things the pine guard never said @incorrect-amnesty - Tumblr Blog

Thacker: I calculated the odds that I would succeed vs the odds this was a stupid idea and... I went ahead anyway.

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #taz amnesty spoilers #arlo thacker #source: mystery science theater 3000

Ned: The best possible outfit will always be one of those puffy white shirts with those lace up thigh high leather boots because you’ll either look like a gay vampire, a pirate, the protagonist in an extremely homoerotic period drama set in 19th century england, or like you’re about to blow up parliament. You simply cannot lose.

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #ned chicane #source: tumblr

Agent Stern: I don't have a favorite Bigfoot- I mean cryptid-

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #agent joseph stern #source: unknown

Dani: Bye, Aubrey!

Aubrey, mumbling to herself: More like bi Aubrey.

#source: a fanfic im writing for a different fandom #(its a magnus archives fanfic)#submission #the adventure zone #taz amnesty #aubrey little #dani taz

Duck: Jane just tried to ask me if I wanted to go to bed but instead it came out as "Do you need to use the sleep?"

Duck: And then she just kinda looked really horrified at herself and whispered, "Maybe I need to use the sleep."

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #duck newton #jane newton

Barclay: Okay, we need to think straight right now.

Ned: Well, shit, goodbye everyone.

Barclay: I swear to god, Ned, now is not the time.

#wrong blog :')#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #barclay taz #ned chicane #source: tumblr

Thacker: This is nature!

Juno: Oh?

Thacker: It covers most of the earth!

Juno: Oh!

#this is silly #the adventure zone #taz amnesty #arlo thacker #juno divine #source: top gear america

Ned, pointing to the rest of the Pine Guard: If you're some dumb folks looking to just get murdered, I have just the place for you!

Ned, pointing to Muffy and Winthrop: If you're well to do and you just gotta hunt humans, I know just the place for you!

Ned, spreading his arms out wide: The CRYPTONOMICA!

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #ned chicane #source: snl

Kirby: Sometimes I'll fall asleep to Forensic Files. I'm also single, by the way.

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #kirby taz #source: bill hader on the late late show with james corden

Ned: I won't steal anything, alright? Scout's honor.

Duck: The Scouts don't want your honor.

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #ned chicane #duck newton #source: ao3 #queuetonomica #i'm not dead lol

Aubrey: You know what? FUCK gender norms.

Aubrey: I’m going to jupiter to get more stupider.

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #aubrey little #source: tumblr

Thacker: I typed my symptoms into my laptop and it says I could have "network connectivity problems."

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #arlo thacker #source: unknown #queuetonomica

Mama: Barclay, what are you doing?

Barclay, stirring listlessly: Making chocolate pudding.

Mama: What the hell? It's 3am.

Barclay: I've lost control of my life.

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #mama taz #barclay taz #source: rugrats

The quell: Humans start with 300 bones in their body

The quell: As we grow older they fuse together, you only have 206 bones now

The quell: What if I could help you? To have as many bones as a baby again?

Thacker, about to be possessed: Hey what the fuck

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #the quell #arlo thacker #queuetonomica #submission

Dani: Hey guys! Good alternative to recycling-

Dani: When you’re done with a glass bottle, eat it. Fucking eat the bottle

#im not dead lol just busy!!!#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #dani taz #i'll go through your submissions soon!!!!

Aubrey: Let me get this straight? Haha, more like, let me run this bi you-

Duck: We can't, oh my god.

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #aubrey little #duck newton #source: that FUCKING meme except im tired of it so i changed it a bit

*Five minutes after they meet and are driving away*

Ned: So... should I go somewhere and steal a toothbrush, or...

Boyd: Oh my god, Auturo.

Ned: I assume that means you'll be providing the toothbrush.

#the adventure zone #taz amnesty #ned chicane #boyd mosche #moschicane #source: unknown #queuetonomica

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things the pine guard never said