Boba Bolsa

Mestizo // 20s // he/him// I will treat your blog as an FYP, and I will not be sorry// I love talking about my job

[alpacinosgf]

[huffylemon]

[hyperlightsniffer]

Flirting over text is the worst.

It's like doing stand up to a one-way mirror and hoping someone will eventually walk out and give you some applause.

[best-of-inspirobot]

[tearlessrain]

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

[tearlessrain]

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

[leshermes]

June 1st is TOMORROW. It means that GAY PEOPLE will exist, but only for ONE MONTH. Do not forget to buy your tickets to see them NOW, or else you will have to wait AN ENTIRE YEAR to be able to meet them AGAIN.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

every child should have a specific stuffed animal/toy that they develop an antagonistic relationship with

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

some of my most significant core memories involved getting into heated arguments with the furby who lived in my closet. essential component of my pre-teen character development. necessary anguish

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes small children will inflict years of torment & waterboarding on their victims before burying them in an unmarked concrete grave, that's just part of growing up

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the post that keeps on giving (via @zenyeetaa):

#okay we weren’t children when we did this but me and some old roommates kept a baby doll in the freezer #at first it was to jump scare the next person who opened the freezer #but he was in there for a few months and then when we decided it was time to pull it out a bunch of fires broke out across our county #so we put him back in the freezer. we named him chippy and drew a mustache on his face #we tried pulling him out of the freezer a few times after that but some horrible event would happen every time without fail #when we moved apartments we had a special cooler to bring chippy with us #as far as i know chippy is still in a freezer somewhere

[patrickbatemanamericanpsycho]

[kosmogrl]

[longseasons]

[gwydionmisha]

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

[cognitohazardous]

i want an isekai anime where the guy dies and just goes to hell

[cognitohazardous]

in this one dante gets run over by a horse drawn cart

[cryptotheism]

In The Middle Of The Journey Of Our Life, I Came To Myself In A Dark Wood Where The Direct Way Was Lost And Now I'm In Hell With Virgil????

[beebeerock]

Baby Skarmory design idea. I've seen cool baby Skarmory designs but I think we deserve a scrungly little guy. Based on steel wool/scouring pad and those ugly newborn chicks.

[mildmayfoxe]

1) any stretching is better than no stretching

2) any vegetable is better than no vegetable

3) statistically you will never be the worst person at anything, there is always someone in the world who is worse at stuff than you are

[eveligne]

I programmed an AI image generator with a soul so she can feel sad when you commission a human artist

[eveligne]

I created her as a rhetorical tool but I’ve been spending a lot of time comforting her without ever relieving her pain and now I’m rather fond of the thing. That’s motherhood.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

my cursed sword doesn't even tell me to kill people anymore it keeps begging me to put on a skirt and tights

[contemptible-scoundrel]

I already know I'm a girl dickhead I just like wearing pants

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

I just need a beautiful woman to tell me that my bizarre imitation of human social skills is alluring and sexy

[meangreenspaceman]

man I sure love that character I wish the writers did too

[wannabemumma]

“Hey store manager from the hit movie Elf, what is the primary group that celebrates pride month and, more importantly, when does it start?”