I Got The Juice

[igotthejuice]

I Got The Juice

Available at Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-got-the-juice-tianii-sharpe/1142837488?ean=9798985547412

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-got-the-juice-tianii-sharpe/1142837488?ean=9798985547412

[igotthejuice]

Alyn Got the Juice...Literally

Soooo this one is a bit of a moral check…definitely questioning myself atm.  I knew shit would get weird but I wasn’t expecting this.  Ugh, let me just explain, maybe I’m not that fucked up of a person.  Alright, where to start???  Hmmmm, okay, lets start with the invite.  So in the last blog I told you guys my state is starting to open back up or whatever but things still aren’t open.  So yea, because of that, everyone is doing these little cookouts and plus the weather was really nice last weekend so people were out.  So, a friend invited me to a cookout, her birthday was in March but since she couldn’t celebrate she figured she would wait until outside opened to celebrate.  The party was actually lit, she has a pool in her backyard and she had a DJ and a bar. Pool + DJ + Bar = A good time.  So anyways, she’s a mutual friend of me and my ex so she gave me a heads up that he would probably be there too with his new girl.  I kind of figured that but I honestly didn’t care, I really am over him.  So anyways, we’ll just call him Avery because why not? So before I get in to this story I should tell you why Avery and I aren’t together.  I’ll give you the somewhat short version.  So pretty much, things were good, we had good communication; good sex and liked similar things.  He’s very active in our community and does a lot of community service.  Sometimes I would go with him to serve.  So there was one girl I met while helping him one day. She was homeless.  She had just become homeless and was looking for a job.  Her parents were in another country and she and her sister weren’t on good terms.  She literally had no one.  But, she was hella dope and I fucked with her so she would come over for dinner occasionally. Lol y’all are probably like, “I know where this shit is going.”  Let me keep going though.  So, as you can guess, she eventually moved in with us while she was saving her money and we all became really close.  Plot twist, she actually turned out to be hella dope and that’s the girl who’s having the pool party, she’s fucking rich now, her story is actually so motivating. But anyways, one day when she was still living with us she said she needed to talk to me alone, without Avery there.  I assumed she was having guy problems and needed to vent.  So we went out to eat one Saturday night, and she told me that she had something to tell me about Avery.  My stomach instantly dropped because if anyone, especially another girl, is telling you they have to tell you something about your partner, it’s never good.  I was a little annoyed with her because it seemed like she was trying to build up the anticipation.  She kept dragging it out…kind of like I’m doing now lol.  So anyways, she finally tells me that Avery is cheating on me. No surprise that that’s what she had to tell me.  I asked her how she knew, she said the other day she walked in on Avery eating someone else out.  Now let me just pause here for a sec.  Fucking someone else? Okay that’s fucked up but if you used a condom we might be able to move past that shit but you’re putting your mouth on someone else’s pussy?! It’s a fucking wrap fam.  You gotta go!  So anyways, she said they were obviously scared shitless and they begged her not to tell me.  Apparently he promised her he would tell me.  Well a week went by and he never told me so she figured she said she couldn’t keep it from me any longer.  If shit couldn’t get any worse, I asked her who the girl was and she said “I actually asked her to come to the dinner date.”  Some of you are probably thinking this girl is hella messy and wondering why I’m still friends with her. I’m not gonna lie, it did take me a while for me to talk to her again and we’ve never been that close since that day but I have her at a place where I trust her.  So anyways, she calls the girl and tells her to come in…who walks in?  Her FUCKING sister.  Remember?  The sister she wasn’t getting along with?! Ugh, thinking about it pisses me off all over again.  She came over ONCE, so I thought, for a game night.  I was focusing so much on trying to get them to rekindle their “sistership” that I didn’t even notice the sister and Avery flirting.  We’ll call the sister Bianca.  So anyways, Bianca comes to the table and not alone…the girl was pregnant.  Yup, they were fucking raw…I hate him.  Anyways. I didn’t give her a chance to explain anything.  As soon as I saw her and confirmed that what I thought was going on, was actually going on, I left.  I ended up getting the story in a long as text later that night but it really wasn’t anything.  The normal, one thing led to another bullshit.  Not worth your time or mine.  Oh and Avery also had nothing good to say for himself.  I mean wtf could he have said anyways?!  He did try to get me to stay in the relationship to make it work but I just couldn’t.  Anyways, I ended up moving in with my friend for a little and eventually got my own spot. Eww I hate telling that story.  But yea, that’s what led to me being celibate for 9 months.  I can honestly say I’m not mad at anyone anymore.  Ova it.  Oh and the kid wasn’t even his, the kid does live with them though.  They’re still together but he’s drunk called me several times saying he regrets everything so trust me, “I don’t want your situation” and that’s on Jordyn.  I’m not gonna lie, I low key miss the D though.  The sex was mind-blowing.  So anyways, fast-forward to a day before the actual party, he FT me and we just talked for a bit.  He said he didn’t want things to be awkward at the cookout.  Which, I mean I guess I get, but whatever.  So we pretty much just talked about how we were, caught up and I’m not gonna lie, it did make things easier when we saw each other the next day.  It pretty much removed the need for small talk.  So anyways, the cookout was lit.  Ya girl was getting juiced.  The girl hosting it got a moon bounce that had a slide that went into the pool. Ahhh it was so fun lol.  I can’t stop talking about it.  She had it catered too.  It’s crazy how much your life can change in such a short amount of time, this girl was literally homeless a year ago.  So anyways, the party was every fucking thing.  Y’all don’t really care about that though lol.  You wanna know wtf happened between Avery and I.  Alright so he was juiced too.  Oh and so was his girl, but honestly, to her own detriment lmao don’t hate me.  So I honestly can’t say what happened to her.  There’s a lot of different stories out there about that.  Some are saying she left with an ex, some are saying she ended up walking home which would’ve been a 2 hour walk and others are saying she just fell asleep in the yard and caught a uber home in the morning.  I truly don’t know nor do I care, cause fuck her honestly.  By the way, when we saw each other in the beginning of the cookout she was hella jolly and “excited” to see me.  So there wasn’t really awkwardness between the two of us.  Well there probably is but we both covered that shit up well. So anyways, Avery and I ended up taking shots together on some chill shit.  Three shots later I had to break the seal so I told him I would be right back. I went to the bathroom and was just fixing myself and really laughing at the fact that I was taking shots with this man who I never thought I would ever see again.  So I was done with the bathroom, I opened the door to leave and Avery was standing right there.  He walked in the bathroom and I walked back in.  lol I know, I really aint shit.  We stared into each others eyes and he lifted me up on the sink and started making out with me.  You guy, there was so much sexual tension between us.  The kiss didn’t last that long because someone knocked on the door and scared tf out of us.  So we waited a bit laughing at what just happened and went back out when it was clear. We somehow ended up playing beer pong together.  We were on the same team.  Honestly, I don’t remember how that happened but whatever.  We used to play it all the time.  So while we were playing, the eye contact between us was so intense guys. When I say I could feel this man staring into my soul whewww.  Thinking about it gives me chills.  It was the perfect combination of eye fucking and passion.  