Shit, when did I become a runner? 3.1 at 31

One woman's path to running 10 5k before she turns 32.

[idonthaterunning]

Updates

It’s been a while my dear readers. I hate to admit that I haven’t had a lot of time to write. In my life lately things have been full speed ahead. There were a few things that prompted me to write this post, not just because I am behind in posts, but because I really think my life has changed so much since I started this journey in January. Wow, can you believe that? It’s been 11 months. This morning I ran my 9th 5k. It was a doozy. I have race reviews coming for my last four races soon. However last night was a real eye opener on things have have changed in my life. On the night before my 2nd 5k, my ex was a huge jerk to me. I don’t remember what happened, and honestly I don’t care to remember. However, I know that I was up late crying and the next day I ran one of my worst races to date. I don’t mean time wise the worst race ever, because my worst race time ever was actually one of my favorite race experiences. However, my head was not in the game. My Gazelle Girl 5k was awful. Last night, I was in bed talking on the phone with my new boyfriend, and I was thinking about how much my life has changed. Yes, for all you Nosy Nancy’s I do have a new boyfriend, we have been dating for just over two months and he is amazing. He is funny and smart and most important, kind. I think about the first time I ran in 2018. I had gone to Planet Fitness and decided that I was going to run. I got on a treadmill with absolutely no knowledge of what I was doing. I ran about 20 minutes of interval training and it was sloppy. 

I was telling my awesome coworker A about how every new years, I theme the upcoming year. In 2017 was supposed to be the year of fiscal responsibility. It was supposed to be the year I got my shit together. My ex and I had a wedding to pay for. I’m serious, we were planning on getting married. When we went and visited my parents in February of 2017, he suggested that we get married while we were there. I thought that we were going to be together forever and that all the problems we had in the past, all the lying and fighting would end once were closed the distance and lived together. When he decided not to move in, 12 hour before we supposed to sign a lease together, 2017 went from the year of fiscal responsibility to “2017- Get me out of this dumpster fire.” The rest of 2017 was a mess, emotionally, physically after I broke my ankle, and financially. 2018 was the year of forward progress and I wasn’t going to let that shit from the year before hold me back. I didn’t want to keep gaining weight. I didn’t want to keep losing the battle with depression.  I didn’t know what progress was going to look like. It turned out to be running.

I haven’t been running as much in the second half the year as the first. My training time really got cut down. The crazy thing about having a partner who actually wants to see you, is that suddenly you both before very busy. I’ve also been teaching a class this semester at my university which I have loved and I have been very lucky to do. I went to a conference in October. I have a group of women in my life that I play DnD with. Sometimes we just hang out and knit or talk. It’s November, which is National Novel Writing Month, and this month I will be writing 50 thousand words in a mystery novel I’ve been dreaming up for months. My non-biological sister has been kicking butt since buying a house and its been cool to be on the sidelines helping and cheering her on when needed. At the start of the year running was filling a gap in my life that has since been filled by races, new friends, experiences and an amazing partner. If you would have asked me a year ago what I thought today would look like, this isn’t what I would have told you. However, this is so much better than anything I could have imagined.

<3 more to come soon!

[idonthaterunning]

Race Review - 4th and 5th 5ks

I just finished my 6th 5k, which will have its own race review in a few weeks. 

However, I wanted to make sure I got my last set of race reviews done. Without anymore delay, here are races four and five. 

I am half way done my most lovely readers. We are at the very top of the hill, looking down the other side. Five 5ks completed and five more to go.

The crazy thing is, I’ve been worried there won’t be enough time to actually complete these races! I wanted to get 10 done before I turn 32 but damn, maybe I shouldn’t have taken July off. 

I think I have everything planned with September picking up the slack from some of the previous months, so I am not going to lose hope. This is my goal.

Race 4th - Brian Diemer Family of Races 5k June 8th

weather: rainy. so so rainy. and cold.  official time: 37:01.04 Pace: 11:56 Overall place: 948 of 1163 Overall in Female 30 to 34 division: 69 of 86 Overall among all female runners: 426 of 591 Summary: So, in typically Mary fashion, it was race day and of course, the weather turns to shit. Rainy and cold. 

I feel like my time was pretty good for this race. 37:01 is only about 30 seconds slower than my first race, which is currently my personal best. However, this race was full of much better runners than me, when you look at the breakdown, I came around in about the last 5th of the runners overall.

I was excited to run this race because it was JUNE! yay! Warmer weather.

No. it rained. The whole race. I have never run in the rain before and it was fucking cold.

I am curious if the rain drove away the less serious runners. You know, the less serious runners, the people who would have come in behind me. Or am I just really a back of the pack runner.

My friend who is a much better runner than me asked if I had everything I needed to run in the rain. I asked her what she had with her. Turns out she had a towel in the car, and a hoodie to change into, extra shoes and socks.

I had a hat on. That was about it. Well, in addition to my running clothing.

Honestly, I thought it wasn’t going to rain. I thought it was going to blow over, but nope. It literally started raining the second the race started and it pretty much rained the whole time through. I didn’t wear any of my warmth gear because I thought it would be fine. I thought about bring my green wool mitts that I had been wearing for my cold weather runs.

Despite the cold, I liked this race. It reminded me a lot of my very first race, which was the Irish Jig. It was really flat.

There was an really old man running this race who wore a shirt that said “I run with Jesus”. Don’t worry I passed him.

We ran though a smaller neighborhood and we were supposed to vote for the different bands located around the course. However most of the bands were set up because of the rain. There was a really kick ass Irish group that was out partying despite the rain.

I would run this race again. 

Race 5 - Dearborn Homecoming 5k - August 5th

weather: HOT! SO HOT! official time: 37:38.2 Pace: 12:08 Overall place: 160 of 230 Overall in Female 30 to 34 division: 12 of 23 Overall among all female runners: 70 of 121

Summary: This is by far the smallest race I have ever run and I really liked it. I mean look at where I placed! I mean, I am like in the middle-ish. I mean technically the middle would have been like 115, but I was pretty close-like! Close enough I could throw a rock at the middle. If I had a better throwing arm. Either way! SO CLOSE TO THE MIDDLE! 

I was almost the middle of my age division. 

In some ways, I was much smarter this run too. This was a “lollipop course” (that was the announcer’s word, not mine). In which we run out for a mile, had a mile loop and then coming back the same route. I paid a lot of attention to the course on the way out because there was several big down hills on the way, which I used to pick up speed.  On the way back, those were up hills. Obviously. 

