Maeandra

An acceptance of everything that isn't

[hwanchaesong]

➜about me: Mae, 22, she/her

i will stand with you between the heavens and the earth *

✧⁠* i will tell you where you are

༼⁠⁰I cannot breathe when you are not near

  I love you ♡

✿⁠ My heart calls for your name

!! Requests are currently open!! 🌷

Some of my fics are safe for minors to read, unless indicated by mdni

all rights reserved ©

[hwanchaesong]

Hello everyone! I've just gotten out of my damned depressive and anxiety filled episodes. Thus, I will try and do my best to write again!

For now, I am trying to find my drafts and outlines of the fics that I was writing before. Sooo, for the meantime, I am accepting requests!

Send em all to me and inspire me y'all! 🩷

[hwanchaesong]

Lee Haechan/Donghyuck (NCT DREAM)

genre: angst, betrayal, break-up and well, i'm sad so i'll return with something sad

[10:47 PM]

"You lied to me."

Your voice was flat, dead, nonchalant — a voice that your boyfriend never heard from you before.

"Baby, please listen to me I d-" Haechan starts to quickly explain himself, make any kind of excuse or reason to make you stay, but you cut him off with a dry laugh.

You turn on your heels to look at the window, a bitter smile on your face as you continued to speak about his dishonesty that you had just learned.

"Hyuck, you told me that it was your first time going to the beach and watch the sunset with a girl. Do you even understand how hurt I am th-" you felt your throat close up, the damning tears on the corner of your eyes are doomed to fall soon enough. But no, you have to finish your statement. You have to say everything that you feel first.

"I believed you. I trusted everything that you have said because that beach date is important to me. That was the day that you asked me to be yours."

Haechan couldn't help but flinch, knowing that he made a grave mistake of hiding such information from you. And even in your grieving state, you still called him by his nickname with the same gentleness in your voice.

What a fool he is to think that the truth wouldn't reveal itself.

"Baby, it really is special." he tried to reach out again, wanting to console you in his arms but he was left astounded when you firmly told him to not touch you.

"How can it be special if I just saw a photo of you and that girl that you told me not to worry about? In the same place? Do you even understand the betrayal that I felt?" you grit your teeth, your own arms wrapping themselves around you as a form of self-comfort. Your eyes darted from the city lights, bright and fun yet everything about it is a complete contradiction of what you're feeling.

How the fuck should you even react when what you deemed special turned out to be recycled?

"I understand that she's from your past but.. couldn't you be more honest and transparent about it?" you scoffed, gripping your skin tightly so that your nails would surely leave a mark tomorrow. "Hyuck.. Just tell me everything."

You sighed, now turning around to look at him dead in the eye. "Is there anything else that I should know of?"

Haechan looked at you like a deer caught in a headlight, blinking rapidly and all he could say was a murmured "None."

You chuckled, unamused and completely done. There is nothing left for you to do but to leave.

"That's all I needed to hear, Donghyuck."

"Wait—!"

He tried to grab your wrist, but you quickly dodged and gave him a soft smile before walking out of the door— out of his life.

Lies.

He doesn't intend to tell you the fact that he was still talking with his ex even when you arrived in the picture. Even when he was actively pursuing you, he remained in contact with her. And you wouldn't even know all that, not until you accidentally opened his phone and saw all of the receipts.

A pathological liar.

That's what he is. And you would be an idiot if you continued to stay with a man who could lie to you with a straight face.

---------------------------------------------------

a/n: hello everyone! Mae here! I'm so sorry for the late return. a lot of sht happened to me and well, i was in a depressive episode for so long. i had just gotten out of it and now, i will try to post more and interact with y'all. for now, i present you thee! lmao, sorry for that. i apologize if this is not that well-written, i'm writing this at 3 am with a broken heart sooooo yeah. i hope you all like it and send me a message as well! i missed u sm my lovies 😭

[hwanchaesong]

https://www.tumblr.com/hwanchaesong/752099046720733184/folklore-a-trilogy-august

i may be late for this but im team jake 😫 sorry hoon but jake…. 😭😭😭😭

ong hi hi! i'm sorry for the very late response 😭 but hey, y'all should wait for hoon's part bc maybe it'll change your mind? 🥹

anw, this will be continued soon too! so tune up! tysm 🤍‼️

[hwanchaesong]

hi omg can I please be added to the taglist of tropes and parallels (enha?) tqsmm🫶

hii!! omg i'm so sorry! this is long overdue since i was too busy with life to open tumble before. but sure!! it'll be continued soon! tysm 🤍

[hwanchaesong]

Welcome back! I hope your internship went well and that you're settling back into your blog with ease 🤗

Hi! omg my internship was hectic af and tbh i had an experience there that i kind of want to write about. but i still have LOTS of unfinished fics to write so, it shall wait for now 😭

anw, thank you so much 🤍

[hwanchaesong]

OMG WELCOME BACK!!! 😭😭😭

OMG HELLOOO!!! I MISSED U SM! 🤍😭

[hwanchaesong]

HELLO EVERYONE! I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD AND FROM THE LONG HIATUS!

My internship is finally done so I'll have a few months to spare before my review season for my board exams comes up. I'll try and update as much as possible!

I missed y'all so much 😭🤍

[ateezmakesmehappy]

ayesha's favorites!!

hello tumblr community, this is ayesha and i just want to compile my favorite blogs. I really enjoyed while reading these blogs and hope u guys like them too ✌🏻

tbh i was compiling these in case i wanna read them again so shhh

warnings were written by bloggers at the beginning of the writings!! ༝༚༝༚

• super duper pretty by @seonghwaddict ₊˚⊹♡

       musician! kim hoongjoong x fem! reader.

THE BEST HOONGJOONG FIC IMO.

• to taint your soul by @seonghwaddict   (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

       incubus!choisan x exorcist's daughter!fem!reader.

• the sour restaurant series,

          all scenarios and headcannons by @hwanchaesong ₊˚⊹♡

• save a horse, ride a cowboy by @k-hotchoisan (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

  choi san x fem!reader.

• open wide and  strapped by @hausofwoo (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

        bartender! and dom! seonghwa x afab!reader.

• dancing with the devil and succumbing to the angel by @bro-atz (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

        assassin!seonghwa x afab!reader.

  MY FAVOURITE SEONGHWA FICTION BTW

• do you remember? by @bro-atz (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

       choi san x afab!reader.

• mommy!may 2023 masterlist by @whatudowhennooneseesyou (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

       dom!mommy!seonghwa x sub!fem!reader.

              DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN?

• fuck, it's cold by @starminzoo (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

      choi san x afab!reader.

• can't do it like me by @eleganzadellarosa (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

      jealous ex! choi san x fem!reader.

• cat and mouse by @bandgie (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

     fuckboy!wooyoung x fem!reader.

• we can' be friends by @jensthwa (mdni!!) ₊˚⊹♡

    first love!choi san x afab! reader.

[hwanchaesong]

hello, first of all i am really sorry if my question is bothering you but are you perhaps tootaeillii on insta? because i saw the post about sugar daddy ateez on insta and it was exactly the same with the headcannons on your blog too. once again, i am so sorry if this question bothers you and if you feel uncomfortable with this question, you're fully allowed to not answering 🙏

omg hi!

i just checked the account too and well... no, the account is NOT MINE.

wtfff thank you so much for telling me this! I'm so inactive these past few months because of my internship and this really got me mad as hell lmaoo

tysm u kind anon, i appreciate this sm 🫶🏼🥺

[hwanchaesong]

haii maé bby >< how is u doing ♡ྀི

PRINCESS ‼️‼️ HII OMG U DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I MISSED YOU 😭🙏🏼

i am doing good for now, ig i was mia for a while bc of my declining health (this is like a cycle, i get better then later i'm out again lmaoo 💀) but i'm managing 🫶🏼

how about you?? i hope that you're doing well too :< come and talk to me if ever you want to let something out oki??? SENDING LOTS OF LOVE 🩷

also wtfff seeing u in my inbox is such a pleasant surprise u literally made my day 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

[bbyquokka]

𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗜'𝗗 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗚𝗘𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗕𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 🩷🌸 tagged by @hynjinswrld ! ty for the tag 🩷🎀

────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──

𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗧 𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗚 | good boy gone bad – txt

𝗙𝗔𝗩 𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗥 | soft pinks. i also like a lot of blues ( like my theme! )

𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 | american horror story. was sad when netflix removed it but found out that its now on disney+. currently on season 4, freak show, my second fav season after season two!

𝗦𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗬/𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗧/𝗦𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗬 | a million percent spicy! then sweet, then savoury

𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗦 | in a seven (soon to be eight) year relationship 🥺🥰🤍

𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗢𝗕𝗦𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡 | han jisung :)

𝗡𝗢 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗦 | @oshimee ; @bintific ; @amyyscorner ; @luckieleaf ; @hanjsquokka ; @mnwrld ; @eoieopda

[amyyscorner]

Thank you for tagging me!! <33

𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗧 𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗚 | l i f e i s c o o l - boynextdoor

𝗙𝗔𝗩 𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗥 | green!!

𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗟𝗬 𝗪𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 | the boys, doctor who, the resident, goblin

𝗦𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗬/𝗦𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗧/𝗦𝗔𝗩𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗬 | generally savoury but lately i've been craving spice

𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗣 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗦 | single, not looking

𝗖𝗨𝗥𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗢𝗕𝗦𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗢𝗡 | bracelet making

Tagging my actual insane people gang!

[hyuuukais]

ty amy!!!!

last song - coffee by chappell roan

fave colour - blue 💙💙💙

currently watching - criminal minds

spicy/sweet/savoury - savoury

relationship status - single

current obsession - chappell roan 🧍‍♂️ and crocheting

tagging whoever sees cause i'm feeling lazy 😋

[inuoetoro]

last song ~ Blessed-Cursed (enhypen)

favourite colour ~ pale blue

currently watching ~ GoSe

spicy/sweet/savoury ~ spicy

relationship status ~ single and never gonna mingle

current obsession ~ seventeen

tags: @queen-of-hobgobblers, @lizzzzzzzzzzzzzz---lol, @demeters-strange-child, @jinnie-ret

@lixxpix, @hwangism143, @writingforstraykids, @atinyniki

[wnbnny]

ty for the tag ><

last song : to you by svt !

favourite colour : baby pink, heather, or sage green (all vv specific haha)

currently watching : any GoSe episodes or skz-code episodes!

spicy/sweet/savoury : savoury

relationship status : single (i'm too young lol 😭)

current obsessions : svt, crafts, & sleeping :3

no pressure tags : @starseungs @star-sim @rk1stars @boyfhee @michelle4eve

@yenqa @flwrstqr

sorry if u didn't want to be tagged TT

[flwrstqr]

hii thank u for the tag >< havent done these in a while ㅠㅠ

last song - long chat by aespa

favorite color - black, white, light blue, light purple

spicy/sweet/savory - spicy or sweet

relationship status - single (im actually dating with heeseung)

current obsession - miffy, enha, txt, jewelry making ><

tagging: @jwsdoll, @copyhanni, @dioll, @cupidhoons, @heelust, @luvlyhee @junislqve (sorry for the tag TT)

[cupidhoons-deactivated20240706]

thank u for the tag baby ><

last song — love whisper by gfriend

favorite color — pink + white (frank ocean ref >0<)

spicy/sweet/savory — all the above

relationship status — single (im married to hoon)

current obsession(s) — enha, anime + mangas (haikyuu n jjk phases are coming back strong TT), asian dramas figurines, snoopy, my melody and playing instruments :3

tagging ; @boyfhee @okwonyo @okwons @onlyjjong @jlheon @imaluckygirl @jakesangel (srry for the unwanted tags!)

[onlyjjong]

thanks for the tag angel~

last song — just a little bit by enhypen

favorite color — purple hehe

spicy/sweet/savory — i like it all, depending on my mood!! hehe

relationship status — single (read as jay's wifey)

current obsession(s) — enhypen, seventeen + boynextdoor ; i'm going back into my transformers phase HAHAH ; baking

tagging ; @kyoaeri , @dollmius , @dollofjaeyun , @sunrenity , @en-gelic , @chaewonshoney and @okwons (sorry for unwanted / repeated tags! ><)

[en-gelic]

thank you so much for the tag lili <3

last song — armageddon by aespa

favorite color — black

spicy/sweet/savory — spicy!!!! spicy!!!! spicy!!!

relationship status — single / married to hoon

current obsession(s) — armageddon!! accendio!! spicy food!! and random action movies

tagging : @jlheon @luvlyhee @07sleepykatz @fleurre @chaewonshoney @bunnbam @sjyunnsworld (so srry for unwanted or repeated tags ><)

[arkiv3d-deactivated20250608]

ty lia and zehra for the tag !

last song — 想见你 by 831

favorite color — sage green

spicy/sweet/savory — depends on what i'm craving i like all three !

relationship status — married to mingyu in my delusions

current obsession(s) — skateboarding, a sign of affection, crocheting

no pressure tags: @coqhee @suneng + anyone who wants to do this

[suneng]

thanks for the tag suki 🫶

last song — out of my league by fitz and the tantrums

favourite colour — red

spicy/sweet/savoury — savoury!! i also really like sweet, but if i could only choose one it'd be savoury.

relationship status — single & not planning on changing it!

current obsession(s) — enha, webnovels (orv & dmj specifically), robotics <3

tagging : @ashtxrie @sungbyhoon @rikiws @luvvsim @enha-stars @jaeyunluvr + anyone who sees this and wants to do it!

i tried to tag people i didn't see already tagged, but if you've already been tagged by someone else or didn't want to be in general, sorry!!

[makizdoll]

omgg tysm for that tag lia🫶

Last song — limitless by nct 127

Favourite colour — red♥️

spicy/sweet/savoury — savoury 🥰 I really like spicy food too

relationship status — single asf

current obsession(s) — my hair (I just had a haircut and I did it myself 😭), dancing (? I was always obsessed but idk it's increasing a lot lately I wake up and I wanna dance💀)

tagging :: @karinasbaby @minhosimthings @miss-conjayniality @heeslomll @heeslut4life @hoondrop @hoonven @666booklover @leaderwon @intromortal @alvojake @jaylaxies (sorry if anybody was already tagged) + anyone who wants to join in!!

[heeslomll-deactivated20251125]

thank u for the tag kayz wifey ilysm

last song — the 7th sense by nct u

favorite colour — red, light pink & blue, beige, purple, white, black (why tf do i have so many)

spicy/sweet/savoury — savoury and spicy both!! i don’t like sweet stuff that much

relationship status — married to jay

current obsession(s) — jay and my mooties

tagging :: @enha-stars @naomiarai @en-geneisaxx @emi-en @rikstar @jayujus @yzzyhee @jakesangel @antonsgirlfriend @taeghi @wondipity @hollyoongs

[emi-en-deactivated20240712]

thank you for the tag lovely

last song — that boy is mine

favorite colour — pink, white, black

spicy/sweet/savoury — sweet!!!

relationship status — taken by riki <33

current obsession(s) — enha <33

tagging :: anyone who wishes to join !!

[onlyhyunjin]

Wanted to do it to cause it's fun!

last song - zoo by taeyong, giselle, yangyang, jeno, and hendery

favorite colour - light pink, baby blue, and lavander

Spicy/sweet/savory - spicy and sweet

relationship status - single / married to hyunjin

current obsession(s) - heeseung and hyunjin

tagging :: @ikeuverse @starwonb1n @nujeskz @blurryriki @enha-stars @minhosimthings @milkandhyunnie

[taesancore]

ty for tagging meee!! (even if it’s my alt hehe)

last song: honestly by riize

favourite colour: mint green, pastel green, aqua blue

spicy/sweet/savoury: spicy and savoury!

relationship status: leehan’s🤭

current obsession(s): park wonbin.

tagging: @luna2nite @chewnotchoke @blumisiu @dollmini @dollvrse @dear-hoon @fertilizedtoesw @woonhakist @blissfullsvn @0310s @hwanchaesong

[hwanchaesong]

joining inn~ tsym for tagging me 🩷

last song: 24/7, 365 by Elijah Woods

favorite color: rose gold, carmine, mauve and all of the neutral colors

spicy/sweet/savory: savory :3 (occasionally with the spicy not too hot and the sweets but also not too sugary 😭)

relationship status: yeah well.. i am an anime and kpop fan but fckkk, yep i have a boyfriend irl ✌🏼😎

current obsession: in my anime moment rn (BAKUGO KATSUKI IS MY BABY) bc i've been away from my first love for so long; also singing, piano, KPOP, baking & cooking andd reading for now ‼️

tagging— whoever wants to join, pls feel free to do so ✨✌🏼

[taeghi]

lee heeseung - the brother's best friend trope

"what if he comes home early?" "then we're fucked, but at least we'll be fucked together."

summary : keeping your crush on heeseung a secret from heeseung was hard, but keeping it a secret from sunghoon was even harder. what do you do when you accidentally fall in love with your older brothers best friend?

you sneak around behind his back of course.

word count : 29,000 (how did i do that lol)

includes : severe angst, fluff and smut

read the other volumes?

PART 2 HERE

🤎 minors do NOT interact

taglist : @srirachibi @ryu-naa @blank-velvet @hoonstrology @person-standing @yuakagi @moasworld @rein-deer-stuffs @ily-cuz-i @lix-freckle3 @leeis @turnipsandflowerss @hoewithnojams @liliansun @melaninjhs @sunshine-skz @andromedawillburryyou (sorry if i forgot anyone, please reblog!!!)

being park sunghoon's little sister was difficult.

it was difficult already to have an older brother that annoys you every five seconds, but it was even more difficult because he just had to have hot friends.

hot friends that sunghoon made sure knew that you were completely off-limits.

when sunghoon entered high school, he was immediately somehow made popular and quickly made a small friend group with the other popular boys in his grade; jay park and jake shim. another boy, who was a year older than sunghoon also hung out with them quite frequently; lee heeseung.

though you were only a year younger than sunghoon, he treated you like you were five years old. your friends thought that it was sweet that sunghoon was so protective of you- but you thought the complete opposite about it. since he treated you like a baby- that meant his friends treated you like a baby.

sunghoon's friends knew that if he ever caught them even glancing at you for more than a mere second, they would get reprimanded by sunghoon in an instant. sometimes they even thought that sunghoon was a little too protective of you, but then again sunghoon knows how his friends think and how they treat girls. he doesn't want you to get heartbroken like the thousand other girls they have played.

the first time you ever saw lee heeseung was when you were just starting year 8 at your school. sunghoon had brought home heeseung one day after school so they could play some video games together. heeseung was in year 10 at the time, and he was just starting to grow into his features. that didn't stop you from almost physically drooling over him when he first stepped foot into your kitchen.

you remember your mother introducing herself to heeseung, smiling at him and welcoming them into your home, but what she said exactly is all a blur because you were so in shock about how and why this hot guy was friends with your brother.

"that's y/n, but you don't have to talk to her she's pretty annoying." sunghoon's voice got you out of your drooling session. sunghoon pointed his thumb over his shoulder at you before going into the fridge to get him and heeseung a drink before they head up to his room.

"hi, y/n." heeseung said softly with a smile as he stood at the table beside you, waiting for your brother.

"hi." you forced yourself to say, surprising yourself when it came out in a normal tone.

"okay, my room's this way, i'll show you my games and we can play whatever one you want." sunghoon shrugged, leading heeseung up the stairs. "oh and y/n," sunghoon stopped and called to you from the middle of the staircase, making heeseung turn back around to look at you, "don't bug us, seriously, i mean it."

"wha- i won't!" your jaw dropped out of embarrassment and ridicule, "why would i wanna go into your musty room anyways." you rolled your eyes, turning your body away so they wouldn't see the flash of pink on your cheeks from the humiliation.

"shut up, it is not musty." sunghoon grumbled, turning again to head upstairs, you heard a soft chuckle from heeseung as he also turned around and followed your brother up the stairs.

after that day, you saw heeseung at your house a couple of times per month, along with jay and jake. they quickly turned into regular guests at your house, walking into your residence without even knocking by the end of the school year. your parents had started acting like they had just randomly gained three extra sons.

at first, whenever you were around jay or jake, you could sense that they were a bit reluctant to talk to you. you figured that it was just because you were younger than them. there would be times when jay and you would be cracking jokes in the living room whilst he waited for your brother to finish getting ready, and as soon as he heard sunghoon come down the stairs, jay would back away from you and act as if he didn't know anything about you.

jake didn't really care if sunghoon saw him smile at you, or even just acknowledge your presence. though, you could tell sunghoon got a bit annoyed when he saw jake interacting with you. still, jake would never be caught dead being alone in a room with you, just in case, sunghoon decided to end their friendship then and there because of it.

heeseung, on the other hand, the one that was the most introverted out of all of them, did not care about sunghoon's stupid over-protectiveness of you. heeseung always made sure to say hi to you, to open the door for you when you all started walking to high school together. he didn't care about what sunghoon said or thought because heeseung knew how much sunghoon trusted and adored him. sure, it was annoying seeing his best friend talking to his little sister, but not as annoying as seeing jay or jake talk to her.

sunghoon and his friends loved to party.

usually, the party would happen at your house since your parents frequently liked to go away on weekends- whether it was work-related or if they just needed a little getaway.

during your first year in high school, sunghoon and his friends were having another notorious party at your house. sunghoon had forbidden you to come downstairs and join the party.

you argued with him for hours, but eventually gave up when he didn't seem to be budging.

for hours that night, you heard the music blasting downstairs, along with other teenagers laughing and seemingly having the time of their lives. you so badly wanted to go downstairs and join them.

you lay awake in your dark bedroom, the only light in the room from the moon that shone through your white curtains. every now and then you would hear someone in the hallway, either laughing or whispering until they eventually found a room to crash in.

you mentally apologized to your parents for leaving their bedroom door unlocked.

you think you were just about to fall asleep to the heavy bass downstairs until your phone vibrated on your bedside table beside you.

heeseung 🤎 : are you awake?

you immediately sat up in your bed, sleep leaving you and now being replaced with adrenaline.

why was lee heeseung wondering if you were awake at this late hour?

you scoffed at the thought, probably checking to see if you were up past your bedtime.

you : yeah i am

there was a quick reply from him.

heeseung 🤎 : can i come see you?

you : sure

you started brushing down your hair, hoping that it didn't look too crazy from your head grazing your pillow. your blanket is wrapped around your chest as you wait for him. unsure of what to expect from him.

when ten minutes go by with no sign of him, you sigh and lay back down again, thinking that he's forgotten about you, wouldn't be the first time, you mentally deadpanned, cringing at the memory.

a few months ago, heeseung was staying the night at your house like he usually does. only this time, sunghoon was away with your parents at your aunt's house for her birthday. you had stayed behind because you weren't feeling well and didn't want to get the rest of your family sick. your parents thought that it would be okay to leave you there for the weekend, as heeseung could help watch over you.

it was late at night, probably around the same time that it is now, and you hear heeseung laughing downstairs. you figured that maybe he was watching a tv show or scrolling on his phone.

until you heard a girl's voice.

you remember feeling like all the hairs on your body stood up at once as you took in what was probably happening downstairs. you weren't sure what to do.

you heard heeseung and the girl come upstairs and walk past your bedroom, into his- into the guest- bedroom. you remember closing your eyes and trying to imagine that this wasn't happening. the guy that you liked wasn't about to have sex with a girl in the room beside yours! no, of course not!

that thought worked for maybe five minutes until you heard the soft rocking of the bed against the wall across the room from you.

"shit," you whispered to yourself, your hands coming up to cover your face as you tried to accept your reality.

low grunts and high moans were being heard in the house now. every now and then you could hear the girl whimper out heeseung's name. you tried to not pay attention to it, but the more you listened the more insight you got on what heeseung was like in bed.

your thighs clamped together as you continued to listen. you felt so dirty but your panties were getting soaked at the thought of sweaty heeseung leaning over you and pounding into you just as hard as he was pounding into the girl in the other room.

her moans were getting louder and louder and you figured she was getting close to her climax- the climax that heeseung was giving her.

if you tried really hard, you could tune out her moans and hear heeseung's grunts, you could tell that he was whispering something to her every now and then, with the way his grunts would stop and her loud whines would answer him.

the bed stopped rocking, and their moans and grunts came to a stop. and your house returned to the silence that it once was. you strained your ears to try to hear something, but there was nothing. you figured that they had passed out right after they finished.

you tried to stop, but your fingers danced their way down to your panties, needing to get off because of lee heeseung once again. you had only ever imagined him in a sexual way, but now you had some fuel for your fantasies.

the next morning, you woke up to the sound of the front door opening and closing. quickly remembering the events of the night before, you ran to your window and sneakily looked outside to see who had left.

heeseung was standing outside on the front step in only grey sweatpants as he hugged the girl goodbye.

you didn't know exactly who the girl was, but you knew that she was in your grade. she was really pretty, you had heard some other boys in your classes talk about her before. she was slim and popular and you knew that she was on the dance team at school. there was no wonder as to why heeseung would want to have sex with her. she was borderline perfect.

they pulled away from their hug and she started walking down the street to leave, heeseung came back inside.

you quietly ran into the bathroom before heeseung came back upstairs. you left your bedroom door opened to indicate that you were no longer in there.

you took a long sigh as you looked at yourself in the mirror. you looked exhausted and stressed, something so much different than the way the pretty girl looked in the morning. you felt your pounding headache come back at all the thoughts that occurred the night before.

when you reopened the bathroom door, heeseung was standing at the top of the stairs, a look of surprise and shock on his face as he looked at you. at least he was wearing a sweater now, you didn't know how you were supposed to talk to him while he was shirtless.

"oh! y/n! hi!" heeseung greeted, scratching the back of his neck, "sorry, i, uh, forgot you were home this weekend too, how are you feeling?" he smiled at you, taking in your appearance.

suddenly feeling self-conscious and awkward, you wrapped your sweater closed around you, "I'm feeling a bit better." you shrugged at him, trying to keep cool as if you didn't just hear him fuck the living shit out of a girl last night - and then got off on it after!

"that's good!" heeseung nodded, and a beat of silence passes through you two, "sorry, if i was loud last night, i didn't mean to keep you up if i did."

"no you weren't!" you let out quickly, heeseung put a small smile on your face, "i mean uh, i didn't hear anything, i took some cold medicine and passed out until this morning."

"oh, okay. that's probably why you feel better now."

"yeah! exactly! so uh, I'm just, gonna go back to bed for a little while longer, i guess." you pointed at your bedroom door behind him.

"oh, you don't wanna watch a movie or anything? i was thinking we could watch one of sunghoon's movies that he forbids you to watch, don't worry, i wouldn't tell him." heeseung smiled at you.

"uh, maybe not today. i just want to sleep the rest of this cold off." you nodded, looking down at the carpet.

"aw, okay. i hope you feel better, y/n!" heeseung patted you on the back sincerely.

"Thanks." you got out quickly, making a dart for your bedroom, wanting to get away from his touch even if it was something so platonic. you sighed out of relief as you closed your bedroom door, thank god he didn't hear you that night.

but now, as the party downstairs continued and your heart was racing with anxiety while your mind was racing with thoughts of heeseung, you couldn't help but feel hurt with the fact that he had forgotten you again. why would he even text you in the first place?

suddenly your bedroom door slowly opened, the music getting louder for a second as a figure slipped quietly before shutting it again. you sat up as heeseung turned to look at you.

"'m sorry, were you sleeping?" heeseung whispered out to you as he approached your bed. you were sure if he got closer to you, he would be able to hear how fast and loud your heart was beating. you tried to speak out but all you could think was lee heeseung is in my bedroom, so you shook your head no.

heeseung bent over your bed, allowing a small scent of alcohol to wash around your room. he was drunk.

"i wish sunghoon would let you join our parties." heeseung slurred, his hands holding his upper body up on your bed.

"why?" you asked, amused at heeseung's drunk confession.

"because i wanna hang out with you."

your heart raced faster, trying to piece words together to reply to him.

"sunghoon treats you like a little girl just because you're his little sister but i know you're not so little. you're a grown teenager now."

your heart swelled now, happy that finally, finally, someone didn't see you as a baby. you were glad that that person was heeseung.

"thank you," you whispered back quietly, trying to hold your giant smile in from his words. you heard him deeply chuckle in response. "why'd you wanna come to talk to me anyway?"

"because i wanted to see you, i always have fun with you."

"mm," you nodded, playing with your blanket out of nervousness, "i have fun with you, too." heeseung smiled at that.

"you look pretty in the moonlight."

your eyes widened at his compliment, unsure of what to say. heeseung's deep chuckle broke the silence between you, "fuck, i think i drank too much, sunghoon would kill me if he knew i was in here."

"no, it's okay." you shook your head, gaining some confidence to look at him as he stood up straight again.

heeseung scoffed, "sunghoon would most definitely not think it was okay."

"who cares what hoon thinks? you said so yourself, i'm not a little girl. i can talk to whoever i want."

you see heeseung bite his lip in your dark room, he stares at you intently as if he's contemplating what to do before he snaps out of it. he turns his head away from you and brushes his bangs out of his face.

"fuck, i should go. i'll see you tomorrow, or at school now, i guess." heeseung smiled, "it's cool seeing you in the hallways now." you smiled down at your blanket again, not wanting heeseung to see your blush.

"see you at school, hee."

heeseung smiled once he was back in the hallway, happy to hear his nickname slip off of your tongue so easily.

heeseung never came into your bedroom ever again after then, and never mentioned the incident. you wondered if he even remembered talking to you that night since he was so intoxicated. if your little interaction affected him you'd never know, but it did increase your attraction to him.

summer breaks at your house were always fun since your family had a pool. the parties were more fun in the summer than you'd know since you never got to go to them, but you heard around school that everyone liked your pool.

you liked when just the regular boys would come over; jake, jay, and of course heeseung, when sunghoon would let you hang out with him and his friends for once.

you were sitting on one of the chairs by the pool, reading a book that you weren't really interested in but you were so bored. the four boys were splashing around in the pool, having fun. you were in your own world until cold, wet hands came and picked you up from your chair, making you drop your book at the action.

"sunghoon! no!" you cried out while laughing, your older brother picking you up over his shoulder and making a straight bee-line to the pool. "no!" you laughed mid-air as he threw you into the pool.

when you resurfaced you put a teasing scowl on your face as you looked up at your brother who still stood at the edge of the pool, bent over from laughing. "sunghoon, no!" he mocked your voice.

"shut up!" you whined, pushing your now wet hair back away from your face so it looked a bit cleaner.

"now you're gonna play chicken fight with us, right y/n?" jake smiled at you from across the pool.

"hell no!" you shook your head, you've seen them play chicken fight before and they were ruthless.

"just play one game y/n! we'll put you up against jake so you can win!" jay laughed, shoving jake beside him.

"what the hell is that supposed to mean? jake gasped looking offended.

"come man, you know you suck at chicken fight." sunghoon said, getting back into the pool.

"come on y/n, you can be on my team." heeseung said from beside you, you weren't sure how he got there, but his perfect smile and sun-tanned skin easily persuaded you to cave in and play one game with them.

"okay." you agreed, and next thing you know you're being lifted out of the water and onto heeseung's shoulders. you laugh as you try to balance yourself on top of him. his warm hands wrapping around your thighs to help you.

"you good?" heeseung asked you, trying to look up at you above him.

"yeah! we better win!" you cheered out.

"as if," jake responded, him now sitting on top of jay's shoulders, "we're gonna win so don't even try y/n!"

heeseung and jay started moving closer to each other with you and jake on their shoulders. your hands were pushed out in front of you, ready to defend yourself against jake.

"come here, jakey." you teased out to him, showing him that you're ready.

"you're gonna get it, y/n, i mean it!" jake called out, his hands pushing against yours already.

it took a few pushes and pulls, but luckily, heeseung is really good at balancing you and himself against jay and jake's efforts.

with one final push to jake's forearms, he goes falling back into the water, taking jay with him.

"god, jake! did you have to trap my head in between your legs?" jay sputtered as he came out from the water.

"Sorry! i was stressed!" jake replied sheepishly.

"woohoo! good game y/n!" heeseung cheered, setting. you down into the water and high fiving you.

"i told you we'd win!" you pointed your finger at jake who only pouted in response, making everyone else laugh at him. you felt immense pride in your and heeseung's teamwork, wishing that you could be on heeseung's team all the time now.

later on, when you got out of the pool, ready to go back inside, you could feel someone's eyes on you. sunghoon had gone inside to get a drink, leaving only you and his three friends.

out of the corner of your eye, you could see that it was jay staring at you. his lip tucked in between his teeth as he stared at your legs. feeling suddenly naked under his and probably the other two's eyes, you went to grab your towel to find that it was already gone. fucking sunghoon. he probably didn't realize that he took your towel, but god what a wrong time to mistake it.

"here, y/n." heeseung said from beside you suddenly, "you can use mine." you look down and see that he's giving you his towel to wrap around your body.

"uh, thanks hee, i'll get sunghoon to bring out another one for you." you smiled, trying to quickly wrap it around your body so it was out of view for others to see. it's not like you cared if anyone looked, but you were so socially anxious around hot boys that it made you want to cover up before they could stare at you further.

"no problem." heeseung smiled, moving aside so you could go inside. you stayed by the screen door for a second once you were in, letting go of the breath you were apparently holding in.

"c'mon, man, sunghoon could've been right there!" you heard heeseung's voice grunt out suddenly.

"i know i know! i can't help it! did you see her?' jay's voice carried out, desperation evident in his voice.

"fuck, jay, we can't be talking about this, you know she's off-limits." heeseung replied with frustration.

off-limits.

it rang through your head over and over again and you hated it. you hated sunghoon for treating you like a baby. you hated him for having such hot friends. you hated him for ruining your chances with lee heeseung. if you ever had any. it seemed like you could get any one of their attention besides heeseungs.

and that was something you would make sure would change.

when heeseung graduated high school the next year, it was a sad day for everyone, including your parents. you tried to hide your sadness at the thought of not seeing heeseung around as much since he was to go to college in the capital city, a few hours away from your hometown.

heeseung would no longer be caught raiding your fridge for food at 3am, no longer seen sitting on the bottom step waiting for sunghoon to finish getting ready, and no longer heard laughing about something stupid in the living room.

but of course, you couldn't tell anyone about how upset you were about heeseung leaving. sunghoon would absolutely kill you if he heard that you had a crush on his best friend. plus, you knew that all heeseung ever saw you as was his best friend's annoying little sister.

since your parents were basically losing their non-biological son to college, they decided to have a huge dinner on the night after graduation. the night before, sunghoon, jay, jake, and heeseung had all gone to a graduation party and returned back to your house completely wasted at 5am. when your parents and you woke up the next day, you weren't even sure where the boys were until they all wandered down the stairs at dinner time. they all looked absolutely hungover that it made you chuckle when sunghoon sat down beside you.

"shut it, y/n." sunghoon grumbled to you, shoving your shoulder as he waited or your parents to start bringing the dinner to the table.

"i didn't say anything, hoon." you teased, playing with your fork as you avoided eye contact with your older brother.

"you didn't have to, i can see what you're thinking on that stupid face of yours." sunghoon rolled his eyes.

"god, you're so-" you started but was cut off by your mother bringing in the large chicken she had spent the past two days on making.

