Incorrect Hawks Quotes

totally accurate quotes

[incorrectblackhawks]

jonathan toews: why are kirby and adam sitting with their backs to eachother?

alex debrincat: they had a fight

jonathan toews: then why are they holding hands?

alex debrincat: they get sad when they fight

[incorrectblackhawks]

adam burish: how we looking?

patrick sharp: sexy, but not like we're trying too hard.

patrick sharp: like, sure, we're trying, but it's almost effortless.

[incorrectblackhawks]

jonathan toews: i'm always incredibly appropriate. in high school, i was voted "most appropriate."

patrick kane: ooh, self burn! those are rare.

[incorrectblackhawks]

alex debrincat: how do tall people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?

dylan strome: alex, it's four o'clock in the morning.

alex debrincat: so, you can't sleep, huh? is it because of the blanket?

[incorrectblackhawks]

jonathan toews: *answers phone* hello?

andrew shaw: it's shawzy.

jonathan toews: what did he do this time?

andrew shaw: no, it's me, andrew. it's actually me.

jonathan toews: what did you do this time?

[incorrectblackhawks]

corey crawford: sometimes i'll start a sentence and i don't even know where it's going. i just hope i find it along the way.

[incorrectblackhawks]

jonathan toews: you ever feel like you’re being watched?

patrick sharp: all the time. when you look this good, you get used to it.

[incorrectblackhawks]

alex debrincat: you look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

dylan strome: wrong. i look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in his own pool. big difference.

[incorrectblackhawks]

patrick kane: bonjour, jonathan. voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

jonathan toews: no, i don't want to sleep with you.

patrick kane: is that what that means? oh, man, i had a really gross tennis instructor.

[incorrectblackhawks]

kirby dach: i wasn't drunk!

brent seabrook: you colored my face with a highlighter because you said i was important!

kirby dach: but you are!!!

[incorrectblackhawks]

andrew shaw: an apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

[incorrectblackhawks]

dylan strome: what're you in for? murder?

zookeeper: [looking at the penguin dylan is talking to] he's not in for anything

dylan strome: so he can leave

zookeeper: no

dylan strome: because he's in witness protection?

zookeeper: no

dylan strome: well then what the fuck is going on khaki man

[incorrectblackhawks]

dylan strome: that's one of my biggest fears.

dylan strome: if i ever, like, woke up as a donut?

alex debrincat: you would eat yourself?

dylan strome: i wouldn't even question it.

[incorrectblackhawks]

jonathan toews: parlay, locker room. five minutes.

patrick kane: parlay?

corey crawford: pirate code. he wants to meet.

patrick kane: so everyone here knows pirate code now?

corey crawford: i understand it. i can't speak it.

[incorrectblackhawks]

dylan strome: guys, i got a pet snake! what should i name him?

jonathan toews: i'm sorry, you got a-

alex debrincat: william snakespear.

[incorrectblackhawks]

jonathan toews: favorite horror movie?

patrick kane: birdbox

corey crawford: the shining

brent seabrook: it

duncan keith: saw

kirby dach: i dunno, high school musical was pretty terrifying

[incorrectblackhawks]

patrick kane: are you taken?

jonathan toews: yeah, for granted.