Incorrect West Side Story Quotes

Actual lines and lyrics from the West Side Story script you missed!

[incorrect-wss-quotes]

Bernardo: Lieutenant Schrank, my arch nemesis.

Riff: I thought I was your arch nemesis.

Bernardo: I have a life outside of you, Riff.

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tfw when you disappear off the face of the earth for a few months only to return to spam everyone with shit

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Tony: This is such a bad idea.

Riff: Then why are you coming along?

Tony: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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Action: Ice has a point. The traumatic death of a leader, specially at our age, can trigger a whole range of emotions. As a psychologist-

Anybody's: Floor don.

Action: I hereby offer my licensed-

Anybody's: Unlicensed.

Action: Services as a grief counselor.

Anybody's: Grief causer.

Action: If anyone needs to talk, the doctor-

Anybody's: Not even close.

Action: Is in.

[incorrect-wss-quotes]

Maria: Do you want a quickie?

Tony: Ex- excuse me?

Maria: A quickie, one of those cake things.

Tony: IT’S PRONOUNCED QUICHE.

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Bernardo: Don't tell your mother

Anita: Kiss one another

Bernardo: dIE FOR EACH oThER

Anita: *falls over*

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Maria: Can you imagine not being human and just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? Beautiful? By the water? Unburdened?

Anita: I want to be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything.

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Anybody's: Good afternoon.

Anybody's: Report of my first day on the Fun Jets:

Anybody's: Still haven’t had any fun.

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Tony: Bernardo.

Tony: *insistent* Bernardo?

Tony: *urgent* Bernardo!

Tony: Oh my fucking God, he fucking dead

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A-Rab: Hey, how much money do you have?

Baby John: Oh, sixty-nine cents.

A-Rab: Oh, you know what that means!

Baby John: *tears up* I don't have enough money for chicken nugget

[incorrect-wss-quotes]

Ice: Anybody under 5’7 can’t be talking about fighting anyone. Like, what are you gonna do? Headbutt someone in the nipples?

Anybody's: Say goodbye to your kneecaps, asshole.

[incorrect-wss-quotes]

Riff: What's cooler than being cool?

Bernardo: Financial stability.

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Bernardo: [to Anita] Babe, you need to be kind to people.

Riff: He-

Bernardo: Fuck off.

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Diesel: Everybody know what they’re doing?

Anybodys: Like, in general or the plan?

Diesel: The plan, frosh.

Anybodys: Oh, phew.

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A-Rab: Are you okay?

Baby John: Yeah I’m fine, the shaking is just a side effect of the fear.

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Tony: That’s blackmail, that is. We could get into a lot of trouble for that…

Riff: Blackmail’s such an ugly word… I prefer “extortion”. The “x” makes it sound cool.

[xsprinkledheart-deactivated2020]

caption: I WAS GONNA TAKE A NICE FXCKING PICTURE BUT I FXCKING BROKE THE CHAIR

okay, since reading west side story headcanons and checking out @incorrect-wss-quotes i can’t stop laughing over this stupid stupid joke so i drew a picture of tony falling out of a chair i swear my art is better and more serious than this i swear

[incorrect-wss-quotes]

shit I RUN THAT BLOG

AND YOU DREW THIS THIS IS SO CUTE DON’T BE ASHAMED OF YOUR ART

ILY BBY