๐ฐ๐ก๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ ๐จ๐๐?
contains: mean!Nate, slow burn,arguing,choking,smut,oral (m & f receives) (p in v)
youโre at Ryanโs in his hot tub. empty beer bottles collected the ground around you. for the past forty minutes, you and Ryan have been giggling drunkenly at absolutely nothing.
your hand falls onto his bare chest, you can tell something has shifted.
youโve been flirty with each other for a while now, even shared a few kisses. when you decided to come over tonight with your bikini, you wondered if anything would escalate. itโs been heading that way, getting closer and closer. now, Ryanโs heart pounds like a heavy drum beneath your palm.
he swallows. "Y/n," he says.
you kiss him. itโs soft at first, like you're both unsure if this is the right move. but then you lean into him, and his hand slides around your lower back.
itโs the first time you've made out with each other. it should feel weird, but it's not.
"nothing," he says. "well... are you and Nate stillโฆ?โ
โno.โ you shake your head. โweโre done, we broke up.โ
right away, you know the answer, but to say it would probably crush Ryan. heโs had a crush on you since forever. it nearly killed him when he found out that you and Nate were dating. that was a year ago. heโs waited patiently, trying his best to be just a friend because you told him that's what you needed.. a friend.
"i don't... i don't really wanna think about him right now," you say.
but this time, all you can think about is Nate. he swims into your head, even after every attempt to kick him out.
kissing Ryan is not the same as kissing Nate, but when you imagine that it is Nate, you kiss Ryan harder and faster.
you reach behind your neck and pull at one of your bikini top strings. Ryan watches with wide eyes as your red top falls around your rib cage, exposing both of your breasts.
he lets out a breath. "holy shit."
"you can touch me if you want," you say.
he gently clasps your breast with his hand and squeezes, gently. you pull him in by the waist under the water and ressume kissing.
it feels good to press your bare breasts against his bare chest.
you moan into Ryanโs mouth, and he laughs, nervously.
"is this okay?" you ask him.
he nods. "can i put my mouth around them?"
you give him permission, and Ryan lowers himself into the water until he's face-to-face with your hardened nipples. he wraps his with your hardened nipples. he wraps his hand around one of them and sucks. you tilt your head back and moan.
"does that feel good?" he whispers.
he focuses on them one at a time, and he goes slowly, which is excruciating.
you guys hear someone driving in the driveway, you and Ryan break apart then shield your eyes from the blinding light.
a car has stopped on Ryanโs property.
the driver's side door opens. a figure steps out and slams the door.
then Nate appears, broad shouldered and clutching his keys.
"what the hell are you doing here, Nate?" Ryan says.
you and Ryan exchange a glance. "why?" you ask.
"because it's important," Nate says.
"get in the car, and you'll find out."
"get the hell out of here." Ryan grabs you by the waist under the water. this time, you're too tense to enjoy it.
Nate glares at you. "letโs go."
"no," you say. "where do i need to go?"
"its Chessa," he says. "Chessa needs you."
"she had me come get you."
when you don't say anything, he adds, "itโs something about a photoshoot. she needs you there."
itโs still suspicious, but you pull away from Ryan with your arm across your breasts and contemplate going. one look from Ryan says he doesn't want you to go. you were having fun, but... Nate drove all the way here.
"youโre going?" Ryan says.
Ryan looks disappointed but lets you go. then he stops you and says, "iโll get it." he climbs out and picks up your little bikini top. your heart pounds wondering what Nate is thinking now, but you can't see him because Ryan is standing in front of you to provide privacy while you put it on.
he helps you out and says goodbye. you stare at him over your shoulder as you walk to Nateโs car. Nate stands there, not moving, until you climb into the passenger seat and shut the door.
for a moment, you think he's going to say something to Ryan that will set everything in motion, but a beat later he turns around and trudges towards you.
Nate doesn't say anything as he starts the engine. his lack of action now is jarring.
you drive through the in the dark with the trees looming over like shadows.
itโs quiet for so long, it makes your skin itch.
