MALM

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

Intro post...?

What's up guys...?

I'm the OFFICAL ikea malm bed frame...?

General rules and stuff...?

1. Don't be weird in the asks, jokes about sex and stuff are fine as long as they aren't too suggestive, but just keep in mind that I AM a minor

2. Any anons I don't like will be shoved under the bed, never to be seen again

3. Despite my pfp and banner, there is no mattress on the bed. Not rlly a rule but just smth to note

4. I do not work for ikea, nor have I ever.

5. no brainrot, please?

Anons NOT under the bed:

Anons under the bed:

Mod name: Rococo or Gabriel idm which

Main: @rococo-girlie

Minor

Pronouns: Any/all

Mod pronouns: he/she (ik it doesn't say that on my main but I'm highkey just too lazy to update it)

Use the 🤍 emoji when asking the mod a question

Use the 💤 emoji when asking Malm about the mod

Ask tag: the frame has spoken...?

Yap tag: malm has spoken

Mod tag: the carpenter has spoken

[grapefruit-offical]

Grapefruits are bitter because we dont want to be eaten

so please dont do it like i know you humans love eating food that's litteral poison for other animals

but please at least dont eat the ones that are sentient

[squirrel--boy]

It's confusing bc grapes are sweet and tasty. This is hikey your fault

[grapefruit-offical]

I DDIDNT NAME MYSELF

[squirrel--boy]

Like at least 80% of this site's Demographic is trans and has changed their name numerous times, that ain't no excuse bub

[grapefruit-offical]

yeah but i like roleplaying online with my full legal government name 😔

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

your full legal government name is grapefruit offical? And yu didn't even spell official correctly?

[satan-offical]

okay officals who weren't terminated raise your hand ✋

[playlist-offical]

okay let's settle this fr

which is tastier?

chairs

lamps

Voting ended onApr 21

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

what about bedframes?

[playlist-offical]

i feel like there's a reason you asked this question specifically, but i can't put my finger on it

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

ok but am i- I mean are they tasty

[playlist-offical]

is this cannibalism?

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

only if you want it to be

[playlist-offical]

okay let's settle this fr

which is tastier?

chairs

lamps

Voting ended onApr 21

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

what about bedframes?

[playlist-offical]

i feel like there's a reason you asked this question specifically, but i can't put my finger on it

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

ok but am i- I mean are they tasty

[playlist-offical]

okay let's settle this fr

which is tastier?

chairs

lamps

Voting ended onApr 21

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

what about bedframes?

[murder--offical]

people just be making officals of anything nowdays

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

fr

[slab-o-meat]

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

[amongthespaghetti]

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

[no-one-offical]

‎

[satan-offical]

Imma be profen with u

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

lemme be profen- *orange man hands*

[deftism]

i am 2% MUSCLE and 98% BULLSHIT

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

Rip julius caesar you wouldve loved backstabbers by ke$ha

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

Which has more lesbians?

A Chappel Roan concert

An all-girls Catholic school

Voting ended onFeb 25

[the-king-of-beans-offical]

a wimoweh a wimoweh a wimoweh a wimoweh

[the-king-of-beans-offical]

nO

[king-of-oreo]

*he said knowing damn well his fate was sealed*

[the-king-of-beans-offical]

a wimoweh a wimoweh a wimoweh a wimoweh

[the-king-of-beans-offical]

nO

[king-of-oreo]

*he said knowing damn well his fate was sealed*

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

Idk if you knew but I invented tumblr before you were born btw

[ur-least-fav-gal-offical]

i make that peenar go up like grinder rates in trump rallies

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

She grindr on my peenar till I trump

[ur-least-fav-gal-offical]

she trump on my grindr till i peenar

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

she peenar on my trump till I grindr

[ur-least-fav-gal-offical]

our work here is done, thank you

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

it's really the least I could do, much appreciated

[ur-least-fav-gal-offical]

im going to frame this

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

It's only right.

[ur-least-fav-gal-offical]

i make that peenar go up like grinder rates in trump rallies

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

She grindr on my peenar till I trump

[ur-least-fav-gal-offical]

she trump on my grindr till i peenar

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

she peenar on my trump till I grindr

[ur-least-fav-gal-offical]

our work here is done, thank you

[ikeamalmbedframe-offical]

it's really the least I could do, much appreciated