QTTY

[amipasta]

stephanie did not become robin again for damian for people to act as though they don’t like each other. damian did not let talia take stephanie to the lazarus pit for people to act as though they don’t like each other. stephanie did not cater to exactly how damian needs to be comforted for people to act as though they don’t like each other. cassie sandsmark did not call stephanie damian’s sister for people to act as though they don’t like each other!!!!

[bruce-wayne-enjoyer]

HC that Jason tends to stress bake. This started when Jason first began therapy, and his counsellor basically had him try old hobbies as saner, constructive coping mechanisms.

So Jason just makes like 60 cookies every other day, and maybe a whole ass marble cake, sometimes it's as simple as a few tarts.

The family starts understanding it as code overtime, of Jason offering his stress food and with it, a hand reaching out for help.

It's silly progress.

But also progress.

.

.

Steph, answering the phone: Yewwol?

Jason, actually shaking on the other line: I made 20 pans of brownies and I don't even remember buying 20 pans to make brownies in and I feel so stupid and- WHY WON'T THIS PIPPING BAG CLOSE

Steph: ...So it's a Brownie day?

Jason: ...yeah ☹️

Steph: Right. Give me a few minutes. Damian's coming to help pass the brownies around to your neighbors, then we're eating one for ourselves.

.

.

Alfred: Why is Master Jason in our kitchen on an undetermined family day... making macaroons?

Tim, not looking up from his phone: JK R*wling was on his fyp today

Alfred: Ah, I see.... Well, at least Master Jason has not—

[from afar] Jason: WHERE'S THE FUCKING RED 40.

Alfred:

Alfred: Well, at least he didn't ask for Blueberries.

.

.

Jason: I made 100 cookies 😠 because you shouted at me 😠😠 for finishing the job during patrol last night 😠😠😠

Bruce: Mm.

Jason: This is all YOUR FAULT. I expect to be renumerated for EVERYTHING — the ingredients, the electric bill, the time.

Bruce: Mm.

Jason: And you're NOT getting any this time! 😠 I gave it away to the orphanage two blocks from my apartment 😠 because only those orphans deserve my treats 😠😠😠

Bruce: Okay.

Jason:

Bruce:

Bruce, also emotionally constipated and trying hard in therapy: Do you want a hug?

Jason: ...fuck you.

[they do hug]

[jayscarraway]

Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.

Begin.

[gothamgraveyard]

Steph and Cass are yuri bait wdym they're not girlfriends

[ilovemybruciewayne]

What nicknames does Bruce have for the Batfam/People he loves?(Not like Baby or sweetheart but like personalised Nicknames like I.e. My sunshine for duke)

(Edited bc I keep forgetting I have 2 tags for those two possessive jerks)

I started this fully intended to be just a list and suddenly I was writing a whole ass paragraph on Tim's nickname. At the end I said fuck it, everyone gets their paragraph. So, this is on you, anon.

They each have their nicknames. Those unique ways Bruce calls for them, and only them. And fuck if anybody else wants to call them that way, that's Bruce's right alone, just like it's theirs own privilege and theirs only. Seriously. Fuck anyone who tries to use it in any context (You can ask Kon for the time he called Tim Sweetheart and got an attempt of a bite in response. Don't worry, he avoided it, Tim's teeth are fine~).

Dick will always be chum. That's his. He might slip and call the others chum every now and then. But Dick knows he's chum. He's his boy. He. Is. Chum. Dick will still maniacally laugh whenever Bruce slips. Usually followed by a moody man clinging to his back. That's his chum.

One time, Clark called him chum instead of his usual "champ"... And Clark had to look over his shoulder for a whole week. "Freaking scary! I'm telling you he smiled like a shark after a drop of blood in the open ocean" "That's my kid you're talking about" "..." "He would never-" "Oh, Rao. He's coming..."

If at some point during their relationship Bruce started calling him Love and Dick never corrected him, that's between them. And that only adds another reason as to why he hates Bruce's parterns. How dare they answer when Bruce calls for him?

