Incorrect Bishova (that one from Twitter)

Shit these roommates say.

[incorrectbishova]

Yelena: I may be small but I am mighty and all-knowing.

Kate: You don’t even know what’s on the top shelf.

Yelena: I know that I will murder you.

Kate: From down there?

[incorrectbishova]

The WhatsApp user you are trying to reach is unavailable.

[incorrectbishova]

Truly.

[incorrectbishova]

Yelena: Please give me words of encouragement so I do not kill my father tonight, Kate Bishop.

Kate: Happily. Prison jumpsuits don’t have pockets.

Yelena: *nods* Thank you.

[incorrectbishova]

It’s their love language.

[incorrectbishova]

Kate: Mom, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend, Yelena Belova.

Eleanor: *sighs* You could have picked anyone in the world and yet you pick her?

Kate: Wow, mom. I know you can be a bit of a bitch but-

Eleanor: I was talking to Yelena, Dear.

Kate: oh.

[incorrectbishova]

Yelena: You know not every problem can be solved with an arrow, Kate Bishop.

Kate: That’s why I carry several.

Yelena: And yet you still only have one fork.

[incorrectbishova]

[incorrectbishova]

Kate: There's no way Yelena likes me, Peter.

Peter: Now Kate, look here. That woman would throw herself in front of a moving car for you.

Kate: Yelena would throw herself in front of a moving car for fun.

[incorrectbishova]

*playing twister at the New Asgard Yuletide feast*

Valkyrie: Right hand red!

Kate: *loses balance and ends up on top of Yelena*

Yelena: *growls* You are doing this on purpose, aren't you?

Valkyrie: I stopped spinning 15 minutes ago. I'm surprised you didn't notice. You are the smart one right?

[incorrectbishova]

Kate: Hey, Yelena. I got you a little early Christmas present. *sheepishly presents Yelena with a silver arrow necklace*

Yelena: You know I’m not really a gift person, Kate Bishop.

Kate: Oh, well you don’t have to wear-

Yelena, teary eyed: No I’m going to wear it forever back off!

[incorrectbishova]

Kate: Clint, old buddy, old pal! We have a little Christmas surprise for you but it’s just throu-

Yelena: *shoots Clint in the neck with a dart*

Clint: Wha-? *groans and falls face-first onto the floor*

Kate: Yelena!? What are you doing?!

Yelena: *shrugs nonchalantly* Don’t worry. It’s only a tranquilliser.

Kate: …

Yelena: Oh. You were thinking blindfold?

[incorrectbishova]

Kate: This macaroni is too hot. I can’t eat it.

Yelena: You’re too hot and I still eat you.

Kate: *blushes*

Yelena: *grins*

Peter: One dinner. I just want ONE DINNER with you guys.

Yelena: What? … My daddy says it’s good for you.

[incorrectbishova]

Peter: Shit! The bakery messed up the message on Kate’s cake. It’s supposed to say ‘Kate’s Birthday’.

Yelena: And… what does it say?

Peter: ‘Kate’s Bi’.

Yelena: Well… that could work also.

[aurevoirblog-deactivated2023082]

Peter: Shit! The bakery messed up your surprise cake too. It was supposed to say ‘Yelena’ on top.

Yelena: And… what does it say?

Peter: ‘Yelena’s on top’.

Yelena: …Smush the cakes together.

[incorrectbishova]

Kate: Christmas gets so much harder as you get older, you know?

Yelena: You’re 23…

Kate: 'What do you want?'… I don't know. My mother’s undying approval? Access to my trust fund?

Yelena: I just want more pockets. Definitely more pockets.

[incorrectbishova]

Yelena: You know, you shouldn’t put reindeer antlers on dogs? They don’t like it.

Kate: ‘Naaaur yOu ShOuLdN’t pUT rEiNdEEr aNtlERs oN dOgS tHEy DoN’T lIkE iT’…. Says known murderer.

Yelena: *eyes narrow*

Kate: …

Kate: Clint, Laura! Yelena’s trying to cancel Christmas again!

[incorrectbishova]

Peter: Shit! The bakery messed up the message on Kate’s cake. It’s supposed to say ‘Kate’s Birthday’.

Yelena: And… what does it say?

Peter: ‘Kate’s Bi’.

Yelena: Well… that could work also.