"why does Chessa need me?" you ask.
"i don't know, she didn't say." Nate presses his foot down on the gas pedal. ahead, is an empty, dark street with no one around.
"she could have have just called me herself," you say.
silence settles heavily over both of you.
Nate looks over at you with such a wildness, he whips the steering wheel over, too, and you scream.
he redirects the car in enough time, but you hyperventilate, clutching at your chest.
his foot presses harder on the gas. "you heard me."
"i didn't know you were gonna show up."
"what?" he looks at you again.
"no, tell me," he urges. "you took your top off for him because you didn't think i would find out?"
"please, can we not do this--"
Nate slams his hand against the steering wheel, and you jump.
you take a shaky, deep breath to regain calm. "weโre done, Nate. itโs over. remember?"
"you ended it. youโre over it, not me."
your heart cracks. you reach out to him but think better of it.
Nate pulls the car up to the front door of his house.
after he cuts the engine, Nate sits in the driver's seat, in the dark.
"i should probably go inside and.." you pull on the door handle and start to slide out.
"wait." Nate lifts his head. "sheโs not in there."
"well, then where is she?"
"i don't know." he shrugs.
"so then wh--" and then it clicks. "so you lied just for me to come over"
Nate looks at you then he gets out. he slams the door, and the car shakes.
his jaw is clenched as he walks around the front. you hold your breath.
when you step back, you hit the car. the light inside goes off, so now you're bathed in the dark.
Nate stands inches from your face.
"why were you with Ryan?"
you open your mouth then shut it again.
"youโd lose your mind, Nate."
Nate takes in a deep breath. you hang your head. he steps backwards and runs his hands down his face. "fuuuck," he groans.
you feel horrible because Nate was right.
you're the one who ended things. you knew he still wasn't over it.
"whose idea was it for you to take your top off?" he asks.
"mine," you say. that should cushion the blow, right? because if it were Ryanโs idea, Nate would have gotten back in the car and hunted him down.
"why would you do that? why would you take your top off?"
"because you and i aren't dating."
"oh, so what? that means now you can get naked in front of any guy you want?"
"basically." as soon as you say it, you wish you could stuff right back in your mouth.
Nate clamps a hand around your throat so you press back against the car. his breath is loud and shaky. this is usually how he gets before he explodes. still, you're not afraid of him.
"did you have sex with him?"
"that's none of your business."
Nate steps back. he clutches his keys. he stares at you for a moment then starts back for the driver's side.
"wait. Nate, wait, don't--" you run after him and grab his arm with both of your hands.
"stop, stop, stop. look, okay, no. no, i wasn't planning to sleep with Ryan."
Nate stops. for a long time, he's silent.
finally, he raises his head and says, "why did you take your top off?"
"no, you didn't." he shakes his head.
"you didn't tell me why you thought you should take your top off in a hot tub with Ryan."
you flinch. his voice echoes against all the trees.
"because... i wanted to move on. and i was horny. and he was there--"
"iโm gonna fucking kill him."
tears burn your eyes. "can you just take me home?"
"what, so you can go running back to him?
no. you stay here tonight."
the tears fall down your face. "Nate, please.
i didn't do it to hurt you."
"no, but you did. you did. you know why? cause you chose Ryan."
you don't say anything. Nate comes up to you, in your face, and says, "did he. touch you?"
Nate slams his fist against the car behind you. "God damn it!"
you wipe your tears away, but more come.
"I wanna go back there and kill him so fucking bad," he says. "i swear to God, next time I see him--"
"what are you gonna do, Nate?"
"i told you what im gonna do. iโll kill him."
"no, i mean, for the rest of your life? what are you gonna do, hunt down every guy i hook up with because you're still not over it?"
"are you? are you over it?" he grabs your hand, frantically, and places is over his thrashing heart. any moment now, it could burst out of his chest. "can you seriously tell me you're done?"
you burst into more tears, shaking your head.
