What is your spaghetti policy here?

when you and your friend are low on potasssium

[pucikat-deactivated20200924]

i had a really fucked up dream omg

[my-notes-app-deactivated2020061]

p&f related?

[pucikat-deactivated20200924]

sorry but phineas and ferb were not in it.

[my-notes-app-deactivated2020061]

buford?

[pucikat-deactivated20200924]

no characters from phineas and ferb were there.

[2ward]

ppl doing long distance pet play on here is so fucking funny like your dog is off its leash bro . it’s in another state

[officialunitedstates]

to all my spanish speaking followers:  hola

to all my non-spanish speaking followers who feel left out:  don’t worry, I just said “hello”.  maybe someday you too can grasp another language

[anarqueeen]

My gf loves playing with my dick in bed because it's "like a little fidget toy"

[anarqueeen]

Normal sized fidget toy

[vee-dmsr]

[pidgefudge]

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may

[anton--rayne]

very sad that these posts I had assumed my beloved mutual would enjoy seem to be missed. atleast this completely random stranger with somehow similar aesthetic is enjoying them

[lakemojave]

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

[glubby]

i would like a hug…. JUST KIDDING! i would like TWO hugs. (suddenly becomes cold and standoffish) i don’t need anything or anyone and i don’t want to talk about it.

[coughloop]

why are people submitting asks with skulls? to be scary? 👣

...can you put your shoes back on

[feastofsnakes]

this is actually literally how every day felt in high school

[podcastwizard]

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

[pjackk]

Dude i want the skoodydoo🐕 giant sandwich🥪

[stroebe2]

[dogpuppy]

[bgm05]

i think the angriest ive ever made someone on reddit was when they used an emoji while arguing and i said "What is this tiny yellow picture"

[antigoneprogone]

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.