I can tell we both just wanted to finish what we started.  I could tell he was just replaying us.  And I was doing the same.  Just replaying everything that happened between us in the middle of a beer pong game.  So anyways, the whole time we were playing beer pong I was undressing him and just imagining what I would do if to him if we had the chance to fuck just one more time. It was getting late and “Like I Want You” by Giveon came on and gave me all of the feels.  I guess he felt it too because he walked over to me without losing eye contact.  Those 5 seconds of him walking towards me were some of the most intense 5 seconds I’ve ever felt….When he finally got to me he grabbed me by the nape of my neck and started passionately kissing me in front of everyone.  He started playing with my hair like he used to.  I placed my hands on his waist and grabbed him closer. The feeling felt so good.  I missed him so much and didn’t want the moment to end.  He suddenly stopped kissing me, grabbed my hand and led me to his car.  We got in and drove to an empty spot near the woods. Not one word was said in that car ride. This wasn’t our first time in his car. I knew exactly what to do.  I went to the backseat and sat there horny af thinking about what was about to happen while he turned the car on and went to his playlist, you know the playlist I’m talking about…we all have one…if you don’t have a sex playlist, you should get one.  So, he closes the front door and comes to the back with me.  We continued making out.  Oh also, not one actual word was spoken.  We communicated entirely though our bodies.  Fuck it was so beautiful.  So while we’re making out he stopped and did that passionate stare thing again.  That shit drives me crazy.  He positioned himself so that he was slightly on top of me and started kissing me on my neck so softly, I swear I felt my soul leave my body.  I think the combination of the history, sexual tension and alcohol just intensified everything.  While he was kissing my neck I rolled my head back and softly moaned in his ear while holding him by the nape of his neck.  We took it very slow.  I can tell both of us just wanted to be present for this moment.  He stopped and took his shirt off. Everything was exactly the way I remembered it.  My shirt was already off because I just had my bathing suit top on.  He looked down at my bikini top and started kissing the parts of my tits that weren’t covered by the bikini top.  While he was kissing on me I threw my head back and just fell into the moment.  As soon as I threw my head back he licked me from my tits, up my neck and started making out with me again. This time, while we were making out, he untied the back of my bikini.  As my bathing suit fell to my lap fully exposing my tits, he slowly moved down kissing me all over my neck and down to my nipples.  He stared at me and then started sucking on my nipples so passionately. He knows I love that shit.  He was being perfectly rough.  I can’t even begin to explain how good it felt.  At this point I was moaning and grabbing his back. Oh, and while he was on top of me I could feel his dick pulsating through our shorts.  At one point, he grabbed my hand, kissed it and locked my hands in with his.  At this point I’m fully laying in the back of his car with my hands over my head locked in with his while he continued to lick and suck on my nipples.  I lost control; I was moaning and calling his name while pretty much thrusting from under him because I could not stop moving my body, I had no control.  And I loved it.  He eventually let my hands go and started moving down.   I knew exactly what was about to happen next.  Part of me wanted to offer him head first since he was taking such good care of me but fuck it, I was enjoying it too much.  He pulled down my shorts and my bikini bottom.  At this point I’m laying there completely naked staring up at him while he stares back at me, almost analyzing my body, wondering what he’s going to do next.  He kissed me on my forehead and said he missed me.  FUCK! I hate this man.  He knows exactly what to do.  I told him to take his shorts off.  He looked at me and said “you do it.”  So I sat up and made my way to his shorts.  I realized they were swimming trunks when I got closer.  I took them off and immediately placed his dick in my mouth and began sucking it with no hands.  He was on his knees and I was pretty much on all 4s with my ass up giving him head. Does that visual make sense? Anyways, I didn’t want to make him cum for some reason, maybe part of me was still bitter about how everything happened, idk.  Anyways, I stopped, came to my knees and we started making out again.  Our naked bodies pressed against each other completely amplified everything.  He laid me back on my back and spread my legs.  He started thrusting his tongue in and out of my pussy while my legs quivered.  After about 5 minutes in, he stopped, laid on his back and told me to ride his face.  Riding is one of my favorite things to do, I just love putting on a show and it feels amazing.  I rode his face while playing with my tits until I had an orgasm.  He’s been the only man that could ever make me squirt. I squirted in his mouth and he swallowed every bit of it.  I eventually got off of him and he sat up.  I climbed on top of him and we smirked at each other.  He leaned in and started making out with me again, while rubbing all over my body.  My pussy was dripping and his dick was so fucking hard.  While I was sitting on him my pussy was right on top of his dick. We weren’t fucking at that time, just damn near close.  I guess I was so wet he could feel me dripping because he made a comment about it.  We just looked at each other and laughed. He looked down at his dick and I said, do you have a condom.  He looked at me with a confused look and said yea with his eyebrow raised.  Now the reason for this is because we never used a condom, not even when we were first dating.  I honestly didn’t want to use it but I know he has a gf so I was trying to be somewhat respectful.  But after I saw his reaction I looked down at his dick, bit my lip and lifted up just enough for me to put his dick inside my wet pussy and we started fucking.  As soon as I got the dick in his eyes rolled back, his head went back and his mouth dropped.  I love seeing him like that.  Once he got himself together he sat up a little and placed his hands on my ass and started sucking my nipples again while I was riding him.  It was such a slow passionate grind.  I would occasionally lift of his dick midway and slowly glide back down, that shit drove him crazy.  He eventually laid me down and started fucking me with my leg lifted. He came in me, fuck, I wasn’t even worried about it atm, I was lost in the sex.  He put on his shoes and walked outside with nothing but his shoes on and put his hand out suggesting I get out the car too.  It was dark and we were in the middle of nowhere so I said fuck it, we were both outside with nothing but our shoes on.  He pushed me against the car and started making out with me again. We moved to the front of his car and he bent me over and started fucking me from behind while kissing me on my neck. I know I was loud yall.  Damn!  After about 10 minutes of him fucking me like it was nobodies business, I had another orgasm and I moaned so fucking loud.  My entire body was weak.  He turned me around and laid me on my back on the front of his car and kissed me up to my forehead and said I never stopped loving you.  I just looked him in his eyes to take in the moment and we went back in the backseat of his car and just talked and reminisced for the rest of the night.  At about 7am he drove me home and I just laid in my bed replaying the whole night over and over again.  I suddenly heard my name being called repeatedly…It was Avery, yelling my name in excitement because we won the beer pong game.  He asked me if I was okay because it seemed like I zoned out for a little.  I told him yup, I just had a crazy day dream.  He asked me if I was ready to go home and said he would drop me off.  I said yes.  While we walked to the car he asked me what I was daydreaming about, I told him not to worry about it.  In the car he asked me if I wanted to talk about our bathroom kiss.  I told him I didn’t want to talk about it atm, I just wanted to enjoy the daydream I just had and not ruin it with any dumb shit that might come out of that conversation.  He was okay with postponing it, he dropped me off and took my ass to sleep.

