no thought head empty

▪︎ they/them ▪︎ ✨️I'm just a lil creature✨️ ▪︎ fibromyalgia, osdd system, autistic, bpd, transnonbinary ▪︎

[im-here4]

Goddamn these months have been coming, and they don't stop coming.

[im-here4]

This year has been a lot, mostly good, but the messy/crap parts have been really hard. Trying my best to do my best, I hope y'all have been well 🫶

[im-here4]

Work has been absolutely horribly miserable this year so far 🙃

[im-here4]

Trash thankfully taking themselves out 💚

[im-here4]

Anyone else's seasonal affective disorder going nuts already? I can't wake up to save my life or make it to my apts.

[im-here4]

Not doing so well but trying to hang in there, I hope November will bring peace to everyone 🫶✌️

[im-here4]

[im-here4]

[im-here4]

One of my system, Cassie, our trauma holder has been really excited over a new hobby. She's really wanted to show others, so please be nice!, she is approx 5-6 years old.

We love dinosaurs collectively, always have, and found a fb group dedicated to dino toy photography!

So we've been taking photos 💚 they all have names too haha, these aren't all of our dinos we do have more but haven't taken good photos yet:)

[fibro-memes]

[fibro-memes]

[im-here4]

Been mainly using this platform to vent, and I will probably still do that a bit from time to time. But I think I'd like to steer this toward being a bit more positive for us but also others:)

[insidestory1]

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about fatigue is that it's just a more extreme version of tiredness. Fatigue and tiredness are not the same thing. The biggest difference between them is that tiredness goes away if you rest, but fatigue doesn't. When you suffer from fatigue, your body keeps draining you even while you're lying down or sleeping. It's like a leak's been opened up somewhere and your energy keeps draining away no matter what you do. All you can do is wait and hope that at some point the flow will stop.

[im-here4]

What the actual hell is wrong with people. I woke up yesterday to a friend, well ex friend now, letting me know out of the blue that they no longer wanted to be friends because I "don't care about their life."

I have for the past couple months been having them over every week to use my washer/dryer, have set aside time to hang out for laundry and push off my own things until they go home after. We've had deep conversations about life, interests, etc etc. They are on disability and need some help with things and I have always been happy to help, let them use my things, helped clean their house, and give them gifts. I have been there to listen and give advice on problems, etc. Regular friend things to show that I care 🤷. Also always supporting their endeavors like pet sitting and considering going back to school for dog grooming. They blocked me immediately after sending their message so, no room for conversation, and then posted some vague thing on their fb. A different friend sent it to me, it said something or other about how heartbreaking it is to find out your friends don't care about you. I unfortunately struggle with fibromyalgia, had surgery recently, do full time school, and nearly full time work so I don't always have lots of time to give or energy to give. It's a slap in my face that giving what I could clearly was not enough.

I don't understand and my feelings are crushed.

[im-here4]

Pinned, wings spread wide, exposed

each thin metal prick a testament to the weight on my back

pushing down sharp to cork board

hang me on the wall stare at me through the glass

am I beautiful from the outside, do you see my twitches of movement?

my tiny insignificant signs of life?

a desperate struggle to fly

flutter wings unbound through the open blue

pollinate the smallest daisies you unthinkingly step on

am I beautiful to you

[im-here4]

[insidestory1]

I find it very offensive that the more unwell you are, the more things you have to do to maintain your health. Things like following special diets, going to medical appointments, making big and important decisions about what treatments to use. At the same time, the more unwell you are the less energy you have to do all of these extra things. It seems grossly unfair.