follow your heart 'til it bleeds

(30-something, she/her, demi-bisexual)

[kimpossibooty]

Listen. I’ve got a new grift. I’m posing as an automated gnome fact service and confusing the shit out of people. Have someone you want me to prank? $10. $10 and they’ll be inducted into a life of gnomishness. Want it for yourself? I’m willing to talk to you too.

Venmo me @TomJGrennell and drop me a message with the phone number you want me to haunt!

This is also for a good cause which is paying off a lot of debt from emergency dental work and emergency pet surgeries and emergency car replacements and so on

[kimpossibooty]

I already have one person on the hook and they are Not Having It. Come destroy your friends’ phones with me!

[kimpossibooty]

I cannot tell you how obsessed I am with how many of you are doing this you are all my VERY favorite people and I love you so much and I will make sure your friends get your money’s worth 🫡

[kimpossibooty]

Also I’ve started an email account as well so any and all international gnome fans are included now!

[kimpossibooty]

I got banned from the texting app so I immediately made half a dozen burner accounts and resumed services. I am nothing if not a consummate professional.

[kimpossibooty]

Sorry for spamming this so much but this is truly one of the most fun things I’ve done in ages

[kimpossibooty]

highly researched (by me) and highly reliably sourced (source: me) and you can absolutely sign yourself up!

[kimpossibooty]

Probably approaching capacity (until I actually automate things), so get in on this before the service/pricing structure changes! One $10 payment gets you messages in perpetuity for the time being!

[kimpossibooty]

Folks I am nearing thirty clients, I am having the time of my life, my “customer satisfaction” surveys I’m sending the targets are coming back overwhelmingly positive so they’re loving it too, AND I’m able to make a big payment on my credit card and my medical payment plan!!! Thank you all for making this happen!!! Still open for more so hit me up if you’re interested!!!

[badley]

themes commonly found in international friendships

- ‘u dont have (insert food/music/restaurant here) over there??’ - ‘wait what time is it. shouldnt u be asleep’ - alternatively: timezoned/clockblocked again - ‘do u need a hug. have a virtual hug’ - weird slang terms - ‘i will fight everyone thats mean to u. i will fight them rn’ - vague embarrassment regarding ur accent - ‘dont maKE ME COME OVER THERE’ - ‘oh yeah i have a friend who lives in (insert country here) and apparently’ - no real hugs :(( - suffering - fahrenheit vs celsius - the measuring of things in feet fucks one of u up, probably

[zipstick]

AND DONT FORGET

“i made food do you want some”

“yes”

[whalesharkcat]

@textilesimp “wait a second, isn’t it 6am for you right now?!” after we spent 3 hours talking….

[fakecrfan]

I know most people on here don't like to go to the gym because you're all gay nerds. I like to go to the gym. For the purpose of understanding this post please try to imagine that you, too, enjoy going to the gym so that you can empathize with my point here.

Anyway, so imagine you are going to the gym. You're pumped about the concept of getting some muscle on you. Plus, the gym has this "lift weights every day!" challenge with a feasible plan to slowly and safely increase the amount of weight you can lift by the end of the month. Cool!

So anyway you go there, and you're having a good time. But then you notice something. Some people are coming in with these guys in shirts that say LIFT FOR HIRE. You're curious, and you notice over time that some people are actually paying these guys to come in and do the lifting challenge for them.

"Huh," you say to your mega hot, muscled gym buddy. "That's so weird. What's in it for the people paying these guys?"

"Dunno," says your friend, mid bicep curl.

"Um, actually!" says the gym owner. "Some people are disabled, so the only way they can lift weights it to pay LIFT FOR HIRE, inc."

"But wait," you say. "They still aren't lifting the weights though? Paying someone else to lift for you doesn't mean you've lifted the weights."

The gym owner gasps. "How could you SAY that?"

"Because... it's true?" you say. "Uh, if you pay guys to lift your weights, that's probably really good for the guys you are paying. But it's not going to develop your ability to lift at all. Your muscles aren't going to grow, you're just going to lose money and get no results."

"That's ABLEIST," they say. "How DARE you! Some people are LITERALLY paralyzed, did you think of that?"

"Well, yeah, some people are, and that means definitionally they can't lift weights," you explain. "And paying someone else doesn't change that. Maybe if they wanted to like, move something in their house it would make total sense to hire these guys! But if you hire them to do your workout you get nothing, because the purpose of a workout is personal development. I'm not morally condemning people who do it, but it seems like a waste of money when this event is, again, about improving one's personal abilities."

"This is absolutely DISGUSTING, CLASSIST rhetoric!" the gym owner roars, and then turns to one of the LIFT FOR HIRE guys, "Pay no attention this disgusting person, dear sponsor, we support your business and we totally want you to keep funding our gym!"

"Sponsor?" says your hot muscled friend who was way too busy actually doing their workout and getting gains to engage in dumb discourse. "Oh, now it makes sense."

"Shut up, you don't understand our love!" says the gym owner, before sloppily making out with a LIFT FOR HIRE guy in front of you.

Anyway, that's what learning about the whole AI nanowrimo controversy was like for me.

[o-writers-woes]

[thevulcanbobdylan]

10% typing

80% lying in bed thinking "aw fucking YES bitches this shit is fireeeeee"

10% staring blankly at the screen, having forgotten

[happyk44]

[ID: Two panel comic titled Writing Is. First panel shows a stickfigure person typing rapidly at their laptop with a smile on their face. The text beside the drawing reads, "10% typing". Second panel shows another stickfigure person staring at their PC monitor. Their hands are folded over their lips and their brows are furrowed. The text beside the drawing reads, "90% staring blankly at the screen" /end ID]

[austin-n-oli]

Confession: I have a friend who likes to text me at like 4am when he’s had nightmares or he can’t sleep or he just needs a friend. He thinks I’m always awake at 4am but really I go to bed around 12am and I change his text-tone to the loudest one I have just so it wakes me up when he needs me.

[cryptv0id]

you’re the kind of friend everyone needs

[austin-n-oli]

I think that since its been a year since I made this post its time for an update. In the past year I’ve watched this post grow and grow, people I work with have told me about it as “this post I saw the other day” and they have no idea it’s my post. The person I wrote this about has even reblogged it. He is no longer texting me at 4am. Not because we no longer speak but because the nightmares have stopped. He and I both are in a much better place. Most often the only times he’s waking me up at 4am is when he’s pulling me closer to him while we sleep. He’s more than a friend now and I’m forever thankful to have him. Everyone messaged me saying he was lucky to have me but I think I was just as lucky to have him and I would do it all over.

[paradoxolotl]

[justalurkr]

Queer Chameleon and Friends

Written and illustrated by Amee Wilson

This book is a delightful collection of queer comics from flag definition to things queer people hate to clichés a little too close for comfort.

Main message: you are who you say you are.

[chibird]

Please don’t feel bad for resting when your body or soul needs it! 💛

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon

[akindplace]

joyfulsmolthings

[eerietea-deactivated20250112]

Posting some old art of mine as well!

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[burnt-kloverfield]

Adding @marcholasmoth 's tags because that is legitimately a fun fact

[dare-to-dm]

That context definitely puts a new spin on the phrase, though. Like, that's not expressing a normal kind of happy. That's expressing "I'm not currently experiencing gut churning legitimate fear for my life, which is nice"

[the-stray-liger]

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

[beefybluewerewolf]

[dracophile]

Spider strength he can’t control + Lifts = Hilarity

[aethersea]

Miles, muttering to himself: do not yeet the ballerina. do NOT yeet the ballerina

[thatgirlonstage]

Jumps. JUMPS.

Miles frantically googling “How high can normal people jump??? How high can ballerinas jump?????? I don’t think I’m supposed to be able to jump straight up to the ceiling and also I keep getting stuck up there please help”

[phantoms-lair]

Once Mile’s spider sense pinged lightly about a balcony set and he told the crew master he had a bad feeling about it. The balcony collapsed later. No one was hurt, but now Miles has to go over sets and pronounce them clear of ‘bad feelings’

He’s not even good enough to be in shows yet, but nothing goes out without his seal of approval

[firebirdeternal]

honestly I have known so many stage managers and props department people who are Exactly This Superstitious. (And hell, in this case they’re not even wrong he literally has magic danger powers)

I’ve also known a few dancers, and without exception the reaction to finding out this boy can effortlessly hold them in a single arm lift or YEET them dozens of feet in the air (And catch them after!) would be PURE GLEE.

[crazy-pages]

“Okay, Glynda, look, we all know he’s Spiderman. Kid’s terrible at hiding it. But imagine this. None of us tell him we know and none of us tell him how high ballerinas can really throw their partners. And each class we just keep on pretending like we’re impressed with how fast he’s improving but, y'know, he’s still got further to go.”

“Uhuh, yeah, I see that look in your eyes Glynda. You know exactly where I’m going with this. How high do you think Spiderman can throw you?”

“Okay, Glynda, stop giggling, the giggling is creepy. Dessie, please make her stop giggling.”

[silver-thyla]

This is wonderful

[starstruckmyths]

One day, in the middle of ballet class, there was a robbery going on a block away, so of course Miles’ gotta rush over there to help out. He grabs his mask, but doesn’t have time to put on his whole suit because he said he was going to the bathroom and it’s be weird if he was gone for so long.