"okay!" she interrupted with a smile, obviously trying to avoid the both of you fighting. "here's the chicken! everyone starts to dig in!"

immediately all the boys began taking pieces of chicken and other side foods and putting them on their plates. your mother looked pleased with everyone hungrily taking the food and enjoying themselves with the taste. your father was even eating with a smile on his face.

"so y/n," jay smirked at you from across the table, "how's intak?" he tried to hide his smirk by taking a bite of his food.

"who the damn hell is, intak?" sunghoon grumbled, looking at you with a face of disgust.

"hwang intak." jay responded with a quirk of his eyebrows.

"sunghoon, do you have to use such language?" your mother tsked at your brother before turning to you, "i'm sure he's a nice boy, right y/n?"

"first of all, none of your business sunghoon, and how do you know about intak? NOT like there's much to know anyway." you pointed your fork at jay.

"jungwon." jay shrugged at you casually, "he told me he heard that intak has a crush on youu." jay teased you.

fucking jungwon. jungwon was a year younger than you and somehow became friends with your brother and his friends. jungwon was known for starting or spreading drama. and you hated him. he was always spying on you and trying to suck up to your brother.

"ouuuu." jake added to your teasing.

"and so what if he does?" you tried to fight back during your teasing, feeling embarrassed in front of them. your eyes glanced towards heeseung quickly, expecting to see him with the same teasing smile that jay and jake adorned.

though instead, he wore a deep frown, and a look of worry was spread across his eyes, his fork loosely dragging around his food on the plate.

"if he has a crush on you, he's dead," sunghoon stated from beside you, stabbing his chicken with his fork harshly before plopping the piece in his mouth.

"my goodness, sunghoon! don't speak like that!" your mother tsked your brother again with a gasp at his words, "i think it's sweet that he has a crush on y/n." your mother smiled at you.

"it's whatever." you shrugged, turning your head away from everyone at the table, suddenly feeling self conscious at heeseung's reaction.

"do you not like him back, sweetie?" your mother asked you, watching your demeanor change.

the truth is that you thought intak was cute, and he was sweet and kind to you. you tried to like him back at first, but you just couldn't find yourself liking him more than a friend. your friends thought that you were insane to not like a boy like intak back, but you couldn't help it- your heart was already in the depths with someone else even if you couldn't act upon it.

"not really," you mumbled back as an answer.

"good." sunghoon exaggertaly nodded at you.

"shut up, hoon." you rolled your eyes at him with a small smile, your eyes glancing at heeseung once again, this time his shoulders seemed perkier as his eyes met yours. a smirk on his pretty lips at you before digging into his food once again.

-

the last satuday night before heeseung had to leave for college in early september, the boys had all decided to throw a party at your house as one final goodbye to their highschool days with heeseung. your parents went to your grandparents house for the weekend for a visit, leaving you, sunghoon and the rest of his friends alone in the house with enough time to party. sunghoon had begged his parents to force you to go with them to your grandparents house, but your parents said that it would be fine if you stayed, just so you could see heeseung for the last time, too.

sunghoon had even tried to get you to sleepover at one of your friends house for the night, "seriously y/n just go anywhere! i don't care where just somewhere far from here!" he groaned as he followed you to your bedroom, leaning on your door frame as he watched you sit down at your desk.

"i said no! i want to stay here! why can't i stay in my own house?" you responded, sitting back in your chair to look at your annoyed brother.

"because! its a senior welcome and goodbye party! no one wants your junior ass hanging around!"

"well i won't be the only junior there!"

"what do you mean?"

"i invited sunoo over for a sleepover." you smiled, crossing your arms over your chest.

"oh god!" sunghoon groaned, "fine you can stay! but you can't come downstairs!"

"hm, do you know what? i think i should tell mom about the party, i'm sure she'd want to be here to greet everyone."

"you wouldn't dare."

"you wanna bet?"

"god, you're the worst." sunghoon shook his head, grabbing the handle of your door and closing it after himself, leaving you alone with the feeling of success growing in your chest.

-

sunoo rang your home's doorbell at 8pm sharp, an hour before the party was set to officially begin. excitement filled you as you thought about the fun night ahead of you for your best friend and you.

"i'll get it!" you yelled from upstairs, rushing down the hall from your bedroom, down the stairs to the front door. you swung the door open and revealed sunoo smiling to show that he was just as excited as you were. his pink hair was styled neatly you noticed as he wrapped you up in a hug.

"hi!" he exclaimed, excitedly rocking you back and forth in the embrace. "tonight's gonna be so much fun!"

"i know!" you responded, pulling away from him so he could enter your home, closing the door after him.

"what. the fuck. are you wearing." you heard sunghoon state from behind you, you sighed and turned around to face your older brother. the look of disappointment and annoyance on his face made you want to curl up in a ball from embarrassment and punch him in the face at the same time.

behind sunghoon you heard a surprised "oop" from jake as he saw your outfit and immediately turned him and jay around to avoid sunghoon getting angry at them for looking at his sister.

though, beside sunghoon stood heeseung looking as attractive as ever with his eyes wide open in shock as he scanned your body. you noticed him gulp hard as his eyes seemed to not be able to leave your bare thighs. heeseung finally snapped out of his daze when you spoke back to sunghoon.

"what does it look like i'm wearing? it's a dress." you rolled your eyes, your arms coming across your chest, pushing your breasts together, making heeseung bite his lip at the sight in front of him.

"THAT'S a DRESS?" sunghoon exclaimed, pointing at your outfit before walking up to you and shaking his head, "no. no. no. you are not wearing that. go upstairs and change or you're not allowed to leave your room all night and i mean it." his words made sunoo pout from beside you, making sunghoon glance at him briefly with annoyance.

"what are you? my fucking dad? i can wear what i want, sunghoon." you argued, standing up to your brother.

"y/n i don't care what you want, just go fucking change." sunghoon's voice dropped to show that he was more serious than ever. your shoulders drooped in a sign of defeat to once again, your brother.

"you're the worst," you mumbled to him, turning away from him to go back to your bedroom, sunoo smiling awkwardly at him before he followed you.

at the top of the stairs, you glanced back down and met heeseung's eyes, quickly smiling at him with a knowing smile before you were out of each other's sight. it took heeseung a moment to realize you were smiling at him, shaking his head softly with a smirk as he turned away from the stairs and followed the rest of the boys to the kitchen again. he hoped to god no one noticed the effect you had on him.

-

"did you see heeseung eye fucking you!" sunoo practically yelled once you two were in your bedroom.

"shh!" you hurriedly shushed him, both of you straining to listen for any yelling but all seemed quiet downstairs, "imagine what sunghoon would've done if he heard you!" you laughed, "and yes i saw him!"

"oh my god, y/n! he was so close to just taking you right then and there i was about to just leave the room to make it easier for him!"

"shut up!" you hit sunoo's shoulder, "you're crazy!"

"i am not!" sunoo fell back onto your bed with a final laugh. "what are you gonna do about it?"

"what do you mean?" you asked him, going through your closet to find another outfit that would be deemed "sunghoon approved".

"i mean, now that we know that lee heeseung has the hots for you, what's the plan for getting him into bed with you?" sunoo shrugged casually as if he was pointing out the obvious.

"ohhh riight," you replied sarcastically, "cause as if that is ever gonna happen." you pulled out a long-sleeved, dark blue dress and held it up to your body, looking at yourself in the mirror quickly before turning around to show sunoo it.

"why wouldn't it happen?" sunoo whined, "who cares about your brother, i'm sure heeseung doesn't since he couldn't force himself to look away from you! and yes! wear that dress." you laughed at sunoo before turning back to the mirror to examine yourself.

"don't let me get my hopes up sunoo," you sighed, "he's my brother's best friend, not in a million years would we get to be together."

-

by 10pm, your house was filled with intoxicated teenagers, all trying to fulfill their final senior in high school moments, or hang out with their now college freshmen friends for a final time.

you had lost sight of sunghoon or any of his friends an hour ago, all of them getting lost in the moment of the party with their other friends. though, you still knew that everyone at the party knew who you were- park sunghoon's sister- and that you were totally and strictly off-limits. you rationalized that that was why no one was talking to you or sunoo, but it was also probably because you two were the youngest ones there and were deemed as 'losers' at school.

there was always a different thought that came to mind when someone thought of park sunghoon and then park y/n.

park sunghoon : popular, talented, hot- a guy that uses girls for sex just like all his friends.

and then park y/n : park sunghoon's geeky little sister that wasn't allowed to leave her house after 6pm.

"hey, cheer up," sunoo tried to reassure you, "don't let your asshole brother ruin tonight for you."

you smiled at your friend, greatful for him, "i know, i know. he just pisses me off so much."

"then drink," sunoo said, pushing your hand that held your cup towards your mouth, "and let it go so we can have fun!"

"fine," you stated, tipping your cup all the way back, finishing the full cup. you winced at the strong taste of liquor, making you and sunoo laugh before going and getting another.

it wasn't long before the alcohol started helping you relax a b it and forget about your reputation, wanting to just let go and have fun. you had lost sunoo in the crowd in your house a while ago, both of you getting sucked into different dancing crowds. you couldn't force yourself to care, too focused on dancing and listening to the loud music.

everyone around you was too focused on having their own fun time to pay attention to you and others. you didn't recognize anyone around you. it felt great to let go for once and not worry about others. it felt you fit in normally for once and weren't marginalized from the kids in your generation.

"you look like you're having fun." a male's voice said into your ear from behind you. you quietly gasped at the sudden voice, thanking the music for being loud enough for the boy behind you to hear it. you turn your head so you could glance at who it was.

you immediately recognized him as choi beomgyu, one of the boys that had just graduated with heeseung. you've seen him around a bunch of times at school, he was friends with your brother and they hung out a lot.

choi beomgyu was known for being an extremely good guitar player, he made a lot of girls fall for him it. when you were in year 9, a couple of girls in your year made a list of all the attractive 2001's in your school, and you remember beomgyu being second on the list- right after heeseung.

beomgyu was also known for having a thing for girls younger than him. of course he'd never go for a freshman while he was a senior, but tons of girls in your grade were played by him this year. you'd always hear about it in passing in the halls or in class. all the girls he'd talk to were pretty and outgoing, always on the cheer team or the dance team where they could show their extravertedness.

so you were shocked that the choi beomgyu would pay attention to you at a party. the shy, introverted, and babied y/n.

"i am." you replied to beomgyu, looking him in the eyes without turning your body towards him. leaving his crotch to grind on your ass. his hands held onto your waist as he urged you to keep dancing like you were before without him.

"i see," beomgyu nodded before leaning further into your ear, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, "do you think you could have fun with me, too?" the closeness and warmth of beomgyu were suddenly so vivid that you felt like you were drunk and high at the same time. your head becomes cloudy with thoughts of what will happen tonight and how much fun you could have especially if choi beomgyu was around.

"dance with me a little longer and you'll find out," you whispered back to him with a tone of teasing in your voice. beomgyu obviously liked your answer by the deep chuckle that escaped his lips and the grip on your waist tightened as if to say you're his for the night now.

dancing with beomgyu gave you so much confidence that it made you wish everyone could see you now- park sunghoon's baby sister is grinding with choi beomgyu. you wonder what they would all think if they saw it. you wonder what heeseung would think.

at the thought of heeseung you opened your eyes and were visibly shocked when they were met with heeseungs from across the living room. the world no longer felt like it was just you and beomgyu, but as if it was you and heeseung and beomgyu was just a major side character that ruined things for the mains.

heeseung was sitting in the armchair that faced you. the armchair where he'd sit with sunghoon and play video games with him, the arm chair where you'd do your homework and ask sunghoon for help but ultimately get helped by heeseung- the arm chair where heeseung had sat so many times before that always made you think how easy it would be to just sit on his lap and make out until you could no longer breathe.

heeseung's legs were stretched out manspreading and covered in his black ripped jeans. in his hand, he held a red solo cup as he tried to stay in the conversation with his friend on one side and a girl on his other side. the girl was very obviously trying to get the attention of heeseung- and maybe she was actually getting it before he saw you dancing with his friend across the room.

at first, heeseung told himself that he's watching you swivel your hips so fucking beautifully against beomgyu to make sure neither of the two of you went any further. he was looking out for you! he was making sure beomgyu wasn't going to be pummeled to death by sunghoon after tonight and that you wouldn't be ejected from society because sunghoon wouldn't trust you after.

but the more and more heeseung watched, the more and more he couldn't help the jealousy growing in his chest as he watched the way beomgyu would whisper into your ear, the way you would put your hand over beomgyu's hand on your waist- the fucking way you were making yourself and beomgyu feel so good by the grinding of your hips that makes him wish that it was him behind you and not the stupid bastard choi beomgyu.

heeseung knew that the pretty girl beside him, minjeong, wanted his dick. he knew that as soon as he said the word she would follow him up to the guest bedroom that more like his bedroom since he's been at this house practically every day since he was 15. he had planned to hold off on her until the end of the night, but you had put a fat hold on those plans the second he saw you.

every part in heeseung knew that he shouldn't be thinking about you this way. he knew that if sunghoon ever found out that he'd be dead in a millisecond. he tried to avoid those thoughts of you by listening to jeongin talk beside him- he tried to keep up the conversation with jeongin- he tried to keep minjeong interested in him but all that would come up in his head was that you were grinding against beomgyu when it should be him there instead.

when you opened your eyes and were met with heeseung. he could sense the worry rush through your body from across the room. he could see how blown out your pupils were from a mix of shock and all the alcohol you had been drinking tonight.

when heeseung just continued to watch you with beomgyu, you decided to put on a show not only for beomgyu, but for heeseung as well. and quickly, the excitement for tonight with beomgyu turned into the excitement for tonight with heeseung.

you tilted your head back to lay on beomgyu's shoulder, pushing your chest out and ass more into beomgyu's crotch. you could feel beomgyu get harder every minute you've been dancing together.

"oh fuck." beomgyu groaned out quietly, his eyes directed right at your tits that were in his view now. your soft skin visible to anyone that would see.

heeseung smirked at you once he realized what you were up to. you didn't break eye contact with him as you gritted your hips against beomgyu harder, your panties becoming soaked now that you were imagining what heeseung would do to you. you imagined that heeseung was behind you instead of beomgyu.

the moment between you and heeseung was ruined when beomgyu offered for you to go to the bathroom with him to "continue our fun in a more private area.". it was like you were brought back to reality and not some future imagination that you once thought you were in. you still your dancing on beomgyuy and turned away from your brother's best friend. "hm?" beomgyu urged you for an answer, putting his forehead to yours as you stared into each other's eyes, pure lust was set in his as he scanned your face.

fuck.

"i-, um," you tried to answer, but your words all meshed into one, unaware of how you should answer him.

"i think it's time for you to leave, y/n." a voice answered for you, causing you and beomgyu to pull apart.

heeseung stood right in front of you two with an expression you weren't able to read but made you try to sober up quickly.

"oh, hey heeseung!" beomgyu smiled once he saw who it was, "how are you, my man?" beomgyu and heeseung dapped each other up warmly.

"eh, i'm good," heeseung shrugged, "it was nice to see you, but i gotta get y/n to bed." you scoffed beside beomgyu at heeseung's words not believing what you were hearing.

"oh? for real?" beomgyu asked confusedly, looking between you and heeseung. you couldn't bear to look up at any of them because you could feel the heat go to your cheeks from embarrassment yet again- only this time it wasn't because of your brother- it was because of his best friend.

"yeah, man, sunghoon's looking for her." you physically cringed at your brother's name.

"oh?" beomgyu said with a confused tone, "OH!" he said again a second later, obviously realizing who you were, "oh shit." beomgyu stepped away from you. "look, - i didn't-"

"hey, it's okay, it'll stay between you and me and i'm sure y/n won't tell sunghoonie, right?" heeseung patted beomgyu's shoulder as he looked at you.

all you could do was shake your head no, still not being able to look at the two older boys from humiliation.

"great! well uh, see you around, i guess," beomgyu said to no one in particular before walking back and getting lost in the crowd.

"c'mon." heeseung stated suddenly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and guiding you through the crowd of people towards the stairs to the second floor.

heeseung's so familiar scent put your mind in a haze, a different haze than the drunk one it was previously in. the music downstairs was somewhat quieter upstairs, quiet enough for heeseung to hear how loud your heart was pounding in your chest.

when you got to your bedroom in the hall heeseung backed away from you slightly and stared at you, the same unreadable expression plastered on his face. the atmosphere between you two felt awkward to the point where you felt like you couldn't breathe.

"why were you with beomgyu?" heeseung broke the silence with a disgusted and disappointed face.

you scoffed, feeling as if you were talking to your father yet again, "who cares who i was talking to? i can do what i want."

"i care!" heeseung said, walking closer to you so your back was up against the wall. "what would've happened if sunghoon saw the two of you like that?"

"i don't care about what sunghoon would've done! i'm my own person i can make my own decisions!"

heeseung sighed at your statement, his eyebrows coming together as his fingers pressed against the crease in his forehead, "fuck y/n," he shook his head before looking at you, "i know that. just- did it have to be beomgyu?"

"jesus, then who do you deem acceptable for me?" you stood up straight, looking heeseung in his eyes now, both of you carrying serious expressions. please say you, please say you, you mentally begged heeseung.

heeseung slowly leaned his face towards yours, his scent intoxicating you more. his face was so close to yours that you could see all his freckles and blemishes. you could hear his quiet, heavy breathing that indicated he was just as nervous as you were. you stared in the eyes of each other, neither one of you moving as if the other was daring the other one to move first.

heeseung's hand came up and you thought he was going to rest it on your cheek, but it rested on the wall behind your head, trapping you in. and just when you thought you were going to get all your senses filled by heeseung, he pushed off the wall so he was farther away from you now. you felt cold when he stood a meter in front of you, not even glancing at you as he put his hand on his waist and the other wiped his jaw to show that he was stressed.

"we can't, y/n." heeseung whispered, barely audible over the music and the cheers from downstairs.

"and why not?" you asked, pushing yourself off of your closed, bedroom door and taking a few steps ahead, your body only a centimeter away from heeseung's.

"you know why." heeseung glanced at you as you stood in front of him now.

you rolled your eyes in frustration now at his response, a huff coming out of your mouth, "no. i don't. so why don't you say it."

a beat of silence went between you two again before he said outloud, "because you're my best friend's little sister. that's so-..."

"so what?" you urged him to finish his sentence.

"so... ugh, there just shouldn't be an attraction here!" you could see heeseung was getting just as frustrated as you were, though his words dug into your heart a little. heeseung and you knew how sensitive you were, you could both feel the drop in the atmosphere because of the hurt that was now playing on your heart strings.

you back away from heeseung while looking down at the ground, digging your shoe into your carpeted floor, "so then, what now?"

heeseung looked up at you with a melancholic look on his face that told you what he was going to say next wouldn't be good, "we- you have a good night. everyone will be leaving soon anyway and i'll find sunoo and send him up here, too."

both of you could barely look at one another; there were too many emotions in the air to control at the moment; anger, frustration, lust. heeseung was caught up in his mind until he heard a soft sniffle coming from you. he shot his head up and he felt a rush of guilt wash over him at your weakened figure.

"y/n-" he started, reaching out towards you.

"you have a good night, heeseung." you cut him off, turning and walking into your bedroom, closing the door quickly behind you. all of your emotions hit you at once and you felt so weak. you were frustrated with sunghoon, upset that your night didn't go as planned, and sad that you were rejected by heeseung and wouldn't see him for a long time. you felt like your whole life changed drastically in a span of one night and it became overwhelming.

heeseung slowly went back downstairs, upset and confused about what he had done tonight. he gathered up jake and jay and told them to kick everyone out. he asked them where sunghoon had gone but they hadn't seen him for a while.

when people started leaving, it made it easier for heeseung to find sunoo.

"hey, y/n's in her room already." heeseung reached out and tapped sunoo on the shoulder so he would turn around.

"already?" sunoo slurred his short question. it was so obvious that sunoo was wasted which made heeseung chuckle a bit.

"yeah, do you need help getting to her room or are you okay?"

"i'll be okay, heeseungie." sunoo smiled his usual eye smile, pinched heeseung's cheek, and walked towards the stairs, holding tightly onto the railing. heeseung felt his cheeks blush at sunoo's sudden nickname for him, but brushed it off and went to look for sunghoon.

five minutes later and he found him on the floor of the upstairs bathroom.

"sunghoon, what the hell?" heeseung exclaimed loudly, rushing to his friend's side. sunghoon only grumbled in response. "did you throw up?" sunghoon nodded with his eyes barely opened. "how many times?" sunghoon held up three fingers. "jesus."

heeseung got his best friend all cleaned up and then tucked him into bed with the help of jake and jay. he heard giggling coming from your bedroom and figured that sunoo had made you feel better from the last time he had seen you.

jake and jay fell asleep on the couches downstairs, too drunk and exhausted to make their way back to their houses. and then finally heeseung lay down in his second bedroom. the one that was referred to as the guest bedroom, but the guest that occupied it was not even a guest of this house anymore.

as soon as heeseung's head hit the guest's pillow, his phone went off from a notification on instagram.

[hee.heesung] k.minjexng : sent an image.

heeseung sighed when he opened the dm from the girl he was talking with earlier, realizing that she was definitely upset he disappeared from her.

the image was a picture of her pale legs and a man's head of hair in between them.

k.minjexng : this is what you missed out on 😘

heeseung rolled his eyes and exited instagram, instead he opened his messages app, his thumb circling around his previous messages with you.

-

when you woke up in the morning, sunoo was snoring beside you softly. his pink hair was sprawled out on your white pillowcase and a soft smile was stuck on his face while he slept. it was evident that he had a fun night last night.

unlike you.

your phone held a bunch of notifications from the night, but not one of them was from heeseung. disappointment sunk into your chest farther, making it feel heavy.

sunoo had made you feel better before you went to bed, but it was still upsetting that your crush of three years had flat out rejected you.

when sunoo had finally woken up about an hour later, his headache was killing him. you went downstairs to get him some advil, and was surprised to see that the house was ordinarily clean.

"good morning, sweetie!" your mom called out to you from the island. you were shocked that your parents were home this early, as well as that sunghoon, jake, and jay was awake as well. "you just missed heeseung." your mom pouted, the statement making your chest feel heavier.

"what?" you asked her, hoping that you misunderstood her.

"yeah, he leaves for college in an hour." sunghoon mumbled, it was obvious that your brother was upset that he was losing his best friend because of the way life goes.

"Oh." you said, trying to hide the sadness you were feeling, wishing you had woken up earlier.

"it's okay, kids, he'll be back for winter break." your dad spoke, feeling the tense atmosphere in the kitchen now. even jake and jay were upset that heeseung was leaving them.

"yeah, you're right, it's just weird to think that there's only going to be three of us now." jay nodded, taking a bite of his cereal.

they all continued to converse but you couldn't even hear what they were saying. your thoughts took over so much room in your head now that you could barely be focused. you managed to get sunoo some medicine and make your way back up to your room without another word from you or your family.

you felt like you were just about to accept the fact that you and heeseung are 1000% never being together when your phone got a text.

from : heeseung 🤎

i'm sorry for last night. i hope you have a good year at school though

and btw i liked the first dress more

a smile crept onto your face at his last text, and the butterfly of hope flew around your stomach once again.

the fall season quickly came and left, and your junior year of high school was already halfway over when christmas break began.

you hadn't heard from heeseung directly since you had last seen him at the end of the summer party that your brother threw. you never texted him, in fear of making it awkward between you two.

though you haven't spoken to heeseung, sunghoon has. they are still best friends even though they live hours apart in different parts of the country. sunghoon was definitely looking forward to heeseung's return during their winter break, and secretly you were too.

the only person who knew about your little crush and interaction with heeseung was sunoo, who constantly tried to persuade you to text heeseung. of course, you never did.

"so are you excited?" sunoo asked, his scarf muffling his voice as you walked home from school with him.

"for what?" you asked, shoving your hands deep into your pockets to try to keep them warm from the winter breeze. the snow crunched under your feet with each step the two of you took. your large jackets rustled with each step.

"for heeseung to come home, you idiot!" sunoo yelled out, hopefully, no one else had turned onto the street with you that you knew.

"well i mean, yes but no," you responded in a normal tone.

"maybe he forgot about the last time you saw him!" sunoo tried to make you feel better about the rejected and crying moment you last had with heeseung, "the last thing he texted you about was your dress! maybe all he remembers is how hot you looked!"

"yeah, before sunghoon made me change!" you shoved sunoo, trying to force yourself to feel a bit happier that heeseung was returning.

"you looked hot in the other outfit, too!" sunoo shoved you back, "but seriously y/n, it's gonna fun! he'll probably just act around you like he usually does."

"like i'm sunghoon's baby sister and that i barely exist?" you deadpanned rolling your eyes at the thought of your older brother again.

"exactly!"

-

walking into your home alone after sunoo turned down his own street was walking into a different atmosphere than you expected. sunghoon was sitting on the couch with an annoyed look on his face, while your mother was beside him rubbing his back and your father was standing by the tv trying to support his son from afar.

"uh, hey guys?" you announced yourself awkwardly, not sure of what you had just walked into.

"hi, sweetie." your mom forced a smile.

"is everything okay?" you asked the three of them.

"yeah! heeseung's not coming." sunghoon mumbled a response without looking away from the wall in front of him.

"what? why?" you asked, your heart racing with disappointment and fear. was he not coming because of you? did he think it would be too uncomfortable to be in the same room with you again?

"because he thinks it'd be too stressful on his grades, so he wants to stay to study more." sunghoon grunted before standing up, "i'm going to my room." your parents and you watched your older brother storm up the stairs into his bedroom. he was obviously upset that he still wouldn't be seeing his best friend after months.

"are you okay about it?" your mother asked, worried for you as well.

"what? yeah, i'm fine. why would i care if heeseung came home or not?" you asked quickly, hoping that they weren't onto you about having a crush on heeseung.

"oh, i thought you were close with him too, no? he was over all the time before he went to college." your mother replied with a look of confusion on her face about the speed of your response.

"eh, well, i still have jake and jay and my real brother, right?" you forced a laugh out, hoping that it wasn't obvious you were trying to hide something.

"yeah, right." your parents nodded, shrugging before heading to the kitchen together to prepare dinner.

you let out a sigh of relief once they left the room with no further questions, but that didn't relieve the anxiety of heeseung not returning. as you head back to your room you do figure that it would be weird without having heeseung around for winter break. it was almost tradition to have him and the other boys sleeping over for two weeks straight. you wonder what they would do this break? would it just be the three of them?

before you push open your door something inside of you stops and glances over at sunghoon's closed door. you ponder about what he's feeling inside. he's never been good with showing his emotions, not even to your parents. when he got hurt as a little boy he would hide it until your parents would notice blood seeping through his pants from falling off his bike and scraping his entire leg right open. he still insisted he was fine when they took him to the doctors and said he needed stitches.

you sighed and walked over to his bedroom, hesitating once before knocking on his door.

"what?" you heard him grunt out.

"can i come in?" you called out to him.

a beat of silence passed and you thought he was just ignoring you at this point, "sure."

you pushed open his door to find him sitting on his bed in the dark, only the screen of his tv was on and it was on mute. "what is it? i'm tired." you fought the urge to roll your eyes at him blaming his sadness on fatigue. you walked over to his bed and sat down beside him.

"you know i think you're a good older brother, right? you've always looked out for me, and made sure i was safe. you spent your christmas allowance on me when we were younger so you could buy me a present."

sunghoon left his window open a crack, making his room a bit chilly as the sound of someone's car starting outside ruins the silence between you two. you knew that sunghoon always wanted to take care of you, and now you feel like it's your turn to take care of him. though, you feel nothing like your older brother.

in his senior year, you never thought that you would have to take care of your older brother in a way that he takes care of his little sister. but you never know what sunghoon is going through. he keeps things to himself when he gets to the point where he feels like breaking down he stays silent. the only person he's ever trusted was heeseung.

"you always seem so happy when you're with your friends, truly, and i swear i've never seen so many people stop what they were doing just to listen to someone speak- but you do that to people."

you use to be jealous of sunghoon about it. how did he get to be so popular while you were just the school's runt? how did he get to have girls falling at his feet and guys begging to be his friend? you loved sunoo, but sometimes you wished that you had a friend group to hang out with other than sunoo and sunghoon's friends that weren't allowed to even look at you.

"and you know i worry about you at the same time. i know how introverted you are and how hard you try to be so outgoing at school so people will still like you. that's so much stress on a person mentally. and still, at home, i try to be a good sister for you but i feel like i'm no good at that, so i'm glad you've found a brother within heeseung. so i'm sorry that heeseung isn't coming back for winter break, that must really fucking hurt, hoon. but i love you, and i'm trying to be a good sister now, and i want to change our sibling relationship for the better."

you don't realize that you've started crying until sunghoon wraps his arm around you and pulls you into his side. that's when you notice he's started crying too. you think at that moment that you've never seen your brother cry before. you've never shared this much of a brother-sister moment before. it feels like the two of you are just little kids again, trying to figure out this world before the world figures it out for you instead. an expression of relief washes over sunghoon's face as you both take in the peaceful silence between you too.

when sunghoon speaks it's quiet, but you know he means it with his whole body and soul, "i wouldn't trade having you as a little sister for the world. heeseung's my friend, never my sibling."

-

after winter break, your relationship with sunghoon seemed to change drastically, and for the better. he no longer had this over-protectiveness of you. it was like you had aged from 5 years old to 17 years old in a week.

this winter break was definitely the weirdest one, but the best one. sunghoon invited you to hang out with jay, jake, and him, even allowing for sunoo to join, too. you all played video games, made gingerbread houses, and freaked out your parents by how strangely you two were getting along.

you heard sunghoon running around your house at 7am on the first day of summer break- the morning after sunghoon had graduated from high school. you groaned and threw your pillow over your head, mentally punching your brother for waking you up so early for no reason.

you were just about to drift off to sleep again when your bedroom door slammed open, "y/n!" sunghoon yelled excitedly.

you groaned in response, sleep still fogging up your mind and body.

"y/n! wake up!" sunghoon jumped on your bed, shaking your body awake.

"what?" you sat up finally, looking at your brother with anger. "what is it?"

"heeseung's coming home today!" sunghoon grabbed onto your shoulders, shaking you with excitement.

"oh my god!" you yelled back, a smile on your face.

"we're picking him up in an hour, wake up!"

'i'm awake now, okay!?"

sunghoon shook you once last time and jumped off your bed with a ginormous smile on his face, "wooooo!" sunghoon cheered as he ran out of your room.

the excitement you felt about heeseung's return quickly faded when you started to actually realize what it would mean to see heeseung again. it's been 10 months since you had seen him in person. 10 months since you had almost (maybe?) kissed in your hallway, meters away from your drunk brother.

you felt a sudden feeling of stress begin to bubble up in your chest at the fact that standing in front of heeseung again. a lot can change in 10 months, and you wonder if that included his feelings towards you...

throughout the school year, you had noticed that over time, there would be a day or two that would go by that you wouldn't think about heeseung, your heart would ache at the sudden realization that you had forgotten about him for a second. but when sunghoon would mention his name later, or show you a picture that heeseung had sent him of himself, the familiar feeling of the attraction you had for heeseung would come swirling back at you.

there were days when your finger would hover over heeseung's contact name on your phone, contemplating whether or not you should text him or not. what would you say though? what would he think? "oh god, my best friend's little sister is obsessed with me?". at that thought, you would instantly put your phone away, trying to distract yourself from the thoughts of heeseung again.

you basically spent the whole early morning getting your appearance to look as best as it could for heeseung's return. you wanted to look good for heeseung. you think it's the longest time you've spent on your appearance all school year.

when you heard the familiar tires of your car pull up in the front of your house, your heart froze. you weren't mentally prepared to see heeseung.

"y/n! they're here!" your mother called you from downstairs.

on shaky legs you made your way downstairs, standing on the last stair as you watched your mother swing up the front door to reveal your dad and sunghoon laughing, carrying a bag in each hand.

"heeseung! honey!" your mother yelled excitedly, you could see her hands fly up and around someone's shoulders, but your vision was blocked by your family. "god, how was the flight? how are you?"

"i'm good! it was good!" a light chuckle spoke, it had been a while since you had heard heeseung's voice- it sounded the same yet different at the same time.

your family finally moved out of the way for heeseung to enter your house once again. you took in a breath as you locked eyes with him standing in your front doorway.

he was still the heeseung that you remembered him as, but he seemed broader and stronger, and his black hair was dyed a blueish green colour that fell so prettily against his skin. his rosy lips held the smirk that you've always known as he takes in your appearance as well.

you look more mature now, more confident in your own skin and he wonders what happened to you in the past 10 months that finally allowed for you to come out of your shell. you look more pretty than heeseung remembers and it's making him weak in the knees as he continues to stare at you until he speaks, "hi, y/n."

"hi." you force yourself to reply. the scene being so coincidentally like the first time you two had met, but this time you're older and you're both aware of your forbidden feelings towards one another.

"are you hungry? come you should sit and eat!" your mother put her hand on his back, ushering him into your house.

"yeah, i'm a bbit hungry!" heeseung laughed, "but i can't stay for too long today! i need to visit my mom later on today."

"oh of course heeseungie! she must've missed you terribly!"

"yeah, something like that." heeseung replied, sitting down at his usual chair at the table, sunghoon and you following him and sitting in your spots: sunghoon sat across from you with heeseung on his left while heeseung was on your right at the very end of the table, across from your father.

"bro, it's been too long." sunghoon sat back in his chair, smiling at heeseung. this has been the most that you've seen your brother smile since heeseung left the last august. it made you happy that sunghoon seemed to be out of the little slump that he's been in.

"i know! i'm glad that you're coming with me this year!" heeseung shoved sunghoon's shoulder.

sunghoon had gotten accepted into the same university as heeseung along with jake. jay had chosen to go to a university abroad in the united states so he could live with his father again.

"it's gonna be so much fun!" heeseung laughed.

"so i guess you're liking university then, son." your father spoke from across the table.

"yeah, it's been great!" heeseung smiled. suddenly, you felt a foot graze across your own. you figured one of the boys had done it by accident, but the foot came back and started to slowly drag its way up your calve and down. you gulped and looked over a heeseung, who only spared you a sneaky glance as he continued to talk to your dad, "i got pretty good grades this year so i'm happy."

"that's great, honey!" your mother chimed in, bringing in a plate of sandwiches for you all to eat.

your mother placed a plate in front of you, you forced a smile at her in return, trying to not focus on heeseung's foot playing with your leg.

"are you okay, y/n?" your mother asked you as she sat down beside your dad.

"hm? yeah! of course!" you replied, grabbing a sandwich quickly and placing it on your plate. almost dropping it when heeseung's hand plopped down on your thigh underneath the table. you looked up at him in shock, he placed his body so it looked like he was leaning his hand on his chair underneath him, and took a bite of his sandwich with his other.

you felt the eyes of everyone on you turn away at your response, opting to be more interested in the freshly-back-in-town-heeseung.

"so do you like your roommate?" your mother continued the conversation with heeseung. his fingers slowly started to move up and down your thigh, dangerously close to your core. you tried to focus on eating your sandwich but he was making it so difficult to focus on anything other than his warm fingers.

