Absurd Tendencies

[anxietyproblem]

[dogpuppy]

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[pseudomantis]

Scientific fraud is the most baffling thing ever to me like do they think they're just going to make a huge breakthrough and no one will notice that it's fake by trying to replicate their results

[pseudomantis]

Yeah actually I just discovered how to turn plastic into gold. Oh you want to know how I did it

Starts running away cutely

[jonnywaistcoat]

[animentality]

[fireleaptfromhousetohouse]

[kristina100000]

this happens to me every day i dont know how to make it stop

[superioronion]

can we nominate him for the Darwin award

[shadow13dickpistons]

Oh thank God someone explained this.

[bleekay]

[willgrahamscock]

[likepetalswealleventuallyfall]

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

[creepymutelilbugger]

hey guys do you want to circulate the heirloom dancing spiderman again i feel like we could stand to do that

[screenshotsofdespair]

[swagophile]

important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are

[most-sane-classicist]

reblog if you're also lame and weird.

[jovialgnomejpeg]

does anyone else feel kind of slutty refilling soap bottles

[skoomabong]

[jovialgnomejpeg]

[jovialgnomejpeg]

the soap that inspired it all

[littlemousling]

[eatcopperwire]

[ayeforscotland]

Every note in Resident Evil.

[fitnessadvicethatfitsinyourlife]

Drinking soda is better than drinking nothing all day. Eating ice cream for dinner is better than eating nothing for dinner. Eating salsa is better than having no produce in your diet at all.

Water is way more hydrating than soda, but soda is more hydrating than nothing. A balanced meal is way more nutritious than ice cream, but ice cream is more nutritious than nothing.

Something is better than nothing. Some hydration is better than no hydration. Some nutrients are better than no nutrients. Some produce is better than no produce.

Don't let societally imposed food guilt trick you into believing that nothing is a better choice. Nourishing your body, however you can, is always the better choice. Fed is best. Always.

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[valtsv]

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

[valtsv]

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

[valtsv]

marine scientist: what’s your gender?

merperson: what’s a gender

marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?

merperson: i’m merfolk

marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?

merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?

[9lunarseas6-deactivated20240914]

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

[anonymous-lizard]

Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)

Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*

Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

OH MY GOD

[kingfisher-colours]

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

[ace-aussie-asshole]

That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.

[plague-vulture]

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes