Sooo, Iâm the writer of the ao3 DBH fic âCoffee and black jacketsâ and it might have been a year⌠or three since i last updated it but i think i might finish it if anyone would like to beta read? I will write regardless! I wrote 43k in less than two months and i might have to just make myself finish itđââď¸
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
This informal survey aims to gather statistics on the length and completion status readers on AO3 prefer for fanfic.
The survey is not aff
I put together a relatively short survey (about two dozen questions, mostly multiple choice, all optional) to get some data on what fic lengths and completion statuses readers on AO3 prefer or avoid. If I get enough answers to have a good sample size, it should give us some insight into how people search and read on the archive.
If you find this interesting, feel free to share it with AO3 users elsewhere or post it to other platforms. I'd like to get a good crossection of readers that isn't biased by platform, if at all possible.
The survey is just for fun/curiosity, and isn't associated with any university, company, or other entity. It's just me asking you this stuff here :)
I'm not putting a deadline on this, I'll just let it run until I've got some good numbers, but whenever I do have enough I'll post the results here. You can track this post to watch for that update.
the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt
Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.
I think a Negative Kudos button is really pointless first off (ao3 is an archive not a social media site! we don't need upvotes/downvotes to drive some nonexistent algorithm) but also it feels cowardly. like, there already is a way to share your dislike of a fic with the author. it's called commenting 'your fic is bad and I didn't like it.' but then you might look like an ass, and people might say hey that's mean, and you might have to defend your position of unkindness + consider why you feel the need to be rude to a stranger on the internet writing for fun and for free. a quick, impersonal, site-sanctioned Mean Kudos is really just a weenie move
Begginggggg for Dennis x reader where reader ends up in the er after getting in an accident and the relationship is only like 3-4 weeks in but everyone sees his demeanor shift big time when she comes in? And theyâre all in shock because sheâs like hot-hot okay byeeee
Livin' Loose
dennis whitaker x reader
summary: you come in from getting in a motorcycle accident and whitaker gets a little worried. some of the staff (santos) can't wrap their head around the two of you dating.
wc: 1.1k
warnings: inaccurate medical information. (i'm not a doctor so its bad)
a/n: thank you for the request! this is kind of on the short side but i still loved writing it. I love writing light and funny ones the most. i hope this is to your satisfaction!
Ëâŕżŕťâ â
Dennis was not having a bad day. Dare he say it was actually pretty great. He has stayed on top of his work load and his patients. Contributed to some traumas in the morning and was looking forward for the day to be over. That was until you came in on a gurney.
"Motorcycle accident. Multiple abrasions, possible arm or shoulder fraction, she was wearing a helmet so minimal head injury. Average vital signs." The paramedic explains as they transfer you from transport's gurney to Trauma One's.
"I am fine. It's probably dislocated. It comes out sometimes." You claim. Your face was unscathed due to your helmet but your pants were destroyed from road rash and fresh tissue was revealed under the dirt and gravel.
"You've been in an accident before?" Dr. Robby asks as the team preps around you.
"Oh plenty. I mean, I'm careful, I promise but sometimes a bumper rides my ass and flips me in a tail spin or something. Nobody's perfect." You laugh.
"It's impressive how calm you are right now." Santos speaks.
"Gotta be. I have somebody to worry for me." You look around.
"Can we call that person for you?" Mel asks.
"Uh, this is The Pitt, right? He should be working now."
They all slow down, "You know someone here?"
"Yes my boyfriend. Dennis Whitaker?" You smile.
Shocked glances are passed around the room. Nobody had a clue that Whitaker had a girlfriend. All eyes land on Santos who throws her hands up, "I am not Huckleberry's keeper. I had no clue."
"We're still pretty fresh out of the dating stage. The titles are kinda new." You wave off the shock, "But if someone could grab him that would be great. I'd like to see him."
Mel nods and leaves the room to go find Whitaker. He works at the computer station filling out a simple chart before moving on to another patient. "Whitaker! Whitaker! Uh, your girlfriend is here?"
"Really?" He smiles, "Where is she?"
"Uh, Trauma One?"
"What?!" He rushes past Mel and runs into Trauma One. You beam at him and wave.
"Hi! I'm fine." You smile.
"What happened?!" He rushes to your side and takes your uninjured hand in his.
"I got side swiped. It knocked the wind out of me and I tumbled a few feet. Nothing serious."
"Bring in the portable x-ray." Robby beckons one of the nurses.
You shake your head, "It's just dislocated, no big deal."
"That is a big deal. You could have been seriously hurt." Whitaker squeezes your hand.
"I would have put it in place myself if the paramedics let me." You look to Robby.
"Fat chance doing it here too." He shakes his head.
"Damn it." You sigh, "Hey, Deni, look I'm fine," You smile, "I still have all my teeth and no head injury."
"That we know of." Santos mutters.
"I'm okay." You move your hand and squeeze his cheeks.
He nods and leans over to give you a kiss. "I'll just be right outside this room."
"You got it." You blow him a kiss. You are then given a local anesthetic as they prepare to put your shoulder joint back in place.
Just outside of the room. Whitaker paces back and forth. Dana comes up beside him and rubs his back, "She's fine, sweetheart. She came in alert and talking and frighteningly optimistic. She's gonna pull through just fine."
"I know. She's scary that way." He fidgets with his fingers.
"How'd you two meet?" She asks.
"We met at a bar playing pool together." He smiles, "The cue ball skipped the table and it hit me. She bought me a drink and offered to take me out as an apology. We've been seeing each other ever since." He smiles then chews his bottom lip nervously as he watches Santos perform a close reduction, rotating your arm and placing it back in its socket. You are then shipped upstairs for a CT of any internal bleeding or head injuries.
The other doctors leave the trauma and Santos walks over to Whitaker, "She's fine. Just some scrapes and bruises. She's so out of your league."
Whitaker scoffs, taken aback, "What makes you say that?"
"Well, you're you and she's gorgeous, rides a motorcycle, and is pretty funny. Things that are not you." She shrugs, "I think by definition that makes her out of your league."
"For your information, she asked me out."
"Happens to the best of us." She shakes her head in shame. Whitaker rolls his eyes.
Once your back in the ED, you are placed in a private room to recover. Whitaker comes in to see your arm now in a sling and a smile still on your face. He takes your free hand and kisses it softly. "I'm okay." You whisper.
"We'll just wait on your CT results." He rests the back of your hand against his cheeks. "That was scary seeing you here."
"I said I'm fine." You grab his cheek and rubs your thumb over his lips. "My bike on the other hand, I gotta figure out where they took that."
"I'm being serious right now." He moves to sit on the side of the bed closer to you, "If you had been in a worse state, I don't know what I would have done. I care about you so much."
Your smile falls and you nod looking at him, "I'm glad you care. I feel fine but I was scared too. I cried on the way the CT. The look on your face when you saw me is burned into my memory. I hope I don't make you look like that again."
You caress his cheek and he kisses you palm. He moves your hand and kisses your knuckles. He then leans in and kisses your lips. You moan into the kiss as you feel his tongue push into your mouth. You holds his neck as you deepen the kiss.
"Alright your CT results are back andâ Whoa!" Santos' face contorts in disgust, "Huckleberry, gross!"
You pull away slowly and smirk, "Sorry doc, I was still hurting. He was just administering some medicine."
"Well, he can do that when you're out of here. Which is soon. No internal bleeding, or head injuries. And there is luckily no tears to your shoulder tendons so surgery is not in your cards. Be careful when riding and always wear a helmet. You'll be in the sling for 4-6 weeks, ice it for the swelling and some ibuprofen should handle your pain. If the pain worsens, feel free to come back through the front door this time. And no moving that arm which means no riding."
"Yes, ma'am. I'll be taking an uber home for sure."
"I'll go get your discharge papers for you." Both Santos and Whitaker walk out of the room. "Whitaker, if I ever see you doing that again, I'm going to kill myself."
"You honestly hate the idea that I've got game." He laughs, "Somebody finds me hot."
"If I hear you call yourself that, I'm going to kill you."
Ëâŕżŕťâ â
thank you for reading! likes comments and reblogs are always welcome!
You trapped him in a lie, the merciful thing to do is let him go. (You and Dennis marry young to save you from the punishments of a teen pregnancy. You believe you are doing the best thing for him when you leave.)
Undermined | @sapiensecrets
you and dennis struggle to get back to normal after your concussion.
Destabilize | @/sapiensecrets
dennis puts his frustrations on you during a mass casualty, after seeing how people seem to drop everything to make your life easier.
false positive | @/sapiensecrets
a few people start speculating that you and dennis have a kid after seeing the two of you with your niece.
advil and ice | @/sapiensecrets
when you injure yourself two weeks before a showcase, dennis nurses you back to health.
cooking mama frenzy | @lsd-astronaut
The algorithm gods show Trinity Santos and Victoria Javadi a familiar face and much needed reprieve.
All Over Again | @crimsoncoatedscalpel
A car accident leaves you with missing puzzle pieces to assembleâthe stumble to blindly pick them out turns into the realization you have not only your career, places, and people to relearn, but also a boyfriend. Where will said puzzle pieces lead you to in the end? Who?
âDoctor Dennisâ | @aworldinsideaperson
Reader has the thought that sheâs dying, then comes the anxiety, then comes doctor Dennis.
Dennis has a crush on his close friends partnerâŚ, part 2 part 3 | @adrianchasewife
You and Dennis went to med school together, where you and his roommate dated. But Dennis secretly liked you the whole time, even though he shouldn't. Now, you're a student doctor at the Pitt.
The Callout | @petriwriting
Dennisâ girlfriend calls out from work because sheâs sick. A certain stubborn doctor is adamant to take care of her.
Maybe it wouldnât be so bad | @/petriwriting
Whitaker realizes maybe having kids with you one day wouldnât be so bad.
dennis whitaker x fem!reader | @belleeebelleee
drunken mistakes | @lipstickletterdiary
you went out last night but canât remember a thing, your best friend Trinity recounts the events. Will everything turn out alright or have you messed up a friendship that might never be the same?
the space we kept, pt 2 | @vulbott
already yours | @/vulbott
Not so secret ! | @kammustdie
You and Dennis think you are so slick hiding your feelings from eachother. Truth is, everyone knows, and everyone who doesnât know you, notices. You realize this with a very expressive patient at your shift.
Call Off the Clock | @whittakermultiverse
Dennis Whitaker has always been the one people rely onâthe doctor who stays late, pushes through exhaustion, and never asks for help. So when he shows up to a shift clearly sick, still trying to take care of everyone else, youâre the only one who refuses to let him. Dragging him out of the ER and into the quiet of his apartment, you take over for onceâmaking him rest, taking care of him, and staying when no one else ever has. Somewhere between stubborn arguments, soft moments, and quiet confessions, Dennis realizes something unfamiliar but undeniable: maybe he doesnât have to do everything alone anymore.
After getting locked out of your apartment with no backup plan, you reluctantly call your very new boyfriend, Dennis Whitaker. You expect awkwardnessâmaybe even a polite no. Instead, you get something that surprises you far more: a place to stay⌠and a glimpse into something that might actually last.
âtripping, stumblingâ | @whatif-ialreadydid
your roommate joins you at the gym... disaster ensues
You finally get the opportunity to work with Whitaker, each of you treating one of a feuding pair of patients. When you get caught in the crossfire, heâs there to patch you up.
Second try | @emma-smth
You and Dennis were in high school together and of course he had the biggest crush on you. But you suddenly moved to the big city to chase your dreams. It's been ten years now and you both come back in each-other's lives in an unexpected way.
June Bug, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5 | @antisirkbitch
Reader is a surgery resident, specializing in orthopedics. Who just happens to be Frank Langdon's little sister who he calls June Bug. But apparently that isn't common knowledge among the Pitt.
HOPELESS | @lovee-potions
he has a thing for you
Itâs just a cold | @hannaaalovee
Youâve caught a bad cold, but you insist itâs nothing and that youâll be fine soon. But Dennis ends up ignoring you and looks after you so you donât get any worse.
We can do it together | @/hannaaalovee
you had spent the entire week trying to book a spot in one of the best Pilates classes just to spend time with your friend, but ir seemed sehe had a change of plansâŚ. though Whitaker wouldnât let you miss trat appointment, right?
Missed You | @mabel-777
you decide to rekindle your relationship with the father of your child.
siren song | @inkedobsidian
Dennis had never though about his kinks at all, that was until you gave him a compliment he didn't know how to handle and he couldn't get it out of his head. He ended up avoiding you instead of dealing with it but you don't like being avoided forever
goodnight n go | @vanishingstarrs
The Stray | @confettighosts
Movie Night | @/confettighosts
DILF in the ER | @boiohboii
Dennis Whitaker did not emotionally prepare for the day that his girlfriendâs dad comes rolling into the ER with a gunshot wound. Too bad, he now has to deal with everyone knowing what yn and her dad are like.
(Reader is Leon Kennedy's daughter)
đverything đs đomantic | @luvdeuce
you made a grave mistake last night.
đ low đ how | @/luvdeuce
dennis felt blessed by the heavens when a beautiful girl his age popped up at the place he spent most of his time atâ work. bad side? you worked nights. even worse side? you seemed too infatuated with your attending to notice his own lingering eyes. or were you?
GREEN-EYED MONSTER | @mariposium
you try not to jump to conclusions regarding dennisâs friendship with one of his co-workers, but as more details regarding their relationship come to light, you canât help entertaining the green-eyed monster inside of you.
Downtime | @starrrlite
You bother your boyfriend after his nap.
just my type | @luvr-bunnyy
scrub off well | @imagines-all-day-everyday
dr whitaker thinks he has a pretty good handle on his crush on you, until he sees you out of your scrubs for the first time.
pregnant!wife headcanons | @pinkmartinigirrrrrl
am I your girl? | @orchidocs
a small collection of texts between you and your boyfriend/coworker dennis Â
Crushing | @latenightreadingpdf
Dennis is crushing on another med student. Will a girls night in finally give him the courage to tell her how he feels?
Park!reader | @u-get-to-c-the-medical-stuff
Imagine if... Dr. Park had an adopted kid/daughter exactly like him but a little bit softer.
Under the Apple Trees | @rabidabbot
Dennis Whitaker makes a decision that changes the course of your lives. Will he be able to fix the heartbreak he's caused? Or will misunderstandings cost him his chance with you? Can you forgive him for all he's done? Does the title "childhood best friend" and "first love" still mean something to you?
Livinâ Loose | @porchlightfairy
you come in from getting in a motorcycle accident and whitaker gets a little worried. some of the staff (santos) can't wrap their head around the two of you dating.
Mr. Dr. Whitaker | @wings-of-paradis
Itâs Career Week at the school you teach at, and you decide that the best way to end the week would be to bring in a real-life doctor to class! However, Dennis underestimates the curiosity of kindergarteners
Gimme Some Love | @i-love-ptv
You and dennis woke up late this morning, but you miraculously now have a few minutes to kill before your shift. What could possibly happen in 10 minutes?
for the record | @caffeinefiles
your five year old sister needs stitches and thinks youâre in love with your coworker. she might not be wrong.
Summary: Youâre a new ED doctor who wears a fake wedding ring to keep patients from flirting, but your observant colleague Jack notices and wants more.
A/N: Sorry for the lack of posts, I've been sick. This work is all mine, and proofread by Grammarly.
Masterlist
No two days in the emergency department were ever the same.
Some nights were quiet, with only a couple of patients coming in with fevers or coughs. Other nights were utterly chaotic, ambulances rolling in back-to-back, alarms blaring, doctors and nurses moving like a storm through the hallways.
But one thing never seemed to change: the patients who thought the emergency department was the perfect place to find a date.
You learned that lesson after just a week of working in the ED.
It didnât matter if someone had a broken arm or had suffered a heart attack; some men still found the energy to wink, grin, or make comments that made your skin crawl while you were trying to work. Sometimes it was harmless. Most of the time, it wasnât. And there was no running away when you were their doctor.
So you developed a plan.
When you transferred to PTMC and started working the night shift, the solution became routine. You werenât married. But a simple ring on your finger changed everything.
It wasnât flashy, just a simple silver brand that lived on your left hand whenever you had to work a shift. Most people assumed it was a wedding ring from a happy marriage, and you let them think that. In reality, it had cost ten dollars from an online store.
But it worked.
Some patients would never see you as their doctor, someone who had spent years in med school at the top of their class. Instead, they only saw a pretty woman standing close enough to flirt with.
However, when was there a ring on your finger? Suddenly, you were someoneâs wife.
So the comments stopped. The winks. The âyou got a boyfriend?â question. Everything disappeared. Apparently, being someoneâs wife made you off-limits in a way that simply saying no never did. Like you were someone elseâs property, it made them hesitate. Stupid, but the logic worked, so the ring stayed.
If any of your new co-workers noticed it, they never mentioned it or just assumed the obvious. Except Jack.
Jack Abbot noticed everything around him.
It was a habit from years as an army medic and now attending in one of the busiest emergency departments in the city. Jack didnât just see charts and symptoms. He saw the small things, the way someone held their shoulder, the slight limp in their step, the tremor in their hand.
And he noticed your ring. Not only because he was staring, but also because it was always there. You had a habit of twisting it when charting. It tapped against the counter when you were thinking. It left a bump under your gloves. It was a small detail, but Jackâs brain catalogued it anyway.
You were still new, and the few details that Jack knew about you had him intrigued: married, new to the hospital and worked well under pressure. And then there was something else he couldn't quite place, the pull he felt towards you.
This night shift had started like any other, chaos in bursts but slowed at times. You were tucked into your usual rhythm, moving between patients, checking vitals and charting.Â
It wasnât until the trauma phone went off that it paused your movements.
âLevel two trauma, motor vehicle collision," Lena shouted as she answered the call. âFive minutes out.â
Your adrenaline spiked, and Jack was already moving, tablet in one hand, gloves snapping as he prepped for the incoming patient. You were paired on this trauma together, moving almost instinctively as a team.
The patient arrived bloodied, unconscious, and chest rattling with each forced breath. You slid the IV line into the patientâs arm while Jack called out instructions for the rest of the team.Â
Jackâs eyes were everywhere at once, vitals, monitors, and the team's movement, but his gaze happened to flick across your hand. And that's when he noticed. Your ring. It wasnât there.
A small detail that others would have overlooked, but made him pause for a fraction of a second. A movement he couldn't afford in a place like this. He didnât realize until now how much he had noticed it, how automatic it was to look at you during shifts and see that silver band wrapped around your finger. Tonight, it was nowhere to be found.
Jack quickly turned his focus back on the patient, but the details lingered in his mind.
Minutes passed in a blur of intubation, transfusion, chest compressions, and desperate interventions. Despite the skill and precision of the team, the injuries were too severe.
The patient coded. The monitor went flat. Time of death was announced.
You stepped back, heart sinking, and Jackâs hand went to your shoulder, not to blame, but to ground you as the weight of loss pressed down on the team. Sometimes, despite doing everything right, it wasnât enough.
By the end of the shift, the ED was quieter than usual. The hum of machines, the footsteps of staff cleaning up, and the weight of loss hung heavy in the air. Jack glanced at you while filling the final chart, noticing that your finger remained bare.
âAre you going out too?â He asked. Shen had suggested that everyone go out for a drink to cope, and no one seemed to argue.
âYeah⌠I could really use a drink.â Your hands hovered over the keyboard, trembling slightly.
Jackâs gaze lingered on you, a mixture of concern and something softer, harder to define. âYeah⌠me too,â he muttered. The unspoken weight between you decided for you.
There was a bar a few blocks down from the hospital where everyone gathered after shifts. It was louder than usual for a weekday, the low thrum of music and conversation filling up the air. It had discounted drinks and dim lighting, a place where no one asked the doctors or nurses what had just happened when it looked like they had been through hell.Â
Jack was sitting in a booth near the back with John, nursing a half-finished beer. His scrubs had been swapped for a dark jacket, but exhaustion still lined his face.
John exhaled slowly, rubbing a hand down his face. âHell of a shift.â
Jack nodded once, staring at the condensation on his bottle. âYeah.â Silence followed, heavy but not awkward. The burden of the night weighed on him.
His eyes drifted across the bar and landed on you. You were on a stool near the counter, chatting with one of the nurses, a drink in hand. Your laugh was softer than usual, slower, the kind that came from alcohol loosening the edges of the hard night.
His gaze dropped to your hand once again.
Still no ring.
âHey,â John said, standing and grabbing his empty bottle. âIâm getting another. Want one?â
Jack lifted his bottle slightly. âIâm good.â
John nodded and disappeared into the crowd.
Jack leaned back in the booth, letting his eyes wander again. They found you on your way over, movement slightly unsteady, yet deliberate.
âHey, Doc,â you muttered, sliding into the seat across from him, sighing softly as your forearms rested on the table.
âYou okay?â he asked immediately. It wasnât unusual for Jack to see his coworkers like this after a shift, but he still wondered if this was normal for you.
You huffed out a small laugh that didnât sound very amused. âDefine okay.â
Jack didnât answer right away. Instead, he studied you, the tired eyes, the way your shoulders slumped, the weight of the night still sitting on you.
âRough one,â he said finally.
Your gaze dropped to the table. âYeah.â
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The noise of the bar filled the silence.
âI kinda like this part,â you admitted quietly.
Jack tilted his head slightly. âThe bar?â
You shrugged, tracing the rim of your glass with your finger. âYeah⌠not why weâre here, exactly. But the team gets together. Feels⌠lighter. Less like youâre carrying it alone.â
He softened. Heâd seen too many new doctors burn out trying to carry everything. He understood.
âAt my last hospital,â you continued, your voice a little looser from the alcohol. âEveryone just⌠went home. Pretended nothing happened. But here you guys carry the wins and the losses together.â
âYeah,â he said quietly. âIt helps.â
You nodded, shoulders relaxing slightly as you took another sip. Even in your tiredness, there was a warmth to you now.
For a second, Jack just studied you again. The way the tension slowly left your posture. The way you still looked tired but lighter now that the shift was behind you.
Then his eyes drifted back down to your hand. Bare,
He hesitated before speaking. âSo⌠everything alright at home?â
You blinked up at him. âAt home?â
Jack nodded subtly toward your hand. âYou usually wear a ring.â
You stared at him, surprised. Then laughed, soft, tipsy, a little embarrassed. âOh my god⌠alright, Iâll let you in on a secret.â
Jackâs brow lifted.
âWhat?â
You held up your hand, wiggling your fingers slightly.
âItâs fake,â You leaned back in the booth a little, clearly amused.Â
ââŚYour ring is fake?â
You nodded, taking another sip of your drink before explaining. âPatients, some of them get⌠handys. Especially at night. You say no, you ignore them, but it doesn't always work.â
Jackâs jaw tightened slightly. Yeah. Heâd seen that.
âSo I bought a ring,â you continued, tapping your bare finger. âTen dollars online. Suddenly, Iâm someoneâs wife. The flirting stops. Itâs like magic. Stupid, but it works.â
Jack studied you quietly for a moment. It wasnât the confession itself that caught his attention; it was the way you said it so casually, as youâd simply adapted to the world instead of letting it push you out of a job you clearly loved.Â
âThatâs⌠actually pretty clever,â he admitted.
You grinned. âRight?â
Jackâs gaze lingered, softer now. âSo the husband doesnât exist.â
âNope.â
Jack smiled into his drink, a warmth threading through him. Somehow, hearing this made him admire you more.
âWell,â he said casually, taking another sip of his beer, âif youâre going to invent a husbandâŚâ
You raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by where this was going.
ââŚyou should at least give the guy a decent name.â
You laughed softly. âOh yeah?â you asked. âWhat would you name him then?â
Jack pretended to think about it for a moment, leaning back in the booth.
âHm.â
Your eyes narrowed playfully. His gaze met yours, something teasing sparking there.
âJack,â he said.
You blinked.
âJack?â
He shrugged lightly, a small grin forming.
âSounds reasonable.â
You stared at him for a second before laughing, the sound warmer this time.
âWow,â you said. âThatâs bold.â
Jack lifted his bottle slightly, clearly enjoying himself now.
âJust saying,â he replied. âIf youâre going to make up a fake husband, you might as well pick a good one.â
You shook your head, still smiling into your drink.
âCareful, Abbot,â you said lightly. âPeople might start to think youâre volunteering.â
Jackâs eyes stayed on you a moment longer than necessary.
âWould that be so bad?â he asked quietly.
The question hung between you for a beat before the noise of the bar swallowed it again.
The next shift felt strangely normal after the night before.Â
Did you drunkenly flirt with a fellow attending? Yes, but did you regret it? Nope.
The ED hummed with its usual controlled chaos; it almost felt strange that the world kept moving after a shift like that. You were currently charting at the nursesâ station, twisting the silver band on your finger without really thinking about it.
âNice to see your husbandâs back.â
You looked up. Jack was leaning against the counter across from you, tablet tucked under his arm, the corner of his mouth curved in that quiet, knowing smile.
âOh my god,â you laughed, shaking your head. âAre you really going to start with that today?â
âOf course,â he said, a small, confident grin tugging at his lips. âIâm hoping to get an audition to play him.â
You blinked at him, half amused, half exasperated.
âWhat?â you said, lifting an eyebrow.
âIf youâre going to invent a husband,â he continued, voice low and teasing, âsomeone has to audition for the role. And I think Iâd be perfect.â
You laughed softly, shaking your head. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âRidiculous, maybe,â he admitted, â but if I'm going to audition for the role properly.. I should probably take my lovely wife out⌠maybe for dinner or coffee sometime. To make sure I'm playing the part right.â
You blinked, caught off guard by the smoothness of it. âJack Abbot, are you asking me out on a date?
Jackâs grin widened, confident but teasing. âCall it a test run. Coffee after shift, and I can show you my best husband skills.â
You felt a blush creep up your neck and laughed softly, shaking your head. âI⌠Yes, that sounds perfect.â
âGood, Iâll see you later, wifey.â With that, Jack left the nurses' station, heading into a patient room.
Your chest tightened, heart beating faster. Somehow, the chaos of the ED and the fake ring felt far away. Jack Abbot had made something pretend feel achingly real.
Summary: Jack auditions to be your fake husband, but teasing, pie, and unexpected moments make pretending feel all too real.
A/N: This can be read as Part 2 of Happily Married, or as a standalone one-shot. This work is entirely mine and has been proofread with Grammarly.
Masterlist
It had started as something so casual.
You took Jack up on his offer for his audition as your husband, because honestly, who wouldnât? It was supposed to be a joke. A solution. Something easy.
Somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling like pretending.
What started as coffee after long shifts turned into breakfast when neither of you felt like going home yet. Breakfasts turned into late-night takeout on the hospital roof, sitting just a little too close, shoulders brushing like it was nothingâexcept it didn't feel like nothing.
And âWifeyâ started to sound less like a joke and more like a real title.Â
You just haven't said it out loud, but the feelings were there.
Building, whether you wanted to admit them or not.
âOkay,â you said, leaning back in the booth, arm crossing loosely as you studied Jack across the table. âBe honest with me.â
Jack didnât even look up at first, fingers already unwrapping his burger like this was routine by now. âThat doesnât sound very promising.â
âYou only come here because Verma gives you a free slice of pie.â
That got his attention.
His eyes flickered up to yours, one brow lifting slightly, like he was deciding whether or not to entertain this.
âI come here,â he said, calm as ever, âbecause itâs five minutes from the hospital, and it's your favourite spot after a shift.â
You scoffed, leaning forward, elbows pressing into the table. âThat is notââ you paused, thinking about it. â...okay, so that might actually be true.â
âOh, I know,â He took a bite of his burger, completely unbothered.Â
You narrowed your eyes at him, dragging the plate with the pie a little closer. Blueberry. Special of the day.
âStill doesn't explain the pie.â
âI didn't ask for it.â
âJack,â You picked up the fork, leaving him with a look. âShe doesn't just give out pie.â
â She does for me, obviously.â
âThatâs not the argument you think it is.â
Jack finally looked at you properly, a slow smile tugging his mouth. Something teasing settled in his expression, his posture relaxed, fingers tapping lightly against the table.
âShe thinks Iâm hot.â
You blinked. âWhat?â
He shrugged, completely serious. âHer words, not mine.â
You stared at him for a second, trying to decide if he was joking. âNo way, that Verma, the sweet old lady, called you hot.â
Jack leaned back, sipping his drink like this was a completely normal conversation. âYou weren't there. Last time I came in without, she pointed it out.â
Your hand paused halfway to your mouth. âPointed what out?â
âThat I must clean up nice,â ââhe said easily, like this was the most ordinary thing in the world. âThen she asked where my lady was.â
You froze, fork halfway to your mouth. ââŚShe actually said that?â
His mouth twitched. âSaid there is nothing hotter than a doctor, and itâs a shame I showed up without my girl. But she could keep me warm if I got cold.â
Your eyes went wide, and the fork clattered back onto the plate. You leaned back in the booth, shoulders practically hitting the backrest. ââŚAn eighty-year-old woman said that? Out loud?â
Jack tilted his head, like he was genuinely considering it. âYeah. Shocking, right?â His eyes glinted with mischief.
A laugh broke out of you, half disbelief, half delight. âI canât. Thatâs insane.â
Jack let out a chuckle, stretching his leg under the table. âExactly. Totally normal behaviour.âÂ
âI cannot deal with you.â
âYouâre still eating it,â he pointed out, glancing at the pie.
âThatâs not the point.â
âIt kind of is.â
Thenâ
âJACK?â
The voice cut across the diner like an alarm.
Robby.
Your stomach dropped as he stormed up to the table, eyes wide, jaw tight, hands planted on his hips like heâd just walked in on a crime.â
âWhat the hell is going on here?â he demanded, voice low but sharp.
Jackâs posture tensed at the harness of Robby's voice. âRobbyââ
A finger jabbed toward his face. âYou homewrecker!â
Your eyes nearly popped out of your head.
Jack blinked once. âExcuse me?â
âYou heard me,â Robby stepped closer, voice rising. âSheâs married, Jack! Married! And here you areââ He gestured wildly between the two of you, voice climbing in horror. ââdating her! Are you insane?â
You bit your lip, laughter threatening to spill over. Oh my god. He has no idea.
Jack lifted a hand, clearly trying to interrupt to calm him down. âRobbyââ
âDonât âRobbyâ me!â he snapped, then suddenly lunged toward Jack, grabbing him by the shoulder and hauling him out of the booth like a kid caught sneaking candy. âThink with your fucking brain, man!â
That did it, you doubled over, laughter finally breaking free, tears gathering in your eyes. Robby was frantically trying to tug Jack around to knock some sense into him, and Jack, well, he was just smirking like he had been caught committing a crime.
â...Robby,â you managed between laughs, âyou do not understand what you're talking about.â
He froze, still gripping Jack, his snapped towards you. â...Wait. What?â
Jack didn't even try to pull away. Instead, he glanced over at you, that same calm, amused look on his face like this was the best part of his day.
âYou want to explain it to him, wifey?â
You broke again, laughter spilling out.
âYouâre not helping yourself, mister,â you gasped, shaking your head, one hand coming up to cover your mouth as you tried to breathe.
Jack just shrugged, like that explained everything.
You dragged in a breath, trying to compose yourself. âIâm not married,â you managed, pointing between the two of you. â The ring, the marriage, all of it. Itâs fake.â
Robby blinked.
Once.
Twice.
ââŚIâm sorry, what?â
Robby just stared at the two of you, looking between your faces, Jack, then your hands again, like the ring had personally betrayed him.
ââŚYouâre not married?,â he said slowly.
âNope.â
âNot yet, at least,â Jack added, shooting you a quick wink.Â
Robby exhaled hard, finally letting go of Jack as he dragged a hand down his face. âI just, I saw the ring, people at work were talking about your husband, and then I walk in and see thisââ he motioned between the booth, the pie, and the two of you, ââand youâre calling her âwifey.ââ
Jack smirked, his eyes flicking back to you. âIt fits.â
Your stomach flipped. âItâs a long story.â
ââRobby groaned, turning in a slow circle like he needed a full reset. For a second, he looked like he was bracing for the worst HR nightmare the ED had ever seen.
âI almost dragged you out of this building.â
âYou did haul me out of the booth,â Jack pointed out.
A quieter laugh slipped out of you.âThis is the best thing thatâs happened all week.â
Robby pointed at you. âYou think this is funny?â
âYes,â you answered immediately. âYou called him a homewrecker over pie.â
Jack huffed out a quiet laugh at that, sliding back into the booth beside you as if he belonged there, arm brushing yours for just a second longer than necessary.Â
Robby threw his hands up. âI need air. I cannot be here for this.â
Before either of you could stop him, he grabbed his bag and bolted for the door, muttering about homewreckers, pie, and the world collapsing.
The door swung shut behind him.
Jack leaned back, still grinning, dragging a hand over the back of his neck. ââŚWell. That was something.â
You snorted, shaking your head. âSomething? He was about two seconds away from calling HR.â
A knowing grin pulled at his lips. âI think I handled it pretty well.â
âYou got called a homewrecker over pie,â you shot back, pointing at him. âThatâs your definition of handling it well?â
He shrugged, entirely unfazed, his arm still stretched along the back of the booth behind you.âIâve been called worse.â
âUnbelievable.â
His gaze flicked to you, something softer slipping in for just a second before the teasing returned.
âYouâre still here,â he said.
You rolled your eyes, but your smile gave you away. âUnfortunately.â
âMm.â He leaned in slightly, voice dropping. âGood.â
You raised a brow, glancing at him. âGood?â
Jackâs mouth twitched.
âYou knowâŚâ he murmured, as the thought had just occurred to him, âIâd make a pretty good mistress.â
You choked on a laugh, staring at him. âA mistress?â
He shrugged. âJust for you.â
You glanced away, smiling to yourself, laughing, trying to ignore the way your chest flipped. âYou are insane.â
âMaybe,â he said, eyes still on you, softer now.
You held his gaze for a second too long before looking away, a smile lingering.
ââŚEat your pie,â you muttered, nudging the plate toward him.
Jack grinned as heâd just won something, reaching for the fork without hesitation.
And somehow, you had the feeling it wasnât just the pie.
Summary: In the chaos of a mass-casualty call, your badges get swapped, leading to a quiet, loving moment with Jack as you switch them back.
A/N: I need more Abbot on my screen now! This work is all mine, and proofread by Grammarly.
Masterlist
The page comes in while you and Jack are still tangled together in bed, limbs warm and sweaty under the blanket.
The sheets are twisted around your legs, your fingers brushing against his arm, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat through the warmth of his chest. His head is buried into your shoulder, and you watch the slow rise and fall of his chest. The softness of his hair grazes your cheeks, and the faint scent of his cologne lingers in the bedroom air.
Not one, but the two sharp shrills echo through the quiet, dark room.
For a moment, neither of you moves, letting the warmth sink into your bones one last time. You cling to the familiar weight of him, memorizing the feelings of being wrapped in his arms.
Then the blankets are thrown back. Clothes are shoved on in a rush.
âTrain derailment,â Jack mutters, already reaching for his pager. âMass casualty.â
You don't even answer, just nod; both pagers going off are already a serious clue that something big has happened.
It was barely ten minutes ago that you were in bed, still feeling the lingering warmth of each other's skin, but now you're both pushing through the ambulance bay doors as if you're late.
The emergency department is pure chaos.
Sirens still wail outside as paramedics flood in, wheeling stretcher after stretcher, while nurses move quickly between trauma bays. Voices overlap with orders and updates, and someone is shouting for more crash carts. Monitors beep in uneven rhythms, alarms screaming in bursts, each one pulling your attention in a different direction. The smell of antiseptic and blood cuts through the air. The noise is so loud it makes your head spin.
You toss your bag aside, almost forgetting it in your rush, clipping your badge on without thinking. Jack does the same. Neither of you notices the switch, too busy being swept into the utter madness. Somewhere in the noise, the warmth and intimacy of the morning feel miles away.
You barely see Jack after you split off. One second, heâs beside you, next he's being pulled into Trauma Two while youâre being escorted into Trauma Four.
âDoctor, over here! Males, mid-forties, chest trauma, hypotensiveââ a paramedic sounds as you slide the stretcher into the bay.
Youâre already moving. âOn my count: one, two, three,â you guide the team as the patient is transferred over. âGet me a pressure bag and a quick exam.â
Hands follow your motions automatically, your mind running through the mental checklist without a conscious thought. Every movement is precise, every order sharp, every instruction crisp.Â
âBPâs dropping!â a nurse calls.
âBreath sounds decreased on the leftââ
You donât hesitate. âPrep for a chest tube.â
âIâll assist.â
The voice is close this time. Robby.Â
You glance up just enough to see him stepping into the chaos beside you, already gloved, focused, moving with the ease of someone who has done this hundreds of times.
âLetâs do this,â he adds.
Everything narrows after that. Hands steady, orders sharp. No wasted movement. You work around each other seamlessly, like a well-oiled machine. Friendly and familiar even amidst the chaos, the unspoken trust between you is clear.
âTube in.â
âGreat. Watch his pressure.â Robby calls.
âItâs coming up.â
A brief sigh of relief floats through the room when the patient's pressure stabilizes. For a moment, the chaos eases, and Robbyâs gaze flicks towards you.
Down.
Your badge.
His eyes linger for a second.
Fucking knew it, he thinks, internally laughing at how obvious it is now that you and Abbot are together. Another glance, just to be sure, then he looks back towards the patient as if nothing happened.Â
âNice call,â he murmurs, already refocusing.
And just like that, what he saw is buried, under the noise, under the urgency, under everything else.
It wasnât until you finally stepped out into the hallway that the adrenaline started to wear off.
You tug your gloves, exhaling slowly, the snap of latex echoing faintly as you toss them into the garbage. The chaos of the trauma room still rings in your ears.
Besides you, Robby is also pulling his gloves off, a little slower but more deliberate.Â
âNice work, Abbot,â he says.
You frown, confusion washing over your face. â...What?â
He doesn't answer right away. Instead, he glances sideways at you before lifting his hand, gesturing towards your chest.
Your stomach drops before you even look down.
But you do.
And there it is.Â
Jack Abbot, Doctor.
Clipped neatly onto your scrubs as if it belongs there.
Shit
Your fingers brush the badge, hoping maybe a simple touch could make your own name reappear. It doesn't.Â
Your mind races, shifting through chaos, the adrenaline, the exhaustion. Of course, it had to be Robby who noticed. He isnât the chief for nothing. Your chest tightens slightly, not from embarrassment but from the knowledge that Robby finally knows your secret.
Robby lets out a quiet breath, a mix of hum and a suppressed laugh.
âI noticed back there,â he mentions, glancing back at the trauma room you both just came from. âWhen you called for the chest tube.â
You freeze. If he noticed that in all of that chaosâŚwho else did?
âFigured Iâd wait,â he adds, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You exhale, tension creeping in now, sharper than before. âRobbyââ
âDonât ruin this.â
You blink. âRuin what exactly?â
âThis,â he says, finally looking at you properly now, the grin breaking through. âThis is too good.â
You cross your arms, trying to pull yourself together, even as your pulse picks up. âItâs a simple mistake.â
âMmm.â He hums, unconvinced. âYou just somehow happened to grab his badge? In the dark? Maybe while trying to get dressed in a hurry.â
You donât answer. The silence already tells Robby everything he needs. His expression shifts from amusement to quiet satisfaction, the kind of smug certainty that says I knew it. The subtle lift of his brow, the slight ease in his shoulders. He was right. Always.
Finally, you let out a laugh, letting the truth slip out. Heâs going to find out eventually; might as well just tell him.
âYeah,â you whisper. âThatâs what happened.â
Robbyâs grin widened, triumphant and teasing but still completely warm. Heâs not disappointed, god knows Jack needs someone steady in his life like you. Heâs satisfied that his growing suspicion of you two has been proven right.
âI so knew it,â he murmurs mostly to himself, tilting his head, then adds, nudging you subtly, âGo find the actual Dr. Abbot and switch badges. Before anyone else notices your little secret.â
You shake your head, tired. âI hate you.â
âMm,â he hums, clearly pleased. âThatâs what everyone says when Iâm right.â
For the first time since the trauma room, the tension in your chest eases, your shoulder loosening. A calm, settling feeling washes over you at the knowledge that Robby's approval and teasing bring, right in the middle of the chaos.
You don't have to look very far to find Jack. Heâs just outside of Trauma Two, speaking with one of the nurses, his voice low and steady as he goes over updates. His sleeves are still rolled up from working; he looks the same as he always does after something like this, focused, grounded, like the chaos never affects him in the way it does for everyone else.
You watch the way he nods, the way his hand rests on his hip, the way his weight settles more firmly on his left side.
The memory of how close you were just an hour ago, warm sheets, quiet breaths, his arms wrapped around you, rushes back. And now this.
Your chest feels full, content.
His eyes flick up and find you immediately. No confusion, just recognition, like he's been aware of you the entire time, even when he wasn't looking.
âGive me a second,â he says to the nurse, already stepping away and heading towards you.
You meet him halfway. The ED noise fades into the background.
You donât say anything right away, but neither does he. Enjoying the little moment.
Then his gaze drops towards your badge.
He lets out a soft laugh, his shoulders shaking slightly as he tips his head down.
âNo way,â he murmurs, tapping the badge lightly. âYouâre kidding me.â
âWe didn't notice when we got paged in,â you murmur back, a mixture of groan and smile.
âI can tell,â he says easily, still smiling. âStill funny, though.â
âRobby knows,â you whisper.
Jack pauses. Then a small, knowing smile tugs at his lips.
âIâm guessing thatâs how you found out,â he says, glancing at you, âHe noticed before you did?â
âOf course he did,â you admit.
Jack shakes his head lightly. âYeah. That sounds like him.â
A quiet pause settles between you.
âWe should probably switch them back.â
âProbably,â he agrees.
But neither of you moves right away, as if stepping back means breaking something.
Jack unclips his badge from your scrubs. Your breath catches, both simple and profound. You do the same, removing his from your chest. The trade is quick, charged, fingers brushing softly, lingering longer than necessary.
You feel the warmth of him through the contact, the rise and fall of his breathing steady and grounding. Neither pulls away.
Jack takes hold of your badge, glancing down at your name, your title, before looking back up at you. Something in his expression shifts. Softer. Loving. He leans closer in just enough to share the warmth in the bright hallway.
âOne day,â he adds, a faint smile pulling at his lips, âthat badge might say Abbot anyway.â
Your breath catches. Not from surprise. From the way he says it. As if these few months together meant everything to him. Something warm spreads through you, grounding you in a way the adrenaline never could.
ââŚYeah?â you ask quietly.
Jack holds your gaze for a second longer than necessary.
âYeah,â he says, certain. In that single word, you feel the weight of everything he feels for you, how much he trusts you, how much he loves you.
He finally steps back, just enough to break the tension, but his gaze never wavers, carrying all of it without a single word.
Then, almost casually, he says, âLetâs get back to work.â
The words are ordinary, but the look that comes with them is anything but. It lingers in your mind, steady and warm, as you turn and step back into the rush of the hospital together, badges finally switched, side by side, knowing youâll be back in bed together soon.
Summary: A normal ER shift takes a highly unexpected turn when a patientâs homemade brownies hit a little too hard
A/N: Requests are welcome! This work is entirely mine and has been proofread with Grammarly.
Masterlist
The emergency department was in its usual chaotic rhythm by the time you clocked in. It was one of those days where you were constantly moving, in and out of patient rooms, checking vitals, administering medication, juggling a million other things at once. Voices overlapped from every direction. Someone was calling for labs, someone else was asking for meds, and a paramedic was giving a report too fast for anyone to fully catch.
That was the thing about this place: you didn't ease into a shift, you went in swinging. No warm-up, no pause. Just straight into it.
Youâd barely set your bag down when you saw the nurse's light flash for assistance in room seven.
âI got room seven,â you called out, not really to anyone in particular, just enough for the rest of the staff to know it was covered.
You were already moving towards the hall whenâ
âHey.â
You glanced over your shoulder, instinctively searching for the familiar voice. Jack was leaning back against the counter, tablet in hand, but he wasnât really looking at it. His attention was on you, had been since you came through the staff doors. His gaze followed you easily, like it always did, picking you out of the chaos without trying.
It was second nature to him.Â
âTry not to get into too much trouble today, will you?â he called after you, as if he knew what kind of day you were already about to have.
You snorted, not even slowing as you kept walking. âNo promises, babe.â
His mouth twitched in amusement as he watched you.
âThat's what I was afraid of,â he muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.
You shook your head, continuing onto room seven, but now with a small smile tugging at your lips. You could feel it, even without turning backâ his eyes lingered on you, warm and affectionate.
Room seven was like a breath of fresh air when you entered.Â
A sweet, elderly woman sat on the edge of the bed, her hair neatly pinned back in a bun and a tan cardigan draped over her shoulders. She looked like the stereotypical grandmother who appeared on television. She smiled as you stepped in, her eyes twinking with a warmth that immediately put you at ease.
âHello, Maâam, I saw you needed some help?â you asked, moving closer.
âNone of that,â she said with a playful shake of her head. âPlease, call me Betty.â
âBetty,â you repeated with a smile. âAlright, Betty. How can I help you today?â
âWell,â she said, reaching for the call button at her bedside. âI hit this because I didn't know if you folks forgot about silly old me.â She laughed softly. âAnd I've been watching, you all seem so kind to one another.â
You chuckled. âItâs not that we forgot, Betty. Itâs just âŚbusy here.â You gestured vaguely at the chos outside of her room. âBut Iâll check your vitals again. Your X-rays still haven't come back yet, so weâll keep an eye on things until they do.â
Bettyâs eyes lit up as she reached beside her bed and handed you a blue Tupperware container. âThe last doctor forgot to take these,â she said gently. âBut these are some homemade brownies I made for you all. You guys work so hard, and I wanted to do something as nice as a thank you.â
You hesitated for a second, torn between hospital policy and her genuine kindness. The container was full of slightly uneven but perfectly golden brownies, the cocoa aroma drifting up to your senses immediately.
âBetty⌠you didn't have to,â you thanked her, genuinely touched.
âOh, I wanted to, dear,â she replied warmly, her smile sincere. âI just wanted to make your day a little easier.â
You nodded, carefully accepting the container. Rules be damned, you weren't going to upset this kind old lady.
For a moment, the chaos of the ED felt just a little lighter.Â
The break room was a rare moment of quiet amid the usual chaos of the ED. It wasnât often that you were able to sit down and actually relax in here.
You placed Bettyâs Tupperware on the counter for anyone who wanted a treat. You couldnât resist eating one of the brownies; it was warm, sweet, and unexpectedly comforting, the kind of little indulgence that made the chaos of the shift feel just a bit easier.
You returned to your duties, leaving the rest of the brownies safely in the room for the rest of the staff. Completely ordinary, you told yourself. A little chocolate never hurt anyone.
The nurseâs station was buzzing as usual, phone ringing, monitors beeping, colleagues chatting, but you moved through it all with your usual efficiency⌠or at least you thought you were.
Jack, standing nearby, tilted his head slightly as he watched you file through charts. Something about the way you moved, the little smile tugging at your lips a little too often, made him pause. He was suspicious; you seemed just a little too cheerful for someone powering through a twelve-hour shift.
Dana wandered over, chewing her gum while balancing a stack of charts. She stopped mid-step, squinting at you. Did she just see you laugh at one of your own notes?Â
âHoney, are you alright?â she asked slowly.
You blinked at her, genuinely confused. âHuh? Oh, no.. I just saw something funny, thatâs all.â You waved her concern and returned to sorting the notes, completely unaware of the faint wobble in your step.
Dana exchanged a glance with Jack, leaning in slightly. âIs she okay?â she murmured.
Jack shrugged, still unsure. âI think so. Just a little off. Probably lack of sleep.â
For a while, you continued through the shift, moving through the patients' charts and checking IVs as normal, though this time a little more giggly. You hummed under your breath as you worked, swaying when it involved leaving the desk.
Eventually, the first unmistakable wave hit. You found yourself leaning against a counter, laughing at nothing in particular, flicking pens and notes across the nurses' station without meaning to.Â
Danaâs narrowed, and this time she knew something was seriously wrong. âOkay..â she muttered, walking over and gently taking your arm. âYouâre coming with me.â
âWhere?â you asked brightly, giggling as you let her guide you down the hall, your fingers brushing along her arm without even realizing it. Each step felt floaty, just a little too easy, and you leaned into her touch more than necessary, smiling up at her like it was the most natural thing in the world.
âSit down here,â Dana said, motioning to an empty patient room. âI just want to make sure youâre okay for a second.â
You plopped onto the edge of the bed, still giggling softly, reaching for Danaâs hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. âDana⌠youâre so nice,â you murmured, leaning closer than usual. âI donât know what Iâd do without you.â
Danaâs eyes widened, then flicked towards the hallway, a frown crossing her face. Something was definitely off. âI need to go get Jack, okay?â she muttered, letting go of your arm and stepping out quickly to call him.
You hummed contentedly, sinking into the edge of the bed, your finger brushing over the soft sheets. The fabric felt impossibly smooth, comforting in a way that made you sigh happily.Â
âOh⌠Jack,â you murmured as soon as you saw him step into the room, your eyes lighting up. âThese sheets⌠we need a pair for home. Theyâre⌠amazing.â You wiggled your fingers along the fabric, completely enraptured, your smile wide and dreamy.
Jack knelt beside you, raising an eyebrow but keeping his voice calm. âYou want our bed to have hospital sheets?â He couldn't believe his ears.
You tilted your head, still running your hands over the soft fabric. âNot the hospital ones ⌠these. Soft like clouds.â
Jack exchanged a glance with Dana, who had just stepped in behind him, her lips pressed together to hide a smirk. Both of them blinked, trying to make sense of the dreamy, almost floaty expression on your face.
âBaby, are you okay?â he asked cautiously. âYou seem different.â
You leaned into him, pressing your cheek against his chest. âYouâre so handsome,â you murmured. âI love you so much, even though you snore.â
ââJack froze, exchanging a stunned glance with Dana. Her eyes narrowed slightly. âIs she high?â
Jack ran a hand through his hair, assessing the situation calmly. Why is she high? And how in the world on shift? âOkay⌠babe, when was the last time you ate today?
ââŚBreakfast?â you answered thoughtfully, tilting your head like it required serious consideration.
Jackâs eyes narrowed. âJust breakfast?â
Your face brightened suddenly. âOh! Wait⌠some patient! An old lady gave me brownies!â
Jack blinked. âBrownies?â
You nodded eagerly. âIn the break room! Jack, you need to try them; they were so good.â You emphasize, trying to figure out why earlier you didn't bother to bring a brownie to Jack so he could try them.
Danaâs eyes flicked to Jack, her lips pressed together, and she whispered, âIâm already on it,â before stepping quickly to go and try to avoid another disaster.
Jack exhaled softly, a mix of relief and amusement washing over him. Now that he knows why you're like this. He let his hand drift to your shoulder as you nuzzled into him.Â
âHow about we go home?â he murmured gently, brushing a strand of hair from your face. âBefore you get into any trouble.â
You giggled, wrapping an arm around his neck. âYeah⌠home to our bed.â
Jack smiled, shaking his head. âAlright, letâs get out of here before you start causing a scene,â He carefully guided you off the bed. In any other instance, he would carry you in this state, but he knew it would draw more attention than needed.
You leaned fully into him, fingers tracing along his shoulders, humming softly. âAre you going to be in bed with me?
Jack nodded and ensured he wrapped his arm securely around your waist, steering you down the hall, subtly dodging busy staff and shielding you from anyone who might notice. You swayed slightly with each step, giggling at nothing and murmuring little compliments about him.Â
Just as you made it to the emergency exit, Robby appeared, arriving for his shift. You waved lazily, eyes sparkling. âHey, handsome! You coming with us⌠or just want to watch?â
Jack shot him a pointed look while his ears turned red. âIâll tell you later,â he muttered, tugging you gently forward. Robby stood there, clearly flustered and confused, while you giggled softly, leaning into Jack even more.
You pressed a soft kiss to his shoulder. âI love you⌠so muchâŚâ
âI know, babe,â Jack murmured, smiling as he guided you toward the exit. âI love you too⌠however, no more brownies for you.â
He helped you settle into the passenger seat, gently buckling you in. You leaned your head against the window for a second, eyes half-lidded and dreamy, still holding his hand.
âYouâre lucky I love you,â he murmured, a soft smile tugging at his lips.
âI know⌠so buy me new sheets,â you whispered back, your fingers tracing lightly along his hand.
Jack pressed a quick, affectionate kiss to your forehead. âAlright⌠home we go,â he said, starting the engine.Â
You sighed contentedly, your head resting against the seat, fingers still entwined with his. Slowly, your eyelids grew heavy, your body relaxing in the warmth of the car, and the lingering effects of the brownies lulled you toward sleep.
And just like that, you drifted into a peaceful sleep, warm and cared for, Jack quietly keeping watch as the car hummed toward home.
Summary: A routine ER shift takes a sharp turn when a Jane Doe arrives wearing Jackâs dog tags.
A/N: Requests are welcome! This work is entirely mine and has been proofread with Grammarly.
Masterlist
This day wasn't out of the ordinary for you.
Jack had been called into the hospital, so you decided to run some errands instead. Just another walk through the city, another stretch of pavement leading you towards your favourite cafĂŠ. The street was bustling with lunchtime rush, people brushing past without even looking up, all of it so normal you stopped noticing anything outside your immediate line of sight.
You donât see the window workers until itâs already too late.
Thereâs a shout, somewhere overhead, sharp, distant, dismissed instantly by your brain as background chaos.
Then something shifts overhead.
A shadow.
A sudden loss of control.
Like something heavy slipping when it shouldnât.
You look up.
The bucket tips over the edge, half full, unbalanced, too far gone to recover.
You have no time to react.
It drops straight down.
The impact is immediate and brutal, striking the top of your head with enough force to erase thoughts.
Air leaves you all once.
Your body goes back with force, the concrete of the sidewalks rushing up before you can even register that youâre falling.Â
You donât feel the landing.
Youâre already gone before your body makes contact.
The ambulance door swings open hard.
Two paramedics rush in with a stretcher.
âFemale, roughly mid-thirtiesâstruck by falling debris,â one of the paramedics calls.
Whitaker is already moving.
âTrauma Two is open,â someone shouts from the nursesâ station.
The stretcher rolls in fast.
âUnconscious on scene,â the paramedic continues. âHasnât come around yet. GSC eight.â
Monitors are attached within seconds. An IV is started. Hands move quickly, practiced, efficient.
Whitaker is at the bedside now, eyes already scanning your injuries.
âWitness said that the window cleanerâs bucket fell from a height,â A paramedic informs. âShe went down immediately.â
âID?â Whitaker asks without looking up.
âNone,â the paramedic says, already reaching into his pocket. âBut we found this on her.â
He places a chain into Whitakerâs hand.
Dog tags.
Whitakerâs focus sharpens instantly.
That changes everything.
He takes them without hesitation, already thinking theyâve just been handed the easiest part of the case. A name means history, allergies, blood type, everything they need.
âGood,â he says under his breath, almost relieved. âWe got lucky.â
He flips the broken tags over.
And stops.
Abbot. Jack.
O Negative.
Fuck.
For a second, the noise of the room is completely drowned out, as if it had been pulled underwater.
 He reads it again, more slowly this time, in case the name changes.
It doesnât.
â...Jesus,â He mutters, barely audible.
A nurse glances over. âYou know her?â
Whitaker doesn't answer right away. His grip tightens slightly on the chain, metal pressing into his palm like letting go of it would make this situation even worse.
Because this wasnât luck.
This was a problem.
A large one.
But more importantly, a very specific oneÂ
âPage, Dr. Robby,â he says, voice sharper now. âAnd Dr. Abbot. Now.â
The nurse moves immediately at the order.
Whitaker set the tags down carefully on the tray beside you, as if they were the most important thing in this room.
Robby arrives first.
He doesn't rush in. He lets his residents lead, but the moment he steps into Trauam Two, the atmosphere shifts anyway.
âWhatâve we got?â he asks, pulling on a pair of gloves.
Whitaker doesn't answer right away.Â
Not because he doesn't know what's going on, but because he canât quite find the words that fit.
Instead, he shifts slightly so Robby can see you.
Not the monitors. Not the chart.
You.
ââRobbyâs expression changes instantly. Subtle, but complete. The kind of shift that happens when a doctor stops seeing a case and starts seeing a person.
He steps closer without even thinking.
His hand finds your wrist automatically, checking your pulse. His other hand moves to your eyes, checking pupils, clinical instinct kicking in.
âFound down,â a nurse says quickly. âStruck by falling debrisâwindow cleanerâs bucket. Unconscious on scene, brief loss of consciousness, GCS eight.â
Robby nods, but thereâs a little delay in it, like the information is landing half a beat too slow.
His hand stays on your wrist a fraction longer than necessary.
âI paged Abbot.â
âHowââ he starts, confused, the word barely out.
He doesnât finish.
Because Whitaker lifts his hand, the broken chain rests between his fingers.Â
Just enough for Robby to see it clearly.
Dog tags.
Everything in Robbyâs expression shifts. Not shock. Recognition. Then something worse. Like the entire situation snaps into place all at once.
â...Oh no,â he says quietly.
His eyes flick back to you immediately.
Because this isnât just some random patient.
This is Jackâs wife.
Robby straightened slightly, like his body was trying to catch up with what his brain already knew.
âNo,â he says under his breath, already shaking his head once. âNo-no, noâŚâ
Whitaker starts to say something. âRobbyââ
But Robby isnât listening anymore.
His attention shifts toward the door like he can feel it before it happens.
âHeâs coming,â Robby says, more to himself than anyone else.
A pause.
âFuck.â Robby exhales through his nose, one hand dragging over his face as he looks back at you again.
Youâre still unconscious. Still pale. Still completely unaware of who's about to walk in.
Whitaker tries again. âRobbyââ
And that's when it finally clicks in his head.
âHe canât see her like this,â Robby says, firmer now, like heâs locking onto the only thing that matters.
Not like this.
And heâs already halfway to the door, trying to get there before Jack does.
Robby barely makes it halfway across the room before the door pushes open again.
Jack.
Heâs already moving fast, eyes ready to assess the situation before anyone even speaks.
âWhat do we have?â he asks, breath just slightly off from the rush. âYou paged me.â
Robby steps in front of him, blocking the doorway without hesitation.
âHeyâ
Jack frowns, thrown off more by that than anything else. âWhat are you doing?â
âJack-â
âMove,â Jack says, sharper now, trying to step around him to assist the patient.
Robby doesnât. âYou canât go in there.â
That stops him.
âWhat?â Jack let out a short, disbelieving breath. âRobby, what are you talking about?â
Behind him, the room keeps moving. Voices, monitors, motion, but Jack canât see any of it past the barrier in front of him.
âJustâwait,â Robby says, quieter now.
âNo,â Jack shakes his head, already trying to step around him. âNo, donât page me and then tell me to wait. Move.â
Robby shifts just an inch, and for a split second, it is enough.
An angle opens up.
Just enough for Jack to see.
There are doctors and nurses,
The bed.
You.
Unconscious.Â
Blood matted into your hair, dark against your skin. Clothes still damp, clinging in the wrong places.Â
Everything in him stops.
The sound of the room drops out completely.
ââŚNo,â he breathes.
Robby moves immediately to block his view again.
âJack,â he says firmly. âYou canâtââ
âThatâs my wife,â Jack cuts in, voice breaking under it despite his effort to hold it together. âWhat happened?â
He tries to move forward again. His brain tries to process what he is seeing. His weight shifts subconsciously to his real leg to ground him. But it all hits at once, too fast, too much.
ââŚNo,â he breathes, barely there.
âJack,â he says, low and steady. âYou canâtââ
Robby stops him, hands on his chest this time.
âYou cannot go in there,â Robby says, stronger now. âYou know that.â
âI donât care.â
âI know,â Robby answers. âBut you will if you make a mistake.â
That lands.
Not because it calms Jackâs nerves, but because it forces clarity through the panic.
If he treats you like this⌠he could make it worse.
Jackâs breathing is uneven. His eyes keep trying to find you past Robbyâs shoulder.
But he canât.
âLet us do our job,â Robby says, quieter now. âWeâve got her.â
Jack doesnât move.
Doesnât agree but doesn't try to push past him again either.
A long, stretched-out second passes.
Then Jack steps back.
Just one step.
Like it costs him more than anything else today.
Robby watches him carefully, like he expects him to surge back towards him.
But Jack just⌠goes still.
The fight drains out of him all at once, as something snapped.
He turns away without another word.
The roof is silent when Robby and Whitaker find him.
Jack is at the edge, hands gripping the metal railing, shoulder tight. Not leaning over, just holding on. Like itâs the only thing keeping him in place.
The city stretches out in front og him.
He doesnât turn.
They both know he heard them.
Robby glances once at Whitaker, then back to Jack.
âSheâs stable,â he says.
No response.
Whitaker steps a little closer. âVitals are holding. Weâre sending her for CTâpossible concussion, maybe a small bleed, but nothing immediately life-threatening.â
Still nothing.
Robby moves a little closer, not too fast.
âSheâs going to be okay,â
That gets a reaction.
Barely.
Jack exhales slowly, the sound rough, like heâs been holding it in too long.
He doesnât turn around.
ââŚDid she wake up?â he asks.
âNo,â Whitaker answers. âNot yet.â
Jack nods once.
Silence returns, wind cutting across the roof.
Whitaker hesitates for a second, thenâ
âShe had your tags on.â
That lands differently.
Something in Jack breaks, just a little.
A quiet, breathless laugh slips out of him, completely out of place against everything else.
âYeah,â he says, voice rough.
He shakes his head once, like he canât believe it even now. âShe hates rings.â
A tear slips down before he can stop it.
He doesnât wipe it away.
He just stands there, staring out at the city, holding onto the railing like itâs the only solid thing left.
Back in your room, everything is calmer now.
Monitors still beep steadily, machines still running, but the urgency is gone, replaced with something calmer. Controlled
Jack hesitates in the doorway before stepping in.
He takes you in slowly this time, like heâs afraid moving too fast will break the moment.
A sudden movement pulls his focus.
âHey,â he says softly. âIâm here.â
Your brows pull together slightly, a small reaction to the sounds of his voice.
Then your eyes flutter.
They open slowly.
Heavy.
Disoriented.
A small sound escapes you when the lights make contact with your eyes.
âEasy, babe,â he murmurs. âDonât try to move too fast.â
You blink a few times, trying to focus.
Everything hurts. Itâs too bright, too loud. Your head is throbbing.
â...Jack?â Your voice is rough, barely there.
âYeah,â Jack says quietly, catching it. âHeadâs gonna hurt. You took a bucket to the head.â
Your eyes finally land on him, and you just stare as if your brain is trying to catch up.
âIâm here,â he says again.
Relief flashes across your face. Small. Real. Your shoulder loosens, and seeing him suddenly makes everything feel less chaotic.
âYou look mad,â you murmur weakly. That gets a faint breath out of him, almost a laugh.
âYeah,â he says softly. âI was.â
His hand finds yours carefully, grounding you.
âBut youâre okay,â he adds. âThatâs what matters.â
Your eyes drift shut for half a moment, exhaustion pulling at you.
âMm,â you hum faintly. âFeels like I lost a battle.â
Jack huffs under his breath. âYou did,â he says. âBadly.â
A faint smile tugs at your mouth, even through the ache.
âRude,â you whisper.
Then your fingers shift against the sheet.
âHey,â you say softly.
âYeah?â
Your eyes flick to his chest.
ââŚNot on me,â you murmur.
Jack looks down at you. âWhat?â
âThe tags,â you say, voice still rough but more alert now. âTheyâre not on my neck,â
You expect them to be there; they have been for years.
Jack exhales through his nose, almost amused.
He reaches into his pocket.
Carefully, he pulls out the chain.
His dog tags.
Worn. Familiar. Still his.
He places them gently into your hand.
âThatâs how they identified you, Mrs. Abbot,â he says quietly.
That makes your expression shift, softening, something warm and tried underneath it.
Then your eyes drop the break.
The link halfway down snapped from the impact.
âOh,â you murmur. âItâs broken,âÂ
 âYeah,â he answers. âWeâll fix it.â
You study him for a second, still holding onto the chain lightly as if it grounds you.
âThankfully,â you murmur, âthe government likes labelling properly.â
That gets a quiet breath out of him.
âYeah?â he asks.
You nod faintly.
âVery official,â you add. âImportant documentation.â
Jack shakes his head slightly, a faint smile tugging at his mouth.
âAnd what,â he says, voice lower now, teasing, âare you properly of?â
You donât even hesitate.
âYou.â
The teasing fades out of his expression for a second, something quieter replacing it.
ââŚYeah?â he asks softly.
Your grip on the tags tightens just slightly.
âYeah,â you murmur. âBeen that way for a while.â
He holds your hand a little tighter.
âGood,â he says quietly.
Then, softer:
âKeep it that way.â
Your eyes start to drift again, exhaustion pulling at you.
âWasnât planning on changing it,â you whisper.
summary: youâve always been a little clumsy, but this time it lands you in the hospital with no memory of what happened after the crash. your neighbour, jack, remembers everything though, especially what you confessed to him. (7.2k+)
pairing: jack abbot x fem!reader
content: hurt/comfort, neighbours to lovers, slow burn payoff, tension, very very light angst, protective!jack, accidental confession, mutual pining. cw: head injury, concussion, brief loss of consciousness, blood mention, medical inaccuracies, not proof read soz.
âCould you come and fix it?â you say into the phone, voice pitched just a little too casual considering the state of your living room.
Youâre standing there, kind of uselessly, staring at the bookshelf you just finished building â or, well, thought you had. It had held together for a solid three seconds after the last screw went in before the entire thing gave up on life and collapsed in on itself like it had personal beef with you.
Pieces of wood are still scattered across the floor. One of the shelves is leaning against the wall at an angle that feels almost judgmental.
Thereâs a pause on the other end of the line. You hear fabric shift, the low rustle of sheets, and then a quiet exhale.
âYeah⌠yeah, Iâll come.â
His voice sounded rough through the phone, sleep heavy, a little gravelled, and guilt immediately creeps up your spine.
Shit. You definitely woke him.
You hesitate, chewing lightly at the inside of your cheek as you glance around the mess again. This wasnât even the first time. Ever since youâd moved into the house next to his, it had somehow⌠become a thing. If you had a loose cabinet door, flickering light, a lock that wouldnât turn properly, you would call him.Â
And every single time, he showed up.
âIâm really sorry,â you wince, pacing a small circle around the mess like thatâs somehow going to fix it, âitâs justâ I actually tried doing it myself this time, and it looked like it went well. Until it didnât.â
You let out a small, embarrassed laugh, your hand coming up to scratch at your eyebrow, a nervous habit youâve never managed to shake.
Another pause. Softer this time.
âHey,â he says, a little clearer now, like heâs forcing himself properly awake, âitâs fine. Seriously.â
Youâre not convinced.
If he was napping in the middle of the afternoon, then he was off shift, which meant this was probably one of the only quiet hours he got to himself all week. With the kind of hours he worked at the hospital, long shifts that seemed to blur into each other and never really end when they were supposed to, sleep wasnât something he got nearly enough of.
The last thing you wanted was to be the reason he didnât get it.
âI didnât mean to wake you,â you mumble, quieter now, eyes flicking back to the mess like it might suddenly resolve itself out of pity. âI canâ I can figure it out, if you want. You donât have to come.â
Thereâs a brief pause. âToo late.â
You blink.
âWhat?â
âIâm already up,â he says, there's something dry in his voice, something faintly amused, like heâs already decided that heâs going to come over and fix it whether you like it or not. âAnd Iâd rather fix it once than come over later when itâs somehow worse.â
âThatâs very optimistic of you,â you mutter.
âExperience,â he shoots back easily.
Despite yourself, your lips twitch.
âDonât worry about it,â he adds, softer now, and you can practically hear him dragging a hand down his face, grabbing for a shirt or whateverâs closest. âYouâre not the first person to lose a fight to flat-pack furniture.â
âThat makes me feel worse, actually.â
âIt shouldnât,â he says, a beat passing before his tone shifts, something lighter threading through it. âWhat can I say? I guess Iâve got a way with my hands.â
You go completely still.
Thereâs a brief, dangerous pause where your brain tries to decide whether that was a joke, a joke, or something youâre definitely overthinking.
Because thereâs no way he just said that.
Right?
Your eyes flick to nothing in particular, grip tightening slightly around your phone as the words replay in your head, slower this time, like thatâs somehow going to help.
Iâve got a way with my hands.
Heat creeps up the back of your neck, and youâre suddenly very aware of the fact that youâre standing alone in your living room reacting like this over a sentence that may or may not have been completely innocent.
He probably didnât mean it like that.
He definitely didnât mean it like that.
âŚHe absolutely meant it like that.
You press your lips together, inhaling through your nose like thatâs going to reset your brain. It doesnât.
âRightâŚâ You clear your throat, dragging your attention back to the mess in front of you like it might ground you. It doesnât.Â
âYeah. Weâllâ weâll see about that, Abbot. Just ring the bell when you get here.â
âMm. Try not to make it worse before I arrive.â
âOh, shut upââ
You hang up before he can say anything else, your mouth still slightly parted. You stand there for a good five seconds, just blinking at nothing. Then you look back at the broken bookshelf.
God help you.
A good ten minutes go by, and you still donât listen to him.
Because of course you donât.
Youâre crouched in front of the bookshelf again, one knee pressed into the floor, the screwdriver clutched a little too tight in your hand as you try, for the third time now, to get the top shelf to sit properly. Your head is half inside the frame, eyes narrowed as you angle the screw just right, tongue pressing lightly against your cheek in concentration.
âOkay justâ stay,â you mutter under your breath, like the thing might actually cooperate if you asked nicely.
It doesnât.
The doorbell rings.
And in the exact same second, the shelf gives way.
It comes straight down, catching the top of your head with a dull thud that makes your whole body jolt forward, the screwdriver slipping from your fingers as a sharp sting spreads instantly.
âOw, shit,â you groan, squeezing your eyes shut as your hand flies up to your head, pressing against the spot like thatâs somehow going to undo it.
For a second you just stay there, hunched over, breathing through it, before letting out a quiet, annoyed exhale. âPerfect,â you mumble to yourself, pushing yourself up slowly, still a little dazed. âThatâs just perfect.â
The bell rings again, longer this time.
âYeah, Iâm coming,â you call out, your voice slightly strained as you make your way to the door, your hand still resting on top of your head, your face caught somewhere between a grimace and irritation.
You open it, and there he is.
You take him in for a second without meaning to. The faint grey stubble along his jaw, his hair still slightly out of place like he didnât bother fixing it before leaving, the simple black shirt and pants thrown on in a rush. Thereâs a look on his face already, caught between amusement and expectation, like he knew exactly what he was walking into before you even opened the door.
His eyes move over you quickly, taking in the hand on your head, your hair out of place, the look on your face, and you can see the moment it clicks to him.
You drop your hand a little too late to make it subtle.
A small smile threatens at his lips as he adjusts the toolbox in his hand, stepping forward when you shift to the side to let him in. You hold your breath for half a second as he passes you, the space between you just close enough to make you aware of it, before you shut the door behind him.
âDo I need to guess what happened,â he says, glancing down at you as he steps further inside, his voice still a little rough but clearer now.
You scoff softly, already turning to follow him. âDonât start. I was trying to take matters into my own hands again, and apparently this shelf is harder to build than it looks.â
He hums like heâs not convinced, already walking into your living room, and heâs done it enough times to know exactly where heâs going. His eyes land on the mess almost immediately, taking in the scattered pieces, the half-built frame, the screw youâd dropped on the floor.
âRight,â he says after a second, one brow lifting slightly. âYou tried.â
âI did try,â you shoot back instantly, crossing your arms, even though thereâs still a faint sting at the top of your head reminding you how that went.
His gaze flicks back to you, slower this time, settling on your face, then your hair, then the spot your hand had been covering.
âWhat did you do.â
âNothing,â you answer quickly, a little too quickly.
âThat didnât sound like nothing.â
âItâs fine,â you insist, waving it off like itâs nothing even as you avoid looking at him properly. âIt just hit my head a little, itâs not a big deal.â
He doesnât say anything straight away, and thatâs almost worse.
âLet me see.â
âItâs fine, Jackââ
âLet me see,â he repeats, already stepping closer, his tone not harsh but not really leaving you much room to argue either. Itâs something about the way he says it, like heâs already decided and thatâs that, and then thereâs the way heâs looking at you â his eyes settling on your face, focused so intently that it makes your chest feel a little too warm all of a sudden, like youâre suddenly very aware of how close he is.
You hesitate for a second before letting your hand fall away, tilting your head slightly despite yourself. âItâs not even that bad,â you mumble, though it comes out weaker than you meant it to.
He doesnât respond, just lifts his hand and brushes your hair aside, fingers careful as he checks the spot. Thereâs a brief pause while he looks at it properly, his expression shifting as the earlier amusement fades.
âYeah,â he mutters, more to himself. âThatâs gonna be a bump.â
You let out a small, unimpressed breath. âGreat. Love that for me.â
His hand drops away, but instead of saying anything else, he turns and heads toward your kitchen. You watch him go for a second, still standing where he left you, a little thrown off by how quickly he just takes over your space (not that you're complaining about it).
You hear the fridge door open, the low hum getting louder for a second, then the scrape of the freezer compartment, things shifting around as he moves stuff aside.
âOf course youâve got nothing useful in here,â he mutters.
âThere should be peas or something.â
âThere are,â he says after a second. âMiraculously.â
You roll your eyes, even though he canât see you.
A moment later, heâs back, a bag of frozen peas in his hand as he stops in front of you. He doesnât hand it to you.
Instead, he steps in closer, lifting it straight to your head before you can react.
You flinch slightly at the cold. âOhââ
âHold it,â he says, already reaching for your hand and bringing it up, pressing your fingers around the bag so you keep it in place. His touch lingers for half a second before he lets go.
âOkay.â
He doesnât say anything else, just turns and walks back over to where he dropped his toolbox, crouching down and flipping it open like heâs done this a hundred times before (he has.)
You donât move.
For a second, you just stand there, hand pressed to your head, watching him. Or more specifically â Youâre watching the way his back shifts under the black shirt as he bends slightly over the frame, the fabric pulling just enough across his shoulders, his arms moving as he starts sorting through the pieces, he makes it look so easy.
You blink, forcing your eyes away for a second, adjusting the peas against your head like thatâs what you were focused on the whole time.
It doesnât really work because you look back.
Heâs still crouched there, focused on the shelf, completely unaware, and youâre suddenly very aware of how long youâve just been standing there doing absolutely nothing.
You clear your throat, shifting your weight as you take a small step forward, still holding the peas to your head as you glance between him and the mess. âDo youâ need help, or something, or are you just gonna do the whole thing yourself?â
He doesnât even look up, already moving pieces back into place like he knows exactly what heâs doing, fingers working easily as he adjusts the frame. âNo, youâre alright,â he says, like itâs obvious, like you asking was almost unnecessary.
And then, after a second, like itâs nothing, âJust sit and look pretty.â
You just stand there, your brain going completely fuzzy for a second as it registers what he just said, your grip tightening slightly around the bag of peas while your mouth opens a little before you can stop it.
Youâre suddenly very aware of the fact that he canât see your face right now, because if he could, youâre pretty sure heâd notice it instantly.
So you donât say anything.
You just stand there, holding the peas to your head, trying to act like that didnât just completely throw you off, even though it absolutely did.
He keeps going like nothing happened, adjusting the frame, tightening something into place before leaning back slightly to look at it, checking his own work.
