Im As Straight As My Parallel Parking.

Queer, Greek and Grumpy.

[artsekey]

mr. Tobias Fox, I would like to establish dominance in the Dreemurr household. The tools are right there.

Let me drink the ketchup.

[snazzy-hats-and-adhd]

So, I stopped and picked up a copy of PHM omw home from work yesterday and WOW

[boldkatte]

[corinthianrm0]

the sillies

[awallflowerdraws]

hail mary, full of grace

[valtsv]

can't stop thinking about how hysterical project hail mary would be from rocky's pov when you consider that, by eridian standards, basic human functioning is simultaneously an incredibly hostile and violently perverted body horror fetish nightmare. imagine you make first contact with an alien and it's an apex predator with an obscene number of orifices, made up mostly of toxic substances that it oozes constantly from said orifices, thrives in an unforgivingly cold and suffocating atmosphere, is highly motivated by searching for its next meal + consumes its food publicly in violation of your society's main taboo, and is capable of rapidly transitioning from vulnerable in sleep to alert and in full possession of its faculties at the slightest change in stimuli. grace is in a heartwarming scifi buddy comedy and meanwhile rocky is bonded with and planning on bringing home his species' equivalent of the xenomorph.

[valtsv]

POV you're welcoming home your planet's heroic saviours

[mikkeneko]

[caats]

[scarabesque-returns]

[sabojude]

[rhaesaria]

[lrndvs]

compliments from girls go hard

[riviclouds]

im sorry but this is what i think of every time i hear this line

[dynamicducks]

From an outsider's perspective: The party has to be one of the weirdest groups you could ever fucking meet. You have

A fucking Vampire

A Man with a god for an ex

A Man who sold his soul to save the families city

Someone raised from birth to serve a false god

Someone brainwashed from childhood to serve the wrong god

A devil's personal champion (Who is also just dancing for fun while hugging her teddy bear)

The Pureblooded child of the god of murder, and I do specify murder here.

A legendary Druid who helped defeat other children of the god of murder

The most legendary and virtuous hero in the history of Baldur's Gate

Minsc

An Achdruid who has presumably fucked the entire animal kingdom

A Drow Exile who would kill a child for shits and giggles.

And in camp there may be

The Pureblooded Child of Selune

Volo, the very same guy from "Volo's Guide" among other wildly powerful stories

Jergal, aka a literal god.

Suffice to say it must be weird as fuck for outsiders to exist around them.

Edit: Forgot to add Halsin+Minthara when I made this. Oops.

Edit 2: Clearing up what I meant with Shadowheart

Honorable, but far more normal mentions

Scratch, the cutest dog in the Forgotten Realms (Fact Checked by Volo)

An Owlbear Cub (Don't ask what happened to his mom)

[ampervadasz]

[bumblebeerror]

THE CASUALNESS OF THAT COLLIE SLIPPING RIGHT OUT OF THEIR COLLAR. That dude is a Willing Participant of this walk and by god everyone else is going to follow the RULES.

[roach-works]

im a fan of the moment where the husky is like 'wait you're not authorized to do that' and the collie is like 'THE FUCK IM NOT'

[spacelazarwolf]

unstoppable force (border collie) vs immovable object (husky)

[one-time-i-dreamt]

And why did the value plummet, Marissa? Why did it plummet?

[red-mercer]

Would like to know how exactly she wouldn't fuck up Netflix or Hulu

[sreegs]

Yahoo thought Tumblr would be the next PDF

Yahoo’s grand plan for Tumblr was to turn it into a “next-generation PDF”

They didn't really get it.

[noctumsolis]

What does that even mean? PDF as in Portable Document Format?

[sreegs]

i cannot stress enough that i dont think yahoo even knew what a pdf was

[virdigrishammer]

you left out the best part of that article. the poor yahoo emplyees at those meetings were just as confused as the rest of us.

[dinottosaurs]

if you work with kids 80% of your job is just this

[brionysea]

I refuse to let you leave this in the tags. fly. be free

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[wild-moss-art]

This is why I read the reddit comments

[awsydawnarts]

[quarterclever]

I love how the notes for this are just chock full of examples of the most batshit specific things people research for their fanfics. Truly a treasure trove.

[quarterclever]

Some of my favorites

[quarterclever]

And my absolute fav

[tonysopranoproskater69420]

lying in front of the street cleaner

[nic0las-uncaged]

did the street cleaner believe you?

[tonysopranoproskater69420]

it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people

[wocko13]

[artsekey]

mr. Tobias Fox, I would like to establish dominance in the Dreemurr household. The tools are right there.

Let me drink the ketchup.