"sample text"

"sample text" (most of my own posts are on #tragic story bc the most interesting bits of my life are tragic.....) ENTJ

[ultradracula]

Controversial opinion but i dont think people should go to jail for objectively funny crimes

[powerjock]

gimme an example of a funny crime

[ultradracula]

[catchymemes]

[knockoffs-and-bootlegs]

Incredibly powerful underwear, spotted in Belize

[chrisweedpiano]

[coyotepack-official]

[greasemnk-deactivated20150904]

[osamah-deactivated20140324]

I CANT BREATHE THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO GIVEN TO MANKIND

[unclefather]

person: *laying on the table* this is a weird place for a massage parlor

me: *karate chopping their butt crack* this is a michaels craft store and i don’t work here

[shitpolsays]

[powerburial]

im going to cry

[direlog]

[dolley-madison]

oh my god stop cyberbullying Jeb Bush you’re making me pity him

[ok-dingo]

[nihilistwife]

One time I worked as a personal assistant for this rich dude. He was pretty ok for like. A dude w more money than I can rlly comprehend? Anyways a part of his assets was this grain processing plant; idk what they actually did I just ran errands for the dude n made sure he wasn’t bothered from big money decisions basically. Glorified coffee bitch? Anyways we’re working one day and the workers catch this random lady like??? Taking bags of whatever the hell they kept in the plant. We’re getting ready to call the cops, I’m getting anxious, and the boss…….. tells them to let her go. He tells her she’s allowed to take only what she can carry in her own arms. So she scrambled off with the bag of wheat or corn or whatever ???? And the crews super confused and the boss goes “do not stop her from getting what she can carry” & so that happens again like once a week for the next few months. I find out she’s actually an immigrant and a widow? Living with her dead husbands mom. She’s been stealing to feed her mom in law. Anyways eventually one day she like. Approached my boss. In his office.

And like a month later I was given an invitation to their wedding it was extremely fucked up my boss married a lady who was a wheat thief

[nihilistwife]

Classic bible story

[tanoraqui]

No that’s a fairy tale

[iwilltrytobereasonable]

Ruth can be both.

[catchymemes]

[soc1etysyndrome]

WHY THO LMFAO

[capturetheatre]

when theatre kids hear show tunes in public

[angel-gamer-deactivated20210424]

I think the funniest thing is her diction. Like that shit sticks with you.

[gaycop]

top reasons to get married

Firmly saying “That’s my wife!” and knock someone out in one punch

love i guess

[liquidisedfish]

i got yeeted back to the 2000’s

[chickenfarmersan]

[antique-scarecrow]

i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

[psychotictea]

A big mood

[spideyytorch]

i love her shes so nice i follow her on instagram and twitter <333333

[nevver]

[manhood]

She is giving us a LOOK

[itsnotthatcompelling-deactivate]

is this princess leia?

[la-plus-heureuse]

say what you want, but this shit was better than the scene in legally blonde when elle wins her case

[raincityruckus]

elle and jake wouldn’t make it a competition, they’d want us to appreciate the other for doing a darn good job.

[djmixedtape]

This scene had me whooping like a white suburban dad at their son’s football game

[peashooter85]

Mark Twain with his Colt Model 1903 pistol, 1908.

[sexhaver]

i cant stop thinking about this picture. the stance. the white suit. the way the gun looks like he’s just making a gun symbol with his fingers. the way his eyebrows are more prominent than his mustache. his fucking neck

[screenshotsofdespair]

[snoodle-soup-deactivated2024081]