I knew where the uphill pieces were so I used those as my walk breaks. I used other people as pacers and I did take several small walking breaks. For the last .25 of a mile, I ran all out. I used my energy well. 

This was a race where I spent a lot of time watching other runners making the mistakes I made in my second 5k - The Gazelle Girl race. It’s the hills! So many people tried to run up the hills who were running my pace. There was this old guy who was determined not to let me pass him. I think he was using me as competition. However, he ran during my walks. while I was walking up a hill, he tried to run past me. However, he wasn’t the only person who did something dumb this race.

I was also really dumb. Do you know what dehydration feels like? It feels like being hung over. Well actually first you feel light headed, and like you want to vomit. You then wander around a parking lot until you get in your car and you safely make it back to your parents house. You take a shower and a nap. THEN you feel like you are hung over. Honestly, it is worse then being hung over.

Don’t be a dumbass, properly hydrate during the summer months (I say this while drinking water). It got up to the mid 90s on that day too, thankfully when i finished we had not yet broke into the 80s.

This was also my first race after a month off of running and I felt it. My legs were dying, I started to get a pain in my knee and I was just struggling towards that last half mile. 

I do like that I was only 30 seconds slower than my 4th race, with almost no running for a month in there.

Look at this cute picture I took of myself after the race. I’m dripping in sweat. 

[idonthaterunning]

July race update.

So, the truth of the matter is, I didn’t run a race in July. At all. Not one race. I still have to complete six 5ks before December 10th.

I actually barely ran at all in July. Honestly, I think i did maybe three runs all month.

So, you might be wonder “Whats going on? Did you give up on your goal?”

Fuck no.

Of course not. I am just giving myself some grace and flexibility in training.

I was struggling with the three or four runs a week I was trying to manage. Along with dating, seeing my friends, writing, taking vacations, taking care of my health, fitting running in was getting hard on me.

So this really was a month without running. I didn’t intent to take this month off. I tried to schedule a 5k but it was always during a vacation. I actually ran while camping in Canada with my parents, but when I got back, I realized I needed a rest.

What did I learn during my break from running?

1. I miss running. I really do. Running is a time when I can be alone with my thoughts. Really, it’s the only time I can really be alone with my body. When I am running I don’t think about how I look, I think about how I feel. I think about how my feet are hitting the ground. I take note of the pains, and twitches. I breathe. I sweat. I’ve missed being at home with my body.

Since I’ve been running and losing weight, I’ve looked at myself more. I’ve wondered “Am I attractive?” “Will someone think I am beautiful?” “Do you need to work harder to be different?” “Will I only find someone if I am thinner?” That was the thing about being with someone for four years. I didn’t care what he thought anymore. He knew me at my heaviest and my thinnest. In a beautiful dress with a face full of makeup standing up at someone’s wedding giving a toast like a boss. He had also seen me in sweatpants and an old bleach stained Hogwarts sweatshirt, laying on the couch going through a bought of cramps. I honestly didn’t care because I thought that I was loved unconditionally.

Being single is looking again and being looked at again. Doubting again. Wondering how soon is too soon to wear the old Hogwarts sweatshirt?

The voices aren’t loud, and they aren’t always there. Most of the time, when I am out I don’t hear those voices because I am too busy enjoying myself and enjoying the other person. It’s when I am alone, at night standing in front of a mirror that there are the whispers.

Running is a break from that. There are no doubts. There is only my feet, in my ugly pink shoes, hitting the ground.

I miss being aware of my body without being judgmental of my body and I need running in my life for that.

2. I can stay healthy without running. So, I’ve written about weight loss. I’ve written about my body changing. The thing I’ve been most nervous about is gaining weight during my running break. I did gain two pounds back, but that was it. 

Overall I am eating better. I was talked into buying an Instant Pot on Prime day and I’ve been eating better for the second half the month.

In truth, I’ve missed cooking. When I lived in Bloomington, I felt like cooking all the time. I experimented with baking and flavors. I have my own sourdough starter. My Hufflepuff friends and I would videochat while I cooked and we called it my cooking show. My brother gave me his foundation cooking text books and I was ready to learn. Well, then shit happened. So much shit happened. 

I really lost the love for food. I’ve gotten to cook for others lately and it has reminded me how much food matters. I like making food for people. The food might not always be amazing. It might not always be perfect. But it is a way to show someone you care about them and their well-being. From breakfast, to chili, to a pasta salad at a pot luck, it’s been a great way to show love and caring, even to oneself.

3. I’m busy!  Holy shit. I am busy. I didn’t think I was busy before. I thought that I spent most of my free time laying around and listening to audiobooks. However July was insane. I started several new sewing projects. I went on two vacations to Canada. I went to several work events including the alumni tailgate at Comerica Park. 

What else have I been up too? Writing, reading, working, sewing, you name it.

I’ve been working on organizing my life, my apartment and my mind. Things have been really good.

I’ve been on dates, which has been new, wonderful, exciting and scary all at once.

I’ve been out with friends. My awesome women’s group hasn’t been meeting very often, but we have gone out together. It was so nice to be with them and to be around them.

My non-biological sister figure bought a house at the start of the month and I’ve over at her place a few times. Less to help, and more to distract her from her actual work. 

I’m glad I’ve had some time for the people and things in my life.

4. My health is important. 

I write a fair bit about my mental health because I feel like it is important for people to know that everyone has struggles. 

July has been great because I’ve gotten to sort through a lot of the baggage in my head. Running has been great from my mental health, but it hasn’t really allowed me to pick through the rubble in my brain. I would say that running is like moving boulders, you make a ton of progress but the smaller bits get left behind. I am questioning why I have that idea, or why I feel that way. Why am I defensive about this? Why am I so sensitive to that?

Honestly, dating has made a difference too. It’s made me stop and say “What do I want?” And more importantly “Why did/do I want this?” I’ve gotten the chance to look at my assumptions and beliefs about people and relationships. I feel like I am making great strides.

However, my health is about more than just my mental health. I’ve been pretty quiet about this but this summer I’ve been to the doctors a lot. I’m not sure how much or how little to share, mainly because I don’t have the answers yet.

Starting back in January or February, maybe even before, I was getting intense bouts of stomach pain. There is more to it than just stomach pain, but it is the easiest part to talk about.

This spring it had gotten to the point where I was in too much pain from my stomach to work. I’d have to leave work early, or ask my coworkers to cover for me as I huddle in an office trying to get control of myself. In April, I had to cancel my runs so I could rest. 