"yeah, he was cool, but i'm hoping to move in with hoon and jake next year." heeseung shrugged, managing to keep his cool so perfectly.

"do you have a girlfriend, yet?" your mother continued to ask, making sunghoon snort and look at his friend. the question also made your ears perk up, ready for his answer as his fingers continued to do small circles on the inside of your thigh.

"nah, not yet." heeseung shook his head with a sheep smile. a sigh of relief almost escaped your lips, but you covered it by taking a bite of your sandwich.

"hey, do you know who's also back in town for the summer?" sunghoon asked heeseung.

"who?"

"minjeong." sunghoon spoke, quirking his eyebrows up as he said her name.

you hadn't thought about kim minjeong since the goodbye party last year. you remembered then that she was practically climbing on top of heeseung before he pulled you away from beomgyu. you felt a cold shrill go down your spine at the memory.

"ah, who's this minjeong?" your father asked heeseung with a teasing grin.

"ah, nobody." heeseung shook his head, his fingers coming to halt on your thigh as he glanced at your unreadable expression at the mention of another girl's name.

"what do you mean 'nobody'?" sunghoon laughed out, "she's some girl that's had the hots for heeseung since his sophomore year! you literally called her hot like last month!"

at that you pushed away heesueng's hand under the table, feeling disgusted by his touch suddenly. you tried to go back to casually eating your sandwich, but it felt like your stomach was doing twirls and spins. the cold shiver down your spine turned into embarrassment that you'd let yourself be so easy towards heeseung- just like every other girl he usually gets with. you don't know why you thought that you'd be someone different too lee heeseung.

you saw heeseung glance at you from the corner of your eye, but you didn't dare look at him.

"bro, she's whatever, i'm not into her like that." heeseung shrugged, but you knew that he was just trying to downplay it so you weren't mad at him.

"hm, i see." your mother gave a knowing look and stood up from her spot, taking hers and your father's empty plate, "anyways, me and your dad need to go visit your aunt this weekend since she's trying to sell the house, so it'll just be you guys, i'm sorry hee, but we'll be around more next week!"

"Ah that's okay, don't worry!" heeseung replied calmly, seemingly not phased by you being upset with him. when your parents left the room, sunghoon and heeseung gave each other a look. a look that you've seen multiple times throughout the years : party time.

they were obviously planning to throw a big 'start of summer' party this weekend while your parents are away. and this time- you knew that sunghoon wouldn't make a big deal out of you being there as well. though you weren't even sure if you wanted to go- as you knew heeseung would be there. as of right now, you wanted nothing to do with him.

you knew that you and heeseung weren't together, but the idea of him talking about another girl he's obviously attracted to while touching you under the table made you sick. you didn't want to be just some other girl to him.

"are you gonna invite minjeong, heeseungie?" sunghoon smiled teasingly, her name making you almost throw up. the thought of her being in your house- the thought of her and heeseung fucking in the room right next door to yours. god- you couldn't bear it.

"hey, are you okay?" sunghoon asked you, making you snap your eyes open to look at him. "you've barely even eaten your sandwich." you glanced at heeseung again, before nodding your head.

"yeah, i'm just not that hungry right now," you stood up, taking your plate with you, "i'm just gonna go back to bed, see you guys."

"okay." sunghoon nodded, pulling out his phone to most likely start sending invitations to the party this weekend. as you started to return back to your bedroom, you felt heeseung's eyes at the back of your head as you went up the stairs, but you forced yourself not to look at him. disgust still filling your mind.

-

you've been pretty good at avoiding heeseung all week.

telling your parents that you weren't feeling good so you wouldn't have to join the rest of your family and heeseung at the dinner table to eat. basically just camping out in your bedroom for four days until friday night, after your parents had left for the weekend and sunghoon and heeseung's party had started up.

you guess you've also been pretty good at making heeseung mad all week by the way he was glaring at you from across the living room right now.

the red dress you wore matched the anger that boiling u inside of him as he watched you scamper around the party with hwang intak. heeseung usually wouldn't mind seeing you wearing something so sexy, but the fact that he wasn't allowed to touch you meanwhile intak seemed to have no problem doing so.

heeseung knew that things between you and your brother had calmed down- sunghoon had let go of his protective-brother facade and you had grown into a girl that was so confident it made all the other girls in the place look something close to nothing. but he didn't think that would mean you would be wearing a tight dress wrapped under some guy's arm right in front of him. it made him almost want over protective sunghoon to make a return.

"oh my god, heeseungie!" a high pitch shrill pulled heeseung out of his thoughts about you and back into the harsh reality. "how have you been, i missed you so much!" minjeong was wrapping her arms tight around his neck as he pulled him down into a hug. instinctively, his free hand that wasn't holding his cup wrapped loosely around her tiny waist.

"hey! i've been good," heeseung replied, trying to force a smile on his face as he looked at minjeong. it was hard to say that she wasn't a pretty girl- because she certainly was- but her beauty was no match to yours. there was hardly any resemblance between the two of you and maybe that's why heeseung would never find himself in a bed with minjeong.

heeseung glanced towards the direction where he last saw you, and smirked to himself when he saw you staring at the scene going on between him and minjeong. you had been ignoring him and advoiding him all week, but this is what got your attention finally. he was just about to think that you were truly over him, but now with the way he could see the jealousy growing so green in your eyes he knew that his feelings were still atleast somewhat requited.

"ah! i'm so glad you're here! i've been wanting to see you!" minjeong pulled away from him, but still wrapping her tiny hand around his upper arm.

heeseung smirked down at her, "yeah?" he used a teasing tone with her, hoping that you would be trying to listen in. knowing you though, you most definetly were.

anyone could hear minjeong's obnoxious shrill so it was hard not to notice when she came running up to heeseung. you felt your blood run cold as you watched the two embrace each other.

"hey, are you okay?" intak whispered to you, feeling your change in aura suddenly beside him.

"hm? yeah i'm fine." you responded, looking at the black haired boy for a second before glancing back at heeseung and minjeong.

"are you sure? do you want another drink?"

"yeah! okay!" you responded, handing him your red cup.

"okay, i'll be right back!" intak smiled, shoulder shoving you gently before he left you alone.

you tried to not make it obvious that you were staring at heeseung and minjeong but it was so hard not to. it was unfair that the two of them could be affectionate towards one another in public meanwhile you and heeseung couldn't be together, period.

the way minjeong was clinging onto him to protectively, as if she was telling every other girl at the party that heeseung was hers- at least for tonight he was- was something that you'd only ever dreamt of doing with him. you wanted to show him off at a party, show everyone that you were together and that you were his and he was yours.

heeseung was paying so much attention to minjeong, focusing only on her as he answered her questions, making her laugh her annoying laugh. hurt and anger was growing inside of you, you wanted to scream.

"here you go." a red cup came into your view again. you looked up at intak, his easy going smile calmed you.

"thanks." you replied, taking the full cup from him and leaning back against the wall again.

"are you sure you're okay, y/n?" intak asked you once again, leaning his shoulder on the wall beside you.

"yeah, i'm good, just needed another drink!" you reassured him.

the past year, you and intak have gotten quite close. though you shot him down last summer, you still turned out to be great friends. but you still got the feeling that intak had some feelings towards you. his constant staring, and overly-kind gestures were a dead give away but you never did any actions towards him that would give him hope. you were friends- and that was it. until you got the idea to make heeseung just as mad as you were.

if you had to watch him get climbed on by the girl who defintely wanted to fuck him- and who he apparently thought was so hot, then he could watch you have somre fun with your friend.

you turned so your shoulder was against the wall, your front facing intak's, "are you having fun?" you asked him, titling your head to the side as you looked up at him.

"yeah, i am," intak took a sip of his drink, "are you?"

"mm, i am, but only because you're here." you smiled, biting your lip. you noticed the way intak gulped, before trying to laugh your statement off casually. you glanced over at heeseung and minjeong, who had moved over to sit on the lawson chair your family had in the living room. you almost threw up when you saw that she was sitting on his lap. when you glanced up heeseung, you didn't expect to meet his eyes.

there was a tone of amusmant and arrogance in his eyes as he looked at you, as if he was saying, "how's that?" you internally huffed at him, which was probably evident on your face as a smile spread across his lips.

minjeong put her hand on his shoulder, grabbing his attention away from you as she spoke to him.

"y/n?" intak asked, you forgot that he was standing there.

"yeah?"

"i asked if you wanted to go outside."

"oh, uh, i-"

"look, what's wrong? you seem distant and you're acting weird." intak sighed, standing up straight in front of you.

"nothing's wrong! i'm fine!" you urged him to believe you. his hand suddenly came up and was placed on your forehead, checking to see if you had a fever. you glanced at heeseung, who had an eyebrow raised at you.

you put your hand on top of intak's, looking up at him through your eyelashes, "do i feel okay?"

"y-yeah, i think so." intak stuttered, shocked at your tone of voice, he pulled his hand away from you, trying to ignore the warmth that is sent through his body.

part of you felt bad because you were obviously just playing intak, but it would only be for tonight. you cared about him as a friend and you wouldn't go any further than a little flurting with him.

you moved closer to intak, so that your bodies were only a mere centimere apart, you could still see heeseung and minjeong's bodies over intak's shoulder. "i think i just want to stay in here, i like listening to the music." you nodded to intak.

"oh, okay." intak whispered out, not being able to take his eyes off of you. he's trying to rememeber if he's even been this close to you before. your perfume that he's become so familiar with is literally surrounding him because you're so close to one another. your pretty eyes seem so clear as you look up at him. he's trying so hard to keep his cool around you.

heeseung can hear minjeong speaking, but he doesn't know or to be honest, care, about what exactly she is saying. you're basically standing ontop of intak and he can most likely see right down your dress from his angle. minjeong brings heeseung back to her when she wraps her arm around his neck behind him, leaning closer to him now. heeseung smiles at her, and wraps his free arm around her back, basically cuddling her into his side as he looks at you.

you tsk lowly, watching the two of them pretend to be a couple while you know heeseung is only thinking about you right now. it hurts that he's touching another girl right in front of you, it seems to be pushing you farther and farther away from him, but the both of you can't give up so easily. both too stubborn to let the other one win. you don't know where this sudden 'game' of jealousy came from but you were determined to win.

you grab intak's free arm and put it on your waist, letting his fingers grab a hold of your side. through the thin layer of your dress you can feel his warmth. intak stumbles a second before gripping onto you tighter, shocked at how bold you are being with him. his inner monologue is fighting between either you're just really drunk or you're finally realizing that you have feelings for him.

heeseung takes a deep breath out of anger as he watches intak enjoy holding on to you, any guy in their right mind would kill to be intak right now.

throughout your high school days, it was so obvious that every guy in your school thought you were hot, but of course, sunghoon would kill anyone that tried to hit on you. heeseung always wondered if you knew just how attractive you were. there had been so many conversations that he's overheard about what the guys in your school would do to you if they ever got the chance. if they ever got permission from sunghoon.

why did sunghoon have to let go of his protective stance when he went to college? he couldn't have done it sooner so maybe he would get a chance himself?

heeseung almost laughs at the thought, as if sunghoon would let you date his best friend.

"are you tired, heeseungie?" minjeong purrs into his ear.

"hm?"

"you seem tired, do you want to go lay down?" he turns to look at the girl who's basically crawling on top of him and forces a smile.

"maybe in a bit, yeah?"

"Okay." she whispers into his ear. he feels her breath against his skin. on any other occasion he's sure he would've taken her up to his room by now, but he had no desire to pull anyone else except for you upstairs with him.

with minjeong leaning against his neck so closely, heeseung makes perfect eye contact with you. you tilt your head as a sign of confusion as you watch minjeong pucker her lips, leaning her face into heeseung's neck now.

and all at once, she's kissing slowly onto his skin, wanting to mark him as hers.

you and heeseung take a deep breath at once.

now, you weren't feeling well.

heeseung's eyes never left yours as minjeong made her way down his neck. you felt a heat wave go down your body as you pushed away from intak suddenly.

"do you know what?" you said, passing your cup to intak who was greatly confused, "i really am not feeling good, i'm just going to go to bed, i'll text you tomorrow, tak."

"oh? do you want me to walk you to your room or-" intak asked, concern painted on his face.

"no!" you got out quickly, "just, can you make sure sunoo gets home okay? if you ever see him around."

"yeah for sure." intak nodded, moving so that you could leave, "i hope you feel better, y/n."

"thanks." you mumbled, putting your head down as you made an escape to your bedroom. you felt tears prickle at your eyes. you were so hurt and embarrassed you just wanted to get away from everyone before anyone saw you cry- especially if sunghoon found out you were crying.

you didn't even glance at heeseung as you walked past the sitting area and towards the stairs. you couldn't bear to see him and minjeong anymore- it was all too much. you didn't think he'd actually fuck another girl in your house with you there.

so now, you're alone in your bedroom with thoughts of heeseung replaying in your mind, while he's in the room beside you, legs tangled with another girl.

-

you didn't leave your room all saturday.

sunghoon knocked around noon hour, and you told him you were hungover, making him leave you alone to sleep all day.

you were far from hungover.

you were heartbroken.

you and heeseung weren't a couple, so you shouldn't be this upset. but you couldn't help but feel disappointed. all your hopes were just crushed within the span of 20 minutes last night right in front of you with a girl that was obviously perfect for heeseung.

any girl that wasn't sunghoon's sister seemed to be perfect for him.

when your parents came home sunday night, you were forced out of your room so you could all eat dinner together.

you weren't sure if everyone else could tell how awkward it was between you and heeseung, but the tension was so thick you felt like you were being smothered.

"so, did you guys do anything fun this weekend?" your mother asked the three of you.

"nah, not really, just watched movies and played video games." sunghoon shrugged, smirking at heeseung.

"oh i see, y/n? did you do anything?"

"i hung out with sunoo and intak, that's about it." you saw heeseung tense at the mention of intak, forcing yourself to not roll your eyes at him.

"ah, so just the usual stuff happened around here, then i see." your father joked, eating his meal.

"yeah, pretty much." heeseung nodded at him from across the table.

you felt like dinner was going on much longer than it usually does. you were waiting for the right time to excuse yourself back to your room but the time seemed to never come. your parents were explaining how their weekend went at your aunt's. sunghoon and heeseung were talking about university. you kept quiet the entire time until they were all finished and tired.

your parents went to bed early that night, tired from the weekend's long work. you heard sunghoon and heeseung watching a movie downstairs in the living while you sat awake in your bedroom, scrolling through social media aimlessly.

over time you heard less and less of heeseung and sunghoon's voices being carried up the stairs and wondered if they had gone to bed. you open your bedroom door and head to the bathroom, seeing the flashing lights of the tv on downstairs still, and the quiet voices coming from it.

heeseung hears someone in the bathroom from his guest bedroom as he starts to change for bed. he figures maybe sunghoon woke up and is going to his bed after falling asleep on the couch.

when you walk out of the bathroom you don't really expect to see heeseung standing there, staring at you solemnly. you see him open his mouth to speak but you start to make a beeline straight to your bedroom.

"no, y/n!" heeseung whisper shouts, putting his hand out to stop you. you sigh but stop and look at him, "i'm sorry."

you scoff and start to walk again, this time his hand meets your upper arm, stopping you in place.

"y/n, seriously i'm sorry. i- i didn't know she'd do that- that she'd kiss me." heeseung keeps his voice low, afraid that sunghoon or your parents would wake up and hear your conversation.

"you don't need to be sorry, hee. it's not like we're together or anything." you forcefully smiled, trying to end the conversation before you burst out in tears in front of him. "you can fuck who you want."

"i didn't fuck her y/n."

your breath hitched at his statement, "w-well i'm sorry to hear that." you tried to turn away from him.

"y/n, would you stop acting like this?" heeseung grunted lowly, "i didn't want to fuck her anyways. i- i don't like her like that."

"acting like what? i'm being myself." you defended yourself, trying to make him believe the false facade you were putting on. you didn't want him to know just how much he had hurt you.

"no, you're not," heeseung shook his head in frustration, "i-i'm sorry y/n, it was the only way i could get your attention, you were ignoring me!"

you scoffed at his explanation, "i think i simple fucking text would've sufficed."

"a text?" heeseung laughed dryly, "what was i supposed to say to you over text? hey stop ignoring me and get away from the stupid asshole intak?"

"he is not a stupid asshole, are you kidding me? and you could've texted me at least once throughout the school year!" you pushed a hand through your hair out of frustration, "look we can't talk right now, i don't want to wake anyone up."

a beat of silence went through the air as heeseung took in your words, "well why didn't you text me?" he spoke softer, barely audible in the quiet hallway.

"because you're away in the capital city in university. you're busy and i didn't want to bother you like all the other girls you use."

heeseung's eyes softened at your statement.

"you could've fucking texted me y/n. i'd never think of you like any of the other girls i've screwed around with because you are nothing like them." heeseung took a step closer to you, "you are so much more."

you shook your head and looked down at your clammy hands.

"what is it, y/n?"

"it's just- last time i saw you you were pushing me away and saying we can't be together and- and now you're like saying the opposite."

heeseung moved closer to you now, making you look up at him in the dark, "god," he said almost out of breath, "why did you have to be related to sunghoon?"

a small smile cracked onto your face, "why did you have to be sunghoon's best friend?"

you can see heeseung smile down at you, his face slowly getting closer to yours. you see his tongue dart across his bottom lip as he scans your entire face. his hand comes up and brushes your nestled hair out of your face. it's so quiet as your faces inch closer and closer, both of you forgetting about the consequences of your being together.

it's so quiet that when the faint sound of the tv turns off you pull apart immediately in shock. rustling from downstairs getting closer to the stairs makes you both freak out and stumble away from each other in the hall.

a tired-looking sunghoon appears at the top of the stairwell. his black hair all tangled up, indicating that he had just woken up. he looks at the two of you in confusion. "hey, guys? what's going on?"

"uh, nothing. i'm just going to bed now, saying bye to y/n, you know." heeseung shrugged casually. sunghoon looked over at you, and you just nodded, unable to speak with the amount of adrenaline and fear rushing through your body.

"uh, ok, i'm going to bed up here now, that couch fucken killed my neck." sunghoon lazily chuckled, "night," he spoke and turned to go to his bedroom.

"night." heeseung and you replied to your brother, a sigh of relief coming from the both of you as his door closed after him.

you looked at heeseung, standing in front of his bedroom with an unreadable expression on his. "have a good sleep, y/n."

"yeah, you too."

heeseung and you both went into your separate bedrooms, wishing that there wasn't a wall in between you as your thoughts raced about each other.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

the next week started with heeseung and you creating some sort of tension with one another- it was awkward but full of need and lust that neither one of you could act out on.

the amount of lust that had built up between you two was no joke.

there were so many times when heeseung just wanted to wrap his arms around your waist and whisper all the dirty things he wanted to do to you in your ear.

and if it wasn't for sunghoon being around all the time you would've jumped heeseung's bones by now.

your parents were both at work, while sunghoon and heeseung had gone over to jake's house for the day. the house would finally be silent and you could be alone with your thoughts for a minute. of course, all your thoughts went straight to heeseung- and how his body would look on top of you- how he would fuck you.

you tried to put it off as much as you could, but when your hand started to trail its way down your core and slip so easily into your shorts and panties there was no way you could pull it back out.

you slowly started to rub your clit in small, slow circles. imagining that heeseung was doing it instead. it felt so good, but you knew that heeseung could make it feel even better.

you imagined heeseung whispering dirty things in your ear like the way he's been whispering all week to you when sunghoon was just around the corner. you imagine his warmth on top of you as he tries to get you to climax all over his fingers. he would tell you just how much of a good girl you were being for him.

your other hand slid up and started to massage your breast through your tight tank top. your thumb and forefinger squeezed your nipple in between them, adding pleasure to your core. your fingers started going at a faster pace, chasing after the climax that you so desired.

heeseung had left jake's house early, wanting to go to bed early tonight because he planned on spending time with his actual family tomorrow, needing him to wake up early.

he didn't think he was necessarily being quiet when he walked into your house, not even aware that you were even still home.

"heeseung." he heard your voice from down the hall, you sounded whiny and out of breath, concern retching onto his face at the thought that you were possibly hurt.

your bedroom door was open by the smallest amount, just enough for heeseung to look in and see you layed out on top of your bed. your hair was flayed out against your pillow, your eyes were closed and your mouth was slightly open in a blissed-out way.

heeseung's own mouth dropped open once he scanned down your body and saw what you were doing under your little shorts.

heeseung was having an internal conflict with himself : you're sunghoon's little fucking sister! but you're y/n and my god you're hot. he was about to turn and leave until his name left your mouth again, signaling that he wasn't hearing things beforehand.

your fingers were rubbing your little clit at the thought of him.

"fuck." heeseung let out, in awe of how cute and sexy you looked at the same time with the strap of your tank top slipping off of your shoulder.

you immediately sat up, ripping your hand out of your pants at the sound of someone outside your door. you had thought had closed it all the way!

your cheeks flushed red once you met eyes with heeseung. internal dread took over you as you grabbed a pillow from behind you and tried to cover your body more from his eyesight.

heeseung's mouth opened and closed as he tried to find some words to say.

"heeseung~!" sunghoon singsonged as he entered his house.

fear-filled both you and heeseung more as heerseung's hand scrambled out and pulled the doorknob of your bedroom closed before rushing down the stairs, fixing his jeans so sunghoon wouldn't see his (hopefully not) obvious boner.

"hey, man!" heeseung greeted his younger friend at the bottom stair, "thought you'd stay at jake's for a bit longer, no?"

"nah, i wanted to eat dinner here tonight." sunghoon replied, taking off his shoes, "is y/n home?"

"uh, i'm not sure, if she is i haven't seen her, i kinda just got here."

"ah, ok." sunghoon nodded, "do you wanna play some fifa until my parents get home?"

'"yeah for sure! i just have to get in the shower first, okay?" heeseung replied, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

"okay, but hurry! i want at least one game before they're home!"

"okay okay!" heeseung laughed, turning around and quickly running into the bathroom. he shut the door and locked it before anyone else could come in.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." heeseung mumbled to himself, looking down at his crotch. thank god sunghoon wasn't looking at him while he was downstairs.

heeseung quickly turned on the shower and got undressed. his pale body uncovering itself and releasing his boner. he cursed his past self for putting on jeans this morning. the tightness of them was suffocating and he basically ripped them off.

god, heeseung felt so guilty for masturbating in the shower. he felt like he was fourteen years old again and just starting puberty. but he felt even more guilty that he was masturbating to the thought of his best friend's little sister.

he had tried so hard to get rid of his feelings for you- because there was just o way that the two of you could work anything out between you two without ruining things with sunghoon for the both of you.

but after 10 months of not seeing you or talking to you, it had just seemed to make his feelings for you stronger. you were so much more mature now, you had finally finished growing into your body, and your voice had toned down a pitch that made him almost melt every time you spoke.

your breasts were perkier, and your clothes were tighter, god he wonders what the guys at your school must think of you now.

he'd be so quick to brag to any of them that he was the one that you thought of when you got yourself off. lee heeseung was the one that park sunghoon's little sister thought of.

though, to heeseung, you were so much more to him than sunghoon's little sister, though, in reality, he knew that you'd have to stay that way. no matter how many times he's thought about- or almost kissed you, you were off-limits. and sunghoon has made that very clear.

still, he couldn't get his mind away from your little whines and your fingers rubbing your clit. his hand got faster and faster as he got himself off in the shower- in your shower.

heeseung thought of fucking you so that you would whine his name out loud so breathlessly again. he thought about how tight your pussy must be- how he'd be the first one to fuck you properly. he wanted to get you to come undone on his cock- for you to scream out his name then as you cling onto him for dear life as your climax hit you.

"god." heeseung whined out quietly, thanking the shower for sounding out his volume. he couldn't hold it any longer, letting his release go, squirting his cum all over his hand and shower wall. his red tip pulsating as he put his forehead on the shower wall beside him.

"fuck." he let out a frustrated sigh, what has he done to himself?

it had been two weeks into your summer vacation with heeseung back to living in your house. it would be the last summer where sunghoon would be living with you for good since he was leaving with heeseung in late august.

you hadn't spoken or even seen heeseung since he caught you masturbating the other day. sunghoon and he had been out with their other friends.

that's good for you though. you didn't know how you could face heeseung after the scene of you that he had seen. you prayed that maybe he'd hit his head and forget about it, but you knew that the chances of that were very slim.

since it was summer break, your sleeping schedule was out of control. you'd stay up until the early hours of the morning and not wake up until dinner time.

your stomach growled as you lay in bed, watching a tv series that you had found online. you glanced up at the time; 3:28 am. you groaned but decided that you should get up and get a little night snack.

at this hour, your house was either blasting with music or as quiet as mouse- depending on whether or not your parents were home. tonight, it was quiet. you could see the flash of the tv on downstairs, but it was obviously muted with no sound coming out of it. you checked and saw that all bedroom doors were closed in the hall- making you wonder who was downstairs at this hour. though, they were probably passed out on the couch.

you quietly made your way down the stairs, walking past the living room and seeing an empty room, thanking the gods that heeseung wasn't there.

the cold kitchen tiles made you thankful that you had socks on as you opened the fridge door, preparing to get some leftovers from the dinner that your mother had made hours ago. you were trying so hard to be quiet, not wanting to wake up anyone upstairs.

"can i have some?" a voice said from behind you, making you jump and cover your mouth with your hand, preventing you from screaming out loud.

heeseung stood in the doorway of the kitchen, wearing a white shirt and his usual grey sweatpants that he normally slept in.

"uh. yeah sure," you replied, turning away from him to avoid eye contact. how was he able to act so normal around you?

"great." heeseung said, you could hear him behind you shuffle to sit down at the small island in your kitchen. "what're you doing awake at this hour?"

"i slept all day today, so i'm wide awake now," you spoke softly, trying not to die out of embarrassment right on the spot. you focused on putting some of your mother's food on a plate for you and heeseung.

"ah, i see." heeseung acknowledged, his fist holding his head up as he looked at you. all you could feel were his eyes on your back. you wished you could have worn something other than your shorts and a tank top. "i like your shorts." you felt the hairs on your body go up at heeseung's compliment as if he was reading your mind. these were the exact shorts you were wearing the other day when he caught you getting off to him.

you cleared your throat as you turned to him with your plates in hand, "uh, thanks." you practically whispered, too afraid to use your voice fully.

heeseung took his plate from you, "thank you for the food." he smiled up at you, his hand covering your own as you transferred the plate from one another. instantly you felt your fingers weaken as his fingers covered your own. they were so long and dainty, so much prettier than your own. "and i'm sorry about the other day, i thought you would've heard me come in."

your eyes widened at his 'apology', humiliation filled you as you turned and looked at him again, a cocky smirk was evident on his face.

"i-i," you started but you had no idea what to say, you wanted to run and hide upstairs in your bedroom for the next month and a half and never come out.

"do you always think of me when you do that?" you could hear small laughter in his tone with his question.

"heeseung." you stated, no hint of laughter in your own, only pure seriousness and humiliation. "i don't think of you, like that. ever." you lied, you can't remember the last time you didn't think about him when your fingers were playing with your pussy.

"c'mon y/n. i heard you moan my name." heeseung shook his head with a knowing look. "at first i thought i was hearing things, but with the way that you couldn't just stop staring at my fingers just now, i don't think i was just hearing things." you cursed yourself for moaning his name so idiotically loud last time you got off.

heeseung took a step towards you again, so now you're bodies were almost touching as he looked down at you. he towered over you when he stood. "plus, you're such a bad liar y/n, you only ever call me 'heeseung' when you're hiding something." suddenly you were thrown back into all the memories that you were hiding something when he spoke to you. did you really only use his full name when you were trying to keep something hidden? how did he know you so well?

"so? do you always think of me when you get yourself off, y/n?" heeseung repeated himself, a cocky smirk on his face as he watched you try to avoid eye contact. when you could only offer a meek nod and a shy smile, a big smile spread across heeseung's pretty lips. "how about i give you something to think about next time you need to cum?" you looked up at him in shock at his words, not expecting him to speak to you like this. this was something that you only ever imagined he say to you. "can i touch you y/n?" he bent his head down so he could look right into your eyes. you nodded in response. "yeah?" he wanted to confirm.

"yes. hee, please touch me." heeseung's body pushed you up against the kitchen wall behind you suddenly. his warm-core meeting your own as his scent filled your senses. you turned your head to the side and could see directly out of the kitchen doorway the stairs and part of the living room. if anyone came down they could totally see you and heeseung,.

"relax, y/n, sunghoonie passed out hours ago and you know how heavy your parents sleep, we'll be fine." heeseung whispered into your ear, sensing your worry.

"okay." you whispered out to him, relaxing into his touch. you thought he was going to kiss you when his face got close to yours, but he turned down and started to kiss down your neck. you moved your head to the side so he could have better access to finding your sweet spot. you bucked your hips into him when he found it. making him smile against your neck as he continued to kiss there. "you can't leave marks, hee." you reminded him, making him grunt out at the realization.

"you're sure i can touch you, y/n?" heeseung pulled away once more, hoping to not ruin things between the two of you and your brother.

"please, hee, i wanna feel you." heeseung smiled at your response kissing your forehead before running his hands down your sides and began playing with the hem of your shorts. your faces were close together as you both looked down at his dainty fingers slipping into your shorts. it surprised him when he realized you weren't wearing any panties.

his fingers were instantly met with your wetness, spreading your juices around and coating your fingers. if it was anyone else besides heeseung you were sure that you'd be embarrassed, but you couldn't help it now. this was something that you had thought about for years, and now it was finally happening.

heeseung slipped one finger into your core, making you close your eyes at the impact at first, ready to feel more of him. he kissed your shoulder as he slowly worked his one finger in and out of you, warming you up.

his thumb started to circle your engorged clit, making you buck your hips up at the tension. you could feel him smile against your skin at your actions. no matter what situation you were in, heeseung would always find you cute.

when heeseung adds another finger inside of you, he slowly starts to curl his fingers inside, trying to find your sensitive spot. you have to bite back your moan when he finds it, your grip tightening on his shoulder, letting him know. heeseung's pace slowly starts to speed up as he watches your face curl up in pleasure.

"god princess, you don't understand how long i've wanted to feel you like this," he whispers out to you, your shampoo filling his senses as he leans his face into your head, pressing soft kisses against you, an action that was so different compared to the speed he was going at on your core.

his confession sent butterflies to your stomach and your heart, you could only shake your head as a response to him, looking him in the eyes.

"do you not know how many guys would fucking kill to see you like this, y/n? why do you think sunghoon is so protective of you? do you know how many times he's had to deal with sleazy guys talking about what they'd do to you if they had the chance? and god it pisses me off when i have to hear it, too."

"w-why does it piss you off, hee?" you whimper out to him, the pressure on your clit growing as his actions continue. heeseung swears his cock grows harder at the way you say his nickname.

"because no guy deserves to see you like this, to feel you like this, to get you to come undone on their fingers like this. except for me right y/n? you're just for me, yeah?"

"yes, hee, o-only for you."

heeseung bends his head into your neck again, kissing everyone as a sign of appreciation for being such a good girl for him. you're always such a good girl.

he feels your hole clench around his fingers as he speeds up his actions. "are you gonna come for me y/n?" you nodded weakly as a response, your lower stomach becoming tight as you feel heeseung all around you, wishing that it wouldn't stop ever.

"come on, y/n. i wanna feel you come all over my fingers." heeseung whispers into your ear, biting gently on the tip of it.

"i'm- i, coming." you moaned out, wrapping your hand around heeseung's wrist as he speeds up even faster.

at once, your climax hits you hard, your eyes shutting close at the pleasure heeseung gave you. heeseung slowed down his pace when you were calming down, kissing your forehead gently before he pulled out, not wanting to overstimulate you.

he put his fingers in between you two so you could see. his fingers were wet and glistening from your juices. he slipped his fingers into his mouth, humming around them.

"hee." you meekly whispered out, your hand coming onto hold his wrist, embarrassed that he was tasting you so feverishly.

"what?" heeseung put his fingers away from you with a laugh, "you taste good."

"hee," you whine, a smile of your own coming onto your face through humiliation.

"you're so cute." heeseung confessed yet again, backing away from you so you could straighten out against the wall.

the kitchen fell into the same silence that filled the rest of the house. you were still basking in the fact that lee heeseung just fingered you into the kitchen. it was seriously a dream come true.

"so, i guess i'll you go eat now." heeseung said casually, looking at your untouched plate of food on the island.

"yeah, okay. i'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"yeah if you don't sleep all day again." heeseung teased you, passing you your plate of food.

"whatever." you rolled your eyes with a smile, backing out of the kitchen and heading back to your bedroom up the stairs. at the top you turned around and saw heeseung leaning onto the kitchen doorway, his arms crossed across his chest, a smirk on his face as he watched you smile back at him and disappear out of sight.

you left a feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain, but he didn't want to get rid of it.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

the morning, you woke up with tiredness still filling your body. you definitely should sleep more, but you wanted to see what heeseung and your brother were doing.

opening your bedroom door, you heard your family's chatter downstairs. you hurriedly skipped downstairs and into the kitchen where they were all sat. your eyes fell immediately onto heeseung, who definitely looked like he needed more sleep as well.

"we'll only be gone three days!" sunghoon said, patting your mom on the shoulder as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"okay, you boys better have fun and be safe ok?" your mother responded, rolling her eyes when heeseung and sunghoon high-fived each other across the table.

"what's going on?" you asked from the doorway, glancing at the spot where heeseung had fingered just mere hours before. your family and heeseung turned and looked at you.

"the boys and we are going to jay's cabin for the weekend." sunghoon teasingly smiled, "and NO you cannot come." you saw heeseung smile down at the table behind sunghoon.

"i wouldn't want to be trapped in the middle of the woods with you guys anyways." you rolled your eyes, grabbing some water from the fridge.

"yeah right, i knew you were gonna ask as soon as i finished the sentence, y/n." sunghoon nudged you teasingly.

"whatever hoonie, i hope you guys have fun." you leaned back against the counter.

"god i hope you guys stay safe, seriously." your mother desperate, your father wrapping his arm around her while winking at the boys.

you were a little upset that you wouldn't be able to see heeseung for a couple of days, after just being so intimate with him. but it's not like you guys were together! no, he just fingered you, that's all. and called you cute. and told you that he gets pissed when other guys talk about you. okay fuck, maybe you were gonna miss him a lot for the next three days.

