
bliss lane

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣

if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
The Bright Sessions
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Cosmic Funnies

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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gracie abrams

Jimmy Eat World
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
The Bowery Presents
untitled
Not today Justin
Interview Vampire Daily
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macklin celebrini has autism
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@idontlikeseagulls
YALL. in his last thing that he did he got 95 votes. in the by-election against the fucking leader of reform (with no other candidate) he got almost 10 THOUSAND VOTES. this is the funniest shit ever fuck Farage
A lot of people in Minecraft YouTube videos seem to fight blazes with fire protection on but personally I just build a box around a blaze spawner with a poking hole. You slice at their floaty little feet and they die no problem
Window to jump up and down and mock them and they chase me into the pit by the poking hole and I start stabbing
I’ve never beat the end before and I’m trying to do that. The extras are for greed.
Anyways the best way to fight endermen I’ve found is to trap them in boats.
This is the best tip ever- what else you got?
People will tell you that doors will make air pockets underwater but I learned the hard way that this doesn’t work on bedrock edition and that only works on java
My cartoon for yesterday’s @Guardian books.
P.S. you can order my books of cartoons here: https://tomgauld.com/comic-books-v2
totally real quotes from my brother's keeper trust me guys
I do love a good "Rocky learns about an Earth Thing and is baffled by it and goes off about how silly/nonsensical it is" situation as much as the next guy, but something that's been bugging me about that is the...idk the Spockness of it all. Like it's often juxtaposed with headcanons of Eridian culture/rules/norms etc and how those Make Sense unlike humans and their arbitrary illogical habits. I just think that Erid would be just as varied in terms of culture as Earth is, and the thing about culture is that it very rarely Makes Sense (as much as we may think it does).
Give me Rocky who hears about an Earth Thing, goes "what pfff that's so weird, you humans don't make any sense, unlike us Eridians who do this reasonably" and then proceeds to matter-of-factly describe something as batshit as the thing Grace just told him about but in a completely different direction
Rocky finding out about dining rooms: why would you build an entire ROOM dedicated to EATING WITH PEOPLE? That's stupid, and illogical, and gross. Eww.
Grace: well where do you eat then?
Rocky: well eating is something that should be done in private, but with our hearing, that's not very easy. So, every town has a building for eating, where you go into a room where the inside of the walls and floor is about a foot of near-perfect vacuum, held up by four chains made of spongey yet durable material, to minimize the amount of sound that escapes.
Grace: ...
I do love a good "Rocky learns about an Earth Thing and is baffled by it and goes off about how silly/nonsensical it is" situation as much as the next guy, but something that's been bugging me about that is the...idk the Spockness of it all. Like it's often juxtaposed with headcanons of Eridian culture/rules/norms etc and how those Make Sense unlike humans and their arbitrary illogical habits. I just think that Erid would be just as varied in terms of culture as Earth is, and the thing about culture is that it very rarely Makes Sense (as much as we may think it does).
Give me Rocky who hears about an Earth Thing, goes "what pfff that's so weird, you humans don't make any sense, unlike us Eridians who do this reasonably" and then proceeds to matter-of-factly describe something as batshit as the thing Grace just told him about but in a completely different direction
Rocky: Why human in movie offended, question? Gift was adequate.
Grace: Oh yeah, the bouquet was nice and all, but it should've been an odd number of flowers. In some cultures on Earth, an even number of flowers is reserved for funeral bouquets.
Rocky: Dumb. Number of plants doesn't matter. Was clearly gift of courtship, nothing to do with dying. Not even make sense to give plants for funeral. Humans being illogical again. Statement.
Grace: Ok well, what do you do for funerals?
Rocky: Hm... In most Erid, mate or parent or child will put empty carapace shell on roof of house. If dead Eridian have big family, will be arguments and fights. Is great privilege. Also bring good, sensible parting gifts like [small burrowing mammal] or [something like rats] on string, gemstones, tools, place on and around shell.
Grace: ...you bring dead animals on strings to a funeral?
Rocky: NO! Obvious not. Animals still alive, otherwise would not sound pretty. Grace question stupid.
Grace:
Rocky: Can place gemstones on [small burrowing mammal] also.
The idea of [small burrowing mammal] just getting grabbed and taken there and reacting about how you'd expect a wild animal which was suddenly grabbed and taken to a strange place is hilarious, but I think it's way funnier if you assume they're trained for this, just because the mental image of an eridian carrying an eridian mole which is being very calm and polite with a gemstone just kinda resting on its head is so beautiful.