You shift slightly, lifting the peas just a little off your head, your fingers moving to press lightly against the spot instead, testing it to see if it still hurts. The second you do, his head turns slightly over his shoulder.
âDonât touch it,â he adds after a second, almost as an afterthought, still focused on the shelf. âJust leave it for a minute.â
You freeze for half a second before putting the peas back where they were, pressing them properly against your head doing exactly as he said.
âOkay,â you say, softer this time, a lot more normal than whatever you wouldâve said earlier.
He keeps going like nothing happened, adjusting the frame, tightening something into place before leaning back slightly to look at it, like heâs checking his own work.
You watch him for a second longer than you should, adjusting the peas again just so you have something to do.
âThank you,â you add after a moment. He pauses briefly at that, just for a second, before continuing like it didnât affect him at all.
âYeah of course,â he says easily.
It was an awkward predicament you found yourself in, one that seemed to happen so quickly you couldnât even properly process how you got there in the first place. One second you were standing on the sidewalk after getting out of the sports bar you had gone to with a few friends you hadnât seen in a while, still half caught up in the lingering conversation, your eyes scanning the street for a taxi that could take you home.
And then the next second, without even looking properly, you didnât realise a bike was coming straight toward you along the sidewalk.
There was barely any time to react before the impact happened, the force of it knocking straight into you and sending both you and the rider crashing down onto the concrete. Your body hit the ground hard, but it was your head that took most of it, smacking sharply against the pavement that made everything jolt at once.
A loud groan leaves you instantly, the pain spreading so suddenly and so intensely that you donât even think before running your tongue over your teeth in your mouth, checking them one by one to make sure they were still intact, still where they were supposed to be. The sensation was so overwhelming, that it made it hard for you to focus on anything else.Â
You donât even register that people have started gathering around you, their voices overlapping, questions being thrown at you all at once as they hover nearby.
âShitâ Iâm so, so sorry,â the man says quickly, the one who had collided with you.
You blink up at him through the blur, trying to focus your eyes enough to actually see him properly. He looks young, around your age, crouched close by, clearly shaken, his hands hovering like he doesnât know whether to help you up or not. He looks completely fine in comparison, his helmet still strapped on, knee and elbow pads in place, protected in a way you clearly werenât.
You try to sit yourself up from the ground, pushing against the concrete with your hands, but the second you do, a sharp sting spreads across your palms and arms. You hadnât even noticed how badly youâd scraped yourself up until now. It barely registers though, not properly, not compared to the pounding in your head that only seems to get worse the more you try to move.
Your vision doesnât clear either. It stays unfocused, everything still slightly out of place, and no matter how much you blink, it doesnât quite fix itself.
Youâd always been a little clumsy, always the type to trip over nothing or drop things at the worst possible time, but this was different. This wasnât something you could laugh off later or brush away like it didnât matter. It was worse.
âIâm okay, I think,â you mumble, the words coming out slower than you intended, your voice lacking any real certainty behind it.
The people around you donât seem convinced.
Thereâs a shift in the air around you, a sudden stillness that you canât fully understand, not when your head is still pounding and your vision refuses to cooperate.
âWhat?â you ask, more confused now, your brows pulling together as you try to make sense of their reactions.
You lift your hand to your head without thinking, fingers brushing against your temple as if to check it, and thatâs when you feel it.
Something wet.
Sticky.
More than there should be.
Your hand comes back down into your line of sight, your eyes struggling to focus on it properly through the blur, and it takes longer than it should for your brain to catch up with what youâre seeing.
Blood.
A noticeable amount of it, smeared across your fingers and it doesnât feel so minor anymore.
âWell, shit,â you mumble under your breath, the words barely leaving your mouth before everything around you starts to feel off again.
The noise of the crowd dulls, their voices becoming distant, like theyâre being pulled further and further away from you. The ground beneath you feels unsteady, your vision darkening at the edges as the pounding in your head overtakes everything else.
Somewhere through the haze, you can hear the urgency in their voices shift. âCall an ambulance, quickââ But it all feels far away.
And then, just like that, everything goe s completely black as you fall back against the concrete.
Jack canât quite take you off his mind.
Ever since you moved into the house next to his a couple months back, ever since that first day when you were tripping over the stairs trying to help the movers carry boxes into your place like you werenât about to take yourself out before even settling in, heâd clocked you as someone he wouldnât forget easily.
And it shouldâve stopped there, it really shouldâve, because itâs not like he doesnât have other things to focus on, not like his job doesnât take up most of his time anyway, but it didnât, it just stuck. He never realised how often he was thinking about you until he caught himself doing it multiple times a day.
Robby wouldâve absolutely lost it if he knew. Like actually laugh in his face, not even try to hide it.
Which is exactly why Jack never said anything.
Because it sounds ridiculous.
It feels ridiculous.
At least it did, up until the moment he sees you being wheeled into the E.R.
And for a second it doesnât even register properly, because itâs just another stretcher, another patient coming in too fast, paramedics talking over each other, the usual noise that never really stops around here, until his eyes land on you and everythingâs stopped in Jackâs world.
Your headâs turned to the side, thereâs blood at your temple, too much of it, dried and fresh mixed together, your hair stuck where it shouldnât be, and youâre not moving, not even a little, and thatâs what gets him the most because youâre never still.
Robbyâs saying something, holding something out to him, but Jack doesnât take it, doesnât even look, because his focus is completely gone, locked on you in a way that makes everything else feel like background noise.
âYou alright, brother?â Robby asks, and thereâs something in his voice this time, not just casual, not just checking in, because heâs clocked it straight away, the way Jackâs just stopped responding, like heâs not even there for a second.
Jack doesnât answer him.
Heâs already moving before anything else can catch up, already at your side, falling into step with the stretcher as they push you through, his eyes running over you quickly, trying to take in as much as he can at once, trying to piece it together in real time without letting it slow him down, even with that tight feeling sitting heavy in his chest.
âWhat happened?â he asks, already reaching for gloves, his voice coming out like it normally would, like this is routine, like itâs just another patient even when it very clearly isnât.
âBike collision,â one of the paramedics says, not missing a step. âShe hit her head pretty hard on the pavement, was talking when we got there but not making much sense, kept drifting in and out, then stopped responding on the way here.â
Jack nods once, already there as they move you across, his hand coming up without thinking, steadying your head like itâs instinct, like muscle memory has kicked in before anything else could.
Which it has.
Heâs done this a thousand times before.
Just not with you.
âAlright, get her on the monitor, letâs check her properly, and I want a scan ready,â he says, more to the room now, more to himself, slipping into it because thatâs what he does, thatâs what he knows, even if everything in him feels slightly off.
Robbyâs there beside him again, quick like always, but thereâs a look he gives Jack, brief but there, like heâs noticed more than heâs saying.
Jack doesnât acknowledge it.
He doesnât have the space for that right now.
Because his attention is already back on you, and this time it lingers a second longer than it should, taking you in properly, the way you look like this, the way you look too still for his liking.
He preferred you up and clumsy. Not like this.
As youâre laid down, somewhere between conscious and not, everything comes in pieces, sound first, then light, then shapes that donât quite make sense straight away. You turn your head slightly, slower than you mean to, your mouth parting a little as your eyes try to focus, landing on him.
Jack.
Heâs right there, by your side, talking to someone just out of your view, his voice low and quick, but you canât really make out what heâs saying, it all kind of blends together in a way that makes your head feel heavier.
âFancy seeing you here, doc,â you mumble, the words coming out a little off but still there, like youâre trying to make it sound normal even though nothing about this feels normal.
They move you properly onto the bed, and your brows pinch together almost immediately, a quiet wince slipping through as someone shines a light into your eye, then the other, the brightness too sharp for how your head already feels.
Jackâs attention shifts straight back to you the second you speak, his focus settling on your face properly now.
âShouldnât I be the one saying that, hm?â he replies, but it doesnât sound like him, not really.
Thereâs no humour in it this time.
And you notice that.
Despite everything, you still smile at him, all teeth, like none of this is as serious as it probably should be, even with people moving around you, checking things, definitely listening even if theyâre pretending not to.
âYou know,â you start, your words coming out a little uneven but still very much you, âI think because of whatever theyâve pumped into me⌠I should probably confess my undying crush on you, Mr Abbot.â
You let out a small laugh to yourself, like the thought genuinely amuses you, your head shifting slightly against the pillow before immediately regretting it.
âI feel like this is a very good time for that,â you add, softer now, like youâve convinced yourself it makes perfect sense. âYou know⌠just in case I die or something.â
Jack just looks at you for a second, properly this time, like heâs trying to decide whether to humour you or shut it down completely.
ââŚYouâre not dying,â he says, and it comes out more firm than anything else, like heâs not even entertaining that part of what you said.
You squint at him slightly. âYou donât know that.â
âI do,â he answers straight away.
You hum softly, like youâre weighing that up, even though youâre not really.
âOkay⌠but if I did,â you continue, still looking at him, âthat wouldâve been a really good confession. Like you wouldâve thought about it for the rest of your life.â
Thereâs the smallest shift in his expression at that, something that almost looks like he wants to smile but doesnât quite let himself.
âYeah,â he says after a second, quieter now, âIâll make sure to keep that in mind.â
You nod slightly, like thatâs settled.
âGood.â
He exhales through his nose, then glances over his shoulder toward one of the residents, his focus snapping back into place.
âKeep checking her pupils,â he says, his tone shifting without effort. âSheâs been in and out, so keep talking to her, make sure sheâs tracking, and get her ready for a CT. I donât want to miss anything.â
Thereâs a quick nod, movement picking up again around you.
When you wake up, it takes you a second to properly come to, your head feeling heavy as confusion settles in before anything else does. You blink a few times, trying to clear the haze from your eyes as you stare up at the ceiling, not fully registering where you are at first.
The room is quiet.
Not completely silent, but quiet enough that it feels strange, especially compared to the E.R. you only faintly remember being brought through, the noise and movement and voices that never seemed to stop. Itâs different here, and it throws you off more than it should, like youâre expecting something else to happen even though nothing would.
You know what led you here. You remember the bike, the impact, the way everything happened too quickly for you to even react properly before you both went down onto the concrete. But after that itâs blank. Completely fuzzy. Like your brain just cut everything off. You donât remember getting here. You donât remember being brought in, or what anyone said to you, or how long youâve even been here. Just bits and pieces that donât quite connect, like you were in and out of it the whole time and your mind never fully caught up, which was what exactly happened.Â
The hospital bed beneath you feels stiff, uncomfortably so, and it only makes everything worse as you shift slightly, trying to sit up more properly. Itâs not helping. If anything, it just makes you more aware of how off your body feels, like nothing is sitting right.
You move again, slower this time, trying to find some kind of position that doesnât make you feel like youâre about to tip sideways or sink straight back into the mattress. The bed doesnât cooperate, obviously.
âThey really need to invest in better beds,â you mutter under your breath, more to yourself than anything, your voice still a little thick as it comes out. âPeople are gonna leave here with more problems than they came in with.â
You adjust again, one hand pressing lightly against the mattress to steady yourself as you sit up just a little more, even though it doesnât actually make it any more comfortable. It just makes you more aware of everything â your head, your body, the fact that youâre here and not entirely sure how you got to this exact point.
And that part bothers you more than anything.
You donât even realise when someone enters the room, only properly registering it when you hear the door shut. It makes you turn your head, slower than you mean to, and thatâs when you see him.
Jackâs standing by the door, not fully inside yet, like he stopped himself halfway through walking in and couldnât move himself further into the room. You donât really understand why, but you donât point it out.
What you do notice is the relief that crosses his face the second his eyes land on you. Itâs quick, but itâs there, clear as anything, easing some of the tension that had been sitting in his expression. Like seeing you awake, sitting up, actually aware, settles something in him that had been building since you were brought in.
âFancy seeing you here, doc,â you say repeating what you said hours ago (even though you didnât remember saying it), a small smile pulling at your lips as you try to ease the tension that had filled the room the second you saw him.
He doesnât answer straight away, and it gives you a second longer than you should have to actually look at him properly. His arms are crossed over his chest, his shirt pulling across his shoulders and biceps just enough that you have to stop yourself from staring any longer than you already are.
You drag your eyes back up, a little too late, and the second you meet his gaze again you can feel the heat surge through your body, because heâs already looking at you, not even pretending he wasnât. His expression is still controlled, still holding onto composure, but thereâs concern sitting there underneath it, clear in the way his hazel eyes stay on you.
âShouldnât I be the one saying that,â he says finally, his voice even, but not as light as it usually is with you, âI work here. Youâre the one turning up as a patient.â
You donât really know how to take that, and thatâs what throws you off more than anything, because normally with him itâs easy, you know where you stand in the conversation, you know when heâs joking and when heâs not, but right now you canât tell which one this is supposed to be.
You shift slightly against the bed, like youâre about to say something back, something quick or sarcastic just to ease it, but nothing actually comes out, and instead you just end up looking at him, the silence stretching a little longer than it should between you.
âYou gave me quite the scare,â he adds after a second, and thereâs no humour in it now, none of that usual back-and-forth youâre used to, just something honest that makes your expression shift without you meaning it to.
âI didnât know you cared.â You say vulnerably.
âOf course I care,â he says, and now thereâs something more familiar in his tone, something that actually sounds like him again, even if the concern hasnât fully left his face. âWho else is going to call me every time something in your house decides to fall apart, hm.â
Your lips twitch at that despite yourself, a small breath leaving you as some of that tension in your chest eases, even if it doesnât fully go away. âSo thatâs the only reason you care?â you ask, tilting your head slightly, your voice lighter than it probably should be for what youâre actually asking.
Even as the words leave your mouth, thereâs a part of you that pauses, because you donât really know where that came from. A week ago you could barely hold a normal conversation with him without overthinking every little thing he said, without second guessing the way you stood or where you looked whenever he was over fixing something in your house, and now youâre sitting here in a hospital bed questioning him like this without even hesitating.
It throws you off more than anything.
Maybe itâs the medication theyâd given you earlier, still sitting somewhere in your system, loosening whatever filter you usually had, making it easier to say things youâd normally keep to yourself. Thatâs the only explanation you can come up with, because thereâs no way youâd be this forward otherwise, especially not with him.
He watches you for a second after that, like heâs caught onto the shift just as much as you have, his gaze settling on you in a way that makes your chest feel warmer than it should.
âThatâs not what I said,â he replies, his tone quieter now, but thereâs something in it that makes it clear heâs not brushing you off, not really.
You watch as he finally moves fully into the room, like heâs done holding himself back, his hand reaching down to pull a chair from the wall beside the door before dragging it over and sitting right next to your bed. Itâs close, closer than he needs to be, but neither of you say anything about it.
And now heâs right here, close enough that you donât really have anywhere else to look.
His attention doesnât leave you once.
It makes you want to look away, break it somehow, but you canât bring yourself to. You just lay there, holding his gaze, even as it makes something in your chest tighten in a way you donât want to think about too much.
âDo you remember anything?â he asks.
You let out a small breath, glancing down for a second like that might help you find something you missed. âI can remember the crash,â you say slowly, trying to piece it together as you speak, âlike I remember the bike and hitting the ground and everything, but after that it just cuts off.â
You shift slightly against the bed, your brows pulling together. âWhich Iâm actually kind of thankful for, because if my head still feels like this now, I donât even want to know how bad it was when I got brought in.â
He watches you the whole time, his gaze fixed on your face like heâs taking in every little detail, every shift in your expression, and it does something to him he doesnât really want to sit with.
Because he remembers it.
He remembers it clearly, not in bits the way you do. He remembers the way you looked, the way you kept drifting in and out, the way you said it like it didnât even cost you anything to say.
And he remembers exactly what you said.
âYou donât remember anything after that?â he asks again, and this time itâs not just a question, thereâs something behind it, like heâs checking before he says anything else.
You shake your head, a little more sure this time even though itâs frustrating, like you should be able to remember and you just canât. âNo. Nothing. Itâs just blank.â
You look at him properly then, and itâs the way he reacts that makes you pause. Not what he says, but what he doesnât. He just nods once, like he expected that, but thereâs a look on his face that says otherwise, one that you couldnât name properly.
It doesnât sit right with you.
âWhy,â you ask, narrowing your eyes at him slightly, âdid I do something?â
He huffs out a breath through his nose, like he almost laughs but doesnât fully commit to it. âYou always do something.â
âThatâs not helpful,â you mutter, shifting a little on the bed as you look at him again, more serious now. âWhat did I say?â
He doesnât answer straight away, which makes your stomach drop. Because if it was simply nothing, he wouldâve said something, but it was as if he was holding himself back from doing so. It surely couldnât be that bad, whatever you may have said.
âJack,â you pressed, panic in your voice, âwhat did I say.â
He looks at you then.
âYou told me youâre in love with me,â he says, like itâs a normal thing to say, like it didnât just completely shift everything between you in the span of a second, âin front of half the room.â
For a second, you just look at him.
Properly look at him, like maybe if you stare long enough the words will rearrange themselves into something else, something less insane, something that actually makes sense coming out of your own mouth. Your brain lags behind, struggling to catch up, like itâs still stuck somewhere before the crash while everything else has moved forward without it.
âI what?â
âYou heard me.â
Your lips part slightly, but nothing comes out straight away, because itâs hitting you in pieces now, slow and heavy, each part worse than the last as it actually starts to settle.
âOh my God,â you say, sounding utterly horrified.
âOh my God,â you say again, louder now, your hand lifting instinctively before dropping again when your head protests the movement, the dull ache making everything feel that much more real. âNo, I didnâtâ I wouldnâtââ
You stop yourself.
Because you would.
âI am so sorry,â you rush out, the words picking up pace before you can even think about slowing them down, like if you donât get them out now heâs going to look at you differently. âI didnât mean to say it like that, or out loud, or in front of peopleâ especially not your coworkers, like that is actually the worst possible place that couldâve happened, I literally could not have picked a worse moment for that if I triedââ
You drag a hand down your face, pressing your palm against your cheek for a second, your thoughts already running ahead of you before you can even catch them.
âI donât even remember saying it, which somehow makes it worse, because now Iâm hearing it from you and I donât even get to know how it came out or what I said before it or after it, and that just makes me look even more insaneââ
You glance at him quickly before looking away again, your voice getting faster the longer you keep going. âDid I say anything else? Actually donât tell me, I donât think I can deal with that right now, like genuinely I think Iâd rather not know if it gets worse than thatââ
A breath leaves you, somewhere between a laugh and something closer to a groan, your head tipping back slightly against the bed.
âThis is so bad,â you continue, the words tumbling over each other now, your brain refusing to slow down. âLike Iâve completely ruined it, havenât I? Iâve made it weird now, and youâre not even gonna come over anymore, and every time something breaks in my house Iâm just gonna have to deal with it myself because I decided to confess my feelings in front of an entire hospital like thatâs a normal thing to doââ
You barely paused to breathe, your thoughts running ahead of you faster than you can catch them, too caught up in defending yourself, in trying to explain it away, to even realise what youâve just done again.
Because youâve said it again.
Just as easily.
Right in front of him.
And you donât even notice it but Jack does.
He doesnât interrupt you though, doesnât point it out, doesnât say anything at all. He just sits there, watching you, one brow lifting slightly, amusement settling into his expression the longer you keep going, like he canât quite believe youâre doing this without even realising it.
âAnd now youâre just sitting there,â you add, your voice still rushing out, âlike I havenât just made everything ten times worse, and I donât even blame you if you donât want to come near me after this because I wouldnât either, Iâd actually avoid me at all costsââ
You stop just enough to breathe, your chest rising a little quicker, your eyes finally landing back on him properly. Thereâs a small shift in his expression, the corner of his mouth pulling slightly, his brows lifting just a bit like heâs watching something you havenât caught onto yet.
It doesnât make sense to you, the way heâs acting like this, like you didnât just make everything awkward between you, like you didnât just ruin whatever this was supposed to be.
âWhy are you looking at me like that?â you ask, your voice softer now, more confused than anything.
What you didnât expect was for him to suddenly lean forward, closing the short distance between you, and before you can even fully process what heâs doing, his hand comes up to your face, fingers settling along your jaw as he kisses you.
It shuts you up instantly.
Completely.
One second you were still mid-rant, the next youâre just there, kissing him, your brain trying and failing to catch up with whatâs happening. Your breath catches slightly against him, your eyes fluttering shut as you lean into it without even thinking, your hand coming up to grip lightly at the fabric of his shirt like you need something to ground you.
His hand stays where it is, steady against your face, his thumb brushing just slightly against your skin as he deepens it, slow enough to make you feel it properly, like heâs been waiting to do this and finally decided to stop holding back.
And you respond just as easily to the kiss, like all that overthinking you usually do just isnât there right now.
He tastes like coffee and mint, the faint scent of antiseptic still clinging to him from the hospital mixed with his cologne, and it settles into you in a way that makes your chest tighten, your fingers curling a little tighter into his shirt as you lean into him just a bit more.
You donât even realise how long it lasts.
Itâs only when he finally pulls back, slow and unhurried, that your head starts catching up, your breath still uneven as your eyes open and find his straight away.
You can feel it then, the heat you feel, the way everything feels just slightly off in the best way, and youâre pretty sure it shows, because thereâs no way you look normal right now. A small smile pulls at your lips before you can stop it, and you try to turn your head, instinct kicking in like you suddenly remember how to be self-conscious again.
He doesnât let you.
His hand stays where it is, steady against your face, and he dips his head just enough to keep your attention on him, his expression shifting into something that looks a little too pleased with himself, like he got exactly the reaction he wanted.
âNext time,â he says, his voice lower now, something warm sitting underneath it, âtry saying it when you actually remember it.â
(Jack Abbot & Michael "Robby" Robinavitch, Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch)
Warnings/Tags: Self-Harm/Suicidal Thoughts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, POV Jack Abbot (The Pitt), Not Beta Read, Post-PittFest (The Pitt), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt, oops made jack depressed, no beta we die like jacks wife
Summary:
âI,â He licked his lips, he didnât want to tell him, to ruin everything he had put together to finally be free, but a pat of him knew he couldnât lie to him, couldnât leave him wondering what happened if he was finally able to go. âIâm tired.â
â â â â â â â
Walking into his house was the same as always but this time it felt quieter and darker, sure it was always empty when he came home but it felt different this time. His condo was spacious and well taken care of but it didnât feel like home, he felt more at home going to Robbyâs house on the weekend when they had a day in to watch movies and talk.
Instead he stood in his livingroom as the darkness surrounded him and made the space feel cold and foreign. Setting his duffle down he started making his way to the kitchen, the couch dipping with the weigh of the bag, lights flickered on as he hit the switch and opened his fridge.
For someone as active and conscious of his physique his fridge was barren with the exception of a few apples and a jug of milk.
His mind was elsewhere, more specifically his situation, he had just taken a week off from PTMC with little warning. It had been a few weeks since he had run out of his meds, for ptsd and major depressive disorder, his therapist had been emailing him to schedule another appointment but he couldnât make himself care.
Leg aching and exhaustion weighing him down he decided against food, not that he had any to pick from.
The military had taught him many things but it had also made him scared of things others werenât, he was calm in stressful environments but he couldnât be around himself alone anymore.
He was his own worst enemy, Robby cared for him but he couldnât make him deal with all his issues all the time or make him babysit him just because he hated being alone in his house with his own mind. His phone was in his hand in a second, sitting on his bed staring at the black screen and contemplating.
Everything was in order, but he had two days left to just wait through before he could go through with it. It didnât make any sense to anyone but him why he did things a certain way, maybe it was all the problems he has had to work through, but he had two days to do goodbyes before his letters would send via email to all the important people in his life.
Not that he had that many, it was only a handful but he had to be gone by the time the messages delivered. He had to be.
He was so tired, of being disabled, a widower, attending physician, and alone now. There was something between him and Robby but he wasnât going to drag him down with him even if he lo- cared about him.
Two days to the end of it all, until he can rest.
In the mean time he had to get things together, but he just couldnât will himself to move yet, to finish everything.
His phone was heavy in his hand after such a long time of just holding it, he wanted to just sleep and never wake up but he knew today was one of those days where he wouldnât be able to sleep alone.
Robby lit up on the screen in front of him, almost like he had felt he needed to talk somehow. Letting himself take a deep breath he swiped right on the screen letting the call connect and hitting speaker.
âHey Jack, how do you feel about pizza tonight?â Robbyâs voice carried over the receiver to him, not a hint of question about whether he can come over or not, he was always welcome.
And he needed him tonight whether Robby knew it or not, he was spiraling on his own.
âUhm, yeah that sounds fine.â Voice scratchy from tiredness and emotions. âWhere?â
âYours, I have maintenance over fixing my shower.â
Maybe it was better he come over instead of the other way, he would have swerved of a bridge or walked into traffic with his mental state, he had to wait only 48 hours before he could do it.
âIâll be there in thirty, gotta pick up some stuff on the way, see you,â
âSee you brother.â
He could always count on him for everything and he hated how often he needed help, whether he said it or not, he needed to get it together before he got there. There wasnât anything to clean, just changing and showering but that felt just as hard as a full twelve hour shift at the hospital.
It was strange how much he lost track of time when he was alone, he blinked and focused his eyes to find himself leaning against the wall of his shower, water running scorching over his skin as he stared at the white tile.
Old habits die hard he thought, he caught glimpse of his razor in the corner and felt his chest tighten a fraction. The built in seat of his shower was useful for a lot of things, such as not falling on his ass if he tried to stand on one leg the whole time but it was also one of the easiest ways he found himself disassociating, the shower spray and plain white of the walls letting him spiral as he sat there.