[happyobservationdazed]

Black Lives Matter is not solely an American problem. It is a global problem.

Just because America is the most vocal and visible, does not mean that black lives are not being killed every day by police in other countries. They are.

If you stand by Black Lives Matter, then realise that it is not contained to America. Don’t just be angry for the black lives lost there, be angry about the black lives lost around the world.

Stand up not just for George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Tamir Rice, David McAtee or the countless other black lives lost to police brutality in America. Stand up for the black lives lost in your countries too.

Black lives should have always, and will always matter. Not just in America, but around the world.

[madmadmilk]

BLACK LIVES MATTER. YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW. @ noturjacky on IG

[igotthejuice]

Part 2 of My Bumble Date from Hell

Okay, I’m back! So anyways, I ran behind him out of fear he was going to put his hands on her but don’t worry, he’s not a complete idiot, he didn’t touch her.  He did get real close to her and started yelling at her.  By the time I got over there she was walking away.  I finally told him we need to go.  He insisted he was fine and to not let that moment ruin our date…too fucking late but you know what, for whatever dumb ass reason I said okay LI still regret that decision and it got so much worse.  So, now that everyone’s staring at us, we go back to our picnic area and he continues to drink and record me *eye roll*.  Oh he brought speakers too, I’m not gonna lie, his music choice was a vibe. But he ruined that shit too low key. He acted like it was his playlist but it was actually a Brent Faiyaz Spotify playlist…which, I mean I’m not judging…but I’m judging, but only because he acted like that was his beautiful creation.  Why lie about that?  Anyways, it happened guys, the moment I was most afraid of, he turned to me and said, “oh shit, you know Blaine?!  She told me to tell you hi!”  I was so fucking pissed.  Blaine was one of those girls I knew but would never tell my business to.  She seems to always know peoples business.  I kid you not, within 30 seconds of him saying that, I got a DM from her saying “Yo you know he has a whole ass kid on the way right?”  My. Stomach. Turned.  I dropped my phone and just stared at him.  His drunk ass didn’t even notice.  So, once I gathered myself I told Blaine I had no fucking idea but good looks.  I may not fuck with Blaine but in that moment I did, she responded with sending me the girls IG profile, clutch.  Luckily it wasn’t private.  My heart was racing, we all know that feeling, scrolling hella carefully to make sure you don’t accidentally like anything, meanwhile he’s just living his best live with not a clue of what’s going on.  Just goofy.  So I’m scrolling and it didn’t look like they were in a relationship but he was definitely the dad.  The picture of them at the baby shower, yea y’all she’s been pregnant for a while, had a caption that said “Our situation may not be ideal but I’ll always respect you as the father of my son.”  So that’s why I figured they probably aren’t dating but still! Call me crazy but if you have a kid or one on the way that’s definitely worth mentioning.  So anyways, I’m scrolling and scrolling on her page and guess who tf I see.  The girl taking the pictures of us.  Yup, she was at the baby shower, I didn’t know her relation to them but she was for sure there.  This idiot knew her all along.  So now I’m pissed because I’m clearly caught up in some mess but also, this girl was really taking pics of me and my dumb ass was too naïve to realize, sticking up for her and everything.  Ughhh!! So when I finally got over the initial shock, I was like “Yo”, and I showed him the phone.  Y’all I can’t make this shit up, this man instantly burst into tears.  Sir.  Fuck is you cryin for?  Because you were exposed? Ewww.  I rolled my eyes and started packing my shit.  He started crying even more and, I mean do have a heart y’all.  I felt bad just leaving him there crying.  Sometimes I wish I was ruthless.  So here I was, consoling a liar in the middle of a pandemic, and he starts coming up with all of these reasons for why he didn’t tell me. All BS tbh.  Oh and that girl is the future kids moms best friend AKA the God Mother.  She happened to see us and was investigating, as any good friend would.  Kudos to her frfr.  So once he calmed down I told him we should leave and he said he wanted to show me something to try and make up for everything.  I just wanted this “date” to be over but he clearly was hurting and I knew I would never talk to him ever again so I said fine.  He suggested we go to the water to see the sunset. Ehhh that part was actually really cute. So anyways we were chillen by the water and it was beautiful, I was actually considering hearing him out when he sobered up BUT…this dumb ass thought it would be funny to rough house near the water, he thought tickling me would be cute…I hate being tickled.  It’s the worst feeling because I’m telling the person to stop but I’m laughing so it’s misleading lol.  I should start putting a “No tickling” disclaimer in my bios. Anyways, after trying to escape the “tickle monster” I kept backing up, tripped on a rock and fell in the Nasty! Ass! Water!  I got out the water drenched and just fucking lost it! Everything I had bottled up just exploded and I just went off on him the way Tyra Banks went off on that one girl we were all supposedly rooting for back in the day.  Anyways, I guess he didn’t like what I had to say because he started going off on me.  I don’t really remember what he was saying because he was so damn drunk and barely making any sense but I do remember him saying “Nobodies fucking with your dusty ass anyways.”  Oooop. Bruh that shit honestly had me weak though…but only because I know I’m not dusty and that’s on periodt.  But also, I love a good roast session.  So anyways, I’m walking back to go get my skates so I can get tf and they weren’t there…yup, my fucking skates were gone. I mean why not?  It was a horrible date already, lets top it off with my skates being stolen, nbd.  Anyways, I hopped my nasty soaked ass in an uber and ubered my ass home.  As you know by now from my other blogs, ya girl is a whole ass investigator outchea.  As soon as I got comfortable I went back on his future kids moms IG and just started digging lol.  Lucky for me she’s one of those girls that posts everything so it was quite entertaining. I didn’t really find anything juicy out though, just that the bike he came with was hers, apparently he didn’t have a car for a while so she was kind enough to let him use her bike since she couldn’t use it right now, maybe it was her brothers, idk but regardless, the FUCKING nerve of him.  Long story short, I got the juice and I don’t have time for shit like that and I think I answered my own question, no second chance for him.  He’s actually texting me now saying he was so embarrassed and out of character.  Aht aht, sucks to suck.  Lmao what a damn mess?  Well anyways, I’m about to be out.  Oh guess what?! Remember the ex I mentioned a few blogs ago?  The one that led to my 9 months of celibacy?  I think it’s time I fill you guys in on that story.  I’m going to a cookout this weekend and him and his new gf will be there.  I hate having mutual friends with ex’s.  The last time we spoke he drunk called me and told me he regrets everything and that he was sorry and he wanted to meet up…his girl was in the other room.

