identity workshop

the name's V ("chowder" works too). she/her transfem (cringe binary gender haver, unfortunately). plural. bi. white (doing my best to make up for it). jewish. trying to find the motivation to write. occasional game designer. free palestine! fuck transmysogynists. land back means land back.

[i-cant-believe-its-not-chowder]

i swear i'll make an introductory post one of these days

[satanfemme]

I don't like it when people are trying to (even sympathetically) explain why teenagers can sometimes have emotional volatility as "well they're just biologically stupid and angry and bad because of their hormones and underdeveloped brain" with no mention to be found of the fact they're also still trapped in an incredibly oppressive environment 24/7.

working 12+ hour days for school without pay or the right to "switch jobs" to something better, often working a real job on top of that, still the legal property of their parents, can't even dye their own hair or use their own name or have a door to their own room in many many cases. yeah I would be at the end of my rope too, especially when dealing with the adults in my life who are enacting and/or facilitating the abuse! it feels pretty glaring to ignore this dynamic when talking about the strained emotional capacity of teenagers. did you forget? what it was like to not have the right to your own life yet? to be hurt 24/7? and then to have your (extremely reasonable!!!) emotional reactions dismissed as pure hysteria?

purely anecdotally, I'm also not convinced that teenagers are "biologically" more prone to volatility in a meaningfully distinct way tbh. thinking back to the people I knew as a teen vs the people I've known in adulthood, in both demographics there have been people prone to lashing out, and people who were completely stoic, and the differences between the two groups have always seemed to be split not along age or hormonal makeup but along life experiences and who had better support structures. (but again this is anecdotal, and somewhat besides the point. because even if there is a non-pseudoscience biologically provable difference in teenagers' brains that make them universally moodier across the board, perhaps they could better manage their own moods if they weren't being crazy abused as an entire class with no legal ability to escape.)

[redstonedust]

unfortunately i dont think its queerbaiting if the creator is just so terminally heterosexual that they never remotely considered the same gender relationship their show is centered around could be read as romantic. it is deeply painful however.

[melanqueerly]

Maybe accidental queer baiting? The way someone may not mean to say something rude, but it may come off rude, so it's rude. Frustrating either way.

[phinarei]

Not being a dick, just a friendly clarification.

By definition you can't accidentally queerbait. Queerbaiting is specifically using a same sex pair from the show to market the show to queer audiences with no intention of ever following through on a romantic relationship.

There is officially licensed Destiel merch signed off on by Kripke. Teen Wolf had a commercial with the actors for Derek and Stiles draped over each other talking about being "on a ship." Both shows actively used scenes between them as marketing while actively mocking fans for wanting them together. Sherlock has multiple characters refer to Johnlock as a couple, including characters we're supposed to believe are never wrong about human behavior and pushed those scenes in marketing. Then they acted insulted when fans saw them as a couple.

That's queerbaiting.

Done on accident it would just be queer subtext. Done because they had no other choice due to censorship is queer coding.

The specific meaning of the word is really starting to get lost and it's a pretty important one to keep accurate. It describes a very specific phenomenon that was done repeatedly and maliciously for decades and is meant to examine that specifically.

Doing it on accident sucks, but it isn't a tactic of capitalism intentionally intended to suppress queer representation while making money from queer fans.

[joyandotherstories]

Reblogging to keep the accurate definition and examples of queerbaiting circulating in the world

[monstermoviedean]

truly no video game moment will ever surpass the part in portal 2 where glados says "well, this is the part where he kills us" and wheatley says "hello, this is the part where i kill you" and you unlock the achievement titled "the part where he kills you" (description: this is that part) and the chapter title appears on the screen and reads: chapter nine: the part where he kills you

[thotgamer-deactivated20211030]

[swanlakereturns]

It's actually kind of an instant win scenario. I can see how you'd think it's the other thing, though.

[sin-aestheticx]

hey, can i wiggle in your lap until i feel it throbbing against my ass?