The last time he had cut himself he had a little kid to a head injury from a car accident, an intracranial hemorrhage putting too much pressure on his brain and causing a stroke, he would have found it if he had just ordered a CT quicker, if he hadnât been distracted by the kids parents refusing treatments he could have saved him, could have ignored their noâs and gotten the scan anyways to help him.
But here he was about to do it again, and why this time? Because he was so tired, so out of it he could have been being screamed at and not noticed, not a good enough reason but not reason enough not to do it.
It was rarely this bad, a relic of the times before he got his therapist and job, before he had reasons to keep himself together. But now it didnât matter did it?
The razor was in his hands a second later and held right below his elbow crease, skin hot and soft from the water. He was now glad of how old fashion he was sometimes, the single blade straight razor a perfect tool for this purpose.
Pressing ever so lightly into his skin the blade cleanly cut, flesh parting as he had seen millions of times at he hospital and as a soldier. He pressed slowly harder until it just barely reached his limit, the pain radiating through his skull as he concentrated on the bright metal.
Blood pooled in the gash as he pulled the blade and finished the line, careful and slow even in his dazed state, the cut wide open with the pearls of fat under his skin barely visible at the very deepest of the cut. Repeating the action calmed him, letting the habit take him out of his head and back into his body.
He was about to place the blade on his skin for the tenth time but got stopped by the sound of footsteps, his heart rate jumped, Robby couldnât be here so soon it had only been a few minutes, he thought it had been.
Looking down he could feel the pulsing ache of the wounds on his arm, blood pouring now from him and down his lap into the drain, the dark red swirling and dripping over his whole tub as he heard a knock on the door. His head jerked up in fear as he saw the know turn, he never set the lock and why would he? He thought he would be alone.
Breath was coming fast now, Robby couldnât see this he couldnât make him deal with this.
âStop! Donât come in!â Frantic to staunch the bleeding as he pressed his hand onto the cut, the clear glass door of the shower not blocking anything as the door swung open.
âWhat are you-â There was a scared silence, but only for a minute. âOh my god, Jack!â
Robby was next to him in an instant, ignoring his hoodie getting wet as he turned the water off and grabbed him, eyes scanning him and looking for the damage and cause of the blood. Eyes stopped at his arm, he could see fear in the other as he clamped his own hand down over Jackâs own.
âI-Iâm sorry, shit im sorry.â Robby looked so scared as he spoke, anger flashing across his eyes as he saw the razor still in his other hand.
The blade was on the other side of the room as soon as Robby got his hand from around the handle, careful not to let him get cut again as he pried it away.
âShh, okay okay itâll be fine, just- just hold pressure.â
He barely registered the fact he was naked, they had seen each other shower before but this sort of indirect look at his mental state made him feel so exposed. Being pulled out of the tub was the worst part, standing to feel the room tip around him for a minute, the walls warping as his vision blurred and darkened a bit. He hadnât eaten almost all day, and he had no idea what kind of damage he had done.
Almost as if he was reading his mind Robby spoke up after he wrapped a towel around the other and grabbed another to press against his cuts.
âWhen was the last time you actually ate?â The silence was enough for him as Robby took a deep breath, âIâm sorry, I should have noticed, I should have been here.â
âNo, no no itâs not your fault, I should have been more careful.â He was barely whispering, somehow he knew he wouldnât keep it together if he spoke up.
The tension in Robby was not going away, he looked on the brink of either yelling or crying, he knew he deserved the latter, he shouldnât have let Robby come over and maybe it would have been fine, he wouldnât have found him like this. It was always his fault and he felt it in the moment, curling in on himself a little more even with Robbyâs hands wrapped around his forearm, looking down and away from the man he lov- it didnât matter anyway.
Before he could escape any further into himself and arm wrapped around him and a shoulder met with his forehead as Robby held him, Robbyâs breathing was jagged like he was crying, his beard tickling the side of his neck as they sat there. He didnât know when he started sobbing but he knew just how hard it had become to breath, the hug holding him still as pressure stayed on his still bleeding cuts, tears dripping down his face and onto the otherâs hoodie.
âGod Iâm so sorry- Iâm so sorry Michael.â He never used his full name unless it was serious.
âI know, I care so much about you, you know that, I would drop everything to come help if you would let me.â Pulling back Robby cupped his face in his hand and made him look him in the eyes, âPlease please tell me if you ever feel like this again, I never want to be too late.â
âIâm sorry,â Jackâs face was wet with tears as Robbyâs hand held him, he knew it wasnât over. âI didnât mean to, I havenât done it in a long time I just couldnât- I canât do this anymore.â
Robbyâs face dropped more than it already had, eyebrows knitted together and moving his hand off his face and onto his shoulder.
âWhat do you mean? Hey, hey donât say that man.â
âI canât keep doing this, itâs so empty, I only feel worse.â He moved to pull away from him, almost getting his arm out from Robbyâs grip, the blood soaked towel scraping his cuts.
âOkay stop, stop I canât keep- I need to bandage you, please. We are going to talk about this but please let me help you, I need to make sure you donât need stitches.â
The fear in his eyes made him feel sick, he was bringing everyone down with him, he was just hurting the people he cared about. But he couldnât run, he couldnât leave the situation, he didnât have his prosthetic, the one thing that kept him looking normal, able to live like everyone else and escape his troubles. He was trapped by misfortune.
So he let it happen, he let Robby take his arm and remove the towel, the cuts still sluggishly bleeding but not life threatening and hearing him take a deep breath as he brought out his emergency supplies out from under the sink, refusing to make ee contact with him as he cleaned the wounds.
Skin parted in clean rows covered with gauze and wrapped to stop it from getting infected while keeping some weight on it. He swears Robbyâs hands were shaking for a second as he was putting antibiotics on him, his fingers grazing softly over the broken skin.
âOkay, Iâm done, do you want help changing?â
He felt his skin prickle in embarrassment hearing it, he wasnât completely helpless, but he understood why he was being asked. He had just lost a lot of blood and was like always one legged so it would be helpful to have help but it just frustrated him to need to rely on the other again for something so simple.
Nodding he let Robby help him up and grab clothes, Robby never leaving the room only turing around as he changed, definitely not trusting him enough to leave him alone for the moment.
âDone.â He sat there on his bed in a sweater and shorts, he felt physically exhausted now and wanted nothing more than to sleep.
âOkay, move over.â Robby sat down next to him, the silence stretched for a moment as he figured out what to say. âWhat did you mean, when you said you were done, that you were too tired?â
Ah, he should have figured he would ask after the incident, he said a lot in the moment but wished he hadnât.
âI,â He licked his lips, he didnât want to tell him, to ruin everything he had put together to finally be free, but a pat of him knew he couldnât lie to him, couldnât leave him wondering what happened if he was finally able to go. âIâm tired.â
âTired of the losses and the repetitiveness of it all, tired of screwing up or having nothing. I just canât do it anymore, Iâm too old to be like this, broken and hurting myself just cause I couldnât fucking concentrate or think.â
His hands made their way into his hair pulling as he talked, âAfter the mass casualties, the people we see die everyday and having nothing t come home to and nothing t keep me going. I have no one, and I canât make other people responsible for dealing with me. I just need- I need to rest, I want to be done with it all.â
Robby pulled his hands away, careful to not tug on his wrist as he did, the gentleness a stark contrast to his words he spit out, the bigger man just holding onto him with a type of care and soft touch he hadnât had in years.
âI canât let you do that, you know that Jack, I canât just let you-â He chocked a bit at the words in this throat as he looked the graying man in the eyes. âI canât lose you, I care about you, hell everyone we know loves you, just look at Whitaker, I need you here man.â
Robby was blinking away tears, he had never seen the other show so much to him any other time than the roof of the hospital where they had shared different times pulling each other back off the edge.
âYou know I care right? You are the best person I know, I canât do this without you.â
âYou can, Robby you have so many others to choose from, Iâm a lost cause so please, please just let me go, you just have to go, enjoy your week and before you know it Iâll be gone and itâll all be the same.â He was almost pleading him, hands at Robbyâs shoulders, gripping the muscled man as he tried to convince him.
âNo, I wonât just leave you, I would never forgive myself if I did, I would follow you wherever you wanted to go but I canât let you do this to yourself.â
Jack crushed his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears as he choked on air, letting himself be pulled into Robbyâs arms once again, no matter what he told himself he would never be able to convince himself he thought the other didnât care about him, he had been there through so much and he loved him.
It was a strange thought, he had never let himself feel it or think it but he knew it, as he sobbed into Robby he knew it, he didnât want to leave him when he never got to tell him that. He could feel his head getting lighter as he exhausted himself crying, letting himself get held as he passed out in the otherâs arms.
Jack was laid down in his bed, pulling the blankets up over his shoulders Robby let himself cry silently, he should have noticed he knew Jack like the back of his hand and knew there was something going on but he didnât think he would be like this. He had almost left him, almost hurt himself to the point of no return without even asking for help, without even talking to him at all.
He would be better, more observant and present, he had to be it was the only way to convince Jack he had to stay. Settling down in the bed next to the other he laid facing Jack, he couldnât leave him, he would watch over him for as long as it took for him to get better.
Letting sleep claim him was harder than he thought, picturing the image of Jack bleeding out alone clenched at his heart.
__
A phone dinged in the silence of their sleep, a message popping up on Robbyâs phone: (New) Email from Jack Abbot.
summary: even after swapping from nights to days, you just canât seem to escape the inconveniently attractive night shift attending. then a ptmc night out, a sparkly dress, and a not-so-innocent game of never have i ever leads to dr. jack abbot making sure you can never utter the words ânever have i ever finished during sexâ ever again.
notes: i really hope you guys enjoiy this! it was so much fun to write and i just feel like jack is a little easier to put into silly situations than robby, so here i am torturing the poor man! i'm sorry in advance if the smut is kind of mid, i was fighting tumblr's block limit rule with this fic so i feel like i didn't get indulge as much as i would have liked, but still! i hope you guys love it, and please, please let me know what you think! (p.s. i think i mentioned the title was originally 'unaffected' but i like this one better)
warnings: swearing, alcohol, blushing, italics, jealousy, implied age gap, jack is a yearner, reader wears a "revealing" dress (but description is very vague and there's zero detail about body-type), mildly uncomfortable male encounters, friend!santos, pittlings chaos, garsantos mention, jack gets a little possessive, reader has long enough hair to sweep off her neck, and SMUT (making out, fingering, "panties", a tiny bit of dirty talk, unprotected piv, "good girl", and jack says sweetheart a lot) 18+ only please, mdni.
word count: 18889
Jack Abbot had never thought of himself as a jealous man.
Possessive, maybe. Protective, definitely. But jealous? Never.
He had never really had anything to be jealous of.
Until now.
Now there are far too many things.
Like the pen between your lipsâand the way you bite down just hard enough to leave a little dent in the plastic while you read through Danaâs notes.
Or Dana herself, and the way youâre looking at herâsoft, sleepy, warm in a way that twists something tight in Jackâs chest. The same way you used to look at him in the quiet hours at the end of a night shift.
Or your scrubsâGod, your scrubsâand the way they fit just a little too well tonight. Too tight in all the right places. Distracting in ways that are becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.
Jack has never needed to be jealous of anything before, but now he finds himself jealous of inanimate objects, coworkers you barely glance at, and your goddamn clothes.
So, yeah. Jack Abbot had never thought of himself as a jealous manâuntil you came along.
âDr. Abbot,â Dana calls, peering over the top of her glasses. âYouâre early.â
Beside her, you glance up from your tablet, meeting his eyes across the ER with that same soft smile.
âDr. Abbot,â you say, like you canât quite help yourself.
Jack squares his shoulders and starts toward the nursesâ station, determined not to let Dana and her all-knowing, all-seeing bullshit clock exactly why heâs at work almost two hours earlier than he needs to be.
âYeah, Iâve got some stuff I didnât get to wrap up this morning,â he lies.
Princess pops up from behind the desk. âI thought you said you stayed back this morning to make sure everything was sorted?â
Jackâs gaze cuts to her. âYes. But I forgot something.â
Dana narrows her eyes. âMhm. Whatâd you forget?â
âA few notes from the three a.m. GSW,â he replies quicklyâtoo quickly.
Itâs weak and he knows it, but thereâs nothing else he could think of with Dana watching him like that and your warm, sleepy gaze still lingering from across the desk.
Dana nods slowly, adjusting the chart in her hands. âRight. Two hours early for a few notes.â
Jack just shrugs, avoiding her gaze as he walks pastâand he doesnât look back until heâs safely around the corner, standing in front of his locker. Only then does he risk a glance, just briefly over his shoulder, quick enough to catch a glimpse of you disappearing down the North hall.
God. Itâs ridiculous, really. Heâs a grown man.
More than thatâhe's an old man.
Yet here he is staying late at work and coming in early just to see more of you. Because ever since you swapped from nights to days, Jack doesnât quite know what to do with himself. Sure, he could barely concentrate when you were on shift together, but who knew not having you around would be even worse?
He spends the first half of his shift hating himself for being so hung up on someone so young and so impossibly out of reachâthen spends the second half anxiously awaiting your arrival for the day shift.
And itâs only been two weeks.
But the absolute worst part?
He doesnât even know why you swapped shifts. You never even spoke to him about it. You just told him at four a.m. two Saturdays ago that you were switching to day shift. No reason. No explanation. That was it.
At first he wondered if it was his faultâif maybe youâd simply decided you didnât like working with him.
But you still greet him every morning and every evening with that same warm smile. You still look to him first whenever someone asks for an attending and heâs still around. You still text him whenever the ER cat shows up outside the ambulance bayâwhich apparently happens much more often during the day shift.
And Jack still buys a packet of freeze-dried liver treats every Sunday to keep in the cupboard above the break room fridgeâbecause he knows how much you love feeding that cat.
âWhatâre you doing here?â
Jackâs head whips around at the sound of his friendâs voice.
âIâuhâcame in early to fix up a few notes,â he says, turning back to shove his bag into his locker.
Robbyâs brows lift. âTwo hours for notes?â
Jack sighs, slinging his stethoscope around his neck and shutting his locker before turning to face his fellow attending. âAre you of all people really going to lecture me about not having a life outside of this ER?â
Robby chuckles quietly, lifting both hands out of his pockets in surrender. âI wasnât judging.â
âGood,â Jack mutters, already starting back toward central. âAnything I need to know?â
Robby falls into step beside him. âNorth Threeâs waiting on a CT for possible appendicitis. Kid in Five came in with chest pain but his labs look clean so far. Danaâs still fighting with bed control about moving the pneumonia admit upstairs.â
They both stop at the nursesâ station, glancing up at the board.
âOtherwise itâs been unusually calm,â Robby adds. âWhich probably means youâre about to get slammed.â
Jack gives him a flat look. âThanks.â
âAnytime.â Robby claps him on the shoulder. âOhâand that R2 you gave me?â
âWhat about her?â
Robby shrugs. âSheâs great.â
âI know,â Jack says, keeping his voice carefully even.
Robby studies him for a second, eyes narrowing just a fraction, the corner of his mouth threatening to lift. The man might be a disaster when it comes to his own feelings, but he has an uncanny talent for spotting everyone elseâs.
âWeâre alright out here if you want to catch up on your notes,â he says after a moment, already turning away. âOr go make the rounds. Get some very thorough handovers from the residents.â
Jack keeps his eyes fixed on the board. âI hate you.â
Robby huffs out a quiet laugh. âThen why are you here two hours early?â
Jack exhales sharply and steps forward, pulling one of the tablets from the rack.
âNotes,â he says, a little louder than necessary.
Robby just shakes his head, still smiling faintly as he disappears down the North corridor.
For a moment, Jack doesnât move. He lingers at the nursesâ station, tablet in hand, pretending to analyse the board while ignoring the incredibly unsubtle looks from Perlah and Princessâboth of them watching him with the kind of interest that usually means someoneâs about to become the subject of a very entertaining conversation.
Then, with a polite nod to each of them, he clears his throat and steps away, turning toward the break roomâtrying very hard not to hope he runs into you on the way.
And trying not to be disappointed when he doesnât.
The break room is empty when he steps inside, the noise of the ER dulling as the door falls shut behind him. He sets his tablet on the tableânext to someoneâs half-eaten lunch and a discarded Lean Cuisine containerâand grabs a clean mug from the cupboard, pouring the last of the coffee pot into it.
Then he drops into the seat furthest from the door, his back to the bulletin board, and taps the tablet awake, pulling up the notes for the three a.m. GSW. The same notes he already finished in detail while staying back this morningâbefore Robby told him to get the hell out of his ER and get some sleep.
He barely makes it through two lines of the chart before the door swings open again.
âShit, sorry,â you say quickly, stepping toward the table.
Jackâs pulse does the same stupid thing it always does whenever he sees you, making his chest feel hot and his head a little fuzzy.
âWhat are you sorry for?â he asks, as if it isnât obvious.
Youâve already stacked the Lean Cuisine container on top of the half-eaten bowl of something grey and mushy-looking and are halfway to the sink with them.
âI only got, like, a five-minute break today and had to run out for a trauma, then completely forgot about my lunch,â you explain, cheeks flushed as you glance down at the bowl. âThis is gross. Iâm so sorry.â
Jack shifts in his chair. âIâve seen worse in here, I promise.â
You glance over your shoulder as you turn on the tap, the corner of your mouth lifting just slightly. âReally?â
He nods. âReally.â
He could almost swear your smile lifts a little higher before you turn back to the sink, scrubbing hurriedly at the bowl of slop that probably shouldnât be going down the drain anyway.
Jack clears his throat. âButâuhâLean Cuisine? Really?â
You look back at him again, brows drawn. âWhatâs wrong with Lean Cuisine?â
âNothing,â he says lightly. âIf youâre trying to survive a very stressful twelve-hour shift on only four hundred calories.â
You huff a quiet laugh, turning back to the sink. âI actually managed to eat lunch today. Thatâs already a win.â
âItâs mostly sodium and sadness,â he adds, almost absently. âNot much protein.â
You finally turn the tap off and spin around, leaning a hip against the counter. âAlright, Dr. Abbot. When I find the spare time to start meal prepping between my very stressful twelve-hour shifts, Iâll let you know.â
Jack opens his mouthâthen closes it again. Because what he wants to say is ridiculous.
But it comes out anyway.
ââŚI cook.â
You blink.
âYou cook?â
Jack clears his throat, suddenly very interested in his coffee mug.
âYeah. Well.â He shrugs. âIâve been told Iâm reasonably good at it.â
You stare at him for a second, brows knitting slightly as you clearly try to figure out where the hell that came from.
âWell,â you say with a quick smile, âI guess your dinner guests are pretty lucky.â
Before he can respond, you grab the Lean Cuisine packet, toss it in the bin, and step toward the door.
âSorry again for the mess.â
Then youâre goneâleaving Jack alone with his coffee, his notes, and the growing suspicion that there might actually be something seriously wrong with him.
-
âIs that Dr. Abbot in the break room?â Santos asks, falling into step beside you.
You keep your eyes fixed on your tablet.
âYep.â
She leans closer, steering you out of the way of a gurney.
âBut night shift doesnât start for like two more hours.â
âIâm aware.â
âSo, why is he here?â
You exhale sharply and finally look up from your tablet. âI donât know, Trin. Maybe because the universe hates me.â
She snorts. âOr maybe because he likes you.â
You roll your eyes, turning toward the South corridor. âPlease donât start.â
âIâm not starting anything,â she insists. âI seriously think that old man has a thing for you.â
âDonât call him that,â you mutter.
âOkay, fine. I seriously think that hot, older man has a thing for you,â she says, stopping beside you at the South desks. âAnd we all know how you feel about him, soââ
âNo,â you snap. âWe donât all know how I feel about JaâDr. Abbot.â
She presses her lips together to keep from laughing.
âBesides,â you go on, dropping into a chair. âI swapped to day shift so I could stop being distracted by my attending and actually focus on being a good doctorâso could you please stop distracting me?â
She leans a hip against the desk, completely ignoring you. âAnd donât you think thatâs a little strange? I mean, you swapped to day shiftâwhat, two weeks ago?â
You glance at her from the corner of your eye. âAnd?â
âAnd,â she says dramatically, âfor the past two weeks Dr. Abbot has been staying back every morning and coming in early every afternoon.â
Your gaze slides back to the computer. âSo?â
She sighs, exasperated. âItâs not a coincidence.â
âActually, I think it is,â you argue.
She stares at you for a second, eyes narrowing. âYouâre impossible.â
âAnd youâre annoying.â
She rolls her eyes and pushes off the desk. âWhatever. Youâre still coming out tomorrow night, right?â
Your fingers hesitate over the keyboard. âUhâIâm not sure yet.â
âDr. Ellis is the only person from night shift thatâll be there,â she says.
You let out a quiet sigh of defeat.
âFine,â you mutter. âIâll come.â
âGood.â She grins, already turning away. âCome to my place around six. We can get ready and pregame.â
âWhy canât I get ready at home?â you ask.
âBecause,â she calls over her shoulder, âI get to pick what you wear.â
And before you can argue, she slips into a patient room, effectively ending the conversation.
âGreat,â you mumble, turning back to the computer. âCanât wait.â
Itâs not like youâre not looking forward to finally joining in on a night out now that youâre no longer on the night shift.
You are. Youâre just... nervous.
Nervous, perpetually stressed out, and still adjusting to life as a day-walker. And Santos knows that. She probably knows you better than anyone else at PTMCâeven though youâve spent the better part of ten months working opposite shifts.
Which is exactly why sheâs pushing you to join this night out. Because she knows you need it. She knows you need to relax, forget about work, and do something other than obsess over the night shift attending whoâs had you completely undone since the day you first met.
God.
Jack Abbot. The single most dangerous man in Pittsburgh.
Not only is he stupidly hot, but heâs also annoyingly competent, irritatingly attentive, and has the starring role in every single one of your most inappropriate fantasies.
Heâs also the very reason youâre terrified of having to redo your second year of residency, because that man affects your focus so much you literally canât function. Like three weeks ago, when you walked straight into the glass door of Trauma One because you were too busy watching him take his jacket off.
His damn jacket.
That was the moment you finally decided you needed to swap shiftsâbecause Dr. Shen couldnât look at you for the rest of the night without bursting into laughter.
Jack Abbot is a liability to your health and wellbeingâwhich means he is a liability to your career. And even though asking Dr. Robby to swap to day shift was one of the most ridiculously difficult things youâve done since starting at PTMC, you stand by the fact that it was the right decision.
The smart decision. The professional decision. Even if⌠it might not be working yet.
Because now you canât just glance across central anymore and see Jack leaning against the desk, talking through a case with Lena. You canât have him step up beside you when youâre unsure about something and quietly walk you through it. Heâs not the one across from you in the trauma bays. And there isnât a coffee cup that magically appears in front of you during the three oâclock lull.
Now you just⌠think about him instead.
But itâs only temporary. Youâre sure of it. You just need to get used to the day shift and figure out how to get Jack Abbot out of your head.
Which⌠you have a sneaking suspicion is what Santos plans on helping you with this weekend.
Youâre pretty sure you overheard her the other day telling Whitaker that the only way to get over someone is by getting under someone else. And maybe thatâs exactly what you need to doâget under someone else so you can stop thinking about the maddeningly hot man whoâs nearly twice your age and most definitely does not have a thing for you. Regardless of what Santos seems to think.
You spend the rest of your shift catching up on charting and trying very hard not to think about Dr. Abbot.
When someone asks for an attending, you call Dr. Robby. When you hear his voice just around the corner, you change paths as quickly and inconspicuously as you can. And when your notes are up to date and night shift starts rolling in, you find Dr. Ellis and give herâand only herâthe rundown on your patients.
By the time you shut your locker and sling your bag over your shoulder, the sky outside is dark and there are only a few day shifters left lingering around the nursesâ station.
âDid you drive today?â Whitaker asks, shutting his locker only a moment after you.
âYeah,â you reply. âNeed a ride?â
He nods sheepishly. âThatâd be great. Santos left already, said I was taking too long.â
You roll your eyes. âYeah, I bet it had nothing to do with whatever she and Garcia were whispering about in the stairwell.â
Whitaker winces. âI just hope theyâre at Garciaâs tonight.â
You huff a small laugh and hitch your bag higher. âYou ready?â
He nods.
You both turn and start back toward centralâbut just as you reach the nursesâ station, his steps slow.
âDo you need toâŚ?â
He jerks a thumb over his shoulder.
You frown. âNeed to what?â
He hesitates. âDonât you normally say goodbye to Dr. Abbot?â
Your eyes widen slowly. âUhâno. Why would you say that?â
He shrugs. âI donât know. I just thought you two were close.â
âWeâre not close,â you say, a little too quick.
âSorry,â he mutters, raising both hands in surrender. âI justâI donât know. I thought because you were his resident you two were⌠close.â
âIâm not his resident,â you snap. âIâm just⌠a resident. I donât belong to him.â
âOkay,â he says slowly, brows drawing together. âIâm sorry, I just thoughtââ
âYou thought wrong,â you mutter, glancing over your shoulder to make sure no one is listening.
Thankfully, the two nosiest nurses in the ER have already gone home for the day.
