Optimus monkey

☆he/him, xe/xem☆ ☆Murphy☆ ☆anti-neil gaiman☆ ☆icon by FUNCTIONENTROPY!!☆ ☆18+ joke posts may be here, please beware! it will always be tagged as n$fw!☆ Welcome to my blog! I'm an artist, writer, and historian!! I tend to reblog a lot of what I see (especially if I think its funny), if you ever wanna chat about my hyperfixations just send me a message & we can talk! :-)

[mochiiknight]

Stop asking me for vending machines on my beaches!!!!! This is not design by committee!!!!!!!!

[bluerscarf]

there’s a learning curve for telepathic communication i thinks

[willgrahamscock]

I forgot to lock in at 4 years old!!! life ruined

[anistarrose]

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

[brainrockets]

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

[redstonedust]

everyone knows about the filing the serial numbers off that comes with turning a fanfiction character into an original character but theres a lesser known and equally funny "putting an original character created for a preexisting fandom setting into my own world" . like yeah this was always my own oc. i made this guy. however i need to shave off their homestuck horns. dont worry about it. its fine.

[weaselknievel]

*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you

[velvetys]

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

[pissvortex]

[transmascmarypoppins]

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

[cecilsrandomeverything]

Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….

Finally, we have them all.

[spacefinch]

In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.

Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.

[chatblancofficial]

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

[huewrite]

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

[gossamermouse]

this is not a place of honor

[jackviator]

[dinosaurana]

Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you

[vedurnan-archive]

[the-frightening-ghoul]

Its pride month

You know what that means >:)

‎

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[the-frightening-ghoul]

‎

[help-me-or-kelp-me]

[kilgoretrout-stan]

barn owl and some acorns

[whatthekoi-deactivated20260510]

“can’t believe women fought to work!! i don’t wanna work!!” women have Been Working they fought to get Paid you know that right ?

[jackabbot]

and a happy belated pride to him <3

[shinigamisscythe]

Would YOU like to help a disabled artist make some c@sh?

NOW YOU CAN!

THESE ARE URGENT COMMISSIONS!

Due to life circumstances work is difficult for me and finding a job is even harder, especially one that compensates for my needs.

So im turning to the only other thing I have; Art! Groceries are expensive and so is being alive. So any dollar i make in commissions goes directly towards my living expenses. P@yment through P4yP@l is preferred, but if you do not currently have that available, PLEASE ask me to see if there's something we could work out. As stated above, these pieces will be completed within a 1 to 2 week time frame. Likely less, considering I have a lot of time on my hands currently.

I apologize for the random smattering of tags below. I am trying to get as much reach as possible, so-

Once again I ask kindly that if you cant commission me,

PLEASE SHARE!

Thank you so much 🩷

[shinigamisscythe]

Would YOU like to help a disabled artist make some c@sh?

NOW YOU CAN!

THESE ARE URGENT COMMISSIONS!

Due to life circumstances work is difficult for me and finding a job is even harder, especially one that compensates for my needs.

So im turning to the only other thing I have; Art! Groceries are expensive and so is being alive. So any dollar i make in commissions goes directly towards my living expenses. P@yment through P4yP@l is preferred, but if you do not currently have that available, PLEASE ask me to see if there's something we could work out. As stated above, these pieces will be completed within a 1 to 2 week time frame. Likely less, considering I have a lot of time on my hands currently.

I apologize for the random smattering of tags below. I am trying to get as much reach as possible, so-

Once again I ask kindly that if you cant commission me,

PLEASE SHARE!

Thank you so much 🩷

[shinigamisscythe]

Would YOU like to help a disabled artist make some c@sh?

NOW YOU CAN!

THESE ARE URGENT COMMISSIONS!

Due to life circumstances work is difficult for me and finding a job is even harder, especially one that compensates for my needs.

So im turning to the only other thing I have; Art! Groceries are expensive and so is being alive. So any dollar i make in commissions goes directly towards my living expenses. P@yment through P4yP@l is preferred, but if you do not currently have that available, PLEASE ask me to see if there's something we could work out. As stated above, these pieces will be completed within a 1 to 2 week time frame. Likely less, considering I have a lot of time on my hands currently.

I apologize for the random smattering of tags below. I am trying to get as much reach as possible, so-

Once again I ask kindly that if you cant commission me,

PLEASE SHARE!

Thank you so much 🩷