Stonk Tronk

Paladin/Pal 🌟 30 🌟 he/him 🌟 Big McSpirker illegalpaladin on ao3

[illegalpaladin]

New Intro Post!

My name is Pal. I use he/him pronouns and am 30.

I write fanfic! I'm illegalpaladin on Ao3

I ship McSpirk and all its parts (Spirk, Spones, McKirk).

Other interests include D&D and Monster High.

My love, my life, and my wife is @fruitsboots

My inbox is open, and I frequently open drabble requests! Feel free to say hi <3

[illegalpaladin]

Would you be interested in a Mirrorverse Week?

I'm thinking something pretty straightforward. All Trek series would be welcome, all types of fan work would be accepted. I'd have daily prompts, reblog works, and make an ao3 collection.

So... mirrorverse week?

Yes, and I would create something for it

Yes, but I wouldn't create anything

No, this doesn't interest me.

Remaining time: 1 day 14 hours

[illegalpaladin]

Would you be interested in a Mirrorverse Week?

I'm thinking something pretty straightforward. All Trek series would be welcome, all types of fan work would be accepted. I'd have daily prompts, reblog works, and make an ao3 collection.

So... mirrorverse week?

Yes, and I would create something for it

Yes, but I wouldn't create anything

No, this doesn't interest me.

Remaining time: 1 day 14 hours

[reckless-glitch]

[ramblingandpie]

[Video description: Gritty is turning the crank on a flagpole to raise the Progress Pride Flag. He gesticulates angrily that the flag is not blowing in the wind, then gestures offscreen. The flag begins blowing. As Gritty begins raising the flag more, the camera pans out to show a man in a suit and sunglasses, looking like a stern Secret Service agent, is holding a leafblower that points at the flag. End description.]

[assiraphales]

star trek 2009 essentially said ‘the fate of the galaxy was dependent on bones loving jim enough to risk his entire career to sneak him onto the enterprise’

which is extra meaningful when you consider that when he got recruited he said he had 'nothing left but his bones'. starfleet was a way to start over, and it was his new life plan, but none of that mattered more than jim. they'd found each other at their rock bottoms, and rebuilt their lives together. he knew how much jim wanted to go to space, but more importantly bones didn't want to go without him

[aphrostiel]

the star trek trio meeting their miis

[joycomplexx]

by the way it's fine to like sexual content just for the sake of it. "we can't ban porn because other stuff will get banned" "sometimes nude art has value" "the government will classify queer people as sexual" this is all true but it's okay to just like porn. its okay to not want porn to be banned because you like it.

[giragirameganedan]

dreamt that itch.io released their own special adaptable accessible super thin flexible silicon game controller called the Butterfly you could also fuck (they packaged each one with lube and toy cleaner) but there was no specific obvious way you were supposed to fuck it they encouraged everyone to find their own special unique way to fuck it. and they ran these ads for it that were different people from all walks of life saying what they do with it . sunburned rural dad who folds it hotdog style and jacks off into it. biracial masc lesbian with undercut who tribs with the joystick. young amputee in wheelchair who lets it vibrate on his lap while he works on his novel. etc. beautiful supermodel woman whos like "and me? i just game. hard." it ended with them all triumphantly saying into the camera "and thats how *I* fuck #MyButterfly"

[illegalpaladin]

Made a spirk collage out of the tidbits of packaging from all the star trek stuff I've bought over the last few months

[pals-pet-project]

Pal's Pro Pet Tip #5: Mental Stimulation for Dogs

Tiring out a puppy or high-energy dog seems like an impossible task. It feels like they can run or walk or play fetch forever. And you’re so TIRED. How does this dog have more energy than you do?!

Don’t get me wrong; moderate physical exercise is still important, especially for a growing puppy. But relying solely on physical exercise is not recommended for a few reasons, including:

Overexercising a growing puppy can damage their growing joints and muscles

The more you exercise a dog, the stronger it becomes and the more endurance it has. So then you have to exercise your dog more, and more, and more, and more…

The general rule of thumb is 5 minutes of structured exercise for 1 month of age. So, an 8 week old puppy needs ten minutes of structured exercise, a 3 month old puppy needs 15, etc. 

But have you ever met a 3 month old puppy? They have so much more energy than 15 minutes of exercise is gonna burn.

That’s where mental stimulation comes in.

Working a dog’s brain actually burns MORE energy than physical exercise. It’s also a good form of enrichment! Think about it: if you spend a day focused and working, you’re more tired than a day doing nothing, right? It’s the same with dogs. So the secret to burning more energy is to use those doggy brains of theirs. 

How can I do that?

There are just about unlimited ways to keep a dog’s brain busy. Here are a few good ones:

Using their Noses

Sniffing walks: take your dog on a walk not focused on exercise, but instead on letting your dog sniff as you go. 

Treasure hunts: hide treats around the house or in the yard and have your dog sniff them out, like an easter egg hunt but with their nose. Make sure the area you’re using is clear of things that could be toxic to your dog!