âLetâs just go.â
You grab his wrist and walk quickly toward the ambulance bay doors, giving Ellis and Shen a small nod as you passâcompletely missing the middle-aged attending who just overheard most of your conversation.
The car ride to Santos and Whitakerâs isnât long. Whitaker fills most of it anywayârambling about the shift, about the kid in Five and whether night shift is going to get slammed, about how Dana looked like she was two seconds away from strangling bed control by the end of the day. And every few minutes he circles back around to apologising for making you drive him home.
You wave him off each time.
âItâs fine, Whitaker.â
âSeriously though,â he says as you pull up outside their building. âI really appreciate it.â
He slings his bag over his shoulder and climbs out of the car, pausing on the sidewalk to give you one last wave before heading toward the front door.
The moment the passenger door falls shut, the quiet settles in. You let out a long breath, tipping your head back against the headrest and letting your eyes fall shut for a moment. And immediatelyâinevitablyâyour brain drifts straight back to the same place it always does.
Jack Abbot. Of course.
You scrub a hand over your face before shifting the car back into gear and pulling away.
The rest of the night passes the way most nights doâwith a quick shower, something vaguely edible scavenged from the fridge, and half-heartedly scrolling through your phone until exhaustion finally drags you to bed.
When your head finally hits the pillow, you tell yourself youâre too tired to think about him. Itâs been a long dayâlong weekâand all you need right now is sleep, not fantasies.
But that doesnât stop your brain from doing it anyway. Because sometime in the early hours of the morning, Jack Abbot shows up in your dreams. Not in the ER. Not standing beside you at the nursesâ station or leaning over a chart.
Heâs in a kitchen. Cooking.
Sleeves rolled up to his elbows, moving around the stove with the same quiet confidence he carries through the hospitalâlike he knows exactly what heâs doing and expects the rest of the world just to trust him.
And in the dream, you do.
You lean against the counter and watch him the way you sometimes watch him in the trauma bays, telling yourself youâre just observing. Just curious. Just learning.
He glances over his shoulder eventually, catching you staringâand says something you canât quite hear over the soft clatter of the pan. But heâs smiling.
Then the dream shifts the way dreams tend toâlogic slipping sideways until suddenly youâre standing much closer than you should be. Close enough to smell whatever heâs cooking. Close enough that when he turns toward you the space between you disappears entirely.
His hand settles at your waist like it belongs there.
Your back meets the edge of the counter.
And when his mouth brushes your neckâ
You wake with a sharp inhale, staring up at the ceiling, heart racing.
âFuck,â you mutter, dragging a hand over your face.
So much for getting him out of your head.
For a while, you just lie there, staring at the ceiling, watching the first pale line of sunlight creep across until it touches the wall opposite your window.
At some point you realise youâre still replaying the dream in your head.
The kitchen. The way his hand had felt at your waist. The warmth of his mouth against your neck.
You groan quietly and drag the blanket over your face.
âGet a fucking grip.â
Then you throw the covers back and force yourself out of bed, heading straight into the kitchen in search of coffee.
Your small apartment is always quietâbut this morning it feels too quiet. Too still as you silently sip your coffee, one hip leaned against the kitchen counter. Which, unfortunately, leaves far too much room for your brain to wander right back to its favourite topic.
Jack Abbot.
After coffee, you take yourself for a long walk around the block, hoping the cool morning air might help clear the remnants of the dream from your head.
It doesnât.
But by the time you make it back to your apartment, your legs feel loose and your mind feels a little quieter, and for the briefest moment you almost manage to convince yourself that youâre excited about tonight. That youâre going to be able to do what Santos is clearly angling for and go home with an attractive stranger so you can stop draining your vibrator battery with inappropriate thoughts of your attending.
The rest of the day drifts past in a slow blur of small, forgettable things. Laundry. Answering a couple of messages in the group chat. Half-heartedly reviewing a few notes from earlier in the week before deciding you absolutely refuse to think about work on your day off.
Eventually the afternoon light begins to soften and stretch across the floor, which means itâs probably time to start getting ready if youâre actually going to make it to Santosâ place before she decides youâre bailing and comes knocking to drag you there herself.
So you shower, change, pack a bag, and throw it over your shoulder on the way out the doorâtrying very hard not to feel disappointed that Dr. Ellis is the only person from night shift whoâs going to be at the bar tonight.
It really is for the best.
You, alcohol, and Jack Abbot in the same room is a terrible idea.
âAlright, Iâm ready,â Santos announces, finally stepping out of the bathroom.
You, Javadi, and Whitakerâwho have spent the last twenty minutes on the couch chatting and sipping beerâlook up.
âAw, I wish I could do winged eyeliner like that,â Javadi says. âIt just doesnât suit my eye shape.â
âDonât look too close,â Santos mutters. âItâs super uneven, but I donât have time. I still have to fix this one before we go.â
She tips her chin toward where you and Whitaker are sitting on the opposite end of the lounge.
Whitakerâs eyes go wide. âMe?â
Santos scoffs. âNot you, Huckleberry. God, I donât have enough time in the world to fix whateverâs going on there.â
Whitaker frowns, glancing down at his navy-blue button-up shirt. âWhatâs wrong with this?â
Whitaker lifts his head, glancing between you and Javadi. âIs it really that bad?â
Javadi leans forward, lowering her voice. âThereâs nothing wrong with it, Whitaker. You look great.â
You pat his shoulder. âItâs fine, really. Sheâs justââ
The words die on your tongue as Santos reappears, holding what can only be described as a sparkly scrap of fabric on a hanger.
Javadi tilts her head. âWhatâs that?â
Santos grins. âA dress.â
Whitaker chokes on his beer. âThatâs⌠not a dress. Thatâs a glittery napkin.â
âOh my God.â Javadi snorts. âMy mom would kill me just for buying that.â
âI didnât buy it,â Santos says lightly. âA friend in college gave it to me, but itâs never fit quite right.â
She steps forward, extending the hanger toward you.
âBut I know youâll be able to pull it off,â she adds, her grin sharpening.
You stare at itâglinting in the low evening sun spilling through the windows.
âSantos⌠this is a work thing,â you mutter.
She rolls her eyes. âItâs not a work thing. Itâs just an outing with people from work.â
âIsnât that the same thing?â Whitaker asks.
Santos sighs. âNo, itâs not. And are you forgetting our main objective?â
You blink at her.
âTo get you laid.â
Javadi giggles nervously, trying to hide it behind a swig of beer.
âCome on,â Santos says. âJust put it on and if it doesnât work, we try something else.â
You hesitate, staring at the glittery thing like it might catch fire at any moment. Which, given enough sunlight, it probably could.
âFine,â you say at last, pushing off the couch. âIâll try it on, but that does not mean Iâm wearing it.â
Santosâ eyes sparkle with excitement. Or maybe itâs just the dress.
âThatâs my girl.â
You take the hanger from her and trudge into her room, nudging the door shut behind you. It takes a minute for you to figure out how the glittery napkin is supposed to go onâbut once you do, you shed your comfortable clothes and shimmy into the most sparkly piece of fabric youâve ever worn.
And somehow, the shimmering scrap of nothing turns out to be an actual dressâshort, sparkling, and just structured enough to stay where itâs supposed to while still feeling mildly illegal.
With a deep breath, you turn away from the mirror and open the door, stepping back out into the lounge room.
âSo?â
For a moment, no one says anything.
Whitakerâs mouth falls open.
Javadiâs eyebrows lift. âOh.â
Santos, meanwhile, tilts her head appreciatively, one hand on her hip, eyes gleaming as she looks you over from head to toe.
âI knew it,â she says smugly.
Whitaker blinks. âThat is not a dress.â
Javadi elbows him. âStop talking.â
You tug awkwardly at the hemâwhich doesnât actually move much because there isnât very much hem to tug.
âSantos,â you say carefully, âIâm not sureââ
âRelax,â she says. âYou look incredible.â
She circles you slowly, like a stylist inspecting her work.
âAnd youâre definitely going to get laid.â
âI feel like I shouldnât be here,â Whitaker mutters, his face bright red.
Santos rolls her eyes. âYouâre only here because you live here, Huckleberry. Now go grab that bottle of tequila from on top of the fridgeâweâre going to need some liquid courage before we head out.â
After two shots of tequila and Santosâ finishing touches to your makeup, you all head out the door. Whitaker calls an Uber, the four of you pile in, and you carefully keep Santosâ leather jacket wrapped around yourself for some semblance of modesty.
You donât really plan on taking it off for the rest of the nightâeven if it isnât that cold.
The ride to the bar isnât nearly long enough. Javadi spends most of it excitedly talking about how she can finally go out drinking now that sheâs twenty-one, which Santos encourages with the enthusiasm of someone who clearly intends to make the most of that milestone.
You mostly just stare out the window. Trying not to think about the dress you shouldnât have agreed to wear and the night shift attending you definitely shouldnât be missing right now. Because if someone asked you where youâd rather be tonightâthe bar or the ER with Dr. Abbotâyour honest answer would be incredibly depressing.
Who would rather be at work than out with their friends on a Saturday night?
âWeâre here,â Santos announces, nudging your side a little too hard.
You all thank the driver before climbing out, gathering yourselves on the sidewalk in front of the familiar establishment Santos loves dragging everyone to.
âRelax,â she says, dropping a hand on your shoulder. âYou donât need this.â
She tugs at the leather jacket, pulling it off your shoulders until itâs bunched at your elbows.
âI feel naked,â you mutter. âLike this is some nightmare where I show up to work in my underwear.â
Whitaker snorts. âNot far from it.â
Santos rolls her eyes. âWell, youâre not at work. Youâre at a bar. And this is supposed to be fun.â
Right. Fun.
That is the entire point of tonight. Go out. Have a drink. Meet someone who isnât Jack Abbot. Ideally forget Jack Abbot exists for at least a few hours.
Completely achievable.
Right?
âFine.â
You draw a deep breath and drop your arms, letting the jacket slide off completely. Santos grins as you sling it over one elbow, trying not to instinctively hold it in front of your body like armour.
âSee?â she says. âMuch better.â
âLetâs just go inside before I change my mind,â you mutter, already starting toward the door.
Javadi loops her arm through yours. âYou look amazing. Seriously.â
You give her a small smile, trying not to feel quite so awkward as Santos leads the way toward the main entrance.
Itâs just a bar. Just a normal Saturday night. Youâll be fine after a few more shots of liquid courage.
You glance through the front window as you approachâmore out of habit than anything else, your eyes drifting lazily over the crowded room inside.
People. Low lights. Patrons lingering around the bar.
Andâ
Your brain stalls.
Because thereâs a man leaning against the bar with one elbow braced on the countertop, his shoulders broad under a tight black shirt, head tipped slightly as he talks to someone beside him.
A familiar someone.
Dr. Ellis.
And the manâ
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Your stomach plummets.
Jack fucking Abbot.
Your feet stop moving, your whole body suddenly forgetting how to function.
Your pulse kicks violently against the inside of your throat as a wave of heat rushes up the back of your neck, sudden and dizzying and sharp enough to make the edges of your vision blur for half a second.
Because he looksâ
He looks so good.
Relaxed in a way youâve never seen at work. One hand curled loosely around a glass as he frowns slightly at something Ellis is saying, that small crease between his brows you know far too well.
And suddenly you are extremely, violently aware that you are standing outside a bar wearing approximately three square inches of glitter.
âSantos,â you say again, your voice almost breaking.
She glances over her shoulder. âHm?â
âYou knew.â
She stops, her hand hovering near the door.
Whitaker glances between the two of you. âWhatâs happening?â
âTechnically,â Santos says slowly, âI didnât know. I just... suspected.â
âYou said Ellis was the only one from night shift whoâd be here.â
She winces. âI did, but what I meant is⌠Ellis is the only one who actually told me sheâd be here.â
You stare at her. âSo you did know?â
âI knew it was his night off.â
âSantos, Iââ You glance back at him through the bar window. âI canât go in there like this.â
âLike what?â she asks. âSmoking hot?â
âHalf naked.â
She rolls her eyes. âYes, you can.â
âI will actually die.â
âNo, you wonât,â she says firmly. âYouâre an adult. You can wear whatever you want, talk to whoever you want, and just because your incredibly inconvenient attending crush happens to be inside does not suddenly revoke your civil liberties.â
She pulls the door open.
âNow stop panicking and get in the bar.â
-
âHe swore the chest pain had nothing to do with the seven energy drinks heâd had that night,â Ellis says, still rambling about a patient who pissed her off two nights ago, âwhich was a bold position to take with a heart rate of one-forty.â
Jack snorts softly. âAnd did you believe him?â
Ellisâ eyes go wide, and she takes a long drink before continuing her rant about night shift patients and the strange confidence people have when explaining why their terrible decisions definitely have nothing to do with the symptoms theyâre currently experiencing.
Jack nods along, offering the occasional comment or question where needed, meeting her gaze now and thenâbut mostly keeping his attention on the door. Waiting. Because heâs not stupid enough to ask anyone if youâre going to be here tonight, but he is naĂŻve enough to hope you will be.
He wasnât even supposed to be here tonightâhis first night off in two weeks.
He was supposed to be at home, cooking something decent for dinner, enjoying the rare luxury of not wearing scrubs, and inevitably indulging in his favourite guilty pleasureâinvolving nothing but his hand and some very inappropriate thoughts of you.
But heâs not.
Heâs here. In a crowded bar, sipping cheap scotch, listening to Ellis complain about the night shift patients and their weird confidence, just⌠waiting.
For you.
Heâd wanted to ask you yesterday if you were coming to the bar tonightâbefore he agreed to joinâbut heâd barely seen you before the end of your shift. And you didnât even say goodbye. Which isnât unusual, given how chaotic the ER can be, but then heâd overheard your conversation with Whitakerâand something about it made his chest feel too tight.
It wasnât anger. Not exactly. Not jealousy, either. It was just... wrong. Not because what you said was wrong, but because he hates that it was right. That you donât belong to him. Even if Robby calls you âhis R2â and Whitaker thinks youâre close because youâre his residentânone of it changes the fact that he has no real claim over you.
Which is ridiculous. He knows it.
He shouldnât feel territorial. He shouldnât want this. Want you. And yet, his chest still feels too tightâa slow, hot coil of frustration and longing curling up into his throat, and he hates it. Hates hearing it out loud, hates how much it matters, hates that he canât make it not matter.
âOh.â Ellis glances over her shoulder. âLooks like Santos and the others are here.â
Jackâs gaze flicks back to the door.
He tries not to react, not to straighten, not to square his shoulders as if heâs bracing for somethingâbut he can already feel his composure slipping.
Santos steps in first, her head turned slightly as she talks to Whitaker, who walks in behind her. Then itâs Javadi, an unusually wide smile on her face as she looks atâ
You.
Oh.
Oh fuck.
Jack stops breathing.
His chest burns. His stomach flips. His hand tightens dangerously around his scotch glass.
Itâs you. Of course itâs you. Youâre perfect.
But thenâ
That dress.
God.
That dressâshort, sparkling, clinging just enough to make every nerve in his body snap awake. It shimmers under the low lights as you move, and he hates himself for noticing every subtle curve, every shift of fabric, as if time itself has slowed just to torture him.
Itâs all too much.
He can feel his pulse in his throat, heat burning beneath his skin, blood rushing in the one direction it really, really shouldnât be right now. In public. In front of his coworkers.
He blinks, finally tearing his gaze away from you.
And thatâs when he notices the rest of the bar. All staring. All stunned.
He hates them all.
He hates that they can even look at you. Hates that the universe allows it. Hates that they might see even a fraction of what he seesâand feel a fraction of what he feels.
And he hates, more than anything right now, that youâre not his.
âDr. Abbot,â Robby says, appearing beside him and slinging an arm across his shoulders. âWhatâs your poison tonight?â
Jack lifts his drink, knuckles still white around the glass. âScotch.â
Robby claps his shoulder, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly. âYou might not want to have too many of those.â
Then he slips past both Jack and Ellis and raises a hand to flag down the bartender.
âAlright,â Ellis says, pushing off the bar. âIâm going to go grab a seat before the table gets too crowded.â
Jack nods, but he doesnât follow. He stays beside the bar, rigid now, eyes fixed on the group of men at a high table just a few feet from the front door. Theyâre muttering to each other, leaning in, voices lowâbut nothing about it is subtle. Their gazes are glued to you as you weave through patrons and tables to greet the rest of the PTMC crew gathered in a booth near the back.
One of themâthe dumbest looking one, Jackâs already decidedâslowly slides off his stool, nodding along while his friends murmur their advice.
Jack glances back at you, now standing beside McKay, sliding your arms into the leather jacket youâd been carrying. Santos grabs your wrist, tilting her head toward the bar as she starts dragging you with her.
And, like a fourteen-year-old boy with a crush, Jackâs pulse starts racing.
âDr. Abbot,â Santos says, grinning as you both approach the bar. âFancy seeing you somewhere other than the ER on a Saturday night.â
âI do have a life outside of work, you know,â he says dryly, lifting his drink and looking anywhere but at you.
âLike playing bingo at the senior centre?â Santos asks, resting both forearms on the bar.
You step up on her other side, squinting at the shelves of liquor on the back wall like theyâre the most interesting thing in the room.
âBingoâs on Wednesdays,â he says mildly. âTry to keep up.â
Santos snorts, shaking her head as she reaches for the small leather-bound bar menu. But out of the corner of his eye, Jack sees your head dipâjust slightlyâand you try to hide a small laugh against your shoulder.
Jack feels it like a punch to the ribs.
Because youâre listening.
And apparently⌠you think heâs funny.
âAlright,â Santos says, lifting a hand. âI think we need some tequila over here.â
The bartender steps away from where heâd been serving farther down the bar, but his attention quickly drifts past Santos and lands on you. He leans in, resting one palm flat against the bar while he wipes down the counter with a rag that doesnât really need wiping.
âSo,â he says to you, not Santos. âWhat are you drinking tonight?â
Santos blinks.
âI just told you,â she says flatly. âTequila.â
The bartender barely glances at her.
Jackâs jaw tightens.
You look briefly confused, glancing between Santos and the bartender.
âUhâwhatever she orders is fine.â
âYeah. Tequila,â Santos repeats, slower this time.
The bartender laughs like sheâs jokingâand Jack sets his scotch down slowly. Carefully.
His eyes stay locked on the man now lining up four small glasses in front of you, still completely ignoring Santos. The way heâs watching you is too much. Too close. The faint curl at the corner of his mouth makes Jack want to punch the smirk right off his face.
And by the way you shift a little closer to Santosâpulling your jacket tighter around yourselfâhe knows youâre uncomfortable.
His hand clenches at his side.
Robby pauses as he walks past, a beer in each hand.
âEasy, tiger,â he mutters. âShe can handle herself.â
âI know,â Jack says, voice low. âDoesnât mean she has to.â
Robby gives him a lookâa brief, knowing glance, somewhere between amusement and warning. âCareful.â
Jack doesnât respond. He just turns back to you and Santos, watching as you each knock back two shots of tequila, your nose scrunching as the burn hits. And he canât help the small twitch at the corner of his mouth, because the face you make as you set the second glass down is ridiculously cute for someone wearing a dress like that.
âOkay,â Santos says. âI need a vodka soda before I start making bad decisions.â
The bartender nods, already reaching for another glassâand before he can even ask if youâd like another drink, someone else steals your attention.
âHey,â the guy says, stepping up beside you. âCan I get you another one?â
He leans in, just enough to be heard over the noiseâbut itâs still too close.
You shift slightly, angling toward him. âOh. Uhâsure.â
Santos presses her lips together, clearly fighting a smile as she turns back to the bar, suddenly very invested in whatever the bartender is doing. The second he sets the vodka soda in front of her, she scoops it up and drops a few bills on the counter.
She lifts the drink to her lips as she turns away, pausing just long enough to glance at Jack over the rim of the glass.
Her brows lift. âYou really gonna let that happen?â
Jack frowns. âWhatââ
But Santos is already gone, drink in hand, halfway back to the booth where everyone else is.
Where Jack should be headed tooâbecause thereâs no reason for him to stay here. No reason for him to linger, to hover, to make sure youâre okay, to stand there glaring at the guy buying you a drink like thatâs going to change anything.
Itâs not like he can blame him. If Jack thought he had a shot with you, heâd take it too. The difference is, Jack wouldnât need the dress. Or the drinks. Or the crowd. Heâd take that shot with you even when youâre tired and stressed out and covered in blood at the end of a bad shift in the ER. Heâd take it any time. Any place.
But Jack doesnât get that shot.
Because youâre young. You donât have baggage. And youâre a residentâmaybe not his resident, but still a resident.
Itâs just too inappropriate.
Jack sets his glass back on the bar a little harder than necessaryâand the bartender glances over, brows raised as if silently asking if heâd like another, but Jack just shakes his head.
His eyes flick back to you. To the way youâre smiling nowâsoft, not uneasy. To the way you seem to have forgotten about keeping your jacket closed, and now the idiot talking to you is looking anywhere but your face.
Then you laughâlight, easyâand something in Jackâs chest tightens again.
He looks away. He canât keep standing here. Heâs not going to stand here and watch you flirt with some idiot at the bar like he has any right to care.
With a deep breath, he forces himself to turn away and start walking back to the table.
Where he should have been five minutes ago. Where he plans on staying for the rest of the night.
Half an hour later, most of PTMCâs day shift staff are gathered in the booth, half still wearing their scrubs after coming straight from the hospital. The volume of conversation builds with the growing collection of empty glasses in the middle of the table, voices overlapping, getting louder with every roundâbut Jack doesnât order another scotch. At some point, Ellis sets a beer in front of him, which he nurses until itâs too warm to enjoy.
Every now and then, he makes a point of nodding or laughing or glancing at someone across the tableâpretending to follow the conversation, pretending heâs paying attentionâwhen really, all he can focus on is you. You and your smile. And your laugh. And the way your hand settles lightly on a manâs bicep when he says something that makes you blush.
Not the same man as before, either. Noâthis one is new. This one swooped in when the first one excused himself to take a phone call, and now that one is back at the table with his friends, sulking.
Kind of how Jack is right now, sitting at the table with his friends. Sulking. Glaring. Plotting.
He knows he shouldnât. He knows itâs none of his business. But he canât stop himself from trying to come up with an excuse to interrupt you. To get you away from those men and their lingering stares.
Not that heâs any better.
âAbbot.â Robby nudges his side. âHungry?â
Jack blinks, finally dragging his gaze away from you to where Ellis is standing, looking expectant.
âHm?â
âAre you hungry?â Ellis asks. âIâm going to order some wings.â
Jack frowns. âUhâno. Iâm good. Thanks.â
Ellis nods once and turns away, heading straight for the bar.
Robby huffs a quiet laugh beside him. âYou might want to turn your hearing aids up, old man.â
Jack doesnât even look at him. âFunny.â
âIâm serious,â Robby says mildly. âYouâve missed, what, three questions in the last five minutes?â
âI heard her,â Jack mutters. âI was just... thinking.â
Robby hums like he doesnât believe that for a second.
Jack shifts, pushing his chair back as he sets his warm beer on the table. âIâm gonna hit the head.â
Robbyâs brows lift, slow and knowing, his gaze flicking briefly toward the bar.
âMm,â he says. âSure you are.â
Jack does, in fact, turn toward the bathrooms firstâmostly because he needs a second away from all the music and chatter to try and clear his head. To try and stop himself from doing what he really left the booth to do.
He locks himself in the accessible bathroomânot that he needs it, but itâs more private than the menâsâand stands in front of the vanity. He presses his palms into the porcelain sink, shifting his weight forward with a deep, steadying breath.
This is ridiculous, and he knows it.
Heâs a grown man. He shouldnât be acting like this.
This is trivial shit, for Godâs sake. Jack is a vet. A seasoned ER doctor.
So why is a goddamn crush undoing him like this?
Why are you undoing him like this?
He lifts his head and stares at his reflectionâjaw tight, shoulders rigidâtrying to get a grip. Trying to remember that he is a grown ass man, not some idiot who canât keep his shit together.
His gaze drifts across his faceâthe day-old stubble, peppered hairâthen to the reflection of the bathroom behind him. The graffitied walls, covered in stickers and spray paint, a chaotic collection of late nights and inebriated thoughts. He wonders, briefly, how many people came in here intending to leave something behind.
Then he spots something scrawled in the corner of the mirror in thick black marker.
HESITATE AND SOMEONE ELSE WONâT.
Jack tilts his head.
Thatâs not exactly... subtle.
But thatâs the thing, isnât it?
He doesnât hesitate.
Not in the trauma bay. Not out in the field. Not when it matters. Not when someoneâs life is on the line and everyone else is waiting for someone to make the call.
So what the hell is this?
This⌠standing back. Watching. Letting it happen.
Like he doesnât know what he wants. Like he hasnât already made up his mind.
He drags a hand over his mouth, shaking his head onceâsharp, annoyed.
âJesus Christ.â
Itâs not caution. Itâs avoidance.
With another deep breath, Jack reaches for the tap and braces his hands beneath the stream. He scrubs them togetherâquick and thoroughâthen turns off the water, grabs a paper towel, and dries his hands with more focus than necessary. He tosses the towel in the bin on his way out the door, his gaze sharpening as he scans the barâfinding you immediately.
Youâre still standing where you were, maybe a few steps closer to the back of the room. Thereâs a new guy in front of you now, closing you in, crowding your space just enough to make Jackâs eyes narrow.
