a buried urn on the internet @hydriotaphia - Tumblr Blog

don’t hesitate by Mary Oliver

THE GREEN PLANET 2022・1x01 Tropical Worlds

"app" is without a doubt one of the deepest evils of the human race. "hello. would you like to be expected to have a bespoke piece of software for every single Brand you might theoretically interact with in a day" <- statement dreamed up by someone who should be drawn and quartered

whatthefoucault

"It's better in the app!"

That's embarrassing. Make your website better

httpshayley

I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king.

theythembobdylan

this is my one wild and precious life fucckkkkkkk fuckkkkkk fucckcckkkkkkk

makesoneteam

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

pochayun

would you like to share with the class 🤔

makesoneteam

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

mercury-mage

would you like to unshare with the class

saltoncity

can we get anne carson on hot ones

playwrongs

ANNE CARSON: The Hot Ones could be the name of a tragedy. Imagine that chorus. Chewing on spiced wings so their tears streamed down the masks and fell to the ground. If a tragic actor was crying from eating hot wings how would you know? The mask doesn't tell you. Only if he cried OTOTOTOI POPOI DA but that is his text. No dividing what is pain from what is pain. According to Aulus Gellius, the actor Polus used the urn that held his son's bones and ashes onstage. He was using grief to play grief. It does away with the problem of feigning. You can't feign spice either. Either your eyes water and you retch or you don't.

SEAN EVANS: So, are you gonna take a bite, or...?

costanzian

Undulates anguilliformly at you to confuse and threaten you with my highly maneuverable body

costanzian

pangur-and-grim

I was trying to figure out where my fetish for medieval-style public executions comes from, because that is SO SPECIFIC!!! like, it has to have been embedded from an external source! and today I finally figured it out, and......

I don't want to talk about it. it's from seeing this as a kid. this is why.

pangur-and-grim

makingtrouble

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem