[coffee-khaleesi-deactivated2020]

When I was training to be a battered women’s advocate, my supervisor said something that really blew my mind:

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”

Any now whenever anyone in my life, either a friend or a client, frustrates me, disappoints me, or pisses me off, I just tell myself They are doing their best. Their best isn’t that great today, but I have days where my best isn’t that great either. 

[yesdarlingido]

this. everytime. this. 

[the-busy-ghost]

How do people get to own secondhand bookshops. Not the big/newer quirky ones, but the little dusty ones that are piled high with books and always staffed by that same old guy who’s reading behind the desk. How do these businesses even begin, how do they survive, they feel like they were passed down by immortals and staffed by retired druids or something

[imanaires]

perfect couple: one person has cold hands, the other has warm hands. together, they maintain the ideal temperature for hand holding

[tharook]

relationship goals: thermodynamic equilibrium

[tharook]

[walks up to a couple] so which of you is the source and which is the sink?

[bitchycode]

[hellomynameisscreams-deactivate]

me: *sees stars and points at them* yes

person: what?

me: *sounding more forceful* YES

[poochcrew]

[teamrocketing]

what a beautiful wedding

[femcassidy]

hey fellas last night i took a medication which is more or less the anxiety equivalent of a horse tranquilizer & essentially enterred the fifth dimension of sleepwalking in which i awoke but enterred a dissociative fit so strong i was really confused why my loving girlfriend was not my good friend and fellow viking bjorn, who i had to bring some furs to. also i might’ve cried about this. don’t remember

[femcassidy]

was informed i left out the best part of this 3am experience which was the bit where i, in tears, gestured to our dog and shouted, “i don’t know what this is!”

[suckindeathsdick-deactivated201]

bruh you astral planed so hard you fell back into a past life

[armandyke]

So Civil War takes place over like one weekend and then Black Panther takes place over the following 5 days or so which means all in all it was a hell of a fucking week for T’Challa

[mikkeneko]

Prince T’Challa and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Week

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Bucky: How long was I out? Years? Decades? Is Steve still alive? :(

Shuri: More like…a week.

Bucky: You fixed me in a week?!

Shuri: Yeah, it took me a while. We had this family thing last week and I was kinda busy.

[anxiousyetepic]

Bucky: You fixed me in a week?

Shuri:

[angelsguideher]

I had a dream I was watching keeping up with the kardashians and Kylie had gotten cyborg legs like they had taken the legs of an AT-ST from Star Wars and put them on her lower half so she was like 11 feet tall and Kim was like “I think Kylie’s new legs are SO fun..”

[midnightcowg1rl-deactivated2020]

I literally think about this post every day

[penicillium-pusher]

my counselor: how are you doing?

me: good, how are you?

my counselor: good, what brings you in today?

me: im doin real bad karen

[usbdongle-deactivated20200531]

italians invented pizza but the citizens of the US of A perfected it. ruined it. emboldened it. it’s iconic now. i cant tell you how many european tourists beg me to point them to a restaurant that doesn’t serve pizza. they’ve been on the road 10 days and had pizza 12 times. it’s nigh inescapable. a radical specter haunting the wallets and stomachs of the united states. a cheesemaggedon. a saucepocalypse. surrender to the tides of stuffed crust and you may yet survive

[swarnpert]

i didnot know what prose was until i read this post

[weirdmonsterling]

my body may be a temple but i am the god to whom it is devoted

do not presume to tell me how i may decorate my altar

[diviningtheway]

This is quite possibly the best way I’ve heard to say “I dress how I want, deal with it” There needs to be more things like this

[thefirstdayofhalloween]

Can u believe there are plants that are illegal Plants

[mylourrydiary]

Can you believe there is love that is illegal Love

[w-for-wumbo]

can you believe it’s not butter butter

[tardis-mind-palace]

the fact that Tumblr can fit weed, bestiality and diary products all into one post doesn’t even phase me anymore

[monopx]

i really dont think they meant bestiality

[usbdongle-deactivated20200531]

im in love with the concept of Las Vegas like i know in reality theres a lot of things shitty and bad about it but im in love with the idea of a capital of debauchery existing in a blisteringly hot desert 2 hours away from a nuclear weapon test site. it’s so bizarre and horrific and tacky i can’t help but loving the idea of it

[catbountry]

It’s so American.

[nyahgust]

straight guys are absurd. i once asked one if they’d kiss a boy for $50,000 and they said no. at that point it’s not even gay it’s just the best option

[it-is-a-perfect-world-and-we-are]

[theybby-deactivated20231001]

My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail. She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.

My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia. She’s going places.

[chrissongzzz]