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[sonrium]

DP × DC The Power of Names Coffee Shop AU

Coffee shops are notorious for misspelling peoples names to the point that it's a running joke and basically a forgone conclusion everywhere. Everywhere except this tiny coffee shop near Crime Alley. The new hire there, Danny, spells everybody's name correctly without having to ask. Whether it's "Carly" or "Karly," he always gets it right the first time. Heck, people give him their names in Chinese and Arabic, and he swaps to the correct alphabet, no problem (because Danny, being king of the dead, can speak all languages dead and living, so might as well be respectful).

It becomes a bit of a running joke in the community to give Danny the craziest names they can find to see if he can get them right. Some of the Bats even hear rumors about him and give it a go for fun. They make a game out of it to see who can find a language or alphabet that Danny can't get. That is until, while massively sleep deprived from a case involving cults and magic and getting nowhere, Tim accidently says one of the words that he'd been hearing in the cultist chants when he orders. Danny gives him an odd look but shrugs and writes something on the cup. It isn't until Tim has already left the shop that he realizes that the symbol written on his cup is one shown in the cultists scrolls he couldn't decipher.

Tim almost dropped his coffee. Danny wasn't just a human who knew a ton of languages, he must have been a meta with the ability to understand EVERY language. And the Bats desperately needed his help to crack this one before the cultist finished summoning whatever demon or disaster they had planned. But how to get the kid's help? From idle chatter while ordering, the Bats learned that Danny wanted nothing to do with the Gotham vigilantes. And Tim had already given his connection to this case away by spewing that word written on his cup...

(I like to imagine the name Tim gave was something like "corn field" and that's why Danny looked at him funny and not because it's one of the languages of the dead)

[akemi2003]

Fic prompt #68

Dpxdc

Danny is in Gotham (yes, that Gotham, different universe, long story) to finish his education before moving on with his life—or afterlife—and eventually ascending to High King status. It’s a good reveal AU. He still has his parents. He still has his friends. Clockwork just strongly suggested that if he wanted to rule the Infinite Realms one day, maybe he should get some cross-dimensional academic experience first.

So now he’s here.

The problem? Everyone is rich. Not “my dad owns a company” rich. More like “we have generational trauma and private islands” rich. Danny tries being friendly. Smiles. Makes conversation. Offers help with homework. It does absolutely nothing. These people only care about connections.

Which would be funny—if it weren’t so isolating—because they have no idea he is, objectively, the single most powerful networking opportunity in the multiverse.

So yeah. He’s a little lonely.

Enter Damian.

One of Damian’s brothers (who will not be named but absolutely thinks he’s hilarious) jokes that Damian has never had a normal civilian friendship in his life. That if he had to, he wouldn’t even know where to start. He offhandedly gestures at Danny like, there, that one looks harmless.

It’s a joke.

Unfortunately, Damian takes it as a challenge.

Not because Danny is a “target.” He isn’t. Damian just fully decides he will prove he can form a normal, healthy, civilian friendship. Out of spite.

There are misunderstandings, but somehow, despite everything, they start… getting along.

And Damian, internally victorious, decides to present Danny to his family as evidence that he can, in fact, maintain a normal friendship.

Danny is delightful.

He charms Alfred. He debates with Tim. He listens to Bruce. He somehow gets Jason to laugh. He and Dick vibe immediately. He treats Damian like an equal without even trying.

For months, the consensus is clear:

Danny is the only normal person at this table.

And then they find his admission essay.

Titled:

“Why Clowns Are Not to Be Given Human Rights.”

Jason has found his new bible

[blauequuleus]

What started as a just a challenge to Damian quickly turned into an actual friendship.

He wasn’t planning on truly befriending Danny, Damian had learned not to call him Daniel after an accidental black eye incident. But here he was 6 months later going on a camping trip to go star gazing because Danny was obsessed with everything space.

Damian and Danny had recently had a discussion about Danny’s admissions essay when Tim did some digging out of curiosity and found it. Needless to say, after they all read that Damian was asked by the rest of his family to get further information about why Danny wrote that particular paper. (Jason was already planning what baked goods to gift Danny for that brilliant essay)

Turns out Danny had developed a fear of clowns after he was kidnapped and brainwashed by one that ran a circus that forced the brainwashed people to perform and steal things on the side. (Which was a doozy of a story for Damian to find out that his civilian friend had gone through that BEFORE moving to Gotham) At the very least Danny assured Damian that guy was arrested and still in jail.

Damian and his family were never able to dig up information about the incident but with Danny being from a small town and a minor they just wrote it off as there being only physical documents of the incident and Danny being redacted from anything in the larger system about the whole thing. Danny having also told Damian he only knew the guy’s stage name and not his real one. Which even that didn’t result in anything but still, a no where Midwest circus group not showing up online wasn’t to shocking, and since the situation was resolved already, even though they’d like to know more, Danny was a sweet kid and they didn’t want to dredge up anything that could cause him undue stress (plus Damian and Jason teamed together to force the rest to let it go under threat of blade, gun, and Jason not cooking for anyone for a year)

Fast forward back to the camping trip Damian and Danny were going on at one of Bruce’s private cabins. They’d plan to camp like normal with tents in the property and just use the cabin in case of an emergency.

Though Damian did lie to Danny about why he suggested they go on this trip. Bruce actually having been the one that suggested it after they’d found out all this about Danny and the Joker had escaped again and was possibly targeting kids with dark hair and blue eyes. So to be on the safe side Bruce brought it up to Damian, and while he hated seemingly being benched, he was concerned about Danny’s safety. And with Damian being a witness to Danny’s terrible luck agreed to keep him safe out of town and away from the danger.

Damian was actually surprised Danny’s guardian agreed to let them go camping on their own, clearly Bruce knew Damian would be fine but was ready to have Alfred go with them if Danny’s guardian requested an adult presence, but then he also claimed Danny was more than capable of handling himself and if Bruce was fine with them on their own he was too.

And so here they were in the middle of the woods just hanging out. Damian was somewhat surprised at how much fun he was having. The trip reminded him of the peace he’d sometimes find in the wilderness on his forced survival treks growing up, though this trip was nothing like those treks and he was actually able to enjoy being in nature and not worrying about surviving.

He expected this peaceful trip to pass without incident and go home with Danny in tow to a Joker free city.

But as he should have expected, the universe had other plans.

It was their fourth night on the trip and everything had been going as normal with the routine they’d already fallen into: wake up - eat - hike - go to the lake - swim/relax - fish - eat - hike again - and then start setting up for dinner and to turn in for the night.

Everything was going as normal, when while they were getting ready to head to bed there was a large explosion in the distance.

Both boy froze and looked at each other.

After taking a moment to process, Damian was on alert and reaching for his commutation device that would work in the middle of the woods, when Danny suddenly took off towards the sound with a yell of

“STAY HERE!!”

Without a second thought Damian rushed after him, but quickly lost sight of Danny in the thick woods. He still charged forward in the direction of the explosion, cursing himself for not picking up the communicator before charging after Danny and hoping his friend wouldn’t do anything reckless until at least he got there.

After a few minutes he finally slowed on his approach to a clearing hoping Danny was at least hidden somewhere in the underbrush.

Damian’s heart dropped when he peered into the clearing.

Because there was Danny in all his 5’5” glory staring up at the seemingly leader of a small army of some type of extra-dimensional being if the swirling portal behind them was any indication.

Damian is running battle strategies in his head on how to grab Danny and book it back to the campsite long enough to grab the communicator and keep running with Danny, when he hears Danny speak to the leader

“Leave”

The leader looks down at Danny with a somewhat amused expression

“Oh? And who are you young one to demand me to go”

Damian is shocked at how calm Danny is, and while also impressed at his boldness, is quickly running out of any safe options he can think of to get Danny out of there, the Danny speaks again

“I’m technically your boss so if you could kindly *points to portal* fuck off back to where you came from, it’ll save you a whole lot of time and injuries”

That gave Damian pause, and while a part of him was still screaming at Danny “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!”, his training kicked in to analyze the situation more, because Danny spoke with too much certainty that these beings had to listen to what he was demanding for it to be fully any type of ruse he was trying.

The leader of the group also took pause with what Danny said and was clearly analyzing him for any indication of why he spoke so confidently. When the leaders face abruptly fell and the color drained from his face and he got down and kneeled to Danny with an apology off his tongue faster than the initial explosion.

“I apologize High King for my insolence, I did not recognize you for a moment. I did not realize this dimension was under your protection! We will leave at once per your command and I will extend an official gift of apology once we have returned!”

Danny was just standing there with his arms crossed unbothered by the whole interaction with only a reply of

“Per my official orders, as you should be well aware of, any and all concerning of other dimensions is strictly forbidden under my rule. Go now and return, be prepared to explain yourself in court, and do not think of running, I know you now and there will be nowhere in all of existence I will not be able to find you”

Damian watches and the army quickly flees - the portal vanishes - and it’s quiet as if none of that ever happened.