It’s been embarrassing and stressful. In the back of my mind I am always worried that my stomach will start hurting in the middle of the work day. Or on a date. During a race. Or while on vacation. I try not to occupy myself with what could be wrong.

I just know that I am doing all I can.

I’ve had blood work done and CT scans done. I’m going in for a EGD test and a colonoscopy mid-August. I’m trying not to worry about it with varying degrees of success.

July is over and it has been a great month, for everything expect running.

However, August has started and tomorrow is my fifth 5k. I am running in the Dearborn Homecoming 5k. It’s going past the museum I used to Volunteer at.

I plan on running one in September with my amazing college friend, who running has joyfully brought back into my life.

I’ve got October on the calendar with a run with my mother and aunt-figure at the Henry Ford Museum, another museum I used to work at.

November, I am going to get a turkey trot in there somewhere.

I need two more races before December 10th and I’m going to find them because I am not giving up. 

[idonthaterunning]

Stretch, Strength and Sexuality - Finding the Balance

Back in January, I was at the gym with my good friend, and non-biological sister figure. She had done some yoga recently and was telling me how much she enjoyed it. I, on the other hand, struggle with yoga. She was discussing the concept that some people are naturally strong, while others are naturally flexible. She placed herself on the flexible side and I put myself on the strong side things.

I’ve always placed myself on the strong side of just about everything. I try to be emotionally strong. I try to be strong for other people. I try to be physically strong when needed. I think one of the reasons I’ve been a bridesmaid so many times is because I am strong under pressure. This strength, in the past, has probably manifested in codependent relationships. Don’t worry, I’m in therapy for that.

Interestingly enough, I am really not that strong physically. I wish I was stronger, I am shocked at how little my legs can press on the leg press machine at the gym. When I was in Roller derby, I could easily leg press 150 pounds. Now...not so much.

I am also not that flexible either. Yes, I stretch before and after running. I have a form roller and I roll around like a fool. I have made a bigger effort to include stretching in my life. I stretch in bed in the morning. I stretch at work, and my coworkers are not surprised to see me limbering up in the offices. We have standing desks which allow me to stretch my back. However, stretching has NOT made be flexible.

Running has made a lot of changes in my life. I am more physically fit now that I have been since moving from Bloomington, Indiana two and a half years ago. Back then I was going to the gym 3 days a week and meeting with a personal trainer twice a month. I was spending a lot of money on being fit. I hate to admit that the only reason I was working so hard back then was be attractive to my partner, find a way to fill my free time and be a hot bridesmaid in wedding number 6.

Today, due to running and some awesome fitness challenges I’ve done with my stellar co-worker, I am down 20 pounds in less than 8 months. I can run further and faster than I ever could, even including high school. My waist size keeps dropping and my legs are in great shape.  Amazingly enough, my once broken ankle is back down to the size of my non-broken ankle. I’ve done all this for me, and only me.

YAY!

However, not everything is perfect. Obviously, or I wouldn’t be writing a post about this.

The thing is, I don’t have a runner’s body. Someone I know ran a 5k in 34 minutes, with almost no training in over a year! Keep in mind, I have been training for 5 months and I am struggling to get under 37 minutes. I’m so jealous.

The running hasn’t really made me flexible either. It’s made me more defined in some areas but not flexible. My stellar coworker keeps inviting me to yoga with her, and I should totally go. Because it would be fun and we would probably get ice cream after. But the idea of struggling through the poses makes me uncomfortable.

Running has actually made me more emotionally ridged. I am less wibbly on how I feel about things. I started running as a way to deal with fear, neglect, and sadness. Those were emotions were some of the main player in my life back in January. Now, I’d say it’s determination, humor and maybe hope? Hope that I will accomplish the goals I have set out for myself.

Fear is still there but I plan on knocking that asshole out of here soon too.

So where does sexuality play into all of this? I find myself looking in the mirror more since I’ve been running. I’ve been trying to track the changes that I can see in my body. Yet, I don’t know how those changes are making me feel.

I’m not a beautiful runner. I am a gross and sweaty runner. Oddly enough, finishing a run is one of the time I feel most beautiful. Sweat dripping off me and when I look in the mirror after a run, while I still see all the imperfections, I see the success. Success is sexy.

Yet, with that sexiness and confidence comes another round of insecurities that I wasn’t planning on feeling.

As I said, I don’t have a runners body. I have huge hips. I am not slim, nor will I ever be slender. This was something that I had accepted about my body. High school was really hard for me because none of my friends had a body shape like mine. They were all on the slender side and I was on the “German-birthing-hips, broad-shoulders-take-me-to-raise-a-barn” side. I did not share clothing with my high school friends. I felt weird going to the mall with them because we were shopping in different sections.

I think I developed an eating disorder my senior year of high school, however, I knew I had a full blown issue during my first semester in college. I have some pictures hidden away of the skeleton i was slowing becoming. It was hidden by the fact that I was doing Colorguard and I was physically active often. However, I also wasn’t eating. I had dropped at least 15 pounds in 3 months of college.

My second semester, through the support of my friends I got my shit back together and returned to a healthy weight. In college, I met more woman with my body type. I had friends that would let me borrow their clothing. They made wide hips a thing of beauty. I dated men who liked my proportions.

However, running has messed a lot of that self-assurance up. Running has reminded me that I am not slim, and it has not been nice about it. Running leggings are not flattering on me but they are the most reasonable and practical thing to wear when running. Honestly, I have been so embarrassed about my last run picture, which I am partly in love with, partly appalled by, because I think my hips look huge.

My stellar coworker was like “You’re crazy, you don’t have a huge ass in the photo. It’s a photo from the front and you are smiling and being a bad ass.”

Then I am all “Boo whoooo but....” and she is like “Stop, your ridiculous.” She is right. I am being ridiculous.

Since being single, I also don’t have someone else telling me I am beautiful and reminding me that I am already enough. Now I look in the mirror and think “Will anyone ever love you with how you look?” A side of me hates that I want someone else to tell me I am beautiful. It is probably because I am not used to this version of me.

It’s a terrible feeling. It really is.

How can something that makes me feel so strong, also make me feel so insecure? Where can I find the stretch and flexibility in myself to love my body as it is? When will I stop being so hard on myself?

I am not sure how to answer these questions yet. I am sure with time and more running I will find these answers.

[idonthaterunning]

What is happening with Mary.

I’m very overdue for a blog post.