"let's go pack, hee." sunghoon grabbed heeseung's shoulder, taking him away from the table and back upstairs. heeseung barely looked at you as he left, making your chest feel empty. of course, he probably just didn't want sunghoon to think there was anything going on between you two.

you sat down at the island in your kitchen and started scrolling through social media while your mother prepared breakfast for everyone. you almost dropped your phone in your water when you just so happened to press minjeong's snapchat story.

it was a selfie of her and her friends in their bikini tops : so excited for this weekend! see you guys soon! @ heeseung @ sunghoon @ jay @ jake.

the sinking feeling returned to your stomach as you stared at the four girls that would be going on the trip with them. you already knew what minjeong looked like very well, but in this picture, she looked extra pretty. she was the complete opposite of what you looked like, and she was heeseung's age, making her more mature than you.

heeseung would definitely be into more mature girls. they were sexy and experienced and knew what they wanted. you were younger and cute. that's what he called you. cute. the once compliment now added to the sinking feeling in your stomach. maybe that's why heeseung wasn't looking at you this morning. you were sunghoon's baby sister, so cute and easy to forget. now he gets to spend three days with sexy minjeong, who's already tried to get into heeseung's pants before. maybe she succeeded when they were away at university, who knows?

fuck. now you really didn't want heeseung to go.

you stayed put in your bedroom for the rest of the morning, even when you heard sunghoon and heeseung leaving. you watched them jump into jake's jeep when he and jay pulled up to pick them up. their bags were thrown into the truck before jumping into the backseat. when they drove away you thought for sure your stomach had gone with them it felt so low and empty.

heeseung 🤎 : i'll see you sunday :)

your phone buzzed when he texted you.

you stared at his message for a while, not sure if you should answer or not. by the time you stopped contemplating if you should reply or not, it had been hours and you decided to just leave it. it's not his fault that there are so many sexy girls that would kill to have him on top of them, but still, you wanted him to just be yours.

you avoided going onto snapchat for the first day while they were away. you couldn't deal with seeing them all have fun without. and god forbid you to see any of the girls and heeseung being a little too close.

you had to deal with heeseung bringing girls to your house, making out with them in front of you, or talking about fucking some girl from your school for years. so now, when you've finally had your chance with heeseung, you didn't know how you could ever go back to pretending that what he was saying wasn't bothering you.

sunoo came over saturday night, hoping to cheer you up a little.

"heeseung did what to you in your kitchen?" sunoo gasped loudly, making you cover his mouth in fear that your parents would hear and put two and two together about what he was talking about.

"shh god! do you always have to be so loud! you tsked at your best friend.

"i'm sorry! but i mean, this is something that we've only ever joked about for years!"

"that's what im saying!" you nodded to him, glad that it wasn't just you that was shocked.

"god, was it good?"

"really good." you raised your eyebrows, making the both of you laugh.

"so now what? are you guys finally gonna date?"

"of course not! are you kidding me?" you lay back on your bed, thinking about how that could never happen in a million years. not when heeseung is so important to sunghoon.

"why not? i'm sure sunghoon wouldn't kill his best friend?" sunoo lay down beside you on his stomach so he could face you.

"i'm sure he would." you nodded sarcastically, "heeseung is the only person that sunghoon's ever 100 percent trusted. how would he feel if that person went and started dating me?! his little sister?!" you exclaimed, your hands shaking out in the air.

"god, you need a drink." sunoo laughed.

"fuck, yeah i do."

sunoo and you drank quietly in your room until it was approaching 10pm. you were both upset, and drunk and you couldn't stop thinking about heeseung.

"i cannot believe he's with that minjeong girl right now!" you slurred, trying to apply some lip gloss in your mirror as sunoo lay on your bed.

"i heard that she slept with that yeonjun guy before he graduated." sunoo nodded, looking at you through your mirror's reflection.

"choi yeonjun?!" you gasped in shock. he was only the school's hottest it boy for years. even when you were in elementary school you heard about his beauty. "my god, this minjeong is living the dream." you continued to stare at yourself in the mirror with a frown. "i wish i was as sexy as her. guys seem to only like the sexy girls, i swear."

"you're sexy, y/n!" sunoo cheered, coming up behind you and squeezing your cheeks.

"god, sunoo." you pushed his hands off of your face, "i am definitely not sexy when you squeeze my face like that." making both of you laugh.

"i say, you get all dressed up and send a sexy pic to heeseung, i'm sure that'll make him realize just how sexy you are, he'll want to come home right away!" sunoo planted the idea in your head, allowing for you to contemplate it. if you hadn't been drinking for five hours already, you're sure that you would've been totally against the idea. but you were so intoxicated, and jealous of minjeong and missing heeseung that you agreed to the idea immediately.

sunoo and you tore through your closet for a while, trying to figure out what to wear for the picture.

"what about this?" sunoo pulled out a black-lined, mesh bralette from the back of your closet. "i think this is sexy."

"that is too sexy and i think i'll be too weird if i wear that." you gasped. you had only worn it once underneath your clothes and you felt uncomfortable all day. but maybe that was a good thing. you should get out of your cute comfortableness and into something more sexy and mature.

"what? no! heeseung will love this, y/n. when has he ever seen you in something like this?" sunoo asked, which made you think about it. all he ever really saw you in was your school uniform and your pajamas. you never really tried to go all out when you were in your own home.

"fine, give me the thing i'll go put it on." you snatched the mesh fabric out of sunoo's hand, a devilish grin on sunoo's face as he cheered you on.

-

pulling the bralette over your head and down your body seemed to be the only easy part of this 'mission'. staring at yourself in the mirror while wearing it was hard to get used to. you had never worn such a thing so carelessly before.

sunoo gasped when you walked back into your bedroom with the bralette on.

"my god y/n, you really are sexy!" he jumped up, shaking your shoulders, making you feel a little better about your appearance.

trying to take a sexy selfie was definitely the hardest thing you've had to do in your life up to this point. sunoo was trying to teach you tips on how to find a good selfie angle that would broadcast to heeseung that you are done being cute- you're sexy now.

"now, put the camera higher up!" sunoo instructed, following right after. "yeah like that! now only put one side of your face in it! - and make sure your chest is in it still!"

*click*

"well, let's see it." sunoo said, pushing so he sat beside you as you pressed the picture. both of you gasping as it appeared on the screen.

"sexy," you said in unison, high-fiving each other.

you stood up and put your sweater back on over your body, wanting to cover up as soon as possible again, "god and now i'm scared to send it to him." you told sunoo nervously.

"what? why? it's a good picture!"

"yeah, it's a good picture but it's heeseung and it's me," you explained to your pink haired friend.

"i don't understand. don't you want to do this? i thought you liked him."

"i do! but i don't know. what if he doesn't like it?"

"y/n, trust me, he'll love it. here come sit, let's press send together."

you sat close to sunoo, opening up heeseung's and your messages, his unanswered text from the day before still there.

"okay, ready?" sunoo asked you, holding your phone with you.

"ready."

"three, two, one." you both press send at the same time with your thumbs.

"ahhhh! what did we just do?" you stood up, fear coursing through you.

"i don't know! you just sent lee heeseung a sexy picture!" sunoo stood up after you, feared for you.

"why did we do that?!"

"i don't know!"

"i need a drink!" you gasped, searching around your room for the liquor bottle that sunoo had brought over.

-

heeseung wanted to go home as soon as they got to the cabin yesterday.

he didn't know what was wrong with him.

usually, this was his type of scene: a party, four hot chicks, and his three best friends. what else could he ask for? he laughed at himself as he thought this.

y/n. that's what else he could ask for.

he'd trade all the hot chicks in the world if it meant that he could have you all to himself.

heeseung remembers the first time he saw park sunghoon. it was the first day of his year 10 and he saw a short year 9 wandering lost around the hallways. heeseung remembers thinking, 'hey give that kid some height and a good fashion sense and he wouldn't be that embarrassing to hang around with.". heeseung laughs at the memory.

heeseung and sunghoon clicked almost instantly when heeseung introduced himself in the hallway. they were both driven and had goals, and they really liked to fucking party. sunghoon introduced heeseung to jay and jake later that day at lunch, and that's how their little friend group had started. the 02z and their 'grandpa'.

"i told you not to call me that, jake!" heeseung shoved jake's shoulder in the cafeteria.

"i know i know! i'm sorry, grandpa- i mean heeseung! heeseung!!" jake screeched in shock, making the jay and sunghoon laugh at jake's slip up. "i really didn't mean to call you it that time!"

"yeah, whatever." heeseung rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smile as he continued to eat his ramen for lunch.

he remembers when park sunghoon first invited him to his house. he was so honored that someone was giving him a chance to get out of his own house.

heeseung never really got along with the rest of his family. he loved them, and they loved him, but they all had the same morals and values in life that were opposite of heeseungs. it was difficult to get through a conversation with them about anything. that's why he was so happy when sunghoon invited him over- it meant that he could stay somewhere away from his family.

he remembers the first time that he saw you. you were sitting at the island in your kitchen. sunghoon was introducing him to his mother, but heeseung could barely take his eyes off of you.

he knew that sunghoon had a little sister, but he didn't know that she'd be so cute. you were sitting there eating the dinner that your mom had made you, your black hair that matched sunghoon's was thrown up in a messy ponytail and your knee was pressed against the counter from the position you sat in the chair.

heeseung remembers the way that you tried to avoid eye contact with him as you blushed when you two made eye contact. the mole on your nose bridge matched sunghoon's, but it looked so much more appealing on you than it did your brother. he remembers your quiet little 'hi' that you spoke out, making heeseung smile at the memory.

when sunghoon pulled him away from his family, he remembers wishing for an excuse to go back downstairs so that he could see you again, but no ideas really came to his head.

the next day at school, heeseung asked jay and jake about you.

"god, don't even mention her when sunghoon's around." jay shook his head, taking a bite out of his food.

"what? why?" heeseung asked curiously.

"has sunghoon not had the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with you?" jake asked him from across the table.

"no? what the hell is that?" heeseung asked, surprised when jay and jake made a knowing look at each other.

"trust me, you'll get it some day." jay poionted his fork at heeseung.

"basically, sunghoon is just really protective over y/n. he tells everyone that if they even stare at her for longer than five seconds he'll kill them. so yeah, don't even try to mess around with park y/n." jake explained to the older boy, who could only nod in response. heeseung mentally kicked you out of his brain that day, wishing to never think of you again while he was friends with sunghoon.

but it was so hard not to think about you when he saw you every day. and every day you seemed to get more and more attractive to him. the sarcasm that you used with your brother, the care that used with your friends and parents, the natural beauty that you gave off in the morning when you just woke up. it was all too much for heeseung to be able to ignore.

so heeseung waited, and waited, and waited for the day that sunghoon would have the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with him.

but the day never came.

heeseung had heard sunghoon have the conversation with practically everyone that he had ever interacted with- except for heeseung. it made heeseung nervous. so nervous.

he waiting for the day that he'd let it slip that he thinks sunghoon's little sister is the hottest fucking thing he's ever seen and would mess up his years-long friendship with his best friend- but it never happened. sunghoon had so much trust in heeseung that anything about you and heeseung together never really bothered sunghoon.

heeseung wondered if it was maybe because he was older than sunghoon. he was more mature and responsible. but that didn't explain why sunghoon had held lee jeno by the collar when he heard that jeno wanted to 'fuck park y/n from behind' since jeno was a year older than heeseung himself.

he didn't know exactly what it was with himself that sunghoon had trusted so much. sunghoon has personally seen how heeseung has treated some of the girls in the school. he has heard heeseung explain all the dirty things he wants to do to certain girls that they all find hot. but still, he's the only boy that sunghoon trusts around his 'baby' sister.

when he graduated last year and almost kissed you in the hall, he knew that he was in some dangerous territory. he wished then that sunghoon would have had the 'stay away from my sister or i'll rip your balls off personally' convo with him because there was nothing stopping him from taking you right then and there. it pained him to come to his senses and pull away from you. how could he be such a terrible friend to his best friend?

heeseung thought that his feelings would go away over his first year at university. there were so many new, hot girls around! new hot girls that he wouldn't have time to think about you he'd be so busy with them. but that only worked for the first month.

no girls could compare to you, not even the ones he knew had some good pussy; like minjeong. he had heard so many stories about kim minjeong (choi yeonjun even fucked her!) but he couldn't bear to hook up with her when all he could see was your face and hear your laughter.

when he returned home three weeks ago, he didn't expect you to have matured too much. sure you were still cute but he couldn't even look at you without thinking of all the nasty things he would do to you. 'thank god sunghoon can't read minds' he remembers thinking when he stepped into the door and saw you standing there on the steps.

ever since he's been back he's had a hard time holding himself back from you. before all he had to do was think of his friendship with your brother, but now, he felt like that meant almost nothing to him if it meant that he could be with you.

heeseung felt guilty after fingering you in your kitchen. the home where a family welcomes him with big arms when his own family doesn't. under the same roof where his best friend lies asleep, trusting him with his life. just for what? for him to use you like all the other girls he's used before? it's not like you could ever be together. it was a one-time thing and that's it and now he's probably hurt you since you didn't even answer his text yesterday.

his mind was just full of park y/n that it was pooling out the sides of his ears.

his phone vibrating shook him out of his thoughts of you for a millisecond, before bringing him right back in.

park y/n &lt;3 : Slide to view image.

heeseung instantly opened his phone to see what you had sent him. thinking that it was probably some stupid meme, or had some sort of inside joke that would be between the two of you.

god was he wrong.

he abruptly put his phone to his chest, in fear that any of the seven other people (including your brother!!!!!) would see. they all seemed to be in their own worlds as he sat in front of the small campfire they had built. sunghoon had one of minjeong's friends on his lap, so he totally wasn't interested in anything that anyone else was doing.

heeseung put his phone's brightness on low as he pressed the picture you had sent him. never in his life did he think you'd send him such a picture or wear such a revealing top.

the more he looked at your picture, the more he could feel his cock grow hard in his pants. your tits were basically on full display for him as the black mesh bralette you were wearing hid almost nothing. the way you were biting your red-tinted lip drove him crazy. your pretty hair swiveled down your exposed shoulder- the shoulder where he had kissed you so soft before that it had made you whine out so needily for him.

"fuck." heeseung mumbled out, trying to hide his boner.

"what's wrong heeseungie, are you okay?" minjeong suddenly appeared beside him, making him lock his phone immediately.

"what? yeah! i'm fine!" heeseung said with a forced cheery voice.

"hm," minjeong pouted, sitting on the chair's handle beside him, "you haven't been yourself since we've gotten here, are you sure you're okay?"

yeah! i'm fine! i have a boner bc of sunghoon's little sister and SUNGHOON IS SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE! heeseung mentally screamed at the clueless girl beside him.

"yeah, i'm good." heeseung nodded, pulling his sweater done more to cover his bulge.

"how about you come up to my room with me? maybe i could make you feel great!" minjeong winked at him.

and if heeseung was his past self. the self that didn't know what your pussy tasted like, that didn't know you liked to be called princess when you're getting off, that didn't know just how much you liked him back- then sure, he'd follow kim minjeong up to her temporary room and fuck her. he'd fuck her so that he'd forget about not being able to ever be with his best friend's sister. but he was just not that heeseung anymore.

uh, i don'-" heeseung was about to decline when someone from across their small little outdoor kickback had answered practically for him.

"yeah, heeseung, why don't you go have fun upstairs? you really haven't been yourself." sunghoon spoke to him, the girl on his lips smiling at minjeong with a knowing look that made heeseung want to scream.

but of course, sunghoon could see that heeseung hadn't been himself this weekend. sunghoon could see that heeseung was anything other than practically in love with his little sister.

"come on heeseungie~!" minjeong whined out, grabbing a hold of his hand.

"okay." heeseung had to force out, smiling at the girl. he remembers thinking about how pretty minjeong was last year. he remembers how all the guys in the school used to drool over her. he'd kill to get inside minjeong just based on how pretty she was. but now, as he's looking up at her from his seat, and the campfire is lighting up her small face, he can't help but think about how average-looking she is. she is no longer the girl that belonged in magazines, or the girl that looks like she could be a princess- she's just okay.

and heeseung thinks that every girl from now will just be 'okay' looking since he's seen how beautiful you are.

minjeong drags him up to her room in the cabin, a small but cozy room and pushes him onto her bed. fuck, i still have a boner and it's NOT from this girl fuck, is all that heeseung can think.

"look, minjeong-" heeseung starts, but is interrupted by her sitting on his lap. her lips start kissing up to his neck, glad to finally have lee heeseung underneath her.

"minjeong." heeseung states, his hands resting on her skin so she can't move closer.

"hm?" she whimpers out to him, too entranced with trying to make him feel good.

"i can't do this... with you." heeseung finishes, and the once pretty girl pulls away from him and looks at him with confusion.

"well what do you mean, heeseungie?" she asks, her nickname for him rolls off her tongue so easily and he hates it. heeseung gently pushes her off of him so that she sits beside him on the bed. "what are you doing?"

"we can't have sex, minjeong."

minjeong scoffs at heeseung, "are you being serious?" she asks, her once the cute tone of her voice drops drastically. "we've been screwing around for how long now? and you're just telling me now that you're uninterested?"

"yeah, pretty much. and i'm sorry."

"oh shut the fuck up." minjeong stands up now, fixing her shirt so it's back in place. her outburst takes heeseung aback as he looks up at her. "i've wanted you since we were in year 10, lee heeseung. and now that i've almost finally got you, i just can't? what is it? seriously? why can't you just want me back?"

heeseung stares at minjeong with an unreadable expression. he has no idea how to respond to such a confession from a girl who's never thought anything about it besides that maybe at one time she was hot.

"hm?" minjeong urges him when he doesn't answer.

"i just... don't like you, like that- i'm sorry! i am! but-"

"you're so pathetic, heeseung. and i mean it. you go around fucking every other girl around here, so many girls that you can't even remember if you've fucked them already or not, and you just can't settle down for one girl? why can't you just be with me? are you really that much of a douchebag?"

heeseung starts to smile at how wrong her statement is about him.

"you think it's funny do you? that you can break so many girls' hearts?" minjeong scoffs at him, crossing her arms across her chest.

"no, that's not the funny part." heeseung shakes his head and looks straight into minjeong's eyes, "the funny part is that i can settle down for one girl. i already have the girl that i can settle down with- but we can't be together. and that's why we can't have sex minjeong, because i love her and it's too painful now to be with anyone but her."

minjeong's eyes soften at his explanation, her arms becoming loose and hanging at her sides as she stares at heeseung. she feels tears well up in her eyes as she realizes that the boy she truly wants has fallen in love with someone else right in front of her.

"well, whoever the girl is, she's one lucky son of a bitch." minjeong states and then takes a deep breath, backing up and opening her bedroom door for heeseung to leave, now counting down the seconds for when she can leave this cabin tomorrow.

-

"fuck sunoo, he read it and hasn't responded." you groan, sitting down on the edge of your bed, your heart beating out of your chest at the word read, "i really fucked it up didn't i?"

"no! you didn't! he's probably just masturbating to it because he couldn't handle your sexiness." sunoo reassured you, coming to rest his head on your stressed shoulder.

"or sunghoon saw it and he's not shoving heeseung's dead body into the lake."

"right, or that." sunoo pointed out sarcastically, making you smile a little bit. "he's probably just drunk and fell asleep. they're coming back tomorrow so you can talk about it then, right?"

"yeah, i guess." you shrugged, laying down in frustration, "ugh, what have i done?"

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

you dreaded the sound of your brother's voice echoing through the house on the late sunday afternoon, the day after you sent lee heeseung a 'sexy selfie'.

"we're home~!" sunghoon called out, cheers from your parents downstairs were heard then. you made your way out of your bedroom and down the stairs to greet your brother and his best friend. your heart was pounding as you saw heeseung's dark green hair in the front hall.

"how was it you guys?" your mother asked, hugging them as they came through the door, your dad was helping move their bags to the side.

"it was fun! jay got so sunburnt he can hardly move!" sunghoon laughed out loud, making heeseung smile.

"oh no," your mother frowned, obviously not finding it as funny as they did. "you guys must be hungry! dinner is ready now so come and eat, you can put away your stuff later! you come down now too, y/n!" your mother pointed you out in your 'hiding' spot in the middle of the staircase. sunghoon and heeseung turned at the mention of your name. sunghoon is backing up to the staircase with his knees bent for you to get on his back.

you climbed on and pulled his hair as a joke, "hey! watch it!" sunghoon grunted out at you, a teasing smile on his face. "one of us has got to have some good hair and it's obviously not gonna be you so you have to protect this one."

"shut up! oh my god!" you laughed out, holding onto his shoulders as he carried you through the house to the table. you rested your cheek on his back and glanced at heeseung, who held a soft smile on his face as he watched you and your brother interact somewhat lovingly.

"so, what did you do at the cabin?" your father asked once you were all sat down in your usual spots.

"eh, just swam and hung around, listened to some music, the usual stuff i guess but in a different location." sunghoon shrugged, winking at heeseung. the wink sent a heavy feeling into your stomach again- a feeling that you're starting to get used to at this point since it happens so much. "i am really tired though." sunghoon suddenly yawned into his plate.

"well that's because it was the first fresh air you've gotten in the past five years- all you do is play video games inside." you teased your brother. "ow!" you yelped, feeling the harsh jab of his foot in your calf.

"Seriously, you guys? will you ever get along properly?" your mother asked, exhaustion showed on her face, "how do you deal with it, heeseung?"

heeseung smiled awkwardly now that all the attention was on him, "i have no idea." he deadpanned, making you all laugh around the table.

-

since sunghoon was so tired from this weekend, he went to bed early, along with your parents who had to prepare for a week full of work starting tomorrow.

so basically your house was silent by 10pm as you lay awake in your bed once again.

heeseung 🤎 : are you awake?

you got flashbacks from when he had texted you this before years ago, you wondered if he was having the same memory as he sent it.

you : yes

heeseung 🤎 : can i come to ur room?

you : my door's open

you sat up in your bed waiting for him, unlike the last time he asked to come into your room late at night, it only took him a minute for him to quietly slip into your bedroom.

"hi," he spoke out softly to you as he stood beside your bed, he seemed to be shy as he stood in front of you now.

"do you wanna lay down?" you asked him, figuring that he was just as tired as sunghoon was from being away all weekend.

"if you don't mind." heeseung agreed to it, you removed the corner of your blanket so he could lay down underneath it as an answer.

so now you and lee heeseung were laying together in your bed. both of your hearts were racing as you thought about what to say.

"i uh," heeseung spoke finally, "i liked the picture you sent."

"you did?"

heeseung turned his head to look at you, you were just as pretty in the moonlight as he remembered, "of course i did." his answer made you smile so big, that you felt like you had to hide it. "why wouldn't i have liked it?"

"i don't know," you shrugged, embarrassed at the real reason. heeseung turned so that he was on his side now, his head on your pillow, smelling your shampoo.

"you must know, so just tell me." he urged you gently.

"i'm not- i'm not very sexy, so i wanted to be sexy for you," you confessed with a blush on your pale cheeks.

"y/n," heeseung called you after a minute of silence, his fingers wrapping around your chin so you could look at him, "i think you're sexy all the time. no matter what you do. you don't have to try to be sexy for me when you already are."

"you think i'm sexy?"

"mhm," heeseung nodded against your sheets, you wondered if when he left would his own shampoo be mixed in with yours now, "i think you're cute too, a beautiful, funny, sarcastic, smart, caring. i mean the list could go on about how many great things i find you."

your heart immediately swelled at heeseung's words, this is all that you ever wanted to hear from him and now it's happening. instead of answering, you pushed your lips against his. so you were finally kissing.

instantly, as if it was a habit that's been built up over years, heeseung tangles his fingers into your hair, pulling you closer to him to deepen the kiss. it was a sloppy but meaningful kiss, filled with words that neither of you could speak out loud to each other.

heeseung pulled away when both of you were out of breath, "Fuck, y/n." he stared at you with such adoration on his face. you brushed against his grey sweatpants as you tried to pull the blanket over him more, feeling the soft stir of his dick twitch at your movement.

"are you?-" you didn't know how to exactly say what you were thinking but heeseung got it and nodded, a shy smile on his face.

"i'm sorry, i told you that you were sexy."

you grabbed his face in your hands and pressed his lips to yours again in a more feverish way. a way that both of you have been thinking about since you first saw each other.

"i want you heeseung." you whispered to him - to only him.

"yeah?" heeseung asked, pulling your lips onto his again.

"yeah, i want you to be my first." heeseung pulled away far from you then in shock.

"you're first?" heeseung repeated, "you mean, last time- that was the first time you've ever been, you know, finger-?"

"no! that wasn't the first, i mean it was the first time i guy's made me cum, but i now i mean, first as in, sex. full-on sex," you mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"oh my god okay, you scared me for a second, jesus." heeseung put a hand over his heart to calm it down. "being fingered really sloppily in a kitchen does not sound like a good first fingering my god."

"yeah, well at least you made me cum." you smiled at him, kissing his cute lips once again.

"i don't want to hurt you though, princess." heeseung pulled away, ;"it always hurts the first time, no?"

"i know you'll be gentle, hee, i trust you." his heart thumped at his chest at your words- now both park siblings trusted him too much,.

"okay, okay." heeseung nodded, kissing you deeply again. you felt his hands sneak over your body going underneath your tank top and pulling it up over your head. even in the dark moonlight, he could see how pretty your breasts were.

"shit, even prettier than how i imagined." heeseung spoke out, his hands coming up to squeeze your hardened nipples, making you whine out.

"sensitive still," you spoke softly, no one's touched like this before, especially no one that you've wanted this long to before.

heeseung felt his cock twitch in his sweatpants again at your words. you were going to kill him. you were going to fucking kill him with how hot you are.

"fuck." heeseung shook his head, wrapping his hands around your waist now and moving so that you sat on top of him, right on his bulge that was aching for you.

"i want your top off, too." you whined, your hands roaming over his chest, tugging his shirt off of his head, making him laugh at how cute you're being. you flung his shirt onto the floor once it was over his head. his tan skin still glowing in the moonlight. you had seen heeseung shirtless countless times around your house, in pictures, or in your pool, but never in a situation like this. he was always pretty, but he was beautiful while laying underneath you. all his pretty freckles and scars, free for your eyes only in a time like this.

"beautiful," you spoke your mind, bending down and kissing down his chest until you were above his sweatpant waistband.

"y/n," heeseung moaned out once your hand brushed over his cock.

"i wanna suck you off, hee." heeseung eyes rolled to the back of his head at your words. he's been sucked off so many times before, but he knows that none of them will ever live up to how you will do it.

"next time, princess, okay? i just wanna focus on you now."

you pouted, but let him slip off those fucking shorts he loves seeing you in so much. your bare core open for him to see. "so cute." he admired as his soft hands grazed around your bare body for him to see. his cock was dripping at the thought that he's the only one and will always be the only one to see you like this.

your hands slipped underneath heeseung's sweatpants, your hands encircling his hard cock and pulling it out for you to see. your thighs twitched as it came into eye contact, your pussy leaking onto his sweatpants at how pretty it looked. it matched the rest of him perfectly. Its red tip look painful for how hard it was, and precum was flowing out everywhere for how turned on he was.

your hands jerked him off gently, spreading his precum around so it would fit in your tiny hole. you stood up on your knees, ready for him to finally enter you when he grabbed your wrist.

"wait!" heeseung whispered and shouted at you, "Are you wet enough?" he asked, suddenly his hand slipped between your legs, making you almost cry out from the sudden pleasure. his fingers easily slipped inside of your hole, finding your sensitive spot effortlessly now. when he figured that you were ready for him, he lets you carry on, holding onto his dick and ready to enter you.

slowly but surely you pushed his cock inside of you, his hands ran up and down your sides, encouraging you that you were doing well. you tried to keep your walls unclenched as he eased more inside of you. when you couldn't take any more of him, you put your hands on his chest and sat still for a moment, trying to calm all your nerves and the pain that shot through your core.

heeseung had to physically hold himself back from bucking up into you or moving at all. he was pushing his hips away from you, toward the bed so he wouldn't make you hurt further.

"you're doing so well, princess, feel so good around me already." heeseung moaned out to you, his finger slipping towards your clit and circling it, making you have to bite down on his shoulder to keep you quiet.

"fuck, hee, i really don't know if i can be quiet with you inside of me." you admitted, the feeling of his cock so much.

"i know baby, me neither, but we're gonna have to be unless you want your family to find us." heeseung replied, his fingers still playing with your clit as he waited for you to move. at his words he felt you clench around his cock tightly, making him bite his lip from pleasure, "do you like the thought of people walking in on us? at least then people would know how much we care about each other, yeah?"

you nodded as you started to your hips up and down on his cock, it was already hitting all the perfect spots inside of you.

"god, hee i might cum." you moaned out quietly into his ear.

"already?" heeseung mocked but was also pretty shocked. his fingers sped up around your clit, wanted to feel how tight your walls would clench around him when you came.

your orgasm hit you hard as you continued to move your hips on his cock, rocking your clit into his fingers. your mouth formed a quiet 'O' as your orgasm hit its peak before fading away. "so pretty, my princess." heeseung kissed your forehead, "so pretty when you come undone on my cock."

"you just feel so good." you groaned, grinding your clit down on his pelvis now, feeling his cock twitch inside of you as he watched you get yourself off on him.

heeseung was still holding back from coming as he watched you work yourself up again, using him as a toy. you were seriously the hottest thing he's ever seen and the only thing that was preventing him from coming right then and there was the idea of getting you to come again before him.

your pussy was so wet that if anyone walked past your door they could hear it squelch from the impact of you bouncing up and down on heeseung's cock.

"fuck hee!" you moaned out, leaning down to bite on his shoulder to keep yourself quiet. another orgasm came from you as heeseung played with your clit once again, sending you over the edge.

"shit y/n, you feel so tight around me. i can fucking feel you come on me." heeseung groaned, his eyes rolling back to his head again as he held himself back from coming inside of you. you stopped your movements as your second orgasm subsided, needing a breather for coming so hard twice so quick.

"are you good, princess?" heeseung whispered to you, kissing your head as you calmed down.

"yeah, so good." you slurred back to him, feeling drunk off the pleasure that his cock was giving you, you've never felt so good in your entire life.

"can you come again for me? just once more, i'm so close." heeseung asked you, his hips grinding in slow circles underneath you.

"y-yeah, only if you fuck me now."

"i got you, princess." heeseung nodded, before gently flipping you over so that he was on top of you, his cock not slipping out of you once.

the two of you were silent as heeseung slowly pounded into you, taking his time with you as if this would be the first and last time he's gotten you like this.

he;'s taken his time to remember how you feel, how you look, and how you sound when you're so fucked out for him. it's surely only what dreams are made out of.

heeseung gives you a few more hard thrusts until his cum was filling you up, a moan of your own escaping at the feeling, a smaller orgasm taking over your body as you both still against each other, taking in the moment of pleasure between you two.

you feel heeseung's cum gush out of you as he pulls his limp dick out of you now, careful not to touch your sensitive clit.

"mm, heeseung." you called his full name, catching his full attention now, "i wanna taste you this time."

"you're gonna get me hard again, fuck." heeseung shook his head at you, gently pushing his fingers between your slit, making your hips buck up at the sensation. his cum was on his two fingers as he brought them to your mouth.

you happily sucked them into your mouth, tasting his sweet cum as if it was the last thing you'd ever taste. "y/n." he moaned out as he watched you slurp every drop from his fingers. "i really am gonna need a blowjob from you." he admitted, feeling his cock twitch at the sight of you.

"next time." you smiled up at him, an innocent smile during something that is the complete opposite.

to say that you and heeseung felt guilty for hiding your relationship from sunghoon and your parents was an understatement- you were both practically ripping your hair out from the stress and anxiety of them finding out and sunghoon killing his best friend and your boyfriend.

you : what the fuck am i gonna do sunoo? i can't keep hiding it for much longer, they leave next week for uni.

sunoo ❤️ : you're gonna have to tell your brother, y/n! heeseung's his best friend! he trusts him! im sure he won't be that mad!! maybe, hopefully, haha

you : fuck, we're gonna have too. ugh!! im fucking scared.

sunoo❤️: you can do it!!!! i love you!!!!

"hey sunoo, get off you're phone and come play a game with us!" riki called out to his older friend, who distracted him from texting you about your problem.

"give me a second!" sunoo called back to him.

"who're you texting, sunoo?" jungwon teased him, his eyebrows raising up and down.

"as if you'd like to know." sunoo rolled his eyes at his younger friend who always seemed to be in everyone's business except for his own.

"sunoo! come on~!" riki whined, wanting so badly for someone to play ping pong with him.

"fine, i'm coming," sunoo huffed, standing up and tossing his phone on the couch. sunoo had thought that he was turned off his phone, but was too distracted by riki to really pay attention.

as jungwon still sat on the couch, he couldn't help but glance over at sunoo's opened messages, his eyes going wide by reading the latest ones with you.

"holy shit." jungwon whispered, throwing sunoo's phone back onto the couch before he came back.

as the final weekend of sunghoon living with you before he went to university came, it was almost tradition that he throws a party in honor of going away. your town's infamous party boy and his friends would be leaving to party somewhere else. what would your town do without them?

almost everyone in sunghoon's grade and your own was filling in your house. it was the biggest party that they've ever thrown in all four years of high school. even the '01 liners that graduated last year had come to see heeseung and send sunghoon off for university.

unlike last year's going away party, you were actually allowed to come to this once thanks to sunghoon's less strict protectiveness of you.

of course, heeseung and you couldn't be seen beside each other, but you were both planning on telling sunghoon the big news tomorrow. you both weren't sure of how he would react. hopefully, he'd be happy though since he and heeseung have already put a down payment on the apartment that they're going to be sharing for the year.

as midnight approached, a loud clinking sound captured everyone's attention and the loud music turned off.

"excuse me everyone!" a loud voice boomed, getting everyone to be quiet. there stood hwang intak on your coffee table in the living room. you haven't heard from intak since the beginning of the summer, you figured that he was just busy or that he found a new friendgroup to hang around with. he was holding a fork up to a beer bottle, "as i'm sure everyone is so sad to see the '02's leave this year, i have some happy news that i'm sure. everyone would love to hear!" intak started, everyone in your house nodded and made sounds of agreement, "i'm sure the one and only park sunghoon will love to hear this one especially,"

you stopped smiling at the mention of your brother's name, glancing at him and then heeseung from across the room. heeseung was looking uncertain as well.

"it has been brought to my attention, that park y/n is fucking her brother's best friend!" intak smiled, a gasp going through the room and your blood ran cold as you made eye contact with your very furious brother from across the room. "isn't that right, heeseung?" everyone in the room turned and looked at heeseung who was standing right beside sunghoon like he normally does. heeseung immediately put his hands up in defense as your brother pushed his chest against his, a betrayed look on his face. you couldn't hear what exactly was being said from all the whispering going around you, but it ended up with sunghoon pushing heeseung onto the chair behind him and then pushing everyone else out of the way to storm up to his room.

"okay! i think that's about it for tonight. everyone has a good school year and get the fuck out!" jay stood up on your coffee table now, pushing intak out of the way.

a pleased-looking intak came up to you right after.

"intak, why would you do that?" you asked him, tears welling up in your eyes from humiliation and fear of what's going to happen to you and heeseung and your brother.

"you know i've liked you since the day i met you park y/n. and what do you do? you turn me down, treat me like just a friend in front of everyone and then go and use me at some party- never to speak to me again?" intak explained to you, you shook your head no, trying to find some words to speak, "no! don't y/n. i thought it was weird when you were suddenly all up on me at the first party of the summer, and i knew you were acting weird all night! i saw you looking at heeseung too! i just never put two and two together until jungwon told me that you've been fucking him behind everyone's back!"

"intak! it's not like that! i'm sorry! what i did was wrong and i'm truly sorry! but you didn't have to go and do that! you just ruined my own relationship with my brother!" you cried out to him, your hands shaking at your sides.