Only when Danny starts to turn around back in the direction of their campsite does Damian show himself.

At this Danny startles

“Oh uuuuuhhhh…hiiiii Damian..uh fancy seeing you….here…”

“….Danny care to explain what that was?”

And for the next 3 days Damian gets the whole spiel of Danny’s whole story and learning not only is his one normal civilian friend the furthest thing from that. But Damian learns he somehow befriended probably the most powerful entity in the entirety of existence.

Damian decides that it’s only fair Danny the know he’s Robin and the real reason they went on the trip. Which Danny is touched by his concern. And Damian also asks if he can at least tell his family since they are good at keeping secrets, which Danny does agree to.

When they finally return home Damian announces to his family that he did loose the challenge actually but now he has a powerful ally forged through the bonds of friendship and then proceeded to tell them everything that happened the just walks away.

The rest of family tried to bombard him for more information but he just runs off saying him and Danny were meeting up to hang out later.

[sonrium]

The alternative ending:

When asked about sharing with the rest of the family, Danny rubs the back of his neck. "I'd rather not? I guess if you have to, but it will make everyone super weird. You're probably the only one who won't turn this into a big thing."

Damian thinks about this. They wouldn't be weird about Danny having powers or being from another dimension, but his position as the king of dimensions would definitely affect them. Even if his family believed that knowledge wouldn't change how they saw him, subconsciously was another story. As diplomats and strategists, Danny would end up categorized as an authority of dimensional stability first and Danny second. His father would create end up spiralling into treaties, discussions, and contingencies, especially because of the magic stuff.

Making his decision, Damian nodded.

Upon their return, Damian tells his family that he failed the challenge. He could not have a normal friend. He leaves and refuses to elaborate further.

"I have already admitted my failure of the challenge. What more do you require? I will not hand you the blade for you to mock me with it."

Everyone freaks out. What happened? How did Damian drive off Danny? He was so chill and laid back.

Immediately, they devise all sorts of plans and begin investigating. They unanimously agree that they have to do whatever it takes to force Damian and Danny to make up in classic over the top and convoluted Batfam style.

To say that weekend was a weird one even by Danny's standard is an understatement. By the end of it, the Batfam have nothing to show for their efforts and are beginning to despair.

Monday rolls around, and they are ready to watch the disaster that was about to unfold at the school.

Danny runs up to Alfred's car like any other time, all smiles. The Batfam spy from the bushes. Dick tightens his grip around the big trauma kit, ready to jump in at a moment's notice.

...

Only for Damian to get out and greet Danny like usual, possibly even warmer than before. No matter how long they watch, nothing changes. Eventually, they confront Damian about why he hasn't broken up his friendship with Danny yet.

"I have no intention of relinquishing Danny as a friend. Imbeciles. I said was that I failed to have any normal friends."

Horror dawns on them as they put the pieces together. The Batfam is floored. Devastated. At a loss. What on earth could Damian be talking about?

Danny spends the next several weeks being extra completely super normal. Even more normal than before while quietly laughing at the Batfam's mounting dread and insanity as they try to fugure out what Damian means. Danny and Damian place bets on how long they can keep this going for.

[akemi2003]

Fic prompt #57

Dpxdc

From the moment Danny crash-landed into the Justice League, his secret identity was a punchline. A very chaotic, “couldn’t-care-less” punchline. He had spent his entire childhood being the responsible one—keeping his parents from accidentally destroying their dimension, keeping the government off his back, basically babysitting reality itself.

But now? NOW he was Phantom. And Phantom meant anarchy with a grin. Not evil. Not destructive… necessarily. Just… utterly, gloriously insane. Danny would pick the most ridiculous, over-the-top, headache-inducing way to solve any problem, just to watch the world around him unravel like confetti—and yes, laugh hysterically at it.

The League? Confused. Bat standards? Appalled. No one could figure out what he was doing, why he was doing it… or why it was somehow working. Seriously. WHY???

And Danny? He was having the time of his life.

[sonrium]

Danny aggressively flicking peanuts into space off the Watchtower while every code red alarm is blaring because Darksied is back: Are you going to help me or what?

Hal (or JL member of your choice) who will soon go bald from stress while every hero is sprinting everywhere: Phantom! WHAT are you doing?

Danny: it's for the chipmunks. Duh.

Everyone that heard this: ??????

Hal running off: Whatever. Just stay out of the way.

1 HOUR LATER

The Darkseid armies are nothing but floating debris in the void.

Danny: I told you we needed the chipmunks. But does anybody ever listen to me? NoooOOOOooo. If you had helped me with the peanuts, this all could have been over 30 minutes ago.

The entire JL horrified by what they just witnessed through the windows: ....

Superman rocking back and forth in the corner: So. Many. Teeth.

Hal: I don't even want to know what you think a squirrel is.

Danny appalled: Ugh! I'm not stupid enough to make a deal with the squirrels again. I still owe their leader bagpipes. Do you know how hard it is to find bagpipes for a creature with 16 arms?

Alternate ending:

Batman: How did you know Darkseid was allergic to peanuts?

Danny: Wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy?

[sweetfirebird]

Hey the US government is proposing to get rid of the Endangered Species Act. Please go comment.

(yes this entirely for corporate profit)

Cut and paste the docket number to put in your response if you remember. You can comment anonymously if you want.

The Oregon Zoo has some sample arguments you can make.

We have until December 22nd!

[sonrium]

This is so important. Please, everyone who can, speak up. You can do so anonymously if you want. If you can't, please spread this to those that can.

We can't lose more. Reversing this will take years/dacades if it is even possible. Hundreds of species will be gone if we don't stop this NOW.

[savanir]

The Gotham Ambiance

Of course he'd realized that Gotham city would be louder than rural little Amity Park. He just didn't think it would be… this loud, which might be dumb of him.

Danny has a nice apartment, it's several floors up, it's got big windows (bullet proof too, but he's heard that's pretty usual in the 'nicer' parts of Gotham), an actually serviceable balcony, a decent view if you like streets and other towering buildings (at least he's not staring directly at the windows of a different apartment complex), and that's on top of other great amenities.

Arguably, he can't complain about anything.

It's just that with his enhanced hearing the extra dampening effect of the thick windows isn't doing anything.

every night is a never ending stream of car honking, police sirens, the occasional noise of gunshots, shouting, a helicopter passing over, jet engines?!

At least the rain on the windows sounds nice.

And he has tried ear plugs but they cause irritation and he just can't sleep with them in, He's tried tea that's meant to help with sleep and meditation music to drown out the noise of the city but neither helps. But besides all that he's fairly certain there is a different reason why he can't seem to relax and fall asleep.

Honestly, people are starting to think he's a native Gothamite what with the tired and 'done with life' look on his face during the day.

It's not after a week that something happens that changes everything.

He'd been curled up in bed, trying his hardest to just fall asleep (and hopefully stay asleep) when he'd thought he heard a faint zwip followed by a thunk and a slight creak of metal. It would have probably been missed by anyone with normal hearing.

Danny had carefully opened his eyes and noticed the caped figure on the railing of his balcony, perched and canvassing the surroundings. He'd instantly recognized this individual as one of the Bats, which one? Too hard to tell from the angle Danny was at, the pelting rain sure didn't help either.

But even so, suddenly a calm passed over Danny, settling under the covers was easy and comfortable and falling asleep happened quickly.

Conclusion, having a guardian gargoyle right outside his window puts the part of him that needs to be reassured that everyone is protected at ease and finally lets him sleep.

This poses a different problem however… sleeping just becomes impossible again the next night when he doesn't see a bat.

Danny decides the solution is simple, he reinforces his balcony, creates somewhat of a overhang that shrouds a part of it even more in shadow and shields it a bit from the rain and then he spreads rumors of gang activity in the neighborhood.

It's annoying and probably a manipulative waste of their time, but Danny is desperate, he needs his sleep dammit.

meanwhile in the Batcave Danny's balcony gets added to the list of favorite spots to land during patrol.

[sonrium]

The Bats' investigation of their new favorite look out leads to a Gotham Uni student who is absolutely dead asleep to the world whenever they check on him. A fog horn couldn't wake this guy.

Time passes, and things only got better for Danny. He subtly kept improving the balcony the way someone coaxes a feral animal to use a totally "natural" shelter for a snowy winter.

He got high-speed wifi because he heard Red Robin complain while he fell asleep. After he forgot his unfinished English essay out there once, Red Hood started making apearances once in a while. Oh no! Danny was so hopeless, "forgetting" his English books and papers on his balkony all the time. The Bluetooth speaker he'd used for white noise conveniently ended up out there without a password next to a padded cushion. Danny didn't fight when the cat distribution system chose him. A cat door and a box of convenient treats, and Robin was guaranteed to stop by at least once a night.

(Unbeknownst to Danny, the bats were now calling dibs for who would get the comfy patrol each night.)

