This is my goodbye (at least from this blog).
Since this is my secondary blog and it bothered me that I cannot answer to comments etc I have decided to create a new blog ( @imagineyourworld ) where I will post any new fanfictions as well as updates to the ones I started on this blog.
I will reblog everything I have written to the new blog, but I’ll keep this one, just in case, though it will be inactive from now on.
I’m looking forward to having a primary blog for my fanfictions and hope I will see you there <3
After sex Wolffe is a puppy (sorry for the pun). He makes sure that you’re alright, gets you a glass of water and urges you to pee afterwards (he knows it is important for your health down there). If the two of you are not too tired he just loves taking a bath with you, just holding you close, shampooing your hair and whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Wolffe loves your lips! How soft they are against his, how pink and plush they look after kissing or when he bites them (he also adores when you bite them when you’re nervous or thinking), the marks they leave on him and how good they feel on every single part of his body.
As for himself, I feel like Wolffe would be proud of his arms/shoulders, especially whenever he gets to hold you close he loves knowing that he is strong enough to protect you (even if you don’t need him to) or carry you to the bedroom when you’re in the mood.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
Whether he has pulled out and spread his seed on them or some of it tickled out of you, Wolffe loves seeing your thighs covered in his cum. And he loves licking it off of them.
And as mentioned before he loves your lips, so seeing even just a single drop of his cum on them is a close second favourite.
D = Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Wolffe would love to watch you touch yourself to the thought of him. You’ve told him that you’ve done it before, but at that moment he was too surprised to go further into the topic. One day though, he promises himself, he will ask you if he can watch.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Not crazy experienced, but he knows what he’s doing. Wolffe is a very closed off and private person, so he doesn’t just jump into bed with anyone, but there have been times (before you were together of course) where he went home with someone after a night out.
F = Favourite position (This goes without saying)
Wolffe’s not picky, he’s fine with whatever feels best for you. But oh boy does he get off on seeing the expressions on your face when he’s deep inside you, so basically any position in which he can see your face (and kiss your lips) is his favourite.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc)
He is a pretty serious person in general, so he’s not exactly goofy in bed, but that doesn’t mean he is opposed to laughing every now and then. The first time you laughed, however, had him feeling incredibly insecure until you explained that you weren’t laughing at him.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc)
Wolffe is a pretty tidy guy, so he keeps his hair groomed, but not entirely shaved off.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
It may be surprising, but during sex Wolffe can be a real romantic. He wants to make sure that you’re feeling fine, that you’re taken care of and your pleasure always comes first. But even though it’s rare, sometimes he can be rough and have his way with you (as long as you agree of course), but as soon as he’s finished he’ll take care of your needs.
J = Jack off (Mastrubation headcanon)
Before he met you Wolffe just didn’t understand the appeal of mastrubating. But now, when he thinks of you, he sometimes can’t help but sneak off to his private quarters or the shower and get off to the thought of you.
There was this one time you sent him a spicy holo and let’s just say he spent some time alone after that.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
One word: Cockwarming. Some days he enjoys having you so close, being one with you and knowing that you only do this for him and no one else. Some days he likes to tease you, make you all hot and bothered by giving you the bare minimum, but keeping you stuffed full of him all the same.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Since Wolffe is a pretty private person it should come as no surprise that he prefers the privacy of your bedroom, he’s fine with your living room as well, but the bedroom simply gives the two of you more space and a comfier setting.
He’d never say no to taking you back to his room (let’s just say he has a private room, ok?), but prefers your place, because there he feels completely off duty and there his brothers or general won’t interrupt whatever you get up to.
M = Motivation (What turns them on? What gets them going?)
Quite a few things, actually. Let’s just make a list, shall we?
Since he loves your lips seeing you wearing a new or bright shade of lipstick, using a straw, licking or biting your lips or anything else that draws attention to your lips has him hooked.
Catching a glimpse at hickies he left on you just make him want to do it (and you) all over again.
Soft kisses to his collarbone or the place where his neck meets his shoulder always leave him wanting more.
Seeing you in either lingerie or his blacks usually has him half hard from the sight alone.
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
While he loves leaving hickies everywhere, Wolffe would never leave any other kind of mark on you. He might be projecting a bit, but he remembers the pain when he lost his eye and got his scar, and is sometimes still self conscious about it, so he would hate leaving even the slightest scratch or bite mark.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skills, etc)
Wolffe enjoys both giving and receiving, but gun to his head he would have to say he prefers receiving. Not only because he gets to see your lips, swollen from kissing and him biting them, wrapped around his cock, but also because he gets to lick the last drops of his cum off your lips and taste himself on your tongue.
But when it comes to giving he is so skilled, it’s ridiculous. If asked you’d say he is even better with his tongue and fingers than he is with his dick.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc)
His life is hectic, so when the two of you have time he tries his best to make use of that time with soft and slow love making. Wolffe enjoys touching and kissing every part of your body, teasing you and committing every part of you to memory for when you have to part ways again.
Some days, though, when he is especially stressed or needy or you have been teasing him a bit too much, Wolffe wastes no time getting both himself and you off.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc)
He’s not a big fan, but sometimes there is just no other way. Maybe you have been teasing him too much, maybe you haven’t gotten alone time for a while, maybe he just needs to know that you’re there and you’re his for a moment.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc)
Here we need to differentiate: While Wolffe is down to experimenting and finding new ways to pleasure you (and for you to find new ways to pleasure him), but he’s not a risk taker. Anything that might get you hurt or end up in the two of you getting caught in the act is off the table.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last)
Not exceptional, but not disappointing either. He can usually go for two, maybe three, rounds in a row, and know how to make them last. If you’re planning on a long night however, he’ll have to take some breaks, during which he’ll put his hands and tongue to good use, so you’re not complaining.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner of themselves?)
He’s not a fan, but not opposed either.
So far you haven’t used any toys in your love making, but he knows you use them when he’s not around, which makes him kinda curious. He won’t bring the topic up unless you do though, and that has nothing to do with the fact that he might be a slight bit scared, nothing at all.
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
Wolffe never teases you in public, but once the two of you are behind closed doors he constantly has his hands on you, sometimes he just wants to cuddle, but sometimes he wants to get you riled up. Maybe he whispers something in your ear, his husky voice making even the most innocent words sound dirty, maybe he lets his hands roam your body and squeeze your boobs or thighs, maybe he even slips his hand inside your trousers, whatever he chooses to do that day, you know you’ll end up in the bedroom.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc)
While he’s usually pretty quiet he lets out soft whimpers whenever you hit a sweet spot. And on the rare occasion that he is frustrated, either because you won’t do as he says or you won’t let him do what he wants, he actually growls, much like the animal he named himself after.
W = Wild card (Random headcanon for the character)
Wolffe is usually a dom, but on the rare occasion the two of you decide to switch it up he’s the whiniest, most impatient sub there is. Since he usually cannot refuse any orders in his day to day life he loves disobeying you to the point where it can be frustrating and you’re close to giving up and letting him take over. He won’t let it go that far, however, because even though he’d never admit it (at least not while sober) he loves it when you take control and do as you please.
X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s a soldier, so he’s strong and muscular.
Down there Wolffe is long, but not exactly longer than average. He is quite thick though, so when he’s inside you he really stretches you out.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Wolffe’s sex drive is not crazy high, which he is glad of since there’s a war going on and you can’t just jump at each other whenever one of you feels like it. But there are a few rare days when he feels like he’d go crazy if he can’t have you right that moment.
-------
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
No matter how tired Wolffe is, he always makes sure you’re alright before he even thinks about sleeping. Once you are taken care of, and preferably laying in his arms, however, he falls right asleep. Wolffe doesn’t get much sleep and he never sleeps better than with you in his arms.
I’ve wanted to write an NSFW alphabet for quite a while now, because I feel like it’s a good entry point to writing smut, but most of the characters I wanted to write for already have hundreds of these, so when I couldn’t find one for Wolffe I knew my time had come.
As I said, this is my first time writing smut and also my first time writing for Wolffe, so please excuse any mistakes.
Summary: You get to know your husband, Duke Palpatine, and quickly realize what you will be missing in your marriage. Can Captain Rex make you feel better?
Warnings: Mentions of smut (maybe slight smut, I don’t really know, sex is not forced on the reader but expected of her and therefore might be triggering to some, but no detailed descriptions)
Previous Part, Masterlist
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The next few days passed you by in a heartbeat. You spend most of your time getting acquainted with your new home, which wasn’t as easy as it sounded. In addition to the main house there was the orangerie, a small tea parlor in the park and two different gardens just for afternoon strolls. And of course the stables, houses for servants, barracks for the guards and so many other building you didn’t even try to remember.
“You really are lucky”, your mother sighed with a content smile.
The two of you were strolling through the rose garden behind the house, the smaller of the two gardens. It was beautiful, everything was well kept and every flower had its place, but every time you were here you felt out of place. Confined to your life, trapped like the birds that Padmé had told you your husband insisted to keep locked in cages in the garden.
“I will be sad to leave you, but I really do need to get back to your father and brother. Now that you’re happily married it’s Edward’s turn and finding him a wife will be a lot more challenging than finding you a husband, you know how stubborn he can be.”
Though you tried you couldn’t really listen to your mother. All she talked about was how lucky you were to be married to the Duke, how happy she was for you and how excited you must be to see your husband again tomorrow.
You let your gaze sweep through the garden until it halted at General Skywalker. The General had been following whenever you set foot outside the house, and even inside he was never far. The first time you met he had told you that those were your husband’s wishes, that he was only there to keep you safe, but part of you feared he might be reporting your every move back to the Duke. Even the smile the General send you could not easy your suspicions.
“Are you even listening to me?”
Finally your mother’s word rang through to you.
“I’m sorry. I’m just... lost in my thoughts...”
Your mother put a reassuring hand on your arm. You leaned into the familiar touch, a small piece of home in this strange new place.
“Are you thinking of your husband? Do you miss him very much?”
Sometimes you were sure your mother had to be joking. She must realize that you didn’t love, didn’t even like, Palpatine. And it wasn’t just the age difference, which in itself made every interaction with him awkward, he was just so cold. It was obvious he cared as little for you as you did for him and that might have been what bothered you most. You had been more or less forced to marry him, for his money, his title and because no one else had asked to marry you, but he could have had anyone. Half the girls in the country would have married him in an instant, so why did he choose someone he didn’t have any feelings for? Why did he waste his one chance at happiness and propose to you?
“I... I was just thinking that our marriage might not be as it should. We’re nothing like you and father”, you finally said, hoping this would both voice your concerns and not be too obvious about them. But your mother just laughed.
“Darling, that is normal. Relationships take time and work, your father and I didn’t instantly fall in love, but when you’re raising a family together and spending your lives together love will come. And you are so easy to love, it will be alright.”
You should have known your mother would not understand your concerns, she had never shared your dreams of marrying for love, of being swept off your feet in a fairytale like romance. Before you could pretend to agree with her, however, you were interrupted.
Obi-Wan came to a halt before you. He inclined his head in a small bow before addressing you and your mother.
“Your Grace, my lady, the Duke has returned and wishes to see you.”
At first you thought, though you knew it was wishful thinking, that he was talking about another Duke. Maybe one of your husband’s friends had come to visit and wanted to meet you for the first time. But you knew you would have had to face Palpatine, even if he was a day early.
“Thank you, Kenobi. Thought I would like to change before greeting my husband. If you would be so kind as to send Padmé up to my room.
The butler nodded.
“Certainly, my lady.”
-------
-------
Half an hour later you were sitting in the drawing room with your husband.
“I take it the house is to your liking”, he said.
Those were the first words either of you had spoken since your “Good afternoon” ten minutes earlier.
You sat your cup down on the saucer and smiled at him. A smile you hoped seemed happy and sincere.
“Very much, thank you.”
Silence took hold of you again. You refrained from playing with your spoon or the hem of your dress, two of your nervous habits your mother had told you a thousand times to drop.
You looked around the beautiful room. The curtains were moving ever so slightly in the wind that came through the open windows, one of your husband’s ancestors was staring at you from the huge portray above the fire place, his eyes seemed to follow your every move.
“I will only be here one night. Urgent business calls me away my estate in Naboo tomorrow, technically I should not even be spending the night and go there right away, but I suppose we should get to work.”
You turned away from the picture to look at the Duke. He was staring at you with an unreadable expression in his cold eyes, so cold and calculating, they almost made you shiver.
“I’m not sure I understand”, you said, hating how weak and uncertain you sounded. “What ‘work’ are you referring to?”
For a moment your husband’s masked moved as he looked at you in shock. You hated how he could make you feel dumb and inferior without saying a single word, but you knew it was not your place to say anything about that.
“I am of course talking about producing an heir.”
Now you couldn’t stop the shiver. You knew you had to give your husband an heir, multiple if possible, but part of you had hoped he would forget all about that part of your marriage after your wedding night. But you knew your duty and you had heard more than enough stories about women who refused their husbands, or even had lovers, and the terrible things that happened to them and no matter how much you didn’t want to, you would rather get it over with than suffer the same fate.
“Yes, I... of course. I am looking forward to it.”
Another cold glance from Palpatine and the very forced smile fell from your lips.
“It is not for you to look forward to or to enjoy, it’s is your duty.”
All you managed to do was nod. What else were you supposed to do? Where you supposed to answer anything?
Palpatine seemed content with your reaction though. He placed his tea on the small table between you and got up.
“One more thing”, he said as he reached the door. “I will be taking General Skywalker with me from now on, there were some... disputes the last couple of days and I will be needing more protection. Captain Rex will be your personal guard from now on.”
Without so much as a goodbye he left the drawing room and closed the door behind him.
With a loud sigh you leaned back on the couch, ignoring where your corset dug into your ribs uncomfortably. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths.
“It’s just one night, he’ll be gone again tomorrow”, you whispered, knowing that it might just be one night this time, but that your husband would always come back for more and there was nothing you could to to stop him.
“My lady, are you alright?”
You hadn’t heard anyone entering the room, but even without looking you recognized the familiar voice. Though the words were professional, the tone made it clear that Rex wasn’t just asking because it was expected of him, he really cared, at least to some degree.
You opened your eyes to find his own focused on your face, an uncertain look in them, as if he wanted to step closer but didn’t dare to.
“No”, you whispered.
Abruptly you sat up straight again. Panic flooded through your veins. You were supposed to say “I’m fine”, not tell anyone, especially a guard, a servant, that you were not alright.
“Is there something I can do?”
Now the Captain really did take a step towards you. He wasn’t close exactly, definitely not as close has he had been that night in the kitchen, but you could have sworn you could see the different shades of brown in his eyes and smell a mixture of leather, horses and something you could only describe as sunshine.
You shook your head. There was nothing he, or anyone, could do. You had gotten yourself into this situation, and not just the having to sleep with the Duke part, but the whole entire marriage. Though it had been expected of you, you could have declined his offer. Your mother would have been disappointed, your father mad, but they would have come to accept your choice.
After taking another deep breath you decided it was time to get up. But for some reason even something as simple as standing seemed like an impossible deed right now. The Captain instantly noticed your struggle. He stepped even closer, close enough for you to take his hand when he offered it to help you up.
His skin was rough, making it obvious you were holding the hand of a guard, someone who saddled horses and shot guns all day, but that roughness felt realer than any of the soft fabrics you had touched all your life.
You knew you should let go the moment you were on your feet, you knew what this would look like should anyone walk in on you, but your thumb seemed to have a mind of its own when it started softly stroking the Captain’s hand.
He let out a sound that was something between a sigh and a growl while tensing and relaxing within a single second. At first you feared you had overstepped a boundary, a personal that is, because this was without question overstepping any professional boundaries. Your eyes had been focused on your hands, but you slowly lifted them to meet his gaze. The Captain’s eyes were darker than they had been just moments before, but there was an warmth in them you had not seen before.
“You know”, you whispered in a soft voice as not to interrupt the moment. “I feel better already.”
And you really did. The guard’s touch and the warmth in his eyes made you feel more comfortable, more relaxed, than you had been for days.
He opened his mouth, closed it again and then cleared his throat. His voice was deeper than it had been moments before and it made your body tense in unfamiliar places.
“I’m glad.”
It seemed as if he wanted to add something when the door burst open.
“There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Skywalker needs your help, he lost something and keeps mumbling about how you’re his only hope”, the intruder, another guard you recognized as Rex’s brother Fives, exclaimed.
You hadn’t noticed the Captain had let go of your hand until he took a step back. His cheeks were slightly darker than they had been before, but his expression hasn’t changed.
It was only then, when the blonde moved away from you, that his brother realized you were even in the room. He shot the Captain a look you could not read, no matter how much you wanted to, before bowing slightly.
“Your Grace, I did not see you there.”
A soft laugh found its way out of you. You couldn’t help but instantly like Fives. He was more relaxed than his brother, though they shared a light in their eyes that told you how much alike they could be.
“It’s alright, Fives.”
The guard’s eyes widened in shock.
“You know my name?”
“Your brother told you a bit about you, about your other brothers as well. I myself am very close to my older brother Edward, so... Sorry, I... I should probably stop talking.”
The times your mother had told you not to discuss family with anyone, especially servants, came to your mind and after already breaking protocol with the Captain earlier you though it best to be quiet.
Fives didn’t seem to notice your awkwardness as his eyes moved between you and his brother, which you, on the other hand, didn’t notice.
“We should get to General Skywalker then”, the Captain finally said, interrupting the silence.
With a nod, a “Good day, my lady” and a bow Fives left the room. His brother followed, but turned around to face you once more.
“I hope you’ll feel better soon”, he said with a smile. A smile that told you that he didn’t regret what had happened between the two of you earlier.
You knew you shouldn’t, but you felt the same and tried to show it in your next words.
“Thank you, Rex.”
This time he heard you calling him by his name, the most beautiful sound he had heard in his life. But instead of closing the distance between you again, to touch your hand one last time before returning to his duty, he just bowed and hurried to leave the room.
-------
That evening dinner was a quiet affair. Your husband barely talked, even though your mother tried her best to strike up a conversation. But the hardest part came after the meal when you had to say goodbye to your mother, who would be leaving early the next morning.
“I will miss you so much, my darling. But you will be just fine, I know it. You’re going to be a great duchess and a good wife.”
Your mother had tears streaming down her cheeks as she said this. She had the same proud look in her eyes as she did when you had accepted the Duke’s proposal and when you had exchanged your vows, after all, having your daughter marry a rich duke was every mother’s dream and her’s had come true.
You told her that you would miss her as well, to give your love to your father and brother and that you would write as much as possible and then, after tearful hugs and kisses, your mother was gone and you were all alone.
With tears still drying on your cheeks you sat at your vanity table and stared at your reflection. In the few days since the wedding you seemed to have aged a lot, not in the positive maturing sense either, you simply looked exhausted. Dark bags were under your red eyes, the colour has left your skin and even your hair seemed lifeless.
“Pinching your cheeks should help”, Padmé offered as she stepped into the room.
You turned around to face your maid. She was holding a candle in one hand and a piece of cloth in the other. Before stepping closer to you she laid the cloth down on the foot of the bed.
“I have brought you a nightdress your husband wants you to wear.”
The look in her eyes spoke of sympathy and pity and even though you knew she was being kind you resented her for it. If Padmé ever got married she could choose her husband, choose someone she loved and who loved her and not marry a cold old man because it was expected of her.
“Is there”, Padmé started but hesitated to continue. Only when you looked at her and nodded did she speak again. “Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable tonight?”
You took a moment to think about it but ended up deciding that there really wasn’t. You had already downed more wine than usually at dinner and it had done nothing to calm your nerves and in the end you decided that you would rather be fully present for what was about to happen than give your husband the opportunity to do whatever he wanted without resistance.
“Thank you, but I think I’ll manage.”
Call it women’s intuition, but both you could tell that Padmé didn’t really believe you.
“Forgive me for speaking so boldly, but if you ever want to talk about what happens in the bedroom between husband and wife, or anything else for that matter, I am here for you.”
In that moment you realized that just because your mother had left didn’t mean that you were alone. Yes, Padmé was your servant, but you knew other girls who were good friends with their lady’s maids, so why shouldn’t she be your friend as well as your servant?
“Thank you very much for the offer, but I doubt there is anything you know that I don’t. After all, you’re not married.”
She raised an eyebrow and seemed to consider something before ultimately shaking her head.
“I’m not”, she said in a tone that made you question whether there was someone who held a special place in her heart. “But I have heard that some women think of other men when in bed with their husbands.”
For some reason you didn’t want to investigate any further Captain Rex popped into your head. The feel of his rough hands against your soft ones, the warmth in his gaze, the sound of his voice and laugh. You quickly shook your head, both to get rid off the thoughts and to hide the colour rising to your cheeks from Padmé. Fortunately your maid knew not to press the issue any further.
“Should I help you change into your nightdress?”
-------
You supposed you should consider yourself lucky that your husband seemed to be in a hurry to get his visit to your bedroom over with. He was in and out of your room within minutes. The time he was with you, and inside you, still felt like hours rather than minutes. The entire time your husband didn’t speak a word, not even a “good night” when he left again and if it hadn’t been for the noises he made you would have thought it was just as much of a duty for him as it was for you, but your mother had told you enough for you to know that the noises meant he was enjoying himself.
As soon as you heard the door from your sitting room to the corridor close you hurried off the bed and to your bathroom. Padmé, as if she’d know you would need it, had left a second bowl of water and piece of cloth next to the one you used to wash yourself in the morning. You tried to clean your nether regions as best as you could before returning to the bedroom, where you covered as much of the bed as possible with the two clean towels you had brought from the bathroom.
Though you didn’t feel as clean as you would have liked it would have to do for now and it didn’t take as much tossing and turning for you to fall asleep as you had anticipated.
-------
The next morning Rex didn’t see you until a few hours after Palpatine had left. He had asked Echo to stay with you while he arranged for the General’s absence, but around midday he finally managed to relief his brother and take on his duty of watching over you.
