like to be comfortable and not fussing with their clothes all the time. We’ve forgotten so many ways that people have solved common problems in the past.

[tastylemonbread]

daddy wants to see yall on yall baddest behavior. lend me some sugar. I AM your neighbor.

[randumbkatt]

terrifying jmage

[great-and-small]

New shoes

[finns-gifs]

[thagomizersshow]

You ever think about how weird hippos are ecologically speaking?

There's literally no other megafauna on earth that spends the entire day lounging around in water, mostly just socializing, only to come onto land to feed at night.

I remember when I used to do education programs on hippos, most people assumed they ate aquatic plants, and that that's the whole reason they were in water. Meanwhile, hippos are basically just giant nocturnal cows that eat only grass.

[weaselle]

most animals that start adapting to live more of their lives in water:

"i must grow my bones lighter and less dense so that i don't get trapped on the bottom and may float easier in this new environment"

hippos: "denser. heavier bones. MOAR dense. Make sink the most."

mother nature: but how will you get off the bottom when you sink?

hippos: Make muscles more too, give all muscle.

mother nature: and to stay warm in the water? a big layer of fat?

hippos: no! no fat only muscle.

mother nature: o....kay. And, you eat aquatic plants, that's why you spend so much time in the water?

hippos: lol no. eat land grass, like cow.

mother nature: i see. right. You eat mostly grass, so, flat grinding teeth?

hippos: hell no. big spike teeth. sharp big teeth. Biggest

mother nature: what, like lions? 3 inch fangs?

hippos: course not. giant fuck-off teeth, 18 inches. Also, not just one pair, three pairs of giant sharp teeth. give

mother nature: but you eat... grass?

hippos: yeah. lol. Sometimes eat a zebra tho. Or a antelope. Maybe eat a crocodile, you don't know. Give all teeth, giant fuck-off teeth. Most bone! most muscle! most teeth! Me.

mother nature: y'know what? fuck it, sure, here you go

hippo: ...

hippo: i'm very angry now

[weaselle]

so idk about layers, and they are not all the same size, but they have three pairs of large sharp teeth on each side of their mouth, or you could say six pairs of ...? anyway they have a bunch of molars you can barely see through the gums, and then they have these teeth:

looks like this in the mouth

so those are their, yeah i guess actually six pair of giant fuck-off teeth

[mythopoeticlicense]

They're less teeth and more of a defensive stockade

[felipeiv]