[igotthejuice]

Part 1 of My Bumble Date from Hell

Hey friends!  I Hope you’re still surviving COVID.  Oh and if you’re class of 2020 congrats to you!  I know that shits hard.  I’m doing good, still WFH or whateva, I just got off a call.  My state is slowly reopening but nothings open, if that makes any sense.  I’m sitting here weak over this date I’m about to tell y’all about.  In hindsight that shits actually funny af.  Oh, also I might get a pet.  I just don’t know what I would even want atm.  Just a thought I’ve been having lately.   Side note y’all, I had a dream Plies was my new neighbor lmao.  Okay, so anyways shall we talk about this date from hell? You already know from my last blog that I met him from bumble.  I think I like bumble the most.  There’s something about being in control of who I want to communicate with that sits well with me.  Plus, lets be real, just because you match with someone doesn’t always mean you care to talk to them. So anyways, I messaged him and we exchanged numbers and FT’d almost instantly.  If you can’t tell by now I love FT.  I’m definitely that person that will FT you and not even be looking at the FT but enjoying your presence lol.  Plus, if we’re getting to know each other I like to jump right in.  Okay, what should we call this guy? Idk, we’ll give him a basic name like Chris since he turned out to be pretty fucking basic, sorry if your name is Chris…So we were on FT for about an hour…that should’ve been my first sign.  If it’s our first time talking we should be on FT for at least 3 hours just getting to know each other.  There’s so much to talk about.  But he really just didn’t seem to care.  Looking back on it, I led the entire conversation.  I just saw that as a sign that he was a good listener.  So I was pretty surprised when he said he wanted to hang out. I also was a little thrown off since everything is closed rn but he said he wanted to just take a walk and have a picnic on the water.  Now I thought that was hella cute so I was with the shits.  Fast forward to the date.  It was on a Wednesday.  Weird day, I know, but 1) we’re both wfh 2) no one has shit to do 3) who tf knows what day it is anyways?  Exactly. So I live really close to where we were going to picnic, so he drove to my house and he biked to the picnic spot while I roller-skated.  It was actually really cute.  He even had a picnic basket that he put on the back of his bike.  So anyways, everything pretty much went “right” up until a certain point.  Lets just fast forward to where shit got weird.  

Mkay so it all started when I noticed he was drinking a lot…like A LOT.  And if you can’t tell by now I really don’t like to judge, it’s just not my thing. So while I noticed he was drinking a lot, he wasn’t acting dumb or anything so I didn’t say shit, go awf fam. Welp friends, I should’ve said something because hit the fan real quick.  It started with him talking a lot and telling me weird shit about people I didn’t know.  Normally that wouldn’t phase me but keep in mind, this man was hella shy on FT.  My dumb ass still didn’t say anything.  Side note:  this is just another lesson.  It’s okay to be that “chill” person, but don’t be so chill that you let people just self-sabotage right before your eyes, you’ll regret it.  So anyways, he started putting me all over his IG which made me feel uncomfortable because I like to hoe in peace and plus, we live in the same area and y’all already know how that shit goes.  There’s no way we don’t have mutual friends.  So anyways, after about an hour of him throwing back shots of henny (barf) and recording more and more on his IG he swore some girl was recording us on her phone.  Now was the camera facing our way?  Yes, but she was far away and it was a beautiful day.  She could’ve been recording anything so I kept telling him not to worry about it.  But y’all he would not let that shit go.  He kept saying “naw trust me, I know exactly wtf it is.”  Now at this point we should’ve left…fuck it, I should’ve left. But I just didn’t.  So he starts yelling at the girl, ugh jus thinking about it makes me feel so embarrassed and it makes me wonder why I STILL hadn’t left. So anyways, she was with the shits, like sis had time that day.  So she’s screaming back at him and at this point they’re going back and forth.  He’s calling her a nosey “that” and a hatin’ ass “this” and she’s coming right back it him just as strong.  So at this point I’m just watching like everyone else.  Oh and at one point she said I had disgusting taste in men.  I’m thinking, now wait a minute, I don’t even know this man.  So anyways, she must have said something that triggered him because he got up so got damn quick y’all.  Sorry, I have to stop here, I’m still working lol.  I just wanted to start telling this story since I promised it a few days ago.  More tomorrow!