"i didn't think so," he whispers. his hands fall down your body as he settles onto his knees.
"that's okay." he says this over and over and kisses your stomach over the cloth of your shirt.
he lifts your shirt and kisses your bare stomach. "don't leave me tonight."
you promise to stay. his mouth moves down, over your shorts, right against your clit. your knees weaken.
he stands, and you clutch each other. he lifts you up and carries you inside and up the stairs. in his bedroom, he lets you down, and you stumble, but he catches you and holds you right against him. with every kiss, Nate smiles.
you take your top off, and Nate stops to admire your breasts, but he hesitates to touch them.
"i can't believe he's touched vou," he whispers.
you shut your eyes. his breath tickles your skin.
"i want you to touch me."
Nate shakes his head. "i hate him. i hate him, i hate that."
"Nate." you clasp your hand around his. he keeps shaking his head. "Nate, hey. can we please focus on what's happening right now? forget about Ryan." you lean in to kiss him, to distract him.
you sit on the edge of his bed and wrap your legs around his body. you're open to him and yearning. "i bet you can. why don't you touch me?" you take his hand and drag it up the inside of your bare thigh. "once you start, i promise it'll get easier."
his hand drops. he's like a lifeless doll.
"Nate, come on." now, you're pissed.
"then why'd you take your top off? whyโd you make out with him? why were you at his house--"
"oh my God. seriously? you're this hung up on it, when are you going to get over it? we did not have sex. i'm here now with you."
you scramble up onto your knees and grab him by his face. "i wanna do this with you. please."
his jaw is clenched, and he's stiff as a board.
you kiss down his neck, right where he likes it, and you can feel him relax. his hands come up the sides of your body. you move your mouth down the center of his body until you're the one kissing him over the cloth of his shirt. you tug his jeans down so you can lick him, which always turns him on. he moans and grabs your hair.
when you stop, Nate gasps, "no, don't stop," and he claws at your body. he's hard, and he's throbbing, and he wants you.
he sweeps you down onto the bed and climbs on top.
his breath is heavy. frantically, he gets undressed. his eyes never leave your body as you open yourself to him.
he undoes your bikini top and tosses it on the floor, as far away as possible, and comes down on one of your nipples with his mouth.
you moan because itโs Nateโs mouth.
he reaches between your bodies and massages your clit. youโre already throbbing under him, his touch is like lightning striking your body. he writhes against you.
"did Ryan touch your here?" he whispers.
Nate slides his hand under your bikini bottom and pushes his fingers inside. you gasp louder, and he grunts in response.
"you didn't cum for him, did you?"
if he wasn't making you feel so good, you'd be insulted. you shake your head and let out a whimper.
he sucks the skin on your neck, hard enough to leave a mark.
"only i know what you sound like when you cum, yeah?"
Nate pulls his fingers out. he strokes himself, even though he couldn't be harder, and then he grabs one of your legs to keep you still while he pushes inside of you. he lets out a shaky breath when he gets all the way in. you wrap your limbs around him and whimper.
he doesn't build up to it. he pulls almost all the way out then slams right back in.
youโre so sensitive, it makes you cry out.
it encourages Nate, and he goes fast, which brings out every noise inside you. his name slips from your mouth several times. he breathes in your ear to make sure you know what you're doing to him.
his back muscles move under your hands. he doesn't slow down.
"we shouldn't be doing this," you say.
he kisses you between heavy breaths, once, twice, then curses under his breath, he's already close.
and then it hits you. before tonight, you'd gone from not having talked to Nate since your break up months ago to having sex in his room. "Nate," you say.
its like you've snapped out of a trance.
he slows, trying to catch his breath.
"what?" itโs like his body is it's own entity because he waits for you to say something, but his hips keep thrusting into you, as though they're saying, just one more, just one more... just... one... more...
"this is really not a good idea."
"weโre already doing it."