It was a little troublesome to juggle, but it was all worth it. Danny was the most rested he'd ever been in his life. Soon, he was falling asleep the second he felt their presence approach. Everything was perfect.

Until he started falling asleep midday.

He'd be walking past a gymnastics studio full of kids and FLOP! Knocked out cold in the middle of a sidewalk. Grocery shopping near Crime Alley on a Saturday afternoon? BAM! Clean up on aisle three. Looking for a book at the library? THUNK!

It was driving Danny mad! By some miracle, someone nearby had always been able to get his unconscious body somewhere safe until he woke up, and his wallet was always still there. It didn't seem to have a rhyme or reason except a few general areas. It really became a problem when he went to a coffee shop and passed out right before a big exam.

Meanwhile, the Bats are trying to figure out why the owner of their favorite lookout keeps passing out whenever he gots near one of them, in or out of costume. Every time they tried to get close or do reconnaissance, they ended up having to scrape an unconscious person off the floor.

What was going on finally hit Danny when he got caught up in a rogue attack. One minute, he was one of the hostages dangling over a vat of acid. The next, he heard Batman's distinct tread running over rooftops. His eyelids inexorably slid shut before the door was even kicked open.

He'd pavloved himself.

[stealingyourbones]

Short DPXDC Prompts #604

Phantom, much like Deadman, cannot be seen by anyone besides those liminal, magically gifted, or was magically given true sight.

[stealingyourbones]

@bongo-clash you never fail to amaze me with your tags <3

[mutable-manifestation]

On the angst route:

Everyone is tense as Batman asks "New guy?" deceptively lightly.

Except Captain Marvel just completely ignores him, face a picture of panic and distress as he zips over to be next to the spot he'd just pointed to chanting "Hey, hey, it's okay, come on deep breaths." to what looks like empty space.

They can't see hear Danny's hiccupping sobs or see his lunging hug.

They do notice Captain Marvel jolt a bit, and they're on high alert when they notice the fabric of his suit crinkle as if someone is hugging him - a hug that he returns with a pat - presumably on the shoulder, possibly on the head.

They all notice that the someone is rather short.

They all hear him ask "How about you tell me what's wrong?"

They don't hear Danny detailing how they've been ignoring him for weeks.

How he just wanted to interact with some fellow heroes - how they didn't have to be friends or anything. How he just wanted some tips at least, but they ignored him.

How they left him to die when he was caught in attacks in their cities as a civilian, and he had to save himself.

How they've been acting like he's not even there.

Captain Marvel looks around at his allies, their incomprehending gazes, the way they seem to look around the kid but never at him.

The Wisdom of Solomon already gives him the answer, but for the kid's sake, he asks "Can any of you see him," nodding down at Danny.

A wave of head-shakes and 'no's resound, Flash tossing out "Gonna be honest, Cap, I thought you were losing the plot for a second there till I saw your suit crinkle."

"And I suppose you can't hear him given the lack of reaction to his explanation," he hums, glancing down at a much calmer, if more confused, Phantom - as he'd introduced himself.

This nets the same response.

The discovery that a child ghost has been following them around - a dead child - trying to ask for help, trying to get advice to protect his own town only to be ignored at every turn by the people who should have helped him?

Hearts: Wrenched.

Additional angst unlocked: they learn about some of the threats he'd fought off and think "How long have these attacks been going on, how long was this city without a defender, did this kid die & take up the job bc we didn't notice anything was wrong in time?"

More additional angst: Danny mentions the GIW in passing and when they ask for clarification they learn Danny's kind don't have rights and there's a government branch dedicated to hunting & catching him for "lots & lots of painful experiments"

[dissociativehyperfixating]

The potential worldbuilding that could be added to this though! So the GIW aren’t from amity, but they ALL wear sunglasses as part of their uniform right? What if instead of hiring liminals the GIW created glasses that could SEE ghosts! So imagine the justice league gets to amity and faces off against the GIW. In the confrontation one of the agents loses their glasses and a curious hero picks them up? Maybe flash? Maybe he puts them on as a joke? But then realizes as he turns to captain marvel, there is a translucent kid floating over marvels shoulder looking on in awe at the heroes in action. And it just clicks! Of course Bats confiscates the rest of the agents glasses after that, to pass around the the heroes present and also of course to reverse engineer more later. But the glasses can ONLY let you SEE ghosts, not hear them. so there is still a layer of angst involved, meaning any communication with ghosts still requires a magic user of liminal present.

[sonrium]

Things only got worse from there. The glasses confirmed that the GIW weren't harmless conspiracy theorists funded by the government. Everything they said became a whole lot darker. Ghosts being dangerous erratic creatures threatening humanity, how they have no emotions and were consentient, etc.

After the JL's discovery of the glasses, they decided to have a second look at one of the GIW bases. It became immediately obvious why they were such clean freaks, constantly wiping, disinfecting, changing clothes, etc. when nothing was there.

Green stains covered the walls in permanent discolored patches.

All the tanks, cages, and experimentation equipment that had been empty and pristine when they toured it the first time were full to bursting.

Everything from mutated animals to ghosts that could have passed as metahumans. Fresh glowing green smears coated the inside walls. Several huddled as far in the corners as possible while others thrashed to get out. The worst were the shelves. Chunks of dim green flesh floated in glass containers. Vials and syringes of various substances in neat trays.

Flash almost threw up. The dissection table getting cleansed, but there was so much green.

The JL come down on the GIW fast and hard with Danny and Captain Marvel leading the charge. The situation got complicated when the Fentons became a target as well.

I wrote this back in the beginning of July and forgot about it. Decided I would post it anyway while I am clearing my drafts.

[livinghalfway]

Do I look like your Father?

Danny was walking down the street late at night, suit jacket draped over one of his arms, feeling down. The blind date that he had been set up on had been a bust. The only thing he wants to do now is to go back to his apartment and spend the entire weekend relaxing.

When passing by a quiet alley something very suddenly slams into his leg. It causes Danny to momentarily stumble in his steps. It isn't until he regains his footing does he finally look to see what is clinging to his leg.

It's- it's a baby or more like a toddler really. If Danny had to guess he'd say the little boy was 2 or 3 at most. That thought is quickly thrown to the back of his mind when he notices that the kid is wrapped up in what is obviously a large, black cape. How on earth did he get that?

"Daddy!" Two tiny, watery blue eyes shine as they stare up at him, "You found me! I don't know how I got here, but you found me so we can go home now, right? Is mommy waiting for us there?"

What in the world is he supposed to do in this situation? "Ah, yeah buddy we can do that. Just as a fun game real quick though what's mine and mommy's name?"

"You're silly daddy! It's Thomas and Martha Wayne!"

"…Bruce?" He can't help but say the name. Is this really THE Bruce Wayne? It can't be, something else has to be going on right now.

"That's my name, great job daddy!" Bruce raises his arms for Danny to pick him up. "We go home now?"

"Sure uh let's go…home." Danny, not knowing what else to do, picks up the kid and starts making his way towards Wayne Manor.

He’s also going to continue to ignore the fact that it’s probably Batman’s cape wrapped around Bruce, and what that probably means.

[sonrium]

A quick search of the alley turned up no sign of who or what turned Bruce into a kid but it confirmed Danny's suspicions. A trail of loose black armor plates lead to a pile that looked like the molted remains of the one and only Batman.

Danny wanted to scream and curse Clockwork out in every language in the Infinite Realms. He was out of the game. This was his chance to live HIS life, not one dictated by powers, heroes, and trauma. Stumbling on the identity of the most paranoid big wig of them all? His chance at being normal was permanently over.

Batman (or Bruce) would dig up everything that Danny spent the last few years burying. His carefully crafted fake identity would never fool the world's greatest detective. He should leave. Drop everything. His job, his apartment, this kid. Drop it all. Find a new city, a new fake name, and never look back. Maybe go to some remote desert in the middle of nowhere. Right now. Right NOW.

"Daddy?" The boy shivered in his arms. "Cold," little Bruce murmered against Danny's chest.

A wave of numb resignation washed over him, and his body didn't feel like his anymore. Every second he spent with this child was another crank of the bare trap closing its jaws around him. The GIW would catch on the moment the big bat made his first poke. He'd just have get this over with, and hope he could far enough fast enough.

"Hold on, kiddo" he gently soothed and unhooked the heavy cape that had clearly been dragged through puddles of muck. He replaced it with his worm jacket and pulled it tightly closed around the boy. "Better?"

"Mm-hmm!" Bruce latched on and buried his face into Danny's chest. "Can we go home now?"

"Of course. Just a minute." Doing his best not to drop the kid, Danny gathered the armor and cowl into the cape and fashioned the four corners into a seudo backpack. Best not to leave any evidence of Batman laying around.

Ancients, it was heavy. It was fine for someone like Danny, but a normal human wearing this? He glanced down at the small bundle he was trying not to think about.

