It's not my weekend

fuck you :)

[arabellas]

THE BEAR 1.04 Dogs

[thbstvrdthmtlbndndntn]

I am still fucking losing it at this tweet

[tyaz]

Found this and I swear there's no image better fitted to describe my drinking experience

[harcodia]

I want you to know I found this one.... So to see the another one was hilarious

[darkcomedies]

[fucktheflagandfuckyou]

[kleefkruid]

whenever someone calls USAmerican English the 'movie accent' I remember how somewhere last year I was on a train when suddenly the silence was broken by an american voice behind me somewhere and I immediately thought "Oh no, someones playing their tiktoks out loud again" and automatically turned around to put a face to my annoyance like you do when someones driving bad, and turns out a few rows down were just some actual in the flesh USAmericans having a nice conversation amongst themselves. I am sorry Americans I'm glad they let you out of the phone

[royalturkeyz]

[tropics777]

And in these next 50 years you will eat so many delicious meals, laugh so many times with so many people you love, shout and scream and sing and cry and smile so hard your face hurts. And you will see such beautiful sunsets and feel fresh cold air on your face and feel warm and safe wrapped up in your favourite winter coat.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

I wrap this blessing around you like a shroud, so that no ill can find you, and every warmth is held close

[stargirldotcom]

-despite everything, there is still love

@arthoesunshine/ @artsheila/ @daisies-on-a-cup/ @gayarsonist / @hjarta/ @yunawinter on twitter/ @bakwaaas/ @death-born-aphrodite/ anon on gentleearth/ @classicnymph on twitter

[blushingallthewayhome]

reblog this with what you’re proud of accomplishing this year in the tags! (this does NOT mean work-related!!! this can be personal growth!! relationship growth!!! a hobby you started!!! mental health challenges you faced and are working on!!)

[mentalmeat5-deactivated20231017]

showing real signs of mental illness lately but im still cool right

[syzygy-yzygy]

It's funny enough that Mickey Milkovich the teenage boy was so scary that he was able to blatantly shoplift in front of a grown ass man without anyone doing anything about it. It's even funnier that the moment they bought a gun to stop him from shoplifting he managed to be scary enough to take the fucking gun while being unarmed himself. It's even funnier than that that Ian, who was also just a teenager, figured he was stronger than the aforementioned grown man and proceeded to break into the house full of actual murderers to try and fight the boy that he knew had a gun just to get that gun back. He didn't even bring a weapon until he happened to find a crowbar lying around. But what's inherently the funniest thing ever is that both Ian and Mickey looked at each other at that moment while actively trying to beat the shit out of each other and thought: "husband material."

[girlfagging-deactivated20230523]

anyways I wish I had a taser so I could lay on my couch all day and shock myself whenever I get understimulated

[bilbobagginsomebabez]

getting a feeling you'd be excluded from the research data

[loredwy]

Taser georg is an outlier and shouldnt be counted, after all

[disgustinggf]

[cannibalchicken]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[suazu]

[mevil]

[cannibalchicken]

[jokeboy-deactivated20260221]

accidentally told a customer the wrong price and like the little f slur I am I said "oopsie! I lied to you hold on" and she without any pause said "all liars go to hell" 😐🫡

[skittyminecraft]

x

[arabella-ardor]

[faggotjonesss]

[woodlandhomo]

One time I tried to say “take care” after ringing up a customer. I opened my mouth and for some reason I was unable to make a noise except for a very small “t-eh” sound initially and by the time I remembered how to make words I had to shout across the store for them to hear me. What I ended up saying was “Take over!!!” after which they glanced back at me uncomfortably and left without another word.

I am haunted by that interaction to this day.

[vmagicalpervert]

I worked at a bilingual call centre and once tried to end a conversation by saying either “salut” or “au revoir” but I combined them into “savoir!!” So i just said “to know!!” To the customer and hung up