I do love a good "Rocky learns about an Earth Thing and is baffled by it and goes off about how silly/nonsensical it is" situation as much as the next guy, but something that's been bugging me about that is the...idk the Spockness of it all. Like it's often juxtaposed with headcanons of Eridian culture/rules/norms etc and how those Make Sense unlike humans and their arbitrary illogical habits. I just think that Erid would be just as varied in terms of culture as Earth is, and the thing about culture is that it very rarely Makes Sense (as much as we may think it does).
Give me Rocky who hears about an Earth Thing, goes "what pfff that's so weird, you humans don't make any sense, unlike us Eridians who do this reasonably" and then proceeds to matter-of-factly describe something as batshit as the thing Grace just told him about but in a completely different direction
EXACTLY the sort of thing I had in mind, thank you
what is your LEAST favorite stitch?
I don't like counted work at fucking all. So: the cross stitch.
reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore
FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.
Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot
Don't you dare malign my girl again
Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently
We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level
"skill issue" made entirely from French knots is a next level roast. no coming back from that one. damn
Have we considered that Rocky might just have higher levels of lead in his carapace than the average Eridian?
Like, sure he slept near the fuel tanks and I’m sure that helped. But he was up there for decades and definitely moved around the ship away from the astrophage while fixing things, going to watch others sleep, tending dying friends, piloting.
Rocky must be from a region of Erid with more lead in the surrounding area which was incorporated into his body. For Rocky it could have been centuries since he last lived in that place with high lead content yet it still protected him.
This happens with human teeth in that the area where you grow up is imprinted in your enamel for decades afterwards. But that’s not a thing the average person knows. So Rocky never brings it up, because it’s kind of just a fun fact? Like, saying you’re from Oregon in a doctor’s appointment. Ok? Cool? This is about your gallbladder.
If the Eridians didn’t know anything about radiation and Rocky isn’t a biologist or doctor why would he know his leady body is a relevant detail. There’s no reason to think this would come up in the conversation once Grace realizes about the astrophage being nearby. Occam’s Razor: astrophage protects from radiation. Rocky slept near astrophage. Therefore astrophage protects Rocky.
I can just imagine they find this out way later when they’re on Erid and Rocky goes to his hometown to visit his parents and comes back to the bio dome and is like
Rocky: Bring rock from where Rocky from to add to Grace beach! Has same texture as Rocky! Same same same
Grace: cool! Let’s put this baby under the microscope. We can shoot it with the element detector!
Rocky: yes yes yes look at rock! Hear hometown sounds.
*Several experiments later*
Grace: uhhh. You might want to sit down.
I forget what my thought process was, but sometimes I think about how to ask about/explain radiation
The first thing Rocky communicates is elements, using molecular models. So if Grace wanted to go in the direction of "things that block radiation," he might bring up lead
The Blip-A is huge, they probably weren't building with the same weight restrictions we were (even if he doesn't know about the space elevator), so he might ask if they use lead to shield it, or other elements that have similar properties to lead
Anyway, I really like this. I just wonder how Rocky would react to Grace bringing up lead in the context of the crew dying, but Rocky surviving — because what do you mean that's relevant?
Help I made dinner that's too tasty. Now I have eaten too much.
I made like 3 days' worth so this problem will be ongoing
Is that 3 day's worth before discovering it's too tasty, or 3 day's worth accounting for the eating too much?
I ate one third of it
simply make more
Opposite of helping
pretty sure you demonstrated that 1/3 was a helping
There are SO many ways humans and Eridians compliment each other, and I don't even think some were intentional. For example: Lots of fan content I've seen has been kind of thoughtlessly projecting humanity's heat seeking behaviour onto Eridians. Reading the biology document, however, has made me infer something — Eridians love the cold.
They sleep at night, even in the absence of a light cycle, because that's when the temperature drops. Unlike humans, they don't use blankets. They don't try to preserve heat. They want to cool down faster, because because that's what their body needs shut down and rest! They RELAX in the cold!
Not only that, but their version of breathing is a constant influx of cool air. If they're without that coolant for even a few minutes, they're in serious trouble, and after half an hour, they're dead. Unlike us, they're at constant risk of overheating.
But not while they have a source of cold nearby. Like, for example, a human who lives at a fraction of their temperature.
On the Hail Mary, Grace spends a lot of time pressed against Rocky. Their temperature differences are extreme enough that xenonite can't entirely halt the heat transfer, so it's pleasantly warm. He feels like a cat curling up by the fire. It's relaxing. Of course, he also feels a little bad that he's draping his freezing raincloud of a body all over Rocky, but he figures Rocky puts up with the unpleasant cold okay.