I’ve got so many unfinished drafts and I come up with great ideas for writing but as I write, the threads unravel. So this post is an attempt at weaving together several of those ideas into it’s own tapistry.

I finished my 4th 5k in June with a final time of 37:01, which is only 10 seconds slower than my current personal best. So I’m getting faster, but I am still frustrated I’m not fast. In typical Mary fashion, the weather sucked during my run. It was my first run in the rain. I have this great photo of me finishing the race, which I will share with all of you at some point.

I’ve made some pretty big decisions in the last month, and my life is shifting quicker than I know what to do with.

I interviewed for a Job in Indiana, and I actually have been asked to come back for a second interview. However, during this process, I have discovered that where I want to be, is where I am. This is kind of a shocker for me because since I was 18, I’ve always wanted to be somewhere other than I was. When I lived in Bloomington, I wanted to be in Chicago. When I was Muncie, I wanted to be in Arizona. When I was in Detroit, I wanted to be where ever my Ex was. For a while, I didn’t want to be in Grand Rapids, mainly because I moved here to be with someone who didn’t want to be with me.

However, now I know I want to be in West Michigan. I like it here. I’m 2 hours from my family. I have a community here. I have a group of awesome women I hang out with (once-ish a week) who have been an amazing support system. I don’t use the word blessed lightly, because I’m not religious. However, I will say I was blessed to get to know them and have them accept me.

Grand Rapids has my non-biological sister figure living here with her amazing dog, whom i get to dog sit. I’m looking forward to what this summer will hold for us as I help her with her new house renovations and we prepare for our yearly 30 mile hike. I have a writing community who is awesome.

Another decision I have made, is that I want to be publication ready in the next year. What am I going to have ready to publish? I don’t know yet. But I know it will come to me. I have hundreds of ideas, its just getting them on paper. I’ve been very lucky because my writing community has been super informative, specifically my friend Jason, who thus far has been my get-ready-to-publish-educational Sherpa.

I’m starting to date again, or at least trying to, maybe not succeeding. It’s nice to know that my heart wasn’t so damaged by the past that I can’t let new people in. For a long while, I didn’t want to meet other people. I was disappointed with everyone I met. I can’t tell you how many phone calls I had with my dad, where i told him I don’t think I could ever care for someone, anyone again. He, in my typical dad fashion, would just say “Well, many people are alone and perfectly happy. It’s not for everyone.”

Since I am planning on staying in the area, I’ve decided to give myself one more year at my job. The Indiana job I applied for was really appealing in many ways, but there were several things keeping me from it. Honestly, the job would be so much easier than what I am doing now, but I’m committed. I like my coworkers, I have students who need me, and I am being given more and more tasks that suit me as an individual and educator. I am going to be teaching again this fall for the first time in 6 years and I am really excited.

So that is my life update, but what does this have to do with running? Well, as you can probably guess, running has been on the back burner for me. However, it is still cooking. I need to get my July race planned, and I’ll feel better once that is together. July is a hard month for me to find time. I am going to Canada twice. I know that I’ll be able to do some trail running when i go with my parents but its different getting a run in when I am with my friends.

I am looking forward and feeling stressed but also super empowered. Mainly because I know I can figure this all out. I’ve done some really hard and scary things in the last year and a half and I think whatever is in front of me I can handle.

It makes me think about something I learned in April during Gazelle Girl training. When you are running, you need to run into oncoming traffic. Not in the road, but in the direction of oncoming traffic. That way you can see what is coming towards you. You don’t want cars rushing past you from behind because that is how runners get clipped.

I have been running with traffic since January and I’ve been trying to outrun things. I finally let some of those thing hit me, and knock me down. My fear of losing my ex, my fear of not knowing where I am supposed to be, or what I’m supposed to do, the idea no one will ever love me again. Those things have hit me, knocked me on my ass, and sped past.

So now I’m getting up and running towards that scary things, instead of away. The future. Well, really more like the mechanics of how to get where and what I need, but, you know what I mean, you get it.

[idonthaterunning]

New to Running? Step 3

Learn your limitations and then smash them.

I can’t speak for all runners out there, but I really do believe that if you are running for your first 60 seconds, or you are running your 100th 25k, knowing your limits is important.

Then you can smash the shit out of those limits. I mentioned it a few posts ago that at the Riverbank Run, I stayed much later after my race, (but not at the after party) and cheered for everyone coming through the race. I stationed myself outside the downtown university clock tower and just “Woooooo”ed for 2 hours. 

I stayed because I wanted to watch the mechanics of how other people ran, but I also wanted to support those people. Every person who ran past me had the same expression on. It was a combination of annoyance, and determination, with a hint of exhaustion “please kill me now” attitude.

I know that expression. I make that expression.

However, everyone running that 25k was smashing some type of limitation. They can be physical limitations, time limitations, mental limitations. Everyone was pushing themselves against an invisible barrier. 

You better believe that is totally worth “WOOOOOing” for two hours!

That is what running is. That is what becoming a runner is a nutshell. Learning to push that barrier. You will plant your shoulder firmly against it and knock that shit down time and time again. Like roller derby, but without the roller skates

This applies to more than just 25k runners. 

If you are literally just starting running, you are pushing that same barrier. 

In January, running for 90 seconds was hard. I dreaded when the two minute walking break was over and I had to bust ass for another 90 seconds.

In February, i did my first outdoor run, and it was like i hadn’t been training at all.

The thing is, some days your limitations win. Some days you can’t go farther. Some days you can’t go faster. Some times days turn into weeks and your staring at a wall wondering where all your progress is?

The progress is the fact that you ran at all. You ran through a slump.

Sometimes, that is all you can do.

Progress is tiny tick marks on a cave wall. Progress is breathing through the pain. Progress is getting up every day and figuring out how to keep going.

I’m trying to push limits. I’ve made two attempts to run 10k on the treadmill. I hit the four mile marker and fall apart. My knees keep giving out.

It’s so discouraging.  

Sometimes, the only thing you can do, is lace up your shoes and keep running.

I’m hitting walls other places in my life, not running based. My cousin’s wife passed away last week. It’s been really hard. We weren’t super close. Honestly, we only got close-ish the weekend before at a surprise birthday party. She was only 36. 

I’m only 31. I’m running a race this weekend and missing her memorial service. I’m not going to be with my family, and that is hard.

I know my limitations, and I am going to break them.

I am going to run that 10k someday. I am going to get stronger.

I am going to run this weekend in memory of Robin.

