Illegal Touching

Sports and other simple things that lead to thoughts will be described with words. Incoherently.

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People forget an important part of the famous Emma Lazarus quote associated with the immigrants of this great country...

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In the classroom, in the community and on the playing field, Brian has built the foundation of a great Notre Dame football program — one that reflects this university's values and its unique relationship to football.

Jack Swarbrick, Notre Dame Athletic Director (January 2016)

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$50 says "Irish Celebration" will replace "Shipping Up to Boston" as the most overplayed, go-to drinking song in Boston and by Irish people in the next six months...

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In Defense of Jameis Winston

Ughhh. It pains to do this, but Jameis Winston not completely in the wrong in the crab legs fiasco. Here's his quote from the ESPN Draft Academy thing from last night: 

“...we met a dude that was inside Publix, and he said, ‘Hey, anytime you come in, I got you.’”

You don't have to be famous to know people that work in some type of store or eatery where you would love to get something at a greatly discounted rate, or for free. On the flipside, you may have been that person to offer somebody you know or admire something from your job at a greatly discounted rate, or for free, when you had no right to. So I can’t really give FSU fans the same amount of grief that I did before hearing/seeing this.

He still doesn't get the benefit of the doubt going forward though...

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I'm all hype. I lasted 15 years, all hype. I had 141.5 career sacks, all hype. I was always a starter. I played left end, and that made me get sacks. My coaches kept putting me in the game because they felt it gave us the best chance to win, and that was all hype.

Michael Strahan

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On sale now!

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NO!

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Slim's iPod (Get Stuffed, Turkey. Edition)-2013

³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ[ Tracklist ]ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³

     ³ :                                                                        : ³

     ³    01.Ray J - I Hit it First (Feat. Bobby Brackins)             [04:11]    ³

     ³    02.Eminem - The Monster (Feat. Rihanna)                      [04:10]    ³

     ³    03.Ace Hood - We Outchea (Feat. Lil Wayne)                   [04:20]    ³

     ³    04.Lupe Fiasco - Old School Love (Feat. Ed Sheeran)          [04:34]    ³

     ³    05.John Legend - All of Me                                   [04:30]    ³

     ³    06.Drake - Hold On, We’re Going Home (Feat. Majid Jordan)    [03:48]    ³

     ³    07.Katy Perry - Dark Horse (Feat. Juicy J)                   [03:36]    ³

     ³    08.Avicii - Hey Brother                                      [04:15]    ³

     ³    09.Stefan Biniak - The Read All About it Bootleg             [06:44]    ³

     ³    10.Zedd - Stay the Night (Feat. Hayley Williams of Paramore) [03:37]    ³

     ³    11.Lorde - Royals                                            [03:10]    ³

     ³    12.Imagine Dragons - Demons                                  [04:06]    ³

     ³    13.The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather                       [04:01]    ³

     ³    14.Vampire Weekend - Diane Young                             [02:40]    ³

     ³    15.Capital Cities - Safe and Sound                           [03:13]    ³

     ³    16.Paris Hilton - Good Time (Feat. Lil Wayne)                [03:37]    ³

     ³    17.The Saturdays - What About Us (Feat. Sean Paul)           [03:44]    ³

     ³    18.Mavado - Give it All to Me (Feat. Nicki Minaj)            [03:34]    ³

     ³    19.Wax - Rosana                                              [03:32]    ³

     ³    20.Childish Gambino - 3005                                   [03:56]    ³

     ³    21.Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Same Love (Feat. Mary Lambert)  [05:20]    ³

     ³    22.J. Cole - Born Sinner (Feat. James Fauntleroy)            [03:29]    ³

     ³    23.Flo Rida - Tell Me When You Ready (Feat. Future)          [02:47]    ³

     ³    24.Justin Bieber - Heartbreaker                              [03:58]    ³

     ³    25.Lady Gaga - Applause                                      [03:34]    ³

     ³    26.Ylvis - The Fox (What Does it Say?)                       [03:34]    ³

     ³    27.Pitbull - Timber (Feat. Ke$ha)                            [03:24]    ³

     ³    28.Imagine Dragons - Monster                                 [04:09]    ³

     ³    29.Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball                               [03:41]    ³

