hiya

El | they/she/he | 24

[lokaror]

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

[lokaror]

Cops are here.

[lokaror]

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

[delinquentbookworm]

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

[konoko]

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

attacka you with a branch

[yallive-deactivated20260426]

attacka

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

attacka

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

fucking kill and smasha you on a rock

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[official-graveyard-posts]

Official graveyard post

[legallybrunettedotcom]

[inbabylontheywept]

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

vibes

[ozth]

[lesphian]

things dan howell is too anxious to do:

admit to the dentist that he forgot his appointment

talk to someone he went to school with (will hide in the narrow crack behind a photo booth until they’re gone)

tell a child he can’t buy an axe

things dan howell is apparently perfectly capable of

shushing people in the theater

blowing bubbles on an airplane

taking out all the batteries from his in-laws’ clocks

[hello-eeveev]

a crude summary of one of my favorite musicals

[statictay]

actually i do think its fun that theyre opening a real life freddy fazbears pizza location but it will only be accurate if its built on top of another fake pizzeria which is built on top of a suburban house which is built on top of an underground animatronic testing/rental facility which is built on top of a costume factory from the 70s

[starlitbeetle]

Hey all, while we're busy normalizing women with hairy legs, hairy armpits and bushy pubes, let's also normalize women with hairy upper lips, hairy chins, hairy side burns, hairy chests, and all the other places where women are supposedly magically hair-free.

[badassdemonsword]

Im dryin up faster than lake mead just thinking about it

[the-bar-sinister]

[gelphienation]

idk I can tell that some tumblrinas are not up on fat politics because I see a lot of people saying stuff like “it’s better to be a little fat than waste your life trying to be thin” or like “it’s chic to have a little belly” like okay but there are fat people who are “a lot fat” and have “a lot of belly” which everyone is weirdly silent on all the time. Like the fattest person on earth still deserves to exist in human society with joy and dignity regardless of how they got to that weight or how many health conditions they have as a result of their personal actions…that should be everyone’s baseline here I’m not really sure what’s complicated about it

[thegirlwiththemooglehat]

Friends, romans, people who are nonbinary except at work, lend me your ears,

[babushkaat]

[hunter-rodrigez]

kitty perfect weight for picking up for cuddles! kitty very Soft and warm and will purr comfortably in your arms. Pick up kitty. no problems ever when picking up kitty because good weight and size for picking up after surgery.

[kosmogrl]

[chaoticneutralwife]

the next day after exerting myself too much because i felt good for once

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I think more media should narratively punish parents for not listening to their kids and specifically I think it should punish them in cruel and terrifying ways. I want real life parents to go through life with a healthy fear that if they ignore their children's boundaries a witch might cook and eat them

[crtter]

I have a very funny story to share but it requires some context: so, you guys know how Suez was hit by a magnitude 5.0 earthquake yesterday (So far there were no casualties reported, thankfully) and the shockwaves were felt all over Egypt, right? Now, me and my entire family are from Brazil, which is a country that experiences no seismic activity whatsoever, but my dad is currently living in Cairo for work.

With that in mind: my dad was sleeping last night and was woken up by his bed shaking and his closet doors swinging open on their own and his first, immediate thought was “Holy shit, it’s a poltergeist!” and the way his half-asleep brain decided to deal with the situation was by screaming “FUCK OFF GHOST!!! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BITCH!!!” at the top of his lungs.