[igotthejuice]

Part 3 of my Wild Neighbor

Alright guys, I’m back so pretty much, Olie said this whole thing started when she saw Leigh leaving our apartment building and acting weird.  She said she was confused because she didn’t know who tf she was visiting and why. She said her sister finally broke and told her she was visiting my neighbor because she had an appointment with her.  She automatically assumed it was a therapy session so she left it alone.  Well a few weeks after that, she saw her sister in person and noticed something different about her but she said she didn’t say anything because she was just happy to see her in person and didn’t think much of it. Later that night she couldn’t stop thinking about how something was off with her sister so she said she called her and told her she looked so different and ask her if she’d done anything.  Her sister swore her to secrecy and finally told her.  She had gotten a boob job.  Now Olie didn’t care about that, because she wanted one too, plus it was barely noticeable.  So they were talking about it and Olie kept asking her where she got them done and how tf she was able to afford it.  She said at first her sister kept playing it off but that only made Olie more suspicious...Leigh eventually caved in and explained.  So, you remember how Olie saw Leigh coming out of our apartment building that one day?  Well, that was the day she got them done and she was leaving my neighbors apartment because she literally got them done IN my neighbors apartment!…tf?!?!  I was shook y’all.  Apparently she had done over 200 illegal cosmetic procedures in her apartment...she’s been there for a year and a half. How tf could all this happen right under my nose?  Was I that oblivious?  I mean I am just in my own little vibe most of the time but damn Alyn.  I’ve been in this womans home and never noticed a thing. But honestly it makes sense, she has a two bedroom (lives by herself) and apparently did them in the “guest room”  which, was closed every time I went there.  So anyways, it all made sense and I understood why Olie said something to the lease office.  I was honestly shook for the rest of the night…not because I was scared of my neighbor but I just swore I knew her and shit like that creeps me out.  Like how was she able to keep such a big secret?  I started wondering if she was even a therapist and if the stuff I was telling her was truly safe…ugh I’m still shook honestly.  And on top of that I have to find a new therapist but whatever. She’s in custody right now, I have no idea how it’s going to end because she has to have a trial and they’re trying to get in touch with all the people she illegally worked on.  Oh and on top of all that, she’s not new to this shit.  She’s been doing this for years now and just kept moving around every few years.  Shits just crazy bruh, I honestly want to move but I have a dope ass view and I love my apartment lol, I just feel weird here though. I wonder if they’re going to tell the next person that lives there what happened?  Who knows.  They didn’t waste any time advertising the unit though, it was a crime scene for about a week but now that shit is back up on the website available for rent.  Gross.

    Sorry y’all that shit was a little crazy.  On a positive note, I got a new job!!! Yup, even in the middle of this quarantine ya girl was still out here putting in work.  It’s with the same company but a completely different sector.  I’m so hype guys.  I might get to move to a different state or maybe even a different country.  Which, I mean shit, after all of this shit I just went through, I’m all in.  All of the logistics are put on hold right now until we have a better control on COVID, but we’re still discussing things! I’ll keep you guys posted as I find info on that.  Anyways, guys, idk what to do.  I met this guy on Bumble and we went on literally the worst fucking date ever but he’s been reaching out to me every day he wants to “try again”.  Ugh idk.  I’m about to go on a run but I’ll explain what happened on the first date when I get back, lets just say it ended with my clothes soaked AND me having to catch an uber home which wasn’t how I got there.

[igotthejuice]

Part 2 of my Wild Neighbor

Sorry guys I’m back.  Okay, lets just get back in to it.  So at this point while she’s telling me she fucked up, I’m thinking, oh this bitch is shiesty, she ran her mouth and told one of my dudes that they aren’t the only one.  I was pissed but I didn’t want to scare her out of telling me the whole story so I kept my composure but babyyy it was a struggle.  So I was like omg what happened girl, I promise I won’t be mad…ha. Well she quickly said, I accidentally told on your neighbor and they want to call you in for questioning.  Y’all I didn’t know whether to be happy my hoe game was still in tact or to be mad she got me involved in some damn mess. So I was like woah sis…run that back please.  She basically explained to me that she told the leasing office that I mentioned that my neighbor was consistently having people in her building.  Of course I said, 1) why tf did you have to tell them, like what was the fucking point and why was it necessary and 2) Why did you have to bring me in it.  If she really felt like she just had to tell them she could’ve left me out of it.  But whatever, what was I going to do at that point? She said she was just telling me to give me a heads up before they called me.  I asked her if it was really that deep.  I was confused as to why they needed to interview me because of this. I understand that we’re supposed to be social distancing but why couldn’t they just tell her to stop having people over, it’s really not that serious.  Olie told me that it was much deeper than that but she couldn’t say anything because it’s an open investigation and blah blah blah…I’m not gonna lie, I was mad because I’m like now you want to keep secrets? Mkay sis.

Anyways, I got off the phone with her and the leasing office called me shortly after and we set up an appointment to meet.  They didn’t say much, just that I need to come in.  So fast forward to when I met with them.  There were three people in the conference room, two people that worked in my building and a police officer.  The set up was kind of weird because they were trying to maintain social distancing.  They started asking me if I saw the people coming in and out of my neighbors apartment. I mentioned that I had seen a few people but never paid any attention to them.  They also asked me if I heard any odd noises like screams coming from her apartment during the day, which I hadn’t but now I was getting a little nervous…because screams?! Tf???  So I asked them if my neighbor was okay.  They ignored me and asked if I had ever been in her home.  I told them yes but initially I didn’t want to tell them why because someone was taking notes and it just made me feel uncomfortable.  But they made me feel like I would be causing more problems for myself if I didn’t come out and tell them so I said fuck it and just told them I see her occasionally for therapy sessions.  They didn’t really seem to care about that. BUT they did suggest I no longer see her anymore or go anywhere near her.  I asked them if they could tell me why and they said they couldn’t go in to detail but that she is possibly involved in some illegal activity.  I asked them if I should be concerned for my safety and they said no but wouldn’t tell me shit.  So anyways we finished up and I started to leave the room and on my way out they said they had one more question for me.  They asked me if I knew anything about, hmmm lets call her Leigh, I asked them if they were talking about Olies younger sister.  They confirmed that’s the Leigh they were talking about.  I told them I know her but I never saw her leaving my neighbors apartment.  They thanked me for my time and sent me on my way. So I was walking back to my apartment confused and scared.  Scared to bump in to my neighbor and just confused about everything.  So I called Olie and told her I met with them.  After about 30 minutes of begging her to tell me what happened and why they asked about Leigh she FINALLY told me what happened.  Sorry y’all I’m going to stop here.  I promise I’ll tell you how this one ends tomorrow.  Oh, and do you think Olie was wrong for involving me? I’m conflicted. 