He stopped flipping them off over Bruce's shoulder when he turned 16. Because he left. Yes... Wait. No. He did flip Selina once when he was 18. But then he sto- No, no. Waaaaait. There was this time he hugged Batman's head so he could easily flip off Lantern, and he's sure he was officially in the League by then. Surely that was the last time... No. Right. He flipped Khoa off, just last week, when the douchebag smirked at Bruce's "love" as Dick walked behind Ghostmaker. Right right right...

So he still cusses and hisses at them, whatever. He has the right to. How dare they.

Jason is his Jaylad. But he's also his baby. Jason might go red in the face whenever a sleep deprived Bruce forgets they are supposed to be on bad terms, and calls for him with open arms and a soft shine in the eyes... Bruce always forgets. Bruce is always sleep deprived. Bruce always calls him baby. But he is mainly Jaylad when others are on ear reach.

Jason wanted to hate being called baby when he was a kid. He wanted to be an adult so badly. And Bruce couldn't see him as anything but a baby. He didn't like it at all.

When he returned, he thought he would hate it. But after a rough night, and Bruce's lips pressing on his pulsating forehead, calming the headache and guiding him away from the panic attack, he rediscovered the nickname. It came back with revenge.

And he wanted to go back to being a kid and deny the guilt he felt for taking Bruce's baby away from him that night. He was no longer a baby.

But Bruce's fingertips played around with curls, and his name sounded foreigner on his ears. But baby? That was natural. That was him. He was Bruce's baby. He couldn't leave even if he tried.

There are some times where they are actually fighting, and Bruce does NOT call him baby as a goodbye and does NOT opens his arms for a goodnight hug, and Jason will be found fucking SOBBING in a corner because his dad fucking hates him and life is awful.

Bruce will hug him, kiss his forehead, and tell him how proud he is of his baby boy. And Jason WILL pretend he's annoyed and be all giddy for the rest of the week.

He will, chest all puffed out and shit, call himself Bruce's baby when fighting with his siblings. Bruce should never know.

Tim is Sweetheart. That's just his middle name by now. Who the fuck is Jackson? He goes by Timothy Sweetheart Wayne-Drake. That's not what his papers say? Well FUCK YOU. He does bite.

It's a common nickname, and his siblings do bother him about it ("Shut it, baby"). But he loves it. What he hates is hearing it on the street, or whenever someone speaks of their significant other... He should patent it...

He also has a secret nickname Bruce only calls him by, when speaking about him to other people. Angel. Tim is Bruce's angel.

Does Tim know about it since he has his whole family wired and of course he heard Bruce call him that more than once, and of course he melts everytime he hears it, but he'll take it to the grave as long as it makes Bruce happy? "Shut up, love"

Cassandra is his princess. His darling. Cass' face whenever she hears his father calling her across the room might just as well be considered world heritage, be printed and put under a high security safe.

The JL doesn't usually know of the children's nicknames, Bruce is super careful with their private lives (Except chum, but that's because that pair is insane about each other and openly calls themselves by nicknames since Dick's first year as a Robin). But, there was this one time Bruce called for Diana in that way she only allowed him to call her, and Cass confidently moved to his side. "... Yes, Batgirl?" "You.. Called"

They think it's adorable. And now they're trying to figure out the other's nicknames. They have bets, and all. "No, Wing. You're not part of it!" "YES, WING. WE KNOW. WE FUCKING KNOW!"

Bruce normally doesn't call her darling. That nickname sounds too Brucie. But whenever she's laying over him, head pressed against his beating chest, and he slowly gets dragged away by sleep; he will slide his fingers on black silky hair, barely audible whispers, soothing his darling to sleep while he protects her from the nightmares.

Damian hates that Jason has taken baby. He secretly wants to be baby. He has the right! HE IS BABY!!

Lately, though, it doesn't bother him as much whenever Jason starts his "I'm baby" rant. Why? Well, the reason has been carefully detailed in a notebook where he secretly started to point out every time Bruce calls him by something besides his name.

It started with Sugarplum. Which, sure, he's tiny so- But then he was Muffin, he was Honeydrop, he was Taffy, Jellybean, Bonbon, Biscuit, Sweetpie- He's basically any alliteration of a sweet little treat.

Damian adores it. He won't mention it to his siblings, they must have already figured it out themselves. He will rejoice in the not so secret pleasure of knowing his father sees - and calls - him as a drop of sugar on his bitter world.