You were seated on a small chaise in the rose garden and Rex tried not to stare at how the sun shone on your hair and made your skin glow. Your eyes were closed and he couldn’t tell whether you were sleeping or simply relaxing, all he knew was that you looked more peaceful than you had the day before.
“What were you doing all day? I thought you were supposed to always be with me”, you asked.
Rex didn’t know how you could tell it was him standing in the shade of the cherry tree and no longer Echo since your eyes were still closed. For a moment he entertained the thought that you could sense him as much as he could sense you, but he banned that idea from his head almost as soon as it appeared. You had probably just opened your eyes for a split second and seen him, that had to be it.
“I had to sort through the General’s notes for training and timetables to keep everything running smooth while he is gone, that took a while.”
You hummed in acknowledgement. Finally you looked at him. He felt as if your eyes could look straight through cloth, flesh and muscle to into his soul, and find something growing there you were never supposed to see.
“I’m glad you’re here now, Captain.”
The almost teasing way in which you pronounced his rank reminded him of how you had said his name the day before. He had heard beautiful instruments, stunning voices and the exoctic birds the Duke kept around the gardens, but nothing compared to how you said his name. To him it no longer sounded like a name, but a beautiful song, something to cherish, to think of before falling asleep at night and to haunt one’s dreams.
Though Rex wasn’t what you would call shy, he was very reserved, especially when dealing with his employer, so he did nothing but nod at your comment and then stare straight ahead. He had already allowed himself too many liberties with you and now, as your personal guard, he had to remain professional, or else risk losing everything.
You, however, did not seem to get his subtle hint, because you just kept talking.
“I must admit, I much prefer the other garden, what was it called again? The rose garden is beautiful and everything, but it’s just a little too close to the house, I much prefer something more private. But it is too hot to take a single step more than necessary. I really don’t know how you manage in your uniform, you must be melting. Though, if you want, you could take off your jacket. Only if you want, maybe you’re cold, maybe it’s just me who cannot take this heat, but if you want to -”, you stopped your rambling mid sentence.
Rex risked a short glance at you. Your face was red, as was your neck, and a single drop of sweat was running down your temple to your neck and even further down towards an area he would not risk looking at.
“I’m sorry”, you said after a bit of silence. “I often find I cannot stop talking when I’m nervous.”
He tried, he really tried, not to show his surprise, but his eyebrows seemed to have a will of their own when they lifted in confusion. Though Rex managed not to look at you when he spoke, a small victory.
“What do you have to be nervous about, my lady?”
Part of Rex knew that this conversation could go in a direction it shouldn’t, meaning anything other than the most basic small talk, but another, larger, illogical part, wanted you to keep talking and to listen to every single word you said.
Your shadow and your footsteps on the gravel told Rex that you were coming closer. Still he did not turn around to face you, not even when you stopped and stood next to him, close enough that he could touch you if only he moved a few centimeters.
“Everything, to be honest. And nothing at the same time. I am married, living in a big house and should be the happiest girl alive, but it’s just not what I imagined. I feel so out of place, event though this is my home now, and my husband -”
Rex felt you taking a deep breath rather than hearing it, your whole body relaxed after your exhale.
“I guess I should stop talking now. After all, my husband is your employer and the only person who should talk about him even less than me, is you.”
It was your resigned tone that finally made Rex turn to face you. Your blush was gone, instead you had gone quite pale. Only your bright eyes and your lips, the bottom of which you were currently biting, gave your face pops of colour.
“Did he hurt you?”, Rex asked against his better knowledge. Yes, he was supposed to protect you, but that protection did not extend to the Duke, who, as your husband, was legally allowed to do with you whatever he wanted.
You hesitated for a fraction of a moment before shaking your head.
“No, he didn’t. It’s just... My marriage simply isn’t what I had been expecting.”
Both relief and sadness flooded through Rex. Of course he was glad the Duke hadn’t laid his hands on you, but his heart was also breaking for you.
“I suppose I was simply holding out hope for a knight in shining armor for so long that even now I can’t get rid of the idea. But that’s on me for reading too many books and wishing for a fairytale.”
A twinkle was back in your eyes. Maybe, Rex thought, you were thinking of your childhood dreams or even a childhood love. And though he didn’t like the thought of that, a feeling he shoved down as deep as possible, he was glad to see some of your sadness gone.
“I’ve heard of other women who gain their happiness through their children instead of their husbands”, he said in a low voice. It was something he had seen with his mother, who gave all her love and care to him and his brothers and didn’t seem to have much for her husband.
“Children...”, you stepped closer to Rex after whispering the word. Your (y/e/c) eyes settled on his honey coloured ones. “That’s the whole reason the Duke even married me, to give him an heir. I guess that really is all I’m good for.”
Rex’s eyes widened in shock. Did you really think that? Did you not see that there could be so much more to your life?
“I am sorry, my lady, but I disagree. There is so much more to you than the ability give the Duke an heir. You have your whole life ahead of you and-”
Suddenly Rex noticed the way your eyes hung on his lips, the astounded expression on your face.
“I... I’m sorry, it’s not my place to say such things.”
One second you just stared at Rex, the next you reached out and held his hand in yours. A soft smile was on your face and just like that all his worries of getting scolded disappeared and were replaced by a feeling of content and warmth spreading from his hand all the way to his heart.
“Thank you, Rex”, you said, your voice soft and sincere. “No one has ever said anything like that to me. You’re a kind man.”
Rex had gotten compliments before, from his mother, his brothers and his General, but never had they meant as much as the four simple words coming out your mouth. He could have sworn his heart stopped at the combination of your smile, your touch and your words. You were giving him so much by simply being with him and he knew, deep down, that nothing he could say would ever repay you for the way he felt in that moment.
I finally managed to continue this story. Sorry it took so long, but I wanted to take my time to do this right and with uni starting again time is something I don’t have a lot of recently.
But a huge thank you to everyone who read and commented on the first part! It really means a lot, even though I haven’t figured out how to reply to you using this blog I have read the comments and they warmed my heart. I hope you’ll enjoy this part as much as the first one and are looking forward to part three.
Summary: You are in love with your best friend Poe, your best friend Poe is in love with you. Is there a chance for you love even though you realize it at different times?
Warnings: Angst, might differ from canon (is there even a canon for what happened after ROS?)
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It retrospect you should have known it was a bad idea. You knew Poe like the back of your hand, you should have anticipated his reaction. But he was leaving for a dangerous mission to Jakku the next day and you couldn’t bare the thought of never telling him how you felt. So you gathered all your courage and did it.
“Poe?”, you started.
The pilot, who was laying on his bed next to you, turned his eyes away from his datapad to face you.
“What is it, honey?”
The way he looked at you made your heartbeat quicken and your hands clammy. Even though he was tired, had dark rings under his eyes and his hair hadn’t seen a brush in weeks, he was the most handsome man you had seen in your life. Part of you knew that he had no reason to return your feelings, he could have anyone he wanted and more often than not invited various people to his room after a night of celebration while you prefered to stay in your quarters altogether.
“I love you.”
The words rolled off your tongue as if you’d said them a thousand times before. You and Poe had never shied away from showing or voicing your affection for the other, not when you were kids on Yavin IV, not in the academy and not when you joined the resistance. But this time you tried your best to convey the word’s true meaning, to make him realize what you yourself had realized years ago, that there was no one else for you, that Poe was not your best friend, he was your soulmate, the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.
The man in question let go of his datapad to capture your hands in his. Gently he stroked your knuckles before pressing a soft kiss to them.
“I love you too.”
The way he said it made it obvious to you what he meant. You’re my best friend and I love you. Not You’re the one I have fallen for and I love you.
You shook your head. When you thought back to that day this was the moment you wanted to erase, the one you wished had never happened.
“No, Poe. I am in love with you.”
If he noticed the tremble in your voice he didn’t comment on it. Instead, fast as lightning, Poe sat up straight and looked at you, really looked at you.
“What?”
By now you knew that you had screwed up, but his reaction told you that he had understood you perfectly. It was disbelief that made him ask that question and you had no other choice than to repeat yourself.
“I am in love with you, Poe.”
His eyes darkened. You were looking for anger in them, maybe frustration, but all you found was fear and... regret?
“How can you say that? You’re my best friend, how can you say that you’re in love with me?”
You opened your mouth and closed it again. Poe knew, he had to know, that at least half of the Resistance had a crush on him, so why did it come as a surprise that the same went for his best friend, the one he spent more time with than anyone else?
“I... I just needed to tell you before tomorrow. You know how dangerous this mission is going to be and if anything were to happen I want to to know how loved you are.”
Finally Poe let go of your hands. He ran a hand through his dark curls, again and again. It was a nervous habit he had picked up from his father when he was a kid and usually you found it endearing, but today it only made you feel worse.
“Just forget it. Please. Let’s just watch a holovid or something and forget I ever said anything”, you begged. Tears were shining in your eyes and when the first rolled down Poe, his fingers gentle as ever, brushed it away.
“I think I’d rather go over the mission plan again”, he smiled at you and anyone who wasn’t his best friend might have found that smile convincing, but you knew better. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, alright?”
You didn’t know what to say, so you just nodded. Of course you would see him off before his big mission, you always did. Just as you always spend the evening before the mission together, usually sleeping in the same bed, holding each other close in case... just in case. It had been things like that that had made you think that there was a chance that Poe felt the same way. The secret smiles he sent you, the small touches whenever you were within reach, the way he made it obvious to you that you came first, sometimes even before the Resistance.
Without another word Poe hurried out of your room. It wasn’t until the door closed behind him and you heard a soft beep that you realized he had been in such a hurry to get away from you that he had forgotten to take BB8 with him.
“You wanna go after him?”
Tears were now flowing from your eyes and there was a hiccup in your voice, which was surely the reason the droid decided to keep you company for a little while longer.
-------
The next day Poe had already left when you arrived at the hanger, even though you were earlier than the agreed upon time.
When he returned you ran up to him. You had thought he was dead and even if he didn’t return your feelings, he was still your best friend. At least that’s what you thought.
You tried your best to hate Finn, but you just couldn’t. Yes, Poe had pretty much chosen him as his new best friend, but he was just so nice and kind and considerate, you couldn’t hate him. Besides, it was not Finn’s fault that you had been replaced. The first couple of month you blamed yourself., You shouldn’t have told Poe that you loved him, if you hadn’t nothing would have changed. Then you blamed Poe. You had never demanded that he loved you back, but you had been friends since before you could talk, how could he just throw all those years away? How could he refuse even your most innocent, most desperate, attempts at conversation?
No matter how mad you were at Poe, your love for him was unchanged. You saw him every day and he was as kind and brave and funny and handsome as ever, all the reasons you had fallen for him in the first place were still there.
Of course you were glad when the war ended and the First Order was defeated for all the right reasons, but part of you was glad you could leave the Resistance. They no longer needed you now that it was time to rebuild instead of fight.
If all your hope of Poe ever loving you hadn’t died long ago it might have rekindled when you said goodbye.
For the first time in forever he took time to actually talk to you. And though his hug seemed as warm and sincere as ever, you couldn’t believe his words.
“I’m sad to see you go, but I’ll visit soon.”
Of course you nodded, of course you hugged him back, but part of you know just how hollow his words really were. They had to be.
-------
Poe felt bad for how long it had been since he last visited his father. Though Kes never complained, Poe knew the old man missed his son and wanted to see him more often. But there was just so much to do, so whenever he did visit it was usually spontaneous and never for more than a couple of hours.
He opened the front door, not bothering to knock. This was his home after all, even if he rarely ever visited.
The smells that greeted Poe were familiar; his mum’s favourite flowers that his dad always kept someone in the house, a freshly brewed cup of tea and something that smelled like a distant childhood memory.
Even though it should have been impossible, the sound he heard as soon as he stepped through the door was even more familiar. It send sparks flying through his body and made a grin spread on his face. Quickly he put a finger to his lips to tell BB8 next to him to be quiet.
It had been so long since he last heard your laughter. Sometimes at night he heard it in his dreams, saw your face along with his mum’s. The two women he loved more than anything, the two women he lost. Shara’s death hadn’t been his fault, but not a day went by that Poe didn’t blame himself for letting you go.
He had been too focused on the war, on saving people and making a better future to realize that the reason he fought, the person he wanted to spend his future with had been right beside him all along. He didn’t know why he hadn’t realized it when you told him that you loved him, why it had taken not having you in his life to come to the realization that he wanted you in his life, more than anything. And perhaps this was his chance.
He tried to be as quiet as possible on his way to the living room, but as soon as he entered both you and Kes turned around.
His father was the first to get up and envelop Poe in a hug.
“What a surprise. How are you? You must be hungry, can I get you anything?”
Poe declined the offer. Even if he had been hungry, his nerves wouldn’t have allowed him to swallow a single bite. He felt bad for basically ignoring his father, but how could he not when you were standing right there?
“(Y/N), it’s... You look...”
Beautiful wasn’t enough to describe you. Even covered in grease and sweat with only a couple hours of sleep you had been pretty, but now you had no circles under your eyes, your hair was shiny and looked just so soft and there was an aura around you that could only be described as peace and happiness. And though Poe was glad you seemed happy, it did sting a bit that you were so happy without him.
“It’s been a while”, you smiled. If Poe hadn’t been in love with you before that smile would have made him fall for you. In retrospect he had no idea how he had gone most of his life without being in love with you.
“I’ll let the two of you catch up. I should get to the kitchen anyway, Oscar should be here soon”, Kes declared and with an affectionate pad on his son’s shoulder he left the room.
Poe was so busy staring at you that it took him a while to process his dad’s words.
“Who is Oscar?”
The soft smile on your face grew bigger than Poe had ever seen it and a spark took hold of your eyes. He couldn’t categorize that expression, but he knew that he wanted to see it every day for the rest of his life.
He only realized that he had gotten closer to you when he suddenly felt your body heat. He hadn’t meant to, but something about you pulled him in like a magnet. He reached out a hand to push a strand of hair behind your ear, but the second he heard your word’s the hand fell.
“My husband.”
“Your... your... you’re married?”
Thoughts were chasing in Poe’s head. How could he not have known that you were married? How could you marry someone else when he was so in love with you?
Instead of an answer you simply raised your hand. There was a ring where, in his dreams, Poe had seen his mother’s ring countless times. It was fairly simple, and yet it seemed expensive. More expensive than anything Poe could ever have given you.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”, he finally asked after moments of silence.
You shrugged, a gesture that was so achingly familiar that it took Poe’s breath away.
“We weren’t really talking anymore.”
Of course you were right. Ever since you left the Resistance the two of you hadn’t spoken. Poe knew it was selfish of him to expect that you should have told him, should have invited him so he could have stopped the love of his life from marrying someone else.
“Oh...”, was all he was able to say.
He should have know that you wouldn’t be in love with him forever, but it hurt even more learning that you were married the day he had planned on telling you that he was in love with you. It had taken Finn and Rey months of trying to convince him to just tell you, after all you lived on Yavin IV, so it’s not like he had to see you every day if you didn’t return his feelings, he could have just left and tried to move on. Maybe, he thought, that was the very reason you had moved on, because you never saw Poe anymore. If only he had visited you as well as his dad, if only he had begged you to stay when you decided to leave, if only he had realized how he felt when you confessed your love.
“Your dad invited us to dinner, so you’ll meet Oscar when he arrives in half an hour. He’s still at work right now, but-”
“I can’t stay”, Poe cut you off. It hurt knowing that you were married and seeing your love for your husband in your eyes, but Poe knew that seeing the two of you together would break him.
“Another time then”, you said with a soft smile. A smile Poe just wanted to kiss off your lips but never could.
When you hugged him goodbye he breathed in your familiar smell, but underneath that there was a slight hint of a cologne that must be your husband’s. In a single second memories rushed through Poe’s brain.
You wearing his shirt and laughing.
You falling asleep in his arms.
You hugging Shara and Kes before the two of you left for the academy.
And the image that haunted his dreams of you with a baby in your arm, BB8 at your feet and Shara’s ring on your finger.
Poe didn’t know how you had managed to survive after he had rejected you because he felt like he was drowning.
He barely heard his father’s soft “I’m so sorry, son” or your “We’ll need to catch up soon”.
It wasn’t until he was in hyperspace that tears starting rolling down his cheeks and neither the stars flying by nor BB8′s comforting beeps could make him feel better.
At least you were happy, that was the only thought that brought him any comfort.
-------
Once again I should just finish my other stories before writing a new one, but this idea was just begging to be written.
I might write a second part, if anyone would want to read it, though I’m not sure yet.
Also please excuse that I couldn’t come up with a better name for the husband, but I guess the reader just has a type.
Summary: You were tired of denying the assumption that you were dating your best friend, so you finally gave up. But what happens when Poe finds out that you’re supposedly dating?
Warnings: Maybe a slight bit of angst, but mostly fluff
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Though you couldn’t see him you knew it was Poe who was standing behind you. It wasn’t the familiar smell of grease and rain and something you could only describe as Poe that gave him away, nor was it the sound of a suppressed laugh, it was the way you felt. His presence made you feel like no one else’s, safe, happy, loved. Poe felt like home.
“Good morning, sweetheart”, he whispered in your ear before he wrapped his arms around you. You leaned back into his embrace until your back hit is chest and just a little further.
“Morning, handsome”, you replied, which earned you a soft kiss on your cheek. You hummed in content as you felt the contrast of soft lips and rough stubble on your skin.
“The two of you are sickeningly sweet, did anyone ever tell you that?”, Rey, who you had been talking to before Poe turned up, asked. Poe, whose nose was now buried in the crook of your neck, simply nodded.
You had actually heard it quite often, from friends and strangers alike. Usually the statement was followed by the question how long the two of you had been together, which was usually the moment your smile dropped. Because you weren’t together, you and Poe were simply friends. Affectionate friends, but that was just because you knew each other all your lives, you had grown up together after all.
“I need to go, I’m late for a meeting with Leia”, Poe whispered against your neck. You turned around in his embrace, causing your faces to be closer together than they usually were. A blush crept up your neck and you hoped that, due to the close proximity, Poe wouldn’t notice it.
“Then why did you even come here?”
You felt him shrug rather than actually seeing it.
“I wanted to see you”, he simply said.
Before you could reply, or even properly process what he’d said, Poe pressed another kiss to your cheek and left.
Slowly you turned back to face Rey, who had an amused look on her face, an all too familiar look. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, but no words came out.
“I know I’ve told you before, but you can talk to me”, she said. “How long have you been dating?”
A groan escaped you before you could stop it.
“I know I’ve told you before”, you mimicked her words. “But we’re just friends.”
“I know I’ve told you before”, Rey grinned. “Just friends don’t hug and kiss like that, just friends don’t tell go out of their way to see each other for just a few seconds and just friends don’t look at each other like that.”
You loved Rey, you really did, but she couldn’t keep a secret to save her life, so you couldn’t tell her what was running through your head, through your heart, at her words. Yes, Poe was an affectionate guy in general, and yes, he was especially affectionate with his best friend, but you weren’t like that. Sure, you hugged your friends, you sometimes even kissed your friends on the cheek like Poe did, but you didn’t mean it like you did with Poe. You loved your friends, but you didn’t love them like Poe. It had taken you years of failed relationships and denying to come to terms with the fact that you were in love with your best friend.
-------
“Whatcha got there, buddy?”, Poe asked the little droid, who had a single red flower carefully tied to his antenna.
A couple of beeps and boops told the pilot that it was a gift from his best friend.
“From (Y/N), really?”
He smiled at BB8′s affirmative beep. Carefully he untied the flower and lifted it to his nose. He had no idea what kind it was, but it smelled sweet and fresh and made his heart beat just a little bit faster.
“Either someone is trying to get on your good side or you and (Y/N) finally admitted your feelings.”
At Snap’s comment Poe lifted his head from the flower.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, he said, even though he did. He knew he wore his heart on his sleeve and anyone could probably tell how he felt about you, anyone but you that was.
“I really don’t know what the deal is with the two of you. Are you in a secret relationship or something?”
Maker, Poe really was getting sick of telling people that the two of you were just friends. It’s not that he didn’t love being friends with you, your friendship was sacred, but uttering the those two little words added cracks to his breaking heart every time.
“You know we’re not. We’re -”
“- just friends”, Snap added the familiar words.
Poe twisted the flower in his hand. Maybe one day, after this war is over, he could take you somewhere, maybe back home to Yavin IV and tell you how he really felt.
-------
“Truth or dare?”, Rose asked.
Everyone focused their eyes on Finn.
“Dare?” It was more of a question than a statement, though he really didn’t have anything to fear from Rose, neither her questions nor her dares were ever too harsh.
“I dare you to...”, Rose looked around, clearly trying to come up with something. Finally her eyes landed on a certain golden droid in the distance. “I dare you to ask C3PO to explain to you the different dialects of Huttese in great detail.”
Finn groaned, but he stood up and walked over to the droid regardless.
You took another sip from your glass while you watched. While 3PO seemed enthusiastic Finn’s face was a mixture of forced interest and regret. Next to you you heard Rose laughing.
Finally Finn returned, having finished the first dare of the evening. Everyone in your small group, consisting of Rose, Rey, Snap and Jess clapped.
Just a fraction of a second later he looked straight at you.
“(Y/N), truth or dare?”
“Truth”, you answered without a moment of hesitation.
A smile spread across Finn’s face.
“Are you and Poe a couple?”
Your first instinct was to reply with a sarcastic “a couple of besties”, but you knew that wasn’t the answer everyone was expecting, nor was it the answer they would believe. Ironic how in this case a lie was more believable than the truth.
“Yes.”
The second the word left your lips you regretted it. Maybe the alcohol was to blame, maybe it was the fact that you knew your friends would not believe the true answer, maybe you said it because it was the answer you wanted to be true. No matter what, the others starting cheering and shouting as soon as you said it.
“I knew it!”
“Since when?”
“Finally!”
“About time!”
They were all talking at the same time, making it impossible for you to tell who said what.
“Jess, it’s your turn”, you said in hope of making your friends forget the lie you had just told.
-------
“Poe, I’m glad you’re back”, Finn greeted his friend.