The manâs hand settles at your waist, a little lower than what could be considered innocent. And anyone else watching might think youâre okay with itâbut Jack knows you. He sees the small flicker of discomfort that crosses your face, the subtle drop of your shoulder as you try to angle yourself away without seeming rude.
Good thing Jack doesnât mind being rude.
Heâs already moving before heâs fully decided to. Just a few long strides and heâs thereâclose enough to cut through the space between you and the guy without touching either of you, his presence alone enough to interrupt whatever the hell this is supposed to be.
He looks at you. Just you.
âHey.â
Your head turns immediatelyâand the shift in your expression is instant. Relief.
âOhâhey,â you say, a little breathless.
And then you step into him. Not too close. Not in a way that draws attention or suggests anythingâbut enough to make Jackâs pulse jump. Enough for him to feel your warmth and the way it settles under his skin.
âHey, man,â the guy says, holding out a hand. âIâm Trent.â
Jack ignores him.
âYou alright?â he asks you.
You nod slowly. âI am now.â
Your fingers curl into the back of his shirt, just for a secondâlike you didnât even think about it. Like you just needed something solid to hold onto.
Jack goes still.
Trent clears his throat. âSorryâuhâwho are you?â
You glance at him with a tight smile. âThis is my attending.â
Jack likes being called your attending.
Trent frowns. âWhat?â
âRemember how I said I was a doctor?â
Trent just stares at you.
âWell, Dr. Abbot is my attending,â you go on anyway. âHeâs like my supervisor. Iâm his resident.â
His resident.
âRight,â Trent mutters, eyeing Jack. âCool. Soâyouâre a doctor?â
Jack doesnât even look at him. His eyes stay fixed on you.
âAre you hungry?â he asks. âEllis is ordering wingsâwe can grab a menu.â
âStarving,â you reply, the corner of your mouth lifting slightly as you look up at him.
âGreat.â His hand settles at your shoulder, firm but casual. âLetâs get back to the others.â
âWait,â Trent says. âAre youââ
âIt was nice meeting you,â you cut in, flashing him one last tight-lipped smile before Jack steers you away.
He keeps his arm around your shoulders until youâre halfway back to the booth of PTMC doctors and nurses. Only then does he pull back, clasping his hands behind his back like he needs the physical restraint.
âThanks for that,â you murmur. âHe just wouldnât take a hint.â
Jack nods. âI noticed.â
He doesnât look at you as he turns back toward the other end of the table, toward his seat beside Robbyâbecause if he did, he might not be able to leave your side. From the corner of his eye, he sees Santos reach for you, already asking what happened as she pulls you into the seat between her and McKay.
And for twenty blissful minutes, Jack feels okay. The most okay heâs felt all night.
Because youâre here, at the table, talking to Santos and McKayâand not some idiot who thinks he deserves a chance with the prettiest girl in the room. In the world, according to Jack.
But only for twenty minutesâbecause once you finish your drink, Santos drags you back to the bar.
Another shot. Another drink. Another guy.
Jack shifts in his chair, trying to listen to whatever it is Ellis and Mateo are arguing about, but he canât focusânot when your hand settles lightly on this new guyâs shoulder. And especially not when it slides down his bicep, flirty in a way that makes Jack want to get out of his chair.
He tells himself heâs not going to. That he shouldnât.
But the second the lights dim and the music gets louder, he pushes out of his seat.
He finds you at the edge of the dancefloor, catching your wrist before you can disappear into the crowd.
âHey,â he says, voice raised over the music.
Your head whips around, your brows lifting slightly in that soft, expectant wayâlike youâre waiting for him to say whatever it is thatâs so important he had to stop you right here.
Jack clears his throat. âHave you been drinking water?â
You frown. âUm. Not really.â
âYou should really drink some water,â he says, tipping his head toward the bar.
You hesitate, glancing back over your shoulder at the man waiting for you to follow him into the crowd.
Then you look back at Jack.
âUh, yeah. Okay. Water.â
He knows he shouldnât have done it. He knows it was stupid and petty and jealousy-drivenâbut he canât help the flicker of satisfaction when you follow him to the end of the bar with the self-serve water tower.
The music is too loud for conversationâand even if it wasnât, heâs not sure what heâd say. Not when youâre looking at him like this. A little drunk. A little curious. Your brows drawn, your skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, your lips wet from the water.
God. This has the be the finest form of torture.
Because here you areâso young and so sweet, so trusting in Jack that heâs just trying to look after you, when all he can think about is the fact that youâre not his. That they think youâre fair game. That every man in this room thinks he has a chance.
And the fact that heâs not going to let them anywhere near you.
-
The third time Jack Abbot appears at your side, he catches your elbow just as youâre about to step out the door with a man named Leo. Not to leave the barâjust for some airâbut then Jack says something about Mateo buying a round of shots and guides you back inside.
You donât mind. Not really. Especially not when a free drink is involved.
So you line up beside your coworkers and sink another shot of tequila with a grimace before Santos drags you back to the dancefloor.
The fourth time Jack Abbot intercepts you, youâre just about to start dancing with a handsome stranger Santos accidentally made you bump intoâbut before you can even take the manâs hand, Jack pulls you away, insisting you take a seat for a minute and drink more water.
Which, fine. Whatever.
But by the fifth interruption, youâre starting to notice a pattern.
And youâre getting a little annoyed.
âOh my God,â Santos says, her eyes going wide as the opening notes to ABBAâs Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! start blaring through the speakers. âWe have to dance. Come on!â
You barely have time to scoop your drink up off the bar before sheâs dragging you onto the dancefloorâinto the throng of warm bodies all moving to the beat beneath the single, sparkling disco ball.
The music pulses through the floor beneath your feet, the bass thrumming in your chest as Santos drags you deeper into the crowd. Somewhere between Mateoâs round of shots and your tenth song on the dancefloor, your jacket disappearedâand now your dress catches the light with every movement, glittering under the shifting colours as bodies press in from all sides.
The bar is still pretty full, even if the PTMC booth has already lost a few soldiers. There are still plenty of prospectsâplenty of strangers who might offer to take you home and make you forget all about Jack Abbot. Which is still very much the plan.
If only the man himself would stop interrupting every interaction like heâs doing you a favour.
At some point during the secondâor maybe thirdâchorus, Santos subtly steps away and a guy ends up in front of you. Youâre not even entirely sure how. One second youâre dancing and screaming the lyrics, the next heâs thereâclose enough that you can feel the heat of him, his hands hovering like heâs trying to decide where to put them.
You let it happen. Because this is what you want, right?
This is the plan.
He leans in and says something you donât quite catch over the music, but you laugh anywayâmore out of obligation than anything else.
Then his attention shifts.
His eyes flick past you. And just like thatâhe falters.
Itâs subtle, but you feel it. The hesitation. The way his body pulls back a fraction, like something just snapped him out of it.
âUhâactually,â he mutters, already stepping away. âIâyeah. Sorry.â
Then heâs gone.
You blink, frowning slightly as you glance over your shoulder andâ
Of course.
Jack Abbot, standing just beyond the edge of the dancefloor, drink in hand, eyes locked on you with a look that makes your stomach drop.
Not angry. Not exactly.
But intense. Sharp. Focused in a way that feels⌠deliberate.
You stare at him for a secondâfrustration flickering across your faceâthen turn back to Santos, who is still dancing with her vodka soda lifted in the air.
You lean in, raising your voice just enough to be heard over the music. âYour plan isnât working!â
She turns to face you, frowning. âWhat do you mean itâs not working?â
You stare at her. âThe plan to get me laid? Itâs not working.â
âWhy not?â
You huff out a laugh, incredulous.
âBecause of him,â you say, nodding toward Jack. âBecause I let him save me from one bad interaction and now heâs justâhovering. Interrupting. Scaring people off.â
Santosâ mouth twitches.
âI think he thinks heâs being helpful,â you add, shaking your head. âLike heâs doing me a favour or something, butâGod, Iâm never going to get a stranger to take me home with a hundred-and-ninety-pound war vet glaring over my shoulder every five minutes.â
Santos just looks at you for a secondâthen smiles. Slow. Knowing.
âAnd what part of my plan isnât working?â
You frown. âAre you even listening to me?â
âI said I was going to get you laid,â she says, lifting her drink to her lips. âI never said anything about going home with a stranger.â
It doesnât land straight away.
You blink at her, still frowning as you try to follow the logicâbecause that doesnât make sense, thatâs not the plan. If youâre not going home with a stranger, then whoâ
And then it clicks.
Your stomach drops.
âWaitâSantos,â you start, eyes widening. âYou donât meanââ
Santos just looks at you over the rim of her glass. Calm. Patient. Smiling faintly, like sheâs been waiting for this exact moment all night.
You glance toward the side of the dancefloor againâto the man still focused on you in a way that feels far too intentional now. Arms folded, jaw set. He doesnât even pretend to look away when you meet his stare.
âActually,â Santos says, her hand closing around your wrist. âI think my plan is working perfectly. Now, come onââ she nods toward the booth where everyone else is, âletâs play a game.â
A game?
Before you can argue or even question it, Santos is dragging you off the dancefloor toward the booth at the back of the bar. The thrum of the music dulls the further you get from the crowd, and by the time you both slide into empty seats at the table, you no longer feel like you need to yell just to be heard.
The PTMC crew has thinned since you were last sitting here. Robby, Dana, and Donnie are gone, and McKay is holding her purse in her lap like sheâd been trying to leave when Mateo cornered her with another rant about how no patient actually seems to understand the pain scale.
âAlright,â Santos announces, picking up someoneâs abandoned drink and taking a sip like she owns it, âweâre playing a game.â
Whitaker leans forward. âA game?â
âYes, Huckleberry. A game.â Santos glances around the table with a lazy half-smile. âItâs called Never Have I Ever.â
Mateo snorts. âThatâs a middle school sleepover game.â
âGreat,â Santos replies. âThen it should be easy for you.â
Thereâs a ripple of laughter around the table, but no one else seems to object.
âCan I start?â Mohan pipes up beside Santos. âIâve got a good one.â
Santos nods. âBe my guest.â
Youâre not entirely sure when Jack rejoined the table, since heâd been at the edge of the dancefloor just a few minutes ago, but now youâre suddenly very aware of his presence across from you. Like the few people that called it a night have unintentionally left a smaller, more intimate group behindâand now Jack Abbot is almost directly across from you while you play one of the most notorious, tension-raising middle school games of all time.
âOkay,â Mohan says, sitting up a little straighter. âNever have I ever⌠called in sick when I wasnât actually sick.â
McKay laughs. Mateo groans. Almost everyone at the table lifts their drinks.
âReally?â Santos says. âThat was your good one?â
Mohan shrugs. âI thoughtââ
âNever mind,â Santos cuts her off. âMy turn.â
Her gaze moves slowly around the table before landing on you, the corner of her mouth lifting just slightly.
âNever have I ever,â she starts slowly, âfantasised about someone else sitting at this table.â
Whitaker frowns. âYouâve accidentally fantasised about someone here?â
He shrugs. âSometimes the wrong people pop up, you know?â
Santos rolls her eyes. âOh my God. Whatever. Intentional or not.â
Mateo nods once and lifts his drink. Javadi sinks lower in her chair as she lifts hersâand you try not to look around at the rest of the table as you bring your own up to your lips.
Beside you, McKay drops her purse to the ground and straightens, clearly invested now.
âAlright, Iâve got one,â she says, grinning. âNever have I ever⌠faked it.â
Javadi chokes, Santos snorts, and across from you, Jack huffs out a quiet laugh.
âNever?â Ellis asks, eyes wide. âSo you alwaysââ
âOh, God, no,â McKay laughs. âDefinitely not. I just refuse to fake it.â
Laughter moves through the table again, a little louder this time, and everyone takes a second to decide whether or not to raise their drinks.
You lift yours slowly, looking anywhere but at Jack.
âOkay, my turn,â Ellis announces, shifting in her seat. âNever have I ever⌠hooked up with someone at work.â
The table reacts around you, a mix of laughter and quiet protest, but it all blurs at the edges when you finally glance upâbecause Jack is already looking at you.
Not surprised. Not amused.
Just⌠watching.
He doesnât laugh or say anything. He just lifts his drink, slow and deliberate.
And something sharp twists in your chest.
âWhatâve you got, Langdon?â McKay asks, nodding at him across the table.
Langdon strokes his chin thoughtfully for a momentâthen sighs.
âAlright, I already know Iâm going to get shit for this, butââ He clears his throat. âNever have I ever⌠had sex in public.â
McKay laughs, loudly, and lifts her drink to her lips without hesitation. Ellis and Santos drink too, while Mohan laughs into her hand and Javadi sinks even lower in her chair.
Across from you, Jack sips his drink again like itâs nothing.
And that sharp twist in your chest doesnât ease.
Because of course he has. Of course there are other people. Other women.
And youâ
You catch Santosâ gaze from the other end of the tableâsharp, knowing, daring.
Your grip tightens slightly around your glass.
And before you can talk yourself out of itâ
âOkay, my turn,â you say lightly, sitting up a little straighter.
Everyone turns to you, but you keep your eyes fixed on your glass.
âNever have I ever,â you say slowly, ââŚfinished during sex.â
For a secondânothing.
Then the table erupts.
âWhatânoââ Mateo is already laughing, leaning forward like he thinks youâre joking. âYouâre kidding.â
Javadi chokes on her drink, coughing as she turns toward you. âWait, seriously?â
âOh my God,â McKay says, half-laughing, half-staring at you like sheâs trying to figure out if youâre lying.
Langdon huffs out a quiet, disbelieving laugh, shaking his head. âWell⌠thatâs unfortunate.â
Whitaker just blinks at you, caught somewhere between surprised and confused, like he doesnât quite know what to do with that information.
Santos doesnât say anything. She just leans back in her seat, watching you over the rim of her glass with a slow, satisfied smile.
And across from youâ
Jack just goes still.
Completely still.
His expression doesnât change, but something in his eyes doesâsharp, dark, focused in a way that makes your stomach flip.
It takes you a minute to remember how to move. How to breathe. How to laugh and sip your drink and keep playing the game that doesnât stop just because it feels like your heart did.
Eventually, everyone eases off the third-degree on your embarrassingly real confession, and Mateo pipes up next with something ridiculous that makes the table groan. Then Javadi comes out with something surprisingly rebelliousâand blushes hard when Mateo flashes her a wink.
And so it goes on.
You know it does.
You can hear itâvoices overlapping, laughter breaking out again, someone arguing over what counts, someone else swearing theyâre being misrepresentedâbut it all feels⌠distant.
Like itâs happening a few steps away from you instead of right here at the table. Because now, all you can focus on is Jack. On the way heâs hardly moved. Hardly spoken. Hardly looked away from you.
At some point, he mutters his own confession with a small smirk and everyone laughsâbut you donât catch the words. Youâre too aware of everything else to hear them. Too aware of your pulse pounding in your ears, the thrum of the music beneath your feet, the way Jackâs jaw ticks every time you glance back at him.
Another round starts. Then another.
Someone groans. Someone laughs too loud. Santos says something that earns a chorus of reactionsâbut it all slips past you, unimportant, forgettable.
Time stretches. Blurs.
Your drink empties, refills, empties again.
People shift in their seats. Someone stands. Someone leaves.
Then suddenlyâ
âYou ready?â
You blink.
Santos is standing beside you, brows raised.
âReady?â you echo.
She nods toward the door. âTime to go. Most of us have to work tomorrow.â
You glance around at the empty table. âOh.â
Santos is already halfway to the door by the time you gather your things and catch up to her. Youâre still pulling your jacket on as you step outside, bracing against the cool night air that nips at every inch of exposed skinâwhich, in this dress, is a lot of skin.
âThe Uberâs just around the corner,â Whitaker says.
âGreat,â Mohan mutters, hugging her jacket tighter. âIâm freezing.â
Youâre not sure if itâs the alcohol or just the heat lingering beneath your skin from the way Jack had been watching you earlier, but youâre not nearly as cold as you should be.
âYou sure you donât mind if I stay over tonight?â Javadi asks, glancing between Santos and Whitaker.
Santos shrugs. âAs long as you donât mind the couchâand Dr. Shamsi isnât going to have us arrested for kidnapping.â
Javadi lets out an awkward laugh. âUhâno. Itâs totally fine. I told my dad.â
âAre you working tomorrow?â Whitaker asks.
Javadi shakes her head. âDay off. You?â
Whitaker sighs. âYeah.â
âSo am I,â Santos adds. âAnd if I donât get at least five hours sleep, I cannot be responsible for other peopleâs lives.â
âThatâs reassuring,â Jack mutters, almost startling you as he steps out of the bar.
He buries his hands in his pockets, hardly sparing you a glance as he steps closer to the group. Thereâs a faint hitch in his stepâsomething you recognise from the waning hours of a night shift, when heâs been on his feet for too long and starts to favour one leg.
âThis is us,â Whitaker announces, nodding toward the car pulling up at the curb.
Mohan hurries forward first, yanking the door open and climbing into the back seatâand Javadi is next, flashing you a smile before she ducks in beside her. You step forwardâthen hesitate. Whitaker is already holding the front passenger door open, and Santos is standing at the curb, about to join the others in the back.
âWait.â Your pulse jumps. âThereâs too manyââ
âYouâre with Dr. Abbot,â Santos says lightly, her mouth twitching like sheâs trying not to smile.
Your stomach drops.
âIâIâm what?â
Santos shrugs. âJavadiâs staying over and Mohanâs place is on the way to ours. Just makes sense.â
Then she climbs into the car, shuts the door, and rolls the window down.
âSee you tomorrow!â
Thereâs a chorus of goodbyes from the others before the car pulls away from the curbâand the cool, quiet night settles in too quickly. The only sound is the dull thrum of music from the bar, and the pounding of your pulse in your ears.
For a second, you donât turn around. You canât. Not now that youâre alone with him.
Thenâ
âIâm this way,â he says, voice low and rough and maddeningly hot.
You nod, but donât dare look at him as you start following the line of parked cars up the street.
The night air feels sharper now, cooler the further you get from the barâand it makes you pull into yourself, arms folded tightly while your jacket barely does anything to help.
Jack keeps an easy pace beside you, not crowding you, not touching you, but close enough that youâre aware of him anyway. Of the space he takes up at your side. Of the way he adjusts slightly so youâre walking on the inside of the path, further from the curb, without making a thing of it.
Neither of you says anything.
Itâs not awkward. Itâs just⌠quiet in a way that feels heavy, like the silence is holding onto everything that happened inside instead of letting it go.
Your heels click unevenly against the pavement, catching slightly every few steps, and youâre suddenly, painfully aware of everythingâthe way your dress shifts as you move, the cool air against your skin, the way your pulse hasnât quite settled.
You feel too sober. Too aware.
When his car finally comes into view, he moves ahead of you just slightlyâjust enough to reach the passenger door first and hold it open.
God. Heâs so annoyingly considerate.
You give him a small, tight smile before climbing into the passenger seat.
The car is still warm, still holding onto the heat from earlier in the day, and it smells like him in a way thatâs subtle but unmistakableâclean, familiar, something faintly sharp beneath it that you canât quite place but instantly recognise. The seat gives slightly beneath you, softer than you expect, and for a second you just sit there, hands hovering like youâre not entirely sure where to put them.
Itâs his.
All of it.
The way everything is exactly where it should be, nothing out of place. The faint scuff on the console. A pair of sunglasses tucked neatly into the centre compartment. His backpack thrown into the back seat like heâd discarded it in a hurry and never thought about it again.
The sound of the driverâs side door opening almost startles you.
You drop your hands into your lap, shifting slightly and smoothing your dress down over your thighs like that might ground you somehow.
The car immediately feels smaller when Jack climbs in. More intimate. Closer in a way thatâs almost stifling.
You keep your eyes fixed out the windshield.
Waiting.
For the engine to start. For the car to move.
But nothing happens.
The silence stretches, thick and suffocating, settling into every inch of the space between you.
And thenâ
âYou canât say shit like that around me.â
You blink, finally turning toward himâand regretting it immediately. Heâs so irritatingly handsome, so annoyingly gorgeous in a way that makes you want to be stupid and reckless and climb across the console into his lap.
âSay what?â you ask, your voice embarrassingly thin.
He looks at youânot fully, just turning his head slightly.
âYou know what,â he says, his voice low and rough with something that sounds a little too close to control slipping.
And you do.
You know exactly what he means.
But before you can say anything else, he turns the key and the engine rumbles to life. The radio crackles a little before some late-night news station fills the silenceâand he doesnât move to turn it off, doesnât even turn it down. He just drives.
The radio reporterâs voice hums through the car like white noise, talking about something youâre not really listening to as you try to focus on keeping your breathing even.
You can still hear his voice.
You canât say shit like that around me.
The way he said it. Low. Controlled. Like it cost him something to keep it that way.
Your fingers shift slightly in your lap, smoothing over the fabric of your dress again without thinking, and your mind starts turning his words over before you can stop itâpulling at them, testing them, trying to make them mean something that makes sense.
Because what does that even mean?
You glance at him, quick, like you might catch something you missedâbut heâs focused on the road, jaw set, one hand loose on the wheel like nothing happened. Like he didnât just change everything with eight little words.
You look away again.
No. He didnât mean it like that.
Heâs justâheâs your attending. Heâs responsible. Of course heâd say something. Of course heâdâ
Except he didnât say it like that.
Your stomach tightens as your thoughts circle back, slower this time, more deliberate.
The way he kept pulling you away from people tonight. The way heâd been watching you. The way he didnât laugh, didnât joke, didnât let it go.
The way he said it.
Around me.
Not here. Not in front of people.
Around me.
Your breath catches slightly, and you shift in your seat, suddenly very aware of the space between youâof how close he is, of how easy it would be to just turn your head, lean in andâ
No.
No, thatâs notâ
You swallow, gaze fixed stubbornly ahead.
Youâre just reading into it. You have to be.
Because the alternativeâ
Your pulse jumps.
God. The alternative is too much to even consider.
But the thought lingers anyway.
It settles in the back of your mind, quieter now, but heavierâpulling at everything he said, everything he did, everything you might have missed until now. The words circle back, sharper this timeâuntilâ
The car stopsâand you blink.
For a moment, you donât move. You canât.
Then Jack clears his throat.
âOhâuhâthanks,â you mutter, reaching for your seatbelt buckle.
He nods once. âAnytime.â
You push your door open before you can think too hard about it, stepping out into the cool night air that hits a little harder this time. Your heart is still beating in your throat, your pulse still too loud, your thoughts are still circling those eight wordsâeight little words that feel like they weigh far more than they should.
You hesitateâone hand on the door, the other gripping your keys in your jacket pocket.
God.
This is stupid.
This is reckless.
This isâ
âDo youââ You clear your throat, the words catching slightly before you force them out. âDo you want to come up?â
He stares at you for a second, then lets out a short, disbelieving breath, like heâs not quite sure he heard you right.
âYou canât be serious.â
Heat rushes up your neck, quick and unwelcome, and for a second you just stand there, wishing you could take it backârewind a few seconds and keep your mouth shut.
What the hell were you thinking?
âYeah,â you say, a little too quickly. âNo, that wasâthat was stupid.â
You turn away before he can say anything else, pushing the door shut harder than you mean to as you step back onto the sidewalk. You donât look back. You refuse to. You just keep walking toward the lobby door, drawing your keys from your pocket and fumbling through them to find the right one.
It takes longer than it should, but eventually you find the lobby key and wriggle it into the lock.
This door has never been your friend. Itâs old, a little rusted, and the lock has always been jankyâbut now your hands are shaking, and this stupid old door seems to think thatâs funny, because it wonât budge.
You jiggle the key and try again, but nothing changes.
Thenâ
âHere.â
His voice is low. Close.
Your hand stills as he steps in behind you, not touching, but close enough that you can feel the heat of him at your backâthe solid line of his chest just shy of pressing into you as he reaches past your shoulder.
His fingers brush yours as he takes the keyâand the lock turns easily this time.
Of course it does. Traitorous fucking door.
His arm lingers there for a second longer than it needs toâthen he pushes the door open.
You donât even glance at him as you step inside, already turning back to grab your key before the door swings shutâbut heâs still holding it, barely a step behind you.
He tilts his head slightly, nodding toward the lobby. âGo.â
Itâs quiet. Controlled.
Not a suggestion.
Your breath catches, just for a second, and you hesitateâlong enough to feel it, whatever this is, tightening between youâ
Then you turn and keep walking.
And he follows.
He follows you across the lobby, up the fire stairs, down the corridor, all the way to your apartment door. He stands a little closer than necessary as you unlock itâalmost like he doesnât think you know how doors work nowâbut the key turns smoothly this time.
You push the door open and step inside.
The apartment is quiet, dim, and you shrug out of your jacket without thinking. You can feel him watching you as you drape it over the arm of the sofa, and itâs a little... thrilling. Dangerous. Because Jack Abbot is in your goddamn apartment right now, looking at you like heâs a man on the edgeâ
And youâre daring him to jump.
âDrink?â you offer, keeping your voice lightâinnocent.
He clears his throat. âWater, please.â
You canât help the small smirk on your lips as you brush past him, a little closer than necessary.
âSo polite,â you murmur.
He doesnât move, doesnât shiftâbut you can feel him there, tense just beneath the surface.
You open the fridge and bend over to grab a bottle of water, letting your dress ride up the backs of your thighs in a way thatâs totally unnecessary. Jack clears his throat again, just a little too sharp, and when you glance back toward him, heâs turned away completely.