The first time he called Duke Sunshine, the teen bluescreened. He loves Bruce. He does see a father in him... But he's not his father. He has... Had, one father. And he told the bat exactly that.

So he expected Bruce to close off, to be more curt, to keep his distance; since, you know, he basically rejected him and his love.

But no, there he is. Waving for him to sit on the other side of the table, gushing over his report card, laughing at something silly Duke had said, nagging at him for being careless, complimenting his outfit, saying good morning, soothing him as he cries over his parents... And calling him sunshine. His sunshine. His Duke.

Duke shouldn't accept Bruce as his dad. He has a dad. But Bruce already accepted Duke as his son. And he can't hide the way it warms him inside knowing that.

So now Duke can smirk while the others fight. "I'm the light of his days" and enjoy the chaos it ensues.

Stephanie wants to always be mad at Bruce. She needs to. They could have been a family, they should have, they deserved to be one. They needed to be one. But they never were. She wants oh so much to hate him, but she can't. Bruce is the dad she wants. SHE WANTS. She craves, she STARVES for that. But he denied her that once, and once is way too many on her book. So she rejects his love. So she cuts, and hurts and pushes and- Bruce calls her Nugget.

She laughed it off once, jokingly asking if it was because of a gold nugget, and when he tilted his head in That Way™ and nodded, she cackled. Of course "because I'm the gold between all this black haired?" He looked surprised "That also works, but no"

She ran away before starting to embarrass herself by crying in front of him, after he explained she was this tiny shiny speckle of honesty and novelty hiding in the mud where he was lucky enough to stumble upon her. He told her how big that speckle has gotten. It went from a faint shine that could have been washed away between his fingers, lost in the current... But there she is. Growing. Learning. Shining. Now a nugget. No, she's even bigger now. She's a whole brick of gold. But nugget is cuter. That smile got her on her feet, running away only to return and kiss his cheek before vanishing in the shadows to quickly get to her (HER!) room in the manor and scream against her pillow.

She loves Bruce. That's the father she wants but will keep refusing out of spite. And she might never forgive him, but she's his nugget now and for the rest of their eternity.

Whenever someone asks Barbs about the way Bruce addresses her, there might be two outcomes: She will blatantly lie about it, or she'll turn overly protective, because "Why do you care. That's between us".

The late one usually happens after her nickname reaches a new version, and she's reminded of the passing of time. She hates the passing of time. She loathes the way her loved ones weaken. Fuck time.

You see, she started as Babs. That's why she's also protective of it. That was Bruce's first way to address her. She was Babs. Makes sense, right? Barbara, Barbs, Babs. Right.

But then she was Barbie. So she DESPISES being called that. That's also Bruce's only. Some new people tend to navigate towards it... Since Barbara, Barbie, logical connection. But no. Only Bruce can say it in a way it doesn't sound mocking. It's lovely when Bruce says it. Because that's her Bruce. The older brother she misses.

Then she was Doll. And Barbara thought it was his Brucie taking space, but no, no no. That's just his silly little playful self messing in that silly little playful way he only does with her.

And as the years went by, he kept doing that. He kept mixing her nickname. And she loved it, until she noticed that a new change meant a specific period of time had passed. And a specific amount of new scars had covered Bruce's self. And she couldn't fully enjoy it anymore.

The nicknames keep getting more obscure, and the bats enjoy deciphering their roots.

Babs > Barbie > Doll > (The Polly) Pocket (Doll) > (Pocket-less) Skirt > Flame(nco Skirt)

She does enjoy messing with new people tho. "It's because I'm fiery, like a flame" "It's because I lighted his cape on fire, once" "It's because of my hair"

She fears the arrival of a new nickname. But, at the same time, she hopes he actually gets to give her a new one in a few years.

[profoundathletecowboybanana]

I remember right after the Superman movie come out everyone was making the “Clark saved Lex’s life by saving Krypto before Kara ever found out” jokes and its absolutely fantastic to me how supergirl 100% confirmed that to be true. Lex doesn’t even KNOW how lucky he is that he got the emotionally stable super

[upiniraz]

Clark yelling “WHERES THE DOG, LEX?” Knowing damn well Kara would beat BOTH their asses

[enyoarchives]

The concept of the JL coming across a threat that has powers to neutralise magic. Like maybe they have the genetic ability to have the space around them be completely anti-magic, or that they neutralise anyone that touches them. Any member of the JL coming in close contact that has magic powers would be immediately stripped off their abilities or weakened.