"yeah? well maybe you should've thought about that before you went whoring around with your brother's best friend." intak spat in your face.

"would you shut the fuck up?" a voice came from behind him, making both of you jump. there stood an even more angry sunghoon as he listened to what intak had to say about you. "you are some little fucking pathetic rat. you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about do you? you just say whatever comes to mind and don't care about the coincidences, don't you?" sunghoon pushed intak up against the wall beside you.

"sunghoon!" you tried to reach out to him, only to have your hand pulled away from behind you, jake was holding you back. "no jake! let go of me." you struggled.

"bro, what? i'm trying to do you a favor? your best friend is the rat! he went behind your back and fucked your sister!" intak managed to get out through fear.

sunghoon faked a laugh, "if you talk about my sister fucking someone one more time, i'm going to rip your balls off personally." sunghoon threatened the younger boy.

"there it is." jay pointed out from beside you.

"yep." jake quickly agreed, glancing at him briefly before returning back to sunghoon and itak.

"bro i'm sorry." intak started but was cut off.

"don't call me bro, okay bro?" sunghoon mocked intak, pulling the collar of his shirt up as he stared right into his eyes, "if you talk about my sister, or any of my friends again, i will make sure to come back to town and hurt you, really bad. got it?"

"yes, i got it. i'm sorry." intak shook his head quickly, wanting to get away from your brother as soon as he could. sunghoon backed away from the wall, letting intak run out of your house, slamming the door after him. jake let you go once it seemed like sunghoon wasn't in fighting mode anymore.

"sunghoon." you cried out softly.

"don't y/n." he replied, sitting down on the living chair with his head in his hands.

"sunghoonie, i'm sorry." heeseung stated, still standing on the other side of the living room from you all.

you heard sunghoon sigh as he listened to his best friend, "i mean like, for how long has it been happening?" sunghoon looked up at you two, his head turning from the left to the right.

"not long." heeseung said quickly.

"we were planning on telling you, we swear!" you added on, "we were waiting for a good time!"

"did you guys know?" sunghoon glanced at jake and jay behind you.

"nope!" jake said quickly.

"no idea, man!" jay agreed.

"sunghoonie," heeseung took a step closer to his best friend, "they had no idea, it was just me and y/n." sunghoon nodded, sitting back in the chair, trying to take it all in. "i love her, hoon. i mean it." sunghoon looked up at his best friend in shock. jay and jake gasped from behind you. jake nudged you, a look of shock on his face, making you shrug in response.

"do you love him?" sunghoon asked you suddenly.

"yes, a lot." you smiled at heeseung softly, love only fills your mind when you think of him.

sunghoon scoffs, "i mean, how blind am i? my own best friend and my sister fall in love and i don't even notice?"

"we're sorry sunghoon, we didn't want to make you upset. but i've loved her for a long time now, i've just always tried to push the feeling away because i care so much about you, you're my best friend sunghoon, i don't want to lose you. i can't stand to lose you and her." heeseung confessed, holding onto sunghoon's shoulder now.

sunghoon sighed before glancing up at you, "and you're happy?"

"so happy, hoon." you nodded, your hands coming together to show how happy you are.

"Okay." sunghoon nodded.

"okay?" you all said in unison out of confusion.

"yes okay, it's something i can get used to if you're both happy. and it's not something i can stop if you both love each other, right?" sunghoon said, a small smile on his face when he spoke now.

"oh my god! thank you sunghoon! thank you!" you cried out, jumping up and down before running to heeseung who hugged you so tight. squeals left your mouth as the dreading feeling in your stomach finally surpassed after weeks of it being there. heeseung pulled you into a kiss, showing how happy he was as well.

"okay!" sunghoon yelled, "it's gonna take some time to get used to that." sunghoon said, looking away from you guys, "but i'm sure i'll be okay."

"i love you sunghoon, so much! really!" you pulled away from heeseung and pulled your brother up from his chair, pulling him into his own hug.

"i love you too, y./n, you're always gonna be my little sister, right?" he teased, pushing your hair around.

"of course!" you smiled and pulled away from him.

"you're always gonna be my best friend, right?" heeseung spoke from behind you, a soft smile of hopefulness on his face.

"c'mon man, of course, i will be!" sunghoon smiled, opening his arms for heeseung to hug him as well.

"awww!" jay and jake gushed from behind you all, rushing and hugging their friends into one big group hug.

when they all pulled apart, it felt like everything was right between everyone. every friendship and relationship in the room seemed healed over with love.

"bro, i can't believe you're dating park sunghoon's little sister." jake said to heeseung, shock still settling in.

"shut it, jake!" you all said in unison again, laughing before hugging everyone again.

"you guys are so mean!" jake cried out, still hugging you guys tightly as if it would be the last time.

heeseung winked at you from over sunghoon's shoulder, making you smile up at him, unafraid of what everyone would think now knowing that you and heeseung are in love.

"what do you think your parents are gonna say?" heeseung asked you all.

"god heeseung, you know that they love you." sunghoon rolled his eyes at his best friend, making you and heeseung smile at each other, knowing that finally you could be together after all.

it's truly all that you ever wanted, and now you have it.

you couldn't be happier with your older brother's best friend.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

@ taeghi, 2022. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)

stay safe everyone :)

[hwanchaesong]

now that i'm here i shall re-read this again

[taeghi]

silver spoons | (m)

🦢 summary : in the shadows of old money elites, you've always felt like an outsider amidst the glimmer of silver spoons and whispered secrets. raised by hardworking parents on society's fringes, opulence seemed a distant dream until a scholarship to Sterling Academy opens the your dream's doors. there, amidst the marble halls and manicured lawns, you encounter jake, the enigmatic heir of one of the oldest and wealthiest families who lets you in in all the high society secrets. just be careful to not indulge in their world too much; since once you are an outsider, you are always an outsider.

🦢 genre : old money, angst, smut ;D

🦢 pairing : scholarship girl x old money!jake

🦢 word count : 29,400

🦢taglist : @criminalyun @hzorpheu @jjklvr9 @yeorns @lhspeachie @hizhu @iikeustar @eloelooo  @kookify @meujaeyun @minniejenseo @ak-aaa-li @cha0thicpisces @aileeeeeeeeeeeee @jaeyunluvr  @syl-vb @hallaween23 @strxwbloody  @nikitaxlee  @lhsthinkr @flowerlvrs-blog @willysblog @enhabooks  @heeverseblog @skzenhalove  @hotsforikeu @sweetlikesugarvenom-fm @tiziamattaga @angelhyj  @sunwoniie @hoonmyluv @m3chigo @yunhoswrldddd @kirinaa08 @yongbokified @woniebae @seonghwaexile @missychief1404  @jaklvbub @jaehoonii @koralira-kira  @aespie @fakeuwus @jjongsha @suzyhhj @m3chigo @kgneptun @shiningnono @itgirlalisaa @notevenheretbh1 @astralis-is-typing 

mdNi

you grew up in the small town nestled right next to Sterling Academy. If you looked out your bedroom window, you could see it amongst the rolling hills in the distance. each fall, as the crimson hues of autumn paint the landscape, the streets come alive with the arrival of students. you’ve seen their parents’ sleek cars glide effortlessly down the winding roads, their polished exteriors reflecting the golden light of the meadows that surrounds the building. limousines and fancy cars, symbols of privilege and prestige, carrying people whose lives seem worlds apart from your own.

your parents were extremely hardworking in your small town. your father was a miner in the mines that were only a few towns over. your mother was a skilled artisan who made all the handmade goods for the people of your town.

you’ve always felt  like an outsider from the world of opulence and excess that was just next door to you. while others reveled in the grandeur of the academy and luxurious lifestyles, you remained on the sidelines, a silent observer of a world that seemed to tantalizing out of reach. 

you knew that even though there was a small flicker of hope, a glimmer of possibility, that you would be able to live a life similar to the students of Sterling Academy, you would never be one of them. though you dreamed of walking the hallowed halls of the academy, of rubbing shoulders with the rich and powerful, of finally belonging to a world that had always seemed just beyond your grasp. 

but for now, you remain on the outskirts of Sterling Academy. a silent observer that watches as the seasons and students come and go. as your town remains the same everyday with the same people. you let yourself cling to the hope that one day you’ll be able to be like students who go to the prestigious academy.

during summer, you always found yourself in the garden. surrounded by the rustle of leaves and the sweet flower scent. your hands were always stained with earth and your eyes were determined to finish the garden work you had set up for yourself.

“y/n,” your mother’s voice called out from behind you, soft but still manages to surprise you. 

“oh my god, mom you scared me.” you smiled up at her, your hand on your chest. you could instantly tell that your mom was overly excited about something. your dad stood beside her, matching her twisted grin. “what?” 

“we have some good news,” your dad grinned, his voice buoyant with joy as he pulled something from behind his back. your heart skipped a beat with anticipation.

“you got accepted into Sterling Academy!” your mother blurted out, her words tumbling forth like a rush of wind. 

“what?” you exclaimed, immediately standing up from your position on the ground. you didn’t bother to rub off the dirt on your hands as you grabbed the paper from your dads hands. 

sure enough, written on the paper were the words: 

Dear Y/n Y/l/n, 

It is with great pleasure that we extend our congratulations to you on your acceptance to Sterling Academy this fall through our prestigious scholarship program. We are thrilled to offer you this opportunity to join our esteemed community of scholars. Please see attached for further details inquiring about your tuition coverage, academic requirements and any additional resources available. 

Warm regards, 

Admissions Committee

Sterling Academy

“but, i don’t understand,” you shook your head at your parents, “i didn’t apply to their scholarship program.” 

“we know,” your mother nodded, “we did for you.”

“what? why?” 

“because we know how much you’ve always wanted to go there, y/n!” your dad spoke and you could hardly believe what you were hearing. 

it’s as if time stands still, your small town around you fading into a blur as you grapple with the news. and then, with a surge or emotion that threatens to overwhelm you, you leaped into your parents’ arms. wrapping their bodies close to your own. 

“thank you, thank you, thank you,” you kept repeating to them as they laughed and hugged you back. 

there were so many emotions crashing over you at once, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. you don’t feel the tears starting to well up in your eyes, spilling over down your cheeks until your mother asks you why you are crying. but it’s a silent testament to the depth of your gratitude and disbelief.

you were so excited that you hardly sleep the night before you started school at Sterling Academy. despite the heavy weight of exhaustion pressing down upon your eyelids, sleep eludes you, slipping through your grasp like the seeds of petunias you had planted earlier this year. restless thoughts swirl through your mind, a tempest of anticipation and nerves that refuse to be quieted. you toss and turn in bed, seeking refuge from the ceaseless torrent of doubts and fears that threaten to engulf you. 

with trembling hands, you check and recheck your bags, ensuring that you haven’t forgotten anything essential for your first day at Sterling Academy. 

but no matter how many times you run through the checklist in your mind, a nagging sense of doubt lingers, a whisper of insecurity that refuses to be silenced. it's as if the weight of tomorrow's expectations hangs heavy in the air, casting a pall over your thoughts and clouding your vision of what lies ahead. 

the memory of how you finally drifted into sleep the night before eludes you, lost amidst the whirlwind of anticipation and nerves that swept through your mind. but now, as you stand outside Sterling Academy, the morning sun casting a warm glow over the imposing facade of the building, you find yourself filled with a sense of anxiousness and determination.

your parents stand by your side, their presence a reassuring anchor amidst the sea of unfamiliar faces that surrounds you. as you approach the entrance to Sterling Academy, a rush of excitement courses through your veins. the grandeur of the building looms before you like a fortress, its towering spires reaching skyward as if to touch the heavens.

the ivy-clad walls, weathered by time, stand tall against the blue sky, casting shade over the lush greenery that surrounds the building. a row of neatly trimmed bushes lines the path leading to the entrance, their emerald leaves rustling in the breeze. in the center of the courtyard, a fountain glistens in the sunlight, its crystal-clear waters cascading down tiers of stone. as you draw nearer to the entrance, the intricate details of the building come into focus. gothic arches adorn the windows, their elegant curves reminiscent of a bygone era of grandeur and opulence. 

you couldn’t believe that you were standing directly in front of the building you had only ever seen from your window. 

as you walk down the grand hallway with your parents, their expressions a mix of pride and apprehension, you can't help but feel a sense of wonder wash over you.

the walls are adorned with paintings, their colors vibrant against the rich tapestries and flickering candles. the scent of polish lingers in the air, mingling with the soft glow of chandeliers that cast intricate patterns on the marble floors below. you had thought before that you’d only ever get to see this place in pictures. 

"this place is incredible," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as you take in the grandeur of your surroundings. 

finally, you find your room, the number ‘42’ etched in brass shining brightly against the dark wood. with trembling hands, you insert the key into the lock and turn it, the click of the mechanism echoing through the hallway. as the door swings open, you're greeted by a sight that takes your breath away. the room is bathed in soft light, streaming in through the tall windows that overlook the courtyard below. twin beds sit across from each other against separate walls, their crisp white linens inviting and pristine. a mahogany desk and matching chair occupy each corner, while a cozy reading nook with plush armchairs beckons from another.

as your parents stand before you, their expressions a mix of pride and bittersweetness, you feel a lump form in your throat. the weight of their impending departure hangs heavy in the air, casting a shadow over the room that was once filled with excitement and anticipation.

"we'll miss you, sweetheart," your mother says, her voice soft with emotion.

your father nods in agreement, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "but we know you'll do great here," he says, his voice steady despite the emotion that lingers just beneath the surface.

you pull them both into a tight embrace, clinging to them as if afraid to let go. the scent of your mother's perfume and the warmth of your father's embrace envelop you like a cocoon, offering a fleeting sense of comfort in the face of impending separation.

with one final squeeze, you release them from your grasp, watching as they turn and make their way to the door, their footsteps echoing softly against the polished floors.

as the door clicks shut behind them, you're left alone in your new surroundings. you lay back on the bed, the soft mattress beneath you so different from your bed at home.

as the door to the dorm room swings open, a girl strides in with purpose, her arms laden with bags that she unceremoniously drops to the floor with a thud. she barely spares you a glance as she begins to unpack her belongings, her movements efficient and methodical.

"hi there!" you chirp, mustering up a cheerful tone despite the girl's indifferent demeanor.

"hi," she mumbles in response, her voice flat and devoid of enthusiasm.

you watch her for a moment, noting the tension in her shoulders and the furrow of concentration on her brow. there's a sense of guardedness about her that you pick up on.

with a sigh, you resign yourself to the awkward silence that hangs between you, that you aren’t sure if only you feel. but as you watch her unpack her things from your spot on the bed, you can’t help but wonder about your new roommate. 

she carries herself with the quiet confidence of someone accustomed to being the center of attention, yet there's a subtle tension in her demeanor. her long hair cascades down her back in waves, framing her face like a curtain of silk. a brown plaid headband sits atop her head, adding a touch of preppy sophistication. she wears a white blouse that fits her frame, its sleeves rolled up to reveal slender wrists adorned with delicate gold bracelets. a brown, plaid skirt matches her headband and tucks in her blouse. tt's as if she carries herself with a sense of quiet authority, a reminder of the privilege and power that comes with her old-money upbringing.

as suddenly as the girl appears, she quickly disappears. throwing her empty bags into a pile on the floor before she’s opening and closing the door, her long hair blowing as she slams it shut after her. 

left alone again in your room, you huff and decide that it’s time to unpack.. you hadn’t thought your first encounter with your roommate would be so dull and brief. but what could you do? maybe you just weren’t as used to the rich lifestyle as you imagined.

with your packing finally complete, a pang of hunger gnaws at your stomach, reminding you that it was almost dinner time. 

you realize that you had no idea where the dining hall was once you step outside your dorm room. but decided to follow the crowds of students that are talking and walking together in the same direction. you easily fall into step behind them, anxiousness building up in your empty stomach. 

but as you round a corner and catch sight of the dining hall up ahead, a wave of relief washes over you. 

you step into the dining hall, the glow of chandeliers casting patterns of light and shadow across the room. large windows line one wall, allowing the soft light of dusk to filter in and bathe the space in a golden hue. the flickering flames of candles add to the cozy ambiance, casting dancing shadows on the walls.

the room has four long rows of tables, each adorned with pristine white tablecloths and gleaming silverware. plates are neatly arranged in front of each chair, awaiting the arrival of hungry students eager to partake in the evening meal.

at the front of the room, a long table sits perpendicular to the rows of tables, its surface adorned with an array of decadent dishes and platters. older adults, probably some staff or professors, are seated around the table, engaged in conversation.

you stand at the entrance, not knowing what to do next.

a man with a scowl etched on his face suddenly appears beside you, his tall figure looming over you. aAre you new?" he grumbles, his voice low and gruff.

"uh, yes sir," you reply, feeling a pang of nervousness at his stern demeanor.

"what year are you in?" he demands, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"second year," you answer, your voice barely above a whisper.

the man lets out a sigh similar to an annoyed huff. "second years sit at the second table from the left," he instructs, pointing towards a table where some students are already seated.

"thank you, sir," you mumble gratefully, relief flooding through you as you follow his directions.

you settle into a seat at the back of the table, closer to the entrance doors, where the light spills in from the hallway. The shiny silverware catches your eye, gleaming under the soft glow of the chandeliers above. you reach out tentatively, running your fingers along the smooth surface of the plate before you.

your reflection stares back at you, crisp and clear on the plate. It's a strange sensation, seeing yourself mirrored in such opulent surroundings. you've never encountered plates and forks so expensive before, you were nervous to touch the spoons. 

someone suddenly plops down beside you with a perky "hi!" you turn in shock to see a girl flashing you a bright smile. her presence radiating an air of elegance and sophistication that fits perfectly with all the other students you’ve seen. 

she has flawless porcelain skin that seems to glow under the soft lighting of the dining hall. her eyes, framed by long lashes, sparkle with warmth and friendliness as she greets you. long, silky hair cascades down her back in gentle waves, adding to her ethereal aura.

despite her glamorous exterior, there's a genuine warmth to minju that puts you at ease.

“i’m minju.” the girl smiles at you, her eyes turning into upside smiles as she does so. 

“hi, i’m y/n.” 

“ooh, i like that name! but i don’t think we’ve ever met, right?” 

you shake your head no, “no, i’m new.” 

minju gasps loudly, her hands reaching out to grab your forearm, “oh my god! no way! what school did you go to before?” 

“uh, woodcrest springs.” 

minju pouts, her pretty features not affected, “i’ve never heard of that one before. how much is tuition?” 

you want to smile at her question, but you know she’s being serious. “nothing, i went to public school.” 

minju’s jaw drops like you’ve told her the secret to the end of the world. you expect her to get up and walk away from you. but you’re surprised that she stays put, her pretty smile returning to her pretty face. 

“really? i’ve never met someone who’s gone to public school before. what’s it like?” 

you can hardly believe her words. but you know that her seemingly level of elegance didn’t come from someone who hung out with public school kids all her life. before you can answer her, someone sits down from across you both. you instantly notice that it’s your roommate. 

“oh my god, heejin! this is y/n, she went to public school.!” minju nods with a smile as she informs your roommate, heejin, about you. 

heejin props her chin on her hand as she glances from minju to you and then back to minju, simply shrugging at minju’s words. 

minju tsks from beside you and then turns to you again, “y/n, this is heejin– we’re best friends.” 

you make an ‘O’ shape with your mouth as you let out an acknowledgment, “yeah, i met her earlier, we’re roommates.” 

“what?” minju’s voice yelled, causing you to jerk in surprise, everyone in the room looking your way except for heejin who seems to be use to minju’s loudness. “heejin, you didn’t tell me you met your roommate.” minju’s voice comes out in a whine. 

heejin shrugs again, looking at her freshly painted manicure, “didn’t come up.” 

minju pouts at her answer. 

“right, we didn’t exactly, talk, the last time we saw each other.” you spoke awkwardly, remembering how heejin barely looked your way. 

“i don’t exactly talk to anyone.” 

“except for me!” minju sing songs beside you, smiling at heejin who only quirks her eyebrow as she looks at her supposed best friend. minju places her hand against your forearm again, “don’t mind heejin, she’s just mad that we aren’t roommates this year.” 

embarrassment suddenly fills you with her words, finally finding out why heejin was so cold to you. “o-oh, i’m sorry, can we change rooms? because you can happily take min-.” 

minju laughs, “no no, it’s a new policy that we can’t pick our own roommates,” she pouts, “but this will be fun! we’ll get closer and become friends! right heejin?” you and minju turn to look at heejin, who forces a fake smile and nods to please minju. 

a man's voice suddenly booms through the dining hall, drawing your attention away from your meal. you glance up to the front of the room and see a figure clad in a fresh, black suit standing at a podium in front of the tables.

the dining hall has become full, not one table spot is empty across all four tables. the students murmurs fade into silence to listen to the man.

the man steps forward, his voice commanding attention as he introduces himself. "good evening, students. I'm dean kinglsey," 

a collective murmur ripples through the crowd as dean kinglsey begins to outline the rules for the year. "firstly," he declares, "there will be no roommate changes allowed. you've been assigned your roommates for the duration of the term."

"secondly," dean kinglsey continues, "there will be no boys in the girls' dorms, and no girls in the boys' dorms. this rule is non-negotiable."

a wave of groans washes over the students, accompanied by a few muttered complaints.

"thirdly, starting tomorrow, everyone must wear their uniforms,"

"and lastly," dean kinglsey concludes, "we have a three-strike policy. if you break any of these rules three times, you will be expelled. in addition, be sure to be at class on time or you will be served detention if you do not have a late note."

"remember," dean kingsley's voice softens slightly, a hint of warmth infusing his tone, "while rules are important, so is enjoying your time here. have a safe school year, students. keep up with your academics, but don't forget to make memories along the way."

he pauses, letting his words sink in before concluding, "now, I urge you all to have a good dinner and get plenty of rest. tomorrow is a new day, filled with endless possibilities. make the most of it." with a final nod, Dean Kingsley steps away from the podium.

suddenly, a dozen servers emerge from the kitchen, each carrying an array of tantalizing dishes. they begin placing plates atop the already gleaming silverware adorning your table. the food before you is definitely the most luxurious in both appearance and aroma that you have ever seen. there’s vibrant vegetables and delicate garnishes on the plates, something your parents never did. 

from the table behind you, a voice calls out heejin’s name, drawing both of your attention. you turn to see a boy from the third year's table, a smirk playing on his lips as he addresses her.

"how was your summer?" he asks, his tone laced with a hint of sarcasm. then, with a sly grin, “did you finally perfect your resting bitch face?” 

heejin’s expression darkens, her features contorting into a scowl as she shoots the boy a glare. 

“heeseung, eat your food.” minju whines out to the boy. 

“yeah heeseung, eat your food before i knock out your teeth.” 

heeseung grins at heejin’s answer before turning around so his back is to you guys again. 

“who was that?” you ask them, shocked by how rude he was. 

heejin groans from across you at your question. 

“lee heeseung,” minju speaks, “heejin’s brother.”

“half brother.” heejin clarifies before stuffing her mouth with her fork. 

“right,” minju nods, “half brother.” 

from the corner of your eye, you catch the dining hall door open, the heads of the sitting students turn subtly in the direction of it. all of them watching a boy who saunters in late. the loud chatter then mixes with whispers as the boy approaches the tables. he moves with nonchalant as he’s dressed in the most casual attire you’ve seen today. 

he approaches the tables and casually greets heeseung behind heejin who could care less about the boy who has everyones head turning. with a nod, heeseung gestures for a guy at your table to move so the boy could sit there instead. there’s a grunt of protest from the other guy, but he begrudgingly moves to sit closer to the front. 

the boy sits down into the seat so he’s diagonally back to back with heeseung. the boy shakes his head at heeseung, his voice is low when he murmurs, “you didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“what?” heeseung reaches to grab the boy on the shoulder, “c’mon jake, i haven’t seen you all summer. you don’t want to sit close to me?” 

the boy– jake, rolls his eyes at heeseung before he picks up the fork in front of him to eat.

from across the table, you feel a shift in the atmosphere, a gentle tug of awareness that draws your gaze to meet jake’s. his soft brown eyes, warm and mysterious, lock with your own, and for a moment, the bustling chatter of the dining hall fades into the background. you find yourself unable to look away from his gaze, by the silent exchange of curiosity passes between you.

his features are illuminated by the soft glow of the room. you notice the gentle curve of his plush, pink lips, sealed tight in a quiet contemplation as he returns your gaze with unwavering intensity.

minju's hand wraps around your arm again, her grip firm yet strangely comforting as she leans in closer. "so, where are you from?" she asks, her words tumbling out in a rapid stream before you have a chance to respond. without waiting for an answer, she launches into a litany of cities she's lived in, her voice a blur of names and memories.

your gaze drifts involuntarily to jake, seated across the table, but his attention is elsewhere. his eyes remain fixed on his plate, his expression unreadable as if you've become invisible to him in that moment.

as minju continues to recount her experiences, you struggle to focus on her words, your mind wandering back to the boy across the table. there's a sense of longing in his silence, a quiet intensity that leaves you yearning to learn more. and as you try to listen to minju's stories, a part of you can't help but wonder more about who this jake boy is.

midway through your breakfast on the first day of classes, as you sit with heejin, minju and minju’s roommate, your attention is drawn to the entrance of the dining hall. a hush falls over the room as jake and a group of boys make their way inside, their presence commanding attention as heads turn in their direction.

you can't help but notice the curious glances and whispered conversations that fill through the room at the sight of jake. there's an undeniable aura of mystery surrounding him, a silent intrigue that seems to follow him wherever he goes.

as you watch from afar, you can't shake the feeling that there's more to jake than meets the eye. and as the buzz of conversation resumes around you, you can’t focus on heejin’s story of her summer vacation in the maldives.

“that’s jake.” minju’s voice speaks from beside you. the mention of his name makes you rip your eyes away from him and onto your new friend instead. her and lia laugh at your shocked expression while heejin only quietly smirks. “you think he’s cute?”

“what? no.” you shake your head, hoping your cheeks don’t go bright red. “it’s just, why does everyone stop and look at him all the time? and whisper?” you notice how all three of the girls seemingly give each other knowing looks that you can’t understand. minju sighs from beside you before she speaks again. 

“jake is a year older than us, but last year, he failed a bunch of classes.” 

lia nods, “yeah, and then he got three strikes,” her tone grave, “so he was expelled.” 

“he should be expelled.” heejin mumbles into her cereal. 

you can’t help but ask the obvious question, “so if he should be expelled, why is he here and sitting at the second-year table?” 

“well that’s the thing, he shouldn’t be here,” lia remarks, her voice tinged with a hint of disbelief. 

minju nods in agreement, chiming in with her own observation. "yeah, you heard dean kingsley, they are very strict with the three-strike policy," she adds, her tone somber.

"but," lia continues, her voice taking on a teasing lilt, "there are rumors about how jake's mom hooked up with the dean so jake wouldn't get expelled." 

“what? that’s not what i heard.” minju pouts at lia. 

“what? what did you hear?” lia tilts her head in confusion. 

“i heard,” heejin says from her corner, “that jake’s mom let dean kingsley stay in their monaco mansion for the summer.” 

“yeah!” minju nodded excitedly, “that’s what i heard, too!” 

at their rumours, you glance over at jake who’s stood beside the third year table, talking to a group of boys. his face is expressionless as he watches his friends converse amongst each other. the rumors of why he didn't get expelled only fuel your curiosity about him. 

“what did he do to get three strikes?” you ask the group of girls. the three of them hold back their laughs, shaking their heads as they continue to eat. “what? c’mon tell me.” 

“what didn’t he do?” lia speaks sarcastically.

minju laughs as she turns to look at you, “well one strike was from when he rearranged all of dean kingsley’s furniture in the middle of the night.” 

“what?” you ask in disbelief. 

“yeah, he put his couch in front of the door so he couldn’t even open it from the hallway.” lia smirked at the memory. 

“the second strike was when him and his friends, like heeseung, snuck food out from the kitchen and had a whole feast in the library at midnight.” minju told you, explaining that all the books on the shelf had ketchup on them. 

“then, third one, which jake insists he didn’t do,” lia put her hands up, “was spray paint the entire courtyard, the fountain was gushing rainbow coloured water.” 

“but what really got him expelled was that he had failed all his classes.” lia stated, “which is weird because he used to be the top of the class during first year.” 

you go back into silence as lia and minju start to complain about the uniforms you have to wear. you couldn’t care to complain about the uniform you had always dreamed of wearing. but you also couldn’t stop thinking about jake. his seemingly calm presence was so different from the troublemaker the girls had explained to you. you didn’t understand how the quiet, almost lonely looking boy could have been practically expelled. 

the bell rings, signaling that classes are about to start, making you forget about jake for the time being and worry about not getting lost in the long hallways. 

but of course you still rush down the hallway, your footsteps echoing against the polished floors, you curse under your breath, knowing you're already late for your first class. pushing open the door, you find the room hushed and all eyes turn to you. your teacher's stern gaze meets yours.

"and what's your name?" she demands sharply.

"Y/N Y/L/N, i'm new," you respond, trying to keep your voice steady.

"well, mrs. Y/L/N, are you going to be late every day? because then you'll be quickly given three strikes," she warns, her tone firm.

"no, mrs.," you murmur, feeling the weight of her disapproval.

with a curt nod, she gestures for you to find a seat, the unspoken threat of consequences lingering in the air as you settle in, determined not to make the same mistake again. “consider this your first and final warning then, mrs y/l/n.” 

head bowed, you try to blend into your seat, the flush of embarrassment still staining your cheeks as the teacher launches into the lesson. But just as you start to relax, the door creaks open once more, and your heart skips a beat when you see jake slip in.

"mr. sim, late on your first day?" the teacher's voice is sharp, cutting through the classroom.

"yes, mrs., sorry," jake mumbles, his tone subdued.

"don't say sorry to me, it's your parents who you will have to say sorry to when you're expelled. next time you are late, i'll give you a strike. go and sit down," the teacher retorts, her tone firm and uncompromising.

you can't help but steal a glance at jake as he retreats to a seat, noticing the flicker of annoyance in his eyes before he lowers his gaze, mirroring your own discomfort. he's in his school uniform, but there's an air of rebellion about him—the tie around his neck slightly too loose for the dean’s liking. his hair is tousled, like he had just gotten out of bed. but it was refreshing to see since everyone else was too pristine and perfect looking. 

you shift once he settles into the seat diagonally behind you. with a quick glance over your shoulder, your eyes meet his unexpectedly. though strangely, neither of you can look away. it's only when the sharp sound of the teacher slamming a textbook down on her table jolts through the classroom that your eyes retreat, returning to the safety of your desk.

you tell yourself to ignore jake's presence and listen to the teacher. your scholarship would not allow you to be distracted this year. you remind yourself of the importance of focusing on your studies, of making the most of this opportunity that your parents had worked so hard to provide. as much as curiosity tugs at your thoughts, you force your attention back to the front of the classroom, where the teacher's voice drones on about the subject matter.

after what felt like an eternity of being lost in the halls of sterling academy during the first week of school, you had thought you had learnt your way around. but once again, you found yourself rushing through the labyrinthine halls of sterling academy, trying desperately to get to class. once you find your english literature class again, you take a moment to catch your breath, mentally preparing yourself for the inevitable reprimand from your teacher.

pushing open the door, you stepped into the classroom, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. all eyes turned to you as you made your entrance, the weight of their scrutiny heavy upon you.

the teacher, a stern-looking figure with a stack of papers in hand, fixed you with a disapproving glare. "and what excuse do you have for being late this time, miss y/l/n?" she inquired, her voice tinged with annoyance.

you offered a sheepish smile, feeling the weight of your tardiness pressing down upon you. "i-i'm sorry, ma'am," you stammered, struggling to find the right words. "i got lost again."

the teacher's expression softened slightly, though her disapproval remained evident. "very well, miss y/l/n," she conceded, her tone stern. "but let this be the last time. we don't tolerate tardiness here at sterling academy. now sit down, people have already picked their partners for the project."

you nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and embarrassment wash over you. taking your seat, you looked around the classroom, noticing that everyone has in fact found a partner. 

just as you were about to accept the fact that you would have to do the project alone, the door swung up again. just like last week, jake walked into english literature late. his tie was even looser this week. 

“mr sim!” your teacher called his name in disappointment. “have you really not learnt your lesson from the previous year! you must be in class on time!” 

jake was out of breath when he spoke, “i’m sorry mrs, i am, i ran here.” 

your teacher sighed over her shoulder, making eye contact with you before she spoke to jake again, “fine, one hour detention tonight, no strike. but you’ll have to partner with the other tardy student, mrs y/l/n.” 

a jolt of surprise courses through you at the mention of your name, your heart quickening in your chest. you feel a sudden rush of nervousness, unsure of what to expect as you await jake's response.

across the room, jake's gaze flickers to yours, his expression unreadable. for a moment, the world seems to stand still as your eyes meet, an unspoken tension hanging in the air between you.

then, with a simple nod to the teacher, jake begins to make his way over to where you're sitting. you watch him approach, his movements fluid and deliberate, a sense of quiet confidence exuding from him.

before you know it, he's standing beside you, his presence looming large in your peripheral vision. his proximity sending a shiver down your spine.

without a word, jake takes the empty seat beside you. you find yourself holding your breath, the air thick with anticipation as you wait for him to speak. but instead of saying anything, jake simply offers you a small, almost imperceptible smile before turning his attention to the task at hand. as the teacher begins to outline the details of the project. 

after the class ends, the echo of the bell fading into the background, you gather your belongings as the rest of the students file out of the room.

out of the corner of your eye, you see that jake is still standing beside you. 

when he speaks, he cuts straight to the chase, his voice calm yet direct. "when will you be able to finish your part of the project?" he asks, his gaze steady as it meets yours.

caught slightly off guard by his straightforwardness, you stumble over your words for a moment "uh, pretty quickly."

a faint nod of approval is his response, his expression unreadable as he takes in your answer. "good, i want the project done as soon as possible." he says simply, his words carrying a weight of expectation that hangs in the air between you.

with that, jake turns on his heel and strides out of the classroom, his backpack slung casually over one shoulder. you watch him go, a whirlwind of thoughts swirling in your mind.

later in the week as you walk back to your dorm with minju and heejin, the day's events behind you, minju drops a bombshell that sends a jolt of surprise through your system. "oh, by the way, y/n, jake sim asked me what your dorm number is today."

"what? why?" you blurt out, unable to conceal the shock in your voice.

 minju, ever nonchalant, shrugs in response. "i don't know, he was probably just curious."

"curious about what?" you press, your curiosity piqued and your mind racing with possibilities.

"maybe he wants to ask you to the semi-dance!" minju suggests with a mischievous glint in her eyes, shaking your arm in excitement.

"he definitely does not," you retort, dismissing the notion outright. 

however, heejin interjects with her usual monotone delivery, "well, I think you're gonna have to ask him what he wants."

"why's that?" you question, genuinely perplexed by their cryptic comments.

bBecause he's currently leaning against our door," heejin deadpans, her annoyance evident in her tone. when you look up towards your dorm down the hall, the sight confirms her words. there's jake, casually leaning against your door, engrossed in a textbook.

as you draw closer to your dorm room, jake's eyes flick up from his textbook, locking onto yours with an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. heejin strides past him without so much as a word, she lets the door swing shut behind her with a resounding slam.

meanwhile, Minju greets jake with her trademark bubbly tone, seemingly unfazed by the abrupt intrusion.