     ³    30.Kings of Leon - Wait for Me                               [03:30]    ³

     ³    31.Placebo - Too Many Friends                                [03:35]    ³

     ³    32.Lord Huron - Time to Run                                  [05:24]    ³

     ³    33.Bloc Party - Ratchet                                      [03:18]    ³

     ³    34.Britney Spears - Work Bitch                               [04:08]    ³

     ³    35.Katy Perry - Walking on Air                               [03:43]    ³

     ³    36.Chris Brown - Love More (Feat. Nicki Minaj)               [03:10]    ³

     ³    37.Nelly - Heaven (Feat. Daley)                              [03:23]    ³

     ³    38.T-Pain - Up Down (Do this All Day)(Feat. B.O.B)           [03:52]    ³

     ³    39.Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - White Walls                     [03:40]    ³

     ³       (Feat. Schoolboy Q & Hollis)                                         ³

     ³    40.Eminem - So Far                                           [05:18]    ³

     ³    41.Kid Cudi - Up Up and Away                                 [03:47]    ³

     ³    42.Justin Timberlake - TKO                                   [07:04]    ³

     ³    43.Regina Spektor - You've Got Time                          [03:18]    ³

     ³    44.John Mayer - Wildfire                                     [07:05]    ³

     ³    45.The Killers - Shot at the Night                           [04:01]    ³

     ³    46.The Civil Wars - The One that Got Away                    [03:33]    ³

     ³    47.Half Moon Run - Call Me in the Afternoon                  [03:04]    ³

     ³    48.Smallpools - Mason Jar                                    [03:54]    ³

     ³    49.Vampire Weekend - Ya Hey                                  [05:13]    ³

     ³    50.Katy Perry - Unconditionally                              [03:49]    ³

     ³    51.Tyga - Wait for A Minute (Feat. Justin Bieber)            [03:27]    ³

     ³    52.The Weeknd - Belong to the World                          [07:48]    ³

     ³    53.John Legend - The Beginning...                            [03:25]    ³

     ³    54.August Alsina - I Luv this Shit (Remix)                   [04:32]    ³

     ³       (Feat. Chris Brown & Trey Songz)                                     ³

     ³    55.Miguel - How Many Drinks? (Remix)(Feat. Kendrick Lamar)   [03:53]    ³

     ³    56.Jason Derulo - The Other Side                             [03:47]    ³

     ³    57.Danny Brown - Side A (Old)                                [02:23]    ³

     ³    58.Eminem - Rhyme or Reason                                  [05:02]    ³

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Perfect,

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..........

This is news worthy of two front page links?

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I got 99 problems and my tight end's one...

via

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Brothers? Or is it the heat melting my brain?

(via)

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Beware, women of St. Louis...

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This Is Why I'm Not In Show Biz

I went over to Uproxx last week to add my two cents about the Archer episode and made a seemingly innocuous statement about guest star Kristen Schaal. When I returned from work to check how the Q&A went I noticed that my comment was mentioned by someone towards the top of the thread. Now, I made my comment long before executive producer Matt Thompson was scheduled to be there, so I figured it would be unnoticed and buried at the bottom of the page where nobody can see it. Of course I was wrong…

Eh well, I stand by what I said. I'm not a fan. And I guess that's why I'm not in the entertainment business.

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Never Change, Beard Guy.

By now, everybody should know the legend of Beard Guy.  If you don't, I can only describe him as the "plink" guy in Walk Off The Earth's cover of "Somebody That I Used To Know." I figured that was the last we'd ever see of him...

... I figured wrong.

I was pleasantly surprised when I heard "Red Hands" on the radio the other day. I probably should have realized that in the YouTube era anybody that's even slightly musically inclined can get themselves a record deal, even if it's a cover of somebody else's song. But back to the point; Beard Guy. 

Look at him! Just strutting around playing a xylophone, like a bawse. I guarantee that is a direct result of this video xylophones will replace guitars as the instrument of choice for band frontmen. It's that powerful. This video will probably win a Grammy and the Oscar for Best Original Song. This man is a national treasure.

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Sure Tim Lincecum's haircut is news, but look at how happy dude to the left of him is...

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Multi-thousand Dollar Idea For Knicks/NBA.

Have a microphone attached to Rasheed Wallace throughout the game and replace their SAP an all-new SAP which stands for Sheed At Play.

Boom.