[igotthejuice]

Part 1 of my wild neighbor

Damn I’m so glad that shits behind me.  Remember the drama I mentioned last time about my neighbor?  It’s finally done…I hope.  I know I didn’t go in to too much detail last time but don’t worry, I’m about to deliver you awl the tea.  It’s actually a good thing I didn’t say too much last time though because it’s a lot deeper than I thought.  I hope you guys are doing great btw.  Alright, go grab some popcorn and get comfortable…I’ll wait…you good? Alright lets get it. SO!  I’ll start with background information and answering some questions you might have. So first of all, why is my neighbor also my therapist?  Well, she became my therapist after I moved in the building.  I got to know her as a neighbor and I liked her.  She’s super relatable and checks a lot of the boxes I wanted in a therapist like being flexible (I’ve literally called her at 3am to chat and she’s been completely fine with it.  Unorthodox? Perhaps, but I liked it), she’s convenient, relatable, non judgmental and most importantly I can trust her.  She’s my first therapist actually.  It was something I always talked about but never took serious. Talking to her was just so easy and I loved the way I felt after talking to her so about 3 months ago she officially became my therapist and it was the best decision I made.  Oh, and the other neighbor I mentioned, the one that snitched lives 3 floors below.  I met her at one of those little community events our apartment building throws for residents.  We ended up chatting and hit it off.  We hang out occasionally and it’s always a good time.  She’s probably my closest friend in the building….I’m still a little irritated with her after all of this though, I still don’t really get why I had to be involved.  So anyways, now that you have some background let me get into the deeds.  Since quarantine started I’ve obviously been home during the day which I never used to be, I used to be gone from 6am – 4pm. That’s 10 hours a day for any damn thing to happen and me to never know.  Low key my apartment building could turn into a whole ass strip club during the day and I literally wouldn’t have known.  So it wasn’t a shock to me when my next door neighbor consistently had people coming in and out of her apartment.  She’s a therapist and I meet her in her apartment so whose to say other people don’t meet her there too.  I mean I started seeing her via FT because of social distancing, but maybe people needed to see her in person...practicing good mental health, whatever that looks like for you, is still important during this pandemic, perhaps even more important.  So anyways, I really didn’t pay it any mind.  Well, about a month in to quarantine I was on FT with my neighbor friend, hmmm lets call her Olie.  So Olie and I were having a little virtual happy hour making tiktoks and just talking shit like we always do.  Speaking of which, I’m not stressing myself out trying to learn the Savage remix dance, y’all can keep it.  We started talking about quarantining and how it’s getting difficult and I said “shit not for my neighbor, she’s consistently had someone in her apartment on a daily basis.” Now, lets take a second and pause….this could be time for a good lesson for someone.  Was it my place to say that?  No probably not, but it happened so quickly and innocently.  Now, you’re probably thinking, Alyn wtf?! Have you ever heard of thinking before you speak?  Yes guys, I know, BUT tbh, I hate that saying.  If I think before I speak I’m filtering myself to the world and I feel like as long as I’m not hurting anyone I should just be able to present myself in my truest form, so rarely do I ever think before I speak.  Anyways, when I made that comment, Olie honestly didn’t say much so I thought it was over.  She literally just responded on some, damn that’s crazy, shit.  So you know, conversation over in my mind. Moving tf on.  Welp, obviously that’s not how it went.  So fast forward to about two weeks ago I get a FT call from Olie.  Her energy seemed off from the jump. She called me but it seemed like I was the one keeping the conversation going so eventually I asked her if everything was okay and she said she’s glad I asked…now, I’m not gonna lie.  I was a little irritated because girl…why did I have to be the one to ask?  Why couldn’t she just say she needed to talk to me about something, you know what I mean? So anyways, she proceeds to tell me that she did something she shouldn’t have and she started apologizing repetitively…Damn, this is such a long story and I’m getting tired lol.  Plus it’s Taco Tuesday and ya girl is hungry.  Don’t be mad but, I’m going to split it up.  I tell you guys more tomorrow!  

[aintnobodytrillerthanme]

Gave you all I had but it wasn't enough

[frankocean]

[igotthejuice]

I’m just gonna get right to it.  Lol this is low key awkward because I was doing something I had no business doing smh.  So it all started when I decided I needed to be dicked down.  I know I know, it’s physically impossible to social distance and have sex at the same time, but don’t judge.  It’s been a minute.  Like a hot minute.  I was on a nice little sex break for the past 9 months and it was supposed to end on March 13th.  Yea lol I had that shit marked in my calendar and I had the D already lined up lol. You’re probably wondering what led to the break.  Basically a bad breakup, long story short, ya girl got fucked over.  I don’t even want to go down that horrid road right now. It’s still a little fresh so yea. But I promise I’ll tell you guys that story one day, this one isn’t about him.  So anyways, I was at a breaking point and I needed the D.  So I ended up calling the one I felt most comfortable with since it has been a while and that happened to be OG.  After several hours of back and forth sexting he came over.  This was my first time sexting and then having the person I was sexting come over later that day.  It was actually kind of dope.  It was like virtual foreplay.  You should try it once quarantine is over.  I can definitely see myself doing it again lol.  So anyways, I hadn’t seen him in a brick so as you can imagine as soon as he walked in it was a fucking wrap.  I was definitely scheming though.  I hit him with some slick shit lol I said, “I’ll be in the shower when you get here but the doors unlocked so just let yourself in”.  lol ya girl came out the shower straight DRIPPIN’ hunny.  He was waiting in my room.  Y’all he pushed me on that bed so got damn quick. Girl, I just have to pause, thinking about it still makes me wet…TO THIS DAY! Lol no but seriously it still has me in my feels.  Don’t you love that shit though?  Like when something felt so good and because of the power of recollection you’re able to just relive it as many time as you want?  It’s like you’re rewinding your favorite part of a movie.  I always wondered if the other person is doing the same thing.  But anyways, the sex was good, after he threw me on the bed he started kissing me all over my neck softly and sensually.  While he was kissing me on my neck he started rubbing on my nipples.  I realized he still had his clothes on so I started thinking, boy take your fucking clothes off.  I swear he heard me because as soon as I thought that he straddled me and with constant eye contact he took his shirt off.  He started sucking on my nipples for a surprisingly long time and that’s my favorite so I was fucking melting.  And he did it perfectly, a little rough but not too rough to the point where it hurts.  After about 20 minutes of him sucking on my nipples to perfection, they were beautifully hard and I was feeling good.  I felt like I should return the favor so without hesitation I took charge and pushed him on the bed.  Now I was straddling him.  I love how passionate it is when we kiss so I laid on top of him and started making out with him.  He grabbed both of my hands with each of his and clasped them together over his head. Part of the reason I love fucking him is because the sex is always so passionate.  So after making out, I made my way down, took his pants and boxers off and started giving him head.  I personally love giving head.  I love the look on a mans face while I’m giving him head, the lack of control they have over their body when I’m giving them head.  I honestly do it for myself, it turns me on, they just happen to benefit off of it lol.  So after about 15 minutes of him moaning, grabbing my hair and squirming he came and no, not in my mouth.  Now let me explain, I’ve actually never swallowed and I told myself when I do swallow it’ll be with someone whose my boyfriend.  Idk, it makes sense to me lol.  So anyways, after he finished, he kissed me, and went to go get condoms.  He came back with two so I was like oh we’re doing rounds tonight? Okay okay!  So he put the condom on and the shit broke.  It fucking broke.  It’s all good though, he just put the other one on and we started with me on top, I started riding him slowly to the beat of “Superstar” by Usher, the playlist was fire af.  While I was on top we were either gazing into each others or making out, fuck it was just so damn passionate.  Oh and his hands were sitting on my hips and he was following the movement I was making, almost as if he was helping me.  He said he was about to cum and then he quickly switched positions, I think he was trying to make it last, but anyways, he started moving towards the edge of the bed and had moved his hands up to my waste and took complete control of the situation, he was bouncing me up and down on his dick.  Y’all I went into full porn star mode had my head thrown back and everything.  It felt so good.  After doing that for about 5 minutes I just completely let go and we came together, it was EVERYTHING.  We just laid there and laughed at how good that shit was.  Now you see why I called him lol.

