Incorrect mcu Spiderman Quotes

They totally said this I heard it I was there

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Ned before prom: Alright, Peter, you’ve got this. Get out there and show MJ the time of her life. Just remember your training.

Peter: But I don’t have any training!

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Peter: so what exactly are we doing here? 

Shuri, tying a rope around a cat: well, we’re about to break several world records at once 

Shuri: not entirely sure if that’s a good thing 

Peter: 

Peter: 

Peter: let’s do it

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Peter: when you’ve been a superhero as long as I have you develop thick skin

Shuri: red isn’t your color

Peter: red briNGS OUT MY EYES YOU PRICK

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Peter realizing he made a mistake: my head hurts

Mj watching him: that’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Peter: Do you care if I take the skin off of the Furby? I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin the path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.

Peter: Oh, and also I want to softhack his circuits.

Tony: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Peter: Harley asked me to be his date at his upcoming family reunion to avoid all the questions about if he has a date yet.

Mj: I’ve read enough fanfiction to know how this ends.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Shuri: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Mj: Sober.

Harley: A little tipsy.

Ned: Wasted.

Peter: Dead.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

*Peter, Ned, and Mj watching Flash*

Ned: Should we tell him?

Mj: No, shh.

Flash: *keeps pushing on a door clearly marked “pull”*

Peter: He’s almost at ten minutes. I’m impressed.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Nick Fury, doing his best to deal with Stark’s spider child: So, there are aliens attacking New York and you hear a child crying. What do you do?

Peter:

Peter: Call the Avengers.

Fury: You are the avengers!

[fuwaprince]

US Helplines:

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600

Drinkline: 0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline: [phone]

India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868

FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:

Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430

Australia: 13-11-14

Austria: 01-713-3374

Barbados: 429-9999

Belgium: 106

Botswana: 391-1270

Brazil: 21-233-9191

China: 852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)

Costa Rica: 606-253-5439

Croatia: 01-4833-888

Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark: 70-201-201

Egypt: 762-1602

Estonia: 6-558-088

Finland: 040-5032199

France: 01-45-39-4000

Germany: 0800-181-0721

Greece: 1018

Guatemala: 502-234-1239

Holland: 0900-0767

Honduras: 504-237-3623

Hungary: 06-80-820-111

Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90

Israel: 09-8892333

Italy: 06-705-4444

Japan: 3-5286-9090

Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia: 03-756-8144

(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)

Mexico: 525-510-2550

Netherlands: 0900-0767

New Zealand: 4-473-9739

New Guinea: 675-326-0011

Nicaragua: 505-268-6171

Norway: 47-815-33-300

Philippines: 02-896-9191

Poland: 52-70-000

Portugal: 239-72-10-10

Russia: 8-20-222-82-10

Spain: 91-459-00-50

South Africa: 0861-322-322

South Korea: 2-715-8600

Sweden: 031-711-2400

Switzerland: 143

Taiwan: 0800-788-995

Thailand: 02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800

Ukraine: 0487-327715

(Source)

[uie-deactivated20230402]

ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.

[n-n-e-b-u-l-a-a]

Seriously thank you.

[fawning]

I will always reblog this.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

This may not fit with my usual stuff but this is important. To everyone out there: you are loved.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Peter, texting Happy: so today i stopped a theif

Happy: Thief.

Peter: thats what i said theif

Happy: No, I before e except after c

Peter: ...

Peter: thceif

Happy: No.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Peter: *answering the phone* Stark Industries, this is Spider-Man speaking.

Villain: Spider-Man, we have your sibling and-

Peter: Hold on, which sibling? Mr. Stark has a lot of kids.

Villain: Oh, um, small, sassy, said something about a potato gun?

Peter: Oh, Harley. Yeah, you don’t have him, he has you.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Sony: *Pulls Spider-Man out of the MCU*

Peter: Aw, fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Peter: god I hate being alive I just wanna die in a national park under mysterious circumstances

[20 minutes later]

Peter: Ok I’m done being dramatic. I started the homework and it’s not that bad.

[incorrect-spidermcu]

“Still having nightmares about Mr. Stark and Thanos. It’s time I get some relief by joining the Area 51 raid. I’m bringing Stark tech for everyone.

-A post on Spider-Man’s official Instagram accompanied by a selfie of Spider-Man wearing an alien mask

[incorrect-spidermcu]

Kidnapper: We have your kid.

Tony, creating a mental checklist: No, Morgan is in the kitchen with Pepper, Peter is doing his homework at the table, Harley just blew something up in the lab, Dum-E and U and Butterfingers are helping deal with the fire in the lab, Nebula is sharpening her knives and sitting on the kitchen counter, and Vision is playing Mario.

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for a glass of chocolate milk and the crust cut off his PBJ sandwich?

Tony: Oh my god they have Hawkeye!

[incorrect-spidermcu]

*over the phone*

Ned: I’m here, where are you?

Peter: I see you.

Ned: Are you the person lying down in the middle of the road?

Peter: Yeah, floor it.