[idonthaterunning]

Running in a vacuum

For the last week I’ve been trying to write a blog post about how isolating running has been for me.

I started 3 different posts about this topic. Each post felt super negative. Some posts I bitched about how slow I am. Or how fat I am compared to the college kids I’m around at the gym. One post was complaining about how I rarely go out anymore.

Those drafts are just sitting as in my bin, waiting to be picked apart, where I’ll harvest the witty lines and let the rest rot.

The thing is, I don’t want to blog to be about the shitty parts of running. I don’t believe running is a shitty thing.

Lately, I’ve felt really shitty about running. So its been hard to want to write about running until this afternoon.

This afternoon I spoke on the phone with one of my really good college friends, whom I haven’t seen in roughly 4 years. The last time she and I spoke on the phone she was pregnant with her son, who is now almost two and a half. I’ve not be the best friend at times.

You know how you have those friends in your life, that it might be years since you’ve talked but the second you do, its like nothing has changed? Yeah, that is what that phone call was like for me.

However, something really really valuable I got from our phone call was that my issues with running, are not mine alone. 

I’ve been struggling with how time consuming running is. I am supposed to be doing 4 runs a week. 4 runs a week!!! That is over half of my week dedicated to running and sweating and showering and laundry and packing my bag to do it again! When do I get beers with my friends? When do I do my writing? Do I have to become one of those crazy people who run in the morning? 

I’m not a morning person.

I’ve been bemoaning this to myself. I’ve been in this isolated pity party for weeks.

Then, like the sky has opened up, my friend tells me she feels the same way as I do. That I am not the only one who struggles with the time commitment of running and the weight lifted off my shoulders. I thought it was just me. 

It’s not. 

I thought it was just me who felt self-conscious running. It’s not just me.

I thought it was just me who doesn’t love running more than they love ice cream. It’s not.

I can’t tell you how good it felt to know I wasn’t alone.

The truth is, I do a lot of things alone. I eat alone. I binge watch netflix alone. I write alone. I reenact Hamilton alone. I sleep alone. 

I run alone. 

Lately I’ve felt like my life has been happening in a vacuum. Like I’ve been isolated, just me in a void.

There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. I didn’t know this difference for a really long time. Most of the time I don’t mind being alone.   Alone is a state of being.

I know that running has been making me feel lonely.  Lonely is a feeling in which no one relates or understands you. It’s been hard to justify running 4 times a week to people. It’s been hard to justify to myself.

However, I don’t have to be lonely and I don’t have to feel like a bad runner for having these thoughts.

I am not a bad runner. I’m not a fast runner. But I am not a bad runner.

And neither are you.

[idonthaterunning]

Progress Report

So, my very kind and beautiful reader, tomorrow is May 18th. The semester is over at the university. Students have graduated and all is good. 

May 18th is my 4 month running anniversary! <3 I’ve been a runner for 1/3rd of the year. 

And yes, I did buy myself a gift. A new pair of Under Armour heat gear running leggings. I am also planning my June and July races! I already have August, September, October (2 races) and November planned. I’ve completed 3 out of my 10 races. I have currently clocked 9.3 race miles.

I have also run 75.97 training miles since is started running on January 18th. I just need to repeat that for the people in the back. I have run 75.97 miles, not including my race miles, since January 18th. Wow.

Those miles have done more than put callous on my feet and taught me the importance of a proper sports bra. I’ve lost 10 pounds and almost 5 inches off my waist since I started running.

Overall I’m pretty fucking proud of myself. 

Here is a recap of my races.

RACE 1 - March - The Irish Jig - weather: Really cold - 30 degrees in the morning, sunny but really cold.  official time: 36:51.17 (Currently Personal Best) Pace: 11:53 per mile Overall place: 2873 of 3893 Overall in Female 30 to 34 division: 244 of 318 Overall among all female runners: 1398 of 2165  Summary: This was a very strange event for me. It was my first 5k and I was completely unprepared for many components of it.  1. it was really cold. Like really cold and I was not prepared. I went out last minute and bought a Nike 3/4 zip to keep me warm for the run. I didn’t have the right socks, shoes, or leggings on to run in this weather. I had been running inside on a treadmill, or indoor track, or outside in Arizona. I wasn’t ready for the cold. During the run, my legs hurt so badly, i couldn’t tell if it was from running or from cold. the back of my arms hurt from the cold (Oddly, enough, this is where i get cold when running.) My Nike 3/4 Zip I bought did the trick and my chest was actually starting to overheat. When i was done running, my chest looked like it had sunburn.

2. I had no idea how runs would work. I didn’t know about water stations. I didn’t know about registration, or check in. I didn’t know about pacing groups or really anything. So i think that the Irish Jig was a really good first race. It was an easy track and my friends were with me and helped me get my shit together.

3. I was disappointed in my run. I slowed down twice and walked for about 30 seconds, which disappointed me. When i ran on the track i completed the 5k in 35:50 with no walking. I couldn’t hold it together to run the full time. Oddly, enough, this has been my fast time thus far.

4. The thing that was probably the least important but most annoying for me was the amount of little kid participating in this race. I know that should shitty to say but they would run ahead and then stop and wait for their parents. They wouldn’t look at where they were going or look behind them. They didn’t run in a straight line either. So it was like dodging children for 3 miles. It was very tiresome.

RACE 2 - April - Gazelle girl  weather: Cold -  low 40s when the race started, but it was very sunny official time: 41:06.53 (added 4:50ish to my time- my personal worst) Pace: 13:14 per mile Overall place:  492 of 1004 Overall in Female 30 to 34 division:   86 of 132 Overall among all female runners: 492 of 1004 (this was an all ladies event)

Summary: This race was a last minute add for me. I registered for it about 3 weeks before it when i was buying new running shoes. It was not what I was planning to do. I had backed off running for a few days and really had tuned down my training. I went from running 3+ times a week to 1 or 2 times a week. 

However, this last minute add also caused me to set my new goal of 10 5ks I really liked this race. However, it wasn’t my favorite. 

I was still cold. I was super slow. I didn’t sleep well the night before and I was feeling really out of it due to some things happening in my personal life. I was really disappointed in myself and the race was surprisingly hard! There was significantly more elevation changes in this race than I had ever experienced. The whole last quarter mile was uphill and it laid me out. I was beat. 

However, I ran the whole thing. I didn’t stop to walk at all which i thought was really impressive, until i got my time. I knew it wasn’t going to be better than my first race, but I picked up A LOT of time. 41:06 that is 5 minutes. That is enough time to drink a cup of coffee. I was so discouraged with myself. 