 "hi, jake! what’re you doing here?" she chirps, her enthusiasm in stark contrast to heejin's personality. your gaze shifts between the two of them, caught between curiosity and apprehension.

jake smiles the first genuine smile you’ve seen from him as he looks down at minju. “y/n and i are partners for a project.” 

minju gasps, “what? y/n you didn’t tell me that!” you shrug in response, feeling awkward in between them. “what class?” 

“english literature.” jake replies before he looks at you. “do you want to meet at the library tomorrow?” 

you unexpectedly look between minju and jake. minju’s bright smile is gleaming in between you and jake. “uh, sure.” 

with a subtle nod of approval, jake begins to retreat down the hallway, his footsteps echoing softly against the polished floors. you and minju watch in silence as he gradually recedes from view. 

minju's cheerful voice pierces the quiet, "bye, jake!" she calls out, her tone infused with genuine warmth as she waves after him with unabashed enthusiasm. jake offers a brief wave in return, a fleeting gesture, before continuing on his way without looking back.

left alone in the hallway with minju you couldn’t help but question if you were grateful or not for being late to class yesterday. 

as you bid farewell to minju and step into your dorm room, you find heejin lounging on her bed. with a sigh, you begin to remove your jewelry, catching heejin's reflection in the mirror as she watches you. her eyes meet yours, and she offers a pointed remark, "don't get too obsessed with jake sim."

you scoff lightly, surprised by her blunt comment. "what? i'm not obsessed with him," you retort, feeling a touch defensive.

heejin raises an eyebrow skeptically, her expression unreadable. "right, so what's with that dazed expression on your face?" she counters, her tone teasing yet observant.

glancing at your reflection in the mirror, you notice a hint of preoccupation lingering in your features. frowning slightly, you shake your head in denial. "i'm not obsessed with jake sim, heejin," you insist, trying to convince both her and yourself.

heejin lets out a noncommittal murmur, her response dismissive as she rolls over in bed. "whatever," she mutters under her breath, signaling an end to the conversation as she turns away.

you brush off heejin's words, convinced that she doesn't understand your intentions. her comment about jake sim doesn't sit well with you, but you push it aside. after all, you're not here at sterling academy to obsess over a boy who almost got expelled last year. you're here to focus on your studies and make the most of your education. jake may be intriguing, but he's not the reason you're here. you remind yourself of the countless hours of hard work and dedication that brought you to this prestigious academy. 

with that final thought, you decide it's time to call it a night. tomorrow is a new day, and with it, a project to work on with jake sim.

you feel your nerves mix around as you wait for jake to arrive. the library is quiet, save for the occasional shuffle of papers and the soft hum of the air conditioning. you glance around, noting the rows of bookshelves and the sunlight filtering in through the windows, casting long shadows on the floor.

you tap your pen on the book you’ve been assigned to read. the red nail polish on your fingers serves as a reminder of your nervous habit of picking at your nails when you're stressed. you make a mental note to stop, but find yourself doing it unconsciously as you wait. the color matches the red on the book cover of ‘Rebecca’ by daphne du maurier. 

you startle when jake suddenly appears beside you, his simple greeting catching you off guard. pulling your fingers away from each other, you look up to find him standing there, wearing his school uniform with his tie slightly loose. you note that his hair looks more brushed today, a small detail that doesn't go unnoticed.

quietly, you return his greeting with a simple "hi," your voice barely above a whisper. as he sits down across from you, you feel a sense of tension dissipating, 

jake pulls out his copy of "Rebecca" and asks if you've read the book. 

you nod, a simple "yeah" slipping from your lips. you always have a lack of words when jake speaks to you. 

his gaze meets yours, a silent question lingering in his eyes, “when?” 

you give a nonchalant shrug, “last year or something."

there's a flicker of something in jake's expression, almost like he's impressed, but he quickly masks it with a casual shrug. he pulls out his laptop from his backpack and sets it on the table. 

“have you read it?” 

jake nods immediately, “yeah, my dad used to read it to me when i was younger.” 

you don’t say anything at the mention of his dad. but you realize that your friends have only ever told you about jake’s mom. not necessarily respectable things about his mom. you lean back in your chair, watching as jake's eyes scan the empty page before you both. he looks so focused, so sure of himself. meanwhile, you can feel the anxiety bubbling up inside you, making it hard to concentrate.

"so, I was thinking we could start by outlining our approach. what do you think?" jake's voice cuts through the silence, and you snap back to attention, trying to push aside your nerves.

"uh, yeah, sure. sounds good," you mumble, your words coming out quieter than you intended, shifting uncomfortably.

"great," he replies, his tone brisk and efficient. "did you have any ideas for how we should structure it?"

you rack your brain for a response, but all you can come up with is a hesitant, "maybe we could... uh, divide the sections?"

jake nods, seemingly unfazed by your lack of input. "Yeah, that makes sense. We can each take a section and then compare notes. How about you work on the first part, and I'll work on the second?"

you hesitate for a moment before nodding in agreement. "okay, sounds good," you manage to say, your voice betraying your nerves.

"perfect," jake says, already turning his attention back to the task at hand. "snd we can meet up another time to put our section together."

"yeah, sure." you reply, trying to sound more confident than you feel. you watch as jake starts typing away on his laptop, his fingers moving swiftly across the keys.

you and jake work diligently on your project, the rhythm of your typing filling the air around you. as the afternoon wears on, jake suddenly glances at his watch and groans.

"i've got to go, i promised sunghoon i’d help him with his paper." he says, starting to gather his belongings.

you nod in understanding, pretending to know who sunghoon was. "yeah, no problem," you reply, trying to hide your confusion.

before he leaves, jake turns to you with a serious expression. "we'll have to make sure we get a good grade on this, for both of our sakes," 

confused, you furrow your brow. "what do you mean?" 

jake hesitates for a moment, then meets your gaze head-on. "i mean, you are the scholarship girl, right?"

you're taken aback by his blunt question, but you nod, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up your neck. "yeah, i am," you admit, unable to meet his eyes.

jake nods in acknowledgment and continues to pack his bag.

"and you are the boy who should've gotten expelled last year, right?" the words slip out before you can stop them, and you instantly regret saying them.

to your surprise, jake stops and turns his gaze to look at you, a knowing smirk starting to creep onto his face. "yeah, i am," 

you nod and lean back in your chair. he stands up once his bag is re-packed. 

“see you later, scholarship girl.” you watch him leave with a mixture of confusion and amusement, smiling to yourself as you gather your own things.

it’s days later when, minju, lia, heejin and you are sitting in the dining hall, textbooks spread out on the table before you as you study while waiting for dinner. the room is relatively quiet, with only a few students scattered around, either engrossed in their own work or engaged in quiet conversation.

minju breaks the silence with a question, her voice soft but curious. "how is your project with jake going?" she asks, glancing up from her notes.

you give a nonchalant shrug, "it's good," you reply simply, glancing over at heejin. 

satisfied with your answer, minju nods and returns her focus to her studies. sensing an opportunity, you hesitantly ask, "can i ask you guys something?" drawing their attention back to you. they all nod in unison. you take a deep breath, "do you think it's true that jake's mom did something in order for him not to get expelled?" you ask, your voice tinged with uncertainty.

lia is the first to respond, her expression thoughtful. "i mean, it would make sense that he of all people wouldn't get expelled," she reasons, echoing the suspicions that have been circulating among the students.

you furrow your brow, puzzled by her statement. "what do you mean?"

heejin jumps in before lia can respond, her tone matter-of-fact. "she means because jake's family is the wealthiest family in the state," she explains, “his dad invented some medical imaging technology that advanced the whole MRI machinery.” 

"yeah, but then he died," minju states somberly.

“what?” your jaw dropped, looking around the table at your friends’ faces. “how?” 

“it was a car accident.” 

“yeah, that he did on purpose.” lia states with a firm nod. 

heejin only rolls her eyes at the two of them, obviously not caring about the conversation. 

“what happened?” you ask them. 

lia sighs, “his dads car was found smashed in a river.” 

before you can ask more questions, the bell for dinner rings and a large group of students starts to walk in the dining hall. the four of you start to pack away your textbooks, making room for the meal that was about to commence. 

as the dining hall starts to fill up, you catch jake’s eye from down the long table, a small smile forming on his lips as he rests his head on his fist. for a brief moment, it feels like just the two of you in the bustling dining hall. but as quickly as it came, the moment fades as the staff brings plates and obstructs your view. when you look up again, jake is engrossed in conversation with the boys around him, as if you're nothing more than a passing thought.

as the noise of the dining hall grows louder, you push aside any lingering thoughts of jake and focus on enjoying your meal.

you're sitting at your desk, the soft glow of your desk lamp casting a warm light on the papers scattered in front of you. you're finishing your homework, the quiet of the evening wrapping around you like a blanket. suddenly, there's a knock at your door, breaking the silence. you glance up, figuring it was minju coming to ask for homework help. 

as you open the door, you’re surprised to see jake standing in the hallway, looking slightly disheveled and out of breath. his expression is urgent, and you can tell something's wrong.

"hey," he says, his voice rushed. "i need your help with something."

you furrow your brow, taken aback by his sudden appearance. “sure, what's going on?" you ask, stepping aside to let him in. he entered quickly, his movements hurried. both of you forgetting about the rule of no gender mixing in dorm rooms. 

"i accidentally deleted part of the paper we were working on," he explains, his tone frantic. "it's due tomorrow, and I don't have time to redo it. can you help me?"

you sigh, but nod, “sure, sit down.” 

jake sighs in relief, sinking onto your bed as he relaxes slightly. "thank you," he says, gratitude evident in his voice.

you glance at the clock, realizing that heejin won’t be back to the dorm for a few hours since she’s at her debate club. you know how mad she would get if she saw jake in her dorm, sitting on your bed. 

both of you hunch over your own laptops, fingers flying across the keys as you rush to finish your project. The task at hand is clear, but your mind keeps wandering, drawn to the presence of jake beside you. Out of the corner of your eye, you steal glances at him as he sits on your bed, his posture relaxed yet focused. His eyes roam around your dorm room, taking in the details of your surroundings. You wonder what thoughts are swirling in his mind as he gazes at the walls adorned with posters and the shelves filled with books.

A sudden self-consciousness washes over you, and you find it hard to concentrate on the project at hand. jake's presence seems to fill the room, his energy palpable even in the quiet stillness of the evening. You can't help but wonder what he thinks of your space, if he finds it welcoming or if it feels foreign to him.

Despite your efforts to concentrate, your thoughts keep drifting back to jake, his presence a subtle distraction that pulls at your attention.

jake's voice breaks the silence, his words carrying a gentle curiosity as he picks up a framed photograph from the nightstand. "Who are they?" he asks, his eyes lingering on the image of your parents captured in a frozen moment of time.

With a soft smile, you reply, "My parents," the simplicity of your answer belying the complexity of emotions swirling beneath the surface.

Setting the photograph back down, jake's gaze shifts to you, his eyes holding a quiet intensity as he asks, "What city are you from anyways?" Your response is straightforward, "The town that's down the street," the familiarity of home echoing in your words.

Surprise flickers across jake's features as he realizes the proximity of your upbringing to Sterling Academy. "Right over there?" he questions, gesturing vaguely in the direction of your hometown. When you nod in affirmation, his expression reflects a mixture of disbelief and intrigue.

"So you've always seen this school then," he remarks, a note of realization coloring his tone. Your affirmative nod only deepens the gravity of the moment, the weight of unspoken truths hanging heavy in the air between you.

"Did you always want to go here?" jake's question pulls you back to the present, his voice breaking through the quietude of the room. 

With a hesitant nod, you acknowledge, "Yes, it was my dream to.” 

“why would your dream be to come here?” 

“what’s wrong with dreaming to come here?” 

jake sighs and lays down on your bed so his feet are still on the floor. you feel your heart pick up pace as he stares at the ceiling. 

“i don’t know, i hate this place.” 

“so,” you’re hesitant to ask the question, “does that mean that you tried to get expelled last year?” 

you watch jake smile at your question, his eyes stay examining your ceiling, trying to find a crack in it to show that this building isn’t as perfect as it seems, but finds none. 

“no, i didn’t try to get expelled. i just wanted to have fun. it’s so boring here.” 

you glance over your shoulder at him, “i think it’s fun here.” 

jake meets your eyes for the first time, “it’s because you’re new, give it another week and you’ll see what i mean.” 

“no,” you instantly shake your head, “i’ve always wanted to live like this.” jake sits up on his elbows at your words. a perplexed expression covers his face as he takes in your argument. you can tell he wants to say something but doesn’t know how. “just say it.” you tell him. 

“so, without the scholarship, you really wouldn’t be able to come here?” 

“no,” you retort with a snort, “i’m broke, jake. this place is perfect.” 

“well this lifestyle isn’t as perfect as you think.” 

you turn in your chair to look at him, your bodies facing each other now. he looks so comfortable and casually sprawled across your bed, his bangs falling in his eyes as he looks at you. 

“what do you mean? you get to live in houses that are basically castles, and wear nice clothes and eat all this fancy food that i’ve never even heard of before.” 

just as jake’s mouth opens to respond, you hear the door open behind you. jake abruptly stands at heejin’s unexpected return. as you turn to look at her, you instantly catch the flicker of annoyance in her eyes as she surveys the scene before her, her lips pressed into a thin line of disapproval. 

you feel a pang of disappointment at the interruption as you meet eyes with jake. 

heejin’s disapproving gaze lingers for a moment longer before she continues to walk to her bed, her back facing both of you as she starts to unpack her school page. 

you feel a flush of embarrassment rise in your cheeks for some reason. an unspoken acknowledgement of the unspoken boundaries that have been breached. jake, ever composed, offers polite greeting to her, which she ignores. he starts to move to leave, packing his own bag and swinging it over his shoulder. 

“see you, y/n.” jake’s hand reaches out and brushes against your shoulder in a farewell. leaving behind a burning sensation on your skin where his fingers touched so gently. you mumble a goodbye as he leaves your dorm room, shutting the door ever so quietly. 

you sit down on your bed, glancing over at heejin’s hunched over shoulders, waiting for her to snap at you. but only, her snap doesn’t appear. she just reaches over and turns off her bedside lamp before crawling into her own bed for the night. 

you sigh but copy her movements, figuring that she was too tired from debate club that she would just confront you tomorrow. which you were sort of grateful for since you were also tired from having to rewrite jake’s part of the project. 

the last thought that crosses your mind before you fall asleep is jake’s pretty lips frowning in confusion at your love of sterling academy.

after your presentation with jake is finished, you didn’t see much of him. 

in english literature class, he was quick to come in and leave, never saying much but a quick ‘hello’. still, both of you found yourselves glancing at the other frequently. you wondered if you and jake would ever speak again. there was just something about jake sim that you couldn’t ignore. 

one afternoon, you stayed a little longer in class to read over your english literature novel. the rest of the students had left a half hour before. your teacher had told you to make sure the window was closed before you left as she soon followed the students out. when you had had enough of ‘the bell jar’, you closed the book followed by the window and threw your bag over your shoulder. 

just as you turn the corner to step into the hall, you stop, a gasp leaving your mouth as a body stands in front of you. you have to turn your head upwards to see who it is. 

jake has a quirked eyebrow as he looks down at you, a smirk on his face as he’s amused by how shocked you are. you take a step back since your face was practically touching his chest. you never realized how much taller than you he was. 

“oh, hi.” you speak quietly, embarrassed for almost running into him. 

“hey,” jake nods, “what were you still doing in there?” 

“just finishing this week’s chapter.” you turn the book in your hand over so he can see the title, “are you caught up?” 

jake shrugs, “i read it last year, i’m not reading it again.” 

“right.” you smile as you look down at the book in your grasp. “what’re you doing back here?”

“i forgot my sweater in the back of the class.” 

“oh, okay.” you nod, “i guess, i’ll see you later or something.” 

“right, see you later.” 

you move around him to start walking to your dorm room until jake calls your name again. you still and turn your head over your shoulder to look at him. “yeah?” 

“actually, what’re you doing right now?” 

you shrug, “just going back to my dorm.” 

jake changes weight on his feet as he thinks for a moment, “do you, want to study for the history test together?”

“sure.” 

you followed jake away from the corridors of sterling academy. the noise of students faded into the distance as he took you outside. the soft rustle of leaves crunching with every step you took. the afternoon sun dipped low on the horizon when both of you stopped walking. 

you stood in a small clearing at the edge of the school’s property, where a weathered wooden bench stood sentinel beneath the shade of a groove of trees. its age was evident in the worn slats and chipped paint, a stark contrast to the polished elegance of sterling academy. 

“what’s this?” 

“a bench.” jake replied, settling down onto the far right of it, already zipping open his backpack. 

you followed his lead and sat on the far left of the bench as you looked around. from this vantage point, you could still see the sprawling expanse of the school grounds laid before you; manicured lawns stretching into the distant stables where the equestrian club practiced their routines.

despite the unfamiliar area, you found yourself strangely relaxing. you glance at jake beside you, his body also relaxed right into the bench as he flips through the pages of the heavy history textbook.

“you’ve come here before?” you ask him since he looks so comfortable. 

“yeah, all the time.” 

you jake read some of the textbook as you took in the outdoors. you haven’t been outside for longer than a run for gym class since you left home. when you were home, the only thing you would do was spend your time outside. the feeling of the gentle breeze brushing against your bare skin made you feel a sort of homesick. 

“do you like it out here?” 

“of course, i love being outside.” 

jake nodded in agreement, “yeah, it’s nice being away from the noise and chaos of the school.” 

“you really don’t like this school?” 

“yeah, i hate it.” jake murmured, his gaze fixated on the building in the distance. “but out here, surrounded by the trees and the sky, and the horse shit, it’s like everything else just fades away, you know?” 

you nodded, “yeah, it’s like nature heals you in a way. reminds you that there’s something bigger out there, something beyond our own worries and fears.” 

“exactly, a reminder that we’re not alone in this world even if we feel like it sometimes.” 

you pick at the edges of your textbook on your lap, not looking at the boy beside you. “i use to be outside all the time when i was at home.” 

“really?” 

“yeah, i use to garden all the time.” 

jake turns his body to face you, intrigued, his textbook forgotten and closed on his lap. “you gardened? i’ve never gardened, we’ve always just had gardeners.” 

you tilt your head at the information, “yeah, my mom always let me play in the mud when i was younger- i made a lot of mud pies.” 

jake’s eyebrows raised, “really? my mom would’ve killed me. god forbid i got a little dirt on my church’s.” 

you smirked at the mention of the brand of shoes, choosing to not mention the fact that you would have never been able to afford a pair. your different childhood memories seemed to be only a brief glimpse into how different you both were. you wondered how you could ever feel so connected to someone who comes from such a different world than you. 

“dinner’s gonna start soon, wanna go back?” jake asks from his far side of the bench, his puppy features looking over at you, the sunset behind his head. 

“sure,” 

you walk into the busy dining hall together and separate to go to your separate groups of friends to eat. both of you ignore the confused expressions of the other students. heejin barely notices your presence as you sit down, but you can tell that minju will definitely want to know why you and jake were late to dinner together. you can only sigh at the thought of her asking for details of every second you were with jake. you only hope that her questions can begin after you have finished dinner. 

every day you and jake begun to spend your time on that weathered bench at the edge of Sterling Academy’s property. it became a ritual, a sanctuary away from the bustling halls and echoing corridors of the school. and more recently, the staring and glares from other students. 

some days, your laps were full with the weight of your textbooks as you studied silently side by side. only occasional murmurs were shared as you listened to the wind, the birds and the equestrian club/ 

other times, your voices danced freely in the open air, mingling with the rustle of leaves and the distant whinnying of the horses. in those moments, the bench became more than just a weathered wood and peeling paint, it was a space where you really got to know jake sim. 

you looked forward to either occasion, as long as jake was there on the bench with you and despite heejin’s icy stares. you swore you could physically feel the daggers aimed at you whenever you and jake entered the dining hall late. 

today, it was a quiet day as you sat beside each other, far much closer together than you had the first day jake had shown you the bench. your thighs were touching his as you both looked down at your work. you were on the last chapter of “Rebecca” as jake scribbled equations in his physics notebook. 

you are at the part where the narrator and maxim stand together and look at the ruins of their grand estate, when jake speaks. 

“are you excited for thanksgiving?” 

you put the book down onto your lap, your thumb keeping the book open and shrug, “not really, i’m just going to be writing my book report. i’m almost done with the book now.” 

jake glances at the remaining few pages of the book, “aren’t you going to be glad to see your parents?”

you pretend to keep your eyes on the words of the book as you reply, “i’m not seeing my parents.” 

“what? why not?” jake sits up abruptly, his back off of the back of the bench now. you realize today was no longer going to be one of the quiet days spent together. 

you close the book in your lap and look at the boy, “my mom has to go out of town to work, my dad’s going with her to make sure she’ll be safe.” 

“so what? you’re just going to be alone in your house for the long weekend?” 

“no, i’m going to be in my dorm doing my book report and eating dinner with salvador.” your lips curl up in a grin at the thought of sharing a meal with the janitor every student at sterling literally detests. it couldn’t be that bad with him, or so you’ve told yourself to avoid missing your parents. 

“y/n no, that’s not happening,” jake shakes his head at you. with your confused expression he continues, “you’re coming home with me for the long weekend.”

your eyes widen at the book in your grasp suddenly feels even lighter. “what? no? jake i couldn’t.” 

“why not?” 

“because,” you grit out to him like it’s obvious. 

“because why?” 

you sigh, “because jake, it’s a family holiday, and i’ve never even met any of your family. and i mean, your house and family are, so… different from mine.” 

jake shrugged, “so? my family won’t mind you coming, if anything they’ll be happy to see me hanging out with anyone besides heeseung. plus i need you to be there or else i’ll go crazy.” jake could see the lingering doubts that gnawed at you, “please y/n,” his pink lips pout at you. 

at his puppy face and another moment of contemplation, you finally hesitant smile, “okay jake, i’ll come.” 

you watch as jake stands up and cheers at your answer, smiling his grand smile at you as he tells you how much fun you’ll have together and that now he won’t have to be stuck babysitting his younger cousins alone. as you watch him, you take in the dark sky behind him and immediately stand up in shock. 

“oh my god,” 

“okay fine, you won’t have to entertain my cousins while i sleep, but you’re definitely going to have to– what?” 

“what time is it?” 

jake looks down at his patek phillippe, “shit.”

both of you scramble to get your bags and books and start to run across the dark, empty field towards the academy that has all their lights out. 

inside, the corridors were shrouded in shadows and a veil of moonlight and silence. you and jake moved with gentle purpose through the halls in order to escape salvador. he always patrolled the halls like a sergeant that had just been discharged from the military. both of you knew that if you were caught you would get punished, jake’s punishment would be far worse than your own. 

somehow you were hand in hand with jake as you darted from shadow to shadow. salvador’s blueish flashlight swept across the walls like a lighthouse beacon, casting fleeting glimpses of light that threatened to expose you and bounced off of jake’s cheeks. 

you were too nervous to be caught to completely focus on the warmth of jake’s hand clasped firmly in yours, like either of you were scared to let go then the other would disappear. you stole glances at each other and shared silent smiles that spoke your feelings of adrenaline for you. 

then, salvador’s flashlight swept perilously close to your hiding place around an open corner. your hearts pounded in unison as you and jake pressed yourselves against the wall. your bodies were inches apart yet tethered together.

despite the anxiety ridden situation, you let yourself ponder on the brief moment of intimacy as you felt the heat of jake’s presence envelop you like a cocoon. his warmth was a beacon of sun in the darkness. your nose was a mere inch away from his strong chest. you could smell his cologne more strongly now than when it would slightly blow in the wind on the bench. you just wanted him to wrap his arms around you. 

as salvador’s footsteps faded into the far distance, you and jake emerged from the shadows and ran hand in hand down the empty hall, towards your dorm room. jake let out an airy “shh” as you covered your mouth with a giggle as jake dragged you along, hiding his own laughter from not getting caught. 

when you’re both at your dorm room, the weight of the door pressing softly against your back as you looked up jake. his features were bathed in the ethereal glow of moonlight steaming through the window, casting gentle shadows across his face that danced with the rhythm of your shared heartbeat. 

reluctantly, you let go of his hand, the warmth of his touch was sucking you into him too much. unbeknownst to you, a subtle frown tugged at the corners of jake’s lips as he watched you release his hand.

“that was close,” you whispered, your voice barely a breath in the stillness of the night. jake smirked in response, a playful glint dancing in his eyes as he leaned closer, his presence enveloping you like a cloak of comfort you knew you had to resist. 

“yeah i know. what am i gonna do with you?” he teased, his soft laughter mingling with soft tree branches tapping the window behind him. 

As you stood there, dazed and breathless from the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you, jake reached out, his hand gently cupping your jaw with a tenderness that took your breath away. His touch sends shivers down your spine, his thumb grazing your bottom lip in a gesture that spoke volumes without uttering a single word.

"You know," he began, his voice a velvet caress that sent ripples of warmth cascading through your soul, "I've never felt so close to someone before." There was a vulnerability in his words, a raw honesty that laid bare the depths of his emotions in a way you had never seen before.

But before you could respond, a flash of light sliced through the darkness, Salvador's flashlight casting a shadow down the hallway. Your eyes widened in unison, the moment shattered by the intrusion of reality. With a quick and silent exchange, jake withdrew his hand from your jaw, his lips pressing against the back of your hand in a tender farewell before he was off, disappearing into the night like a phantom fleeting into the unknown.

once inside your own dorm room, you were left standing alone in the wake of his departure, you lingered for a moment longer, the memory of his touch lingering like an echo in the chambers of your heart. with a sigh, you push off of the door and walk lazily towards your bed. your thoughts were consumed by the enigma of jake sim and his feelings towards you. 

“were you with jake?” heejin’s voice suddenly speaks from across the room, your body stilling for a second as you forgot you weren’t alone in this dorm room. with your lack of response she sighs and rolls over to look at you through the dark room. your eyes had adjusted to the room so you could see your roommate clearly. “he’s not good for you, y/n.” 

you sigh and roll flat onto your back, your arms coming up to lay on both sides of your head as you look straight up at the tall ceiling of your ancient room. her words hung in the air and you knew she was right. you and jake came from different worlds, no where should your paths have crossed in this lifetime. but somehow, your souls seemed connected in a way you couldn’t explain. though, you were certain jake didn’t feel the same. “i know that, heejin.” your voice sounded fragile. 

“whatever you think is happening between you two– it’s not. wake up y/n, and focus on your studies. we wouldn’t want your scholarship contract to break, would we?” 

you gulped at her harsh words and remained silent, your eyes still open. heejin sighs from her bed and rolls over so her back is turned to you. 

Left alone with your thoughts, you lay there in the suffocating silence, the weight of Heejin's warning pressing down upon you like a leaden shroud. And as sleep claimed you, you drifted into the realm of dreams, haunted by the specter of unrequited longing and the bitter sting of reality.

you sat in the dining hall with heejin, minju and lia the next morning. your warm oatmeal was steaming out of the bowl in front of you as you ate breakfast together. though your friends were talking, you could only focus on the 3rd year table across the room. 

a girl with cascading brown locks, a sleek jaw and pretty eyes sat amidst a group of her peers, her gaze focused upon you with a searing intensity that sent shivers down your spine. 

"Who's that?" you asked, nodding subtly in the direction of the girl who had captured your attention. Minju's cheerful demeanor faltered for a moment before she responded, her tone tinged with caution.

"That's Kim Nakyoung," she replied, her voice soft but tinged with an underlying tension. You furrowed your brow in confusion, the weight of Nakyoung's piercing stare still lingering in the air like an invisible shadow.

"well why is kim nakyoung staring at me?" you pressed, your curiosity piqued as you searched for answers. the three girls seemingly all look at each other with an expression you couldn’t quite pick up on. “what?” 

heejin shakes her head, but lia answers anyways, “well because you were out late with jake sim last night,” she explained, her words hanging heavy in the air. your heart skipped a beat at the mention of jake’s name, the memory of his touch still fresh in your mind. “...and nakyoung is basically inlove with him.” 

“how do you know she’s in love with him?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. heejin scoffed dismissively, but minju’s response was gentle. 

"Because they're family friends," she explained, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "Their parents went to college together, and they spend every holiday together. And every Valentine's Day, Nakyoung gets a Valentine's Day card from jake."

As Minju's words washed over you like a cold wave, you couldn't help but feel a pang of unease gnawing at the edges of your heart. The warmth of jake's hand on your cheek last night suddenly felt like a distant memory. heejin’s stern words from the night before rang in your mind. and suddenly you understood what she meant. 

you were sure multiple girls thought jake sim was in love with them. that they had a special connection with him that they would not be able to find anywhere else. you needed to wake up, just like heejin had said.

you didn’t go to the usual bench in the afternoon. instead you found yourself enveloped in the far corner of the library. you were far too enthralled by your biology textbook to notice the time or the rest of the students fading into the background of the old library. 

but suddenly, a hand latched onto the back of your chair and jake’s face swung into view over your shoulder. his puppy expression is so different from the dark expression you saw on the first day of school. his presence caught you off guard and sent a jolt of surprise coursing through your veins. 

jake settled into the seat beside you with an easy grin, his infectious laughter echoing through the hallowed bookshelves. “sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you,” he chuckled, his voice warm and familiar. “i’ve been looking for you. don’t wanna go outside today?” 

you shrugged nonchalantly, your gaze flickering back to your textbooks as you struggled to maintain your composure in the wake of jake’s sudden appearance. you knew he was going to press you further according to the concern etched into the lines of his brow. 

“what’s wrong?” jake’s voice was soft, tinged with genuine concern as he searched your eyes for answers. frustration welled up within you like a tide. there was a large tangled web of emotions and doubts within your core. you wanted to reach out to him and tell him everything’s fine and that you can’t wait to go to his house for the long weekend. but then the other part of you forced you to remember heejin’s warning and nakyoung’s glare. part of you wondered how many other signs you had missed about jake and how the rest of the school viewed him. 

"i'm just trying to focus on my schoolwork," you muttered, your words tinged with bitterness as you struggled to contain the torrent of emotions threatening to spill forth. "Not all of us have rich families that can pay off our pasts to go to school here." 

the words hung heavy in the air between you, the silence that followed echoing with the weight of unspoken truths. And as jake's incredulous gaze bore into you with an intensity that left you feeling exposed and vulnerable, you knew in that moment that you had crossed a line that should have never been crossed. 

with a scoff of disbelief, jake rose abruptly from his seat, his footsteps echoing like thunder against the polished floors of the library as he stormed out into the hallway, leaving you alone amidst the oppressive silence of your own making. And as the heavy wooden door slammed shut behind him, the finality of his departure reverberated through the cavernous space. you tried to ignore the aching feeling in your chest and the stares of the other students as you focused on your biology work, hoping that genetic engineering would distract you for the rest of the night.

it had been days since you had last spoken to jake in the library. he never showed up for your english literature class, the desk beside you always being left empty. the lace in heejin’s aura had seemingly drifted away, but you could still feel kim nakyoung’s glare on you during every meal. 

tonight, you were attempting to study in your dorm room. heejin had left for her debate club a few minutes ago, leaving you alone in the grand room. it was dark outside thanks to fall having the sun set so early. the orange lamp on your bedside table was the only light in your room. 

there was a soft knock on the door, pulling you away from your thoughts. assuming it was minju, you started to call out, "heejin's not here, min--" but the words froze in your throat as you swung open the door to find jake standing there instead. His school uniform was partially a mess like usual , a few strands of his hair falling delicately over his eyes. There was a faint smile on his lips, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

you stood there in your pink pajamas, feeling suddenly self-conscious under jake's gaze. "Hi," he said softly, and you echoed the greeting, your voice barely above a whisper. The atmosphere was tense, awkward, and you could sense that jake was not his usual self. he was more like the jake you had known in the beginning of the year. He seemed distant, almost standoffish, as if he didn't want to be there talking to you or anybody.

jake sighed, lifting his head to meet your gaze fully. "I want to talk about what happened in the library the other day," he admitted, his tone hesitant. 

you crossed your arms defensively over your chest, your resolve hardening, "There's nothing to talk about," you replied curtly.

but jake persisted, his voice growing slightly firmer. "Yes, there is," he insisted. "I want to know what made you so…” 

“so what?”

“distant. You wouldn't even look at me." His words struck a nerve, and you felt a pang of guilt gnawing at your insides. You knew you should keep your distance from the boy that was standing only a meter in front of you. 

jake's voice was filled with a raw vulnerability that caught you off guard. "Y/n, please, talk to me," he pleaded, his gaze searching yours for some semblance of understanding. "The past few days have been harder than I would've ever thought."

you glanced up at him, surprised by his confession. His words hung heavy in the air, a stark contrast to his usual confident demeanor. "I'm not... I'm not really used to apologizing or, whatever," he continued, his voice wavering slightly. "I don't care for it. But with you, I'm here trying, okay? I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry... And I'm sorry I left like that in the library."

you bit down on your lip, the weight of his words sinking in. A part of you wanted to push him away, to maintain the distance that you knew was necessary. But another part of you longed to open up, to let him in like your soul so strongly craved. "Just tell me what's wrong, and I can fix it," jake pleaded, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and desperation.

"but that's the thing, there's nothing that you can fix," you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper. jake tilted his head in confusion, his gaze searching yours for answers. You could tell that he genuinely wanted to understand, that he was wanting to listen. "We're just... different, jake," you continued, your words careful and measured. "We live different lives, and we can't pretend that we don't. While we're alone, we're still in reality. And... and I don't know what you're doing or thinking." The weight of your insecurities hung heavy in the air, the silence stretching between you like a taut wire.

"what do you mean?" jake asked, his voice soft and gentle. You felt the tension building within you and with a shaky breath, you forced yourself to voice all your thoughts.

"I mean, why would you want to hang around with me when the whole school is in love with you?" you admitted, the words tumbling out in a rush. 

jake's tense posture softened as he stepped closer to you, his movements deliberate yet filled with an underlying urgency. You fought the instinct to step back, the proximity between you sending a surge of electricity coursing through your veins. His eyes, once distant and guarded, now bore into yours with a raw intensity that left you breathless.

"y/n, i don't care that we come from different worlds or wealths or whatever," he confessed, his voice a gentle caress that washed over you like a soothing balm. "none of that matters when I'm with you. I feel like when I'm with you, that's reality, and everything else is just a fantasy forced upon me when you're not around." you felt a lump form in your throat as you listened to him, the weight of his confession settling upon your shoulders like a heavy cloak. 

"i've never felt like this with anyone," he continued, his voice trembling with emotion. "every time I talk to anyone else, it's like all they see is my family and my wealth. but you... you see me for who I am, even though I don't even know who I am."

the vulnerability in his words mirrored the vulnerability in yourself, the walls you had built around yourself slowly crumbling because of his sincerity. you were acutely aware of the golden lights cascading down upon you both, casting a halo of warmth around you. 

