tone-deaf blog

the title is inaccurate. they would say this.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Bennett: When I was a kid, Kaeya told me that the paper strips in chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them for a year.

Fischl: Forsooth, they art!

Bennett: For real?!

Fischl: Why wouldst thou fall for that a second time?

[3rdgymbros]

Zhongli, after three minutes of silence: You don’t have to use the chopsticks just to impress me.

Childe, trying to pick up his drink: I can do it.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Childe: Look, I might not have been a saint, but it's not like I killed anybody. I wasn't an arsonist. I never found a wallet outside on the street and thought about returning it, but the owner lived outside of the city so I just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Zhongli: Okay, that's really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Jean: You have to apologize to Kaeya.

Diluc: Fine. Un-fuck you or whatever.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Bennett: This is probably the second weirdest way I've almost died.

Barbara: What's the first?

Bennett: It’s very complicated but, long story short, my family is banned from every Olive Garden in the state.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Zhongli: Are you drunk?

Venti: Is drunk when your body is a marshmallow and your head feels like a bowling ball?

[incorrect-teyvat]

Kaeya: How would you and Paimon like to do something for money?

Traveler: Can we have some details first?

[incorrect-teyvat]

Childe: How much blood do you have to lose before you can't get a boner?

Scaramouche: What kind of life do you live?

[incorrect-teyvat]

Diluc: Halt, traveler! You must solve our riddle to continue!

Kaeya: Here we go...

Diluc: One of us only tells the truth, and the other only tells LIES!

Kaeya: Archons, Diluc, I said I was sorry!

[incorrect-teyvat]

Bennett: When I was a kid, Kaeya told me that the paper strips in chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them for a year.

Fischl: Forsooth, they art!

Bennett: For real?!

Fischl: Why wouldst thou fall for that a second time?

[incorrect-teyvat]

Zhongli: Did you have a good sleep?

Venti: If a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a great sleep!

[totallycorrect-genshinimpact]

Childe: I came out here to attack people and honestly I’m having such a good time right now.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Zhongli to Azhdaha: You have chubby cheeks so that your body can absorb shock. I structured your DNA that way.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Venti: Maybe I'll see you again!

Xiao: I'd rather shit a knife.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Kaeya: It's my birthday, the most fun day of the year, something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy.

Albedo: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.

Kaeya: You know, when you play along with the robot jokes, it kinda ruins my enjoyment of them.

Albedo: Yes, I know.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Ganyu: Rex Lapis! I have bad news!

Zhongli: There is no bad news or good news, only news.

Ganyu: Xiao has gone missing!

Zhongli: ... that is bad news.

[incorrect-teyvat]

Diluc: Kaeya, are you alright?

Kaeya: I think so.

Diluc: Well you don't deserve to be!