Except: Rocky is chasing the cold just as much as Grace is chasing the heat.
Grace's muscles unwind with a constant heat press. Rocky relaxes with an endless source of peaceful, relieving cooling. What a funny quirk of biology, Rocky thinks, that being so incomprehensibly opposite to each other is so pleasant. What a lovely quirk of fate, that they've been given the opportunity to learn that through each other.
Fic prompt #68
Dpxdc
Danny is in Gotham (yes, that Gotham, different universe, long story) to finish his education before moving on with his life—or afterlife—and eventually ascending to High King status. It’s a good reveal AU. He still has his parents. He still has his friends. Clockwork just strongly suggested that if he wanted to rule the Infinite Realms one day, maybe he should get some cross-dimensional academic experience first.
So now he’s here.
The problem? Everyone is rich. Not “my dad owns a company” rich. More like “we have generational trauma and private islands” rich. Danny tries being friendly. Smiles. Makes conversation. Offers help with homework. It does absolutely nothing. These people only care about connections.
Which would be funny—if it weren’t so isolating—because they have no idea he is, objectively, the single most powerful networking opportunity in the multiverse.
So yeah. He’s a little lonely.
Enter Damian.
One of Damian’s brothers (who will not be named but absolutely thinks he’s hilarious) jokes that Damian has never had a normal civilian friendship in his life. That if he had to, he wouldn’t even know where to start. He offhandedly gestures at Danny like, there, that one looks harmless.
It’s a joke.
Unfortunately, Damian takes it as a challenge.
Not because Danny is a “target.” He isn’t. Damian just fully decides he will prove he can form a normal, healthy, civilian friendship. Out of spite.
There are misunderstandings, but somehow, despite everything, they start… getting along.
And Damian, internally victorious, decides to present Danny to his family as evidence that he can, in fact, maintain a normal friendship.
Danny is delightful.
He charms Alfred. He debates with Tim. He listens to Bruce. He somehow gets Jason to laugh. He and Dick vibe immediately. He treats Damian like an equal without even trying.
For months, the consensus is clear:
Danny is the only normal person at this table.
And then they find his admission essay.
Titled:
“Why Clowns Are Not to Be Given Human Rights.”
Jason has found his new bible
What started as a just a challenge to Damian quickly turned into an actual friendship.
He wasn’t planning on truly befriending Danny, Damian had learned not to call him Daniel after an accidental black eye incident. But here he was 6 months later going on a camping trip to go star gazing because Danny was obsessed with everything space.
Damian and Danny had recently had a discussion about Danny’s admissions essay when Tim did some digging out of curiosity and found it. Needless to say, after they all read that Damian was asked by the rest of his family to get further information about why Danny wrote that particular paper. (Jason was already planning what baked goods to gift Danny for that brilliant essay)
Turns out Danny had developed a fear of clowns after he was kidnapped and brainwashed by one that ran a circus that forced the brainwashed people to perform and steal things on the side. (Which was a doozy of a story for Damian to find out that his civilian friend had gone through that BEFORE moving to Gotham) At the very least Danny assured Damian that guy was arrested and still in jail.
Damian and his family were never able to dig up information about the incident but with Danny being from a small town and a minor they just wrote it off as there being only physical documents of the incident and Danny being redacted from anything in the larger system about the whole thing. Danny having also told Damian he only knew the guy’s stage name and not his real one. Which even that didn’t result in anything but still, a no where Midwest circus group not showing up online wasn’t to shocking, and since the situation was resolved already, even though they’d like to know more, Danny was a sweet kid and they didn’t want to dredge up anything that could cause him undue stress (plus Damian and Jason teamed together to force the rest to let it go under threat of blade, gun, and Jason not cooking for anyone for a year)
Fast forward back to the camping trip Damian and Danny were going on at one of Bruce’s private cabins. They’d plan to camp like normal with tents in the property and just use the cabin in case of an emergency.
Though Damian did lie to Danny about why he suggested they go on this trip. Bruce actually having been the one that suggested it after they’d found out all this about Danny and the Joker had escaped again and was possibly targeting kids with dark hair and blue eyes. So to be on the safe side Bruce brought it up to Damian, and while he hated seemingly being benched, he was concerned about Danny’s safety. And with Damian being a witness to Danny’s terrible luck agreed to keep him safe out of town and away from the danger.
Damian was actually surprised Danny’s guardian agreed to let them go camping on their own, clearly Bruce knew Damian would be fine but was ready to have Alfred go with them if Danny’s guardian requested an adult presence, but then he also claimed Danny was more than capable of handling himself and if Bruce was fine with them on their own he was too.