Snuffle mats: these are mats that contain little pockets and flaps that you can hide treats in, and then the dog has to sniff them out. (Note: my dog figured out immediately that he could just pick up the mat and shake it, so now we duct tape our mats to the ground)

Solving Problems

Training: make your dog work for their food! Meal time is a great time to work on training, with a few pieces of kibble as a reward. Working through meals this way is a great way, especially for a food motivated dog, to work on brain stimulation, enrichment, AND bonding. Plus you’re hammering in those good behaviors you want to see!

Puzzle toys: pet stores sell plenty of puzzle toys you can teach your dog how to use! Something to note is you DO have to train your dog how to use them—they won’t instinctively know. There are also treat balls, which are another great option!

Destroying things: destruction is good for doggy brains! It’s enrichment and instinct for them. I know we all hate messes, but every once in a while, your dog needs to make a mess.

Cabbages: I’ve heard some dogs love ripping cabbages to shreds! You could also tuck treats into the layers if you wanted for them to find as they rip up.

Cardboard: my dog LOVES destroying cardboard specifically.

Cheap plush toys: you can get cheap toys at thrift stores (or on sale at pet stores) with the explicit purpose of letting your dog destroy them. Just be careful to avoid toys that have tiny pieces your dog could accidentally swallow! Embroidered faces are best. 

Chewing and Licking

Frozen treats: you can buy premade treats that you just need to stick in the freezer, or you can make your own! Dogs love Greek yogurt, peanut butter, and wet dog food, and these all work great frozen. Throwing in small amounts of fruits or veggies is also an option, if that’s something your dog enjoys!

Kongs: Kongs and similar toys are such great tools. You can fill them with just about anything: peanut butter, Greek yogurt, wet dog food… If you freeze them, it’ll take them even more time to work through them!. 

Chews: At some point, I’m going to make a whole post on chews. In the meantime, bully sticks and beef cheek rolls are great options, or there are toys (like Starmark) that you can refill with edible chews. 

Lick mats: work your dog’s brain by getting lick mats with different textures for them to lick clean. Spread their favorite liquidy treat over the mat (again, peanut butter, Greek yogurt, and wet food are all good options!) and either let them go at it, or freeze it to make it last longer.

Things to Avoid

People on tiktok and reddit have all sorts of tips and tricks for doggy mental stimulation. A lot of these are great! But there are some things to be cautious of when trying new things:

Things that are inedible that your dog can destroy and ingest. Lots of people suggest wrapping treats in towels for the dog to find, but I’ve heard too many stories of dogs eating the towels to be comfortable doing this myself. This really does depend on your dog, though! If your dog is older or very chill, the towel trick may work well for you!

Leaving your dog unattended. Especially with new activities, make sure you’re supervising your dog. This way, you can step in if they’re doing something they’re not supposed to or about to get hurt.

Rawhide, chews that are too hard, or bones that can splinter. Again, I’ll make a post on chews at some point. But all of these options pose potential danger or health risks to dogs. In general, if you can’t indent the chew with your fingernail, it’s too hard and should be avoided as they can chip teeth.

[illegalpaladin]

Did you guys know I also run a pet care blog?

[jerreeeeeee]

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

[jerreeeeeee]

what mutual is prev

my liege lord

my loyal knight

my wise wizard

my evil advisor

my brother in arms

my lady muse

my wild mermaid friend

my fellow alchemist

my dashing rapscallion

my monstrous foe

Remaining time: 2 days 22 hours

[illegalpaladin]

SPONERS RISE UP

My new AOS Spones fic just dropped! Come get your CNC/Somno/Drugged sex Spones!

[wasorum]

mckirklings doodled on my classical models in biology script

second one is because izz sent this and was like “type of thing bones does to jim when she's at the captain chair” which is sooo true actually.

(also this post by Affixjoy lives in my mind rent-free and it’s all i had in mind when doodling the spocklet)

[woman-becomer]

*kisses ur forehead*

*I absorb and consume one precious memory*

[donuteater13]

*forgets that you kissed my forehead*

[mevil]

[illegalpaladin]

🌷☕️

🌷:what's one fic that isn't as popular, but that you hold dear?

100% Under the Same Goddamn Moon. It was the first fic where I wove a few different plotlines together, and I love the world building in it, and I just love Spones.

☕: Coffee or tea while you write?

Someone else asked this too, and I said coffee, because in THEORY I'm a big iced latte fan. But in PRACTICE I always get some fruity little drink at the coffee shop. Shirley Temple or one of those fancy energy drinks or a raspberry italian cream soda. Though I am also actively writing and drinking a sweet tea right now lol

[illegalpaladin]

☕Coffee or tea while you write? :D

Coffee!!! My fave thing is to go to a coffee shop and write. Though usually I actually get a Shirley temple, because they have unlimited refills.