The pilot simply nodded. He had been flying for hours after finishing a tiring mission, and though he was glad to see his friend, all he really wanted was sleep.
“(Y/N) is in some sort of meeting, but it should finish soon.”
At the mention of your name Poe lit up. Up til now he hadn’t even realised how much he had missed you in his short absence.
Finn seemed to notice the change in his behaviour, at least judging by the way he grinned at him.
“I can only imagine how happy they’ll be to have their boyfriend back.”
Poe, who was already on his way to the door, stopped and turned to Finn.
“What did you just say?”
The other man simply smiled.
“You don’t have to pretend anymore, (Y/N) came clean and told us you’re together.”
Poe’s heart stopped before it started beating rapidly. Surely Finn must have misheard something. Maybe he was talking about another (Y/N), or maybe you were dating someone else, though the mere thought seemed like a punch to the gut.
“What?”, the pilot asked again, this time in a hushed voice.
Confusion overtook the happiness on Finn’s face.
“We were playing truth or dare a few days ago, right after you left for your mission, and when I asked if the two of you were dating (Y/N) finally admitted that you are. Though they refused to tell us anything else.”
Now it wasn’t just Finn who was confused. Why would you say that? Did that mean - Poe didn’t even dare to finish the thought. For years you had ignored his flirting, his hugs and kisses and “I love you”s, there was no way you felt the same.
“I have to go”, he whispered, not sure whether Finn actually heard him and, quite honestly, not really caring. He just had to talk to you.
-------
The second the door opened you got up from your spot on the edge of the bed. You had been waiting for Poe to come to his room for almost half an hour and now the moment of truth had come.
Usually you would run up to your best friend and greet him with a hug and a kiss, or he would sweep you off your feet and pull you close, but today the two of you just stared at each other.
“I need to talk to you”, you finally said.
Poe took a step towards you, he was hesitant and you hated the uncertain, almost scared, look on his face.
“Talk.” His voice was lower than usual and he didn’t meet your eyes. Suddenly it dawned on you, he must have already heard what you did and he was mad, disappointed. After all you had been through, this might be the moment your friendship, the most important relationship in your life, was at its end.
“I was asked if we’re dating, yet again, and I was just tired of denying it. No one ever really believes the truth anyway, so I just said we were and I’m so, so sorry.”
Though you had stepped closer to Poe and were now only centimeters apart you didn’t dare to reach out to him.
Poe just nodded. He didn’t say anything, didn’t look at you, didn’t touch you.
“I understand if that makes you uncomfortable and I’ll tell everyone that I was lying. Please forgive me, please don’t be mad.”
You hated the way your voice trembled, hated the fear that Poe might be mad at you, he was never really mad at you. But most of all you hated that even if he forgave you, there now was no way he didn’t know how you felt. And while Poe, who was brave and funny and clever and the handsome, might want to be friends with you, there was no way he’d ever want to be more. Deep down you knew that, but that didn’t make the certain rejection any easier.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of silence, Poe met your gaze.
“What if you don’t?”
Maybe it was due to nerves, but you couldn’t make sense of his words.
“What do you mean?”
You heard Poe taking a deep breath before he stepped closer to you, close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off of him and his breath on your face.
“What if you don’t tell them that we’re not together? What if we ... actually were together.”
His last words were more of a whisper than anything else.
The uncertainty and fear in his expression were replaced by a look you knew all too well, hope.
Slowly, softly you placed one of your hands on his neck and buried the other in the soft locks you had run your hands through so many times.
“If we actually were together I think we’d kiss”, you whispered as you leaned closer.
You didn’t know who closed the small gap, all you knew was that you felt his smile against your lips.
It was a chaste kiss, more of touching of lips than an actual kiss, but it sent of a mixture of fireworks and butterflies in your stomach anyway.
“If we actually were together I would tell you that I love you”, Poe whispered. He leaned his forehead against yours, your noses almost touching.
“I love you too”, you returned the words you had said so many times before, but this time giving them a new meaning.
“You do?”, he asked.
Instead of an answer you pulled him closer until your lips met his in an actual kiss. A kiss that was soft and conveyed years of unspoken feelings, years of missed kisses and a promise of the years to come.
-------
“What do you mean they only just confessed their feelings?”, Rey asked BB8 in a shocked tone.
The little droid repeated his previous beeps.
“I’ve got to tell Finn!”, she exclaimed before jumping from her chair and hurrying out of the room, BB8 right behind her.
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This just popped into my head and even though I have more than enough to do with my uni work (and the other imagines I am working on) I just had to write it down.
Please excuse any mistakes, it’s almost midnight and I have more coffee in my body than water.
Summary: Regency AU! Marrying Duke Palpatine was not your idea of a perfect marriage, but meeting a certain Captain in his personal guard might make up for it.
Warnings: This is in no way historically accurate and the names I came up with are truly terrible, mentions of sex
Check out my other works: Masterlist
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Of course you had always known you’d one day have to marry a man your parents chose for you. And yet you couldn’t stop hoping and wishing that you wold marry a handsome, kind man, maybe even someone close to your own age instead of the older men your friends were married off to. But these dreams stopped the moment your parents told you who they had chosen as your husband.
“Duke Palpatine is a very respectable man with a huge fortune”, your mother had told you.
“He will provide for you and any children you will have”, your father had added.
“And he’s old, if you’re lucky he’ll die sooner rather than later”, your brother had tried to console you. Of course your parents hadn’t appreciated that comment.
But now here you were, in a carriage larger than any you had ever traveled in, on your way to your new home.
Just hours after the wedding ceremony your new husband, though part of you still refused to call him that, had told you he’d need to leave for one of his many estates first thing in the morning. And after the wedding night, which you refused to think about, he left with most of his men, leaving you to travel to your new home without your husband.
“I can tell you miss him already”, your mother smiled. She was accompanying you to your new home and would stay a few weeks to help you get settled until the Duke’s return.
You turned away from the landscape you had been looking at through the window. Deep down you knew you had no reason to be mad at your mother, all she had done was make sure you were married to a wealthy man. It wasn’t her fault you were not allowed to choose your own husband, nor that Palpatine had proposed and your father had accepted the offer. In fact, you didn’t even know whether your mother had any say in the decision.
“It’s hard to miss someone you only knew for a single day, even if that someone is your husband”, you told her.
Just as she opened her mouth to reply the carriage came to a sudden halt and a moment later someone knocked on the door.
You opened it just a little bit to reveal General Skywalker, the leader of the troop of your husband’s personal guard that was accompanying you.
“General”, a small smile found its way to your lips at the sight of the friendly face and you opened the door a bit wider. “Why are we stopping?”
The young General bowed his head ever so slightly while still keeping eye contact.
“We were just informed that part of the way was flooded due to heavy rains last night, your Grace. I thought it best to stop at this inn for tonight and continue our journey tomorrow.”
You tried your best to smile politely, even though this unexpected stop was the last thing you wanted right now.
“Of course, General.”
-------
Just a few minutes later General Skywalker lead you into the main room of the small inn, your mother following with the Captain, whose name you had not yet learned.
“If you’ll allow, my lady, I will arrange the rooms while you wait with Captain Rex”, the General said. He turned around to look at the other man and you did the same.
Of course you had noticed him from a distance, but from up close you could see that his eyes were not dark, but a light caramel brown and even hints of brown roots where his hair was growing out.
“I will be just fine with the Captain. Thank you, General.”
Only a moment after General Skywalker left another man approached you. He looked so much like the Captain, you assumed they must be related somehow. He bowed to you and your mother before turning to the Captain to tell him something in a quiet tone. “
“Alright, Fives”, the blond agreed after a while. Just as the other man turned to leave, however, your mother asked him to escort her back to the carriage to get some personal belongings she didn’t want anyone else to get their hands on.
“You don’t mind waiting here for me, do you, darling?”, she asked you. You shook your head and just a second later you were alone with the Captain.
You tried your hardest not to look at him and inspect your surroundings instead, but you could feel his eyes on you. His stare, though burning, felt protective and comfortable rather than threatening, but after a while it made you face him nonetheless.
“Is there something you want to say to me, Captain?”, you asked in your best Duchess voice, a tone you still needed to practice a lot more based on the glint in his eyes.
“Nothing at all, your Grace.”
You nodded. A small smile graced his handsome face and there was a certain warmth in his eyes you did not expect from someone in your husband’s guard.
“I must admit, you are not like I expected you to be”, he finally said after a moment of silence.
You knew it wasn’t his place to say such things, and based on the shadow that took over his features he knew as well, but you couldn’t help but be intrigued.
“I do hope that’s a compliment”, you said with a smile. The first real smile, you suddenly realized, in weeks.
The Captain nodded.
“It most certainly is. You are younger than I expected, kinder, and more beautiful as wel-”
“Captain”, General Skywalker interrupted his kind words.
Any warmth disappeared from the Captain’s face as realization set in. He stood up even straighter than before as he turned to face the General.
“I am sorry, sir. I should not have said those things.”
Even though you barely knew the man you could tell General Skywalker was fighting a smile and there was a hint of amusement behind his sinister expression.
“You should apologize to the Duchess, not to me, and hope she was not offended by what you just said.”
The Captain turned back to you with a blush on his face. He wore a schooled look of remorse and respect, but there was just a hint of fear in his eyes.
“I was not offended, Captain Rex. Quite the opposite, you paid me very kind compliments and I should hate for you to be punished for that.” Your last words were directed more at the General than the Captain.
“T- Thank you, my lady”, the blond stuttered with a look of utter relief on his face.
You would have liked to say something else, maybe even compliment him in return, but your mother’s arrival destroyed any thought of that.
“I would like to be shown to my room now”, she said.
Her words, her posture and her tone made you realize how inappropriate your conversation with the Captain had been. A Duchess should demand respect and not talk to her guard as if he were her friend, even if that guard was good looking and nice and made her feel like a person for the first time in a while.
--------
You stood in front of the grandest and most beautiful house you had ever seen in your life. How this could be called a house instead of a palace was, quite frankly, beyond you. There were more windows than you could count, a polished facade and flowers growing all around it.
You could hear a soft “oh” coming from your mother, who stood a few feet behind you. It would take you a while to get used to the fact that your mother, being a lady, would now always stand behind you, the Duchess of Empireshire.
In front of the house stood the servants, from the butler and the housekeeper to the gardeners and kitchen maids. As if on command they bowed or curtsied the moment your eyes landed on them. When they came up again a good looking man with a well kept beard approached you, followed by a beautiful woman with the kindest eyes you had ever seen.
“Allow me to introduce myself, your Grace. I am the butler, Obi-Wan Kenobi. And this is Satine Kryze, the housekeeper. Welcome to Senatehall.”
You gave both of them a smile you hoped looked graceful, even though you felt incredibly out of place. In this moment you were supposed to have your husband by your side, to take your hand and guide you to your new home. Though you supposed being alone was favorable to having Palpatine with you.
“Thank you, Kenobi, Kryze.” At least you knew how to address your new employees. “Thank you for this kind welcome. I am very much looking forward to exploring this breathtaking house, but for now all I want is to retire, preferably with a cup of tea.”
You could almost sense your mother’s nod of approval. This was how a Duchess was supposed to behave, not getting lost in a Captain’s eyes in a roadside in. A Captain you had not even seen all day.
“Certainly, my lady”, Kryze, though you couldn’t help calling her Satine in your mind, said. She waved and a young woman approached. She could not be much older than you were, though you considered her to be a whole lot prettier.
“This is Padmé. She will be your lady’s maid, unless of course you brought your own with you.”
You shook your head to tell her that you had not. In fact, you had never even had your own lady’s maid and had shared one with your mother your whole life.
“It is nice to meet you,Padmé.”
She smiled.
“Nice to meet you too, my lady. Would you like me to show you to your rooms?”
With a single nod from you Padmé ushered you inside.
Though you could see how beautiful and expensive everything was on the inside, you were too tired to actually pay attention to anything.
“I hope everything is to your liking. I took the liberty to redecorate a bit, but of course you’re free to change anything you like”, Padmé said as she opened one of the doors in the very long hallway. She stepped aside to let you enter and you found yourself in a stunning sitting room.
Two small sofas were in the middle of the room with a table between them. The walls were lined with shelves, some filled with books, other with small trinkets or flowers. Next to the huge windows overlooking the park stood a small writing desk with nothing but a picture of your husband on it, which you decided to ignore for now.
“Padmé, it is beautiful”, you told the other woman.
She lowered her head in thanks, but you could see a smile gracing her lips.
“I am glad. Would you like to see the bedroom and the bathroom before your tea arrives?”
The bedroom was just as beautiful, though a bit smaller. Two wardrobes stood on both sides of the door, a vanity table next to the window and a small nightstand with a bouquet of flowers next to the bed. The bed, however, took up most of the room. It was gigantic, bigger than any bed you had seen before, and beautiful with its soft pink blankets, matching pillows and canopy hanging around it. But it made you nervous as well. You hated thinking about what would eventually have to happen in that bed, and who it would happen with. One night had been more than enough and your husband had not hurt you, it had been nothing like the sweet and romantic experience your friend Nova had described to you in whispers after her own wedding night.
Other than the bedroom and the sitting room, the bathroom was nothing special. Still pretty, but mostly practical.
“You’re tea is here, my lady”, Padmé called from the sitting room, but you barely registered her words.
The other woman entered the bedroom just a second later.
“Are you alright, your Grace?”
It was only when you felt her hand on your shoulder that you were awaken from your trance.
“I’m fine, thank you. Could you help me loosen my corset, though? I can barely breath in this thing.”
Padmé got straight to work. She helped you undress and loosed the string of your corset a bit. Immediately you felt freer and could actually take deep breaths.
“Is that better, my lady?”
You nodded in relief.
“Much, thanks. Though I wish you’d stop calling me that, I am (Y/N).”
Though Padmé stood behind you, you could see her from the vanity mirror. She shook her head, but a smile was on her lips.
“I don’t think I can to that. It’s not proper.”
You turned around. Being alone with someone your age, having your corset loosened and finally realizing your position made you desperate.
“I know. Believe me, I know. But we’re going to spend a lot of time together and I would be more comfortable if you called me by my name. Plus, I need a friend since I don’t know anyone here and I’m hoping you might be that friend and friends call each other by their first names.”
This time Padmé saw no other choice but to agree.
------
Being alone for the first time since the wedding and the warm tea in your stomach made you more relaxed than you had been for a while and before you knew it you were asleep.
When you woke you didn’t remember even falling asleep, nor why you had woken up. Only the warm and secure feeling the dream gave you remained, until your growling stomach made even that disappear.
You sat up from the rather uncomfortable position on the sofa and looked around the room. The moon outside was illuminating most of it and a small fire did the rest, nonetheless you were shivering.
Quickly you made your way to the bedroom, where you found a warm, soft robe folded at the foot of the bed. You slipped it on while your stomach growled again.
Back in the sitting room the clock on the bookshelf told you that it was already half past nine. Which was way past dinner time and made you wonder why no one had woken you up to eat. But you decided not to dwell on the though, instead you opened the door and slipped into the hallway.
It was dark, only a few candles were lit along the walls, but they gave you enough light to find your way downstairs to the entry hall. From there on, though, you had no idea where to go. Finally, after trying to remember whether Padmé had even told you what direction the kitchen was in, you headed down another hallway.
This one was darker than the one upstairs, and colder as well. You shivered in your thin dress and robe, but didn’t want to give up your search for the kitchen.
“Who’s there? Reveal yourself!”, a stern voice sounded from your right.
Though you knew it wasn’t the smartest move, you yelped and turned around with wide eyes.
“I- Miss (Y/N), no, wait! Duchess (Y/N)”, you remembered your new title.
Suddenly a door opened and illuminated the hallway. Due to the sudden brightness you didn’t recognize who stepped out, you only saw a tall, muscular man. You opened your mouth to scream for help, hoping someone would wake up and hear you, when the man spoke.
“Your Grace, you really should not be here this late at night.”
“Captain Rex?”, you asked, recognizing his voice.
The Captain stepped closer so that you could finally see his face. His eyes seemed to be glowing in the dark hallway, though his eyebrows were crunched in confusion.
“What are you doing here?”, he asked in an almost hushed voice and suddenly you realized how inappropriate the situation was. Though you were still dressed, your corset was looser than you were used to, you hair had come loose and parts of it hung down your back, not to mention that you were alone with him.
“I was looking for the kitchen. I missed dinner because I fell asleep and now I’m awake and I’m hungry and I was hoping there might be some leftovers in the kitchen, or maybe at least some fruit. Maybe a couple of strawberries. I love strawberries, don’t you?”
You knew you were rambling, but you had no idea why. This was now your house and you shouldn’t need excuses to be wandering the halls, no matter what time. You stood up straighter, prepared to tell the Captain as much should he say anything else. But he didn’t question you any further, instead he let out a low chuckle.
“You’re as far from the kitchen as it gets. It’s downstairs, and that’s quite a maze itself. But if you let me I could guide you back to your room and you could send someone to get you a snack.”
You had no idea what made you blush, his words or the sound of his laughter, but you felt your cheeks heat up and suddenly had the desire to pull the robe tighter around your body.
“I actually don’t want to bother anyone, the servants should be asleep by now and-”
“You really think they’re asleep already?”, he interrupted you. As soon as the words left his mouth his eyes darkened. “I’m sorry. I should not have interrupted you. Forgive me, your Grace.”
As much as you disliked Padmé calling you “your Grace” and “my lady” hearing the Captain apologize was worse.
“Please, feel free to interrupt me whenever I speak untruths. It’s a service, not an offense.”
He nodded, but didn’t say anything else. Neither did you for a moment.
“I still don’t want to inconvenience anyone. I will just go down to the kitchen and get a piece of bread or something. Perhaps you could point me in the right direction”, you finally said.
The blond looked at you with raised eyebrows. He seemed to be thinking about what to say.
“With all due respect, my lady, I don’t think you will find your way to the kitchen by yourself.” He stopped for a moment. “I could show you, if you want.”
“Lead the way, Captain”, you said with a relieved smile.
He didn’t lead the way, instead he walked right beside you, closer than he probably should. You kept glancing at him from the side. There was no denying that he was good looking, and nice as well, but he was just so stiff, as if he was afraid that putting a single toe out of line would get him punished.
“Is General Skywalker very strict?”, you asked after a while. Partly to break the silence, but partly because that would explain his constant apologizing.
For a millisecond the Captain stopped before he continued on his way.
“He’s not. He is a good man, a bit reckless at times, but we are lucky to serve under him.”
That statement only confirmed your suspicions. The General had not seemed strict, but rather kind, but what other explanation was there for the Captain’s behavior? Though maybe it was just in his character to be safe rather than sorry.
“Where are you from, Captain?”
From the corner of your eye you could see him raise an eyebrow.
“Kamino. It is a small village in the North.”
At first it seemed as if he wanted to add something, but he stayed silent and just kept walking. By now you were close to the entry hall again.
“Do you have family?”
As you walked through the entry way, which had better lighting, you could see more of his face. He was smiling, just a little bit, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes that almost made you reach out to touch his arm. You had already lifted your hand when you realized that that would make the already inappropriate situation even worse.
“I have three brothers. Fives, Echo and Kix.”
The first name sounded familiar and made you remember the other guard you had seen yesterday.
“Fives is a guard as well, isn’t he?”
The Captain nodded. He finally stopped in front of a door you almost didn’t see, it was half hidden behind a statue and painted the same color as the wall. He opened it and let you pass through first.
You found yourself on top of a dark staircase, only a torch on the wall gave a bit of light. It was colder than in the main house, which made you wrap your robe tighter, and everything was stone, no carpets covering any of the surfaces. The Captain grabbed the torch and asked you to go on down the stairs.
“He is. Echo as well. Kix is studying to become a doctor, though, like our father.” His voice got more and more quiet with every word, letting you know his father was dead without ever saying the words.
“You must be proud of him. A cousin of mine studied medicine and told me how difficult it was.”
Since the blond was now behind you you couldn’t see his face, but you could swear you heard a smile in his voice.
“I am proud of all my brothers.”
Before you knew it you had reached the bottom of the stairs and a moment later the Captain was beside you again.
“Almost there”, he told you, to which your stomach responded with an embarrassingly loud growl.
The closer you got to the kitchen the stronger the smell of fresh bread and warm tea got.
Finally you stopped in front to the opened door to the largest kitchen you had ever seen. The room could probably fit a dozen cooks and three time as many kitchen maids, but right now there was only one present. A girl with her back to you stood in front of the last gleams of the oven fire and cut some fruits or vegetables.
“Ahsoka”, the Captain said.
The girl turned around. You could now see that she was pretty as well and started wondering whether everyone who lived and worked in this house was good looking.
“Rex and, oh my! You’re the new Duchess!”, she exclaimed and fell into a deep curtsy.
The look the Captain shot her had you imagining him with his brothers or disciplining guards.
“You were not out front when I arrived”, you told the girl.
Ahsoka shook her head before letting it hang low.
“You know how they say children should be seen and not heard? Turns out a kitchen maid should not even be seen. I mean, I understand that I’m not much to look at in this dirty dress and ugly apron, but it’s not my fault I only get old hand-me-downs from the other maids. I still think I should get to see my new employee, since Duchesses usually don’t visit the kitchen”, she said with a sly smile.
Next to you you felt the Captain stiffen, making you realize just how close you were standing to him. Though you blamed it on the cold, you had probably instinctively gotten closer to share body heat.
“Ahsoka, you shouldn’t s-”
“It’s fine, she’s right”, you interrupted the Captain before he could scold the girl without reason.
You stepped closer to her, farther from the man next to you.
“I was actually hoping to get a snack. I missed dinner, you see.”
Her eyes lit up.
“You want me to make you something to eat? No one ever wants me to make them something to eat.”
You weren’t sure if her words meant you should rethink your decision, but she was so eager you couldn’t help but nod.
“Why don’t you go over to the servants hall and I’ll bring you some food in a minute. And tea as well?”
