Now with 100% more Anders

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Isabela: Do you have a bag I can borrow?

Anders: The only bags I have at under my eyes and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.

Isabela: ...

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Hawke: I can't believe you broke up with me just because your cat doesn't like me.

Anders: I didn't say she doesn't like you, I said she thinks you are weird.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Hawke: I'm breaking up with you.

Anders: Ok, bye.

Hawke: You'll never find someone like me.

Anders: Thank the Maker.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Anders: Apparently I'm "too hostile" to people with other viewpoints. So to all the templars out there: if my manifesto has offended you in any way, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. You'll have to forgive me, it's just I didn't think any of you could read.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Anders: It's a good thing I still have this sexy cat costume!

Fenris: I really think you were not the intended audience for that.

Anders: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Fenris: Those pants look great, and I bet they’d look even better on Anders' floor.

Anders: Are you hitting on Hawke... for me?

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Hawke: I wasn't hurt that badly. Anders said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Anders: So anyway, I regain conciousness, there's Templars everywhere, Hawke's covered with blood, got an ice pick...Haha, it was kind of a weird Tuesday!

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Isabela: Okay, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like-you know- a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?

Anders: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Isabela: Okay, so, okay, were they holding you? Or was their hand like on your back?

Anders: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then they slid up, and then they were in my hair.

Isabela & Merrill: Ohhhh.

[Meanwhile]

Hawke: And, uh, and then I kissed him.

Varric: Tongue?

Hawke: Yeah.

Varric: Cool.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Varric: Uh oh.

Anders: What?

Varric: Somebody's in love.

Anders: Yeah, right. I just think Hawke is cool. It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about him.

Anders, later that night: Uh oh.

[dragonageisgay]

Hawke: Truth or dare?

Anders: Truth.

Hawke: How many hours have you slept this week?

Anders: Dare.

Hawke: Go to sleep.

Anders: I don’t like this game.

[insp.]

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Justice: Templars, beware. We have waffles.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Anders: *Unbuttons shirt*

Andraste's knickerweasels it's so hot in here.

Hawke: I know that, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Anders: Bro, can I get a sip of that water?

Fenris: It's not water.

Anders: Vodka! I like your style.

Fenris: It's vinegar.

Anders: What?

Fenris: It's vinegar, pussy.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Aveline: I hope you have a good explanation for this.

Anders: I actually have three. Pick your favorite.

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Anders: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Carver: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Varric: Then you’re poisonous, you idiot!

Bethany: What if it bites itself and I die?

Merrill: That’s blood magic.

Fenris: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Anders: That’s correlation, not causation.

Isabela: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Hawke: That’s kinky ;)

[incorrect-anders-quotes]

Anders: I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.

Hawke: I know this, and I love you.