Shrimp Mom @imbulse - Tumblr Blog

local matchmaker losing it over yet another unrealistic demand from the clientele 🤣🤣

Translation by me. :))

Never getting over Charlie Kirk getting shot in the throat right after he uses it to downplay gun violence. Gotta be a top 3 assassination. Up there with Shinzo getting doohickey'd.

foxgirlmindcrank

It's on some straight up Greek play shit. Man who uses his voice to justify violence and stir evil for years meets his end as that very violence tears out his throat. Poetic. Captured live from multiple angles. People stole his blood soaked merch to hock and his wife was giddy about sale numbers during his funeral.

namethatghostling

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

cupcraft

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

aropride

do u like mine

cupcraft

Oh wow.

cupcraft

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

itmeansalot

you gotta come to the club man drinks are $18 and were all on our phones googling dog surgery

catsbeaversandducks

Via Raconteur Press, LLC

masochistrights

dom who sticks their fingers down your throat, asks you a question, and laughs when you try to answer

astral-logistics-assn

Yes, yes, the dentist. We’ve all been there.

liquidstar

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

liquidstar

Same guys btw. So they did turn out good yeah

prokopetz

I'm currently living in a two-cat household, and there's a thing that happens where the first cat is calling for me, the second cat shows up like "you rang?", and the first cat immediately smacks the second cat in the face like "not you, knucklehead". They do this every day.

prokopetz

The second cat always comes running when the first cat calls for me, even though it gets her dope-slapped with 100% reliability. I suspect she simply enjoys the attention.