Bruce's eyes were huge as he stared back. At some point, one of his small hands had snuck out of the jacket and gripped a clump of Danny's button up that was quickly soaking in the gunk dripping off the cape. "I missed you, Daddy."

Something twisted in the pit of his stomach, breaking through the numb static. His chest ached. Everybody knew Bruce Wayne's tragic backstory. Their circumstance were very different, but Danny knew that pain. The loss and loneliness of having everything and everyone you know and love ripped away.

He pulled the boy in close, knowing it wouldn't bring back what either of what they had lost. "I... missed you too, kiddo."

Bruce latched onto Danny's neck and hugged him back.

Real or not, there was no way he could walk away. To this kid, that would be like getting abandoned all over again. Even if the only comfort Danny could give was a lie, Danny would stay and pretend. At least for the night.

Without much of a plan, Danny started the long treck to the affluent part of the city. The rocking lulled the kid who turned into a necklace of deadweight. Bruce's murmur was barely audibly against Danny's neck, "I love you Daddy..." as drifted off to sleep.

Danny rolled his eyes and kept walking. "Not even twenty yet, and I already got a kid. Jazz would be disappointed."

A few hours later, Danny finally made it to the ornate wrought iron gate with giant letters declaring it Wayne Manor. He'd been careful to avoid people and cameras on the way. The fog helped.

Without giving himself any time to hesitate, he pushed the call button. The entire road up the hill was covered in cameras, so there wasn't much point in trying to run now.

Nothing happened. Belatedly, Danny realized it was the middle of the night. Actually, this probably counted as early now. Did the people Bruce live with know he was Batman? Was he about to accidently expose his identity? Was anybody even here? This was a terrible idea!

What had he been think- Oh. Right. He hadn't.

He was about to bolt when a screen flickered to life, showing the most sophisticated old man Danny had ever seen. How he rocked a pair of pajamas and floppy sleeping hat, Danny didn't know.

He barely reacted to spotting raggedy teenager covered in alley grime with a toddler, and his tone was pure professionalism. "Wayne Manor. State your business."

Danny jolted back to the present. "Oh-uh..." In seconds, every braincell he had fled his mind. "I'm uuuuhh... it wasn't... I found... I didn't... I'll... come back later."

Nice going. They won't think that's suspicious at all. He turned to leave.

"Please wait, young man. You seem to be quite in distress. Can you tell me what I can assist you with? I would like to do what I can."

That request was so gentle and kind, Danny froze mid strid. He stared at his shoes. The hole in the left toe had gotten bigger. Maybe that's why his date called him a gutter rat despite wearing a new shirt, not that it looked it anymore. "Can I just drop him off and leave?" Danny shifted to indicate the sleeping bundle pressed against his chest. Danny didn't look up. "...please?" The last word came out as a mortifyingly plaintive plea.

"My. This seems to be rather dire. Why don't you come in out of the cold, and we can sort this out. At the very least, I can give you a warm cup of tea before you go on your way." He smiled gently, like a comforting grandfather that Danny never had.

"No no! That's okay-"

The screen went dark, and the enormous wrought iron gate swung inward. Danny sighed and walked through.

On his way to the door, he made a plan. Drop the kid off with this man, and explain that it's Bruce. Then find a bat or convenient roof to leave the bat stuff on. No secret identity problems, the kid wouldn't be alone, and Danny can get away as quick as possible. Simple.

The sudden wash of light when the front door opened briefly roused little Bruce. "Daddy? Are we there yet?" He mumbled. Little fists clenched the back of Danny's shirt.

This had happened a few times on the way there, so Danny knew what to do. He held him close again and rubbed his back soothingly. "Yeah, buddy. We made it. You don't need to worry anymore. Go back to sleep." He hummed contentedly, eyes sliding shut once more.

Danny froze. He completely forgot he had an audience. Sheepishly, Danny looked up. The man from earlier was now dressed in a full suit and silently ushed Danny inside.

"Welcome. I am Alfred Pennyworth. May I have your name, young man?" He kept his voice soft.

"Umm, I'd rather not? I don't plan on staying. I'm only here for him." Danny tried to be firm, but before Danny knew what was happening, he was sitting on a plush couch that had a towel draped over it. It would have been a shame to ruin the pulsatory especially since he still had Batman's disgusting cape tied around himself. A steaming cup of tea sat in front of him on an ornate coffee table of glass and oak. The room was small and cozy. It felt nice.

Mr. Pennyworth smiled gently down at the sleeping bundle. "Who is this little one?"

Danny laughed nervously. "Well, you see... you're not going to believe this... um... Bruce. It's Bruce."

Instead of scoffing or laughing, Pennyworth just nodded in warm understanding. Danny guessed it wasn't that unbelievable. Weird stuff happened in Gotham all the time. Still, it left Danny unsettled. This is not how somebody should be reacting to a stranger in their house.

"That was a fine choice. You are the spitting image of Master Thomas when he was your age. That was when I first started on at the manor. Those were good times. It would be a few more years before he met Master Martha. Simpler times." Mr. Pennyworth stared deeply into Danny's face with a with a distant smile, as if lost in the distant past he was mentioning.

Danny, a little confused but relieved by what he'd been told, didn't dwell on the comment.

Mr. Pennyworth wouldn't be a stranger to shrunken Bruce if he'd been around the Waynes that long. "That's a huge relief. I was so worried, but this is perfect. You know how to take care of him." Danny exhaled now that his biggest worry was taken care of. "I didn't know what else to do, so I just panicked and brought him here."

"It's quite alright. I had my suspicions when I saw you at the gate. But in person, the resemblance is undeniable. To think there really was one out there from Bruce's youthful dalliances. I suspected it was possible."

Danny's eyes went wide.

Oh.

OH.

He didn't think that Danny was-

Oh Ancients no.

Mr. Pennyworth chuckled. "Pardon an old man his memories. It is nice to remember those times before the tragedy. I have already sent word to Master Bruce. You came when he happen to be spending the night elsewhere, but I expect him to be along shortly. He will be thrilled to learn the family is growing again. Don't worry, there are many of us ready and eager to help you. " A warm hand pressed on Danny's bowed head in comfort, and Mr. Pennyworth reassure Danny in the most loving tone he'd heard in years. "You're not alone."

It was hard to breathe. His eyes stung. This whole night had just been one rollercoaster after another. He didn't need another one.

Danny stood abruptly. "Anyway, thank you for the tea, but I really have to get going. I'm so glad to know I will be leaving Bruce in good hands." He couldn't be here any longer. Surrounded in all this love and warmth that wasn't his.

Mr. Pennyworth rose with him, trying to calm him down. But Danny couldn't listen anymore. It was suffocating. He needed out.

Danny should have realized this sooner. The whole reason shrunken Bruce thought he was his dad must have been because he resembled the man. Party, billionaire, playboy Bruce Wayne, of course they got the wrong idea and-

"Calm down, or you'll wake Bruce." That finally made it through, and Danny hurriedly checked on his extra baggage. Bruce's scrunched face smoothed when Danny started rubbing his back again.

"Breathe." Mr. Pennyworth ordered. Danny followed in practiced rhythm just like he used to do with Jazz. The faster he appeared calm, the sooner he'd be able to leave.

Something beeped in Mr. Pennyworth's pocket. His expression soured. "Continue breathing. Everything will be okay. I need to go check on something, but I will be right back. We need to talk this out before you make a decision you might regret."

Mr. Pennyworth swiftly made his way out of the room, looking back constantly as if to pin Danny there with his eyes.

As soon as he was out of view, Danny knelt over the couch and listened to the receding steps with his enhanced hearing. Carefully, he shifted Bruce's body onto the cushions, trying not to wake him.

"You have visitors?" A new voice whispered. "At this hour, who-? Never mind. Later. I'm sorry, Alfred. We saw your urgent return signal for B, but..."

Danny could hear the disapproving glare from here. Time was running short. Mr. Pennyworth was about to figure out Danny wasnt who he though he was, and from that exchange, he knew about Bruce's night activities, too. Guess he shouldn't have worried about secret identities. This whole house was probably filled with traps. And he was an intruder. An imposter, even if it was by accident.

"And what is so important this time that he can't respond to a simple request? Just because it isn't the emergency signal does not mean he can ignore it."

Bruce was fully on the couch, tucked deeply into Danny's jacket. He'd just have to leave it. He liked that jacket. All that was left was to unhook the little arms from his neck. Danny carefully worked to uncurl the fingers tangled in his shirt.

"I'm sorry Alfie, but... we can't find B. He stopped responding, then everything went offline before we could reach him. Trackers. Coms. Radio. Everything."

Woops. Ecto tended to do that around technology.

"Why didn't you inform me immediately?"

Keep talking. Keep talking. Just a few more fingers left.

"It was your night off! We had to beg amd plead for you to take it, and we weren't going to ruin it over a false alarm. You know how often this happens, and 20 minutes later, everything's fine."

Mr. Pennyworth's voice was suddenly very serious and very urgent. "How long ago did this happen?"