"I don't care about what the rest of the school thinks of me," jake declared, his voice unwavering in its conviction. "I only care about what you think of me."

“i, i don’t know what to say,” you tell him honestly. 

jake shrugs, “you don’t have to say anything, just please don’t go so distant on me again, i hate it.” 

“i won’t,” you whispered, the words barely a breath in the stillness of the night. With a surge of courage, you reached out and gently clasped his hand in your own, the warmth of his touch sending ripples of warmth cascading through your soul. "Just promise me something." 

“anything.”

"promise me that you'll always be honest with me," you said, your voice trembling with emotion. “promise that you’ll never hide anything from me and that you’ll always show me the real you, no matter what.” 

jake's gaze softened as he squeezed your hand gently, a silent vow passing between you in the hallowed silence of the night. "i promise," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

as the golden hues of the hallway bathed us in their soft glow, you glanced down at jake's hand, noticing something shiny nestled within his grasp. "what's that?" you asked, curiosity tingling in the air between us. jake's eyes widened in realization, as if he had forgotten he was even holding anything at all. with a sudden movement, he extended his hand towards you, revealing the gleaming cover of a book.

in his palm lay a copy of "The Great Gatsby," its cover adorned with intricate gold detailing that simmered in the dim light. "this is for you," jake said, his voice soft yet sincere. "i remember you saying you ruined your copy, so you can have mine."

you were stunned, your fingers trembled slightly as you reached out to accept the gift he offered. you traced the embossed letters on the cover, marveling at the beauty of its design. “thank you so much jake,” you whispered with gratitude, “ thank you, thank you.” 

unable to contain your excitement, you threw your arms around his neck, the warmth of his embrace enveloping you like a cocoon of comfort. his arms instinctively encircle your waist, drawing you closer until there's barely any space left between you. in that moment, everything just feels right. 

pulling away from him, “do you wanna come in?” 

jake agrees, knowing that heejin won’t be there to give him any glares. he follows you into your room and sits on your bed like he had before, looking around. he takes notice that you’re not in your uniform, but your matching pj set and smiles to himself as how cute you look. you take no notice, too enthralled by your new book. you sit it on your desk and sit beside jake on your bed. 

“really, thank you so much for my book, it means so much to me,” you tell him, your hair slightly messy over your shoulders. jake reaches out and twists a fallen strand around his finger gently before dropping it. 

“it’s no problem, i wanted to give you something,” he tells you honestly. 

“but why?” 

jake shrugs, “because i like you.” 

“you like me?” you question him, not believing your ears. jake nods, biting his lip playfully as he takes in your reaction. he notices the pretty red start to form on your cheeks, your eyes darting from his face to your hands in your lap. 

before jake could stop himself he’s breaking the small distance between you two and gently cupping your chin with his fingers for you to look at him. you open your mouth to speak but instead they are met with jake’s lips. the kiss is gentle, confident but shy at the same time. you’ve never kissed anyone before, let alone a boy who was as beautiful as jake sim. 

you both pull away, your lips slightly wet from the kiss. 

“sorry, i-” jake starts but you cut him off with another kiss. this time your eyes properly close as your lips meet. your hands shyly wrap around his shoulders to pull him into a deep kiss. 

jake pushes you down onto your bed so your head is on your pillow. his body is overtop yours and you’re trying to not panic and only focus on his lips that are moving against yours. his hips roll down into yours and it’s then that you realize he’s turned on. you squeak at the thought and jake instantly pulls away. 

“what? are you okay?” jake’s eyes are filled with concern as he looks down at you, “did i hurt you, i’m so-”

your hand covers his before he goes on a ramble, “no it’s okay. you didn’t hurt me it’s just…” you trail off, your hand falling from his face. his hands are quick to catch yours.” 

“it’s just what, love?” 

the name  makes the tips of your ears red, “it’s just that, i’m a virgin, i’ve never done anything before.” 

you feel jake’s body relax over yours and he sits up on your bed, you subconsciously follow him up so you’re both sitting again. “that’s okay, y/n, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to pressure you or anything. we can do something else, we could read the great gatsby!”

you smile at his politeness, but now that you’ve learnt what it feels like for jake sim to be on top of you, you find it hard to want to do anything else. 

“i mean,” you start, a playful, shy smile growing on your face as you look at him, “i could still make you feel good.” 

your wide, innocent eyes made jake’s pants tighten. he says nothing as he reaches out and traces your plush lips with his thumb. without thinking, you press your lips over his thumb, letting it enter your mouth. you kept eye contact with him, instantly watching his eyes darken. 

“you wanna suck me off, love?” 

you whine around his thumb, your way of saying yes. 

jake pulls his thumb from your mouth, “get on your knees.” 

you almost clumsily scramble to the floor of your dorm. jake’s legs are spread out for you to sit perfectly in between them. you look up at him, feeling so small as you wait for him to let you touch him. 

“you don’t have to if you don’t want to, y/n.”

“i want to, jake.” 

“you’ll tell me if you want to stop, right? if you get uncomfortable we can stop.” 

“yes, jake.” 

jake only sweetly nods to you before he leans down and presses a quick kiss to your lips. his hands unbutton his uniform pants, pulling the fabric down so only his boxers cover his cock. you lay your cheek against his bare thigh, watching as his hand traces over his bulge. you looked so mesmerized by his actions it made a shiver go down his spine. 

“you sure you wanna?” jake asked, his voice a bit shaky. you nod your head and jake pulls out his cock so it’s visible to you both. it’s hard, a the tip is slightly leaking with precum. you can see how the tip was starting to turn pink. “hold it like how i am, you can squeeze it a bit if you want.” 

you nod again, your hand reaching up and replacing his at the base of his cock. it’s warm in your hand and you try to bite back the nerves you feel as you try not to embarrass yourself in front of him. 

at jake’s instruction, you start to move your hand up and down his cock. your movements are slow as you try to navigate what you were doing. 

“you can spit on your hand, make it glide better.” jake nods at you. you do as he suggests, your lips pucking before letting saliva drop down onto your palm. when your hand meets his cock again, you can instantly tell that it’s a lot easier to move with it. 

you hear jake let out a heavy breath as he watches you stroke his cock a bit faster now that there’s some lubricant. he watches your face so focused on making him feel good. so determined to make him cum. 

you suddenly squeezed him tighter as you move up to his tip, your fingers meeting his slit slightly. he reminds himself to keep his hips still as your hand fucks his cock. “fuck,” he lets out a curse as he watches your innocent fingers circle his cock. 

“you can,” jake swallows harshly, “you can put your mouth on it, when you’re ready. just, as much as you want.” 

you nodded up at him, your eyes wide with curiosity. your hand stops moving as you put his tip in your mouth, your tongue meeting the underside of his cock. jake’s hands dug into your comforter on both sides of his body as he watched your little mouth take in his cock. 

“a-and you can uh, hollow out your cheeks, like-” you cut jake off as you do as he says. you begin to suck with the little amount of cock you had in your mouth. your hand staying at the base of his cock. “fuck, just like that, love.” 

you continue to fit more and more in your mouth the more comfortable you got at the feeling. hollowing your cheeks out and being careful of your teeth. the salty pre cum fills your tastebuds as you look up at jake, whose bottom lip is between his teeth. his eyebrows are knitted together as he looks down at you. he’s trying so hard to keep his composure so he doesn’t push you too far during your first time. 

your hand continued to jerk the base of his cock as your tongue started to explore the veins on his shaft. you took your time, but jake still felt like he was in heaven. the sight of your glassy eyes and swollen lips around his cock made him more aroused than ever before. 

“god, you look so beautiful y/n, like an angel.” he compliments you, his chest slowly heaving as he watches you work his dick with your mouth. 

jake grabs the base of his cock, your hand and mouth sliding away, a small pout on your face as you look up at him. 

“open,” jake says and you do, sticking your tongue out slightly. jake then slaps the tip of his cock against your plush, wet lips, smearing the tip in your saliva. he groans to himself at the thought of your face covered in his cum. “want more?” 

“yes please,” 

jake only smirks before he starts to ease his cock back into your mouth, letting you close your lips around it before he pulls his hips back again, fucking your mouth. he forces himself to go slow as he continues to thrust into your mouth. he feels his tip just hit the back of your throat before he pulls back. you let out a moan around his cock, the vibrations making his groan out. you were being so good for him. 

“it feels so good, love. you’re gonna make me cum.” he tells you honestly. you can only moan more around his cock. your mouth is so warm and wet and you’re letting him fuck more and more into your mouth. there’s spit pooling at the corners of your mouth. 

jake could feel the coil in his stomach about to burst as he looks into your innocent eyes, your only goal is to make him cum. 

he pulls out of your mouth, his hand starts quickly jerking his cock covered in your saliva, “s-so close.” 

“no!” you tell him, “want you to cum in my mouth.”

“o-okay, open your mouth again for me, baby.” 

jake struggled to keep his eyes open as he slid his pulsating cock right back into your mouth. his hands rested gently on the back of your head as his hips slid his cock in and out of your mouth.  it didn’t take long for him to cum, your tongue enticing him to cum way quicker than he would’ve liked. 

“oh fuck!” jake moans out, “fuck, y/n, i’m cumming, i’m cumming.” 

jake released into your mouth. the liquid shooting right into your throat as you swallowed around him. his grip in your hair was tense as he came. you swallowed the best you could, the taste was new. 

when he was done, jake was breathing heavy. he let go of you, falling back onto his elbows, his legs still spread for you to sit between. 

“was i good?” you ask him genuinely. 

jake only smiled at you, telling you to come lay beside him in your bed. you rushed to lay by his side. your throat raw and lips swollen as jake pulled you in for a kiss, tasting his own cum. 

“you were perfect, love.”

as the days passed, you and jake found yourselves drawn to each other like magnets. despite your lingering doubts of his intentions with you, you couldn’t deny the comfort and warmth you felt in his presence. you also craved the feeling of his lips on yours again since the night he gave you great gatsby. 

you spent your fall afternoon lazing on the bench together (sitting much closer than before) and studied together. the weight of his presence beside you reassured you that you weren’t the only one to feel this connection. the walls between you and jake seemed to crumble. 

you took turns reading the pages of the great gatsby. sometimes he would rest his heavy head on your lap as you read, but you didn’t mind the weight. other times he would read to you with your head on his shoulder, watching the words on the pages as he spoke them. 

this time, you chose to be more careful about who saw you with jake. you didn’t need any more snarky comments from heejin before bed. and you enjoyed being more accepted into the friend group with her, minju and lia. 

kim nakyoung would still glare at you if you walked past her in the halls, and at every meal you were sure that her eyes were on you the entire time. you weren’t sure if it was because she just hated you, or if she knew that you and jake were still close. 

this weekend was thanksgiving, and you were so looking forward to getting away from all the prying eyes of sterling. though you were anxious to see what jake’s apparent magnificent house looks like, you were scared. his family was in a much higher class than you would ever be in your life. you were nervous to find out what his family would think of you. you were continuously asking minju tips on how to properly use each utensil and napkin during dining hours. 

you made sure to stay in your dorm until you were sure your friends had left for the whole weekend. you had told them that you were staying in sterling for the weekend because your parents were out of town for the holiday (which was partly true). you just didn’t want to hear any more warning about how a girl like you shouldn’t be hanging out with a boy like jake. 

when jake knocked on your dorm room door, you felt your hands start to shake and your heart pick up pace. when you swung open the door, jake was stood there in loose beige pants, a white button up shirt with a brown belt. his hair was styled into a proper slick back for once. you gulped as you looked down at your outfit. you tried to pick out an outfit that seemed well put together, but you could only wear your white, loose pants and a square neck blue tee that you had borrowed from lia. 

“you ready to go?” jake tilts his head at you, his usual smile on his face when he asks, 

“uh, yeah, sure.” you reply and swing your bag over your shoulder, following him down the halls. 

the whole ride to jake’s family estate you felt like you were on the verge of throwing up. jake had tried to reassure you that everything would be fine and that you would totally fit in with his family. but the hour-long drive to an apparent mansion while sitting in the backseat of a sleek black, retro cadillac with a chauffeur who referred to jake as “mr sim” didn’t really enforce the reassurance. 

As the Cadillac glided up the long gravel driveway, the imposing black gate swung open with a quiet hum, granting passage into a world of opulence and grandeur. A sense of anticipation tingled in the air as you caught your first glimpse of jake's family estate, an expansive mansion that seemed to rise majestically from the earth.

The mansion, a symphony of beige and brown hues, sprawled before you, its grandeur evident in every detail. Numerous large windows adorned its façade, offering glimpses into the luxurious interior beyond. At the center of the circular driveway stood a magnificent fountain, its waters glistening in the sunlight like liquid diamonds.

Two towering oak trees flanked the entrance to the estate, their branches reaching skyward as if to touch the heavens. Delicate white detailing adorned the edges of the house, adding a sense of refinement to its stately exterior. 

the meticulously manicured grounds surrounding the mansion were a sight to behold. the grass was a vibrant shade of green that stretched out in all directions like a lush carpet. it was the greenest grass you had eer seen. the hedges that encircled the property were perfectly rectangular. 

As you gazed out the car window at the breathtaking sight before you, a sense of awe washed over you. The estate was more magnificent than anything you had ever imagined, a testament to the wealth and power of the Sim family. 

you had no idea what you had gotten yourself into for the next five days. 

you follow jake out of the car, briefly thanking the chauffeur before heading up the steps to the mansion. as jake swings open the large door, the grand foyer of his family estate fills your eyes. the house is so beautiful, so clean, so white and so fancy. 

an elegant figure enters the room and stands before you. you recognize her from the pictures you had seen of the sim family. it was jake’s mother’s sonya, who seems to simply exude grace and sophistication by just standing there. she is dressed in a stunning ensemble, with a tailored silk blouse and sleek pencil skirt. you can’t take your eyes off of all the exquisite jewelry that’s hung off her neck, earlobes and wrists. 

with a warm smile, sonya extends her hand in greeting, her eyes sparkling with genuine warmth as she welcomes you. “it’s so great to meet you. i’m glad jake had made a friend besides heeseung,” 

“mom!” jake’s slightly flustered appearance from his mother’s welcome makes you chuckle. 

“it’s so nice to meet you too,” you smile back at sonya, “thank you for letting me stay this weekend.” 

sonya scoffs, “oh it’s no problem! any friend of jake’s is welcome here!” 

two women, who could only be maids for this household, enter the room dressed in crisp uniforms. their demeanor is respectful and attentive and they can hardly look at sonya in the eye. they inquire about her luggage, and sonya instructs them with poise, “the second bedroom in the west wing please.” her authority is evident as she addresses the staff. 

you offer sonya and the maids a grateful nod, expressing your appreciation for their hospitality and aid as you follow jake and the maids up the grand staircase. the mansion smells like fresh flowers and polished wood. your eyes marvel at the exquisite chandelier that’s hung from the ceiling as you step closer to it on the stairs. 

the maid with your luggage stops in front of a door with a golden handle and pushes it open. th eroom inside takes your breath away. the walls are painted in a soft, creamy hue, contracted by dark wooden paneling and trim. a smaller crystal chandelier hands from the center of the ceiling. the bed is massive, with a canopy of sheer, flowing fabric and the pillows look like you’ll sink right in. 

across from the bed there’s a fireplace framed by an intricately carved mantle, adorning an arrangement of fresh flowers. above the mantle, an ornate mirror reflects the room’s grandeur. to the left of the fireplace, on the far wall from the door, there’s two tall windows, draped in heavy silk curtains that allow you to view the estate’s immaculate gardens. a writing desk and a chair sit nearby, but you can’t take your eyes off of the backyard through the window. 

the maid places your bag neatly by the wardrobe before leaving you with a polite smile. you stand in awe as you try to take in where you are. 

jake’s voice pulls you from your reveries, “what do you think?” 

you turn to find him standing in the doorway, a small amused smile playing on his lips. 

“this room is so beautiful, jake,” you say, shaking your head in disbelief, “i think i should sleep outside.” 

jake chuckles, the sound familiar and comforting in this unknown palace, “you’re not sleeping outside. come on, follow me.” 

curious, you follow him out of the room and down another hallway. he stops in front of a pair of double doors and pushes them open to reveal another stunning room. this one is larger than your own and even more impressive. it’s adorned with dark wood and deep blue accents. a large, comfortable looking bed dominates the space, flanked by elegant bedside tables. instead of having windows on the far wall, he has a set of glass doors that are open to a balcony. 

“this is my room,” jake says to you with his arms spread open, he walks backwards to his bed and flops down on his back. you stand in the doorway, not being able to take in that this is a bedroom. jake laughs at your shocked expression, “you can look around if you want, it’s nothing special.” 

usually you would mock him for calling a room like this ‘nothing special’, but you’re too in shock. slowly you start to walk around his room. there’s bookshelves from floor to ceiling adorned with books– some new and some old. the desk looks like it’s never been used and the pens and books on it are just there for decoration. on one of the bedside tables is a picture of heeseung and jake, both of whom are definitely younger and smiling. you place the framed picture back on the table and head to the balcony, the silk curtains of the doors are gently flowing from the fall breeze outside. It seems so much warmer at jake’s estate than it does at sterling academy. 

“this place is like something out of a dream, jake.” you tell him, not looking behind you on the bed as you stare out into the backyard. 

“well i’m glad that you like it. i want you to feel comfortable here this weekend. it means a lot to me that you’re here.” 

you turn at his sincerity, walking to his bed and sitting down on the edge beside his laying figure. “i’m happy to be here, thank you for inviting me.” 

jake’s eyes take in your sitting figure as he looks up at you, the daylight from the opened balcony windows cascades like an aura around you. his head tilts when a thought pops into his head, “i’ve never had a girl in my room before.” 

you scoff and get up from his bed, choosing to walk around his room and examine more of the decorations, “yeah right, i’ve literally seen girls exit your room before.” 

jake sits up behind you, “that’s different, i’ve never had a girl here before.” 

your finger slowly brushes over the back of one of the older books, taking in the provided information. you choose to ignore the small butterfly in your stomach fighting it’s way up into your heart as you glance over your shoulder and lightly smile at him. 

after jake had toured you around the majority of the mansion (you were shocked when he told you there’s still wings on the east side that he could show you), a bell rang for dinner. you quickly washed up, trying to not get lost in the halls as you found jake again and he led you down to the dining room. 

The dining room is a masterpiece of elegance and grandeur, dominated by a long, dark wood dining table that gleams under the soft glow of the chandeliers above. The table stretches nearly the length of the room, surrounded by a multitude of high-backed chairs, each upholstered in rich, burgundy fabric that complements the deep wood tones.

Sonya sits at the far end of the table, jake leads you to the seats on her right, pulling out a chair for you before taking the one beside you. Across from you sit two women who are introduced as jake’s aunts, their refined manners and sophisticated appearance adding to the room’s stately atmosphere.

As you settle into your seat, the maids glide into the room, their movements precise and graceful. They begin to serve dinner on fancy white plates edged with a delicate silver lining. The aroma of the dishes is enticing, a blend of familiar and exotic scents that hint at the culinary delights to come. Servers move around the table, filling glasses with ice-cold water that glistens in the crystal goblets. One offers you wine, but you politely decline, opting instead to stick with water for the evening.

Your eyes are drawn to the array of utensils flanking your plate. There are so many forks, knives, and spoons, all silver and polished to a mirror-like shine. You hesitate, unsure of which one to use, but a quick glance at jake gives you a clue. He casually picks up the second largest fork, and you follow his lead, hoping to navigate the formal setting without a misstep.

Dinner proceeds smoothly, with Sonya leading the conversation, her voice carrying a warm, welcoming tone. The aunts join in, their voices blending in harmonious conversation that flows effortlessly from one topic to another. You listen attentively, occasionally contributing when you feel comfortable, and you’re relieved to find that jake’s family is interested in getting to know you.

jake’s presence beside you is a constant source of comfort. He offers you encouraging smiles and quiet reassurances, subtly guiding you through the more intricate aspects of the formal dinner. You realize that while the setting may be unfamiliar, the genuine hospitality and kindness from jake makes it easier to feel at ease.

As the first course is served, you take a moment to appreciate the effort and care that has gone into every detail of the evening. The food is exquisite, each bite a testament to the skill of the chefs. Despite the grandeur of your surroundings, you begin to feel more at ease.

“so y/n,” jake’s aunt rose asks, “what do your parents do for work?”

you notice jake tense beside you, glancing at you as if telling you that you don’t have to answer. but you ignore him and continue, “my dad’s a head miner and my mom’s an artisan.” you notice jake’s aunts pause their eating at your answer, glancing at each other before smiling at you with what you couldn’t notice was fake. 

“what type of artisan is your mother?” sonya asks, her voice normal as she glances at you over her silver spoon as he puts more tomato soup in her mouth. 

“pottery.” you state with a smile, thinking of all the beautiful dishes and vases your mother has made back home. 

you’ve never had such good food before, and you thought the food at sterling was to die for. the chef seemed pleased that you enjoyed his food so much when he came out to check that everything was alright. 

“it’s like the girl is starving,” aunt evelyn joked under her breath to her sister. 

you could tell jake also heard his aunt since he placed his hand on your knee under the table. you glanced at him with a smile and you made a mental note to eat more slowly. 

when the servers came to clear all the empty dishes, you couldn’t help but notice that every other plate still had some food on it while yours was basically licked clean. the server even seemed shocked when you gave her your plate, but hid it with a quick smile. 

when the evening winds down and teh estate begins to settle into the night tranquility, a maid helps prepare your room for bedtime. she offers to run a bath for you. politely, you decline, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the attentiveness and luxury that surrounds you. 

jake lingers in the doorway of your room once the maid leaves. his presence a comforting anchor in the unfamiliar environment. his fingers brush lightly over your hair when you walk up to him in your doorway, sending a shiver down your spine. “you can ask them for anything you need.” he says softly, referring to the maids. 

“i’m not used to that,” you admit, shaking your head with a faint smile. 

jake chuckles, the sound rich and genuine, “i wish i could live as you for one day.” 

“how can you say that after living here, like this? i’ve only been here a few hours and i don’t ever want to go back.” 

his expression shifts, his brow furrowing, “don’t say that. your parents do everything for you and love you.” 

you sigh, feeling the weight of his words, “yeah i know. it just feels so different being here. good different.” 

jake’s smile returns, “i’m glad to here that. tomorrow we’ll have more fun.” 

he leans down and kisses your forehead, the gesture tender and filled with affection. he glances both ways down the hall before pressing his lips to yours ina soft lingering kiss that makes your heart race, “i wish you could sleep in my bed with me,” he whispers the words a quiet confession that sends a thrill through you. 

you push him away gently, your cheeks warm, “night jake. see you tomorrow.” 

the last thing you see before you swing the door closed was a pout on jake’s lips that matched his puppy dog expression. 

as you lay down in the bed, which feels like it belongs in a luxury hotel, you can’t help but feel a sense of wonder and displacement. the room is exquisitely decorated, with plush pillows and silky sheets that cocoon you in comfort. yet, there’s an undercurrent of unfamiliarity that keeps you from fully relaxing. 

the first night at jake’s your dreams transported you to a fantastical realm where you are a princess in a tower. the tower is grand, but there’s a sense of foreboding as darkness approaches. crows circle the tower, their cries eerily mimicking the voices of your parents, disapproving of your decisions for the kingdom. the dissonance leaves you feeling uneasy as you toss and turn throughout the night.

You wake to the soft, insistent knocking on your door. A server's gentle voice breaks the morning silence, "It's time to wake up for breakfast, miss. Guests will be arriving soon." You blink away the remnants of your dream, the vivid images of towers and crows fading as you return to the reality of the opulent room.

"Thank you," you murmur, stretching and rubbing your eyes. The server nods and leaves you to get ready. You take a moment to admire the luxurious surroundings before stepping into the adjoining bathroom, where everything gleams with polished marble and gold fixtures. The shower is refreshingly warm, and as you wash away the night, you can’t help but think about the day ahead and the unfamiliar social dynamics you’ll have to navigate.

Dressed and ready, you make your way downstairs, the rich aroma of breakfast guiding you towards the dining room. The house is alive with the quiet bustle of staff preparing for the day. You reach the dining room to find jake, his mother Sonya, and his two aunts already seated at the grand dark wood table. The table is set with an array of dishes, from fresh fruit and pastries to more elaborate breakfast options.

jake looks up as you enter, his face lighting up with a welcoming smile. "Good morning," he says warmly, gesturing to the seat beside him. You sit down next to him, feeling a bit more at ease with his familiar presence beside you.

"Good morning, everyone," you greet them politely. Sonya and the aunts nod in acknowledgment, offering you polite smiles before returning to their conversation. Their voices are low and refined, discussing matters that feel both mundane and impossibly sophisticated.

jake leans in slightly, his hand brushing yours under the table in a small gesture of reassurance. "Did you sleep well?" he asks quietly, his eyes full of genuine concern.

"Yes, thank you," you reply, giving him a small smile.

As the servers deftly clear away the remains of breakfast, you notice Sonya and jake's aunts leaning in slightly towards one another, their conversation growing more animated. The topic shifts to the wine-tasting event planned for the evening.

"The Kims will be here soon," Sonya remarks, her tone carrying a note of anticipation.

At the mention of the Kims, you see jake tense beside you. His easygoing demeanor vanishes as he leans back in his chair, a frown forming on his face. "They are coming tonight?" he asks, his voice barely masking his displeasure.

Sonya's gaze sharpens as she looks at her son. "jake, be polite," she admonishes. "The Kims are our guests, and we will treat them with respect."

jake groans softly, but his mother's stern look silences any further protest. Sonya turns her attention back to her conversation, her voice a mix of reproach and resignation. "No groaning, jake. Now go get changed. We need to pick apples and pumpkins from the backyard for the event tonight."

You rise from the table alongside jake, curiosity piqued. As you both head up the grand staircase to change into warmer clothes, you can't help but ask, "Who are the Kims?"

jake sighs, running a hand through his hair as you walk down the hall together. "kim Nakyoung and her family. They come over for every holiday event. Her mother always manages to spill everyone's secrets at every year's wine-tasting event."

 you separate into your separate bedrooms, changing into warmer clothes. the maids had carefully laid out a set of fleece leggings and a vest on your bed. you glance at yourself in the mirror, feeling a mix of apprehension and curiosity. the outfit was perfectly tailored and undeniably expensive and feels both foreign and comfortable. you knock on jake’s door and find that he’s waiting for you and is similarly dressed in attire that screams opulence. He had noticed the tension in your expression when he had told you that nakyoung and her family would be joining tonight. 

“i need a smoke before we go,” jake speaks and you follow him out onto his balcony where he lights a cigarette, a familiar scent mingling with the crisp fall air. the view is breathtaking, but your mind is preoccupied. as he takes a drag, his voice is soft, “i won’t leave you alone with her,” referring to nakyoung, “just ignore her.” 

You nod, but the anxiety lingers. when his eyes look away from you you finally voice the question that's been gnawing at you since the first day of school. 

“What is it between you and Nakyoung?" you ask, your voice tentative.

jake exhales slowly, the smoke curling around him like a ghost. "She's always had a crush on me," he begins, glancing at you. "And it's partly our parents' fault. They used to joke when we were kids that we'd marry someday. It was never serious, but they wouldn't be against it either."

"Why don't you date her then?" you ask, genuinely curious.

He scoffs, pretending to gag. "I'm being serious, jake."

He sighs, flicking ash off the balcony. "Nakyoung doesn't know how privileged she is. She's so closed-minded to any world besides this one, and it always gets to her head. She has this fantasy of hers, where she's in a huge house, wealthy, with a husband and kids. More often than not, I'm the husband in her fantasy world."

You stay quiet for a moment, processing his words. "That doesn't sound too bad."

jake scoffs again, his frustration evident. "I don't want to be in some fantasy land where everything is the same every day and I have no choice. I've never had a choice my entire life."

The weight of his confession hangs between you. Your fingers reach out and overlap with his quietly, offering a silent gesture of understanding. jake looks down at your entwined hands, a small smile tugging at his lips despite the somber conversation.

“i don’t think i’d be able to handle this weekend without you. being here with you makes this hell… bearable.” his voice is low in the late morning. 

“don’t worry, i’m here for you, jake.” 

jake nods, his expression softening. "Thank you. For understanding, for being here. It means more than you know."For a moment, the world outside fades away, leaving just the two of you in this intimate bubble. jake leans closer, his voice a tender whisper, “race you to the pumpkin patch.” 

not a second later, he’s running away from you, through the mansion that you barely know, but you’re running right after him, not wanting him to win the race. 

the autumn air was crisp and filled with the scent of fallen leaves and ripe apples as you and jake wandered through the sprawling orchard in his backyard. the sim’s pumpkin patch was a sea of vibrant orange, each pumpkin a potential canvas for carving. beneath the multiple appeal trees, you plucked the reddest apples that you thought would taste the best. as the afternoon sun settled in, you shared a quiet moment as you counted the apples you both had placed into the wicker basket. jake’s warm hands brushed yours as he helped count. 

a maid welcomes you back into the house and servers come to help you carry the pumpkins and wicker basket inside to clean them. the guests will be arriving shortly for the wine tasting event, so the maid let’s you and jake go shower off the dirt from the pumpkins. 

the bathroom that jake pointed you towards was just as luxurious as the rest of the house. the marble tiles gleamed under the soft glow of ornate sconces. the shower had gold fixtures and a rain shower head that cascaded the water like  a gentle waterfall. shelves lines the inside of the shower with fancy soaps and shampoos that smelt like lavender and vanilla, similar to the way jake’s hair smelt. 

afterward, you wrapped yourself in a fluffy, white towel that felt like a cloud against your skin and headed towards your bedroom. you briefly forgot that anyone else lived here until you saw a dress laid out for you on the bottom of your bed. it’s fabric was simmering softly in the chandeliers light. your fingers trace the delicate embroidery, feeling the intricate patterns. it’s so beautiful you’re unsure if you should even dare to wear it. 

as you stand there, lost in thought with yoru eyes glued to the dress, the door creaks open and the maid from earlier enters, “you should wear it.” she says gently, a warm smile spreading across their face. 

“i don’t know if i can.” you shake your head looking between her and the dress. 

“of course you can, mrs sim picked it out just for you. thanksgiving is special.” her words and the sincerity in her voice persuades you, and with a deep breath you decide to wear it, embrace the sim lifestyle for thanksgiving. 

you step down the grand staircase, the dress flowing around you like a cascade of moonlight. each step seems to echo with the distant hum of conversation and laughter from the gathered guests below. the maid had worked her magic on your hair and makeup, making you feel somewhat pretty. 

at the bottom of the stairs, jake stands waiting, his suit impeccable and his presence relaxed as he talks with guests. when he turns and sees you, his reaction is immediate and heartfelt. his jaw slackens, eyes widening in awe as he takes in the sight of you. the room seems to fade away, leaving only the two of you in this moment of quiet reverence.

"you look so beautiful," he murmurs, his voice filled with genuine admiration as you reach him. the words send a warm flush to your cheeks, and you feel a surge of emotion in your chest.

his hand reaches out, steady and inviting, and you grasp it gratefully, feeling the strength and warmth of his touch. with his support, you navigate the last few steps, your heart beating a little faster with each one. as you reach the bottom, jake doesn't let go of your hand, instead, he gently squeezes it, grounding you in the midst of the swirling evening.

“oh my, y/n,” sonya speaks from beside you, “don’t you look gorgeous?” 

you blush harder realizing that all the unfamiliar guests were now looking at you, “thank you, thank you for letting me borrow this dress.” 

“it’s no problem at all, i think you look better in it than i ever would!” a few guests laugh at sonya’s joke and return to their own conversations, some of them following sonya into the living room. 

as everyone leaves the foyer, you spot kim nakyoung standing in the middle of the room. her sharp eyes narrowing as they land on you. she approaches you and jake with a predatory grace, her perfectly coiffed hair and designer gown a stark contrast to your own borrowed elegance. "what’re you doing here?" she asks, her tone dripping with disdain.

before you can respond, jake steps in smoothly. "i invited her," he says, his voice firm and unapologetic. his protective presence beside you is both comforting and reassuring.

nakyoung’s eyes flicker with something unkind, a smirk curling her lips. "why? she's just a scholarship girl. doesn’t really fit in with the rest of us, does she?" her words are like daggers, aimed to wound.

jake’s expression hardens, his gaze locking onto nakyoung's with a steely resolve. "she belongs here just as much as anyone else," he says, his voice steady. "maybe even more so, considering what she’s accomplished to be here."

her smirk falters, and she shoots you a venomous look before turning away. jake’s grip on your hand tightens slightly, a silent promise of support. he guides you towards where the rest of the guests are mingling, but before you can follow, nakyoung steps closer, her voice a low hiss in your ear.

"just because you're in that dress doesn't mean you should be," she whispers, her tone laced with malice. "you don’t belong here."

her words sting, but you take a deep breath, refusing to let them see you falter. jake, unaware of the exchange, leads you into the unfamiliar crowd. you straighten your shoulders, determined to prove nakyoung wrong. you do belong here, and tonight, you will not let anyone make you feel otherwise.

the wine tasting event is a whirlwind of activity, the room filled with laughter and animated conversations. the guests, draped in expensive attire, swirl their glasses and speak in a language of wealth and privilege that feels foreign to you. you smile and nod, pretending to understand the nuanced discussions. you understood why the sinwine tasting event would be a big hit around thanksgiving. 

you manage to avoid nakyoung and her family for the entirety of the night, but you could feel her daggered eyes on you when one of the guests would laugh at one of your jokes, or when you would attempt to help the servers. 

as the evening progresses and the guests begin to take their leave, , jake appears at your side, his eyes sparkling with mischief. before you can ask what he’s up to, he grabs your hand, and with a quick, conspiratorial glance around, he snatches a bottle of wine from a nearby table.

"come on," he whispers, his excitement contagious. he tugs you along, and you follow him, stifling your giggles as you both tiptoe through the hallways. his playful shushing to your noises makes you want to laugh louder. 

you reach his bedroom, and he pulls you through, continuing to his balcony. the night air is cool and refreshing, a welcome contrast to the warmth of the crowded ballroom. you step out onto the balcony, the fairy lights around the grand backyard were like a blanket of stars underneath you. 

“god, i couldn’t be in there any longer,” jake says, a playful grin on his face. he uncorks the bottle with a flourish, pouring the wine into two glasses he’d stashed nearby. the rich, fruity aroma fills the air, mingling with the scent of night-blooming flowers from the garden below. 

you clink glasses and sip the wine together. you feel a sense of belonging start to settle within you in this moment. jake’s presence, his easy laughter and the warmth in his eyes makes you feel like you do belong here, alongside the opulence and luxury. 

"thanks for this," you say softly, glancing at him. his gaze meets yours, and there’s a tenderness there that makes your heart flutter.