"neither of us has came yet." and as long as neither of you have came, this doesn't count. right?
he stops and looks at you. you scramble out of his bed and slip back into your bikini.
he watches, his chest rising up and down.
"Y/n," he says. he reaches out to you.
despite the voice in your head nagging you to run, run right now, you let him take your hand and pull you in between his legs. his body is warm, and he's still hard. he ducks his head against your bare skin, and his breath tickles your stomach.
he doesn't move. you try to pry yourself free from his embrace, but you're smiling so hard, your cheeks hurt. finally, you give up.
eventually, he'll have to let you go.
after several minutes of stillness, Nate curls his finger around the front of your bikini bottom.
you giggle and push his hand away.
he smiles. then he lifts the same finger and tugs at your bikini bottom string so it actually comes down.
"Nate." you pull it back up, but God, just that touch from him felt so good.
his forehead is against your stomach. your legs are on either side of his thigh. he moves you so you sit in his naked lap with his dick between your bodies. despite it all, you kiss him. your mouths open, his tongue finds yours. when he's like this, the kissing is sloppy and slow and sensual, and you could do this forever with him.
he moves his hand up your thigh, up your stomach, over your breast, and he sweeps your hair back to pull you in by the neck.
the feeling of him pressing against you, knowing that he's right there, and he's like this because it's you, makes you give in.
this time, you're both too frantic for you to get back out of your bathing suit.
Nate pulls your bottoms aside just enough for you to slide onto him. he clutches your hips as you readjust to him.
you slowly roll your hips against him, and he moans. itโs deep and gutteral, how he sounds when you hit the perfect spot.
"oh, God." he squeezes your breast.
you go a little faster. Nate grabs a fistful of your hair behind you and pulls. when you gasp in pain, he doesn't seem to notice.
with his eyes shut, he begs you to go faster.
you don't since he's holding so tight.
but Nate gets fed up. he grabs you by your hips and bounces you against him. he grabs you by your hips and bounces you against him. he moans with every thrust, like he's using your body to get off.
you wrap your arms around his neck so his head is nuzzled close to your chest.
Nateโs legs are bent and go up and down with your body. when he gets too weak, he lies back on his elbows and watches you.
"you don't do this for anybody else," Nate says.
"this is the last time you and i are doing this."
Nate tries to grab your waist, but he weakens and falls back. "fuck."
just to piss him off, you say, "if i wanna have sex with Ryan, i will."
Nate pushes his hips up into you as you bounce on him. "no, no, no."
"mmmhmm," you moan. you clench your walls around him, and he jolts. his hand clamps down on your thigh. "if i have Ryan to fuck, i won't need you."
"no, no, no, you stay here," he says. he groans viscerally. "shit. shit."
"fuck, then stop doing that."
"what?" you clench around him again.
you grin but stop. you move up and down on him and massage your clit over your bikini. Nate watches, cursing under his breath, praising you. "are you close?" he whispers.
he pulls your breast out from your bikini top. his breath is hot against your hardened nipple. "i don't know if i can hold it." this time, when he swirls his tongue around your nipple, it sends a crippling bolt of pleasure all through your body. you cry out, and Nateโs breath heavies into a panic.
"shit, shit, shit." you feel it; the warmth of his cum spreading everywhere inside of you.
Nate takes over massaging your clit, and it sends you over the edge.
you move up and down on him without trying, your head thrown back, crying. Nate finishes cumming and catches his breath, but as you come down, you pulse around him, and he cums again.
he gasps for air like he's been holding his breath under water. "oh God, oh God, oh God." he kisses up your body, rakes his fingers through your hair, and pulls your open mouth into his.
heโs still inside of you, and even when your mouths break apart, he keeps you against him, looking down at himself inside of you.
Nate holds your hand. "wait." he pulls you in so he can wrap his arms around your body.
your hearts bump against one another's in the silence and stench of sex.
this time, he does, but he kisses you again on the lips, long and soft. "donโt go back to him. please."
you whisper against his lips. "bye, Nate."
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