Nononononono! He'd figured it out! Danny just needed to place Bruce's last hand inside the coat and he'd be clear.

The other voice sounded so small. "A few hours?"

Silence. And then the footsteps were on their way back with a second set.

Of course, that's when everything had to go wrong. As soon as Danny's hand left contact with Bruce, he jolted awake with a scream of panic scrambling to catch Danny's retreating hand. "Nooooooo!!! Daddy, don't leave me again! I don't wanna be alone again! Don't leave me! Don't leave me!!!"

His wails echoed through the halls. He clumsily threw himself off the couch in a desperate attempt to reach his father.

Danny tackled him out of the air just in time before he cracked his head into the sharp edge of the coffee table. Danny's sudden speed pulled one of the cape's knots loose and armor pieces clattered everywhere. They tumbled in a heap to the floor, Danny curled protectively around the sobbing child.

By some miracle, none of the heavy plates landed on the table.

Emotionally exhausted and too spent to care about escape anymore, Danny gave in. He was so tired. He didn't move except doing his best to sooth Bruce in their curled position... and to hide. Always to hide.

"Woah. I'll be honest, I did not see this coming." There was a click of a radio. "I found B."

Danny could feel the presence of Mr. Pennyworth over him. He didn't look. A warm hand touched his head.

Danny flinched away curling into a tighter ball. "I'm not getting out of here am I?"

I was originally planning to get into a little bit of shenanigans with the whole Batfam gathering as much material of Baby Bruce as possible for blackmail material, while they can find a cure. And after a few mishaps (*cough* Tim tracing Danny's identity despite him begging them not to look into him and alerting the GIW *cough cough*), they slowly get Danny to open up, all while he has to navigate being a single parent to a child with EXTREME separation anxiety (for obvious reasons).

Anyway, this has been in my drafts since late July/early August, so I think it's just time I end it and call it done. I hope you enjoyed!

[bowelfly]

i'm thinking about that shrew

[sonrium]

New Danny Phantom random animal form just dropped! Behold, the rare 'humbug' pygmy shrew, but Danny! He got the belt and everything. What weird situations can we put him in as one of these bad boys?

Complete the Trifecta! Danny gets to join Little Baby Man and Little Fur Baby Man on adventure as the humble "humbug" pygmy shrew!

My brain has rotted beyond repair. I apologize to the universe.

[sonrium]

One Bad Day? Now That's Actually Funny DPxDC

TW: mild gore

It was a typical 'Joker escapes and captures a bunch of people to torture them into insanity to become just like him' routine, but that didn't make it any less heinous because it was routine. When the broadcast came on like so many others, the Gothamites were ready to turn away and hope the Bats got there before too many were lost to the clown's twisted games.

Except one of the captives wasn't following the standard script. The mouthy ones usually shut up quickly, but this one kept going. Every time the Joker thought he'd made his point and went to pick out a new plaything, the boy would fire off another insult or taunt, anything and everything from questioning the Joker's clown credentials to weaponizing the color wheel. This Wayne adoption bait stooped to every extreme, nothing was off the table.

Seeing the Joker lose a little more control each time would have been hilarious if it wasn't so terrifying. But it worked. The Joker was too fixated on the boy to care about the rest.

"Everyone is just one bad day from becoming me."

The kid stilled as if he finally remembered to feel fear, then he threw his head back and howled with laughter through bloody teeth and broken bones. "One bad day? Now that is actually funny." Tears of mirth left clean stripes down his bloody face.

Tired of the comedy sketch, Joker decided he'd had enough of being upstaged. "Gas him."

A mask with a canister of Joker Venom was forced onto the boy's face by the masked goons that had been beating him. He cackled as the boy coughed in lungfuls of his latest mixture. It was a bit early to pull the big guns. Batman was always so broody and boring when one of the toys died before he got there, but c'est la vie.

He turned to the camera continued his show with the kid as a cautionary tale. Until he was interrupted yet again.

"Woooooow. Talk about a cop out. You need drugs to make people laugh at your jokes? That's just sad." It came out breathless and labored as the kid shook his head in mock sympathy.

"Oh how interesting. I'll guess there are a few more kinks in the formula I need to work out."

"Nope, I'm seeing some wild shit like no tomorrow, but after the incomprehensible horror of the afterlife and Dash's gym locker? This is a relaxing spa day. AKA: booooooooring. FYI, sharing your kinks with a minor is very frowned upon in our society. You should read up on your local laws." The strain in his voice was evident, but still no laughter came out.

An eerie calm settled over the Joker, before his grin returned with a vengeance. "I was going to save this for the finale, but our very special guest has volunteered to go first." He whipped a curtain off a clear person sized tank attached to hoses and canisters. "This will take but a moment, so hold on folks. This will be quite the show."

The Joker dragged the limp boy toward the tank.

Colors danced in Danny's vision, but he had a lot of practice separating reality from the lies.

He hated clowns on a good day, and this was not a good day, and Crayola face was the same kind of scum as Freakshow. He didn't need his powers to make his point.

Seeing his moment, Danny twisted and caught the edge of the curtain with his foot. He kicked it over the Joker's head and bucked out of his grasp. His hands slick from blood slid easily out of the ropes.

Now free, he ripped the mask off with a gagging sound. "You should know better than to brake someone's thumbs. Makes it easy to slip out of bonds, you know?"

In moments, Danny had the clown's face rammed against the tank's wall with one hand on the back of his neck. The other wrapped around the bastard's wrists, lifting them painfully upward.

Danny ignored the grinding of his finger bones. "You're right. Everyone is a lot closer to becoming you than anyone wants to admit. But there's something that you are too weak to understand. At the end of the day, it's always a choice. You choose to spread violence and destruction."

Making sure his back was too the camera, Danny released his hold on his facial muscles, allowing the manic grin of insanity on full display. The echo of his future evil self that he kept locked away rising to the surface for just a moment. The single eye looking back at him widened. Lifting to his tip toes to reach the coward's ear, Danny leaned in close and whispered coldly, "As for me, I balance on that knife's edge every Ancients forsaken day. And you should be very, very glad I choose not to." He let a little echo and a hint of the infinite leak into his tone, as a treat.

Danny pressed on a vein on the bastard's neck until he crumpled to the floor unconscious.

Danny swayed then doubled over to dry heave and spit. "Uuuuuuugh, I'm gonna be sick. That stuff tastes worse than that time I had to eat Dash's underwear." He heaved again and waved to the camera. "Don't gamble, kids. Not worth it."

Of course, that's when the Bats bust through the skylight.

[iamsomeonehere]

The portal has been closed. Danny no longer has access to the infinite realms. So he decides to travel.

He found a traveling circus to join. He met a beautiful woman and changed his name. He had a child that’s he loves more than the world. His life is good.

Until he’s murdered. Being fully ghost means he’s stuck in the infinite realms with no way to see his little boy. His robin.

That is until the justice league needs help from the ghost king.

[sonrium]

The invasion had been nothing like any before. Effective in its simplicity. The invaders came from nowhere, gave no warning, and made no contact whatsoever. Billions upon billions of ships surrounded Earth so thickly it blocked out the sun like a curtain, engulfing the world in an endless void of black. The planet cooled in a matter of hours, changing air currents tore the world apart with endless storms, plants died, and supplies were running thin.

No matter how many ships they were destroyed, what slivers of light they opened up lasted only moments.

The world was suffocating.

The only reason they resorted to such drastic measures as summoning the King of the Infinite Realms was because if the world was ending anyway, they didn't have much to lose.

In the biggest ritual room in the Watchtower, Constantine cast the dice.

The Kings voice fractured dimensions and was barely contained by his most powerful translation spell. It still grated against his soul with every word. The judger of gods and the restless dead had shown itself to fitting of the title, with a wit sharper than its teeth. None of Constantine's usual tricks worked. Careful wording, double entendres, offering his soul... nothing. The King didn't even seem to have pride or vanity that Constantine could leverage or manipulate either. It simply refused everything offered.

After the JL and Constantine exhausted every other avenue they had left, he reluctantly agreed on behalf of the Earth to the price it would name after it eliminated the invasion. NO conditions. At least this way, there was a chance that some of humanity would be spared.

When Constantine shook the King's 'hand' binding the contract, its grin activated every primal fear in his DNA. Pure, unadulterated terror washed through him like dry ice crystalizing outward from the contact into every cell of his body. It hit Constantine that he was out of his depth and had no idea what he was dealing with. Under the monstrous form of limbs, claws, and tail made of the eternal abyss accented by the light of creation was an abomination beyond any eldritch entity he could comprehend.

And that was the smile of a dragon playing with a mouse.

Without another word, the ruler of the Infinite Realms turned to the window that appeared as a pitch black wall and waved the limb Constantine shook. The sky turned a blinding, unbroken green. As quickly as it came, it vanished, and in its place, the sun shone like any other day. The Watchtower hadn't even shuddered.