People always tell you to take walking breaks if you need them, and I needed one, i just didn’t listen to my body. My body made a lot of noise on this run. I could feel twitching and pinches in my knees and hips that reminded me I need to be doing more BEFORE i start to run.

I like the idea of Gazelle Girl, I had to deal with the moms and kids again, which was annoying. However, this race showed me that I could be running more miles. I watched women my mother’s age complete the 10k! 

I also liked that my name was annoyed as i ran over the finish line. I was bummed out because there was not a single race photo of me.

May - The Fifth Third Riverbank run - weather: Cold 42 degrees, rainy and cloudy, and windy. All around shitty weather. This seems to be the trendy when i run, the weather just has to suck. Official Time: 37:36.27 Pace: 12:06 per mile Overall place: 2045 of 2916 Overall in Female 30 to 34 division:   148 of 227 Overall among all female runners: 970 of 1601 Summary:

Overall, my favorite race so far was the riverbank run. It was the biggest with over 16,000 people running in one of the different races. I joined the university corporate team, and honestly, best idea ever. There was an indoor suite area we could go into and get coffee! 

The team was super unrated because I was never actually invited to any of the group trainings or the facebook group. I also didn’t see anyone else there wearing their University Healthy Living shirts. The ugliest shirts ever.

It was so insanely could and I could not for the life of me find my freaking running gloves. My hands were like ice the whole day. It didn’t help that I slipped beer on myself after the race and soaked my shirt.

I kt taped my knees because they had been bothering me. I didn’t feel great starting this race. However, it was a really good run. I felt focused and in the zone. I also liked that we used this app called RaceJoy, because people could send me cheers from home! It was really cool.

I took two small 30 second walking breaks on some of the highest points of elevation on the course.

I was so happy to finish this race strong. I felt good, but cold.

I did hang around to watch the 10k and the 25k races finish. It was amazing to watch the form of the elite 25k runners. I was so amazed that the first woman finished in like less then an hour and 30 minutes.  I also clapped and cheered for everyone who went buy. LITERALLY EVERYONE! Hand cycles, wheelchairs, 5k walkers. 25 k runners who looked at me like they were going to die and I just told them they were so close! 

This running journey has been so enlightening. I’ve learn a lot about myself both physically and mentally. I like that running lets me put my mental problems aside. I like focusing on my feet and my mechanics when I run. When my personal issues creep into my running space, i can’t stay focused. I have to take more breaks. I have to sort out my issues.

Honestly, I think i started running, because I’ve been dealing with issues I haven’t wanted to deal with. Running has actually made me focus on dealing with my issues.

One thing that has been on my mind for the last 14 months is, where I am going? I came to Grand Rapids because I made plans with someone who never showed. I took a job because it was a means to an end, that never came. I’ve met some really amazing friends here. I’ve been pushed creatively with my writing community and Nanowrimo. My friends from home have continued to be a constant.  I’ve been working on becoming who I want to be. Not just who I think I should be to be with someone.

I’m on my way. I’ve started this journey. I have 7 more races to complete before December 10th. 

Thanks for sticking with me so far. There is a lot more to come, I promise. 

[idonthaterunning]

New to running? Step 2.

Choose your support squad.

In a effort to be completely honest with you, my dear reader, I am not always super great at this step.

However, despite my shortcoming in this step, this step is extremely important because your support squad is going to be a determining factor in your success.

You might be wondering, but Mary, you said running is a personal thing. That the only thing that matter during a race is you. 

Well, reader, you are right. I did say that. But taking care of yourself isn’t always something you can do alone. We need support squads. Support squads might not be running the race for you but they sure as hell are the reason you are out there in the first place.

You’re support squad doesn’t always come to watch your races and physically cheer for you, but sometimes they do.

Your support squad are the people who cheer you on, even when your not running. Especially when your not running.

These people can be your amazing boss who tells you how proud of you she is, and it means more to you than you realize. She gets up at 4 am just to send you a message before your race. (okay, maybe not JUST to send a message, but still. It counts.)

There people can be your coworkers who has steps-challenges with you and talk about nutrition with you. They will share their veggies with you and offer to teach you how to use free weights because they are tough and you are scared.

They could also be your grad school friends who have inspired you to get moving and leave cheerful notes on your facebook page, while they go out and kick butt on their own.

There will be people who physically can’t be at your race, but will track your run through apps like RaceJoy and cheer you on when you start to slow down, or every time you pass a mile marker.

Most definitely those support people are like, your best friend who comes to your first race in the freezing cold and buys you flowers even thought you don’t think you deserve them.

It’s the people that say congratulations to you afterwords and really mean it! 

It’s the other runners out there giving you their best advice and support.

These people are all important. It is important to know that you also choose who these people are. You choose who you share your runs with, or you success with. You choose who gets to revel in your victories and cheer you through defeats.

Some people are just not good support people. Some people say they will be there but choose not to show up. Some people say they will support your new lifestyle habits of running every other day and eating right, but then they give you grief for being so busy running and why you don’t eat junk with them anymore. Some people will think your new habit is a fade and won’t take you seriously. Some people will think that you can’t succeed.

So, reader, it is important to know how to deal with these people. There are three easy steps you can follow to.... 1. information diet - if you find that someone wants to know what you are doing but then is shitty about it. Tell them nothing. 

Example.

Mean Person: “How is your running going?”

you: “Good. I hit a rough patch and my knee has been bothering me but i think it is worth it.”

Mean Person: “Running is terrible, literally no one should ever run. It is so bad for you. look you are already having knee problems.”

you: “okay. I mean i can take care of this knee issue pretty easily.”

Mean Person: “I doubt it, you are probably going to have a billion dollars of medical debt *rambles about other things.*

Turn that into - 

Mean Person: “How is your running going?” 

You: “Good.”

Mean Person: “Ugh isn’t that just a waste of time? Don’t you miss (thing we did together but might not have been healthy or you didn’t like)?”

You: “No”

2. Fake it till you make it. The old grad school saying. In all honesty, faking that your a runner isn’t weird. 

Faking it includes; doing your weekly runs, drinking water, reading about running, taking care of yourself.

Being a running includes; doing your weekly runs, drinking water, reading about running, taking care of yourself.

What makes you a runner isn’t your time. It isn’t the medals. It isn’t the people saying “congratulations.” The simple act of running is what makes you a runner.

Got it? 