You nodded once again, but before you could finish the motion Ahsoka was already preparing a plate. You felt the Captain’s hand on your arm, making you turn and face him. He was closer than ever before, so close you could feel his breath on your face. Slowly you closed your eyes, just for a short moment, before opening them again and looking right into his.
“Let’s sit down, Ahsoka will have your food ready soon.”
Without another word he lead you by the elbow, out of the kitchen and into a room just across the hall.
This room was darker and colder than the kitchen, no fire was burning and the space seemed sad and deserted.
“Usually it’s full of life, but everyone else is asleep. Thanks to you not showing up to dinner there was a lot less work”, the Captain explained. His tone was far more casual than a few minutes earlier, he seemed more relaxed.
Ahsoka entered the room before you could say anything, carrying a tablet with a steaming pot of tea, cups and a plate.
“I’m afraid the food is not the dinner you’re used to, my lady. This late there is often not much left”, she said as she sat the plate filled with bread, cheese and fruit in front of you.
Your eyes grew wider as you saw a couple of big, juicy strawberries and as if to tell you to eat them already your stomach growled once again. With a sly smile, hoping the others had not heard how desperate you were for food, you bit into the biggest strawberry. A loud moan escaped you and your face instantly blushed to match the fruit. If a growling stomach was something no one should hear, this sound was indefinitely worse. To your horror the Captain looked at you with wide eyes and even bit his lip, until he noticed you looking at him at least. Ahsoka, on the other hand, laughed.
“Seems like you love strawberries as much as Rex here. I remember one time last summer he came rushing into the kitchen because he could apparently smell the strawberry marmalade we were making all the way from the stables. You should have seen the look on his face, it was-”, suddenly she interrupted mid sentence. She looked from Rex to you and back again, while you tried your best not to look at the Captain as well.
“I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry, my lady.”
She cast her eyes down as she started pouring a cup of tea, focused on the dark liquid in front of her.
It took you a moment to realize what she had just apologized for. Having been raised in a much smaller and poorer house as a lord’s daughter, not a duchess, you were used to talking with the servants, being friendly, even if you weren’t exactly friends.
“Please stop with the constant apologies, both of you. I’m glad to know more about the Captain and loving strawberries is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I am much worse than the Captain. When I was little I once escaped from my governess to go to a nearby strawberry field. I picked and ate strawberries for what felt like hours, until I fell asleep. By the time my father found me my white dress was stained pink and I later got sick because I ate so much. After that I wasn’t allowed any strawberries for a month.”
A smile grew on your face from the fond memory. It had been a good time, before the talk of balls and husbands had started.
The little story had lightened the mood, because Ahsoka went on to tell about that one time she had climbed a tree to get the biggest apple and then fallen, resulting in her breaking her leg. Even the Captain jumped in and told you about his first time falling off a horse.
You liked to know these little things about your servants, it made them more like people and less like employees. And you really enjoyed how Ahsoka’s voice changed throughout the story, it got louder and quieter, faster and slower, making you really feel what she must have felt in that moment. But the Captain was a whole other story. It wasn’t as much his voice that changed as his face. There was a light in his eyes and the corners of his lips, which you tried not to look at, lifted whenever he talked about his brothers. His chuckles made your insides turn warm and when his eyes landed on you you felt as if you were on fire. Though you didn’t know why he had that effect on you, you knew it was thrilling and comforting and dangerous, but mostly you knew you should ignore all of that, because it went beyond anything you should feel for the Captain of your husband’s guard.
Ahsoka was in the middle of telling a story about General Skywalker when low bells interrupted her.
“Shit, is it midnight already?”, she exclaimed.
Out of the corner of your eye you could see the Captain open his mouth, probably to scold the girl for her language, but before he could say anything you stood up.
“I should go. And you should get to bed, Ahsoka”, you said.
The girl nodded. She drowned the last of her tea, which must have been cold by now, and reached for the empty plate.
“I’ll clean this up and then I’ll go”, she told you. For a moment she halted in her movement and looked at you. “It was very nice meeting you, your Grace.”
There it was, the reminder that you had not just made friends, but were talking to your servants. No matter how good you thought you got along, you would never know whether they enjoyed your company or were just pretending in order to keep their jobs. And in that moment you wanted nothing more than to tell Ahsoka, tell the Captain, to call you (Y/N) and to let them know how much you had enjoyed the evening with them, but you knew you never could.
“Let me walk you back to your room, my lady”, the Captain said.
You just nodded, suddenly more tired then you were moments before.
“Good night, Ahsoka”, you said with a smile you hoped was kind rather than sad.
The two of you walked in silence. Though the way back was shorter, since you didn’t make any detours or got lost, it seemed to last an eternity. Finally you reached the top of the stairs and turned down a familiar hallway.
“I had a good time tonight”, you said as you were nearing your door.
It wasn’t until you actually stopped in front of said door that the Captain answered.
“Me too.” He paused to look at you. You felt his eyes wander from your disheveled hair to your eyes, your nose, your reddening cheeks and finally your lips. A strange tingling in your stomach caught your attention, but you decided to analyse that later. For now you were quiet happy standing in a dark hallway close to a handsome and kind man whose breath you could feel on your face. It smelled of the strawberries you had offered him earlier.
“You know it can never happen again, don’t you?”
You closed your eyes at his words. Though there was a new familiarity in the tone, and he hasn’t even used your title, they felt colder than anything he had said that night. Like a goodbye.
“I know it’s... I know it’s not exactly proper... But it’s not really improper either, is it? It’s not like we were alone, we had Ahsoka with us.”
As soon as the words left your mouth you realized that in that moment you were alone. Alone in a dark hallway and closer than you should be to any man who is not your husband.
You could feel the Captain taking a slow, deep breath. His hand brushed yours, whether accidentally or on purpose you couldn’t tell, and his eyes fluttered close for a moment.
The tingling intensified and you braced yourself for what was to come, though you weren’t sure what exactly that was. But then he took a step back.
“Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
There was a new emotion in his eyes, one you couldn’t read but were convinced you never wanted to see again.
“I’m sorry, I... I suppose... I guess I still need to adjust to all of this.” You lifted your hands and pointed down the corridor. “And you...”
You decided it was probably better to end your sentence there, you didn’t even know what you wanted to say, so instead you reached out your hand to open the door. You stepped inside your sitting room, still facing the man in front of you.
“Goodnight, Captain”, you said with a smile. He mirrored your smile, though it looked somehow sad on his face. When he didn’t say anything for a few seconds you started closing the door and it wasn’t until it was almost shut all the way that you heard him softly saying “Goodnight, (Y/N).”
With a sigh you leaned against the now closed door.
“Goodnight, Rex”, you whispered into the cold, dark, empty room.
-------
Next Part
The idea for a Rex Regency Au just popped into my head and I had so much fun writing this.
More parts will definitely follow, I already have a rough idea of how I want everything to work out. Though I’m currently writing another Rex fanfiction and a second part for my Poe Dameron fanfiction as well, so I’m not sure how fast I’ll be...
Imagine Jughead telling you, his girlfriend, that he is asexual (Jughead Jones x Fem!Reader)
Imagine having a crush on Veronica but being scared to ask her out (Veronica Lodge x Genderneutral!Reader)
P.S. I am no longer writing for Riverdale, it’s just these two
Harry Potter
Beautiful (Draco Malfoy x Fem!Slytherin!Reader) Draco tries to tell the self-conscious reader how he feels about her.
Purely physical? (Draco Malfoy x Fem!Slytherin!Reader) Imagine having a friends with benefits situation with your best friend, who you had been in love with for years
Fantastic Beasts
New Jobs and old friends (Theseus Scamander x Fem!Reader) Reader starts a new job at the ministry, the only problem being her best friend’s brother who she has a complicated history with. But maybe Newt can help sort things out
Sherlock
Imagine being Sherlock’s little sibling (Sherlock Holmes x Genderneutral!Sibling!Reader)
Marvel
Imagine being Peter’s best friend and crushing on Spiderman (Peter Parker x Fem!Reader)
Good for you (Peter Parker x Fem!Stark!Reader) The reader takes Peter out on a special date for their nine month anniversary.
Mischief Managed? (Loki x Fem!Reader) After months of being away on a mission you return just in time for the annual Stark Industries gala, and to meet the newest member of the Avengers, who is… not from this world
Pirates of the Caribbean
Imagine pretending to be Henry Turner’s girlfriend (Henry Turner x Fem!Reader)
Kingsman
Dreams (Eggsy Unwin x Fem!Reader) You and Eggsy were friends with benefits until you ended it for your new boyfriend. And just then Eggsy realizes what he lost
Star Wars
Dating App AU (Poe Dameron x Genderneutral!Reader) Your friend convinced you to try this dating app and while your date is cute and nice, there is just something about his flatmate...
Just Friends (Poe Dameron x Genderneutral!Reader) You were tired of denying the assumption that you were dating your best friend, so you finally gave up. But what happens when Poe finds out that you’re supposedly dating?
Timing (Poe Dameron x Genderneutral!Reader) You are in love with your best friend Poe, your best friend Poe is in love with you. Is there a chance for you love even though you realize it at different times?
Big Brother Part 1 (Poe Dameron x Fem!Reader) Basically a bunch of short scenarios where you and Poe are getting closer and your older brother doesn’t like it
Clone Wars
Cuddles (Rex x Fem!Jedi!Reader) You are extremely affectionate with everyone but Rex and even though the Captain knows why it bothers him, he refuses to acknowledge his feelings
The Duchess and the Captain Part 1, Part 2 (Rex x Fem!Duchess!Reader) Regency AU! Marrying Duke Palpatine was not your idea of a perfect marriage, but meeting a certain Captain in his personal guard might make up for it.
Summary: You are extremely affectionate with everyone but Rex and even though the Captain knows why it bothers him, he refuses to acknowledge his feelings
Warnings: Mentions of injuries, mentions of sex
-------
It wasn’t unusual for the Jedi to send additional healers on dangerous or very long missions. Nor was it unusual for said healers to be Jedi, not only could their force sensitivity help them locate, and to a certain degree heal, even the toughest injuries, they could also help out in battle when needed. And so no one was surprised when you were send along with the 501st on a mission to the outer rim.
-------
“Have you seen General Skywalker? I have a few questions regarding his plans for tomorrow”, Rex asked Ahsoka.
The Padawan looked up from her datapad to point down the corridor.
“I think he wanted a quiet place to work.”
The way Ahsoka said the word made Rex second guess whether the General was actually working or talking to his not-so-secret wife. And even though he didn’t want to interrupt him, he knew how important time with loved ones was the night before a big battle, he really needed his questions answered.
“Thanks.”
Ahsoka smiled at him before turning back to her datapad.
-------
Rex opened and closed a few doors in vain.
Finally he opened the last door of the long corridor and found the General sitting on a blanket he had laid on the floor. But he was not alone.
Rex was surprised that Anakin actually seemed to be working, he had a datapad in his hand and another laying next to him, but that wasn’t what caught the Captain's attention.
You were with the General. Your head was in Anakin’s lap and one of his hands was stroking your hair, which had gotten loose from your bun and was now covering part of your face. Your closed eyes and deep breaths told Rex that you were fast asleep. But instead of thinking how relaxed you looked when sleeping, when for once you didn’t have the weight of protecting the galaxy on your shoulders, he felt as if someone had just shot him right in the chest.
“Rex, is something the matter?”
The Captain tore his eyes away from you to look at Anakin. He tried his best to be professional, not to let a blush rise to his cheeks or his feelings show.
“I have a few questions about tomorrow.”
Anakin nodded. Although both men spoke in quiet voices and the General moved only slightly you began to stir and opened your eyes a moment later.
Being a trained Jedi it took you less than a second to remember where you were and who you were with. Slowly you sat up and looked from Rex to Anakin and back again.
“Hello, Captain”, you said with a soft smile.
And no matter how hard he tried, heat now crept up to his cheeks.
“I am sorry for waking you.”
You shook your head, still smiling.
“Nonsense, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep anyway.”
You looked at Anakin again, who had been watching your interaction with great interest.
“I’ll leave you two alone and get back to work then.”
The Jedi nodded, a smile now gracing his lips as well.
Never in his life had Rex felt as out of place as he did in that very moment. This was a private interaction and he had no business witnessing the smiles the two of you gave each other, nor the loving expression in your eyes. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away, not even when you pressed a gentle kiss to Anakin’s cheek before grabbing the second datapad from the floor.
Rex stepped out of the door to let you pass, careful to put a bit of space between your bodies. But even the few feet between you didn’t stop him from smelling your sweet perfume. Where Jedi could get perfume in the middle of a war was beyond him, but he had come to love every whiff of the scent he got. Though now, more than ever, he knew he shouldn’t. He knew you weren’t his and would never be.
“I’ll see you around, Rex”, you said. And for a moment, just for a short moment, Rex thought you might reach out to him. He braced himself for the touch, but it never came. Instead you smiled before closing the door behind you.
Usually he tried his best to be respectful to General Skywalker and any other Jedi, but he couldn’t help himself.
“Does she know about Senator Amidala?”
Anakin got up from his spot on the floor and looked at Rex with raised eyebrows.
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”
Try as he might, Rex couldn’t keep the anger out of his tone.
“Does (Y/N) - I mean General (Y/L/N), of course - does she know you are married to Senator Amidala?”
Anakin stepped closer to Rex. The Captain couldn’t quite read his expression.
“(Y/N)”, he said your name in a way that made it very clear he had noticed Rex’s slip earlier. “Does not know about Padmé.”
“Do you think it’s fair then, to lead her on like this?”
The Jedi looked at Rex for a moment before answering.
“I am not leading her on, I wouldn’t do that. (Y/N) is a friend, she knows it as well as I do.”
Relief flooded over Rex. He had to admit, it wasn’t like General Skywalker to lead someone on, and much less like him to cheat on his wife, but to see the two of you so close made him question everything he though he knew about your relationship.
“Rex, I hope you know that you can be honest with me about... well, you and (Y/N).”
The blond took a step back, then another, until his back hit the wall behind him.
“I don’t know what you’re implying. There is no me and (Y/N) - General (Y/L/N), I mean.”
Even though Rex tried to sound convincing a smirk played on Anakin’s lips.
“Of course, Captain. Of course.”
The next couple of days his conversation with Anakin kept replaying in Rex’s head. It kept him from sleeping, haunted his dreams and even distracted him on the battlefield. So much so that it he let a blaster strike his shoulder and was send to the med bay, where he ran right into you.
“Captain, I heard what happened”, you greeted him. “Let me have a look at that shoulder and we’ll get it as good as new again.”
You reached out a hand to his injured shoulder, but without thinking Rex stepped out of the way.
“I’m fine. There are others who need your help more than I do.”
You let your hand fall as your eyebrows knitted together in worry.
“You are my last patient for today, everyone else is already taken care of. Now let me help you, I can see you’re in pain.”
And no matter how much his head protested, his heart made him nod in agreement.
He followed you to one of the few beds that were not occupied and sat down as you gathered any supplies you might need.
“I must admit, it is not like you to get hit”, you said while you opened and closed drawers.
Rex just shrugged. It wasn’t as if he could tell you that he had been distracted because he was jealous of your relationship with Anakin or, worse, that he suspected the General knew about his feelings for you.
You finally finished and turned to Rex.
“You’ll need to take your armor off. And your shirt as well. Even I can’t heal you without actually seeing the wound.”
Once again Rex found himself trying not to blush. He hurried to do as you told him and just a few seconds later he was shirtless.
You moved closer, so close, that he could feel your body heat, even through your robes, and smell your perfume, though now there was also a hint of sweat beneath the sweet scent.
You laid a soft hand on his shoulder, careful not to touch the wound but Rex tensed nonetheless.
“Does it hurt?”, you asked softly.
He shook his head. It didn’t hurt, at least not on his shoulder. But he felt as if his heart was being ripped apart by being so close to you, but not close enough, never close enough.
“It looks worse than it is”, you mumbled more to yourself than Rex. He felt something cold, probably a bit of bacta spray, hitting the wound and a warm, tingly feeling a moment later. Your soft fingers danced over the now closed wound as you applied a bit of salve before placing a plaster on top.
“That should do the trick.”
You stepped back and for a moment Rex could have sworn you were looking up and down his unclad upper half, with a look in your eyes that didn’t speak of medical professionalism. But surely he had to be imagining that, you had spend most of the day patching up his brothers, clones that looked just like him, you had no reason to be checking him out.
“How are you, Rex?”
For the first time in what felt like an eternity he met your eyes. A look of concern was in them, along with a softness he didn’t even know he needed after the rough day he’d had.
“I’m fine.”
With a sigh you sat down next to him just as Rex put his shirt back on. You were careful to keep space between you, but once again Rex could swear he felt heat radiating off of you.
“We both know you’re lying.”
That, right there, was one of the things Rex loved most about you. Others pretended to care or said nice words solely to motivate him in his fight for the republic, but you cared. You seemed to love the 501st like family, more than a Jedi was probably supposed to. And not just Ahsoka and Anakin, the clones as well. You never made any of them feel like they were worth less, you made them feel loved and like they belonged.
“Can you tell because of the force?”, he tried to joke. You, however, remained serious.
“I can tell because I know you. And I know you’ve not been yourself lately. What’s going on?”
He looked down at your hand that has found its way to his thigh. The second his eyes landed on it you removed it and even though he knew it wasn’t possible, Rex thought he could see your cheeks darkening a bit.
“I’ve just been thinking about something General Skywalker recently said. About... me and a girl, a woman. He thinks there’s something going on between us, but that’s rubbish.”
Your eyes glazed over with something that almost looked like sadness, but it might as well have been confusion or just understanding. No matter what you were feeling, you gave Rex a small smile.
“Why would you say that?”
He thought about how he should answer your question honestly without giving away that he was talking about you.
“She’s not really supposed to be in a relationship, due to her... religion. And besides, she’s way too good for me. She’s kind and funny and caring and the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes upon. And I’m just... well, I mean, why should she choose me even if she could?”
Rex tried his best to avoid your eyes and instead opted for looking at the floor. He knew that you would figure out who he was talking about the moment he looked at you.
You didn’t say anything for a while and Rex almost worried he had scared you away. Perhaps you did know he was talking about you, perhaps you were disappointed or mad or even disgusted.
“Oh Rex”, you finally said. He felt your light touch on the small of his back before your fingers disappeared again, leaving behind a cold that was not there before.
“Anyone would be lucky to have you, and I do mean anyone. You’re all those things you said she is. You’re one of the kindest men I know, you’re funny in your own way, you care so much about your brother, about Anakin and Ahsoka and about me, I hope.”
You stopped for a moment.
“And you’re beautiful as well. Sure, you may look like your brothers, but there is an inner beauty in you as well. You’re one of a kind and anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve you anyway.”
Rex couldn’t help himself, after your kind words he just had to look at you. Tears were shining in your eyes and a smile was on your lips.
It took Rex all the courage he had to lay his hand on top of yours, but the way you gripped it tight and stroked it with your thumb made up for the nerves.
“Thank you, (Y/N). That means a lot to me.”
The interaction in the med bay stayed with Rex for weeks on end. He though of it when he needed something to distract him from all the horrors he saw on a daily basis or when he needed to escape from his brothers or General Skywalker for a while. But mostly when he needed to remind himself why he was fighting this war, who he was trying to protect.
“Rex, are you with us?”, General Skywalker asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“Yes, Sir.”
Rex could hear Fives snickering behind him, but he could easily ignore it. Especially when you were standing just a few meters away in between Anakin and Ahsoka.
It was late and General Skywalker was just recapping the latest mission to General Kenobi over the holo. And while Rex did listen with one ear, most of his attention of on you.
Everyone was tired, but you seemed especially so, maybe because using the force to heal the clones, and Anakin as well because he couldn’t go a single battle without an unnecessary injury, took its toll on you. You had one arm around Ahsoka and your head rested on her shoulder as you nodded along with Anakin’s report. It seemed as if you were half asleep in your friend’s embrace, which reminded Rex of the time he had found you sleeping in the General’s lap. Your exhaustion was obvious and all Rex wanted to do that very moment was to wrap you up in a blanket and have you fall asleep in his arms, to make sure no harm could come to you in your most defenseless state.
“Thank you, Anakin. Now everyone get some sleep, especially you, (Y/N)”, Obi-Wan finally said before ending the holo.
Anakin repeated the words to the clones and added that they would have a rare day off tomorrow. He then turned towards the other two Jedi and said something to them in a low voice. You just nodded along, though Rex was sure you were too sleepy to really understand what the General was saying.
“Rex”, Echo said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Are you coming or are you gonna keep staring at General (Y/L/N)?”
The Captain turned to his brother, making sure no one had overheard what he’d just said.
“I am not staring. I’m just concerned, she should get some sleep.”
“And you wanna take her to bed?”, Fives chimed in, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Shut up”, Echo said before Rex could.
He couldn’t deny Fives’ words, but right now all he wanted was for you to get a good night’s sleep.
Rex moved his brothers along towards their quarters. But he couldn’t resist to look at you one last time before the door closed behind him.
You and Ahsoka were now in a full embrace and he saw her gently kissing the top of your head. Once again he felt the pang of jealousy at how close you were to anyone but him, how everyone else constantly seemed to be touching or hugging or kissing you and he was too nervous to make any kind of skin to skin contact last longer than half a second.
Anakin stayed true to his word, so the next day the 501st found themselves on some small tropical planet with lush forests, golden sand and a clear blue sea. Everyone was in a good mood, swimming in the cool water, laying in the sun or getting caught up in some shenanigans Rex didn’t bother investigating. Almost everyone that was, General Skywalker seemed miserable. He was sitting under a tall tree on the edge of the beach, careful to stay on the grass and not to touch the sand. Rex had heard rumors that Anakin hated sand more than any separatist, but part of him though that he was just sad there wasn’t enough time off to visit his wife.