Cue Spider-Man kicking ass in pink ballet shoes and leggings.

This actually increased his popularity severely, and lots of people suddenly gained the interest in ballet; boys too, because if someone as cool as Spider-Man does it, everyone can do it.

When he’s back the instructors don’t comment on the rip in his shirt, the dirt on his shoes, or the smear of paint on his leggings. They make sure to treat the class afterwards. After all, it’s not every day that Spider-Man stops a bunch of bankrobbers and manages to do a high pirouette without crashing through the ceiling this time!

[janedrewfinally]

This keeps getting better!

[dakotafinely]

Someone: *Attempts to comment on how weird it is that Miles can throw Glenda high enough she can touch the roof with her palm*

The Stage Manager:

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Ballet companies starting rumours that Spiderman doesn’t actually has super powers, he’s just classically trained

You too could scale buildings if you would just practice regularly and focus on your core

[probablybadrpgideas]

At the end of character creation, have every player roll a d100 for “plot reasons”. When the game begins, reveal that the result is how many miles in the air the characters start the campaign at.

[probablybadrpgideas]

I have been informed that the edge of space is 50-62 miles off the ground, depending on which measurement you use. In light of this new information, I will not be amending the post in any way.

[everythingfox]

0 survival instincts

[johnnywooh]

[lupusadlunam]

thechangelingmedusa:

Like seriously, why isn’t pole dancing an olympic sport? This is freakin gymnastics. This is strength and skill. This is not sexual whatsoever. Why does pole dancing have to be so stigmatised as a sexual thing that only strippers do? I have great respect for all people who can pull this off. This is art and beauty right here. 

[naturalmomma-deactivated2015092]

HEY FUN FACT: pole dancing is known as something strippers do because strippers invented it. And that’s okay! It’s okay to have respect for strippers and the hard work they put into what they do! Let’s stop trying to take the stripper part out of pole dancing so upperclass white girls can do it without being ~stigmatized~ because god forbid women be sexual.

[fsthhdwefg-deactivated20180515]

Seriously, ballet was originally invented by prostitutes, and now look, it’s a fine art with no sexual stigma. Respect art in whatever form it comes.

[skeletal-stoner]

pole dancing is beautiful.

[peacelovefairytales-deactivated]

Reblogging for the bold part.

[authoratmidnight]

“ballet was originally invented by prostitutes”

It was not. Like ever.

It seems to have initially originated in Renaissance court dances. It was an art form meant to entertain the aristocrats and kept evolving from there. But most of it’s history is ‘dance performed in front of rich people’. There is NO history of sex work in it.

[lesbianjimmymcgill]

"I know your school didn't teach you how to write fanfic-" I know this is something said in response to Americans whining about their education system in response to racism, but my school English class actually did have us write an epilogue to a book we were reading as an assignment, so in a way my school did teach me how to write fanfic. I have no point to make with this point and I don't care to i just wanted to share a tidbit about my life

[dsudis]

We had to do this with Jane Eyre. For extra nerdiness I did mine as a CS Lewis fusion/crossover and produced “The Janetape Letters” written by a demon trying and failing to tempt Jane to betray herself and despair.

(I had already been writing and reading actual fanfic for a few years by then, so I felt like I was getting away with something rather than having my eyes opened to new possibilities.)

[leveragehunters]

In grade 8, we had to rewrite the end of Lord of the Flies, and it was awesome. I can't remember the exact details, but I went with murder/suicide. One of the things the teacher talked about was trying to match the writing style, characters, and themes of the book. So yes, school did teach me to write fanfic!

[ms-demeanor]

I had a 400-level shakespeare professor give us an assignment to write a canon compliant missing soliloquy in Hamlet and then write a paper justifying why we thought it was possible for the speech to be an unspoken part of the story. My soliloquy was Hamlet explaining that he didn't kill Claudius while he was praying because he knew that if he waited any amount of time Claudius's pride would guide him to committing another mortal sin and he wanted Claudius damned, not dead. My justification for this was literally every scene including Claudius has him committing a sin within the logic of the fictional universe *if* you grant that it takes place in a catholic universe (and whether the story takes place in a catholic or protestant universe is pretty important to interpreting the play and is very much up for debate).

He gave extra points for accuracy in EME usage and appropriate switching between iambic pentameter and prose.

As it turns out "can you inhabit the perspective of the characters in a story" and "can you identify stylistic choices that are used to create emphasis and set a scene" are questions that are pertinent both for writing fanfic and for reading comprehension.

[dozydawn]

[everythingfox]

The final boss branch manager