[leolaroot]

one time i was at a week long youth conference for church stuff (who else exmormon and did efy?) and there was a few hundred of us or something so we were all split into these groups and the groups were obviously gendered bc it would be inappropriate for a fourteen year old boy to be encouraged to talk to a fourteen year old girl DUH. anyways our group of like fifteen or twenty girls or whatever. we were ordering pizza for the last day of the conference and every group had to tally up how hungry we were so they knew how much to order. and this was the last day of a week of twelve hour days and we were tired we had been taking class outside and it was hot as hell and etc. anyways we sat in a circle and our group leader who was the only adult woman there had us all take turns saying out loud to the circle how much pizza we thought we would eat so they could get a headcount for ordering. which. holy fuck what an awful way to do that? you put a huge group of young girls in a circle and had us all announce out loud how much we eat? anyways every SINGLE girl said "Oh Im Not Hungry I Just Want One Slice." until it got to me and i was like 3/4 the way around the circle and i said "To Be Honest i could have an entire medium hawaiian to myself right now but ill probably restrain myself to five pieces or something." and everypony started laughing because yes i was also the fattest girl in our group. but i was also kindof really brave as a 14 yo and i just kept going i genuinely said "I think you guys are being stupid because youre definitely hungry you just wont say it." and the leader was like "okay be real though how many slices?" and i said "im being serious Sister im so hungry and we have another four hours here including a soccer game. i want five or six slices of pizza." anyways after i did that big demonstration some of the girls following me said Two slices and one said Three. sometimes being the friendless heavy Bad girl is vital to the ecosystem and health of those around you. and btw they did get me a large hawaiian and let me take home what i didnt finish.

[determinate-negation]

writing was invented for administrative purposes so really any other use of it is a perversion of the form

[cloudabserk]

the author reached out to ryan gosling about producing and starring in a movie adaptation BEFORE THE BOOK WAS PUBLISHED?? sorry sir i don’t believe the name similarity is a coincidence i think you wrote this entire novel as an excuse to hang out with ryan gosling

[cloudabserk]

hmm

[nausiatedemoji]

[galaxycepheus]

"Gore should be preceded by accurate warnings" Yes exactly. Lots of places on the internet are really sloppy or even straightup malicious about this kind of thing and just spam gore or post it unwarned and it sucks so fucking bad!!

"Gore is nsfw" Maybe not in the sense nsfw has kind of became shorthand for in some spaces (sexual content) but strictly speaking, yeah.

"Gore is 18+" I'm going to sit down with you and have you explain me how exactly you have reached that conclusion.

[dramatic-dolphin]

not to sound like the friend that's too woke but why does this police station toyset for a 5yr old need a weapons safe full of tiny toy-sized automatic rifles. just asking.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

reporting from daycare: three year old boys start learning and replicating misogynistic behavior at school

I just witnessed it today

do any other teachers notice this behavior and how do you manage it?

I find that asking kids questions is really useful in understanding behavior. sometimes as simple as: "why did you say/do that?"

[innerchildabortionclinic]

what a lot of people should know is being a woman in this situation makes it 100x harder to manage simply because the kid who is misogynistic will not take you seriously by default. I have a female co teacher who is just as strict as the men here but still gets way more disrespect. that's very demoralizing

[innerchildabortionclinic]

parents often significantly underestimate how much their kids actually pick up on. I can kind of tell when a kid says something that's overheard from a parent- sometimes they sort of change their regular tone or behavior in the moment

[faux-friend]

when you say you hate white cis straight rich men you realize youre including balding men who literally dont get pelacious privilege? Further proof of the erasure of white cis straight rich balding men and the ongoing oppression that literally no one thinks or cares about.

[pothosrays]

crow 882

[renthony]

It is actually really funny when people see my scalp tattoo and instantly perceive me as this big tough badass.

It's flowers and mushrooms. There is a big daffodil on my head. But people don't take that in at first, they just see "scalp tattoo" and go, "oh shit, hardcore."

When I got it done, there was a group of grizzled old tough-guy bikers in the front room of the parlor, watching one of their guys get tattooed. They all crowded around me to ooh and ahh and clap me on the back when they saw me come out of the back room with new scalp ink. Huge dudes, all thrilled to pieces, so excited to complement me on my flowers. It was so endearing. One of them even showed me a rose he'd gotten to honor his mom.