“C’mon, Skyguy, you’re missing out on all the fun”, Ahsoka shouted at her master from the edge of the water. A smile made its way to Rex’s lips at how hard she was trying to get everyone to enjoy the day. The smile only grew when his eyes landed on you. You were right next to the Padawan in as little clothing as Rex had ever seen you in. Compared to what many other women wore to the beach it was still incredibly modest, though he supposed Jedi didn’t really own bikinis. Instead you wore a pair of shorts that cut up in the middle of your thigh and a top that showed just a little bit of your stomach and more of your cleavage than he had ever seen. Rex tried his hardest not to stare, he really did, but his eyes were just drawn to your figure.
“I don’t think there’s anything in the Jedi code that forbids sex, just relationships”, Fives said.
Rex hadn’t even noticed his brother sitting down next to him. But he did make an active choice not to reply.
“I think she’d say yes if you asked. Of course you’d have to get over your nerves first”, Fives continued.
This time Rex was about to answer when the sound of your laughter interrupted him. You were surrounded by four of his brothers, all of them stripped down to the trousers of their blacks, who were splashing you with water and tickling you. Another couple troopers were chasing after Ahsoka, probably trying to give her the same treatment, but Rex only had eyes for you.
He knew both Anakin and Ahsoka saw you as a friend, nothing more than a close friend, but he hated that he couldn’t say the same for his brothers. Of course he knew they weren’t trying to anger him, most of them had hopefully not even noticed his attachment to you, but he couldn’t help jealousy rising up in him.
He finally turned back to Fives.
“Did you give them the same speech?”
By now you were no longer playfighting with the clones, instead you had your arms around two of them and watched the others chasing Ahsoka.
“It’s not my fault you get jealous so easily. All I’m saying is that you should talk to her. The worst that could happen is that things stay the same, but maybe if you got laid you’d loosen up every once in a while. And I’m sure she’d be great. Don’t they say the once who seem innocent are the best in bed?”
Sometimes Rex didn’t need words, sometimes a single glare could make even Fives shut his mouth.
For the rest of the day Rex tried to keep his distance from you. With the sun shining in your eyes, a relaxed smile on your lips and more skin than usually showing he didn’t trust himself not to say something he might regret.
It wasn’t until the evening that he saw you again.
Rex walked into the sleeping quarters he shared with his brother, he wanted to get a fresh set of blacks to change into after his shower, but once again he opened a door only to find you curled up next to someone. This time it was Echo and Fives. Each of you was holding a datapad, you and Echo seemed to be reading while Fives was apparently watching some holovideo. You sat in between Echo’s legs, leaning against him with your back pressed to his chest and Fives head was laying in your lap.
After staring at you for a moment Rex decided to make his presence known.
“I hope I’m not interrupting”, he said and could have slapped himself a moment later. Of all the things he could have said, that’s what he had to settle on.
All of you looked up from your respective holopads and Fives even sat up from his place on your lap.
“Rex, I mean Captain, I mean Captain Rex”, you stuttered and this time not even Rex could deny that you were blushing. “You’re not interrupting, at all. In fact, you can join us if you’d like.”
If it weren’t for his brothers Rex would have agreed. He would have ignored how nervous your mere presence made him and how much he shouldn’t want to be near you, but instead he turned around and walked right of the door.
It wasn’t until he was halfway across the ship that he realized that he hadn’t even given you an answer.
Rex hated to admit it, but he missed you terribly. Ever since that day off he barely saw you and when he did you wouldn’t meet his eyes. Even that one time he was send to the med bay you didn’t go near him and Kix took care of his injuries instead. The worst part was that Rex knew it was his fault. No matter how often he told himself that it was for the better, that the two of you would never have worked out, he couldn’t stop the guilt. If he had just acted normal, not so cold, around you you might at least be friends.
It was especially bad when he walked into the med bay after another battle, expecting to at least see you from a distance. Instead he was met with Kix mumbling under his breath and med droids going about their business.
Most of the beds were empty but Rex stepped closer to the ones that were occupied to see which of his brothers were injured and how they were feeling. Just as he made his way to the last bed Kix stepped in front of him.
“Can you take care of her for a moment? General Skywalker is waiting for me to report on the injured and the droids should clean up while I’m gone.”
Rex tried to sneak a peek over his brothers shoulder.
“Is Ahsoka injured? What happened?”
Kix’s face softened as he put a gentle hand on Rex’s shoulder.
“It’s (Y/N)”, he told him.
Within a second Rex was at your bed. You were paler than he’d like, eyes closed in a fitful sleep, hair a mess on the pillow.
“What happened?”
Rex hated how broken his voice sounded, but he hated it even more that he hadn’t even known you were injured, let alone unconscious. How could he not have known? Had he been so focused on keeping his distance or was it because you were avoiding him?
“The General put her in battle last minute, to watch our backs. But no one was watching her’s, she got shot right in the stomach and barely pulled through.”
For a short moment Rex allowed himself to touch your shoulder. You were colder than usual, colder than you were supposed to be.
“I’ll be back soon, all you need to do is stay close in case she wakes up. I simply don’t want her to wake up alone.”
When Kix kissed your forehead none of Rex’s usual jealousy appeared. Maybe it was because Kix, who you spend most of your days with, was like a brother to you, or maybe he finally learned that he had no reason to be jealous.
For a while Rex just stood there and watched you. From time to time his gaze wandered over to the monitor next to your bed that was recording your heartbeat and blood pressure and other medical necessities.
The next time he turned his eyes back to you your own were slowly opening.
“What happened? Where am - Rex? Rex, what are you doing here?”
He didn’t know whether it was the sound of your voice, which told him you were alright more than any machine counting your heartbeat ever could, or the way you said his name, but tears appeared in the corners of his eyes.
“You’re okay. Oh stars, you’re okay.”
He leaned down to brush a strand of hair out of your face. You smiled at him, slowly the colour was returning to your cheeks and a moment later you used the little controller to sit up in your bed.
“I’m more than okay.”
And just like that Rex’s heart stopped for a beat.
“(Y/N), I owe you an apology. I know I’ve been distant and I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. It’s me, I just -”
“I know”, you interrupted him, the smile on your lips turning a bit sadder. “You feel forced by me and you’re right, I should try to keep my distance and that’s what I’ve been trying to do but -”
You stopped and looked around the room.
“Is everyone else asleep?”
Rex was confused, but he nodded. The injured clones had been put to sleep to really recover from their injuries.
“I’ve been trying to keep my distance, but it breaks me. I like cuddling with Anakin, I like when Ahsoka kisses my forehead, I like being hugged by your brothers, but a little brush of your fingers sets off fireworks in me. And I know you don’t like being touched, but touch is my love language. I want the people I love close to me, I want to be touching and hugging and kissing them.”
By now there was not only colour in your cheeks, you were blushing furiously. You lifted a hand to run it through your hair and tried to watch Rex only out of the corner of your eye.
“You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to know.”
But you had interpreted Rex’s silence wrong, he wasn’t offended, he was stunned.
“You - You love me?”
He didn’t think it was possible, but you blushed even deeper.
“You really don’t have to say anything, we can still be friends. The last thing I want is to push something on you you don’t want, whether it is a touch or a kiss or even a secret relationship, because I know those can be though. But you deserve to know how I feel about you.”
Before you could say anything else Rex was leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. At first you were too shocked to respond, but you soon melted into the kiss, into his hand on your cheek and the other on your hip. You moved your arms around his neck to pull him even closer.
When you finally let go to catch your breath Rex leaned his forehead against yours.
“I love being touched by you, I love you. But every single touch made me nervous and happy and confused, but every slight brush of fingers was all I thought about for days. And that time in the med bay, when I had injured my shoulder, was like a dream come true.”
You smiled up at Rex, a smile bigger than any he’d seen on you before.
“Can you say that again?”
He mirrored your smile.
“Which part?”
You pecked his lips in a loving kiss.
“You know which part.”
“I love you.”
He pressed a soft kiss to your lips.
“I love you.”
Another kiss.
“I love you too.”
And another kiss.
“I won”, Ahsoka announced with a smile.
Both Anakin and Fives shook their heads.
“No way, he kissed her first!”, the Jedi protested.
“But she did say I love you first”, Kix chimed in.
“Technically Rex said the words first”, Echo added, which earned him eye rolls from the others.
“How about we just make a new bet to see when they tell us they’re together”, Kix suggested.
“I bet you five credits (Y/N) is gonna tell me within a week”, Anakin said with a knowing smirk.
Ahsoksa shook her head. “No way, she’s gonna tell me first. Ten credits.”
Summary: Basically a bunch of short scenarios where you and Poe are getting closer and your older brother doesn’t like it
Warnings: Sexual innuendos, your brother being kind of a douche, some guy can’t take no for an answer
How you first met
“Poe, this is Jack Lighthill. He will be joining your squadron for this mission”, Leia introduced the stranger.
Poe stretched out his hand for the other man to shake.
“Hi, I’m Poe.”
“Jack.”
Leia looked from one man to the other. She couldn’t quite pinpoint why, but there seemed to be a hostile energy between them.
“Jack, why don’t you get settled in? Poe, I have some more questions regarding your last mission”, she said.
With a nod in the general’s direction Jack left the room, completely ignoring his new commander.
“Poe, I must ask, do you two know each other?”
Poe shook his head.
“I have never seen that man in my life, but he doesn’t seem to like me very much.”
Leia just nodded in agreement.
It wasn’t until a few days later, right before black squadron had to leave for a mission, that Poe saw Jack again. He was talking to a young woman Poe had not seen before and before he knew it he walked over to them to introduce himself.
“Good morning, Jack. Ready for the mission?”, Poe asked. He tried to put on an encouraging smile, which Jack dismissed.
“Yes.”
Poe was slightly disappointed in this new recruit. It wasn’t that he wanted everyone to love him, but Jack seemed to hate him without rhyme or reason. Poe, trying to remain professional, turned to you.
Other than Jack you took the hand he offered and shook it.
“(Y/N) Lighthill. I’m still quite new.”
At the mention of the shared last name Poe couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. You seemed nice and friendly, could you really be married to someone like Jack?
You seemed to sense Poe’s confusion and jumped in before he could ask any questions.
“I am Jack’s younger sister.”
“And she’s strictly off limits”, Jack added.
Poe was confused. Sure, he had noticed that you were pretty and had a nice smile, but he hadn’t said anything in that direction.
“Stop it, Jack. Commander Dameron wasn’t trying to flirt, he was just being friendly”, you scolded.
Your brother scoffed but his gaze softened a bit.
There was an awkward silence for a moment before Poe started talking again.
“We should get into our x-wings. It was nice meeting you, (Y/N).”
You smiled at Poe, a small gesture that set off butterflies in his stomach, though he tried to ignore that.
“You too, commander.”
Poe nodded at both of you before turning around to head to his x-wing. He was just a few meters away when you and your brother started bickering. Though he tried not to listen he did make out the words “Back off” and “up to no good” in Jack’s voice and you trying to reason with your brother.
BB8 let out a few beeps, which made Poe laugh.
“I don’t know why he hates me, but at least (Y/N) is nice.”
And pretty, he added in his mind.
Everyday life
When someone is flirting with you
While Jack didn’t grow to like Poe, over time he started accepting him as his commander and one time he even admitted that he was a good pilot. Only to himself, though, after a few drinks.
Despite your brother not liking Poe, you enjoyed spending time with the pilot. It didn’t take long for the two of you to become friends and after a couple of weeks you were nearly inseparable.
You still sat in front of your data-pad in the command center hours after the sun had set. There was just so much to do, you couldn’t afford to take a break. In fact, you were so absorbed in your work that you didn’t even hear the door opening and closing or footsteps coming near.
“I knew I’d find you here”, Poe said.
He stepped closer to where you were sitting, but you didn’t look up. Not when he sat a tray down next to you, not when Poe pressed a kiss to your hair, not even when he started massaging your tense shoulders.
“You should take a break”, he whispered in your ear.
You just nodded, not lifting your eyes from your work.
“I bet you haven’t eaten all day and are sleep deprived”, he continued.
This time you did stop working and turned around.
“You’re one to talk! You never rest when there is work to do. Just last week you fell asleep next to your toolkit while repairing your x-wing.”
Poe pulled a nearby chair closer and sat down next to you.
“And then you found me and made me eat something and walked me to my room. If I remember correctly, and we both know I do, you didn’t leave until I was fast asleep in my bed, just to make sure I’d actually sleep.”
Poe was right, that was exactly what had happened. And you had a feeling that’s what he would do with you.
“At least eat something. Then I’ll even let you finish whatever you’re working on before taking you to bed.”
You grinned.
“So, you’re taking me to bed? Are you sure that’s appropriate, commander?”
Poe hated to admit it, because you were friends and because he just wanted you to get a few hours of sleep, but he couldn’t help the rush he felt when you talked in that flirty voice and called him commander in that tone.
She’s not trying to flirt, she doesn’t know how her words make you feel, he told himself. And it was true, you really had no idea. Sure, sometimes you flirted with Poe on purpose. It was fun, he was cute and, even though you’d never admit it, part of you enjoyed when he flirted back, but today you really didn’t know what you were saying.
“(Y/N), that’s not what I meant and you know it.”
Instead of answering you just put your arms around Poe and rested your head on his shoulder. You just couldn’t help it, he was making you feel safe and secure and that made you even sleepier than you were to begin with.
“While I’d love to let you sleep in my arms, sweetheart, you should eat something first and then sleep in your bed”, Poe muttered in your hair.
Just as you were about the reply a loud voice called out your name.
“What do you two think you’re doing?!”
You lifted your head, only to meet your brother’s eyes.
Jack stepped closer. He put a hand on your shoulder and rubbed it softly. And though the touch felt nice, it was nothing compared to the short massage Poe had given you earlier.
“Dameron, what are you doing with my sister?”, Jack asked.
Despite being incredibly tired you managed to roll your eyes at your brother’s behaviour.
“Jack, stop it. Poe was just bringing me dinner and trying to get me to go to sleep.”
Your brother scoffed.
“Trying to sleep with you seems more likely!”
Now it was Poe’s turn to jump in. He rarely raised his voice, not even the countless time when Jack called him Dameron instead of commander or when he told him to stay away from his little sister or even that one time he overheard Jack saying he didn’t deserve to be in command.
“That is enough, Lighthill! I am friends with your sister, whether you like it or not, and I care about my friends, that includes bringing them food and getting them to sleep and, yes, hugging them. And besides, (Y/N) is a strong, independent, capable woman, she can take care of herself and doesn’t need her big brother to yell at everyone who comes close to her.”
Despite the situation a small blush crept up your face at Poe’s words. Of course you knew he valued you, but he’d never said anything like that out loud before.
You knew your brother well enough to know that he’d either back down or explode any moment, so you decided to take control of the situation.
“Jack, I’ll finish this report and eat dinner with Poe, then I’ll come find you and you can walk me to my room, deal?”
You could tell the men weren’t really thrilled at your proposition, and to be honest neither were you, you would have preferred to spend the rest of the evening alone with Poe, but you didn’t want to hurt your brother’s feelings or risk him getting even madder at Poe than he already was.
“Sounds good”, Poe agreed after a moment of silence. He looked at you with a small smile.
“Fine”, Jack grumbled. His expression softened when he turned from Poe to you. He pushed the hair that had come loose from your ponytail behind your ear. “I’ll see you later, (Y/N/N).”
Without another word your brother turned around and left.
“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to him, tell him I don’t need his protection, at least not from you, and that he can’t treat you like that”, you apologized as soon as the door closed behind Jack.
Poe opened his arms for you again and pulled you close.
“I should talk to him as well. He should know I’d never hurt you. But I also know I’ve been soft on him, I didn’t want him to hate me any more than he already does, but he needs to realize that I am his commander and he has to show me some respect.”
Poe put his head on yours, which was once again on his shoulder.
“I am so not looking forward to that conversation.”
He waited for an answer for a few moments until your soft breathing told him you had fallen asleep.
“Seems like I’ll be the one to get you to bed after all.” He chuckled. “Sleep well, my love.”
I actually wanted to add a few more scenarios to this, but since it is quite long already I decided to post a second part instead, so stay tuned for that.
“I don’t like him”, Jack said as he joined Poe.
For the past couple of minutes Poe had been watching you. Not only were you wearing a beautiful, maybe slightly too tight, shirt that brought out your eyes, you were also talking to a new recruit.
“He’s been staring at her chest for at least five minutes now”, Poe added. Even though he was surprised he and Jack agreed on something, he tried not to let it show. One wrong move or comment could make the other man hate him again.
“Does (Y/N) not realize he’s flirting with her? Or is she actually into... him?”
Jack turned away from his younger sister and the new recruit to look at Poe.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t realize, she’s oblivious to your flirting, after all.”
Poe opened his mouth to deny ever flirting with (Y/N) but a single look from Jack silenced him. Before either of the men could say anything else they were distracted by your laugh sounding through the hanger.
“Perhaps you should go over there and get her away from that creep”, Jack suggested. His tone was even icier than anything he had ever said to Poe.
The commander looked at him in shock. “
“You want me to go over there? Why?”
Jack took his time answering, instead he kept staring daggers at the recruit who now had his hand on your shoulder and was getting closer to you.
“(Y/N) will kill me if I intertwine. And I don’t hate you, I just don’t like you getting close to my sister. She’s too good for you.”
The confession stunned Poe. Jack didn’t hate him, of course that didn’t mean he liked him, but at least he didn’t hate him. Deep down Poe always knew Jack was being hostile because he was trying to protect you, but this statement basically confirmed his suspensions.
“At least we can agree on that, (Y/N) really is too good for me”, Poe finally said.
It was something Poe knew deep down, but hated to admit to Jack. You were everything that was good in the galaxy, like the eye of a tornado you were a beacon of hope, you offered peace and a kind smile to those around you. Where you brought peace in the middle of a war, Poe was a soldier, through and through. Where you followed orders and did you job, Poe was headstrong and took too many risks. It wasn’t just that Poe thought you were too good for him, you were too good to be true, simply as that.
“Are you ever gonna go over there or are you gonna watch that creep feel my sister up?”, Jack asked, pulling Poe from his thoughts.
Yes, the new recruit was getting closer to you. He now had his hands on your hips and was swaying with you, almost as if the two of you were dancing. And while you hadn’t told him to back off, you didn’t look to comfortable either. It was about time Poe stepped in.
“I’ll make sure he’ll leave her alone”, Poe promised the other man. Without waiting for a response he walked right over to the two of you.
Your back was to Poe, but he could still see your entire body relaxing the moment you heard his voice.
“(Y/N), I haven’t seen you all day. I missed you”, he said.
Poe was unsure of the best way to handle the situation, so he just decided to ignore the other guy for now.
He stepped closer and put an arm around your shoulder before pressing a kiss to your temple. Instantly the recruit let go of you and took a step back.
“I had no idea the two of you were a thing”, he said, finally forcing Poe to turn his attention to him.
Because he didn’t quite know what to say Poe opted for a moment of silence. He removed his arm from around your shoulders and placed it on you waist instead, rubbing soft circles where the recruit had touched you earlier. He pulled you even closer when he felt you leaning into the embrace, a warm, happy feeling overtaking his nerves.
“We’re not”, you finally said. “Poe is my best friend.”
The feeling didn’t vanish, but for just a moment it dulled a bit. Of course Poe knew you were friends, just friends, but sometimes he didn’t want to be reminded of that small detail. Especially when others though the two of you were dating.
“Is that so?”, the other man looked from you to Poe and back again. “So I guess there is no reason you can’t go out with me.”
Even though Poe didn’t think it was possible, you leaned even closer into his body. Your discomfort was clear from how tense your body got.
“I’m sorry, Matt. But I’m just not interested.”
Matt stepped closer to you once again, while trying to keep his distance from Poe.
“So you’re seeing someone else?”
And just like that Poe’s heart stopped. He knew, of course he knew he was your best friend after all, that you were single, but there was a tiny part of him that dreaded your answer.
“I am not seeing anyone. I’m just not interested in going out with you.”
Matt looked you up and down. A dark glow rose in his eyes.
“I bet I could change your mind, though. Give me a chance, babe, and I promise you won’t regret it.”
It was when he stepped even closer to you and reached out to touch you again, completely ignoring Poe’s presence, that Poe started seeing red.
“Listen, (Y/N) does not need a reason not to be interested in you. And she certainly doesn’t need a boyfriend as an excuse not to go out with you, you-”
“That’s enough!”, your voice cut Poe off before he could call the other man something he might come to regret.
You gently removed Poe’s arm from your waist and took a step away from him.
“Poe is right”, you said to Matt. “When someone says they’re not interested you should back off, whether they are dating someone else or not. Otherwise you’re signalling that you respect another man’s, or woman’s though I doubt that is the case with you, presence more than a simple no. No means no, no matter the reason.”
In that moment Poe realized three things. One, you could stay calm and keep your cool even when you were furious, a quality he admired in Leia and had never realized you possessed as well. Two, you didn’t need anyone’s protection. Not his, not Jack’s, not anyone’s. And three, he was hopelessly in love with you.
Without another word, and with his head held high, Matt turned around and disappeared down a nearby corridor. The moment he was out of sight all the held up tension left your body. You turned to Poe with the sweetest smile on your face and he felt his knees go weak.
“Thank you, my love, for trying to defend me. I shouldn’t have let this go on for that long, however, I think I led him on.”
Not wasting a single second Poe pulled you into his arms. Your body was warm and soft against his and he could smell something that was distinctly you, a mixture of the standard shampoo everyone in the resistance used, the tea you drank for breakfast every day and just a hint of grease from spending time in the hanger.
“Do not, for one second, blame yourself. You were just being nice and he tried to take advantage of that. I’m gonna talk to Leia and get him kicked out. We might need fighters, but not badly enough to put up with fuckers like that.”
A quiet laugh made your whole body vibrate in Poe’s arms.
“I appreciate that, but I think I’m gonna talk to her myself. Maybe a stern lecture is all he needs, to make sure he doesn’t bother anyone again. I’d rather never see him again, but we need every helping hand we can get and he didn’t hurt me or anything.”
Poe hated to admit it, but you were right. Of course he couldn’t get anyone he didn’t like kicked out and he was sure Leia would have told him the same thing.