"anytime," he replies, his voice equally soft. “

"forget what nakyoung said," jake murmurs, his eyes earnest and comforting. "she’s just jealous."

you frown, looking away. "i don't know why kim nakyoung would be jealous of me."

jake tilts his head, studying you with a gentle smile. "what do you mean? you're smart, kind, and you have so much empathy she could never understand. you’re genuine, and that’s something money can’t buy."

his words warm your heart, and you want to believe him. yet, as you glance down at the simmering dress you wear, you can't shake the feeling of being an imposter, inadequate amidst the glittering world around you.

jake’s soft chuckle takes you from your insecure  thoughts. he reaches out and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “you know,” he begins, his voice low and hushed as if someone could hear you from up here, “that dress looks even more stunning in the moonlight. it’s like this dress was made just for you.” 

his words send warmth flooding through you, and you can't help but meet his gaze, your heart fluttering in anticipation. There's a pause, a charged silence between you, as if the air itself is holding its breath, waiting for what comes next. 

then, jake leans in closer, his breath mingling with yours for a second, to see if you would be opposed to kissing him this time. he closes the distance between you when he watches your eyelids close. his lips meet yours in a tender, lingering kiss. you melt into his embrace, you can’t help but feel like you belong attached to him like this. 

jake doesn’t hesitate to slide his hands down your sides, pulling you even closer so your chests are touching. he deepens the kiss with his plush lips. you’ve wanted to feel his lips on yours so passionately like this since the first day you saw him in the cafeteria. there’s so much want and need in the kiss that neither of you stop to breathe. so much want and need that’s built up since the first day of school when you heard all the rumours about jake. you never thought that you would be making out with him so aggressively and carefree on his grand estate’s balcony. 

“i wanna make you feel good, love.” jake pulls away, breathless. you instantly feel warmth spread on your cheeks, hopefully the night sky dims the colour a bit. jake chuckles at your shyness, “only if you’ll let me, only if you want.” 

you bite your lip as you look up at him, “i want you to.” 

jake’s fingers brush over the bottom of your jaw, “want me to what?” 

“i want you to make me feel good.” 

jake doesn’t hesitate to get on his knees, gently pushing you back so your back is leaning against the balcony’s railing. his warm hands slide up the sides of your legs, bunching your dress up at your waist. 

“wait, right here?” you ask him, look down at him. 

“just like this, i can’t wait any longer, i wanted you since you came down those stairs,” jake practically groans as he pulls down your panties to your ankles, his brown eyes darkening. “fuck, you’re already so wet.” 

you want to close your legs at the comment, becoming self conscious as jake is face to face with your pussy. you couldn’t even lie and say you weren’t since you were so turned on since you saw him. “what? you look good in your suit…” 

jake smiles at you at your compliment, “do i?” 

you can’t answer him since he starts to press feather light kisses onto your core. your fingers grip the balcony railing behind you, the cold metal a reminder that anyone could see you if they looked out a window or went outside. the thought briefly worries you until jake’s slips his tongue to easily in your folds. it pushed any worry out of your mind. 

“fuck, jake,” you mumble out as he continues to experimentally movie his tongue up and down your folds. 

your body was getting insanely hot in the autumn wind. you could feel jake’s warmth pressed against your entire core as your legs buckled around his neck and shoulders. jake kept his hands on your upper thighs to sturdy himself and you. 

“you taste better than i ever thought,” jake pulled away for a second to speak. you moan out in response, your eyebrows pulled together as you look at the boy between your legs. “thought about tasting your pretty pussy since the day i saw you.” 

suddenly you weren’t able to focus on anything except for the pleasure jake was giving you and the fact that he also wanted you the second he saw you in the cafeteria. the information only increased the pleasure you were feeling. 

your one hand slipped from the balcony and pushed itself into jake’s brown hair that you always wanted to brush out of his face. his smooth forehead now visible to the moonlight above your head. jake’s tongue starts to circle your clit, making you have to bite down on your lip to be quiet. you never thought a tongue could feel this good. 

your pussy feels so warm and wet and jake’s groans into your core only push you closer to the edge, never feeling anything like this before. you start to become a whimpering mess, trying to not let your moans become too loud. 

jake’s able to read your body language, the way your thighs start to tense and the grip you have on his hair tightening. he slips his index finger into your pussy, making you cry out way too loudly for your liking (jake only smiled). his finger starts at a steady pace, different from how fast his tongue and lips were moving on your clit. jake feels his chin and cheeks start to get soaked from your juices and his saliva, but it only makes his cock on his pants harden some more. 

jake starts to work in his middle finger alongside his index, pumping them faster to match the speed of his mouth. you start to clench around his digits, feeling your stomach start to tighten and your eyes struggle to remain on his from your feet. jake bends his fingers in all directions, focused on finding your g spot, focused on making you cum. 

“oh god!” you cry out, your hand in his hair coming to cover your mouth once his fingers find it. “fuck, jake.” 

“c’mon love, cum all over my mouth, wanna taste all of you so bad.” 

and it doesn’t take long for you cum so messily over his mouth. you’re shaking and moaning his name and curse words into your mouth. jake slides his fingers out of your pussy, sucking on them before he licks your core clean, wanting every drop. 

“good girl, y/n, did so good.” jake mumbles as he presses kisses into your legs, pulling up your panties and pulling down your dress as you try to regulate the pulsing between your legs and your breathing. 

jake stands up, his hands coming onto your waist as he puts his forehead against yours, grounding you as you are forced to look into his warm, playful eyes. “you okay?” 

“better than okay,” you tell him, a smile cracking onto your lips as you think about what just happened. 

“good,” jake smiles as he pecks your lips, making you taste yourself, “because you have to let me do that again.” you push him away gently, rolling your eyes at him. 

“i’m gonna go to the bathroom quickly,” you tell him.

jake grabs your hand as you try to move away from him and pulls you into him again, “okay but hurry back,” he presses his lips to yours. 

“i’ll try.” you kiss him again before walking into the bathroom that was attached to his bedroom. 

jake leans his back against the balcony railing, his elbows leaning on the railing behind him as he lights a cigarette in his mouth, he slaps the lighter closed and breathes in the nicotine as he glances into his room. it’s then, that he sees nakyoung standing in the small space of his bedroom door. a scowl on her usual pretty face. 

jake smirks as he takes the cig out of his mouth and exhales the smoke, almost chuckling to himself as he realizes nakyoung probably watched at least some of the show. 

he can almost hear nakyoung’s pout from across the room before she closes his bedroom door, leaving him alone to smoke in peace before you’re back.

on your third day at the sim estate, jake, his aunts, sonya, nakyoung and her family, and you gather near the stables at the back of the estate, excitement twinkling in your eyes. The sound of horses fills the air as you prepare to go horseback riding on the trails around their property. 

you think that finally, there’s something familiar here besides jake as you mount the dark brown horse. it’s a skill you’ve honed since you were a child, a passion passed down to you from your father. 

“you handle yourself in the saddle like a seasoned rider, y/n. it’s clear you have a talent with horses.” nakyoung’s father compliments, his voice deep and eyes impressed as he watches you on the horse. Nakyoung's glare is sharp enough to cut through steel, but you meet it with a serene smile, refusing to let her animosity dampen your spirits.

Curiosity sparks in Aunt Rose's eyes as she watches you effortlessly guide your horse, her voice warm with interest. "How did you come to be such a skilled rider?" she asks, genuine intrigue coloring her tone.

You share a soft laugh, the memories of your father's patient teachings flooding back. "My dad used to ride professionally when he was younger," you explain, a fond smile gracing your lips. "He taught me everything I know."

The revelation draws murmurs of admiration from the group, their eyes shining with newfound respect. jake's smile is like sunshine breaking through clouds, his pride in you evident as he watches you lead the horse down the trail. 

But amidst the praise and admiration, Nakyoung seethes with resentment, her jealousy palpable in the air.

later in the afternoon, sonya announced that it’s tea time for the ladies. The maids bustle about, their movements precise and purposeful as they prepare tea, delicate cups and saucers clinking softly against each other. The scent of freshly baked scones wafts through the air.

As the ladies gather in the day room, you take your seat among them, feeling a mixture of nerves and anticipation fluttering in your chest. It's like stepping onto a stage, completely improvising your role yet, the audience has no idea that you don’t know what you’re doing. you mimic their actions, delicately arranging a napkin on your lap and ensuring your elbows don’t rest on the table. 

the older women turn their attention to you, their questions gentle and probing as they seek to unravel the layers of your personality. sonya seems to genuinely curious about you and the warmth from jake’s aunts and nakyoung’s mother follow sonya. 

Even Nakyoung's mother, typically reserved and aloof, surprises you with her interest, her questions probing deeper, seeking to understand the challenges you've faced as a scholarship student. It's a stark contrast to Nakyoung's cold indifference. 

nakyoung’s presence fades into the background during tea time. no one bothers to pay her glaring self any attention since all eyes were on you. with all the polite conversation and shared laughter, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of belonging. that you belonged to a part of this world that once seemed so distant and unattainable. 

after dinner, jake and you slip away from the crowded dining room, seeking solace in the quiet beauty of the evening. Hand in hand, you stroll through the sprawling gardens, the cool night air whispering secrets as you walk. you notice an extra pep in your step as you walk, a smile never leaving your face as you look around the beautiful estate. 

You glance at jake, "I haven't had this much fun in so long," you confess, the words tumbling out before you can stop them.

jake's grin widens, his hand squeezing yours gently. "Good, because I feel the same way," he admits, his voice soft but sure. "I didn't think I could have fun while being home, but you make it fun. You make anywhere fun."

You playfully roll your eyes at his cheesy declaration, but your laughter rings out into the night, a melody of shared joy. jake tugs on your connected hands, pulling you closer until you're pressed against his chest. His lips meet yours in a sweet, tender kiss, you don’t worry about anyone catching you since you’re far out into the backyard. 

When you finally pull away, breathless and giddy, you rest your foreheads against each other, the moment stretching out like an eternity. jake's gaze is soft, his eyes searching yours with a depth of emotion that steals your breath away.

"I want you to sleep in my bed tonight," he murmurs, his voice low and intimate.

You hesitate, a flicker of worry crossing your mind at the thought of jake's mother discovering you together. "You know we can't do that," you remind him, your voice tinged with regret. "Your mom would be so mad if she found out."

But jake's grin turns mischievous, his eyes dancing with excitement. "Who says she'll find out?"

jake's grip is firm yet gentle as he pulls you up the grand staircase, his eyes locked on yours with a mix of determination and vulnerability. the hallway blurs as he leads you to his bedroom. the door closes behind you with a soft click, sealing you both in secrecy. he lays you down on his bed, the plush covers enveloping you as his gaze softens. 

jake leaned over top of you, his whole body pressed against yours. his hands gently reach out and cup your jaw and press soft kisses into your lips. your legs wrap around his waist, keeping his clothed crotch against your own. your fingers confidently combed through his hair, gently tugging at the nape of his neck. jake groans into your mouth, grinding his currently stiffening cock against your core. 

“let’s get this dress off you,” jake suggests, pulling the expensive fabric from your legs up and over your head, tossing it somewhere behind him. you’re left in your panties and bra and jake doesn’t hesitate to start presses kisses into the exposed part of your chest. 

you were beginning to feel exposed and insecure, never being so close to completely bare in front of anyone before. jake could sense your anxiety and gently held your wrists to your side, moving down your body with soft kisses, wanting to calm you, wanting every part of your body to be touched. 

jake hooks his finger into your panties once he reaches further down your body, “it’s okay if i take these off?” you nod in response, humming when he presses a kiss under your belly button. he pulls off the garments in a second, throwing them on the floor. 

before jake could press his fingers against your core, your grab his face in both of your hands, looking down at him between your thighs, “i want you, jake.” jake’s eyes softened in subtle confusion, “i want all of you, want you inside me.” 

jake swore he almost came right there in his pants. your usual shy self speaking such dirty words to him, only for him, “are you sure? we don’t have to if you aren’t ready.” 

you smile at his politeness, your fingers caressing the side of his soft face, “i’m sure, jake. i only want you.” 

jake leaps up to press his lips onto yours. this time, the kiss is much more feverish and lustful. his hands slide behind your back, unclasping your bra. you let it fall down your elbows, jake pulling it off your arms for it the meet the rest of your clothes. now you were completely bare for him, as he was still completely dressed. you let his eyes wander over your bare body, watching them fill with adoration and need. 

“fuck, you’re so, so beautiful.” jake groans, leaning down to suck on your neck. his teeth subtly biting the skin there, sucking on the spot, making you writhe your bare core against his. 

“i wanna see you, too, jake.” 

jake pulls away from you, unbuttoning his white shirt, button by button, until his bare core and shoulders are able to be seen. his skin is tan and strong, his muscles are visible and you can’t stop yourself from your hands reaching out and touching the skin. it’s so soft and the muscles are so hard. there’s no imperfections, just as you thought. 

jake slides two fingers inside of you, pushing them in and out, preparing you for his cock that is pulsating in his pants. you moan out his name when his thumb starts to press circles into your clit. your hips start to move in rhythm of his fingers, wanting them deep inside of you. 

jakes other hand was massaging your breasts, tweaking your nipples in between his thumb and forefinger. jake knew exactly where your g spot was, his fingers making sure to hit there everytime he thrusted them inside of you. you were starting to squirm underneath him, the pleasure becoming too much too quick. the excitement of what was going to come was turning you on so much. 

“close already, love?” jake asks, taking your shaking breaths as a sign. 

“a-almost there,” you whined out to him, your hand grabbing his shoulder for support. 

“that’s a good girl, cum on my fingers, then, wanna see you cum,” 

jake continued to hit your g spot at the quick pace he had set. his thumb moving on your clit quicker and quicker. your moans getting louder, forgetting that any one else was nearby. forgetting that it wasn’t just you and jake. 

with a call of his name, you come undone all over his fingers just like he wanted. he watches as your jaw drops, a quiet cry escaping as the pleasure rushes throughout your body. 

“fuck, you’re so hot,” jake says, pulling his fingers out of you and immediately pressing his lips onto yours. he makes out with you as you come down from your high, your body coming back to its senses. your hands pull on his locks, wanting him as close to you as possible. 

you pull away from him, “want you inside of me, jake, please, need it so bad.” 

“fuck, okay, okay, baby.” jake nods and starts to pull down his trousers, his boxers going with so his erect cock is springing upwards. 

before jake could lay down again, you push him onto his back, his head in his pillow. you swing your leg over his crotch so your bare cores are just over top of each other. 

“are you sure, y/n?” jake asked you, his hands on your waist to still you from moving any more. 

you nodded, your hands resting on his lower abdomen, “i want you, jake. i’m sure.” 

you slide you hand in between your bodies, holding his cock in one hand to line it up with your pussy. slowly, you start to sink down onto his cock. your core is so wet from your previous orgasm that the stretch isn’t as bad as you thought it would be for the first time. you both moan at the feeling of jake’s cock stretching you out. jake’s lip is caught inbetween his lips as he watches himself bottom out in you. 

you took a deep breath once he was snug inside of you. both of you waiting for the uncomfortable feeling to subside. jake started running his hands up and down your bare thighs, distracting you from it. 

“okay,” you mostly told yourself once the feeling was gone. the pain had turned into pleasure. 

jake on the other hand swore he was in heaven. the girl he was enamored with was above him, starting to bounce on his cock. his hand slid down to start rubbing circles on your clit again. you let out a loud moan, the oversensitivity from your previous orgasm was making this feel so much better. your senses were heightened as you continued to move up and down his cock. your walls tight around his cock. 

you could feel every vein of his cock inside of you, your juices mixing with his precum. jake could feel your walls start to pulse around him. your elbows on his stomach started to buckle as your orgasm was approaching quickly. 

“i’m gonna cum, jake.” you cry out, your eyebrows pulled together as you look down at him. 

“please cum, love, wanna see you cum. i’m so close,” 

you let out curses mixed with his name as you cum for a second time that night. your hips moving around his cock quickly as all the nerves in your body tense with pleasure. 

“fuck baby, that’s it, that’s it!” jake calls out, groaning as his grip on your hips tightens. his own orgasm only a few thrusts behind yours. his cum shoots inside of you, coating your walls with his white release. both of you moan at the feeling of you being so full. 

you let yourself drop on top of jake. your head in his neck and shoulder as he cock softens inside of you. both of your chests are heaving against each other as you try to catch your breaths. 

jake brushes your hair out of your face so he can see you, a laugh leaving his lips as he sees you. you can’t help but smile back at him, tiredness washing over you. 

“i think that was the hardest i ever came,” jake speaks his mind to you. 

“really?” 

“definitely.” 

you smash your lips against his, wondering when you’ll ever feel this good, again.

as the day of thanksgiving unfolds, sonya surprises you with a thoughtful gesture, insisting on taking you to get your nails done and insisting on paying. 

As you gaze down at your newly manicured nails, a sense of awe washes over you. They've never looked more beautiful. For the first time, your nails resemble those of the other girls at Sterling Academy.

Later that evening, as you prepare for Thanksgiving dinner, you find yet another beautiful dress laid out at the bottom of your bed. The fabric simmers in the soft light, the intricate design whispering of elegance and sophistication. Without hesitation, you slip into the dress, the smooth fabric draping over your curves like a second skin.

There's no trace of self-consciousness as you admire yourself in the mirror, the reflection staring back at you, a vision of confidence and grace. In this moment, you feel a sense of empowerment, as if this dress was made for you. As you take one final glance in the mirror, you can't help but smile.

As you settle down beside jake at the Thanksgiving dining table, the atmosphere is alive with the sounds of laughter and conversation. The table is laden with a feast fit for royalty, an array of dishes that tantalize the senses with their rich aromas and vibrant colors. Family and friends mingle around the table, their voices blending into a symphony of warmth and camaraderie.

Nakyoung sits across from you and jake. but you refuse to focus on her and your mind paints her into the background. 

Throughout the evening, the maids and servers flit about, their movements graceful and efficient as they refill drinks and bring out more food. But amidst the flurry of activity, you find yourself lost in the spell of jake's touch. His hand rests reassuringly on your thigh, a silent anchor in the sea of chatter and laughter.

With each whispered word, jake's affectionate murmurs send a shiver of anticipation down your spine. He tells you how beautiful you look, his words a gentle caress against your ear. And as he expresses his desire for you, his voice laced with longing, you feel a surge of warmth spread through you, igniting a fire that burns bright in the depths of your soul.

Despite the distractions and the prying eyes around you, you lean into jake's touch, craving the intimacy of his presence.

As dessert is served, you reach for the fork beside your plate, only to hear Aunt Rose's voice ring out across the table, tinged with surprise and disapproval. "Wow, I can't believe Y/N is using her salad fork for dessert," she exclaims, her words carrying a bit too loudly in the suddenly quiet room. Instantly, you feel the weight of everyone's attention shift towards you, the conversation dying down as all eyes seem to bore into your being.

With a gulp, you swallow the piece of dessert in your mouth, feeling the sting of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. Hastily, you set down the incorrect fork and pick up the proper one, mumbling a hasty apology under your breath. It's a small mistake, but in this moment, it feels monumental, a glaring reminder of your perceived inadequacies.

For the first time since arriving at the estate, you feel like everyone is truly seeing you, but not for the person they believe you to be, but rather for the outsider that you are. The room is heavy with silent judgment, the unspoken question lingering in the air: why are you here?

Before you can gather your thoughts or summon a response, Nakyoung's interruption pierces the steady silence like a sharp dagger. "I told you that you don't belong here, Y/N," she declares, her voice laced with venom. her mother's reprimand is swift, but Nakyoung pays it no mind, her focus locked on you with an intensity that sends a chill down your spine.

"Oh please," Nakyoung continues, her gaze boring into yours with unbridled disdain. "Don't act like that wasn't what everyone was just thinking." And then, her words turn even more cutting as she directs her attention to Sonya, her accusation hanging in the air like a dark cloud. "She's just using you for a little fun getaway, Sonya."

Nakyoung's words cut through the air like a knife, piercing the fragile bubble of illusion you've been living in. In an instant, you're jolted back to reality, the stark truth of your situation crashing down upon you like a tidal wave. You don't belong in jake's world, not really. No amount of fancy clothes or lavish surroundings can change that.

With a heavy heart, you mumble another apology, the words feeling hollow and inadequate as they leave your lips. The sound of your chair scraping against the floor echoes loudly in the sudden silence, drawing unwanted attention to your retreat. You can feel the weight of everyone's eyes on you, their silent judgment suffocating in its intensity.

jake's voice, soft and pleading, calls out your name, his hand reaching out in a futile attempt to stop you. But you can't bear to face him, to see the disappointment and confusion in his eyes. With a sharp intake of breath, you pull away, your heart hammering in your chest as you turn and flee from the dining room. you head up the multiple stairs to not your “bedroom”, but the room they let you stay in. 

The dress feels like a suffocating shroud, constricting around you like chains as you struggle to breathe. In a sudden burst of desperation, you tear at the fabric, ripping it away from your body. With trembling hands, you reach for the clothes you had packed, the familiar weight of them grounding you in the chaos of the moment. Hastily, you pull them on, the fabric familiar and comforting against your skin. As you move around the room, gathering your belongings into your bag, a sense of urgency propels you forward, driving you towards escape.

But before you can make your exit, a familiar voice calls out from beyond the door, the sound of it both comforting and agonizing in its plea. "Y/N? Are you okay?" jake's voice is laced with concern, his words a desperate plea for you to return to the dinner table. "Please come back to dinner. Nakyoung's just being an asshole. Don't listen to her, please!"

You pause, the sound of his voice tugging at your heartstrings, but our mind is set on one thing and one thing only: leaving this fantasy behind as quickly as you arrived.

jake knows that you won’t answer and suddenly the door is swinging open behind you. jake's heart sinks as he sees your bag packed, a sinking feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. "What're you doing?" he asks, his voice tinged with concern and confusion.

"I'm leaving, jake," you reply, your voice steady but tinged with sorrow. His heart clenches at your words, a sense of panic rising within him. "What, why?" he asks, his voice cracking with emotion.

"I shouldn't be here," you explain, your words echoing in the silence of the room. "So I'm leaving." Despite his protests, you continue to pack, your movements swift and decisive. jake tries to stop you, his hands reaching out in a futile attempt to halt your departure. But it's no use—your mind is made up.

"Y/N, please, just stay," he pleads, his voice desperate and pleading. But when you refuse to meet his gaze, he takes matters into his own hands, gently grasping your upper arms and guiding you to face him. As your eyes meet, he can see the tears welling in your eyes, a silent testament to the pain you're feeling.

In that moment, as you stand before him, both of you are flooded with memories of all the moments you shared together—the laughter, the smiles, the stolen glances filled with unspoken longing. He remembers the way your eyes lit up when you were together, the warmth of your touch sending shivers down his spine.

the tears fall down your cheeks and jake pulls you into his chest. you take in his lavender smell and you know deep down that this will be the last time you’re this close to jake sim. he shushes you silently into your hair. his arms cascading down your back, keeping you close to him. 

in that moment, jake realizes that he can’t bear the thought of losing you. 

Tension crackles in the air like lightning as you and jake pull apart. 

"I have to go, jake," you say, your voice steady but tinged with sadness. "I don't belong here, and you know it."

jake's eyes darken with emotion, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "Is there anything I can do to make you stay, please!" he pleads, desperation lacing his words. "I can't see you go like this!"

But you shake your head, the resolve in your heart unwavering. "It's not about you, jake," you explain, frustration creeping into your tone. "It's about me and where I belong. And it's not here."

His jaw clenches as he struggles to find the right words, the air thick with unspoken tension. "You're making a mistake," he insists, his voice rough with emotion. "We can figure this out together, I promise."

But you shake your head, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "I can't," you whisper, the words barely audible over the pounding of your heart. "I have to go."

And with that, you turn and reach for the handle of the room, preparing to call a taxi and never set food on sinestate again. But before you can take another step, jake's voice cuts through the silence like a knife, causing you to freeze in your tracks.

"I love you," he declares, his words hanging in the air like a delicate thread. Slowly, you turn to face him, your heart heavy with sorrow.

"No, you don't, jake," you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. His eyes widen in disbelief, hurt flashing across his features like a storm cloud. "What? Yes, I do!" he protests, desperation lacing his words. "You're the only one who's ever understood me! I love you."

"No, you don't, jake," you repeat, your voice trembling with emotion. You can see the pain in his eyes. He reaches for you, his hand outstretched in a silent plea, but you raise your own in a gesture of finality. 

"Please, jake," you implore, your voice breaking with emotion. "Just let me go, please." His shoulders slump in defeat, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he watches you turn and leave the room. And as you disappear from his sight, leaving him alone in the house he's always hated, he can't help but wonder if he’ll ever get to hold you again.

the last thing you see of the sim estate, is kim nakyoung’s manicured fingers waving at you from the front door through the taxi’s window. 

back at Sterling Academy after the thanksgiving long weekend is no longer a dream, but hell. 

As you step through the familiar halls, a sense of relief washes over you at the sight of your friends and the comforting familiarity of your surroundings. Heejin, your grumpy but lovable roommate, greets you with a half-hearted smile, her eyes betraying the exhaustion of the past few days.

But amidst the warm welcome from your friends, there's an undercurrent of unease lingering in the air. The rumors of your mysterious disappearance over the weekend have spread like wildfire, leaving a trail of whispers and speculation in their wake.

It's not long before Minju, lia, and Heejin corner you in the dormitory common room, their eyes wide with curiosity and concern. "Is it true?" Minju asks, her voice tinged with disbelief. "Did you really spend the weekend at jake sim's house?"

You nod, unable to meet their gaze as a flood of emotions threatens to overwhelm you. "Yes," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "I did."

“oh my god!” lia squeals, and even heejin fails to hide her amusement at the information. “you have to tell us what happened!” 

“yes! yes!” minju shakes you playfully, “every detail!” 

before you can even start the story of how you wound up at jake sim’s house,  the floodgates open, and tears begin to stream down your cheeks. The weight of the past few days crashes down upon you like a tidal wave, leaving you gasping for breath in its wake.

Without hesitation, Minju, lia, and Heejin rush to your side, enveloping you in a tight embrace. They hold you close, offering silent support and understanding as you struggle to find the words to explain the whirlwind of emotions that have consumed you. you fail to recognize in the moment, but now you know that that was where you belonged in, surrounded by people who truly love you. 

"Heejin, I'm sorry," you whisper, the words heavy with remorse as you finally confront your roommate after weeks of avoiding the inevitable. Heejin's eyes soften at your apology, her expression mirroring a sense of understanding that you never knew existed between you.

"It's okay, Y/N," she replies, her voice gentle and reassuring. "I just didn't want to see you hurt like this. I wanted to protect you."

Tears well in your eyes at her words, the weight of her sincerity washing over you like a soothing balm. For the first time ever, you see Heejin in a different light, not as the grumpy roommate you've grown accustomed to, but as a friend who has always had your best interests at heart.

The first week back at Sterling Academy feels like walking through a maze of curious gazes and whispered rumors. You can practically feel the weight of judgment bearing down on you, as if every pair of eyes in the room is scrutinizing your every move. It's as though no one understands how a scholarship girl like you ended up spending Thanksgiving weekend at the lavish estate of jake sim, one of the wealthiest students at the academy.

jake's persistent attempts to reach out to you only serve to exacerbate the tension between you. He shows up at your dorm room each night, but you can't bring yourself to face him. As the days pass with no communication, you and jake drift further and further apart. And so you avoid each other, pretending as though your shared past is nothing but a distant memory. 

But deep down, beneath the layers of hurt and resentment, there's a part of you that longs to bridge the divide between you and jake, to recapture the connection you once shared. to forget that neither of you could belong in one world. the thought of jake being at your small home with your parents made you laugh. the boy with so much luxury wouldn’t be able to last a day in your hometown where luxury was the rarest thing of all. 

As the days pass and the distance between you and jake sim grows, you do realize that you do love him. His caring nature, his playful demeanor, and his vulnerability beneath the facade of wealth and privilege all tug at your heartstrings. But as much as you adore him, you can't ignore the stark reality of the world he belongs to—a world that looks down upon those who aren't born into wealth and luxury. It's a divide that neither of you could ever truly bridge, a fundamental difference that would continue to drive you apart in the future. And so, as much as it pains you to admit it, your love may be doomed from the start, destined to wither beneath the weight of societal expectations and cultural differences that neither of you can overcome.

You decided to shift your focus away from jake sim and onto your schoolwork and friendships. It became clear to you that perhaps you and jake were never meant to be together, and dwelling on it only brought unnecessary pain. Slowly but surely, as you poured your energy into your studies and spending time with your friends, you began to feel a weight lifting off your shoulders. With the looming threat of your scholarship hanging over your head, you knew you had to prioritize your academics to maintain your financial stability. So, you threw yourself into your studies, determined to excel and secure your future. In between study sessions, you found solace in the laughter and companionship of your friends, their support serving as a constant source of comfort and joy. As the days turned into weeks, you started to feel a newfound sense of happiness and contentment, realizing that there was so much more to life than pining over someone who may never truly understand or appreciate you.

As you trudge back to your dorm room after a long night of studying, exhaustion weighing heavy on your shoulders, you absentmindedly glance out the window into the moonlit backyard of Sterling Academy. What you see there stops you dead in your tracks, freezing the breath in your lungs and sending a shockwave of disbelief coursing through your veins. There, on the bench where you and jake used to sit, sits jake sim himself, his lips locked in a passionate embrace with none other than Kim Nakyoung.

The textbooks slip from your fingers, crashing to the ground with a deafening thud that seems to echo through the empty hallways. The sound jolts jake and Nakyoung apart, their guilty eyes meeting yours in a moment of stunned silence. Panic seizes you, and you scramble to retrieve your books, your heart pounding painfully in your chest as you feel the sting of tears pricking at your eyes.

Ignoring jake's desperate calls of your name, you turn on your heel and flee down the dimly lit corridor, the world around you a blur of pain and confusion. The betrayal cuts deep, slicing through the fragile facade of hope you had built for yourself, leaving behind nothing but a raw, gaping wound in its wake.

the sound of your footsteps echoing in the empty hallway, you hear hurried footsteps behind you, growing closer with each passing moment. You steal a glance over your shoulder and see jake sim, his figure swaying slightly as he catches up to you. His eyes are glassy, clouded with the haze of alcohol, and his words tumble out in a slurred rush as he tries to explain himself. "Y/N, wait!” you don’t wait, “It didn't mean anything, I swear. You mean everything to me.” 

You stop abruptly, turning to face him, your heart heavy with a mixture of anger and sorrow. you can immediately smell the alcohol off of jake as he stands in front of you. his bangs longer than ever before as they rest in his eyes as he looks down at you. “i don’t care who you fuck, jake. do what you want.”

jake reaches out and grabs your arm, spinning you around to look at you, “y/n i know, i’m so sorry. but i don’t want to fuck anyone! i just want you!” 

you sigh, “jake, it's over, whatever this,” you point between your bodies, “was. We're too different. We don't belong in each other's worlds."

But jake's expression is one of desperation as he reaches out to grasp your hand, his touch tingling against your skin. "No, Y/N, please," he pleads, his voice cracking with emotion. "I want to be in your world. I want to be with you."

Tears blur your vision as you pull your hand away, shaking your head in resignation. "But you aren’t and you can't be, jake," you whisper, your voice barely above a whisper. “stop pretending you aren’t privileged and wake up. you say you don’t want to be in a fantasy but you pretend that you aren't wealthy jake and that we could ever be in the same world. so that’s it, it’s done.” 

“no.” jake says, his head shaking and eyes full of sorrow as he looks at you in almost disbelief, “no y/n you can’t do this, you can’t say this to me.” 

“it’s time to stop pretending for both of us jake.” you start to walk away backwards, your face looking at him as youg et slowly farther down the hall. 

“no, y/n. i’m not pretending,” jake’s voice is exasperated when he speaks, “i’m not pretending that i love you! i love you, y/n!” you have to bite your lip to stop yourself from responding. only closing your eyes and walking away from him in the empty hallway. when he can’t see your face you let the tears fall. you listen to him calling your name, telling you to come back and that he’ll do anything for you. you so badly want to turn around and run into the familiarity of his arms. but you know that it would be no use, you and jake could never be together. so you tell yourself that these are the last tears you’ll ever spill for jake sim. the son of the wealthiest family at sterling academy.

after that last night in the hallway with jake sim, the days at Sterling Academy passed by in a blur, devoid of any interaction with him. it was as if he had vanished from the halls of the prestigious school, leaving behind nothing but rumours of his troubled behavior. despite the lingering curiosity about him, you found solace in the companionship of your friends minju and lia, and your roommate heejin, who had become the best part of your time at Sterling Academy.

as the school year drew to a close, you knew that you would have to either renew your scholarship or choose not to. and though the memory of jake sim lingered in the recesses of your mind, you found comfort in the bonds you had forged with your friends and the knowledge that you were on the path to a brighter future. your parents and your professors were so impressed by your determined nature with your school work. 

for too long, you had lived in a dream, navigating the halls of Sterling Academy with a facade of belonging, all the while feeling like an outsider looking in. the scholarship that had once been a beacon of opportunity now felt like a shackle, binding you to a life that didn't align with you. you longed for true authenticity, for a sense of belonging that transcended the confines of wealth and privilege.

though it was once your dream, you chose not to renew your scholarship at Sterling Academy for the following year. tt was a decision made for you to be able to embrace the world where you truly belonged, surrounded by people who accepted you for who you were, without the need for pretense or facade. 

as the final days at Sterling Academy drew near, the bittersweet reality of parting ways with jake sim lingered in the air, casting a shadow over the once vibrant halls of the prestigious academy. You and jake, from starkly different worlds yet inexplicably drawn together by the threads of fate, stood at the precipice of separation, each poised to embark on divergent paths that would lead you far from one another's embrace.

as you said goodbye to Sterling Academy forever, you carried with you the imprint of jake's presence upon your heart. though your paths diverged, you knew that the bond forged between you would endure your lifetime. even as you live your lives differently, you remain forever intertwined, tethered by shared memories and experiences.

in the end, you had both learned a lesson about the nature of life, social classes and love. as the echoes of your time at Sterling Academy faded into the distance, you embraced the promise of new beginnings, knowing that no matter where life took you, your connection with jake sim would endure, an eternal reminder of love and hope in a world filled with uncertainty.

@ taeghi, 2024. do not repost or reuse in anyway.

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)

stay safe everyone :)

[hwanchaesong]

now kick me in the ass bc i read this too late

[hwanchaesong]

BEING A MED STUDENT SUCKS

it is fulfilling in a sense that i get to help people and learn more about life itself but fuckkk

i DID NOT go through sleepless nights, driven by coffee and energy drinks; studying until i go crazy over these thick ass books, notes and endless power points; getting myself tired and limp after duties; PAYING ALL THOSE STUPID EXPENSIVE TUITION FEES JUST TO BE DISRESPECTED LMAO

my patience is thicker than blood but damn does the cells in my entire body pulses with anger with patients who act all high and mighty 💩

i do not fucking care if you're rich and privileged, if y'all did not properly follow INSTRUCTIONS for your lab then that is not my fault smh I CAN'T WITH THESE PEOPLE 👺‼️

SUE ME FOR ALL I CARE 🫶🏼

[hwanchaesong]

hello!!! do you have an ig acc?

hello hi~

lmao yeah, i do have an ig acc.

tmi ‼️ just made a dump one but my face is all over it bc i have to delete photos in my phone for more space 😭😭

[pansyfemme]

im too much of a music snob to have a sex playlist i would be analyzing the lyrics mid thrust