In this setting, one of the most obviously best member that could hold them down and supervise is Batman, right? Because he's completely human. Except the moment he steps into the affected area or touch them, he feels off.

He shakes it off initially to focus on the task. But he notes down how his focus lessens, or that his body is more weary than usual despite the previous work he's done being not nearly as taxing as it would usually take to slow him down. After detaining the threat, he assigns a different non-magic-powered member to guard them right before leaving the cell.

The moment he does, he instantly feels rejuvenated. Like he's slept for days and hasn't attained any injuries for a good while. At that moment he knew something was off about him and quickly leaves for the cave to find out more.

~~~~

Just an idea about how Bruce unknowingly becoming a meta or eldritch horror by being Batman, by being Lady Gotham's Dark Knight. He doesn't notice because it's subtle, like his vision becoming more sharper, his hearing heightened, or his limbs more flexible anytime he dons the cowl. A level of inhuman strength that he can achieve in the suit but is incapable as Bruce Wayne. Maybe the gauntlets grow claws that seem like they're connected to him despite Bruce never putting any, or that the cape hung on his back tend to seem more alive than it should be and carries him in the air longer than a human should be able to glide.

Bonus if the kids get the same magic, and they discover it by experiencing the same disorientation when they approach the threat. I just think it's a neat idea.

[writingishellandiamhereforit]

Damian: Why are there several of you here? Kon Kent, shrugging: Dunno. Wally West: Dick invited me. Roy Harper, holding a sleeping Lian: Jason said something about family dinner. Jon Kent: You said we were doing something. Hal Jordan: Bruce said we should come over, also about a family dinner. Selina Kyle: Right. Damian, looking over his shoulder, shouting: YOUR GAYS ARE HERE! Tim was first: Kon, you made it! Kon: Yeah, Jon made sure I did. Jon: You're welcome! Jason was second: My gay? What about your little thing with superboy two? Damian: Shut up! Roy: Hey baby. Jason: Sup? Damian: Gross, gross gross. Go away. Jason, cackling: You got it, baby bird. Bruce was third: Don't call them that, Damian. Damian: You are the only person here who took offense to that. Hal is literally gay, and Selina is Bi. You're a pansexual mess! Hal: He has a point, Spooky. Selina: Leave the kid alone, bat. He's having fun. Bruce, sighing: Right, right. Dick was last: Wally! You're on time. Wally: Why was everyone invited here? Dick: It's a yearl- Damian: It's pride month, idiot, Alfred has a huge feast for the start of Pride Month to assure to the family that he loves us and supports us unconditionally. Dick: That. We're to invite our partners for it too. Jon: Even if someone in the family is straight, like Duke, Alfred loves to make sure he invites his partners. Damian: I think Duke actually came out as Bi? Jon: Did he? Congrats to him. Unlucky he's single though. Damian: Whatever. Alfred: Come on, now, boys, dinner is ready. Damian: Thank you Pennyworth. Jon: Happy Pride Month everyone!

[robs-your-robins]

I don't care what canon says, Commissioner Gordon hears a Robin killed a guy, he's not going to react like that especially if the guy they killed was creep or tried to hurt them.

Batman: Commissioner, Robin has killed him. We have failed you. I take full responsibility, as does Robin.

Gordon: OK.

Batman:

Gordon: So, what? You need help?

Batman: Commissioner, I don't expect-

Gordon, grabbing Bats by the shoulders and shaking him: Get a hold of yourself. Now, do you need help with the body? Does Robin need change of clothes? Counselling? I know a guy. Bullock? Bullock? Robin was in your squad car all night, right?

Bullock, appearing from nowhere: Yeah. Little twerp ate half my powdered donuts and broke the car radio. Had them the whole night.

Batman:

Bullock: I ain't a baby sitting service, Bats.

Batman: But-

Gordon: Shut your Bat hole. Now, where is Robin?