“But if he ever tries anything like that again, with you or anyone else, he’s gone”, Poe agreed.
He felt you nod against his chest and pulled your arms even tighter around Poe.
You were glad he had stepped in, even though you could handle it yourself, knowing he was right there next to you and could step in anytime gave you courage. And whether he had come over because your brother, who you knew was glaring at Poe right this second, had told him to, because he wanted to be a good friend or because, as a small part of you hoped, he was jealous of someone else flirting with you, you were glad he was here.
Summary: Your friend convinced you to try this dating app and while your date is cute and nice, there is just something about his flatmate...
Warnings: Mentions of Covid19
You hated to admit how nervous you were, especially because there was no reason to be nervous. It was just a date, hundreds of thousands of people went on first dates every day, there was no reason to be nervous. Besides, you had already talked to Finn on the dating app, on the phone and in a zoom call, he was nice and funny and easy to talk to, going on a walk with him, in a park full of other people, should be a piece of cake. And yet you were nervous.
This is all Rose’s fault, you thought to yourself. It was Rose who had convinced you to try a dating app. “To meet new people”, were her exact words. True, due to the pandamic you didn’t know anyone in the town you moved to for university, but you were not sure a dating app was the right way to meet people, especially since you weren’t even really looking for a relationship.
You glanced at your phone that you still had in your hand from texting Rose you had arrived at the spot you were supposed to meet Finn. He was a few minutes late already.
“Sorry, I know I’m late.”
The already somewhat familiar voice made you look up from your phone. Finn stood right in front of you, both hands in the pockets of his jeans and an apologetic smile on his lips.
“Rey had car troubles and needed a helping hand and I just couldn’t refuse her.” It took you a moment to place the name. Finn had told you quite a bit about his friends, but then it dawned on you that Rey was his flatmate, or one of his flatmates at least.
“It’s fine, you’re just a few minutes late and I’ve heard worse excuses.”
Finn raised an eyebrow.
“Does that mean you’ve been stood up?”
Right as the words left his mouth the smile fell from his lips. He opened his mouth and closed it again.
“(Y/N), I am so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not as if I think you should be stood up, I just sometimes speak before I can think and-”
“It’s fine. I was just talking about my friends, they’re never on time.”
You could pratically feel the tension leaving Finn’s body.
“You’d hate Poe then, he’s always late.”
Poe was another one of Finn’s flatmates, you remembered, as well as his best friend.
“I wouldn’t judge someone based solely on their time management, I’m usually early anyways.”
For a moment Finn just looked at you, it was as if you could feel his eyes staring into your soul and if he weren’t so kind it would be downright creepy.
“You’re new in town, aren’t you? How about we walk over to the best ice cream shop around?”
And just like that the awkward silcen was interrupted. You smiled and nodded, ice cream always sounded great.
Half an hour later you sat on a park bench, both with an ice cream cone in hand, having an easy conversation.
Finn, you learned, was an only child, though his best friends were like siblings to him. He was three weeks younger than you, on the dot, and hated stracciatelle for unknown reasons.
“Once the cinemas open again I really have to take you to this small one at the other end of town. It’s a bit more expensive than the big chains, but the popcorn is to die fo- Poe?”, Finn interrupted his sentence.
You looked at him with a raised eyebrow but his gaze was fixed on the man walking towards you.
“Finn, hi.”
The other man, appearently this was Poe, put friendly hand on Finn’s shoulder and then looked over at you.
“And you must be (Y/N), right?”
You didn’t know whether it was his smile and the way he said your name but all of the sudden you felt yourself blushing and at a loss for words. Luckily though it only lasted a second, you were brought back to reality when you reminded yourself that you were on a date with Finn, who you really liked, and not his goodlooking friend.
“That’s me.”
Before either you or Poe could say anything else or fall into an awkward silence Finn spoke again.
“What are you even doing here? Don’t you have a shift starting in a few minutes?”
Poe finally let his eyes fall away from you and turned back to his friend. You weren’t sure whether you should be glad or sad that you no longer held his attention.
“They’re not busy today so Leia told me to take the day off. I decided to spend some quality time with Beebee instead.”
Must be his girlfriend, you though and immediatly scolded yourself for the though. Finn was your date. Not Poe, Finn. “Where is he then?”, Finn asked and looked around.
He, you replayed Finn’s word in your mind. Boyfriend then. Should be obvious that a guy like Poe is in a relationship.
“What do you mean, he’s right... I mean he was right here next to me...”
Now Poe looked around again and you tried not to take the opportunity to stare at the way his dark curls moved when he moved his head.
“Beebee, come here boy”, Poe called. Nobody came, so he started whisteling.
“Is that really the best way to call your boyfriend?”, you asked.
Poe had seemed nice at first, but you couldn’t tolerate his behaviour towards his significant other, and were suprised Finn wasn’t bothered by it.
“My what? I don’t have a boyfriend. Beebee is my- here he is!”
You looked down at Poe’s feet where a small dog with white and orangy-red fur stood. You weren’t quite sure what breed he was but there seemed to be at least a bit of corgi in there.
“(Y/N), may I introduce you to Beebee. As you can see he is not my boyfriend, but rather my best friend.”
Poe knelt down to pet his furry companion just as Finn let out an annoyed “Hey!”.
“My dog best friend, of course. Finn is my human best friend.”
While Finn looked satisfied with this correction Beebee now seemed offended. But that ceased quickly when you knelt down in front of him.
“Hey, buddy”, you smiled as you reached out his hand for the dog to sniff. He gave it a quick lick which you interpreted as permission to pet him.
“You’re a little cutie, aren’t you? What are you- Hey, that’s my ice cream.”
Beebee either didn’t listen or didn’t care because he reached for your cone with his tongue.
You stood up again to get the ice cream away from the dog and looked to Poe.
“It almost looks as if you don’t feed him enough”, you joked.
For what felt like an eternity Poe didn’t answer, he just looked at you with an unreadable expression. It wasn’t until Finn gave him a light kick that he replied.
“I guess that means I should give him his dinner. And leave you to your date, of course.”
He gave Finn a warm smile before turning to you.
“It was very nice to meet you, (Y/N).”
There it was again, the way he said your name did something to you. You couldn’t help but smile at him.
“Likewise, Poe.”
Before you could sit down next to Finn again Poe and his dog were gone.
“Usually I’d say the first date is too soon to meet my friends, but the two of you really hit it off”, Finn said.
You looked at him. Was he mad that you had run into Poe? Should you have paid less attention to his friend and Beebee and more to Finn? How were you supposed to ask that?
“It’s getting dark soon, but I’d like to see you again sometime”, Finn told you before you could say anything.
You nodded.
“I’d like that.”
Just a short week later you met up with Finn again. While you had wanted the first meeting to be in a public place, even though you had already gotten to know each other in videochats, you were now comfortable enough to visit him in his flat.
“Would you like anything to drink?”, Finn asked from the small kitchen.
“Whatever you’re having is fine, I’m not that fussy with drinks”, you called back.
From your spot on the living room couch you could hear Finn rummaging through the fridge. Meanwhile you looked around. The room was quite big, just a little smaller than your one-room-flat, but since Finn shared his flat with both Poe and Rey it made perfect sense for it to be bigger. Though it was tidier than you had expected from a flat where two men lived. The shelves on one wall were filled with all kinds of books, board games, video games and little trinkets. Right next to it was a dog bed that was more than just a little too big for Beebee, as well as a box filled with dog toys, a water and a food bowl.
Your gaze went over to the wall above the TV, on which a multitude of pictures hung. Most of them showed the three flatmates, often joined by Beebee and sometimes other unfamiliar faces, in all types of situations. In a park, in the snow, out in some sort of pub or club, at uni or just in the flat.
One picture of Poe and Rey with three elderly people especially caught your eye. That must be their respective parents, you thought.
“I see you found our wall of memories”, Finn remarked as he entered the living room. He sat down next to you and placed a tall glass in front of you.
“I thought a diet coke would be the safest choice.”
You managed to squeeze in a “Thank you” before Finn started talking again.
“As you can see most pictures are just Rey, Poe and me, but there are some of our other friends as well. And Beebee of course. And Leia, Luke and Han.”
He looked at you with a smile.
“Perhaps you’ll meet them one day. Leia and Luke own the restaurant where Poe and Rey work and Han, he’s Leia’s husband, works there as well. Though they’re more like family than just employers now. Other than this flat the restaurant our favourite hang out spot.”
Around an hour later you were interrupted in the middle of the movie.
Lazily you lifted your head from Finn’s shoulder to look at the intruder.
It was Poe, followed by a pretty brunette you recognized as Rey.
“(Y/N), hi. I didn’t know you’d be here”, Poe greeted you.
Rey shot him a look that seemed to say that he did know, but that couldn’t be, right? After all, why would Poe lie?
“You’re welcome to join”, Finn offered. “As long as (Y/N) is fine with it.”
Even if you hadn’t been, how could you say no to that?
As if he’d been waiting for the invitation Poe sat down next to you. A little closer than he had to, due to the big sofa, but you didn’t complain.
Rey followed suit and sat down next to Finn. Just a second later Beebee, who you only just noticed had come into the flat with the two of them, settled down at her feet.
“Traitor”, Poe muttered under his breath.
You turned to him and raised an eyebrow.
“So you’re the jealous type?”
He shrugged, though a small smile stole onto his face.
“Usually not, but Beebee only prefers Rey because she bought a gigantic box of his favourite treats and gives them to him whenever he wants one.”
You couldn’t help but laugh.
“It’s not my fault you don’t feed your dog food he actually likes”, Rey shot back from her end of the couch.
You looked from her to Poe, only just catching Finn rolling his eyes. This seemed to be a common argument between them.
“I do feed him! Do you have any idea how expensive the organic dog food is I buy him? It’s not my fault healthy food isn’t always the most delicious.”
“Can we please get back to the movie?”, Finn asked in a slightly annoyed voice. He really did seem tired of the discussion.
For a few minutes it was quiet. Though you felt as if someone was constantly watching you, but that might just be Poe and Rey continuing their conversation through looks over your head.
“Hey, Finn, remember when you promised to have a look at my paper? I have to hand it in tomorrow morning”, Rey interrupted the silence.
You expected Finn to tell her he’d do it later, he was still on a date with you after all. But instead he jumped up immediately.
“Sure thing! Poe, why don’t you stay with (Y/N) while I’m gone?”
And just like that Rey and Finn disappeared down the hall.
Right after they were gone Beebee jumped up onto the spot Finn had vacated next to you and snuggled up close to you. Absentmindedly you ran a hand through the dog’s soft fur.
“Beebee is an excellent judge of character. It means a lot that he likes you.”
You looked over at Poe. Though it was dark and only the TV was lighting up the room you could have sworn he was blushing.
“I’m glad. I really like him too.”
Although you meant the dog you suddenly weren’t sure he’s the only one you were talking about.
“You’re still Finn’s date though”, said Poe.
That remark was definitely not just about Beebee.
You looked at Poe.
“I know. And I really do like Finn, just not in a romantic way.”
Part of you wanted to add that there is someone you could picture yourself one day falling in love with, someone you had met through Finn, but you didn’t dare to.
“To be honest, I think Finn doesn’t like you that way either.”
You waited for Poe to add something else but he just looked at you, right into your eyes. But for a split second you could have sworn his eyes went down to your lips.
“Perhaps I should talk to Finn then. We could still hang out as friends.”
Poe nodded just as the credits started rolling. Though neither of you moved to get the remote.
“Then you’d be looking for someone else to date”, Poe finally said after a few moments of silence.
You had no idea what to make of that statement. Was he glad you wouldn’t be dating Finn? Did he want you to find a boyfriend? Or was he maybe implying something?
“To be honest, I’m not even looking for a relationship. My friend Rose just made me get a dating profile so I’d meet new people.”
Just as the words left your lips Finn and Rey reappeared and the atmosphere seemed to change.
“How about we all get something to eat?”, Rey suggested.
Though you weren’t really hungry you wanted to take the opportunity to spend more time with the people you hoped would become your friends, as well as the one person who might be more than a friend.
That same day, on your way to the restaurant to pick up your order, you told Finn that you were not interested in him in a romantic way and just as Poe had suggested, he felt the same way. That was the start of a wonderful friendship, you started to spend most of your free time with Finn and his friends. And while you considered Rey and Finn good friends, you soon realized that your feelings towards Poe were just different. Every time he sat or stood a bit closer than he had to your heart started beating faster and you felt a sense of comfort at the same time. He was kind and funny and so good looking, you just couldn’t help your developing crush.
Today it was especially obvious. You were alone with Poe, Finn was out and Rey had to work, so you sat at the small kitchen table, both enveloped in your uni work.
“Do you know another word for pretty?”, you asked.
You were writing an essay about the protagonist of a novel you had read for class and were in desperate need of synonyms.
“Beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, (Y/N).”
No matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t fight the blush that crept up your neck. Most of the time Poe was simply friendly, but sometimes he said things like that, things that were just too flirty for friends, and you didn’t know what to make of his comments.
“Love, are you blushing?”, he asked.
Today seems to be an especially flirtatious day, you though to yourself. Usually when Poe dropped such a comment it was just one, not calling you pretty and a pet name within just a few seconds.
“Who wouldn’t blush to hear your sorry attempts at flirting?”, you joked.
You could have sworn Poe’s expression turned a bit darker. Maybe you had taken it a bit too far.
“I’ll have you know that people usually like when I flirt with them.”
You didn’t know what to reply. Of course people liked when Poe flirted with them, you’d enjoy it as well, if only he really meant it. But you both knew that you were strictly friends. After all, you had told him you were not looking for a relationship and he kept on flirting and making out and probably a bunch of other things with others anytime you went out together.
“In that case it seems like you never met anyone with taste”, you teased.
With a smile he closed his laptop and looked straight at you. You felt heat rushing to your cheeks at his intense stare, but tried to hold your own and didn’t let your eyes leave his.
“Maybe I should just show you what your’re missing out on, darling.”
You were stunned. What should you answer to that? Did he mean it, was he really trying to flirt or was it just a game to him?
Poe seemed to interpret your silence in his own way.
“But I know you’re not looking for a boyfriend.”
His gaze moved from your eyes down to the table. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and bit it softly, a gesture that drew your eyes right down to his kissable lips.
“Poe, are you... were you actually trying to flirt with me? I thought you were joking.”
He looked back up at you, eyes wide open. His left hand moved to ruffle through his curls while his right reached for your hand, which was twisting with your water bottle.
“I confess, there are a lot of things I don’t take serious and joke about, but you’re not one of them. I don’t know why, but from the moment I saw you I was intrigued. But then I realized you were on a date with my best friend and you seemed to get along, so I tried to back off. I guess I wasn’t as discreet as I wanted to be, though. Rey quickly noticed and tried to push us together and every moment I spend with you I realize just how amazing you are, how much I’m falling in love with you.”
Any time you had been speechless before was nothing compared to this. No one had ever confessed a crush on you, let alone told you they were falling for you, and here was Poe, beautiful, funny, kind Poe, telling you what you never dreamed he would tell you.
Suddenly it made sense why he always sat so close to you, why Rey kept shooting him looks whenever you hung out together, why Finn often canceled last minute, leaving you alone with Poe.
“Have Rey and Finn been trying to set us up?”, you asked.
Poe looked down at your intertwined hands resting on the table. Slowly he nodded.
“After Rey realized how I feel she immediately told Finn, even though I begged her not to. I though Finn felt the same way, I just didn’t see a reason why he wouldn’t, but it turns out he only ever thought of you as a friend and was glad I like you.”
You could tell all this confessing made him nervous, especially since you haven’t said a word yourself. You stroked his hand with your thumb, slow, soft motions that immediately seemed to relax him.
“You know, I really wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. Downloading a dating app was my friend Rose’s idea in the first place, but it turned out great. I might not have been looking for a boyfriend, but then I met this really cute guy and event though I hadn’t planned it, I started liking him, really liking him. How could I not, with his sweet smile and funny jokes and concern for me and his friends, plus he has this super cute dog and any guy who’s good with animals is boyfriend material.”
While you were talking Poe’s eyebrows kept raising. You could tell he was hoping that you were talking about him, but there was just a little hint of doubt in his expression.
“What do you say, should we relieve Rey and Finn of their efforts and tell them we’re dating?”, you asked.
For a few seconds Poe just started at you, but within a moment he leaped up from his chair at the other end of the table and swept you in his arms.
“I think they’d be glad to hear it, my love.”
Poe let go of you with a smile on his face. You just looked at him, eyes bright, unruly hair, the sun shining on the side of his face. Only a bark made you tear your eyes away from him.
Poe glanced down at Beebee, who was standing between the two of you.
“I think he’s trying to tell us something”, you grinned.
“I think he just wants us to kiss already”, Poe returned.
As if to confirm the dog barked again and both of you laughed.
But once the laughter died out you finally felt Poe’s soft lips on yours. A soft sight escaped your mouth as you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer. Your hands found their way into his hair, pulling it slightly, which made Poe moan and you smile into the kiss.
When you finally let go to catch your breath both of you were smiling.
“You know, you might have said people who enjoy my flirting don’t have taste, but based on how you just kissed me you’re on top of that list”, he grinned.
You just rolled your eyes and pulled him closer again.
“Less talking, more kissing”, you mumbled against his lips.
At your feet Beebee barked again, clearly the dog agreed. As did your boyfriend, when he captured your lips with his once again.
You had met Eggsy almost a year ago when he joined the Kingsman. You had been working for the organisation for about six months at that point and everything had gone smooth.
Until he burst into your life and decided to spend each and every second flirting with you.
Saying there was no tension was a lie. But you knew there was no way he could seriously be interested in you and you weren’t looking for a relationship anyway.
But after months of flirting it finally happened. Roxy had asked the two of you to join her for a small birthday celebration after work, but after just half an hour in the pub she had chosen she wandered off with some guy and left you and Eggsy all alone.
So you started talking. About the job at first, then about life outside of work, friends, family, relationships.
You admitted that you weren’t looking for a boyfriend, which forced a weird look on your friend’s face.
After a few seconds however he started grinning.
“But you still wanna have some fun, right?”
And so you went home with him that night. And many nights to come.
You both knew it was just to blow off some steam, to experiment and try out things you wouldn’t dare trying with a significant other.
And you agreed that you would end the arrangement if one of you starts dating.
You had a bad feeling when you opened the door and as always your gut was right.
Eggsy was lying on the bed, wearing nothing but a underwear. A bottle of champagne, two glasses and a few lit candles were on the nightstand next to him.
He shot you a look that clearly told you to take your clothes off. And to be honest it send a shiver down your spine. How could a nearly naked Eggsy leave you unaffected?
But you stayed strong and sat down on the edge of the bed, not even taking off your coat.
Eggsy immediately noticed something was off. He sat down next to you and put a hand on your arm. A friendly gesture, nothing more.
“What’s wrong?”
You took his other hand and gave it a squeeze. No easy tasks since his hand was laying pretty high up his thigh.
“Nothing, it’s just... You know the guy I told you about? The waiter at this little café I like? The one who asked me out?”
Eggsy nodded. He had a bad feeling about this.
“Well, I agreed to go on a date and it went so well. So we went on another date and then another yesterday and we agreed... to be exclusive. To be in a relationship, so-”
“You’re ending this?! I thought you weren’t even looking for a relationship and now you’re suddenly in love with some bloke?”
A part of Eggsy knew that he had no right to be offended, that their arrangement wasn’t meant to last. But it worked, he enjoyed every second and he was sure you did as well.
“You see, there is a difference between not looking for something and stumbling upon something. And I never said I’m in love with him, but I like him and he likes me and I want to give us a try. It’s not like I’m ending our friendship, we’ll just stop having sex.”
Eggsy nodded, though he didn’t seem convinced.
You squeezed his hand again.
“He’s a good guy, you’ll see. Maybe I could bring him to the pub tomorrow. Would it ease your mind if you met him?”
What else could Eggsy do but agree?
You smiled at him and pressed a kiss on his cheek before saying goodbye.
At the door you were met with an expectant glance from JB. It was like the dog could look into your soul.
“I know it might be a mistake, but I’m better off with a guy I could fall in love with over time than someone who only sees me as a friend to warm his bed”, you told the pug.
The next evening you found yourself waiting outside the pub closest to the Kingsman tailor for your new boyfriend.
Boyfriend, when you heard the word you had always thought of someone else. Someone who would probably be mad at your for the rest of your life.
“I know I’m late, I couldn’t decide what to wear”, you heard a voice behind you.
Swift like the trained fighter you are you turned around to face your boyfriend.
Matthew Smith. Matt. A regular name for a totally regular guy. Nowhere near as funny or extraordinary as the man of your dreams.
“It’s fine, you look good”, you told him with a quick peck on the lips.
You took a deep breath and simultaneously took Matt’s hand and opened the door. He just wasn’t gentleman enough to open it for you.
As soon as you entered you could hear Eggsy. A knot formed in your stomach but you just took another breath and pulled Matt over the table your coworkers were occupying.
“Everyone, this is Matt, my boyfriend”, you introduced him.
Harry, ever the gentleman, offered the two of you a seat and for once Matt had the manners to pull out your chair before sitting down himself.
“So I hear you’re a waiter?”, Merlin asked.
Matt nodded. He seemed quite uncomfortable and you had to admit that it might be a bit weird to introduce him to your coworkers where others introduced their boyfriends to their parents. But the Kingsmen were the closest thing you had to family and their opinions really mattered to you, if they thought something about Matt was off you couldn’t imagine a future with him.
“Does that job provide enough money for a comfortable life? (Y/N) deserves the best and I can’t see you providing for her, a dog and possibly children.”
You fought hard not to roll your eyes at Eggsy’s ridiculous question.
“He doesn’t have to provide for me or Cheddar. And children are out of the question.”
Eggsy raised an eyebrow and leaned closer from the other side of the table.
“Really? Because I remember you telling me that you’d like to have children one day and at least for a while that would require you to stay home and-”
“That is quite enough Eggsy. I need your help getting a few drinks”, Harry interrupted and pulled the young man with him to the bar.
