salt and shadow

from even the greatest horrors, irony is seldom absent.salt - it/they/she/her - the emerald city - INFPcurrently: broken bones and broken teeth.

[caltsoudas]

Here are the other concept sketches I did for the Wootbox exclusive Batman The Animated Series t-shirt before we reached a final choice!

[hobbit-hole]

if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win

[hobbit-hole]

all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he’s like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit

legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener, merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they’ve gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don’t think i could take him without magic even if he IS old because he’s a very large guy, but maybe

it would be my knuckles against Frodo’s baby soft poet hands, plus i’ve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn’t real so he can’t offer a rebuttal to my claim

[penny-anna]

you’re absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D:

[hobbit-hole]

this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he’s too polite to do that because it’s a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty

[penny-anna]

for someone who doesn’t want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo……….

[animate-mush]

OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin.

First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won’t be fighting your conscience at the same time.

Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He’s no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that’s comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he’s not a fighter.

Also there’s a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn’t enough if a curse by itself).

And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you’ll deserve it, you monster)

[penny-anna]

Also: if you fight Frodo you’ll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on.

[westrons-deactivated20200930]

Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir.

[feynites]

So here’s the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship, which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you’ll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you’ll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh.

So here’s what you do:

You fight Legolas.

The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you’re gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimli, so once the challenge is issued, he’s not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus!

Anyway.

Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he’s also already convinced you’re weaker than him anyway because you’re not an elf, so he’s gonna go kind of easy on you. And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here’s the key thing:

You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince.

That’s a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener, yeah?

[icescrabblerjerky]

okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here.

[prince-raisins-art]

i wanna marry everyone in bloodlines 😩

[maleinstructor]

[kozacy]

In the heat of battle, photographer Horace Bristol captured one of the most unique and erotic photos of WWII.

Bristol photographed a young crewman of a US Navy “Dumbo” PBY rescue mission, manning his gun after having stripped naked and jumped into the water of Rabaul Harbor to rescue a badly burned Marine pilot. The Marine was shot down while bombing the Japanese-held fortress of Rabaul.

“…we got a call to pick up an airman who was down in the Bay. The Japanese were shooting at him from the island, and when they saw us they started shooting at us. The man who was shot down was temporarily blinded, so one of our crew stripped off his clothes and jumped in to bring him aboard. He couldn’t have swum very well wearing his boots and clothes. As soon as we could, we took off. We weren’t waiting around for anybody to put on formal clothes. We were being shot at and wanted to get the hell out of there. The naked man got back into his position at his gun in the blister of the plane.”

“And well, there was his butt, and I had a camera. I mean I AM a historian.”

[orbisonblue]

That is the BEST EVER quote about the nature of historians I’ve ever seen

[fandoms-are-my-one-true-love]

He pressed all the buttons

[thehowlingowl-deactivated202309]

all my bear owl (or owlley cats) gifs in one post!  all inspired by the same creature in the croods, just with different owls

[emengel]

Day 10: Impish! #drawtober #drawtober2018 #impish

Dang dude, really feeling the burn now. 😩 https://www.instagram.com/p/BoxnGNvhGH7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=96wydzq7ewzg

[stupid-dyke]

So sad how J.K. Rowling died shortly after publishing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and was never able to tell us more about the magical world other than what is in the 7 books. I wonder what she would do if she were alive today? Too bad we will never know, ever, because she died in 2007.

[rachelblairyarchived]

#me while blocking her on twitter: sometimes i think i can still hear her voice

[nest-deactivated20181209]

disney’s gonna release the live-action little mermaid movie and the director’s gonna do an interview for teenvogue where he says the crab sebastian is gay and everyone’s gonna laud it as the most woke moment of 2019 and a horde of 21-35 year old women on tumblr will draw human aus where he’s a young white redhead and he and king triton are fuckin’

[brittany]

Bedazzled (2000)

[jacobnordby]

[ally-thorne]

[alltimevirgilant]

who told you that you could call me out like that

[book-keeper]

[sirartwork]

Undertale is on Switch now, draw something Undertale

[skeletorific]

for hot or not... Danny Devito

Danny Devito is the Bacchus of our era. Though there is nothing in him that would appear to be pleasing to the eye, all our hedonistic pleasures spawn from him, until he inevitably becomes pleasure itself

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY I You will find me among the Maenads, frenzied in the woods and rending the limbs of passing intrusive men

[kidzbopmallcop]

[kidzbopmallcop]

I’ve gotten a few comments and have taken them under consideration.

[selkiesun]

@deadhaven

[marisatomay]

y’all ever see a sibling interaction in media and just know….it was written by an only child

[xtltokio]

It’s weird when sibilings apologize in the movies. Because sibilings only apologize when they did something really really bad, like murder someone or something, otherwise the sibilings just casually start to talk to each other as if nothing had happened.

[sandersstudies]

Siblings in a movie making up: I’m so sorry I hurt you…you’re not only my sister, you’re my best friend.

Siblings in real life making up: Lmao idk if you’re still mad bitch but look at this meme really quick.

[officialpizzarat]

During the 1980s, more gay men died in New York City during the AIDS crisis than all recorded deaths of American soldiers in Vietnam. You need to know that.

[crypti-d-iscourse]

Sources, for Skeptics who can’t figure out google

120,453 aids related deaths from 1980-1990

57,939 american soldiers died in Vietnam

[lobstersonskateboards]

never will I ever forget the time my friend told me about goddamn. mormon bubble porn

[lobstersonskateboards]

@glubablub @queenofthesafetypins

ok so

there’s a rule in mormonism that you Absolutely Cannot see a woman naked. however, since we as a species usually LOVE to jack off, people found a way around it.

basically what they do is take pictures of beautiful bikini women or whatever, and cover the bits that would be deemed unseeable, and creating bubbles around certain parts like the stomach and neck, to give off the illusion that they’re naked.

that way they can jack off freely without guilt. it is generally effective, but since it’s so obscure it looks like some kind of odd fetish.

In conclusion, anybody with a sex drive, no matter the religion, will absolutely try their hardest to jack off, even if it means really fuckin strange loopholes. thank u for ur time.