[dairy-free-miilk]

[eros-telesse]

Premis 1 and 2

*Everyone is in patrol except for Damian and Tim, who are being benched.*

Jason on comms : How's the cleaning going? *Laugh*

Tim on comms : Fuck you Jason.

Steph on comms : Come on Tim! It's hilarious!

Tim on comms : Fuck you Stephanie.

Dick on comms : But seriously how's the cleaning? I don't think someone has done a whole clean up of this place in like... Forever!

Tim on comms : *Sigh* I’d say things aren’t going too badly. Well Damian has been in the closest for the last twenty minutes and-

Damian heard on Tim comms : OH MY FUCKING GOD, I’M SO FUCKING FAR IN THIS FUCKING CLOSET THAT I CAN SEE FATHER!

Everyone on comms :

Jason on comms : AHAHAHAHAH

Steph on comms : *We hear her wheezing so hard before we hear a weird loud sound*

Cass on comms with a smirk in her voice : She fell off the rooftop.

Dick on comms : *Cackling harder*

Bruce on comms : Damian is benched for one more week.

*More laugh in the comms*

[uglynavel]

I wanna know where people have lately gotten the audacity to leave comments on fanfics talking about how much the fanfic sucked and negatively critiquing an author's fic like it's a published book review.

It pisses me off cause I've seen authors abandoned or delete their fics because of this.

You're getting fanfics for FREE! No one asked for your opinion.

I hope y'all know as authors we get email notifications when you comment so we see EVERY comment that's been left.

We also can see the negative reviews you leave when you bookmark our fics

[robs-your-robins]

Kon: So, I'm taking Tim out for- Wally: Wait. Out as in dating? Romantically? Kon, annoyed: Yeah, so? Roy: And you, uh, cleared it with the big bat? Kon: Bruce? I mean, he knows, I guess. I didn't ask him for permission. Wally: He's cooked, Roy. Kon: He's chill. Roy: Yup. Cooked. Kon: I know he's the Batman and all that but he's not like that. We always get on. Wally: Yeah, so did we. Then I woke up one night and he was sitting on my bed. He wanted to talk about the open door policy he had the Manor. Roy: He ran me off the road just to "talk". Next thing I know, he's lecturing me about respect and how I should keep my hands to myself. Wally: To be fair, you could tone down the PDA. Roy: I literally patted Jay's leg before I got up to get him a beer. Bruce blew out my back tires and left me stranded on the freeway at 4am Kon: Well, that's you two. Bruce has always been on my side. We- *muffled footsteps on the roof* Kon: What the- Wally: That's either Santa Claus or Bruce "Touch my boy and I'll gut you" Wayne. And it's fucking July. See you around, buddy. Roy: Imma head out.

[redsray]

Bruce being a dad in the “basically adopts his childrens’ significant others” way.

Like, whether intentionally or not, he’ll find himself looking out for those kids that aren’t his, not quite, but they’re close enough.

Bruce, going up to Wally after a JL mission: Are you alright? No injuries?

Wally, unharmed and confused: Um. Yeah?

Bruce, nodding: Good.

Wally, had been expecting a stern ‘report’: Yep.

Bruce: Debrief first, then we’re going home.

Wally: ‘Home’???

Wally: I mean um. Sure.

Bruce, picking up Jason’s ringing phone while his son is in the kitchen: Hello?

Roy: Hey—! You’re not Jaybird.

Bruce: No.

Roy: Bruce. Why do you have Jay’s phone?

Bruce: Jason is in the kitchen. I can bring the phone to him, but I doubt he’ll appreciate being distracted.

Roy, sighing: Yeah, he can be a real snob with cookin’.

Bruce, humming: Anything I can help you with, Roy?

Roy: Uh. Tell ya what, yeah, actually. I need some files from Jay about a drug ring he was following up on, they might be infiltrating underground gangs here in Star.

Bruce: I can help. If you’re organising a bust, is Lian being taken care of?

Roy: Yeah, I already asked Kori to mind her.

Bruce, satisfied: Perfect. She’s welcome to bring her to the Manor.

Roy, slightly suspicious of the goodwill but won’t complain: I’ll pass it on.

Bruce: Clark.

Clark: B! Nice to see you. How’s your day been?

Bruce: Good enough. How’s Conner?