You shook your head but before you could apologize for your friend’s behaviour Roxy did it for you.
“We’re certain he was dropped on his head as a baby”, she said with a smirk.
Matt laughed a little and put his arm around you. The simple gesture seemed to relax him, as did the sight of the pint Harry placed on the table in front of him.
He thanked him and drowned half of it in one go.
Roxy shot you a glance. You knew what she was thinking about, Eggsy drank in the same way.
Speaking of the devil you felt a pair of soft warm lips on your cheek, but not the side Matt was sitting on.
You janked your arm around and grabbed a hand full of Eggsy’s hair, though due to the amount of slippery product in it you couldn’t hold on for long.
“I was just giving you your favourite drink”, he shrugged as he placed a gin in front of you.
And a second later placed another kiss on your cheek before sitting down again.
You caught Merlin rolling his eyes and Harry grinning at Roxy. They knew something you didn’t.
“I’m sure (Y/N) has told you all about us but we know so little about you”, Eggsy smiled.
Oh, that smile. It seemed innocent if you didn’t know him but to those who were familiar with Eggsy and his behaviour it was code red.
Matt told them a bit about himself. Though everyone was polite enough to listen you noticed their bored expressions. That’s probably why it didn’t take Harry and Merlin long to excuse themselves and head home.
That left you with Roxy, Eggsy and Matt. And an awkward silence.
“Matt, how about we grab another round?”, you suggested after a while of silent staring.
He quickly agreed and you made your way to the bar.
There were quite a lot of people so it would take the bartender a while to notice you and prepare your drinks. Long enough for a conversation.
“Your coworkers are... intense...”, Matt admitted.
You nodded, risking a glance back to your table where Roxy and Eggsy seemed to be in a heated conversation.
“We’re a tight little group, we look out for one another.”
Matt leaned against the bar. He looked from you to the table and back again.
“And what about that Eggsy? You used to date, didn’t you?”
A blush crept up your face. How were you supposed to explain Eggsy to someone who didn’t know him? And how were you supposed to explain your twisted feelings without Matt storming off.
You put a hand on his shoulder and leaned a little closer.
Matt looked from your eyes to your lips to your clevage of which you had, unintentionally, given him a good look.
You looked deep into his eyes and placed your other hand on his hand.
“We’re friends. We used to flirt a bit and when we first met I had a slight crush on him but that’s it. We’r friends now. Just friends.”
How you wished that were true. If only you and Eggsy were friends and you really were in love with Matt and not just using him to get over the one you really loved.
Matt used his free hand to tilt your chin up a bit. He leaned closer until your lips met. He wasn’t a bad kisser, but there were no sparks, no firework, not even a slight tingle. Not like with Eggsy. Simple looking at him made you feel more than anything with Matt ever would. And you knew you had to tell him the truth before leading him on too much.
“I don’t like him”, Eggsy said for the tenth time.
Roxy sight.
“I know. You don’t like him. You hate him. You want him as far away as possible. But let’s be honest, you wouldn’t like anyone (Y/N) dates.”
Eggsy tore his eyes from you and Matt at the bar and looked at his friend.
“What do you mean?”
“You wouldn’t like any of her boyfriends because you like her.”
Eggsy opened his mouth to protest but with a shake of Roxy’s head he fell quiet.
“Do you really think we didn’t know about your “arrangement”? (Y/N) told me herself and the others figured it out pretty quick. And you’ve been in a bad mood for the last couple of days because she broke it off. Because you miss her and realized that you would have to do more than fucking her to build a relationship.”
Eggsy knew that, he knew you deserved more than being friends with benefits. And ha had a plan. On New Years Eve, just one month away, he could confess his feelings and kiss you at midnight. He even had a confession written down. But he tore the paper to pieces after he’d been told about Matthew.
“What am I supposed to do?”, Eggsy asked.
Roxy pointed over to the bar.
“Get him to lay off and tell her how you feel. It’s not too late, I have a feeling it might never be too late.”
“What do you mean?”
Roxy took the last sip of her beer and patted her friend’s shoulder.
“I mean that she likes you too. I can tell from the way she looks at you. Her smile. She could never like Matt like she likes you.”
And finally it dawned on Eggsy. The smiles. The touches. Her worry when he went on a mission. Her need to hold him close at night. Her need for him in general.
“Alright, that’s it. That arsehole is staring right down the front of her blouse, I’m putting a stop to it”
Roxy gave him a thumbs up, which he didn’t see since Eggsy was already halfway to the bar.
“Excuse me, darling”, he said, tapping you on the shoulder.
The familiar voice brought a smile to your face as you turned around.
“What is it?”
Eggsy was at a loss for words when he saw her kiss swollen lips. Those perfect lips he had kissed so many times and wanted to kiss every day for the rest of his life.
“I... Well... I...”
He looked at Matt who shot him death glares.
And before you could turn around and continue your conversation or even leave the pub he leaned closer.
Your glance passed between Eggsy’s eyes and his lips. His lips, which were coming closer and closer.
Suddenly you knew what he wanted to tell you. You knew what he was gonna do. And you knew that your dream had come true.
You leaned closer and firmly pressed your lips to his.
Warm, soft, familiar. And firework. And sparks. And butterflies. Kissing Eggsy was everything kissing Matt wasn’t.
You separated from lack of air and heard angry muttering and the pub door slamming shut before opening your eyes. And without turning around you knew Matt had left and it was just you and Eggsy.
“I missed you. I missed you ever since you walked out of my apartment just a few days ago. I missed hearing you laugh and scream and falling asleep to your soft breath. And JB misses you too.”
You smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Eggsy’s lips.
“Anything else?”
He nodded.
“I love you. I wanna be with you and see you and kiss you and touch you every day for the rest of my life. I love you so much.”
You took his hand. His sweaty hand from nervous confessions and fear of rejection.
“I love you too. Always have, always will.”
Now it was his turn to kiss you again.
“What about not looking for a relationship?”
You giggled.
“I said that because I didn’t need to look, I had already found you but I was scared to admit my feelings.”
Summary: After months of being away on a mission you return just in time for the annual Stark Industries gala, and to meet the newest member of the Avengers, who is... not from this world
NO SPOILERS - SET IN KIND OF AN AU WHERE NEITHER INFINITY WAR NOR ENDGAME EVER HAPPENED AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY
You fell into the soft seat and threw your dirty, sweaty and bloody jacket in the corner.
“Couldn’t you have picked me up like ten minutes earlier? And maybe in a car or something, not a fucking jet!”
Your mission had been tough at first, getting members of various gang to trust you so you could unite them against their common enemy only to have most of them kill each other and arrest the survivors. Sam, Okoye and Maria Hill were supposed to pick them up and deliver them to various authorities. But then Clint and Bucky just had to fly in with their stupid Quinjet minutes before you could hunt the last gang member down and have her brought to justice.
“Sam called and told us you were following one of them and that she had a large knife, you didn’t even have pepperspray!”, Clint defended their decision to pick you up too early rather than too late and in pieces.
You rolled your eyes and watched Bucky turn a few switches before starting the engine and taking off. Meanwhile Clint was going over details for something, they were talking to low for you to understand. Okoye spreading a bright blue creeam on one of Maria’s nastier wounds.
You just sat in your co-pilot seat and stared straight ahead. As if an untrained woman with a knife was reason enough to rush in and save you, a trained spy and assassin. The rescue attempt had lead to her and a few other villains getting away.
“We said we’re sorry. We know you worked long and hard on that mission and had no right to do anything without your consent”, Bucky said with a side glance to you.
You scoffed. He was right, you had asked Sam, Okoye and Maria for help, not the two dorks. But you also knew you had to forgive them eventually, mostly because both Bucky and Clint could annoy you to no end until you gave them what they wanted. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t secretly hold a grudge.
A few hours later you fell into bed. Clean, but exhausted.
You were about to fall asleep when a knock on the door woke you up again.
You mumbled some words, unable to move or even open your eyes.
The door creaked and your matres sunk next to you. A soft hand pushed the hair away from your face. You felt yourself smiling before you knew it.
“Bruce... What is it?”
“Tony wanted me to personally invite you to his Stark Industries gala tonight.”
Slowly you opened your eyes. Much like you, Bruce looked like he hasn’t slept much the past few days.
“And if I refuse?”
He raised an eyebrow and smiled.
“You know Tony, don’t you? The music and gossip and laughter will be so loud, as long as your on the premises you will always feel like your in the middle of the dance floor.”
A sigh escaped your lips. You knew Bruce was right.
“Black tie, I assume?”
Bruce nodded, his unruly curls jumping up and down.
“Natasha took the liberty of choosing a dress and shoes and whatever else for you, it should be in your closet.”
That’s when you really knew there was no way to escape this event. But if you had to attend you might as well sleep for a few hours before getting ready.
“When does it start?”
Five hours later you entered the living room. A buffet was spread over the length of the large room, with a bar at each end and people standing and talking all over the place.
“I’m glad you could make it.”
The familiar voice made you turn around.
“I can’t believe you came all the way from Wakanda for this”, you grinned.
T’Challa shrugged.
“Tony can be very persuasive.”
You nodded and started making your way to the buffet, you hadn’t eaten all day. T’Challa followed you and fixed himself a plate as well.
“How have things been these past few months?”
The king piled salad on his plate, thinking about your question.
“Nothing has changed much. Okoye really admires the way you handled your mission. And Shuri says she misses your fashion advise.”
You smiled at the memory of helping the young princess picking out various new outfits during your short visit to Wakanda last summer.
“I see your still into elaborate dresses.”
T’Challa gestured at your dress.
Natasha really had done a great job choosing a dress you would have brought yourself. It was a simple black dress with a few lace details around the arms, waist and knees. By contrast the shoes and the necklace were both sparkling in silver.
After a few more minutes of conversation and finishing your dinner you excused yourself to catch up with a few other friends.
It was getting darker by the second, so Tony ordered everyone outside to watch a firework show he had designed for this occasion.
That’s where you finally bumped into the host himself and the Norse god beside him.
“The food, the music, the decoration, everything is simply magnificent, Tony.”
With a slight bow he accepted the compliment, but before he could say anything Thor started talking.
“(Y/N), have you met the newest member of our team yet?”
You opened your mouth in shock and glared at your friends.
“You allowed a new member without consulting me? I thought we were a team!”
Tony opened his mouth to reply but once again Thor interrupted him.
“I don’t think you will object because this new member is very special to me, has excellent manners and very useful skills.”
You raised an eyebrow.
Thor turned around and dragged someone in a dark suit towards your small group.
“Excuse me, I was talking to Wanda and-”
“See, great manners”, Thor interrupted the man.
You looked at the blond, deciding not to say anything about his manners, before looking at the other man.
He was tall, long dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes. Incredibly familiar.
“Loki?! You’re an Avenger? They let you be an Avenger?”
Thor just smiled and nodded.
“Isn’t that great? I’ll let the two of you get acquainted.”
With a smile he dragged Tony away with him and left you alone with the god of mischief.
You had many questions, many concerns.
“How?”
Loki looked around at all the other Avengers, business people and everyone else Tony seemed fit to invite.
“Maybe we could talk somewhere more quiet?”
Alarm bells were ringing in your head, this could not be a good idea. But then again, you had survived so much and even if you went somewhere more private there was no way Loki was stupid enough to kill you with all of the Avengers around.
He lead you through the crowds still watching the fireworks towards a bench at the back of the building.
“It’s a long story, but I’m gonna give you a summary: I was king of Asgard, Thor showed up, our sister is evil, we spend some time in space, we fought our sister, lost our home planet and landed on earth. During all that Thor and I started to talk, really talk and we made up. You may not believe me, at first no one did, but I really am trying to be good and do good.”
You looked at Loki and he seemed... sincere. There was something vulnerable in his eyes, a lot of cover hurt and hope.
“You know I have no reason at all to trust you.”
He nodded.
“You tried to rule this planet.”
“That was a long time ago, I wasn’t myself back then.”
“You killed thousands.”
“I am really sorry.”
You opened your mouth but no words would come out.
Loki looked straight into your eyes and carefully took your small hands in his large ones.
The touch send a shiver through your entire body, made your blood boil and freeze at the same time.
“I did terrible, terrible things. I can’t take them back, I can only apologise and try to make up for every mistake I made.”
You were usually good at reading people, but Loki? Another chapter.
“So I’m supposed to believe you left all your mischief behind you? Even though you are, you know, the god of mischief?”
A small smile spread on Loki’s face.
“No, never. I’m not there yet, but I’m trying to focus on pranks, jokes, harmless mischief. At least in the long run. I might hurt people, be mean or cruel, but I’m working on that.”
That, at least, was something you could believe.
Loki squeezed your hands and moved a little closer.
“You know, my mother always said that a clever and pretty woman would one day bring out the best in me.”
He smiled at you. A smile full of innocence, hope, mischief and admiration.
“I take it you know all about me?”
He shrugged.
“I read all the files, but I’m sure there are stories you could still tell me, character traits I could get to know. Things you could teach me.”
He said the last part in a low, husky voice that made you question your sanity.
But you couldn’t deny that he was very handsome and intriguing.
“You know, my mother always said the best way to judge a man’s character is by the way he dances with the woman he fancies.”
Without missing a beat Loki got up from the bench, bowed down a bit and offered you his hand.
“My lady, may I have this dance?”
You couldn’t help laughing at the absurdity of the situation.
“Your brother did say you have good manners.”
You laid your hand in Loki’s and put the other on his shoulder. He pulled you closer.
“There are other things I’m good at”, he whispered in your ear.
You threw your head back laughing.
“You sure are a charmer, but how about you buy me dinner first?”
Loki twirled you around, your hair flying around your head and your necklace catching both the light of the full moon and your partner’s eyes.
“Tomorrow at seven?”
You just smiled.
“Usually I don’t go out with guys who wanted to take over my planet.”
Loki pulled you father away from the bench so the moon would shine directly at your dance.
“I’ve never danced without music before either.”
He just smiled. A smile that reached both his lips and his eyes.
“And I’ve never felt so close to someone I just met before”, you admitted in a whisper.
Suddenly Loki stopped moving, getting you to a halt as well.
He leaned down until you could feel his breath on your lips and his hair on your cheeks. Your eyes looked.
“I never met a human as brilliant as you. I never danced with a woman as beautiful as you. I never believed in love at first sight until I met you.”
Gently he pressed his lips against yours and pulled your body even closer to his own.
Time stopped and moved faster at the same time, you were happy in your own little bubble, away from the noise of the gala, away from missions, away from both good and evil.
You pulled apart to catch your breath, but Loki didn’t hesitate to rest his forehead on yours, once again your lips were only centimetres apart.
“I wanted to be good, for my brother, my newfound friends, to right all my wrongs, but now I feel like I only want to be good for you.”
You smiled and pecked his lips.
“I don’t mind a little mischief every now and then.”
I feel like the part before the reader meets Loki is way too long and the reader just gets over Loki being an Avenger way too fast, but the story just came to me and I wrote it down without really thinking, so I hope that, in a way, it will still seem natural.
Anyway, I hope you at least somewhat enjoyed it, thanks for reading
Summary: Reader starts a new job at the ministry, the only problem being her best friend’s brother who she has a complicated history with. But maybe Newt can help sort things out
You fell down on the couch next to your best friend.
“You’re early”, Newt observed.
You sighed and stroked the niffler that had made his way into your lap.
“I had a though day”, you admitted after a while.
Newt took the hand that wasn’t buried in the niffler’s fur and squeezed it with a smile.
“What happened?”
You let out a long breath and shook your head.
“I don’t know, maybe you should ask your brother...”
Newt raised an eyebrow and even the niffler suddenly seemed interested in the conversation.
“What does he have to do with anything?”
“He works right there, his office is right next to mine. At first it didn’t worry me, he has been ignoring me for years, but he started talking, like nothing happened, like he never did anything.”
Newt put an arm around you and pulled you close.
“We knew this might happen, we knew he worked in the same department.”
Of course you knew, even though Theseus Scamander was the biggest jerk on the entire planet, at least that’s what you told Newt every time you saw his brother, you had never imagined you would have to see him on a daily basis, never imagined he would still be...him.
“It can’t be all bad, he always liked you, remember back in Hogwarts?”
You did, how could you forget.
He was a year older, but he was never embarrassed to be seen with his brother and his friends.
He had helped you with your homework more times than you cared to count.
He had helped you find your way in the enormous, ever changing castle.
He had been there for you whenever you needed him.
He had been family.
Over the years you grew even closer, in your sixth year, his seventh, you were almost as close to him as you were to Newt and Leta.
He was Head Boy, of course he was. And he was good. No student wandering the halls at night could get past him, no one could escape their punishment or at least a few strict words.
At the beginning of the year however Newt was in trouble.
He had asked for your help in the forbidden forest, so one night you sneaked out of your common room and made your way there.
It was warm, summer was still in the air, nevertheless you were a bit cold in your thin silk pyjama.
You met Newt at the edge of the forest and quickly made your way deeper into the woods.
It was a wounded unicorn, Newt did most of the work healing it, but he needed your help with a few tricky spells.
It didn’t take long and you were out of the forest again and entering the castle.
In the past hour it had gotten colder, both Newt and you were shivering.
“Newton, (Y/N), I’m sure you have a good explanation as to why you’re returning at half past one at night? And what you were doing outside in the first place?”
Newt looked at his brother, you looked down at your feet, not daring to meet his eyes, not wanting to disappoint him.
“I heard the Hufflepuff Quidditch team needs someone to wash their dirty, sweaty uniforms for the next few weeks, apparently the house elves didn’t do it right, but I’m sure you would be happy to help, wouldn’t you, Newt?”
He didn’t have a chance but to nod.
“Good, now off to bed. I’m gonna have a chat with (Y/N)”, Theseus ordered.
Newt sent you a quick smile and hurried off to his common room.
Theseus looked at you, you tried to meet his eyes for the first time that night.
“What am I going to do with you, (Y/N)?”
You tried to shrug, but it was interrupted by a shiver.
Theseus grinned.
He pulled his cloak from his shoulders and gently placed it on yours. It was warm and smelled of him.
You smiled.
“I trust you acted on my brother’s wish and were only trying to help a friend out.”
You nodded, not sure where this was going.
“Go to bed, I don’t want you to catch a cold.”
To say you were surprised was an understatement.
Before Theseus could change his mind you hurried off.
“And (Y/N), don’t let me catch you again”, he called after you.
“Admit it, you always had a soft spot for her”, Newt told his brother.
Theseus was sorting through a mountain of papers on his desk.
“Maybe I was just hard on you and treated her like anyone else”, the older man remarked.
Newt shook his head.
“I’m not an expert in human interactions or emotions, I’m not even sure why (Y/N) has put up with me all these years, but I do know you.”
Theseus took a sip of his tea and mentioned for his brother to sit down in front of his desk.
“Whatever I tell you, you must promise not to tell her anything.”
Newt nodded.
“I mean, I’m not even sure if I still feel the way I did... But promise me, she can’t find out.”
“I promise.”
He took a deep breath, a small smile made his way across his face.
“(Y/N)... I knew I was in love with her in my fifth year, though I probably fell for her even before that.”
He had a glass of punch in one hand, the other resting on the table.
Most students were there already, dancing, drinking, enjoying themselves.
Theseus had promised his mother to look after his brother at the Yule Ball, so he was waiting for him.
Waiting for Newt and Leta, his date. No one else.
Just his brother.
Not (Y/N).
He kept telling himself to look out for Newt, not his best friend.
He finally saw Newt walking down the stairs, Leta by his side, wearing a gorgeous green ballgown.
But behind his brother was another girl, far more beautiful, in Theseus eyes, the most beautiful girl.
You wore a black dress that almost touched the floor, the skirt crashing against your new heels with every step you took.
Your hair was up in braids, your lips painted red and a diamond necklace around your neck.
Theseus couldn’t help himself, he walked up to you.
“Newt, Leta”, he greeted his brother and the Slytherin girl.
Finally he stopped before you.
“(Y/N), you... have cleaned up nicely.”
For once he was at a loss for words, a blush crept up his face while a smile brightened yours.
“You don’t look to bad yourself, Thee.”
It wasn’t until almost two hours later that Leta finally asked Newt to dance, the shy Hufflepuff would have never dared to ask himself.
He sent a smile your way before being swept away by the crowd on the dance floor.
“Why don’t you have a date?”, Theseus asked after a few moments of silence.
You rolled your eyes.
“Nice way to rub it in.”
It took him a few seconds to understand how his question probably sounded to you.
“No, no! I meant... Why are you alone? Wait, no. Let me rephrase. You’re amazing, how come no one saw it and asked you to the Ball?”
He didn’t dare to look at you but saw a blush creeping up your face out of the corner of his eye.
“I was asked by a couple of guys, a girl too, but none of them felt right, you know? I’d rather go alone than with someone I don’t at least feel a connection with.”
He finally looked at you, looked you right in the eyes.
“I think I know what you mean.”
The faster song ended and a slower one started.
“Do you, maybe, want to dance? With me?”, you asked.
Theseus couldn’t believe it.
He didn’t trust his mouth right then, instead he just took your hand and lead you to the dance floor where you started swinging to the music.
He desperately hoped his move had seemed smooth, intended, instead of nervous and uncertain.
“So, you feel a connection with me?”, he finally asked when he was able to form real sentences again.
You laughed, a sound more endearing than any music, a sound Theseus would never get tired of hearing.
“Well, there most certainly are worse boys.”
And even though it wasn’t exactly the answer he had been hoping for Theseus smiled and pulled you closer.
He felt your body next to his, your chest so close he could almost hear your heart beating, you small hand in his large one, your waist under his other hand, your hand on his neck.
And your lips.
Your eyes.
Your smile.
Your smell.
He felt like he was in a dream.
Until the song ended, until Newt showed up again and pulled you away.
But you turned around and winked at him.
He smiled, every time he saw you, thought about you, he smiled.
“Ms (Y/L/N)”, Theseus greeted you the next morning.