You press your lips together to keep from smiling too wide as you straighten again.
âHere,â you say, stepping toward him and holding the water out.
He turns hesitantly, taking it. âThank you.â
Your eyes catch his, a slow smile tugging at your lips before you bite the corner gently, just enough for him to notice. He looks away quickly, jaw tightening as he focuses on uncapping the water bottle.
You brush past him again, still a little too close, and move toward the sofa, dropping onto it and leaning forward to take off your shoes.
Jack takes a long swig of water, then clears his throat for the third time.
âAre you working tomorrow?â he asks.
You glance up, still leaned forward, and itâs hard not to notice the way his eyes dip from your face.
âIsnât that something you should already know?â
The corner of his mouth twitches, like he canât quite help himself.
âYouâre impossible. You know that?â
Heat rushes up your neck at the way he says itâshort, sharp, loadedâand you bite back a grin, letting your eyes glint just a little as you straighten.
âAm I?â you murmur, tilting your head just slightly. âOnly one way to find out.â
He freezes for a second, shoulders tight, hand curling slightly around the water bottleâand it crackles softly under his grip. His breath hitches, just barely.
âI should go,â he mutters, voice low and clipped.
He takes a step toward the doorâand you shoot up from the sofa, heartbeat racing.
âWaitâuhâbefore you go,â you say, stepping toward him, âcould you help me with something?â
He hesitates, turning slowly, as if every second in here is costing him something.
You move until youâre almost between him and the door, looking up at him through your lashes.
âCould you help me out of my dress?â
The second the words leave your lips, you forget how to breathe.
Jackâs jaw tightens, his shoulders coiling ever so slightly. His fingers twitch around the bottle, just a whisper of movement, as if holding himself together by force. His eyes catch yours, dark and sharp, taking in the faint scrunch between your brows, the small pout on your lips, the way youâre offering him something he never thought heâd be allowed to have.
He nods onceâcareful, controlledâbut the tension radiating off him is almost unbearable.
Your stomach flips.
Without a word, you turn, sweeping your hair out of the way while your pulse hammers in your ears.
You feel him shift, his warmth, and the ghost of his touch at the nape of your neck. And that first, tiny contact sends a shock straight through youâhot, sharp, impossible to ignore.
He pauses, just a heartbeat, and you catch the tiniest hitch in his breath.
Then he moves again, slow, deliberate, dragging the zipper down almost painfully slow, his knuckles grazing your skinâwarm, rough, controlled, just enough to make your heart pound in your throat.
âHow do you do it?â you whisper, voice catching slightly. âHow are you always so⌠unaffected by everything?â
âUnaffected?â he murmurs, almost tasting the word, as if testing it against himself.
His knuckles brush the small of your back, pausing where the zipper endsâbut he doesnât stop. His fingertips graze your skin, deliberate, teasing, tracing the line of your spine upward again, slow enough that it drags your breath with it, sharp enough that heat blooms through every nerve.
âYou have no idea,â he whispers, voice low and rough, almost breaking, âhow much you affect me.â
Your breath catches, sharp and sudden. Everything in your chest pulls tight, something hot and dizzying blooming low as his words sink in.
You turn before you can stop yourselfâand heâs closer now. Close enough that you can feel the warmth of him, the shift of his breath, the space between you narrowing into something fragile and dangerous.
For a second, neither of you move.
And then his hand finds your neckâ
Not rough, not rushedâjust firm enough to anchor you there, thumb pressing under your jaw like he needs to feel that this is real, that youâre real. His other hand tightens where it still holds the loosened fabric of your dress at your back, fingers curling into it like restraint is slipping through his grip.
He hesitates, just for a breath. Like heâs giving himself one last chance to walk away.
Then he kisses you.
Itâs not tentative. Thereâs nothing careful about it. It lands like something heâs been holding back for too long, all that control finally snapping under the weight of you standing here, asking for him, looking at him like that.
His mouth is warm and certain against yours, a sharp inhale breaking through you as you lean into him without thinking, your hands finding him just as quicklyâhis stomach, his chestâanything to hold onto as the world tilts. He makes a low sound, barely there, but you feel it more than you hear it, the vibration settling deep in your chest as his grip tightens.
You melt before you can stop yourself.
Your head tilts back, giving him more, and he takes it immediately, deepening the kiss with that same quiet intensity that steals the breath right out of you. His thumb shifts along your jaw, not lingering, just enough to guide you where he wants you, and the control of itâGod, the way he still tries to control it after everything, after all that restraintâmakes something in your stomach flip hard.
His hand at your back slips under the loosened zipper, fingers pressing into your bare skin now, warm and steady, but thereâs tension in it. You can feel it in the way his grip flexes, like heâs still tryingâstillâto hold the line even as he pulls you closer.
It doesnât work.
Not when you press into him like this, not when your fingers curl tighter in his shirt, not when you kiss him back without hesitation, without thinking about consequences or lines or anything except how he feels against you.
He exhales against your mouth, sharp, like youâve just undone him, and for a second the kiss faltersânot because heâs pulling away, but because heâs trying to.
You feel it. The conflict. The split second where he almost stops.
Your hand slides up to his jaw, fingers catching there, holding him in place before he can even try.
âDonât,â you whisper, barely pulling back, your lips brushing his as you speak.
And something in him gives.
You see it in the way his eyes darken, in the way his hand tightens at your back, pulling you flush against him this time, the last inch of space gone like it was never allowed to exist in the first place.
When he kisses you again, itâs deeper.
Less restrained.
Like heâs finally stopped pretending this isnât exactly what he wants.
Itâs different nowâharder, hungrier, like something in him has shifted for good. His hand slides from your jaw to your waist, gripping tight as he steps into you, crowding you back without breaking the kiss, without giving you a second to think.
Your back meets the door with a soft thud.
He doesnât stop.
If anything, it only makes him sharper, more certain, his mouth moving against yours with a kind of urgency that steals the air right out of your lungs. You barely get a breath before he takes it again, and you let himâGod, you let himâtilting into him, giving him everything he reaches for.
His hand tightens at your waist, then slips lower, dragging you flush against him again, like he needs to feel exactly how close he can get before he loses control completely.
And you can feel itâhow close he is.
Itâs in the way his grip flexes, in the way his breath turns uneven against your mouth, in the way the kiss keeps deepening like he canât quite stop himself from taking more.
Your fingers find his shirt again, pulling him closer, and he breaks the kiss just long enough to drag in a breath, his forehead almost brushing yours, like heâs tryingâone last timeâto get a handle on this.
He doesnât.
His hands are on you again, immediate, sliding up your sides, pushing the straps of your dress from your shoulders in one smooth, decisive motion. The fabric gives easily, slipping under his hands like it was never meant to stay there in the first placeâand it falls to the floor, pooling at your feet.
His breath catches, and his gaze dropsâjust for a second, but itâs enough.
âTell me to stop,â he says, voice low, roughânothing steady about it now.
You meet his eyes, chest rising and falling fast, heat still sparking under your skin.
âBedroom,â you murmur.
For a second, he just looks at you.
Something in his expression shiftsâtightensâlike that word landed exactly where it shouldnât. His gaze searches yours for a moment, checking for hesitation, for doubt.
But he doesnât find any.
He nods onceâand you turn, already moving toward the bedroom. You can feel him right behind you, close enough that his hand finds your waist again before youâve even taken two steps, steady, grounding, like heâs not about to let you get too far ahead of him.
Itâs barely a walk.
More like being guidedâpulledâacross the apartment toward your room, your pulse loud in your ears, every step charged with the knowledge of what youâve just set in motion.
The door barely makes it closed before heâs on you again.
Not rushedânever rushedâbut certain, like the decision has already been made and thereâs no point pretending otherwise. His hands find you first, steady at your waist, turning you back toward him before you can take another step into the room.
Your breath catches as you look up at him. Thereâs something in his expression youâve never seen before. Itâs not soft, not gentleâjust stripped of whatever distance heâd been holding onto all night.
Gone.
His gaze drags over you, slow and deliberate, and this time thereâs nothing in the way of itânothing to hide behind, nothing to buffer itâand the heat in it settles low in your stomach, heavy and immediate.
âStill want this?â he asks, voice rough, quieter nowâbut it lands heavier here.
You donât answer. You just step into him.
And itâs all the permission he needs.
His hand tightens at your waist as he pulls you back into him, and the kiss this time is slower, deeper in a way that feels intentionalâlike heâs choosing it, not chasing it. His mouth moves against yours with a kind of controlled hunger, every shift measured, every breath deliberate, like heâs letting himself feel it fully instead of fighting it.
Your fingers curl into his shirt, and he exhales against your mouth, something unsteady finally breaking through.
His grip shiftsâfirmer nowâguiding you back a step, then another, not hurried, not careless, but unrelenting all the same. You feel the edge of the bed behind your knees before you fully register moving at all, your focus too caught in the way heâs kissing you, the way his hand anchors you like heâs not about to let this get away from him.
His mouth breaks from yours just long enough to draw in a breath, his forehead pressing briefly to yours.
Not hesitation. Control.
Or what little he has left of it.
âLast chance,â he murmurs, quieter now.
You drop back onto the bed, gaze locked on his, breath still uneven.
âIâm not the one holding back.â
You barely have time to move up the mattress before heâs there, crowding over you, hands braced on either side as he follows you down. The mattress dips under his weight, the space between you gone in an instantâreplaced by the solid heat of him, the firm press of his hips against yours.
His mouth finds yours again, hot and insistent, teeth catching your bottom lip just enough to pull a soft sound from youâbut itâs different now. Slower. Not restrained, but deliberate. Curious, almost.
Like heâs learning you.
The way you react. The way you move under him. The way you give.
Your hands slide up his chest, fingertips digging in as heat coils low in your stomachâbut they donât stay there long. He shifts his weight slightly, steady, controlled, one hand lifting off the mattress to catch your wrist.
His fingers close around itânot tight, not forcefulâjust certain, guiding.
He lifts your hand above your head.
âJack,â you whisper. âIââ
He shushes you.
âLet me do this, okay?â His voice is rough, thick with something unsteady beneath itâsomething that makes your stomach knot. âIâve got you.â
And you believe him.
His hand slides down your body, slow and sure, brushing over your chest, your waist, the curve of your hipâeach touch deliberate, like heâs taking his time even now, even like this. His fingers hook at the inside of your thigh, grip firm as he nudges your leg wider.
âThatâs it,â he murmurs. âGood girl.â
The words go straight through you.
You can already feel the damp heat between your legs, the slick fabric pressed close, but the way he says itâthe way his voice dropsâmakes your hips shift up instinctively, chasing something you canât quite reach.
Chasing him.
And he notices. Of course he does.
You only just catch the faint lift at the corner of his mouth before his lips are back on yours, swallowing the breath from you as your back arches, pressing yourself up into him without thinking. Your fingers curl into the sheets above your head, tension pulling tight through your body as everything narrows down to where heâs touching youâwhere he isnât touching you.
His hand drags back up your thigh, slower this time. Intentional. And when his fingers finally press against you through the thin fabric, you gasp.
He takes the sound from you immediately, mouth moving against yours, deeper now, like heâs feeding off it, like every reaction just pushes him further. His fingers start to moveâslow, circling, testingâwhile his mouth leaves yours to trail along your jaw, your cheek, the side of your neck.
With your mouth free, the sounds slip out before you can stop them.
Soft. Unsteady. Needy.
And he loves it.
You feel it in the way his breath shifts, in the way his grip tightens just slightly, in the way his hips rockâslow, controlled, a subtle pressure of denim thatâs more suggestion than friction.
âJackââ your voice catches, breaking on his name. âPlease. I wantââ
âTell me, sweetheart,â he murmurs, mouth brushing your shoulder, voice low and coaxing.
âMore,â you manage, breath shaking. âNeed more.â
He groans against your skin, the sound low and rough, his body settling heavier over yours like any space between you is something he canât stand.
Then his hand shifts.
Your breath catches as his fingers slide beneath the damp fabric, dragging through your wet heat in one slow, deliberate stroke.
Your whole body jolts. âFuckâJackââ
The reaction pulls something from himâa sharp inhale against your neck, his mouth pressing there like he needs to ground himself for a second before he loses it completely.
Youâve never felt like this before. Never this hot, this open, this aware of every inch of your own body.
And youâve never wanted anyone like this before.
âGod,â he murmurs, voice thick, lips tracing back up your throat. âYouâre so wet for me, sweetheart.â
All you can do is nod, whimpering softly, your hips lifting without permission, chasing him, asking for more without the wordsâand he gives it to you. Of course he does.
His finger slides inside you, slow at first, letting you feel itâthe stretch, the heatâbefore he pushes deeper, and the sound that breaks from you is swallowed instantly as his mouth finds yours again, your back arching beneath him as he starts to move. Not fast. Never fast. He sets a rhythm instead, steady and controlled, curling his finger just enough to make your breath catch, just enough to make your hips move against him again.
And when you press into it, when your body starts to chase that feeling properly, he adds another finger, the stretch pulling a broken sound from your throat as your hands tighten in the sheets and your body rolls beneath him, helpless to it now, completely caught in the slow, deliberate way he works you open.
Every movement is intentional. Every curl hits deeper, sharper, building something tight and aching low in your stomach that makes your whole body tremble, your breath coming out in uneven gasps as you press into his hand, chasing, needing.
Then his thumb finds your clit, and the contact is immediateâdevastating.
You cry out, sharp and breathless, your whole body tightening as he starts slow, deliberate circles that send heat spiralling through you, your hips lifting again, desperate now, unable to stay still under him.
You canât answerânot when his mouth is everywhere, your throat, your jaw, the corner of your mouth, like he canât decide where he wants you most before he finds your lips again, and this time the kiss is different again. Hungrier. Messier. His tongue presses into your mouth just as his fingers push deeper, his thumb working harder, more deliberate now, and the moan that tears from you is swallowed whole.
âPlease,â you whimper against his mouth, breath breaking. âPlease, Iâneed you.â
He lifts his head, dark eyes searching yours, brows pulling together just slightly.
âYou sure?â
You stare at him, trying not to whimper as your whole body clenches around his stilled fingers, the sudden stillness almost worse than anything he was doing before.
âNever have I ever finished during sex, remember?â you manage, breathless but steady enough to land. âYou gonna fix that, or what?â
Something feral flickers across his face.
And then itâs goneâreplaced by something heavier. Something decided.
He kisses you again before you can catch your breath, all teeth and tongue, the restraint heâs been clinging to snapping clean in half as he groans into your mouth, the sound dragged straight from his chest. You feel the loss of his fingers immediately, your body protesting it, but itâs replaced just as quickly by the slow, deliberate roll of his hips, the friction of denim against your soaked panties making you gasp against him.
âFuck,â he breathes, like he canât quite believe it.
He pulls back just enough to shift, bracing himself on one arm while the other moves to his belt, not rushed but far from steady now. Thereâs a hitch in his breath, a tension in the way his fingers work at it, shoving his jeans and briefs down just enough to free himself, and your gaze drops before you can stop it.
Heâs already hardâfully, heavilyâflushed and slick at the tip, and the sight of it sends a sharp pulse of heat straight through you, your mouth going dry even as your body reacts in the complete opposite way.
âFuckââ he chokes, the word breaking out of him. âI havenât been this hard inââ His eyes flick back up to yours, dark and molten, and whatever he was going to say changes. ââever.â
It hits you low and deep, twisting something tight in your stomach that makes your hips shift under him without thinking. You finally let go of the sheets, your hands finding him, sliding up to wrap around his neck as you pull him back down, needing him closer, needing him everywhere.
Your legs come up around his waist, drawing him in, urging him forward, and his breath stutters as he presses in, his swollen tip dragging against the damp fabric between you. The contact is just enough to make your head fall back, a broken sound slipping from your throat as he triesâtriesâto hold himself up, one arm braced, the other moving between you.
You can feel the strain in him now, the way everything is slipping in real time, in the slight shake of his arm, in the uneven rhythm of his breathing as his hand hooks into the waistband of your panties.
âIâll buy you new ones,â he murmurs against your mouth, voice rough, almost distracted, like the thought barely registers before itâs gone. âPromise.â
And then the fabric gives.
The sound of it tearingâsharp, suddenâgoes straight through you, your breath catching hard as he pulls the fabric out of the way, the last barrier gone in an instant.
It shouldnât be as hot as it is.
But it is.
Jack Abbotâcontrolled, composed, always holding the lineâlosing it enough to rip your panties off you?
Fuck.
He sinks into you in one steady thrust, and both of you gasp at the stretchâthe sudden, overwhelming closeness, the way want crashes hot and heavy between you. Your pulse hammers in your ears, that dizzy edge of fear and urgency tangling together until all you can think is himâhere, now, inside you.
For a moment, you just breatheâpant, reallyâeyes squeezed shut, hands locked on his shoulders as your body clenches around him, like youâre trying to keep him right there, like you never want to let him go. He drops his head to your neck, breath hot against your damp skin, and you feel the way it shakes out of him.
âYouâfuckâyouâre so tight, sweetheart,â he pants, voice rough and muffled where his mouth presses into you. âIâm not gonna lastââ
âThen donât,â you murmur, your voice softer but no less certain. âJust fuck me. Please, Jack.â
A groan tears out of him, low and wrecked, and you feel it through his chest as he shifts above you, hips pulling back, his cock dragging against your walls in a way that makes your stomach coil tight, sparks chasing across your skin. You suck in a sharp breath, your grip tightening on himâand before you can brace, he drives forward again, deeper this time.
âFuckââ you cry out, the sound breaking loose without warning. âJackââ
He doesnât stop. His hips roll back again, slower now, controlled in a way that almost makes it worse, his head lifting so he can look at you, really look at you, like heâs checking, like he needs to see it.
The anticipation coils tighter in your chest, sharp and electric, lighting up every nerve in your body until it almost hurts.
âMhm,â you manage, breath unsteady, nodding as your arms wind tighter around his neck, pulling him closer, needing him closer, like it still isnât enough.
For a secondâjust a secondâyouâre distracted by something stupid, the feel of his shirt between you, the barrier of it, the way you want it gone, want skin on skin, want to see him, feel him, all of himâ
And then he thrusts forward again. Harder again. And the thought disappears completely.
Your body jolts beneath him, every movement knocking the breath from your lungs, and the sound that leaves you is loudâtoo loudâechoing back off the walls in a way that would make you self-conscious any other time.
But not now.
Right now, you donât care who hears. Not when it feels like this.
His name spills from your lips in broken gasps, tangled with raw cries, and he answers with a rough sound against your shoulder, biting it back as his hips drive into you at a relentless pace. Heâs barely holding himself up now, his weight pressing into you in a way that feels like too much and somehow still not enough, the strain in him obvious in every uneven breath, every sharp exhale against your skin.
His hand drags down your side, back to your thigh, fingers digging in as he pushes your leg wider, and the shiftâsmall as it isâhits something deeper, sharper, your vision flashing white as your head tips back and the knot in your belly pulls tight. His grip slides to your hip, anchoring you there, holding you in place so every thrust lands exactly where it needs to, deep and unrelenting, the sound of it filling the room, wet and rhythmic and impossible to ignore beneath the broken sounds youâre both making.
And then his hand moves between you.
You feel it immediatelyâthe change, the focusâas his fingers find your clit in the slick mess between your bodies, steady despite everything else, despite the way heâs losing himself in every way. Your back arches, breath catching sharp as his touch turns deliberate, circling, pressing, coaxing, sending jolts of sensation straight through you until itâs too much, not enough, everything all at once.
âJackââ you whine, the sound falling apart as soon as it leaves you. âFuck, Iââ
âI know, sweetheart,â he mutters against your jaw, voice wrecked. âCome on my cock, yeah?â
Your hips lift to meet him without thinking, chasing the rhythm heâs set, chasing the pressure, the friction, the way heâs working you with a precision that feels almost cruel now. His hand doesnât falter, his fingers moving with intent, building and building, every touch sending sharp bursts of pleasure up your spine as the tension in your stomach pulls tighter, tighter, until it feels like it might snap.
Itâs never felt like this before. Youâve never felt like this before.
Your whole body tightens, back arching, legs trembling around him as your hips grind up against his, desperate, chasing something you canât hold onto. He keeps hitting that same spot, again and again, relentless, his pace rougher now, less controlled, while his fingers stay locked on you, steady, practiced, pushing you right to the edge and holding you there.
You cry out, the sound raw, breaking from your chest as everything finally tips.
The release hits all at onceâsharp, overwhelming, tearing through you in a rush that steals your breath and leaves nothing behind but heat and tension snapping loose. Your body locks up around him, tightening, pulsing, your hands gripping at him as your legs shake, your hips still moving against his like you canât stop, like you donât want to.
âFuck,â he groans, burying his face in your neck, his voice wrecked as he keeps moving inside youâslower now, but deeper, like heâs chasing every last pulse of you, like he doesnât want to miss a second of it. âThatâs it. Thatâs my girl.â
His rhythm falters, hips stuttering, and then he loses it completelyâa broken sound tearing from him as he drives into you one last time, deep and hard, spilling inside you as his whole body tenses, shuddering above yours.
You feel itâevery part of itâthe way he comes undone, the way he clings to you through it, like he needs something to hold onto just as much as you do. Your bodies keep moving together, slower now, instinctive, chasing the last fading edges of it as your breathing stays uneven, your chests rising and falling in sync, skin slick and overheated where youâre pressed together.
It takes a moment to come back downâa long one.
But eventually, the tension drains from him and he collapses almost fully above you, face buried into your shoulder, his weight heavy and grounding as he exhales, slow and spent. It makes it a little harder to breatheâbut you donât mind.
Not when you can feel his heartbeat against your chest, strong and real, still racing like yours.
-
For the first time in two weeks, Jack Abbot isnât stupidly early for his shift. He couldnât be, really. Because heâd woken up late this morning, limbs tangled with yours in warm sheets that smelled so much like you it made his head spinâand that had thrown off everything else he needed to get done today.
If it was up to him, he wouldnât have left at allâbut he had to. He had police paperwork to finish, a neighbourâs cat to feed, and sleep he shouldâve caught up on before being back in charge of an entire emergency department for twelve hours. But on the bright side? He knows you have a swing shift today, which means he doesnât need to be early to see you, because youâre going to be stuck at PTMC until at least ten p.m. tonight.
With him.
And he really shouldnât be looking forward to that as much as he is.
âAfternoon, Dr. Abbot,â Dana says, glancing over the top of her glasses. âWasnât sure weâd see you today. Arenât you usually here by now?â
âIâm on time,â Jack mutters. âIâm a busy man.â
Dana hums, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly as her eyes drop back down to the tablet in her hands.
Jack tries not to appear too conspicuous as he scans the department, glancing toward the trauma bays and South corridor as he passes the nursesâ station. He shouldnât be this anxious to see you againânot in the apprehensive kind of way, but in the way that makes it feel like his lungs wonât quite fill until youâre near him again.
âSheâs not here,â Dana says without looking up from her chart. âWasnât feeling well, so Ellis came in early.â
Jack spots Ellis across central, exiting one of the rooms with Santos at her side, and he opens his mouth to say somethingâdefend himself, maybe, lie about what or who he was looking forâbut he hesitates, unsure what he could say that wouldnât incriminate him further.
So instead, he just drops his head and keeps walking, fumbling for his phone in his pocket.
Heâd seen you this morning. Just this morning. You were sleepy, had a headache, so he got you water and Tylenol and kissed you before he leftâbut you hadnât said anything about feeling so unwell you were going to call in sick.
Jack doesnât stop until he reaches the lockers, then turns back to survey the ED one last time before leaning a shoulder against the wall and pulling up his text thread with you. He hadnât texted you today because he knew heâd see you tonight and didnât want to seem⌠overbearing. Even now, heâs not sure if he shouldâbut he feels off in a way he hasnât in years, like heâs waiting on something he canât control and itâs making him feel sick.
What if last night hadnât meant what he thought it did? What if you regretted it? What if it was justâ
âHey, kid,â Dana calls from the nursesâ station. âBig night?â
Jackâs head snaps upâand there you are.
The relief hits before he can stop it, sharp and instant, loosening something in his chest he hadnât realised was wound so tight. He swallows it down just as quickly, his expression settling before anyone can clock it.
âYou donât know the half of it,â you mutter.
Dana huffs a short laugh. âI have a feeling I donât want to know.â
Jack canât help but watch as you cross the floor toward him, your backpack hanging from one shoulder while the other hand presses two fingers to your temple, like you could massage the headache away. Thereâs a smug little smile on your lips when you reach him, slowing your steps until you pause just beside himânot too close, but enough to make his breath catch.
You glance down at his phone, at the open message thread where his thumb is hovering, and your smirk curves a little higher.
âMiss me?â
Jack locks his phone and tucks it back into his pocket.
âThought you were sick.â
You lift one shoulder. âA little hungover, so Ellis swapped with me.â
For a second, neither of you move. He just looks at youâand you look right back, like you both know exactly whatâs changed, even if neither of you is about to say it out loud. Not here. Not now.
âAnd I missed the night shift attending,â you say finally.
Thenâbefore he can respond, before heâs even fully processed what you saidâyou lean in and press a quick kiss to his cheek. Only brief. Barely anything.
But it feels like everything.
And just like that, Jack Abbot is done pretending he isnât yours.
Š 2026 geminiwritten
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