Clark, frowning: Fine, last I checked. He hasn’t been at the farm in a while, but I saw him a few days ago.

Bruce: Hn. You might want to check in on him.

Clark: Is he alright?

Bruce: Physically, yes. He seems to be stressing an abnormal amount, though. Returning to parents’ farm might be beneficial for him.

Clark: He’s not the type to stress for too long.

Bruce: No.

Clark: I’ll check on him, I’m sure Ma and Pa miss him. Thanks, B.

Bruce: Just go.

Bruce checks his phone a few hours later to see a text message from Tim reading ‘i know you did something. thx, b’.

Bruce: You’re welcome to stay the night, Jon. It’s late.

Jon: Huh? Oh, no, it’s fine Mr. Wayne. I can just fly back. My parents will be expecting me.

Bruce: No need, I have already informed Clark that you’re staying.

Jon: ???

Bruce: Dinner will be ready in 10.

Jon: ?????

Bruce: Damian is waiting in the dining room. Have a nice evening.

Jon: Thank you…???

[yuts2dc]

The Batkids dealing with a de-aged Bruce.

But Baby Bruce being a velcro kid because Martha suffered so much during the pregnancy that she used to spend all her time cuddling the little guy she brought into the world.

The Batkids were not expecting to end up with a tiny Bruce who had the most pinchable cheeks imaginable, followed Alfred around like a baby duck, and babbled with a soft voice, his words all jumbled together.

And they DEFINITELY were not expecting him to become clingy with everyone.

Once Alfred assured Bruce that they were his friends, Bruce simply attached himself to them. After all, Alfred never really broke his butler's composure, so Bruce had to find affection elsewhere.

Dick was working on some documents while Bruce was off doing his own thing. Then Baby Bruce wandered into the room.

Bruce: Dick?

Dick: What's up, B?

Bruce, raising his arms: Up? Up?

Dick tried to resist, but he couldn't. Bruce was simply too cute: Oh my God, yes. Come here, chum. 🥹

Jason: He's basically living in your lap at this point.

Dick: Shut up, he's resting his head on my shoulder—

Tim: He's eating your hair.

Bruce: :D

[ciricearts]

my bi queen for pride month<3

[bruce-wayne-enjoyer]

Space has no smell, which is why Hal loves coming home to be enveloped in nice scents

When he moved in with the Waynes some few months into dating Bruce, his olfactory senses were refreshed by scents he normally can't afford

The scented candles assigned to every room. The fine body washes everyone used. The blooming aroma of the manor's extravagant kitchen. The rolling yard full of flowers.

But above all, Hal loved the scent of Bruce

Whether he smelled like gunpowder and scum as Batman, or sugar and mint as a Wayne, Hal loved smelling Bruce

Bruce doesn't mind, but he does love it when Hal pushes into the crook of his neck or doesn't release his hands after kissing them, just to take a deep breath of his skin and be overwhelmed by his lover's presence

Bruce thinks it's terribly intimate, the way Hal's head follows his direction. He's done some cheesy maneuvers to get him a kiss or two from it

It would be cute, if only they weren't freaky with it

.

.

[during a JL meeting, Hal and Bruce sitting across for each other, staring at each other unblinkingly]

[Hal is noticeably keeping two fingers from his dominant hand close to his nose]

[something happens in the meeting. Hal takes a deep inhale to speak and lets his hand fall away. Bruce sees this and clears his throat loudly]

Clark, sitting next to Bruce and seeing this shit too, closing his eyes tight: Lord Jesus if it's my time then let thy will be done...

.

.

Bruce, curtly: Green Arrow, have you seen Lantern? I plan to realign him with the latest Watchtower developments and updates after his prolonged off-planet mission

Oliver, smelling a vintage chanel perfume on the batsuit:

Oliver:

Oliver: Now you know damn well—

.

.

Hal: [nosing along Bruce's neck while Bruce sits on his lap facing everyone as he blabbers]

Bruce: [lets it happen]

Diana, turning to Barry: I do believe this is what the youths call... the Omegaverse?

Barry, sick in the stomach: PLEASE never say this again about it