To Constantine's senses, it was as if everything in a certain range from the surface of the Earth had been sliced from existence with surgical precision. The fabric of reality knitted itself back together so perfectly, no signs that gaping hole in reality had been there at all.

Constantine breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. Now, it was time to find out what fire-

But the King wasn't done. It swept its 'hand' down toward the Planet. The change was immediate. The ice that encased half the planet melted, hurricanes vanished, and vegetation bloomed. It wasn't a reset to a previous point in time. No. This was much more nuanced. Constantine could feel it.

Everything that had died was gone, but dead plants were replaced by new growth, displaced wildlife was returned to their homes with a boost to help them restore their biomes, frostbite and starvation was healed, and structures and buildings were repaired if the rapidly vanishing damage to the Watchtower was any indication.

It did not fix everything. Anything that was broken, sick, or contentious from before the invasion remained so. Earth's problems remained.

...That hadn't been part of the deal.

The King had done that of its own volition. It set Constantine's teeth on edge. The only reason it would do that was to show its absolute control. The worst part was it worked.

Constantine really hadn't comprehended what he unleashed until that moment. He'd faced countless beings capable of far greater destruction, but healing the fundamental makeup of the world like it was an afterthought?

Cold sweat broke out under Constantine's coat. He'd gotten what he asked for, but now, it was time to pay the piper.

"About my payment, there is someone you must find and bring to me. He is mine."

...

This was fine. This was totally and completely fine.

How this unknowable entity from beyond every reality knew the name 'Richard Grayson,' Constantine wasn't going to question.

One soul as payment was a goddamned miracle of miracles. A pipe dream that Constantine still wasn't sure he believed. He had been expecting the enslavement of their souls at the very least or blood sacrifices until the end of time. So the loss of one silver spoon licking wanker from Bludhaven, the literal rotting trash heap worse than Gotham, was nothing.

Or at least it should have been if it wasn't for Batman.

To summarize an extremely vicious and contentious series of events that almost resulted in the dismantling of the Justice League: the King of the Infinite Realms refused to change its demand and stopped responding to any attempts at conversation, and after weeks of back and forth, the Bats ONLY agreed to allow Grayson to talk with the King for the explicite purpose of finding an alternative payment.

While all this went on, the King had done nothing but silently watch the stars with an ever-shifting number of toxic green eyes. That type of cold impatience left Constantine terrified what price they would pay for the delay. Batman had no understanding of how precarious their situation was.

After the Bats' failed to make any technology work in the presence of the King in the hopes of a video call, here they finally were with the sacrifice in tow, walking down a hall of the Watchtower to the ritual room. Every Bat and Bird was equipped to the nines and surrounding this average looking chap like a living shield.

Constantine didn't know what all the fuss was about. This Grayson bloke repeatedly vocalized from within the wall of bodies his willingness to hand over his soul. Called it a fair trade. Good lad.

"You will not sacrifice yourself. That's an order." Batman's voice was harsher than Constantine had ever heard it.

"It's my life. They saved everyone and everything I care about. That's more than enough."

Constantine stopped with his hand on the door.

"Denied. We will find another way. This will only be a discussion. Understood?"

To cut off the argument that had been cycling on repeat since they entered the tower, Contantine interjected, "Yes! For the last time, it's completely contained within the binding circle. Can't affect anything outside it since it completed its end of the bargain. The only thing it can do is talk." Constanine opened the door without waiting for the go-ahead. "Fair warning, if your ears start to bleed, that's normal."

Batman glared at him as they stepped inside without another word to stand before the King.

It gazed out into space with its back to them, none of the multitudinous green eyes were visible as it gazed out at the universe. Constantine closed the door and stepped off to the side of the Bats. Standing close to the object of a master of gods fury generally wasn't good for one's health.

Constantine cleared his throat, praying that the world would still be in tact after this. "Your Majesty, we have brought Richard Grayson as you requested."

Everything stilled around the King, every indistinct shifting particle of its being froze as if the very fabric of reality was holding its breath (Which was a terrifying possibility).

Slowly, ever so slowly, it turned.

Every one of the King's eyes was focused solely on Grayson. Constantine doubted it even registered that anybody else was there.

The King's form evaporated like mist in a swirl of particulate as something condensed at its center.

When it cleared, a man stood with his feet on the ground wearing simple black clothing, the crown above his head was the only adornment. It shimmered and rippled like a living curtain of the aurora borealis. His features were too sharp to be fully human. His eyes glowed the same unnatural shade as before, and his hair flowed like an etherial white fog, swaying and insubstancial.

Then the King stepped out of the circle like it wasn't there, shoes silent against the hard floor.

Constantine felt like he shit a house in shock.

Every bat jumped into fighting stances. Warnings turned into demands, then threats as he approached. Constantine jumped in doing his best at damage control, but he was too late as everything devolved into violence.

The King didn't react to any of it as he stopped in front of them. Every attack went straight through him.

"...Robin?"

The voice was breathless and thin with only a slight echo. Sorrow, yearning, and love all wrapped around that single word like a lifeline. The King's face was open and vulnerable in desperate hope.

Grayson stood stock still at the center, refusing the arms that tried to pull him to safety as he stared back in shocked wonder.

"...Tata?"

The quiet call of 'father' cut through the chaos like a stone to glass.

"My little robin. My boy." Tears glimmered in the King's eyes, and a tender smile lit up his face like a beacon. His arms made an aborted motion to reach out when something uncertain flickered through his expression.

Dick vaulted forward, latching every one of his limbs around the man so tightly as to never let go and burying his face into the crooks of his father's neck. "Tata!" He heaved in wet sobs.

The King clung back, cradling him and humming a quiet lullaby. "I thought you followed me, but I couldn't find you. I have never been happier to be wrong. Oh how you've grown."

Before long, the King was quietly mingling with the Bats like a freaking person. Constantine stayed well out of it, wondering why the King hadn't taken his prize and killed them all already.

A voice that was way too soft to be Batman but was definitely coming out of Batman jolted Constantine out of his suble creep toward the door. "One father to another, would you allow Dick a little more time before you collect his soul? He is young, and this world would be a darker place without him."

The King's face contorted in confusion. Then, his head snapped glare at Constantine with daggers he could actually feel against his skin. "Is that what took so long? I never said anything about taking anybody's soul. I just asked to see my son."

Constantine decided this was an excellent time to make his exit. In a flash of sparks, Constantine was in the House of Mysteries safe and sound and out of whatever bullshit he stumbled into.

...until a voice filtered into his head. "We will have words later."

Note: pointed out in a Tumblr post that I can't find (if you know it @ me so I can credit), Daniel means "God is my judge," so I choose to believe that when "Danny Phantom" is filtered through Constantine's imperfect magic translation, it comes out as "I am the judger of gods and the restless dead" because that is cool as hell and sounds like a proper introduction for the literal Master of the Infinite.

Edit: someone found it! This is the post that inspired the name miscommunication.

[theartingace]

Murderbot meets ART (who knew transports could be smart enough to be MEAN)

[stealingyourbones]

Short DPXDC Prompts #682

Tucker finally gets his hands on a Wayne Tech phone. It’s far more powerful than his PDA. The universe trembles in fear with what he can do with just a little upgrade.

[stealingyourbones]

Bongo I fucking love you. I am dead on the ground cackling at that mental image. @bongo-clash

[babbling-babull]

Imagine

Some rougue manages to hack the Batcomputer... only to be thrown out by another hacker?!?!?!? And now their computer is completely full of shitty memes because of some virus that actively uploads them?

Or maybe

[Bat of your choice] is helping the JL fight a hacked Cyborg and they can't do anything. Before the comms are taken over with an obviously distorted voice. "Keep him busy for a little longer, I'm almost done"

When asked after the fight who he is they hear panicked whispering before the mystery hacker says something along the lines of "Umm... Call me Pharaoh, the [Batfam members present] should know me as the meme guy"

[stealingyourbones]

@bongo-clash

[babbling-babull]

To help get all of these ideas on one post in (roughly) the order they were reblogged

[treepainting]

I thank you for compiling this absolute goldmine of hilarity

[sonrium]

Danny would 100% call Tucker's signature hacking motif his "gorilla tactic." None of Team Phantom buy his excuses and promises that it is on purpose.

I needed a signature, ya know? Something that really represents all of us. So why make something new when I already had the perfect choice? I'm helping bring attention to a poor, nearly extinct species to save-shut up Sam!- save it. Plus, 'purple' is like your whole deal. And Delilah defines Danny because it was the first time anyone mistook him for a a genious. So you see, why improve on something that was already perf-Danny! What are you doing? Wha- NO. STOP!!! Don't link it with my pick up line folder!

A precious wholesome moment shared between friends.

The Batfam squinting at the batcomputer, Tim reading aloud in confusion: Excuse me, I think you dropped your standards. Hi, I'm Pharoh?

