[darkmelaningirls-deactivated202]

How cute is this 😊😇

[candiikismet]

IM ABOUT TO CRY THIS IS AMAZING!

[somecutething]

[thickdaddydandelion-deactivated]

A TINY, FEARLESS LEADER

[mjsheartisstillbeating]

C’MON GUYS

[dankmemeuniversity]

[midnight-femme-deactivated20201]

“oh i love your name” “thanks i picked it out myself” is an A+ trans joke 

[carpebutts]

me, making fun of cis people: “nice name, did your mom pick it out for you?”

[pettycentral]

[dancing-cockroaches]

[one-million-people]

[sharpnelshell-deactivated201905]

Small town culture is knowing that there are Old Folks with strange nicknames but never knowing the stories behind them.

Of course, I made the mistake of asking why everyone calls this one guy Brickaday and it turns out that he worked at a brickyard for 40 years, stealing exactly one brick every day and making no particular efforts to conceal the theft. Nobody thought anything of it until years later he was discovered to have built three houses.

His boss is said to have shrugged and made some remarks about the importance of coming up with a plan and sticking to it.

I‘m trying to arrange my face into an appropriate approximation of silent bafflement and failing miserably.

[boy-and-girl-crazy123456]

i appreciate brickaday

[captainlordauditor]

chaotic good

[kaijuno]

My grandpa once told me he worked with a guy called Scrappy at General Motors back in the 50s. Every few days he would wheelbarrow out metal shavings and the foreman was convinced he was stealing things and hiding them in the scrap metal to get it out of the factory. But every time they’d go through the scrap they’d find nothing. He was stealing the wheelbarrows.

[bidonica]

One of my late grandfather’s friends was called Salami because he used to steal salami and cured meats so I’m seeing a pattern here

[blatantfanservicelover]

There was an old man in our neighborhood called Randy. That wasn’t his name. When we asked why he was called Randy he just gave us a look that’s said “oh, you know.”

[oldrecordplayer]

Everyone calls my dad Homer because he used to raise homing pigeons and sell them to people and then they’d fly back to him and he’d sell them again and guess what happened after that. Just take a guess.

[zsnes]

roses are red

to you i talk sweet

[pr1nceshawn]

Why do people even bother buying things for their cats?

[shiftythrifting]

you know what time it is babey!!!

[vladtheunfollower]

goblin screen

[littlemedievalbitch]

let them in

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[snuh]

[betterthanakickintheface]

Smooosh

[hivs]

spirits of hell and heaven judging your soul in afterlife

[stachionalgeographic]

myspace but pronounced like versace

[porterr-robinson]

[unclefather]

[keeperofseeds]

[xeppeli]

[nicejewishguy]

is this a threat

[blog-493629846]

You better believe it motherfucker!