You walked right past him, so close he could smell your perfume, the same one you wore the night of the Yule Ball.
“Come on, (Y/N). Please talk to me.”
He didn’t care that he was at work, that his co-workers could hear him, he just needed to hear your voice, see your smile, feel your body against his.
You turned abruptly and walked back to Theseus.
Just inches away you stopped.
He could feel heat radiating off you, see every emotion you tried to hide in those eyes he knew so well.
You looked up at the tall man, your lips in a thin line.
He was so familiar, so handsome, so arrogant, so unbelievable.
“No. You stopped talking to me, you ended everything, threw our friendship away. And now you act like nothing ever happened? And you want me to forgive you? I don’t think so.”
You turned away, her flying, hitting Theseus in the chest.
“You’re the one who betrayed me, the one who broke my heart”, he whispered to himself.
The last few days at Hogwarts were emotional for everyone, but maybe even more so for Theseus Scamander.
His little brother had just been thrown out of school, he was about to leave the country all together.
Theseus was about to start a dangerous training to become an Auror.
And he had to tell the girl he loved how he felt before he might not see her for year.
Tomorrow, he kept telling himself.
Tomorrow.
You knew, Newt had told you Theseus was in love with someone, had been for years.
You didn’t want to admit it, but it hurt.
After the Ball you had realised your feelings for the older Scamander boy.
And now you found out he loved someone else.
You needed to distract yourself, to forget about Theseus.
Lucky for you Tommy Redriver had asked you on a date.
And for the first time since Christmas you said yes.
Theseus was walking around the castle.
Tomorrow he would tell her.
Tomorrow.
He made his way up and down stairs, checked empty classrooms and hallways.
Suddenly he heard a sound.
He hurried over to where it came from.
It was dark in the abandoned hallway, but he could see two silhouettes.
One seemed familiar...
“Lumos”, he whispered and with a flash the hallway was covered in bright lights.
At first he saw Tommy Redriver, shirtless, hair dishevelled and lips swollen.
But it was the girl that caught his attention.
You were still wearing your skirt, though it was lower than usual, but your blouse was on the floor, leaving your in your bra, your hair falling across your shoulders, your lips in a wonderful pink.
He couldn’t help himself, he wished it had been him kissing you, undressing you, loving you.
You stared at Theseus in horror.
He didn’t meet your eyes.
You opened your mouth but the second you did he hurried away.
Quickly you put on your blouse, not bothering to button it up, called an apology over to Tommy and hurried after your friend.
“Thee!”, you called after him.
He started to run.
“Come on, Theseus. Please talk to me”, you pleated, tears coating your eyes.
The boy started to sprint. And due to his longs legs and anger fuelling him you couldn’t keep up.
That night two hears broke in the ancient halls of Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft.
“Newt, are you here? I need to talk to you”, you called into the flat.
No answer.
“(Y/N), is that you?”, a familiar voice asked.
You considered turning around, leaving the flat you shared with Newt. But you had nowhere else to go.
“What are you doing here, Theseus?”, you asked while hanging up your coat and slipping out of your shoes.
“My brother told me to meet him here.”
You rolled your eyes, Newt knew you didn’t want to see him, why would he do that to you?
Theseus looked at you in awe.
Rain was dripping from your hair, a frown was on your face, you were shivering.
And yet you were so beautiful to him.
Without thinking he handed you the dry coat he was carrying.
The frown deepened.
“No.”
Why would he offer you his coat? Why not just leave and ignore you like he did ever since he caught you and Tommy Redriver?
As if he had been reading your thoughts he asked how Tommy has been these past few years.
“I don’t know, I haven’t seen him since I graduated.”
Theseus raised an eyebrow.
You sighed and, realising he wouldn’t leave soon, started to make yourself a cup of tea in the kitchen.
“How long have you been dating then?”
You put your empty cup down and looked Theseus in the eye.
“We were never dating, we went out once. At the time I was trying to get over someone who was in love with someone else.”
You didn’t know why you told him all that.
And suddenly it made sense, or at least Theseus hoped it did.
“This someone you were trying to get over, did Newt tell you he was in love with someone else?”
You put water in a cattle and turned back to him.
“How did you know?”
Suddenly Theseus blushed furiously.
“Because I told Newt I was in love with someone, I never told him who it was, though. You were so close, I was sure he’d tell you and I wanted to do that myself.”
He ran a hand through his hair and smiled at you.
Slowly he took a step closer, than another.
You were as close as you had been dancing at the Yule Ball.
“I didn’t want you to hear from my brother. I wanted to tell you myself that I have been in love with you for years.
I love you. I can’t stop thinking about you. Your smile, your hair, your lips, your smell. You’re kind and clever and ambitious and beautiful and I love you with all my heart.”
And just like that your heart stopped.
And a second later it was beating again, faster than ever.
“So when you saw me with Tommy, you were...jealous?”
Theseus grinned.
“At first, yes. But I saw you, I saw what you looked like under that shirt, with kiss swollen lips, with hands tangled in your hair.
I wanted to be Tommy, yes. But I also didn’t. I wanted to be me, and to have you with me. Not to do what he did, but what I would do to you.”
He stepped closer and leaned down a bit.
“Oh, the things I would do to you”, he growled.
You felt relieve, love, lust, happiness and a thousand other emotions rush through you all at once.
“Theseus Scamander, you are ridiculous, stupid, naive, oblivious, a jealous idiot, you can’t control your emotions and you sure as hell are one horny bastard.
But I love you, only you. I have loved you for years and it broke me when you stopped talking to me. I thought I could never be with you, romantically, I was fine with being friends as long as you were still in my life. But you hating me was the worst time of my life.”
“I could never hate you, not really. I love you too much.”
And without another word you grabbed Theseus’ tie and pulled his face down, you reached up the last few inches until his lips finally met yours.
The kiss was soft at first, loving and full of desire.
It quickly turned heated from years and years of waiting.
Theseus picked you up and sat you down on the kitchen counter, you wrapped your legs around him and pulled him even closer.
When he had to catch his breath Theseus pulled away.
He rested his forehead against yours and tangled a hand in your hair.
Both your lips were red and swollen, your hair was wild and your eyes were shimmering.
“You know, we have Newt to thank for this. He figured this whole misunderstanding out and planed for the two of us to show up here around the same time.”
You grinned and pressed another kiss against his lips.
“I really love your brother, he’s the best friend anyone could ask for, but can we please not talk about him while making out?”
Theseus breathed a “Yes” against your neck before starting to kiss it.
“I’ve been waiting for this for so long”, he sighed.
“The wait is over, Thee”, you smiled.
Summary: Imagine having kind of a friends with benefits situation with your best friend, who you had been in love with for years
You smiled at your best friend as he sat down next to you in the Great Hall.
“I thought you got lost on the way, what took you so long?”
Draco just grinned and handed you a small parcel.
“I had to get this.”
You eyed the small box Draco had put next to your dinner plate. It was (y/f/c) and had a little black bow on top.
“This better not attack me the second I open it”, you sighed, reaching for the present.
Draco rolled his eyes.
He leaned closer, until his mouth almost touched your ear, you could feel his breath.
“Please, pranks are so 2nd year.”
You rolled your eyes and finally opened the box.
“A blindfold? What am I supposed to do with thi- Oh... Oh!”
You suddenly realized what the black blindfold with silver gems on the edges was for.
A blush crept up your face. You were comfortable with experiments in bed and even more comfortable with Draco, in all situations, but someone finding out about your little arrangement was one of your biggest nightmares.
“Why did you give me this here and now?”, you hissed.
Draco put a warm hand on your cool tigh.
“Come to my room after dinner and you’ll find out.”
Before you could answer he got up and left the Great Hall, but not without sending a wink your way.
You’d never admit it out loud, but the blindfold was amazing.
Even now, a week later, your cheek heated just thinking about the evening.
About Draco and his hands and lips all over your body, not seeing, just feeling, hearing and enjoying.
“Hello? Earth to (y/n)”, Hermoine said, snapping her fingers in front of your face.
You returned to reality, to the tree near the lake and your books.
“I don’t even know why I’m studying already, exams are months away.”
Your friend sighed and opened yet another book.
“Yes, but History of Magic is very complex and we should study as much as possible.”
You nodded and glanced at your book.
“Of course, though I recently read that you should take a break every now and then, otherwise your head might explode.”
Surprisingly your friend agreed.
“But only because I wanted to talk to you about something anyway”, she added.
You fished two apples out of your bag and threw one in her lap.
“What is it?”, you asked, chewing.
Hermoine looked around, you were all alone except for a few first years playing catch on the other side of the lake.
“You know Draco is only trying to get in your pants, don’t you?”
You got up, stretching your legs, and leaned against the tree.
Hermoine was the only one who knew about your more than friendly feelings towards the blonde Slytherin.
“I should probably tell you something... See, the thing is, Draco and I have been... doing it... for a while now...”
The Gryffindor raised an eyebrow.
“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re trying to say... Have you been having... sex?”
You sighed. You really didn’t want to put it like that, even though that’s what it was.
“Yes.”
Hermoine opened her mouth.
“But it’s just that, just sex. He doesn’t like me and doesn’t know I-”
Suddenly your vision got black, a pair of hands covered your eyes.
“Guess who”, a very familiar voice breathed in your ear.
You leaned back a bit, feeling your back hit Draco’s chest. A grin spread across your face as you took a step back until your butt hit him.
You pressed closer until Draco let out a soft moan.
Just before he could lift his hands you turned around, facing him.
“Hey”, you grinned.
Draco tilted his head down until your eyes met.
“Hi”, he whispered, leaning closer to you.
All of the sudden you took a step back.
You and Draco have done a lot of things, but you’ve never kissed.
You’ve never been kissed.
Even though you knew you loved Draco and have had your first time with him, you wanted your first kiss to be full of love and romance, not lust and heat.
You turned away from Draco and towards Hermoine.
“Do you mind if we continue studying some other time?”
The girl rolled her eyes, but she seemed to understand.
Quickly you grabbed your books and your bag and let Draco pull you towards the castle.
Draco kissed down your neck, you felt his lips, his breath, his tongue all over your skin.
He rested his mouth against your collar bone and started sucking.
“Draco, what are you doing?”
He never marked you, it was too obvious, too visible.
“Don’t worry, no one will see it.”
You sighed, but it turned into a moan as Draco applied more pressure.
“But ever time you see it you’ll remember who you belong to.”
A laugh escaped your lips and Draco let go off your skin.
“What? What’s so funny?”
He pushed himself away from you, sat up in the bed.
His pale skin shone in the barely lit room, his eyes sparkled.
“I’m sorry, it’s just-” You laughed again, “You do realise I’m not yours, we’re just... it’s purely physical.”
Draco laid down next to you on the small bed. He turned on his side, facing you.
His arm sneaked around you and he pulled you closer.
“It’s not. You’re still you, my best friend. You’re still funny and brilliant and ambitious and smart and beautiful and you have an amazing laugh and your hair is just so soft and your lips-”
With every word he moved his body more and more atop yours, his face closer to yours, his lips closer to yours.
He seemed like he was in a trance.
“Draco, Draco, stop”, you told him, pushing his face farther away.
A small frown replaced his grin, but quickly went away again.
“Why don’t you want me to kiss you? Are you that bad of a kisser?”
He tried to keep his voice even, joking, but his lips ached to touch yours.
You were quiet for a moment. Your hand tangled in Draco’s hair and massaged his head.
“I just always pictured my first kiss, always wanted it to be this fairy tale experience. I never had these thoughts about my first time, just my first kiss. It’s stupid, I know, but I want my first kiss to be with someone I love and who loves me.”
Draco leaned closer again and brushed his nose against yours, his breath his your lips.
“Your first kiss?”, he grinned.
The hand on Draco’s head slapped him lightly.
“Shut up. Who was your first kiss with?”
Draco laid down next to you once again.
“I’ll tell you, but don’t laugh.”
You promised.
“Blaise.”
You didn’t laugh, you really didn’t. But a smile crept up your face.
“Zabini?”
Draco nodded.
“Why?”
The blonde leaned closer to you and placed his head on your shoulder.
“It was a game of Truth or Dare in 3rd year.”
You remembered these games, you had always thought them childish and never participated, you spend your time reading or studying.
“Did you...expect anything?”
“Well...No, not from the kiss itself. But I always imagined my first kiss to be with someone else.”
He leaned more into you and out of the corner of your eye you saw him closing his eyes.
“Who?”
Draco ignored you, pretended to be asleep.
“Who?”, you asked again.
“It doesn’t matter, they never thought about me that way anyway...”
You scoffed.
“I find that very hard to believe, you’re Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin Prince. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”
Draco opened his eyes and looked at you.
“Anyone?”
A slight blush spread across your cheeks.
“Yeah...”
“What did you mean the other day?”, you asked Hermoine as you sat down next to her at the Gryffindor table.
“Hello to you too, (y/n)”, your friend replied.
You grinned and greeted her and Harry and Ron.
“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about”, Hermoine said, filling her goblet.
You looked around the Great Hall, your eyes met Draco’s at the Slytherin table.
“Can we talk somewhere else?”
Hermoine agreed and you hurried towards the Entry Hall.
“You said Draco just wants to get in my pants, what makes you think that?”
Hermoine gave you a once over.
“The way he looks at you. Everyone suspects Draco is in a friends with benefits situation with someone, though no one knows with whom. I never suspected you, but I though he wanted to...you know...”
You bit down on your lip.
“That doesn’t make any sense, why would he look at me like that when we’re already- wait, you don’t think he might actually like me, do you?”
Hermoine sighed, she played with her hair, her wand, anything to avoid looking at you.
“I don’t really think Draco is capable of actual romantic feelings, but if he was, you’d be the one he would fall for. You’re kind of perfect for each other.”
You grinned.
“You really think so?”
Your friend just gave you a look, that explained everything.
“But you don’t know him, what you interpret as love might as well be lust...”
Hermoine sighed.
“That’s on you to find out.”
You kicked Draco underneath the table.
“Draco.”
“Draco.”
“Dra-”
“What?”
“Mr Malfoy, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”, Professor McGonagall asked.
A few Gryffindors laughed, Draco blushed.
“No, professor.”
She continued her lesson.
“What do you want?”, Draco whispered under his breath.
“Can we talk? After dinner in the astronomy tower?”
Draco went pale and blushed and pale again within seconds.
“Today?”
You nodded, copying a sentence from the board.
“I kinda had something planned... For us...Tonight...”
You looked at your best friend.
“I’m sure whatever it is can wait, I have something important to tell you.”
You didn’t eat much dinner, you were too nervous.
And Draco? Of course he had only thought about one thing for tonight.
But you had to come clean, you had to tell him how you felt.
Draco hadn’t been at dinner, nevertheless you hurried to the top of the tower after getting a box from your room.
By the time you arrived the sun had almost set, casting a golden shimmer all over Hogwarts.
You tried to catch your breath and looked around the tower, searching for Draco.
You didn’t see your best friend, but you did see a blanket, rose petals, scented candles and heard music.
“I had this planned for weeks”, Draco told you, stepping out of the shadows with a small box in his hand.
“I actually wanted to talk to you, so if you wanted to seduce me and give me another one of your toys, can you please wait?”
Draco smiled, not his usual cocky smile, but a real, sincere smile.
He sat down on the blanket and motioned you to do the same.
He put his small box in his lap and you laid yours in your lap.
“I know we have a deal, I know our deals says we can’t fall in love with the other just because we’re...closer than most best friends. But that rule is stupid, because I was already in love with you when we started, I have been for years.”
You reached for your box and handed it to Draco.
“I wanted you to be my first kiss. Since 3rd year I can’t stop thinking about you, I fell in love with you all those years ago”, he blurted out, seconds before you pressed the box in his hands.
It took you a second to process his words.
“You...what?”
Draco blushed, he pushed his small box over to you.
“I planned on telling you today. On ending our arrangement. Though I also bought you something, just in case there was a chance you felt the same.”
Now it was your turn to blush.
You opened the box, a small necklace was inside.
A silver necklace with a heart at the end, a small green gem was on the one side, two letters on the other, your initials. D and (y/f/l).
“Draco, it’s beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you.”
You smiled at him.
Draco took the necklace out of your hands and put it around your neck, leaning closer and closer in the process.
“I love you”, he whispered against your lips.
You closed your eyes, put your hands around his neck and pulled him even closer, until your lips finally met.
“I love you too”, you smiled at him.
Draco pecked you on the lips before opening his present.
“Chocolate?”
He raised an eyebrow.
You shrugged.
“I’m not very original, though we can share”, you grinned.
The next few kisses tasted like chocolate, hope and love
“Guess we need a new arrangement.”
You laughed.
“I guess so, boyfriend.”
Draco kissed you once again.
“I like the sound of that, girlfriend.”
Needless to say kissing wasn’t the only thing you did that night
“Let’s go outside”, he suggested.
I looked at him in disbelief.
“We never do that. What would we do outside anyways?”, I asked.
“Dunno…Talk, watch the stars, get drunk.”
I smiled slightly.
“We can do all of that in here too.”
“Yeah”, he agreed,“But I wanna try something new.”
“There’s no way out of this, is there?”, I sighed.
“Nope”, he laughed.
I shook my head and laughed too.
“C’m on!”, he said, graped my hand and pulled me up.
We went outside to his car and got in.
“What now?”, I asked.
“No idea…Let’s just drive and look for a nice place”, he offered and started the engine.
It was a clear night. No clouds, but thousand of stars. It was beautiful, something I’d never say out loud through.
“You see them?”, he asked and pointed at a group of girls outside a bar.
I nodded.
“Do they seem happy?”
“They seem drunk”, I answerd.
“They probably are. But that’s not what I asked. Do they seem happy?”, he repeated.
“Yeah, I guess”, I said.
“What about that boy over there?”, he asked a while later.
I hold my breath. I knee that guy. My first crush, I couldn’t remember his name, haven’t seen him in years. But I’d never forget his face.
“He seems kinda…depressed”, I said.
“Why? What makes you think that?”, he wanted to know.
“Look at him! He’s all alone. A beer in his one hand, his head in the other. I was like that when my dog died two years ago. He’s sad. Doesn’t think life goes on. He thinks this is the end of his happiness”, I explained.
“Do you think there is something like that? The end of happiness?”
“Everything has to end someday. Maybe happiness won’t end like that. Maybe it’ll always be there, just not always for the same people”, I guessed.
“What about life? Does it ever end?”, he asked.
I had to laugh. Was he really this oblivious? Did he really not know the answer?
“Of course life ends”, I told him,“Death. It’s the end of life. Everything ends once you die.”
“You really think so? Does death end life? Just because you die, doesn’t mean all life is gone. Does death end learning? Since the Romans died we learned so many new things. Does death end love? When your grandpa died in March, did you just stop loving him?”
“N-No! Of course not!”, I replied, a bit shocked.
“Then what does death end, other than your life? It only ends things for you, not for anyone else”, he said.
I could only nod.
After that, there was silence for at least ten minutes.
“This is a nice place”, he said.
“Yeah…”, I agreed.
He got out of the car, walked to the passenger seat and opened the door for me.
I went towards the Hood and sat down.
A few seconds later he sat down next to me and handed me a beer, I knew he always had a few in a cooler in the trunk.
“The stars really are beautiful today, it was a good idea to go outside”, I smiled at him.
“The stars have fascinated people for centuries. On nights like this, I think I know why. They’re mysterious. Even for us, people who know that they are nothing really special, or magical, as they seem”, he said.
I chuckled.
“That was deep”, I told him.
“That’s not really unlikely for me, is it?”, he asked.
I shook my head and smiled again.
I’ve never experienced a night like this.
It was amazing. And for the first time in years I felt like everything was possible.
I never really understood the saying “The sky is the limit”. But in this very moment, I began to understand it.
The sky is endless, it has no limit. Therefore there is no limit. Not for dreams and hopes.
“Do you believe in wishing on stars?”, he interrupted my thoughts.
“I used to. But now…I don’t know…”
“What is that supposed to mean? You have to know! Make a wish! Maybe it’ll work”, he smiled.
I laughed, but he was right. It was worth a shot. So I closed my eyes and wished for something. It was something no one really knew, at least I never actually told anyone. My deepest desire, a wish hurried inside my heart. Hidden, so no one, most of the time not even me, could find it.
“What did you wish for?”, he asked.
I knew there was this rule about not being allowed to tell anyone what you wished for, but with him, it didn’t matter.
“You know it. Whether I tell you or not”, I said.
And it was true. He knew. He knew every single thing about me.
“Yeah…”, he agreed,“I know everything about you.”
I had to laugh, he joined in.
“Sounded a whole lot more like a stalker that it was supposed to”, he laughed.
But he was right. He knew me, could read me like an open book. And I knew him. Or at least I’d always thought so.
“Can I ask you something?”, I asked him.
“You just did”, he smiled.
“Do you remember when we first met?”
His face went blank. I knew what he was thinking, since it was the same thing I couldn’t stop thinking about since my wish.
“You don’t, do you? Neither do I… You’ve always been here. Or at least I think so. I guess one day you just appeared and never left. You’re the last thing I see before I fall asleep, the first when I wake up. When I look up from a book or my phone, you’re always there. Watching me. Like a ghost or a guardian angel or something. You’re always there. Always”, I said.
He looked me in the eyes.
“You seem surprised”, he smiled.
I nodded:“Yeah…But you know I love you, don’t you?”
“I always knew that”, he told me and leaned in.
His hands didn’t touch me, mine didn’t touch him. Our noses didn’t bomb together. But our lips met.
And the moment his lips met mine everything went black.
I heard a voice:“Seems like it ends.”
And it did.
Through now I know, nothing ever ends. It only changes.
From life, to a coma like a dream, to death.
Is there anything worse than falling for someone you know you’ll never have a chance with.
But you still fall, because you hope you’re wrong. Because you hope that maybe, they feel the same way about you.
Until they meet someone and you know, you were right. You always knew it, but you hoped. And even that little bit if hope is gone, because they fell for someone else.
Me, actually (via mel-black33)
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