You might not feel like a runner because you are slow and flabby. But you know what, a lot of runners are slow. My last 5k I passed a woman in her 70s who was running really slow, but you better believe I had so much respect for that woman because she was a serious committed runner.

When someone tells you that you aren’t a runner, or your body isn’t cut out for running, or that your have a funny gait, or you have high arched feet, or that your breasts are too big to be a runner, or that genetics are preventing you from being a runner, remind yourself that you went out and ran, thus you are a fucking runner.

3. Cut shitty people out of your life, or at least your running life.

This one sounds harsh. Yeah. Maybe it is.

However, some people are not interested in supporting you. So don’t expect them to. Don’t ask them to. Don’t be let down when they don’t support you. 

That person doesn’t deserve to be a part of your running life. A woman on the internet just told a story about how she dropped 9 minutes from a race on the same course from the year before! Which is amazing. For some people dropping 9 minutes is like dropping a whole mile from your course. (Those people are not me, 9 minutes for me is 3/4 of a mile.) However, when she told her parents, they didn’t care. Like they literally assumed her medal was a participation trophy....(and while yes...maybe it is...it was a LOT of hard work to get).

Just because someone is your parent, lover, best friend, coworker,...whatever, doesn’t mean they will want to support you. If someone doesn’t want to support you. Just say “Bye, Felicia” to them in your running life.

[idonthaterunning]

Going for it - Crying while Running. It’s possible.

So, yup. Now i am a runner. It was actually only about two weeks ago when i realized I was a runner. Which, for anyone counting is 3 months after i started running.

One thing most people know about me is that I am a crier. Lots of thing make me cry. An amazing love story, a student crying in my office, a delicious bagel. I mean seriously, almost anything remotely tender or delicious makes me cry.

Sometimes I feel like running has made me MORE of a crier. 

Examples 1. 5 weeks into my c25k training i was convinced i wasn’t going to be able to run the 5k. I cried while struggling through a 8 minute run.

2. 6 weeks into my c2k5 training i realized I could run a 5k and cried.

3. 7 weeks into my c25k training i didn’t think i could run a 5k and cried as I ran around the indoor track at my university. I was being lapped by 18 year olds while crying

4. Three days before my first 5k (March 17th) I ran a 5k on the indoor track in under 36 minutes. I cried during my cool down because I knew I could do it.

5. After my first 5k I cried in the shower because I was so proud of myself.

6. I cried in frustration at the end of my second 5k because I was so much slower.

You see the point i am sure. I’ve cried over running shoes and sore feet and bruised egos and tight pants. I’ve cried because people came to watch me run, I cried because no one came to watch me run. I’ve cried because I am a runner and I’ve cried because I don’t feel like a runner.

Seriously, i have a lot of fucking feelings. I am sorry. I am in therapy. 

However, today I cried for another reason.

My Star Wars Virtual Half Marathon metal came today!

According to my first post, which you can find if you scroll down, Star Wars can get me to do anything. Even become a runner.

Well, there I am, after a run with my new metal.

Yes, of course, I cried.

(Please note, I am wearing my badass shirt that makes me feel tough)

[idonthaterunning]

New to running? Step 1.

Buy a badass shirt that makes you feel tough.

I know this sounds lame. I mean, it has absolutely nothing to do with running. It has nothing to do with moving at all. 

However, the reason you need a badass shirt that makes you feel tough is because there are going to be a lot of days you don’t feel tough. 

There will be days in which you feel gross and don’t want to run, and your badass shirt is going to help motivate you to go run.

There will be days you start your run and are feeling sluggish. Then you are going to look down at your shirt and go “YEah, i am tough”

There will be runs where you get strange pains and consider stopping, but you catch yourself in the gym mirror and you say “I got this”.

(Note: listen to your body. If your body is telling you to stop. Stop. If your are feeling a twinge because a muscle is tight or loosening, listen to your body, No Matter what your bad ass shirt says.)

There will be amazing days, when you get done and you look at your sweaty self and you see your shirt and you will be like an amazon.

Frankly there will be days when you go to the gym and your form sucks. Or races you run where you are 5 minutes behind your personal best and you feel like shit and you don’t feel tough and you just want to curl in a ball and never run again.

However, then you look at your shirt and remember you ARE a badass. Then you look back at what you have already accomplished, and you know you are tough. Even it was only the first week. Even if it was only your first run. Even if it was your first race. Even if you have been running for years.

You made the decision to run, you tied your shoes and you put your fly self into you badass shirt that makes you feel tough.

Because, you are tough.

(my badass shirt for those who are curious. )

[idonthaterunning]

Foam Rollers, no one looks cool.

So in the world of being new to running. Occasionally someone will mentions something that I feel like I should have known about but, once again i am completely culeless.

Today, it was foam rollers. If you know what a foam roller is, then you are way ahead of me. 

It is indeed a roller made of foam, like a pool noodle but WAY more intense. However these rollers are supposedly magical and I love magic. 

So ever impulsive Mary decides, I need to do this. 

I went out and bought a TriggerPoint Core Mini roller.

It’s gray and about 12 inches long. There are bigger models, 18 and i think a 36 inch model. I got the 12 inch version, however i should have probably gone larger because my ass just barely fits on this thing.

So, Why do you need a foam roller? 

Technically you don’t. However, it is supposed to help with stretching and recovery of muscles after a work out or if you sit at a desk all day. 

Because I have toned down my training some my last two runs have really knocked me on my ass. It also doesn’t help that I am drinking less water than i should be.

So i bought this foam roller and unwrapped it. I proceeded to roller around on the ground like an idiot.

I learned that I don’t have a lot of upper body strength. I hurt just about the same as I did before. I’ll see in a day or two how it actually goes. 

[idonthaterunning]

My favorite thing about running.

The truth is, there is a lot about running that I am not in love with.

I am not in love with my right knee, and how it feels after a run. I tore my right PCL in grad school and I had to give up roller derby because of it.

I am not in love with how fat I feel when I run on a treadmill. 

I am not in love with the person on the treadmill next to me running, while reading a book, and finishing a 5k in 28 minutes.

I am not in love with how many times I get lapped when I run on the track at where I work.

~~ There are things I love about running.

I love the sweat running down my face, especially when it drips off me because I know i am working super hard.

I love how a good song can just make you feel so empowered that you think the whole music video to that song should just be you running.

I love how when I am done running, I am one day closer to my next race.

~~

However my absolute favorite thing about running, is how awesome other runners tend to be.

