beeeeeeeeeeef.

Here you will find: things I think are funny, strong opinions, probably Batman, and definitely cats. Kra. 22. Genderfluid. They/them. Bisexual. Military Girlfriend. Martial Artist. Ya know, the usual kind.

[weaver-z]

Nobody talks about the termites killed by anteaters...... it's right there in the name. ANT eaters. No one even cares that they eat more termites than ants. There's a stigma

[giantanteaters-deactivated20230]

STIGMA CLAWS IN YOUR NEST

[batfamfucker]

We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.

[batfamfucker]

Barry: Eat the rich!

Bruce: Oh thank Go-

Clark: Oh, I intend to 🥴🥵

[batfamfucker]

[whispering-imp]

It’s Batman’s turn. Bruce needs to decide whether to marry himself for the money or throw himself off the cliff.

[primeemeraldheiress]

Okay but can you imagine what kind of identity reveal situation that would be?

“I would fuck —-, I would marry —-, and then I would commit suicide.”

“Batman, that’s not how the game is played. You have to choose for Bruce Wayne.”

“I did.”

“…WHAT?!”

[lynati]

“I would kill Bruce Wayne just to get him out of this conversation.”

[aqueerkettleofish]

This works best if the reveal comes after literally everyone else has played, and half of the people have said “I’d marry Bruce Wayne for the money” and the other half have not only said that they’d fuck him, but been reasonably graphic as to how.

[althor42]

Flash: So, tall, dark, and scary, what’ll it be? Are you going to marry Bruce Wayne so he can fund all of your sick gadgets? Maybe you’ll be a gentle lover to him like Aquaman here, work him over like a hunk of meat like Supes? Or maybe Brucie is the one person in the world you break your code for. Come on, what’ve you got for us?

Batman: -pauses- Honestly, I don’t think there will ever be a better time for this. -pulls off his cowl-

Justice League: -horrified screeching-

[batfamfucker]

pLEASE- 😭🤚

[kuromilesbian-deactivated202205]

imagine a caterpillar wearing a little rain coat

[eggs-before-flowers]

So many sleeves

[thenatsdorf]

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[immaplatypus]

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

[nox-the-possum]

@iliveinkorea surprise fucko, here’s a tumblr notification for you

[milesgmoralles]

[veryfunnymemes]

[bitchezbebonkers-deactivated202]

PLEASE AS A NURSE IM BEGGING YOU ALL PLEASE 

[juicy-baphobastard]

PLEASE ITS FUCKING IMPORTANT

[md-admissions]

I’m an ID fellow and I endorse this 100%

[buzzkillbyrne]

Hozier at Electric Picnic / Bigfoot sighting

[caroldanversenthusiast]

“LGBT people don’t need pride”

“LGBT people are accepted nowadays”

“LGBT people have enough representation”

“LGBT people have the same rights as others”

[queenentina-deactivated20180121]

my talents include avoiding difficult conversations and getting really sad over things i saw coming

[binches-deactivated20220521]

[dojacat]

[suplx-deactivated20190111]

this my girl pegging me for the first time after i told her i never had anything in my hole before and we getting into it hot and heavy but then she hear me moan “marcus” whos her brother who i met 2 years ago in my last year of college and had a secret night of passionate love making with on the night before graduation but we both agreed to never talk about it again because marcus decided he was straight and never wanted to talk to me again so i started dating his sister because i needed to be close to him again and because my hole hasnt been the same before since that night and i need him inside of me again

[slavery]

[astrodidact]

[rosswoodpark]

Everyone talks about how animals can see colors we can’t but I wanna know wtf my dog is smelling for three minutes on the sidewalk

[kalichnikov]

That’s conk creat babey!!!!!

[slowspinningredemption]

my advice for a haunting? real solid 100% foolproof Ghost Advice™? every time something creepy happens, turn in the direction of whatever it was, pause a moment, then slowly lick ur lips and say “…do that again” in ur most seductive voice. the ghost will feel very awkward and leave immediately. 

[slowspinningredemption]

then fuck the ghost you cowards

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

teacher *while handing out 40 year old textbook*: wikipedia is very unreliable

[teathattast]

[lovstrucmoved]

[sixpenceee]

When nervous, fawns’ instinct is to lie down in the grass and keep an eye on threat. But sometimes, they’ll do it in plain sight and think they’re hidden. (Source)

[cassiepanicked]

This is all I ever needed to know