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Melina: [watching the news] these two idiots tried to fight a squid.

Alexei and Yelena grumbling in unison:[covered in ink] Well maybe the squid was being a dick.

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Dreykov: Be honest, do you like Alexei?

Melina: No, what gave you that idea?

Dreykov: *holds up lab report with A+M written all over it*

Melina: *snatching paper* it stands for arson and murder.

#melina vostokoff #general dreykov #black widow incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes

Melina: I don't get it. dora calls herself an explorer, but she travels exclusively through mapped territories.

Natasha to Yelena: Why did you let her watch cartoons

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Alexei: Are you getting enough sleep?

Melina: Sometimes when I sneeze, my eyes close

#melina vostokoff #alexei shostakov #blackwidow #incorrect marvel quotes

Alexei: I wasn’t that drunk last night

Yelena: you were flirting with Melina

Alexei: so? she’s my wife

Natasha: you asked if she was single and cried when she said she wasn’t

#incorrect alexei shostakov #incorrect melina vostokoff #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect natasha romanoff #incorrect widowfam #melina vostokoff #alexei shostakov #yelena belova #natasha romanoff

Melina: what are you looking at?

Alexei , doing a buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of scented candle he is: porn

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Alexei: WHAT ARE ALL THESE DEAD BODIES DOING HERE ?

Melina: [nudges one with her toe] Honestly, not much.

#incorrect melina vostokoff #incorrect alexei shostakov #incorrect blackwidow #incorrect widowfam #melina vostokoff #alexei shoskatoff #melina x alexei

Alexei: I have a feeling we should kiss

Melina: Sometimes, I have a feeling I should do crystal meth, but then I think: hmm, better not.

#incorrect melina vostokoff #incorrect alexei shostakov #incorrect widowfam #melina vostokoff #alexei shoskatoff #melina x alexei

“If a guy calls you ‘princess’ in a condescending manner, assert your newly appointed royal status and have him beheaded.”

-Melina

#incorrect melina vostokoff #melina vostokoff #incorrect blackwidow #incorrect widowfam

Natasha: Be careful. Don’t die.

Yelena: Great. We’re all bloody inspired.

#incorrect black widow #incorrect widowfam #incorrect yelena belova #incorrect natasha romanoff

Melina: my fake husband is too tall for me to kiss. What should I do?

Natasha: punch him in the stomach. When he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Antonia: tackle him!

Dreykov: dump him.

Yelena: kick him in the shin.

Alexei: no to all of those! just ask me to lean down!

#melina vostokoff #melina x alexei #alexie shostakov #yelena belova #natasha romanoff #taskmaster #antonia dreykov #widowfam

Yelena: Here’s the thing though. Is it still a murder if I give them a heads up?

Alexie: I think that’s called a threat.

#incorrect marvel quotes #yelena belova #alexie shostakov #widowfam

Alexie: We’re playing scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Natasha: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Alexie: Not when you're playing with Melina it's not. She puts words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog."

#incorrect marvel quotes #melina vostokoff #natasha romanoff #alexie shostakov #widowfam

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