SaboJude @sabojude - Tumblr Blog

hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.

the-big-mood

During a high speed car chase pursuit, the FOX 11 Los Angeles helicopter had an unexpected moment when they spotted a rooster and a chicken casually walking down the sidewalk right in the middle of the pursuit.

reblogmonstah

The fact that they were walking 1-3mph

His joy and whimsy at seeing this

His acknowledgement of it not being as interesting as the chase

His little "huh" cuz you know they told him to focus

oneheadtoanother

tachyon-log

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

fishmech

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

bunniope

can we focus on the gnome for a second

bunniope

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

ladyofspoons

these are the people i have to share a highway with

dragongirlsweetie

i just got shot with a puppy rifle but it didnt hurt me because im not a puppy

aceynk

me i just got shot by an elephant gun but im not even an elephant so im ok

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

i just got shot with a 9mm handgun but i'm ok because i am taller than 9mm

kunosoura

hi! I'm a 9mm tall puppyphant and i'm excited to be here!

puparachne

homunculus-argument

Herding sheep, looking after kids, and playing healer in videogames: every day you're surprised of the sheer innovative genius of how they'll find the most inconvenient goddamn places just outside your reach to get hurt or put themselves in lethal danger.

drafty-castle

Isn’t this sheep in real life?

homunculus-argument

Children in real life also.

homunculus-argument

It. It literally did. That was literally precisely the point.

I have no idea how the hell I could possibly express myself more clearly.

flickering-leaves

The humble Oxford comma

homunculus-argument

IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE.

mylordshesacactus

#you can understand op by using your brain

shower-thoughts-last-responder

When you post on tumblr: every day you're surprised by the sheer innovative genius of the ways they'll find to miss understand you

butterfly-sapphic

It's actually Mrs understand you.

I go by Mrs not miss

missstrogen

If you see this this is your sign to transition. Do it. you'll be happier.

filmnoirsbian

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

filmnoirsbian

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

filmnoirsbian

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

this-is-a-name-dont-worry

gshsjb

prokopetz

They say that sudden, intense cravings for very specific foods are usually a sign of a vitamin deficiency. If so, that I'm presently making myself french toast, scrambled eggs, and a bacon and cheese sandwich at 11:45 PM must mean the vitamin I'm missing is grease.

asteroidtroglodyte

Not to put too fine a point on it but Fat is a macronutrient. Like you need a lot more mass of it every day than all the vitamins combined. Like haha funny post but no really Fat is a nutrient yes your body is craving vitamin grease.

asteroidtroglodyte

lesvegas

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

lesvegas

literally how it feels

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

princncess

thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!