Nightwing absolutely dying from on the floor from laughter, eyes pouring and ribs aching: If you don't date Pharoh, I will! That was amazing!

[lvrbymj]

Danny is sitting inside Jitters sipping his coffee and watching Flash get his ass absolutely handed to him across the street by Captain Cold. He thinks Flash is having one of Those Days cause this is honestly getting really hard to watch.

And that’s Danny ‘King-of-scrappy-I-will-throw-sand-in-your-eyes-for-an-advantage’ Nightingale saying that. Alas there is no sand here. Only concrete. 

Oh, those ice beams are getting awful close. Oh wow, okay, maybe the Flash is going to actually die right now. Is Danny about to witness murder? Huh.

Okay. Maybe he should…help. Now.

[a-god-in-crime-alley]

Cold takes a step just close enough to Danny’s table outside and Danny just splashes his super hot coffee on the freeze gun. Shorting out its system and rendering it a sparking mess that catches on fire.

Captain Cold just stands there bewildered. Before dropping it because it burned his hand.

“What the fuck kid?!”

“…You were getting to close to my cinnamon roll. This was the last one they have for the day since the baker had to go home.”

[seraphichana]

Captain Cold getting progressively more wound up about not being able to get one over on this random kid.

[lvrbymj]

I'm all for Danny being called a random schmuck bc he totally is.

This is makin me giggle real hard. Imagine Cold trying to get back at Danny, but no, he can't make it obvious because Captain Cold is so obviously above targeting some - some guy. No Flash, why would some dickwad college student have any place in his mind? Don't you know, he's busy being Serious and Schemeing.

What's worse than destroying someone emotionally and / or physically? A complete landslide of minor inconveniences that build up over the course of weeks. As they say, revenge is best served - Cold.

[sonrium]

Except why the heck is NOTHING working?!?!

This kid never stubs his toes on conveniently protruding corners. Waves off all accidental spills on him Cold orchestrates or causes like

Thus, Cold's attempts at subtle inconveniences escalate.... and escalate.... and escalate.

He doesn't realize how overt and obvious his attempts have become because Danny keeps batting them off or seemingly not noticing them at all.

Replacing Danny's coffee with enough menthol syrup to stagger an elephant? (Smaller amounts didn't work)

Danny sips: Damn. Decaf.

Cold: ripping his nonexistant hair out and stamping his feet.

Danny smacks his lips: Actually... *downs cup in one go* WOOOO! Now that's a wake-up call! That was awesome, Launa. Can you make it like that again tomorrow?

Freeze rays popping out of panels and firing at him in his 8 a.m. lecture hall?

Danny: expertly dodges away from other students to prevent collateral while pulling out his phone and typing rapidly looking almost bored. In 20 seconds, the guns power down.

Students: 0o0

Teacher: -_- It's too early for this.

Cold:

Danny rubbing the back of his neck embarassed: Sorry. I forgot it was the first Tuesday of the month.

Everyone: What does that even mean???

Danny is back at the same café struggling over some college assignment.

Cold is standing over him, staring at Danny through the scope of his latest freeze ray deluxe. But the kid isn't reacting to the looming threat. The server brought out a steaming cinnamonroll with icing melting into the spiral, content to keep a weary eye on Cold

Everyone had gotten used to the sight of the pair.

"This looks absolutely amazing! Thank you Talia."

Cold was about to pull the trigger when he saw what the kid was working on. It was a particularly annoying problem on figuring out the unknown heat transfer coefficient of a composite wall in parallel.

The gun dropped. What was the point? Nothing he did got a reaction.

Enough was enough. As he turned to leave, he half-heartedly lifted his gauntlet to the pastry that upstaged an armed and dangerous super villain.

A fist crashed upward on his forearm, redirecting the shot to the sky.

"That's it! Strike two Mr. That was your second chance. Clearly, a warning wasn't enough." Danny grabbed Cold's arm and dragged him down into the spare patio chair next to the kid.

"You know thermodynamics, right? You are going to sit there and tell me what the heck is going wrong here." The kid points emphatically to the lines of calculations scrawled in his notebook.

Cold, stares dumbfounded at this baby-faced civilian ordering him around like a misbehaving child.

"You don't want a strike three."

In that moment, Cold decides that he really, really doesn't want to find out. Too tired to argue, he looks over the problem, and he starts the tutoring session to a surprisingly attentive listener.

[sonrium]

Wait! This isn't my House DP x DC

In which Danny's habit of fiddling with all the guns and weapons left in every conceivable nook and cranny of the Fenton household lead to a very awkward moment during his first tutoring session. Meanwhile, Jason is trying not to shit bricks.

"But it's IMPOSSIBLE to know what the author was TRYING to say!!!"

Jason watched the kid sitting across from him threw up his hands in frustration and start pacing the length of his apartment. This was the first time the skittish kid had taken Jason up on his offer to tutor English. Jason just rolled his eyes when he found out Danny's essay was due tomorrow and let him in.

Jason owned all the rooms adjacent to his main safe house, so he was surprised to spot the kid stepping out of the apartment below his a few weeks ago. No matter what Jason tried, Danny Nightingale was a big mystery, but he was definitely running from something.

"The whole point of the essay isn't to figure that out."

"That's literally the assignment!!! Word for word!" Danny huffed then flopped onto the worn couch with his arms crossed.

Jason got up from the stool at the kitchen counter and joined Danny in the armchair by the coffee table. "The point of the essay isn't to figure that out. It's to show that you know how to make a claim and support it. That's it. Most teachers don't care what you argue, so long as you show that it is a possible interpretation."

"Then why didn't anybody ever just say that?!" Danny seemed to be having an epiphany while constipated. "I've been pulling my hair out because I actually read the book and wanted to do it right this time! And you're saying I could have just said 'green symbolizes golf or unicorns or something' and called it a day?"

Jason laughed. "In a way, yeah. It's an unobtainable dream so Gatsby is basically chasing something that doesn't exist. A metaphorical unicorn hunt."

"I hate everything."

Jason tried not to laugh.

"I don't care. I'm not going to write about that stupid green light. Not after all that."

"Okay. Then let's look at something else." Jason decided to just start talking about different aspects of the book. It wasn't often he actually got to talk to anybody about literature and he could see a spark of interest and consideration taking root in the boy's eyes.

"The Great Gatsby is also a rare example where the main character isn't the protagonist of the story."

Danny fidgeted in place, having trouble sitting still despite paying attention. His hands wandered over the couch cushions, playing with seams and picking at one of the older stains. Jason hadn't had the chance to clean up properly, and the kid was getting uncomfortably close to-

Jason watched in horror as the kid's hand reached between the cushions and pulled out a full magazine. Jason froze, waiting for the inevitable freak out, running through the possible excuses.

Instead, Danny checked how full it was and tapped absently at one of the rubber bullets, his brow furrowed in thought. "How can the main character not be the protagonist? Don't they mean the same thing?"

Sweat pricked on back. Had someone found out his identity? Red Hood's weakness for kids had eventually leaked. Was this a trap? A threat? Was the kid sent by someone? Jason forced his hand not to reach for the gun tucked in the hidden pocket on the side of the armchair.

"He's actually mostly a spectator or a lens through which we see the story play out."

It was Crime Alley. Someone owning a gun wasn't that crazy. As long as he didn't find any of the hidden pockets that he kept the weapons in, he could play it off.

"But wait... doesn't he actively hide Daisy and Gatsby's relationship from the husband guy? And he does other stuff."

They continue to talk and Danny's wandering hands pull out every weapon he had stashed in the couch without reacting to any of it. Various knives and magazines that were clearly for almost a dozen different types of gun were all looked over for a few moments, then placed back or set out on the coffee table in a line.

Jason cleared his throat and continued the conversation barely aware of what he was saying by the time the kid withdrew one of his spare pistols from the hidden pocket on the underside of the couch.

Danny's hands ran over the surfaces, flicking the safety and pulling out the magazine, checking the chamber while he asked another question.

The next thing Jason knew, the gun was completely disassembled. Every piece scattered across the table

Danny stareed at the ceiling in concentration while his hands are moving and dismantling the gun. Within seconds, it's completely disassembled across the coffee table.

Jason was in awe. He did that faster anyone he'd ever scene except himself and a few other gun specialists, and he did it without even looking. What life was this kid running away from to have enough skill that it looked like a goddamned fidget toy instead of a weapon.

"No. In the context of the Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald isn't the author. Nick Carraway is. Sort of like how the Lord of the Rings is an Autobiography by Frodo."

"Sorry to interrupt, but you have to tell me what oil you use. This thing is smooth as butter. Though you might have to double check your sight alignment on this one. I think it's a bit off."

Jason stared.

Danny looked at him expectantly. Then his eyes followed Jason's stare.

"Oh shit!" Danny's eyes widen in horror and exactly what was in his hand. "I'm so sorry! Habit just kind of took over. I shouldn't have messed with your gun without asking."

That was not the problem here!