So anyways, back to how I found out about his OnlyFans.  After the sex he asked to use my laptop because his laptop kept shutting off on him every 5 minutes *the ghetto* and he needed to check in with work because he was WFH.  After he did whatever he needed to do on my laptop he jumped in the shower.  While he was in the shower I went on my laptop to check my email, I’m waiting for like 10 packages lol I might actually have a problem. Y’all probably know where this is going next.  Yup, homeboy didn’t log out of his email account.  Now, before you go in on him, I was honestly flattered that he felt comfortable enough to leave his account logged in.  Shit idk, I might be reaching but whatever it sounds good to me.  Plus, we aren’t dating so he really doesn’t have any reason to hide stuff from me.  So anyways, I proceeded to log out of his email in the name of privacy…come on y’all I’m better than that.  BUT I’ll be honest, before I logged out I may have quickly glanced at the inbox page and that’s where I saw Only Fans.  I swear I didn’t click on the email.  It actually made my scary ass log out with the quickness because it caught me off guard. But at this point, I was intrigued to say the least.  As you can imagine, I was anxious for him to leave so I could do some investigating. Did he have an OnlyFans account, just to look at people or was he the one people were looking at?  I just needed to know.  Now you’re probably thinking to yourself “Alyn, sis, friend, you JUST prided yourself in not being nosey.  But this is different so chill.  So I did my research and confirmed that I can be anonymous on OnlyFans and I got to business. Like most of us, I’m a professional stalker at this point and I was able to find him with the quickness and yup I subscribed!!!! At that moment I felt like I reached a new low, I paid money to creep on my friend lol.  Oh well, it was worth it because lets just say I’m definitely a fan, baby I was in awe. I couldn’t believe my shy fuck buddy was really outchea.  I love it though and I’m all the way here for it.  But see here’s the issue with snooping, I had to try and come up with a clever way to tell him I knew.

So later on that night we were on FT and I casually brought it up.  I was like “Bruh, I think I want an OnlyFans account, it seems fun.”  He laughed and was like “Oh this quarantine shit got you bored, bored.  Don’t do that shit, you’ll regret it.” I asked him if he would ever do it this man instantly said “FUCK NO!”  lmao but he made it clear he wanted to change the subject and I didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable so I realized that this wasn’t the time and I just dropped it…it’s been two weeks since then.  Ugh am I horrible for this? I still go to his page and I feel like I’m invading his privacy.  It’s just so interesting to me though because he seems like a completely different person from the guy I know.  It’s just making me question if I even know him low key.  I’ve also caught him in so many stupid lies because of this.  I wish I was more direct so I could just get the courage to tell him I know and come clean about subscribing to him, but I’m not there yet.  Idk, I’ll keep y’all posted though…accepting suggestions though lol

Whew chile, that was a lot.  I’m exhausted lol.  I’m about to carry my ass to bed and binge some Cut videos until I crash.  Plus, I have to get up early tomorrow for a meeting with my leasing office regarding an open investigation that I’m not looking forward to…especially since I may be the reason that all this shit even happened in the first place.  I’ll fill you guys in later and let you know how the meeting went but basically I saw my neighbor doing some shit I apparently wasn’t supposed to see and I may have mentioned it to another neighbor (ooops) who mentioned it to the leasing office.  But now my neighbor is potentially getting evicted and maybe even going to jail.  I know…I fucked up.  I wish I kept my mouth shut.  Whole time, I’m typically so good with keeping secrets, this one just slipped. Y’all are probably like well wtf happened.  I’m so tired though and it’s a long ass story so I’m not going to get in to it right now but don’t worry, I’ll fill you in soon.  I just wish I never saw that crazy shit to begin with.  Oh yea, I almost forgot to mention, the neighbor I ran my mouth about happens to be my therapist.

[igotthejuice]

It’s time

Alright guys.  I think it’s time.  I’ve held out long enough and if you’re reading this, you’re right on time. I’m ready to let you into my life. That is…with your consent of course. LOL you might think asking for you consent is a little overboard but low key it’s not.  My life can get pretty uncensored fr fr.  But don’t worry; I always keep it cute (when possible ha). No but seriously, I don’t really have a choice but to be as tasteful as possible.  See the thing is, ya girl has a job…like a job job with a cute little check and I want to keep it, but I also like to have a good time.  Thank God for balance.  I’ve pretty much mastered that shit.

