Empty Closet

she/her

[immortalcavesinger]

Nothing is more terrifying than having someone call you your tumblr username to your face

Jonathan if you read this you’re getting slimed

[agentoffangirling]

Also, on my friend watching AoS for the first time (when before they just made fun of it), they clocked Fitz being bi so quickly

"But the girl, if that's his subconscious, commenting on how the Mack guy is attractive, then HE thinks that he's attractive. He's bi. Like this is canon"

Thank you for picking up on this, this makes my world

[onlythemoonlooks-down]

rip Holden Radcliffe you would have loved being in a relationship and on first name basis with Chat

[immortalcavesinger]

So... a Spies are Forever X Stucky fic idea

It works so well. Obviously Steve is Curt and Bucky is Owen. And Natasha is basically Tatiana.

You'd have to smush the other characters (Sam and Peggy immediately come to mind) around to fit into the SaF storyline but if you just use it as a basic outline it could fit well (but now I have the mental image of Samuel L Jackson singing Eyes on the Prize)

[yourlocaltrashrat-23]

There's a fic called "Be the Hero, Take the Shot" by QueentoEfour on AO3 with Steve!Curt and Bucky!Owen but it is unfinished

[coraliewhodraw]

You're not alone...

When your ex boyfriend unintentionally made the robot that take care of you during your mission...oops

[allpinkandgoldandglittering]

For every thing that Marvel does there's a good chance that agents of shield not only did it first but also did it better. The team have been secretly invaded and replaced by enemies and the remaining characters must figure out who's who? Yes. "What If...?" Yeah just without the question mark. A character uses the Darkhold to create an alternate universe where she gets everything she wants and alters other character's memories to force them to play along? Yup. A "champion of Hydra" with tentacles? Uh-huh. The multiverse? Time travel? Inhumans? A race of beings who watch over the timeline and one of them breaks protocol to help the heroes? A season where there are fun time skips to different decades every other episode? Mmh-hmm. A beloved character is killed off but the actor is brought back as a separate villain? Well you're never gonna believe this

[lesspopped]

please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.

[immortalcavesinger]

So... a Spies are Forever X Stucky fic idea

It works so well. Obviously Steve is Curt and Bucky is Owen. And Natasha is basically Tatiana.

You'd have to smush the other characters (Sam and Peggy immediately come to mind) around to fit into the SaF storyline but if you just use it as a basic outline it could fit well (but now I have the mental image of Samuel L Jackson singing Eyes on the Prize)

[immortalcavesinger]

“Zola’s algorithm evaluates your past to predict your future”

THIS MOVIE WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL

[kirkspocks]

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

[chromalogue]

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

[baegishjalmur]

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

[systlin]

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

[retro-minty]

@theshitpostcalligrapher

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ay @systlin hmu

[bold-sartorial-statement]

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

[andersonsallpurpose]

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

[svampurinn]

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

[books-and-candy-ples]

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

[rembrandtswife]

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

[deeranger]

And in Danish because why not:

Solen skinnede, skøn og gylden

På dagen for Tors fødsel

På asfalten ved Taco Bell

Dér lå Loke

“LEV MERE (LIVE MAS)”

*Snorts*

[marvel-lous-things]

When Thor born

He hair shine brite

A very very

Magical site

But then I see

A bab from hell

I pik up loki

From taco bell

[scarlet-silverweaver]

the rosetta stone of shitposting

[roguehoneybadger]

@incorrectnorse-quotes

[incorrectnorse-quotes]

Now THIS is the best post on this hellsite

[postcards-from-mandalore]

May not be Mando, but I’m here for the language swap…

And the tacos.

[oldbutchdanielmolloy]

omg you people can do anything

[blackshvck]

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

[redstonedust]

i understand (on paper) why companies are anti-piracy but its funny when random individuals are also strongly anti-piracy. like how does it negatively affect your life if someone you know downloads a cracked torrent of sims 4. you dont work for EA. EA isnt gonna pay you for this. you lose nothing. its fine. chill out.

[immortalcavesinger]

Every time a farm gets bought by a developer and turned into a neighborhood full of houses built with cardboard and plastic and no trees for miles a piece of my soul is chipped off

[immortalcavesinger]

I love the concept that Bucky Barnes is simply a slut for the Stars and Stripes. A true American hero.

[immortalcavesinger]

I drew the happiest Batman panel :P

[allpinkandgoldandglittering]

Ngl it's very funny to me that there are mcu fans who don't know about aos and think that Coulson just stayed dead after the Avengers. Like wdym you don't know that he had a truly magical beach holiday that resulted in him carving alien patterns into walls? You didn't hear about how he jumped out of a plane with explosions all around him and managed to aim for the titchy portal to another planet where the squid guy who inspired the devil lived?? That he was imprisoned in a digital reality where he was a history teacher who made his own soap?? That his kids missed him after he died slightly more permanently so they made an alien robot with his memories and personality??? Yeah he was even ghost rider for like five minutes