On auditions and the bomb
I did two auditions in March and bombed them both. I don’t think I’ll get feedback from the first one (probs for the best). But the second one, which took place on 3/24, saw one judge rating me poor in every category and the other withheld scoring likely because she felt bad. I bombed hard, guys.
In my defense, I’m only just starting to audition and my approach is to dive in head first. It’s maybe not the most elegant approach, but once your dignity has officially exited the building, what is there to be worried about going forward? You’re free.
I failed, it sucked and I cried myself into a dehydration migraine. But I woke up the next day and I was alive and I learned something. I got excellent feedback from two world class vocal teachers. The feedback wasn’t that I was excellent, but it’s excellent feedback for me to apply to my training.
After that initial gnashing of teeth, rejection becomes a great motivator. You learn the most in the wake of failure, and boy howdy have I learned a lot.
1. I need to do a lot more work with relaxing my throat, jaw and tongue. When I get nervous, those things get tight and then absolutely nothing is right. This gives me a lot to work on and is good to know, especially for pressure situations like auditions.
2. I probably need to work on my breath support too, but my teacher says she doesn’t see anything wrong with it in our sessions. I think that’s perhaps a blindspot for her and this may require some bigger moves later on down the line. For now, when I perform, I’m going to do my best to keep my shoulders back and chest up so the ribcage doesn’t collapse. That sometimes happens during performances when I’m trying to perform.
3. My song selection was all wrong. I need to focus on songs I know really well and have sung successfully in the past, even if they’re “easier” and not as fun as the rep I’m working on in the studio. I got too ambitious with trying a new piece here.
4. One element I don’t like about the classical music world is that they always want you dressed like you’re attending a ball, or, at the very least, a fancy cocktail party. I wore a bohemian Free People dress. In my world, there’s room for this, but I don’t make the rules. If I walk into their house again, I’ll begrudgingly choose something more in line.
5. I need to focus more attention on diction (this goes back to the tongue), pronunciations and learning the International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA). I’ve already started down this path.
Here’s the thing: I’m a good singer. I have a nice tone, I sing on pitch and I have charisma and the ability to tell a story as I perform. But in the classical singing world, having a pretty voice isn’t enough. It’s all about the technique and control. I didn’t demonstrate that on the 24th. I didn’t sing nearly as well as I am capable of. And I wasn’t treated with kid gloves and that is the best thing for me in my growth as a classical singer.
There is one other opportunity for me to make it through to the next round - there’s an online group 2. This is where you submit two videos online rather than attending a live audition. This was how two of my training partners got through.
I wouldn’t sign up for this online round if I didn’t intend on making significant changes to my approach. I’ll be singing two songs that are easier, but still arias and some of the strongest pieces in my rep. And the focus on relaxing the tongue, jaw and throat has already made a big impact on my singing. I’m already finding it much easier to stay grounded and stick to my rich mezzo sound, and it’s only been a few days.
I’m hoping that maybe with this next chance, I can work my way up to fair? ;)