           It’s been so hard to have fun these days though thanks to Ms. Rona…can’t stand her ass.  I hope y’all are being safe though because shits real.  Are you going out as soon as outside opens back up or are you one of those beautiful individuals that are going to gracefully let us impatient folk enjoy the first two weeks?  I’m not even gonna hold you, the second they say the gyms are open I’m outchea. You might be saying “but Alyn the gyms are so dirty!” oh yea, hi, my name is Alyn nice to meet you.  But yes guys, I know the gyms are breeding grounds for germs and sis I want you to do whatever makes you feel comfortable, but what I’m telling you is, this girl will be at the gym as soon as they deem it safe….like on some  waiting outside type shit.  No but seriously, I’m still trying to be summer ready, I worked too hard.  Plus, my roster has become quite immaculate. Idk if y’all are just bored, but ever since quarantine, my line has been hot.  I’m enjoying it though, I might keep some of them around once this is over. They’ll have to earn it though, this pussy aint free *flips hair*…Fam, has someone ever just started talking to you out of nowhere and you’re not interested so you just keep saying “mmmm, mhmmm, yea, damn…in hopes that they get it but they don’t? That just happened to me. Anyways, back to my roster.  Y’all wanna know who I got on here?  Oh wait, speaking of roster, have you been watching The Last Dance?? It’s so good, I honestly wasn’t expecting it to be that good but it’s given me so much insight, it’s also so inspirational.  Definitely makes me want to give 100%  in everything I do, I mean if you aren’t giving 100% what’s the point? Exactly, there isn’t one.  I’m watching drum line y’all and it just started but I can’t wait until the end when shit gets real.  Oh and that scene when Nick Cannon and Zoey Saldana are making out in the party, my fast ass used to love that scene ha.  Sorry, I keep getting distracted lol.

           Okay back to my roster.  So I’m trying to figure out how I can explain them to y’all without giving too much away.  So I’ve got 2 definites and 3 possibilities (lol I love spades references…oh and you can come play me in spades and get that ass beat too).   So lets just talk about the two definites first.  Alright so for person number one we’ll just call him Gram because he slid in my DMs on IG.  So, where do I start, alright Gram is dope and obviously my favorite which is why I started with him.  Basically he saw me in a tbt post one of my friends tagged me in and followed me.  I know it was because of that because as soon as the request came in ya girl checked the mutual friends and my friend was the only mutual friend between us.  His page was open so I creeped and he was cute or whateva so, I accepted it on some casual shit.  Not to be cocky but the kid gets follow requests like it’s nobodies business *flips hair again*.  So about an hour after I accepted the request (oh and I didn’t follow back right away. I mean the page was open so what’s the rush) I got the DM.  I saw it right away but obviously I let that shit marinate.  Real hot girl shit.  I could see the preview though.  Now here’s where he got me…the message said “Oh so you aint gonna follow me back?” Lmao at first I was like the nerve of you.  But the more I let that shit marinate the more I liked it.  I found it sexy and it was different than the average “Hey beautiful.” Or “Wassup ma?” *BARF* Fellas, if there’s anything you take away from this please let it be to stop calling girls “Ma” it’s not cute, it’s actually repulsive.  Alright so yea, back to Gramie, lol I tried to be cute but realized I gave him a grandma nickname. I’m leaving it there though. Does anyone even call their grandma “Gramie”.  Okay so basically we talked and I was feeling the vibe.  It gave me old school Miguel vibes.  He just made me feel good.  I know this is corny but it seems like all of my problems go away we I talk to him, nothing else really matters.  He’s also genuinely interested in me and my day.  I’ll start to tell him a story and stop because I don’t think he’ll find it interesting and he insists on hearing about it.  Thinking about him makes me heart smile lol.  Oh and he’s super talented.  So yea anyways, back to the day he slid in my DMs, as you can imagine shit escalated and eventually we ended up on FT later that night/early morning around 1am and talked for about 6 hours, yea girl we didn’t get off the phone until 7am.  Thinking about the conversation just gives me butterflies.  So where’s the flaw? You know it’s there.  Welp, he’s 5 years older than me.  That’s not the issue, the issue is…he works at BK…now some of y’all probably think I’m shallow right about now and just about done with me. But hear me out, there’s certain milestones I’ve set for my life and I expect my partner to be meeting those same milestones or at least coming damn near close like come on fam give me something to work with.  Not to make this a money thing…well shit I’m not even gonna hold you, it is a money thing but remember that job I mentioned earlier?  Yea well I’m fortunate enough to pull in over 150K/year from it and that’s just one of my incomes, like I really grind because I want to maintain a certain lifestyle.  Oh yea, Idk if I mentioned this but I’m 25 just for perspective.  Maybe I would feel different if he had a second job, idk.  Ugh I swear I feel weird saying this but it’s how I feel so fuck it.  But yea y’all it’s really a dilemma because I have a connection with him like I’ve never had with anyone before.  Also, since we met during quarantine I don’t know how the D is or how things would be in person so for now I’m just gonna put that shit on ice and enjoy it.  I mean I did get a dick pick and it was nice but we all know that doesn’t mean anything.  Ugh but anyways, I didn’t expect to spend so much time on Gram AKA Gramie AKA is the dick bomb or naw AKA I need to know AKA BK headass lol jk. Alright so I’m not going to tell you guys about the 3 possibilities I’m just going to tell you about definite number 2 and keep it pushin because possibilities are irrelevant until they prove their worth.

           Alright so person number two hmmm lets call him OG because I’ve known him for a while.  So this is one of those relationships where we stay in touch just enough to stay in tough if that makes sense lol.  Y’all know what I mean.  But since quarantine he’s been reaching out a lot more and I’m with the shits but I’m scared to get too close to him on that level though because of past failed relationships so I naturally try and stay away when things feel like they’re getting real.  I know, that sentence screams trauma but whatever it’s how I feel, I’ll always be raw with y’all.  So yea I feel like we all have that person in our lives…the friend we were real cool with but just causally flirted with and never talked about our feelings towards each other.  I’ve known him since middle school, crazy right.  But yea, since we’ve been talking more frequently I’m just really starting to see him in a different light.  Like actually envisioning us together.  The best part of this one is that we’re frfr friends like that’s the homie.  He knows me so well, like on a real intimate level and I love that…oh yea and the sex is bomb.  But again y’all are probably wondering what the flaw is. Wellllll this one’s kind of crazy.  Idek where to start lol.  Alright fuck it I’m just gonna say it…he has an only fans account and not because he needs the money, he just knows he looks good and saw a business opportunity. Ha, why does part of me find that attractive?  Lol but yea here’s the thing, he doesn’t know I know.  So, how did I find out?  Well here’s where shit gets real weird and if I tell him not only that I know about his only fans, but HOW I know, it could potentially end our friendship.