On the journey up to my first 5k I asked a lot of people for advice. Some of the advice i got was the following:

“ Don’t give in to the adrenaline rush in the beginning. You will set yourself up for a wall at mile 2. “

“ find the bathrooms as soon as you arrive! “

“Eat a banana”

“Don’t stop”

“ Last 400 meters give it all you have left! Full on sprint. You don’t want to go past the finish line feeling you had some energy left.”

“ Enjoy the moment. I look back on my first race and realize how fast it went (even though in reality I was not going that fast.) Smile and be pumped! You got this!”

All of this is excellent advice. And I followed almost all of it. (I did take two small walking breaks during my 5k but that is a story for a different day.)

However the best advice at got was from a woman who was stretching across from me at the University gym. 

It was my second to last day of training and I saw she had a Chicago Marathon shirt on. I asked her about it and she said that she had run the Chicago marathon twice. She originally started running because she wanted to see if she could do it. She started with 5ks and then 10ks and half marathons and then finally the Chicago marathon. She had no intention of ever becoming a runner.

So I of course asked this sagely woman for advice and she said:

“The only real advice you need is that your running is only against yourself. Pay attention to yourself, to your breathing. After the first two minutes check your postures, are your shoulder tense? If they are that is using energy which you could be using running. Don’t look at anyone else. The only person running that race is you and you are running it for you.”

I feel like this advice can be used anywhere in life. But this woman, my Chicago Marathon patron saint, will never know how much her advice meant to me.

[idonthaterunning]

Why 3.1 at 31?

So, I have already explained how I impulse purchased my way into running. Star Wars, they can literally sell anything to me. 

However, I guess it is important to explain why I didn’t quit yet... yet.

So 2017 sucked for me. Majorly. My long term partner broke up with me the day before he was supposed to move in. It broke my heart.

I also had to find a new apartment. That meant moving. He broke my heart, but I broke my ankle.

Yup. While moving I stepped off a step wrong and fractured my ankle. I didn’t think I broke it. I thought I sprained it REALLY REALLY BAD!

I drove a box truck with that fractured ankle. 

It actually wasn’t until my ex’s mom told me she thought I had broken my ankle, that I went to the doctor’s. A week later.

I left urgent care with a fancy walking boot! (it was not fancy, however my nieces LOVED it). 

Before I left the urgent care, the Doctor asked me if anyone could come and help me get home. (Because of course I broke my RIGHT foot, my driving foot.)

Of course, I started to weep in the doctors office. He looked at me, kind of awkwardly, you know, in that way in which someone who did not plan to be your emotional support suddenly does.

He told me that I would be fine and that I was tougher than a fractured ankle. I drove home with my left foot.

So I turned 31, then it was 2018, I decided that I was not going to be shat on by anyone. 

Literally anyone, especially myself. I needed a change and maybe that is why I so impulsively decided to sign up for a half marathon. Then demoted myself to a 5k.

I was literally starting a level 2 (if level 1 was walking) and I was going to do a 5k. How fitting that it is 3.1 miles and I turned 31. Totally unplanned. 

Honest.

[idonthaterunning]

Hi, I guess I am a Runner now...So what next?

So, yeah. Hi. I’m Mary. I guess now I am a runner.

I wasn’t a runner on January 18th 2018. That was my first day of c25k training.  C25k Training, is couch to 5k training. These training programs are typically anywhere from 8 to 10 weeks and they are often interval training programs.

I did the ZenLabs app version of C25k and I enjoyed it for the most part. I liked that there was a timed 5 minute warm but and cool down. But there is also a guiding voice who tells you what you will be doing, for example “Run for 5 minutes, this is run 1 of 4.” It also told you when you were half way done because I need that in my life to know i have made it over the hill and the finish line is closing in. This training program ONLY has your run days in it.

However, there are a ton of different C25k programs out there. Lots of races have their own C25k Training programs that you can print off their registration sites. These training guidelines have different types of trainings in them. For example, active rest days, which are days in which working out is encouraged but you don’t have to run. Or Walk Days-  days in which, surprise, you take a  30 minute walk.

I really like the Gazelle Girls training calendar. 

You can see their training calendar here for their 2017 race

There is also a Reddit subreddit that is all about c2k5 training. They offer their own verison of it on the sub too. The subreddit is pretty nice because it is a very support place where you can get running questions answered.

As I was saying, on January 18th, I did my first day of training.  Frankly, I was not good at it at all. Also, I have ALWAYS been one of those people who talks shit about running. I hated it in high school. I thought it was a silly hobby for people, I mean why go running? You could do literally any other version of working out. I mean, shooting is pretty bad-ass hobby! So is cross-country skiing! You could even combine to two and do a biathlon. Literally, I did not understand why people WANTED to run.

I’m also not super unfit, i mean, I am unfit. But not SUPER unfit. I’m the whole kind of unfit in which you pray you won’t muffin top out of your favorite jeans after a night eating pizza. I’m not that I can’t walk across my apartment level of unfit.

I’ve done physical things before too. I was on the golf team in high school. In college I was on the Colorguard for a while. I played roller derby while in grad school. I worked several jobs in which I did a lot of walking. Once I had my first desk job I had a personal trainer for a while too. I go on a 30 mile hike every year. I am active! Okay, I’m active-ish...

So how did I get here? 

By being a nerd, damn it. 

Ugh. Someone on facebook posted about Disney’s Star Wars Virtual half marathon and I thought, “Yeah, that totally looks doable.” 

I mean logically I can hike 30 miles in a weekend. Why couldn’t i do this half marathon, its only 13.1 miles. Also, I’d get a cool metal! Who doesn’t want a metal? I didn’t do sports in high school that earned metals. By brother did, and yes I was very jealous.

So i signed up. I put my money in. 

Then i started reading about how to train for a half marathon and I was ready to shit a brick.

I mean these are training programs that in your first week of training you are expected to run two miles a day on your EASY run days! I couldn’t even run for two minutes let alone two miles. There are times in my life where I wish took the time to research things before i did them. This was one of those times.

However, this is also where I learned what a 5k was and I decided that I could TOTALLY do a 5k. I mean it’s ONLY 3.1 miles. However, remember, i cannot run for 2 minutes yet.

So I download the C25k app and register for a 5k in 9 weeks. See, this is where i once again wish i had the foresight to RESEARCH before i just gave my money to things.

I signed up for the Spectrum health Irish Jig run on Saint Patrick's day and decided to just go for it.

Then, go for it I did.