And so here they were in the middle of the woods just hanging out. Damian was somewhat surprised at how much fun he was having. The trip reminded him of the peace he’d sometimes find in the wilderness on his forced survival treks growing up, though this trip was nothing like those treks and he was actually able to enjoy being in nature and not worrying about surviving.
He expected this peaceful trip to pass without incident and go home with Danny in tow to a Joker free city.
But as he should have expected, the universe had other plans.
It was their fourth night on the trip and everything had been going as normal with the routine they’d already fallen into: wake up - eat - hike - go to the lake - swim/relax - fish - eat - hike again - and then start setting up for dinner and to turn in for the night.
Everything was going as normal, when while they were getting ready to head to bed there was a large explosion in the distance.
Both boy froze and looked at each other.
After taking a moment to process, Damian was on alert and reaching for his commutation device that would work in the middle of the woods, when Danny suddenly took off towards the sound with a yell of
“STAY HERE!!”
Without a second thought Damian rushed after him, but quickly lost sight of Danny in the thick woods. He still charged forward in the direction of the explosion, cursing himself for not picking up the communicator before charging after Danny and hoping his friend wouldn’t do anything reckless until at least he got there.
After a few minutes he finally slowed on his approach to a clearing hoping Danny was at least hidden somewhere in the underbrush.
Damian’s heart dropped when he peered into the clearing.
Because there was Danny in all his 5’5” glory staring up at the seemingly leader of a small army of some type of extra-dimensional being if the swirling portal behind them was any indication.
Damian is running battle strategies in his head on how to grab Danny and book it back to the campsite long enough to grab the communicator and keep running with Danny, when he hears Danny speak to the leader
“Leave”
The leader looks down at Danny with a somewhat amused expression
“Oh? And who are you young one to demand me to go”
Damian is shocked at how calm Danny is, and while also impressed at his boldness, is quickly running out of any safe options he can think of to get Danny out of there, the Danny speaks again
“I’m technically your boss so if you could kindly *points to portal* fuck off back to where you came from, it’ll save you a whole lot of time and injuries”
That gave Damian pause, and while a part of him was still screaming at Danny “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!”, his training kicked in to analyze the situation more, because Danny spoke with too much certainty that these beings had to listen to what he was demanding for it to be fully any type of ruse he was trying.
The leader of the group also took pause with what Danny said and was clearly analyzing him for any indication of why he spoke so confidently. When the leaders face abruptly fell and the color drained from his face and he got down and kneeled to Danny with an apology off his tongue faster than the initial explosion.
“I apologize High King for my insolence, I did not recognize you for a moment. I did not realize this dimension was under your protection! We will leave at once per your command and I will extend an official gift of apology once we have returned!”
Danny was just standing there with his arms crossed unbothered by the whole interaction with only a reply of
“Per my official orders, as you should be well aware of, any and all concerning of other dimensions is strictly forbidden under my rule. Go now and return, be prepared to explain yourself in court, and do not think of running, I know you now and there will be nowhere in all of existence I will not be able to find you”
Damian watches and the army quickly flees - the portal vanishes - and it’s quiet as if none of that ever happened.
Only when Danny starts to turn around back in the direction of their campsite does Damian show himself.
At this Danny startles
“Oh uuuuuhhhh…hiiiii Damian..uh fancy seeing you….here…”
“….Danny care to explain what that was?”
And for the next 3 days Damian gets the whole spiel of Danny’s whole story and learning not only is his one normal civilian friend the furthest thing from that. But Damian learns he somehow befriended probably the most powerful entity in the entirety of existence.
Damian decides that it’s only fair Danny the know he’s Robin and the real reason they went on the trip. Which Danny is touched by his concern. And Damian also asks if he can at least tell his family since they are good at keeping secrets, which Danny does agree to.
When they finally return home Damian announces to his family that he did loose the challenge actually but now he has a powerful ally forged through the bonds of friendship and then proceeded to tell them everything that happened the just walks away.
The rest of family tried to bombard him for more information but he just runs off saying him and Danny were meeting up to hang out later.
The alternative ending:
When asked about sharing with the rest of the family, Danny rubs the back of his neck. "I'd rather not? I guess if you have to, but it will make everyone super weird. You're probably the only one who won't turn this into a big thing."
Damian thinks about this. They wouldn't be weird about Danny having powers or being from another dimension, but his position as the king of dimensions would definitely affect them. Even if his family believed that knowledge wouldn't change how they saw him, subconsciously was another story. As diplomats and strategists, Danny would end up categorized as an authority of dimensional stability first and Danny second. His father would create end up spiralling into treaties, discussions, and contingencies, especially because of the magic stuff.