The kid reassembled the gun in a blur, tucking it securely back in it's hidden alcove along with everything else he'd left out on the table.

Face tinged red, he turned back to Jason. "So Nick is the author, so he's also an 'unreliable narrator.'"

Jason doesn't know how he got through the rest of the discussion, but by the end of it, they threw together a solid outline and gathered several quotes that would work.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Jason. I couldn't have done this without you." The kid was positively glowing with pride over Jason helping him make a couple notes. "Would... would it be okay if I came back if I have trouble again?"

"Sure kid. This was actually a lot of fun. I got to relax. Nobody wants to talk to me about books anymore." And surprisingly, it really was true. He couldn't remember he'd been this calm or the pit waters had been this quiet. Maybe there was something to that 'art is therapy' junk after all.

"I can see that when you look like fridge and smell like a sewer." The kid dashed off before Jason could ruffle his hair or

"Hey-!" Jason shouted but he was already gone.

Jason pulled out the gun the kid had messed with. It was perfectly assembled and just as he said, the sights were indeed slightly off. Looks like Jason would have to call in the big guns.

Pulling out his phone, he grudgingly dialed the number. This was going to cost him. "Yo Timberly, I need your help and you can't tell Bruce."

Danny bounced down the sidewalk on his way to the library to type up his paper. Who knew having somebody actually explain things

Danny's face heated at how inconsiderate he'd been. He was amazed Mr. Jason was okay with him coming back after he'd made such a fool of himself. He'd never done anything like that before. Sam and Tuck hadn't cared if he stripped down the Fenton Bazooka while talking.

His mo- Maddie could get really possessive when he'd accidently mess with her guns. Of course he should have asked first. Wait, he was missing something.

Danny foot caught his ankle when something obvious clicked into place and almost face planted. He grabbed his hair in both his hands. "Ancients! That's not my house!"

I wrote this as a reblog for someone's concept, and Tumblr ATE IT!!! Then I absolutely could not find the original post. It's been a few weeks, and I did the best to recreate some of it, but I'm getting frustrated. This is what you get. Take it or leave it.

Found it! Inspired by this post: here!

[stealingyourbones]

I need Danny to have an absolutely absurd sense of taste after he becomes a half ghost. Not only does it let him consume inedible objects and foods far denser than any human could consume, but it also causes him to gain new favorite flavors that are horrifying without context.

Batman watching Danny in the watchtower helping a mechanic figure out an issue in the ghost shielding tech and silently notes down that Phantom can consume inedible objects as the teen eats the mechanics 10mm wrench and socket like they’re a candy bar.

Jaime Reyes watches in mild horror as Phantom sprays WD-40 into his morning coffee, swirls it around a bit, and then drinks it, seemingly satisfied with his addition to his coffee concoction.

Kyle Rayner checking his ring to see if Oa’s databases know if ghosts should be eating molten plastic. Like is it enrichment for them?

[sonrium]

Not the 10 mm socket wrench!!! Danny chose that one specifically to be a menace! That is a targeted attack on the mechanic. It's literally the size used on everything. I kept a 10 mm in my car's center console for years because if something went wrong, it is almost always the one I need.

When going to the classes or the workshop, the 10 mm was in my backpack. Nothing beats the utter shock and awe when you pull that sucker out at the exact moment they need it with zero context.

As for the WD40, if asked, Danny would absolutely respond that it's to prevent squeaking for improved stealth.

I would also like to add, he would absolutely eat the tidepods.

[thelotusrabbit]

DpxDc #16

Vent on main.

Danny finds out that insomnia is a bitch.

A bitch that wants you to roll over and cry in frustration.

Danny also found out that taking late-night walks helps slightly, not with the exhaustion, but just not to cry.

Maybe stumbling in the streets of Gotham in the middle of the night wasn’t the best idea. In the best-case scenario, he would be mistaken for a drunkard and left alone.

In the worst-case scenario, the GIW would find him and take him away.

This other scenario was… unexpected.

It started when a stranger bumped into him while he was trying to keep his footing. The man was apologetic and…

“Oh, I’m so sorry, man! I was looking at my phone, I found out today that they are increasing my rent. That, plus the hospital and lawyers' fees… I don’t know if I’ll make it to the end of the month…”

The man kept going, and going, about everything going on in his very tragic life, and, at some point, he started crying.

If Danny were more lucid, then he would walk away awkwardly.

But he wasn’t.

So he just stood there, not even listening.

At the end, the man dried off his tears, thanked him for listening, and walked away.

Danny just nodded and waved.

But the thing is, it kept happening.

People find a way to stop him and vent their life problems on him, unloading everything and leaving Danny very, very disoriented.

He doesn’t even know how, but he ends up in Crime Alley, on a rooftop.

Next to him, crying, a man with a domino mask and dark hair.

“-and I somehow feel justified, you know? I’ve been through hell and back, and everybody treated me like shit from the start. Like, don’t be surprised if the person you treat like a criminal starts behaving like one-“

The man's voice broke during the rant, and Danny really wanted to feel bad for him, but he was about to pass out and couldn’t bring himself to pay attention.

---------------------------------------------

or, ghosts are creatures that can influence others or be influenced by emotions. People feel compelled to vent to him because of the vibes he gives off.

[sonrium]

Another sleepless night, another rooftop conversation with the domino mask dude. How did Danny even get up here? When did he get up here? He stopped questioning it after the 9th random encounter.

Jason: ... and when they found out I was back, they didn't look at me the same. Like I was a completely different person. Sure, I changed. I DIED. But it was like all they could see was how I didn't fit their perfect rose-tinted memories of someone that never existed in the first place. Thanks. You're the only one that doesn't instantly shut me down when I try and say anything about my death. Everyone else? Forget it. They say I'm alive again, so I shouldn't dwell on it. Hello? I'M the one that died. But THEIR feelings matter more because they were sad? Unreal.

Danny, barely aware and only computing every third word, sloppily nods: Unreal. At least people noticed when you died. I just got shoved in a locker the day after like nothin' happened.

Jason, wonder coloring his tone: Are you... like me? You died, too?

Danny, head lolling into what might be a nod, tries to string together some semblance of words but not wanting to leave the dude hanging: Kinda, but not like totally? I'm not a rem... revment... remnant... the revenge dead thing? But I get you. That was your dead-death, and now they are making it about them? Not cool. That's like... like mega Karen, witch with a capital B move. That shit's worse than hijacking your wedding. Who wouldn't be mad? They're the poopy heads.

Jason breaking down even harder and suddenly wrapping Danny up in a bone crushing hug: I'm not alone. I'm not alone.

Meanwhile, who Danny can't even remember two sentences back, pats him on the back awkwardly, and just follows the last thought he remembers: Karen crap bastards. All of 'em.

But then the warmth of the hug and the slight rocking get to him. It's comfy. The hold is secure. He doesn't want to be rude, but he is so tired. Closing his eyes for just a second should be fine. With his insomnia, there's no chance he'd actually fall asleep, right? He'd stumble away like always as soon as he was free.

Danny wakes up the next morning feeling the most rested he's been in ages. It was only a couple hours, but it did wonders.

He can't remember the last time his head felt this clear, so a big problem is immediately obvious. That isn't his ceiling. This isn't his couch.

[secretsdcblog]

An Incomplete List of Nicknames For One Timothy Drake-Wayne

Tim (unanimous)

Timmy (Dick and Jason)

Timbo (Dick and Jason)

Timbit (Dick, Jason and Steph)

Timtam (Dick and Jason)

Timberly (Jason and Steph)

Timantha (Jason and Steph)

Timber (Dick, Jason and Steph)

Timbuktu (Jason)

Timmy Time (Jason)

Shiver Me Timbers (Jason)

The Artist Formerly Known As Tim (Duke)

The Tim-inator (Dick)

Timmysaurus rex (Duke)

Argen-Tim-a (Jason, Duke and Steph)

Gua-Tim-ala (Dick, Jason and Duke)

Timzania (Steph)

Timothee Chalamet (Dick, Jason, Steph and Duke)

Timcicle (Jason)

Baby Bird (Bruce, Dick and Jason)

Stalker (Jason and Damian)

Drop-Out (Damian)

Sport (Bruce)

Champ (Bruce, Dick and Jason)

Buddy (Bruce and Dick)

Little Brother (Cass)

Kitten (Selina)

Pint Size (Jason and Harley Quinn)

Short Stack (Harley Quinn)

Slugger (Harley Quinn)

Santa's Little Helper (Young Justice)

Timbaland (Duke)

T-Money (Duke)

T-Dog (Duke)

Timmy Turner (Dick, Jason and Steph)

Mothman (Kon-El)

Tinie Timpah (Jason, Steph and Duke)

Feel free to add on to this

[sonrium]

Excellent. *evil cackle*

You've put them all together in one place. Isn't that convenient? I will never again be so dull and quaint as to refer to my dear Timantha by an unadorned moniker! BWAHAHAHA!!!