Making his decision, Damian nodded.
Upon their return, Damian tells his family that he failed the challenge. He could not have a normal friend. He leaves and refuses to elaborate further.
"I have already admitted my failure of the challenge. What more do you require? I will not hand you the blade for you to mock me with it."
Everyone freaks out. What happened? How did Damian drive off Danny? He was so chill and laid back.
Immediately, they devise all sorts of plans and begin investigating. They unanimously agree that they have to do whatever it takes to force Damian and Danny to make up in classic over the top and convoluted Batfam style.
To say that weekend was a weird one even by Danny's standard is an understatement. By the end of it, the Batfam have nothing to show for their efforts and are beginning to despair.
Monday rolls around, and they are ready to watch the disaster that was about to unfold at the school.
Danny runs up to Alfred's car like any other time, all smiles. The Batfam spy from the bushes. Dick tightens his grip around the big trauma kit, ready to jump in at a moment's notice.
...
Only for Damian to get out and greet Danny like usual, possibly even warmer than before. No matter how long they watch, nothing changes. Eventually, they confront Damian about why he hasn't broken up his friendship with Danny yet.
"I have no intention of relinquishing Danny as a friend. Imbeciles. I said was that I failed to have any normal friends."
Horror dawns on them as they put the pieces together. The Batfam is floored. Devastated. At a loss. What on earth could Damian be talking about?
Danny spends the next several weeks being extra completely super normal. Even more normal than before while quietly laughing at the Batfam's mounting dread and insanity as they try to fugure out what Damian means. Danny and Damian place bets on how long they can keep this going for.
Eva, world famous polyglot watching Grace pick up an entirely alien language in six month on the Vlogs after she dragged him all over the world for four years, having people speak English for his benefit, and translating for him while listening to him whine and winge about his own TeRrIbLe PrOnOuNcIaTiOn, knowing full well now he probably understood what everyone was saying around him just fine after six months, actually: Better stay up there...
Dimitri: What was that?
Eva in perfect Russian, glaring at the screen, Grace and Rocky having an arguement she can only understand half of: I said he better stay up there.
Okay this blew up, I have to share my actual headcanon.
Ryland would have complained about his pronounciation in any language, like its was absolutely good enough, he'd just be in his head about it all the time.
I think over the four years on the ship and traveling with Stratt his general vocab in any given language was you know "hello, how are you" "Hope were not late" " beautiful city" "I'm Dr. Grace from the Patrova task force" and various other basic pleasentries, enough basics of grammer, syntax ect..., so when people spoke to him in regards to science, politics, money, he could usually tell what language it was and what they were say, a would reply if he had to, but ultimately aside from Russian, Manderin, and idk French or Dutch or German, Eva would have just had a translator present because Grace has a job and its not Linguistics, so it wasnt somdthing he needed to focus on presuing
Russian and Manderin, it think he could be a little versed, I very much think he had informal vocab lessons with Lesya, Dimitri, Yáo (who's name he can read and correctly pronounce, mind) and anyone else on his science team. Like I do that at work with my co workers, just ask "how do you say this" "does [this] mean "this"", you know. Still couldnt have a convo tbh, but I'm also not as emersed as Ry would be on the ship 24/7.
Russian and Manderin I think he was fruent in listening if still not the best at (confidently) pronuncing, but among friends I'm absolutely sure he ACTUALLY tried.
He probably also knows a decent amout of Dutch or German, depending on your Eva headcanon, just never had a chance to actually talk with her, just absorb whatever she said iften enough.
Like he did pick up Eridianese. And he's a fast learner regardless. I just bet Eva would be annoyed with his Characterist self doubt, and the fact SHE couldn't learn the alien language like he got to.
fucking hate it when fruit flies come at your face like "I pray I won't be killed 🥺🥺 for the crime of being small 🥺🥺🥺" like motherfucker if you think I'd hesitate to kill something twice my size if it tried to get into my nostril
Unless the random mental picture I've constructed of you is wrong, I'm pretty sure something twice your size would probably not fit into your nostril?
No wonder you'd be upset.
Boys will be boys)
Getting revenge is fun but tormenting Danny is funnier
You know, I don't know if Jack is the kind of man to make a good salsa in the first place, so it's entirely possible Vlad actually saved it and just played himself
Oh definitely. The only thing Jack can cook safely and regularly is fudge. Vlad may have saved the salsa, but he certainly will have fun fighting back the hamburgers when they become sentient. I love Vlad's expressions in this. He is so just AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH